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gleefail · 4 years

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Glee Memories: 1x15 The Power of Madonna

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x15 The Power of Madonna heeee, Sue just referenced Desperately Seeking Susan. Man, I loved that movie as a kid. Who’s That Girl as well anybody remember that one?!

hahaha, how have I never noticed before that Quinn is drawing a picture of Rachel Berry…a very unflattering picture that says “LOSER”? Awesome.

hahaha. Jesse and Rachel ‘hypothetically’ went to a Wiggles concert. Seriously, he’s kinda perfect for her.

Aw – The Montage from A Chorus Line is playing under Jesse’s pressure-her-into-sex moment. I have such fond memories of that song. I was featured in this song for a show that ended up changing the course of my entire life, quite literally. :)

“Would you please stop talking? You’re grossing out my baby.”

“But I can’t wait to get a guy mad at me for saying ‘no’.” Bite your tongue, Mercedes. Also…be careful what you wish for.

Still creeps me out that they have this whole sex talk with Mr. Schue in the room. And that he eavesdrops. And that when he speaks up it’s to ask if they’re having that much ‘guy trouble’, not to actually be a good teacher and help Rachel out in her “my boyfriend’s pressuring me to have sex but I’m not ready” situation or to respond to Britany and Santana’s advice to just never say no and that they should have more self-respect…teacher of the year indeed.

Do women really still earn 70 cents to every dollar a man does for the same job? Oh, eff that!

More Emma pamphlets: HELP! I’m in love with my stepdad! I still breastfeed …but how old is too old? Congratulations, you’re pregnant. Proper Wiping: Easy as 1…2…3 …and something about Toxic Shock Syndrome and Asperger’s that I can’t read, lol.

Ugh, douche. Will just said this area of expertise (sex) is Emma’s blindspot. Jerk.

So Glee seems to have a knack for insulting folks that will later be guest stars. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Stamos have been mentioned thus far, and Lindsay Lohan just made the list. Hmmm…

I love the Ann Coultier jab. Cause I despise that ‘woman’

Ray of Light routine on stilts. Still leaves me speechless. My favorite part is still when the men on stilts do these assisted lifts with women who are not. They get them so effing high. It’s just amazing.

“Somehere on the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping.”

“Hall of fame MILF”

HA! Artie’s look in response to Tina giving him side-eye. Too funny.

Finn has no idea what misogynistic means. #BlessFinnsHeart

Kurt is gonna do a video of Madonna’s styles. With Mercedes. Kurtcedes love. :)

Yeah, I find it hard to believe high school boys wouldn’t be rubbin’ one out at these girls in corsets, touchin’ themselves and bein’ a little S&M with one another. Even if they hate Madonna with a passion. Their disinterest is completely unrealistic.

Britany has a (younger presumably as she plays soccer with a 7 year old) sister. Forgot about that. I think RIB did too.

The way to get a man forever is to take his virginity? Really? I would think that would unleash him into a sexual awakening and sleeping with everything he could now that he wouldn’t be perceived as ‘lame’ or a loser or whatever for being a virgin…no?

Finnocence. Nice.

Can we acknowledge that Finn lost his virginity in a plot for Santana to snag a younger man (by what, 4 days I think she said?) to emulate Madonna per Sue and not get kicked off the Cheerios? That’s…just so sad.

“You’re about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid.” – ha!

So…watching this post-Nationals, does Emma get to have Madonna playing in her office now? ;)

Finn’s pissed that Rachel lied to him and didn’t really break it off with Jesse. Evs. Mind ya business, Finn.

So because he’s jealous or his ego is hurt or whatever, Finn tells Rachel if her and Jesse leads to something bad for the entire Glee club not to expect anymore friendship from him. Um…yeah. I’d marry him a year or two later. Cause…clearly he’ll be there through rough times…douche. Selfish, childish douche.

I still really like this mash-up of Borderline/Open Your Heart. And as much as I don’t love Finchel, the angst in this is my cup o’ tea. I like it.

I do love all the Madonna shout-outs in the hallway. Makes me feel old that I recognize each of these looks. Oy.

Finn, why are you just randomnly tearing books from the shelves and knocking them to the floor as you walk through the library? Such a badass…

I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Brad was the piano player for one of Emily Gilmore’s parties (I think Rory’s college grad party). Hilarious. Also, he looked EXACTLY the same. How long ago was that?!

I find it awesome that Mercedes has a picture of a gal from So You Think You Can Dance in her locker. I love that show.

Up With People rejects. Ha.

Hmm. Will is suddenly not intimidated at all by Sue and her quips. What brought that on? Although, it’s hot when he stands up to her. Until he makes fun of her hair. Then he seems like a jerk.

“Oh, snap!” I love this moment. And the gif that came out of it.

Birth moment of the Sue, Kurt, Mercedes dynamic right there. Yay. :)

Sue just told Kurt and Mercedes about her sister being handicapped. I don’t care what anyone says, she likes them, even just a little bit. And I love this dynamic of the three of them. It always makes me smile.

Hahaha – Kurt’s reaction to Sue not being able to keep up with the latest looks when she was younger. Hilarious.

“Mercedes is black. I’m gay. We make culture.”

“I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting because only he can express my melonchalia.”

“You deserve epic romance.” Listen. Looking back from the end of Season 3, I really am not understanding why I’m supposed to want Rachel with Finn. Jesse makes so much more sense.

“Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.” Oh Emma. A for effort.

Vogue. Man. I was so little when this came out. I remember when it premiered on MTV.

Jane Lynch has such long legs. I’m jealous.

“Will Schuester. I hate you.”

Like A Virgin still makes me really uncomfortable. For so many reasons. I just…don’t need to see this side of any of these characters. I feel like a voyeur.

How did Santana and Finn swing a motel room at 15 years old? Hmm….

Add Whoopi to that list of joked about future guest stars. Yeesh…that’s 5 now? 4? Stamos, Paltrow, Lohan and Goldberg.

Sue is gonna reinvent Kurt and Mercedes. Squee!

Why is Rachel looking at sheet music for Where Is Love? Cause 1. I hate that song, 2. I hate that show, and 3. shoutout to the pilot?

Finn just asked Rachel how her date with Jesse went. With the subtext of “did you sleep with him?” WHY are they even talking about this? I don’t get it. It’s private Finn, so rude you’d even ask. Also, how does he even know they are even close to sex? I missed something. This is so weird. Made even more weird that neither of them seems to think it’s weird that they’re having this conversation. Ugh.

“Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.” Jesse is ridiculously perfect for Rachel Berry.

Okay, I’m gonna rant for a second: I know I’m anal and put him on a pedestal and all, but S3, they make it sound like Sam had sex with one of his clients at the strip club; after they’ve shoved super-romantic in-love-with-Mercedes Sam at us for like, 9 episodes in a row over a span of like, 3 or 4 months; regardless of how I personally feel about that or that ship, right now we see a super uncomfortable scene that still breaks my heart where Finn is dealing with the aftermath of sleeping with Santana, when he has feelings for someone else, but more in that he doesn’t have feelings for her, therefore it didn’t mean anything and it’s clearly not sitting well with him. Regret is all over his face. It’s so sad. So…why did they do the same thing but expect it to be okay in S3 regarding Sam (but even more gross cause of the whole stripper/client aspect)? Eff you, Glee.

I feel like this might be the most real and vulnerable I’ve ever seen Santana (in the post-coital conversation with Finn in the motel room bed). I mean…a couple moments may rival it, but it’s definitely top 5 if not top 3. It’s so sad to see how she really feels about this aspect of her life that publicly she seems so proud of and invincible to. Man. Poor Santana.

Um…is Puck playing Ninja in the background or just being a human statue or something? It doesn’t look like anyone is playing with him, so it must be the latter? Random.

Something changed in the way I felt about Glee after this episode, now that I look back on it. I felt like I should’ve left this episode feeling like “wow – they’re ballsy and go against the grain! They’ll do the unexpected” but…instead I was left with a feeling of “do I trust these writers with these people I’ve come to care about?” I’m referring to the possibility of consummation with 3 couples, 2 of which would have seemed…not completely unhealthy and one that obviously was…and they had those 2 chicken out and consummated the 1 that just shouldn’t have because it was kind of an irresponsible message to send to the youngins watching this show who they say at times they speak to when they write things like Kurt’s gay storyline or about being an outcast but finding a group that understands you and being happy with who you are. But here I’m sure they’d say something about how they’re not role models and shouldn’t be emulated. Yeah. This was the beginning of the end of my true love for Glee and the beginning of me just loving certain characters and occasional episodes or storylines…the beginning of my love to hate Glee. Whee. :/

It’s cute that Will polished Emma’s shoes. :)

I know a lot of people think it’s condescending and all, but I think the way Will handles suggesting counseling etc. to Emma was nice. There’s something mature about it. I think it’s that he’s like “we need to take action to work through our issues or they’re not gonna go away” as a team. It was nice.

“What the hell? It seems like now people are doing things JUST to hurt my feelings!” Ok, so maybe Finn IS more perfect for Rachel than I thought. Selfish little man-child.

Jesse St. James just joined New Directions. Kurt is pissed cause it means he’ll have no chance at a solo. Mercedes mentions that they only trot her out at the end of songs to wail on the last note, how is that okay? Truth.com. Also, why were those two issues NEVER addressed by Will? They were put out there, they were true as hell, and they were just ignored. Teacher of the year indeed.

Santana points out that obvs Jesse is a spy. Mr. Schue sticks up for Jesse and lets him join. Yet Rachel wasn’t allowed to date him cause that would be bad for the Glee club? #WTF?

“Mr. Schue, is he your son?”

“Okay, from the top!”

4 Minutes. Seriously, I never thought Chris Colfer was hot before I saw this song. But let’s be real – he is hot as fuck in this song, I still think so. It was the first time I noticed as well that boy had grown into a little man! When did THAT happen? Wasn’t he just a baby-faced nugget like, 3 episodes before this?

Also, I love both of the vocals for them on this song.

Ok. This still pisses me off (can you tell this is an ep that started my rage towards Glee? Lol): Emma, Mr. Schue and Rachel are all distraught and shocked when they see that Mercedes and Kurt have joined the Cheerios…WHY? Britany and Santana are already on the Cheerios and in Glee and it’s fine. Quinn was. Why is this such a betrayal? They didn’t QUIT ND to join the Cheerios. And isn’t Rachel in like, 16 clubs in addition to Glee? Puck, Finn, Mike and Matt are on the football team. Artie has jazz band and AV club. Mercedes and Kurt and Tina are the only ones who are ONLY in Glee Club. This is stupid.

Shot of Quinn who is happy as a pig in shit for the two of them. THANK YOU Quinn for having sense and being a cool person and good friend.

“You guys could’ve at least given me a heads up.” “You mean, the same you way you gave us a heads up before NOT giving us a solo almost every week?” PREACH!!

You expect me to believe that the sexuality of Express Yourself, Artie working on that kick-ass Vogue video, or that amazing performance of 4 Minutes didn’t sway the boys to like Madonna…but their shitty rendition of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” did? Fuck you, Glee. I’m not an idiot. Stop treating me like one.

Why is Kurt a part of this lesson on treating the girls with respect? 1. He’s into Madonna, so he doesn’t need to be converted. 2. He’s NOT treating the girls like garbage. Teacher of the year indeed.

“I think we’re gonna need a new baritone cause Finn would like to become Finnessa”

“My growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality.”

Kurt mentions he’s an honorary girl. Again, WHY is he a part of this lesson?

AW. It just broke my heart a little that Tina said to Artie “why would you propose when you don’t even like me?” Aw. Poor Tina.

Alright, I admit, I love that whoever wrote this ep finally ended this nonsense with Finn being all pissed at Rachel for dating Jesse like she did something wrong and made him realize why she was even single to be pursued by Jesse in the first place. Kudos…whoever you are cause they didn’t credit the writer or director on this ep (the fuck?).

“Sing off. The parking lot. 5:00. Be there.” “No…”

“Frankly, I need you. I’m tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself.” Oh, FUCK. YOU. Finn! (I say on behalf of Kurt, Artie, and Puck).

Kurt just sang his first itty bitty solo in Glee club and then before Mercedes starting singing he ran up and gave her a peck on the cheek. Oh my God, I love them.

Gospel choir. So. Effing. Random. Yet so. Effing. EPIC.

SOLOS: Rachel (4), Mercedes (3), Finn (3), Emma (1), Santana (1), Will (1), Jesse (1), Kurt (2)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee The Power of Madonna

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