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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 5 years

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hi! I am one of your fans on ao3. I love your immortal Lily series and I just can't stop thinking about a crossover of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" and "When Harry Met Tom". Sorry to bother you but I am so curious. Would you please tell me what may possibly happen if Lily and Wizard Lenin meet Harry and Tom?

Glad you enjoy my work so much.

Well, the way I see it, this can happen two ways. The first, Lily and Wizard Lenin mysteriously end up in the “When Harry Met Tom” warped timeline (as always I blame Rabbit) or else Harry and Tom end up in “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” (I blame Harry’s bottomless stupidity).

Lily and Wizard Lenin Mess Up “When Harry Met Tom”:

In the first case Lily would either try and fail to get the pair of them into Hogwarts (much to Wizard Lenin’s irritation) or else would say, “To hell with Hogwarts! I’ve already been in the 1990′s I don’t need to go in this weird version of the 1940′s dimension”. So, as a result, Lily and Wizard Lenin probably end up sitting around Hogsmeade a few days wondering what the hell they’re going to do now.

Wizard Lenin, not simply being lost in time but dimensions as well, probably officially gives up at this point. Either Lily bullshits them home (which isn’t happening because reasons) or else they have to do something dangerously unknown and stupid like walking through the veil of death (and Wizard Lenin likes being alive). So, to get him out of his sudden alcoholic stupor and general “woe is me, life is pointless, I have to live in an era where I went through puberty all over again” Lily probably suggests that they can start from scratch. They’re still in an England, after all, and Wizard Lenin wasn’t really attached to anything in the 1990′s. It may take a while, but they can just pick up his world dominating schemes here. Conveniently some dark lord of the day named Grindelwald, whose hair looks oddly like coleslaw gone bad, has done ¾ of their work for them.

Naturally, having the literal god that is Lily on his side who has natural right to the elder wand, Wizard Lenin and Lily anticlimactically defeat Grindelwald and take over his forces with their eyes set on England. The true seat of Wizard Lenin’s non-existant empire.

Also naturally, Wizard Lenin is moody and ambivalent as he likes the idea of ruling Western Europe but not so much the reality and he likes the reality that Lily could easily do it on a much faster scale than he ever could even less. So, moody brooding Wizard Lenin is moody and brooding.

Harry, meanwhile, who has been at Hogwarts this whole time trying and failing not to make ways in her teenage narcissism falsely concludes that whatever actions she’s taken at Hogwarts have somehow led to the premature defeat of Grindelwald and the rise of this new dark lord out of absolutely nowhere (details on Wizard Lenin hanging around in France being sparse at this point).

Feeling absurdly guilty as well as her need to fix everything. Harry decides to drop out of Hogwarts and go confront this mysterious dark wizard who was powerful enough to utterly destroy Gellert Grindelwald.

Tom, being a fool in love and denial, rushes out with her damning his education to hell in order to prevent her inevitable gruesome demise. Harry is unappreciative and unimpressed but can’t seem to shake him and really can’t afford to get him killed (the future has plans for Tom Marvolo Riddle after all).

Harry likely plans some very stupid kind of ambush with Tom trying to make it less stupid (though infinitely more cowardly) and bringing up the very good points of, “This really really really is not your responsibility, Harry”. However, probably around this point, Wizard Lenin makes a public appearance giving some ridiculous speech without any heart in it (that still gets rapturous applause as he’s just so damn pretty and charismatic it hurts) with Lily at his side and Harry realizes things have gone to funky town and back.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, it seems, has time traveled back to the past as well as Harry and like the Terminator is undoubtedly trying to stop her from doing whatever she’s doing to stop him (which makes him more Kyle Evans than the Terminator, but we’ll ignore that). Worse, he’s brought her underage mother along with him. And for reasons Harry can’t quite figure out, they’ve taken over France.

Harry naturally feels very betrayed by Tom, who was turning out to be less terrible than she’d assumed, while he’s just very weirded out by the whole thing and has no explanation himself (except he thinks time travel’s right out). He concludes, hesitantly, that that man up there may be his father. Tom then remembers his daydreams of grandeur and legacy, of a father who isn’t from the white trash Gaunts, and his ego explodes all over the place as he is now, in his mind, crown prince of this new magical empire. Naturally, he now must meet this man and adore him/rant at him for leaving him in that goddamned orphanage for sixteen years when he had the time to pick up that red-head girl standing with him.

Seeing what the king looks like, Tom proposes a new plan, he’ll take an aging potion (which should get him to look eerily like the newly crowned emperor of the magical holy roman empire) and take Harry in with him. This should get them past any low level guards and they’ll make their way in. This is just the kind of desperate idiocy that appeals to Harry, and while she doesn’t like Tom Riddle coming along in any capacity, agrees with the thought that she may have to destroy him in the past in order to prevent his time travelling future self from being here and taking over everything.

On their way in, they’re confronted by Lily, who quickly figures them out and is also very weirded out by what she correctly realizes is a time travelling biological sister of sorts and a Wizard Trotsky aged Tom Riddle. Lily has a lot more experience with this wibbly wobbly timey whimey bullshit than either Tom or Harry.

Lily then decides that this has to be taken up to Wizard Lenin, no matter how depressed he is, and maybe acting as a mentor for his alternate younger self will somehwo cheer him up (since the prospect of crushing all of Albus Dumbledore’s hopes and dreams doesn’t appear to be doing the trick).

Neither Harry nor Tom expected it to be this easy, but Lily has the ins they need, and soon enough they find themselves meeting Wizard Lenin who is already so past done he can’t even see the point where he was done anymore.

Naturally the most ridiculous conversation ever recorded is had at this point in which each party member is coming from it at very different angles. Tom is hurt and betrayed by the prospect of his cool dad abandoning him for so many years yet equally yearning for that idea of paternal guidance, Harry is increasingly confused and alarmed by the idea that this older Tom Riddle isn’t acting like Voldemort and doesn’t seem to recognize her at all (worse the girl she assumed was her mother is very much not her mother) which means that Harry has really gone and screwed things up, Lily is trying to rouse Wizard Lenin from his bout of depression via ridiculousness, and Wizard Lenin hates the very idea of his teenage self and is very tempted to murder the poor boy just to wipe all memory of Tom Marovlo Riddle from existence.

Lily forces things into a state of peace, offers to continue Harry and Tom’s education (since they now certainly can’t go back to Britain), which Wizard Lenin of course balks at knowing full well how capable Lily is at teaching the children, and schemes to give Wizard Lenin and Tom some good quality father and son bonding while she gets closer to the sister she never knew she had.

Both of these ventures go fantastically poorly.

Tom and Wizard Lenin grow to loathe each other with every passing moment. Wizard Lenin realizes Tom is hopelessly infatuated with what he sees as Lily Lite, has little to no perspective, and is an overemotional mess. Tom, for his own part, sees that Wizard Lenin and Lily are alarmingly close, sees Lily as a more crass Harry with absolutely no sense of propriety, and finds his older counterpart passionless and pathetic.

Harry and Lily, similarly, completely fail to see eye to eye and despite getting over the time travel hurdle rather quickly (Lily having figured it out in a second) realize they have vastly different world views. Lily cares greatly for the fate and happiness of a select few, but has no loyalty to the world or any noble cause. Lily would gladly let the muggleborn population suffer if it meant Wizard Lenin’s happiness, she doesn’t believe it does, but she’ll let him figure that out for himself. Harry, naturally, is horrified by this as she’s the opposite. She cares greatly for the world as a whole but has more trouble connecting to people individually and will allow her relationships to fray in the face of just cause. That, and Harry likes quidditch, which is clearly unforgiveable.

Wizard Lenin and Lily likely then meet, going over their various disappointments and what they might have expected. They conclude that they gave it a good try but maybe it’s just time to go and take over England already. Or, you know, go on vacation or something. Lily’s always wanted to go and terraform the moon, you know.

Harry and Tom have a similar moment, probably being angsty teens that they are give into hormones after Tom says something ridiculous yet romantic. They’re then abruptly thrown out of the palace by Lily who tells them good luck and good riddance and if they’re looking for England it’s across the channel.

Harry and Tom enter the chaos that is “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus:

Via ancient magical ritual gone terribly wrong, prancing fairies, or what have you Harry and Tom find themselves whisked to the wrong future. Harry, naturally at first is delighted (and panicked as Tom isn’t supposed to be here) then really panicked as Tom being here seems to have changed everything. Tom, meanwhile, is just hopelessly confused and alarmed realizing that his future has passed by in a blink of an eye.

In a hopeless daze of depression the pair try to enter Hogwarts. Dumbledore, on meeting them, is alarmed and confused but for his own purposes that are filled with so many spoilers we’re not going to touch them, allows them entrance into Hogwarts.

There they meet what Harry figures is the her that somehow comes about with Tom Riddle MIA for fifty years. Although why Tom Riddle disappearing would produce red hair is beyond her. Naturally Harry wants to know and compare herself against this alternate self and quickly finds herself frustrated and alarmed as Lily is… Lily. Lily is at once vastly more powerful than Harry, far more intelligent, but callous and indifferent to the fate of the world. This Harry clearly does not have a people saving thing, Harry concludes.

Lily, meanwhile, is weirded out but again figures it out fairly quickly being a connoiseur of the strange and unnatural. She tries to judge what kind of Tom Riddle she’ll be dealing with today as well as what her other self might have up her sleeve and want. Lily reports back to Wizard Lenin but also endeavors to keep an eye on the pair as, if they’re anything like her, then Harry is undyingly loyal to Tom and Tom Riddle has plans for this place that will not align with Wizard Lenin’s or the good of Hogwarts.

Harry tries and fails to befriend her old buddies, who are for one reason or another in Lily’s camp, and only manages to get close to Ron who for the most part hisses and spits about Eleanor Lily Potter and how he once thought she was so cool.

Tom is mistaken frequently for Lenin Rabbitson’s dark haired evil twin, or else Lenin Rabbitson with a dye job, and finds himself very annoyed while also intrigued by this and does some digging into the Rabbitson brother’s mysterious and horrific past (told by Wizard Lenin in Defense one day in an effort to shut Lockhart up already).

He also tries and fails to figure out who picked up the mantle of Voldemort if he himself wasn’t there. Eventually he finds Tom’s special award for the school and NEWT exam records, and realizes that somehow, a Tom Riddle was in fact left behind even as he was whisked ahead. He has this mysterious doppelganger out there stealing his name and his future. Tom doesn’t take this well.

Lily tries and fails to befriend the pair, working on assumptions that just aren’t true, and eventually ends in a kind of uneasy truce with the pair of them as they realize that to learn anything of importance all of them have to get closer to one another.

Wizard Lenin, stressed from his ongoing campaign while also intrigued, probably sets up a meeting to meet the pair for himself. During a Hogsmeade trip he meets Tom Riddle and it’s a very surreal encounter in which, according to magical lore, Tom Riddle is facing the omen of his own demise. They end up dueling to the death.

Harry and Lily end up intervening, each taking their respective Tom Riddle’s side, and the story would then likely end with this faceoff unresolved.

TL;DR

None of them would get along at all.

#ask #lily and the art of being sisyphus #when harry met tom #plot outlines #writing #wizard lenin #female harry potter #tom riddle

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