#i ignore that one because god. what. hwat. what.

[leavingautumn13]

Name: Darksun

Age: adult(tm)

Meaning behind tumblr url: Ghost faced bats are my favorite animal in a "he's so ugly, i love him!" kinda way

Hobbies/Interests: Uhh mostly drawing and writing! I also love playing video games (like fallout and pokemon which initially drew me to your account LOL)

Why you follow me: I love your art SO MUCH! Goals really

Random fact about yourself: biggest OC hoarder in the west. currently working on my sci-fi setting's story!

Question for me: What's your favorite moment/scene in pokemon emerald and why?

[introduce yourself!]

thank you for sharing about bats; i love learning about new animals! they are cute in an ugly sort of way. i love them.

and i love your art too!! streamer courtney is based, and i know nothing about fnaf but your art for it is so cool. if you ever post about your sci-fi setting, i'd love to know more about it!

as for my favorite scene in emerald, i gotta say i'm a groudon fan so groudon waking up is up there for sure. also the fact that this happens like halfway into the story and then nothing comes of it until the end. what was groudon doing for that time? where were they?? i'm so curious. i'm definitely getting into this in a fic don't worry

that being said, shoutout for introducing multi battles by teaming up with steven at the mossdeep space center, but also i'd like to know why we can't do this with other trainers throughout the game. let me team up with archie to fight maxie and tabitha at mt chimney. let me team up with maxie to fight archie and shelly at seafloor cavern. that would have been so cool. 3/10 missed opportunity

#like groudon's just chilling in the woods or something and then senses kyogre wake up and is like #''oh i have to beat the shit outta this guy'' and starts heading for sootopolis #seriously what were they doing? there are no weird weather reports for that time #(you know like how you track them down in the postgame) #maxie fails so fucking hard he loses a monster the size of a building that creates droughts wherever it goes and #then he can't even track it down afterwards?? come ON man you are KILLING me #god i love emerald but what even is plot. don't get me started on the goddamn rocket fuel thing #i ignore that one because god. what. hwat. what. #like maxie's not doing anything that makes sense like. tracking down groudon to catch it or archie to stop him. #he's just squarely dicking around because we needed to battle him for a THIRD time apparently #what a mess #okay tag novel over #autumn.ask

[incorrectdmp]

Tag Guide

i have finally updated this tag guide are yall proud of me.

General tags:

#quote / incorrect quotes: wowee it’s incorrect quotes its what this blog is for

#meme: it’s memes babey

#dmp/discord murder party: pretty much everything is tagged with this. this is less for blog navigation and more if anyone wants to search dmp on tumblr

#chaos van: sometimes! this blog ISN’T DMP actually!!! once chaos van starts or gets closer to starting i’m probably gonna rebrand this blog to be incorrect chaos van, but for now everything in this tag is Charlie/CG dynamics, and anything that hypothetically fits into the post-canon storyline! shevanigans ensue

#submission: submit stuff! either you or me will tag it as this!

#out of context spoilers: I do these whenever a new episode drops. dont click them if you dont want spoilers for the latest episode

#personal favourite: the best of the best babey. these are my personal favs, i tag em as such for easy access for anyone who wants the funniest content and also find some that are prime content to draw. yes i spell favourite correctly dont @ me

#working week / #camp streamix: sometimes i do quotes with these official aus. go wild. 

Character Tags:

#Murder God: I’ve fixed up the MG tag system because this bitch has 3000 names and we’re going with 3 of em depending on the point in the timeline. #murder god for anything from the in-show timeline, seasons 1-4. #charlie for anything specifically post when she takes on her new name in s4, but the MG tag is there for consistency. #cassie howards SPECIFICALLY for human MG and nothing else. all side b quotes with her fall under this. she changes so drastically as a person and so strongly doesn’t associate herself with cassie howards anymore that i believe it’s only fair to keep these tags entirely separate. 

#Doctor McGillicutty: hwat hwat science man but actually he’s super sad wowee 

#Vincent Reid: gun man take me by the hand lead to to the land mr team dad

#Grace Garden: gosh golly gee grace garden! you’ve sure got a tumblr tag!

#Tommy Gwendolyn: haha cancer arms gamer boy 

#Percy Blackwood: he was told to be there or be square and chose square c:

#Christine Forks: momther ;A;

#Juniper / Juniper NLN /  Junior :  okAY I THINK THIS IS MY FINAL SET OF TAGS FOR THIS FUCKER im gonna openly weep bro is perceiving me dont look at meeeee >:( (i love juniper)

#Valencia Lynch: she’s just vibin’ :)

#Thorin Blue: no longer baby, wants power

#Yugo Hernandez: i went to edit these tag descriptions and realized i forgot to unkill yugo. uhhhh insert crimes’ “i never kill characters” statement here. 

#Hailey Huang: TRANS RIGHTS POWER LESBIAN HELL YEAHHHH

#Ezra Crane: big man on caaaaaampus

#Stephen Cutter: pleasant ste :)

i dont have that many quotes for the other cutt men but they were more important to the plot than i originally anticipated so i’m putting them on here

#Guy le Cutaux: the moral of discord murder party is everyone can be redeemed, except the french

#Mr GcMillicutty: the worlds’ sexiest man but like SOMETIMES thats a joke and sometimes it’s not??? how can this man radiate vibes ranging from utterly rancid to weirdly hot to strangely adorable? 

#Chaos God / Ozolthog: the perfectly engineered concoction of tumblr sexyman (alastor), tumblr sexyman (spamton), and Your One Weird Uncle ™ combined with deep moral complexities, in which on this blog of maximum shitposting, the latter tends to be ignored. (both tags will be used for DMP quotes! just ozolthog will be used for chaos van!)

#Cernos / Kadath / Her /  Ælethias / Baku: i really need more black star quotes but like. theyre here, theyre queer, they fill me with much fear 

#Side B (also tagged with individual characters): side b gang gang pls submit more quotes for them i want content

#Zephirah: i had zephi on this blog mostly as a non canon joke but hey she’s actually a chaos van character uhhhh insert v-word joke here

There MAY be quotes on here with masks/minor characters/ reflections. i’m not sure i’ve tagged them all but if youre curious for content specific to one very particular character just search, i can’t guarantee i tagged it though

Fun tags!:

these tags are fun reoccurring trends in my blog, so if you wanna look for a specific kind of thing i tend to post a lot, here’s the tags i currently use:

#modern day adventures: sometimes the awakened from the past learn about modern day stuff. shenanigan ensue

#THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING: valencia and grace certainly have a dynamic. that dynamic is absolute petty hatred of each other. i love it.

#SHUT UP PERCY: this is mostly in a loving way but percy is a fucking dumbass and also is relentlessly bullied a lot

#shipping: perlencia, valezra, murder god and like. five other people. you want shipping content, it’s here!

#orange crayon: juniper and grace just bein’ buds. grace doesnt understand metaphors, and thus, the orange crayon

#group chat au: this is kind of more of a blanket for any quote that includes the awakened texting / mentioning them using phones because canonically they dont have access to that but the dmp twitters exist as well as the group chat au made on the fanserver

#let the child say fuck: thorin should not be allowed to do many of the things they are allowed to do. this makes for peak comedy

#i’ve connected the dots you didn’t connect shit: grace cannot interact with the cutt clan to save her life. makes for great comedy though.

#not quite incorrect: stuff that’s either ungodly in character or stuff that pretty much verbatim happened in canon 

#Requote: I’ve had this blog since like S2. Sometimes I just wanna redo old quotes with new, updated dynamics okay? CONTENT IS HARD

#not a quote #tag guide #sorry no quotes today i spent a long time organizing this and i might have missed stuff

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank�� oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

[internetremix]

Old Tricks

A/N: In which the DMP cast talked about McGillicutty angst and then Kristen wrote about it because she’s mean.

McGillicutty had figured out a number of ways to pass the time in the Void.

Of course, “time” in this case was relative. Time both stood still and sped by here in nowhere, the only true marker being the defined days in which the Murder Games took place. He’d given up on keeping track of his own imprisonment ages ago. There was no sense in it, and while he had plenty of time to waste there were other ways of keeping his mind sharp. Puzzles were one way, though admittedly concocting puzzles for oneself wasn’t the most fruitful of exercises. Still, it was something, and there were theories on the void and experiments and little things he could do.

Most vital, of course, was the careful art of tricking himself into believing all of this helped anything at all and somehow finding new twists on it all. He’d lost most of himself already, his mind was all he had left.

Today was a numbers day- in a sense. Again, days, time, etcetera. The strings which he found himself in made some truly impossible geometry, and working out well… how they worked at could at least while away a few hours. So he counted to himself, pointedly, loudly, just because somewhere out there he knew she could heard the rhythm and it tended to break her concentration.

Unfortunately, today was also a day where apparently that crossed a line. He could probably blame Vincent for that, that boy tended to put her in a mood.

“Let’s see, eight thousand five hundred and thirty three, carry the eight, divide by the imaginary number-”

“How. The fuck. Is a number imaginary?”

Doctor McGillicutty perked up in his bonds, glancing down through thick glasses to catch her glare. “Well, you see, my dear Murder God, imaginary numbers are-”

“Fuck off, I don’t actually care,” She grumbled as she gestured lazily, lowering him to her level.

The drop was a bit sloppy for her, possibly on purpose, jerking white curls from his bun and sending his glasses slightly askew. The motion tickled his face but he’d learned to ignore the minor upsets on the days when he couldn’t get loose enough to deal with them. “Well, I’d say you care somewhat, hwat hwat, or else you wouldn’t be here, hm?”

The Murder God fixed him with a glare that would have made his heart drop into his stomach centuries ago. Now that he’s figured out she was essentially a petulant child, it just looked kind of silly. “You’re right. See, I’m a bit busy, trying to write, and you’re being a bit of a distraction. I could move you further away, but well. I’m stressed, you’re… stressed in a sense, I’m sure you see where this is going.”

“I have a wife, hwat hwat!”

She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, ew, no! Although I mean, yeah, since we’re on the subject…” A slow grin spread across her face. “You do have a wife.”

Snap!

And there was his wife. Cradled in red string, her red hair faded by time but none-the-less still flowing and beautiful to him. Each laugh line is a memory, each freckle the kiss of the sun on her face, her long skirt still flowing as it dangles in the air. Her eyes flutter open, still a brilliant, piercing blue as they come into focus.

“Gilly?” She murmurs.

To McGillicutty’s credit, he very nearly doesn’t react. He stiffens for a moment, then relaxes, lets this sharp burst of tension drain from his body. This game was familiar and he knew every step. Not a problem.

“Now I know, I know,” The Murder God says, rocking back on her heels. “This is an old trick and a bit lazy, I’ll admit. But you know, oldies, goodies, so on and so forth. Why don’t you say hi? It’s been so long, Doctor.”

“Gilly?” His wife repeats, confusion in her tone.

This is not his wife.

She moves as much as she can in her bonds, begins to look around frantically “Gilly, is that you? It’s been so long… w-where are we? Where- what’s going on?”

This is not his wife.

“Gilly- where are we? Where have you been? What’s- please, just tell me what’s going on!”

This is not his wife. He doesn’t need to squeeze his fists anymore, his breathing says level, he does not even shake. He watches impassively as she struggles, listens as her voice grows more frantic.

“Gilly- Doctor, Doctor please, why won’t you say anything!? Please, please talk to me!” She’s afraid, her voice rising in pitch.

“Ah,” The Murder God cuts in. “We’re playing the strong and silent card today. Very cool, very cool, I’m sure the ten people who read my little diversion are going to be very impressed by what a stone cold badass you are.” She rolls golden eyes, reaches out to drum her nails on his skull. He doesn’t even blink.

She’s starting to tear up now, voice growing choked. “Gilly- why aren’t you talking to me? What did she do to you? What’s- why…”

“Oh, I can answer this one! it’s because he doesn’t love you!” The Murder God chirps as she finally moves away from McGillicutty to approach his wife (not his wife).

“W-what…” The woman who is not his wife swallows. “What are you-”

“Sorry, was I not clear before?” The Murder God’s heels stop clicking as she stops before her victim. “He doesn’t love you anymore. No offense meant, of course, he doesn’t love anything anymore! It’s nothing personal, this is just what happens when you lock an already senile old man in the void for a millenia. No big deal, right? Really, I’m not sure he even remembers you.”

“I-I… Gil- Doctor, is that what happened? What… she’s lying, right? You remember me, right?” Tear filled eyes look back to him.

Yes. He remembers she’s not his wife.

“G-Gilly… it’s me! It’s Milly, please, we’ve been together for years, please! We have a son, Junior, remember? Please, he misses you, I miss you, please, you’ve got to remember me!”

Not his wife.

“Please…” Her voice is devolving into sobs now, tears and snot dripping down her face and she’s an absolute mess collapsing in on herself. She sobs brokenly, the sound echoing through the stillness. Her cries do not stop when small fingers twist into her hair, jerk her upward to keep her face on McGillicutty’s.

“What, nothing?” The Murder God asks nonchalantly after a moment. She gives a long, overdramatic sigh. “Darn, I guess I have to resort to violence.”

The strings pull. His wife (not his wife) shrieks as she’s tugged in several different directions, joints creak and pop. Then the strings twist in different directions, forcing her into positions the human body wasn’t meant to be forced in. He knows enough about anatomy to be well aware just how far a human spine is meant to bend, and that’s for someone younger. It’s close, too close, she’s still screaming.

“Is that it?” He asks flatly. “You’ve done this one before.”

The Murder God meets his eyes. “Hm. You’re right. Let’s see. I could go with flaying again? Or burning her alive? Or crushing her, slowly, you get to see her scared eyes while her head’s flattened like a pancake. Or I could break your son in front of both of you again, let you see a life without your kid, watch your marriage fall apart, does that sound fun? More of an emotional thing?”

“Hm,” McGillicutty’s voice is light over the sound of the sobs above him. “Or you could try drowning her.” He watches her flinch. This tidbit Vincent had gathered was useful after all, interesting, but there was no sense in overplaying his hand right now. “At any rate, get on with it. Go ahead, kill her. That’s not my wife.”

A scowl- he’d definitely hit a nerve -but then the smile is back. “Well alright, since you insist.”

Snap!

The strings pull back with a wet squelch, slice into a freckled throat. A familiar body drops to the ground in a twitching, bleeding heap. “G-Gilly…” Her voice is a wet choke, a series of awful, bubbling gasps. He watches her painted nails twitch and go still, impassive.

Clicking echoes through the emptiness as the Murder God crosses the patch of blood on the floor, kneels down to lift the woman’s head up so he can get a look. As she moves, there is a glint of gold spattered crimson. For the first time, his eyes widen and he lets out a gasp.

“Wait…”

Golden eyes widen in mock surprise. “What? Oh, I’m sorry, does something seem familiar?” The Murder God’s voice is singsong as she moves with tenderness to unclasp something from the body. Then she stands, taking a few quick strides before dangling a familiar locket in front of him.

“Oh, right. You gave this to her on your fifteenth anniversary, right? Awww, how sweet. 25 karot too, nice!” His tormentor crooned. He feels his face heat up, feels a prickling at his eyes, unbidden. His breath quickens as her grin widens. “What’s wrong buddy, did I strike a nerve? Did you really think I didn’t know about it? Or maybe I didn’t, maybe this time she’s the real deal.”

He inhales, shaky. She giggles.

“I guess you’ll never know, will you? Ooh, what’s this?” There is wetness running down the left side of his face, she catches it with a dark fingertip. “Oh goodie, it’s even only one tear for maximum drama! I love it!” She’s grinning from pointed ear to pointed ear now as she steps away. “Oooh, I did good this time, damn!” She cackles as she all but dances away from him, swinging the locket with her free hand.

“Alright, I think that’s enough for now. I feel relaxed again, thank you so much for your help, Doctor. You can just spend a bit of quality time with your wife, okay? I’m gonna go find a way to bend reality and frame this for posterity! Ta-ta~”

Her footsteps echo away. As soon as he’s certain she’s out of earshot, McGillicutty’s breath calms. He lets out a sigh, shuffles a bit to adjust himself in his bonds, rocks back and forth lazily in the air. After a moment, in spite of himself, he laughs quietly. He’s gotten pretty good at crying at will- one didn’t go through her games for centuries without getting halfway decent at acting yourself. He didn’t like to break this trick out too often, however, lest she catch on to the fact that it was just another ploy to pacify her.

The only way to really win her games was to indulge her and act like you were playing. Besides, his wife had never had a locket, at the very least not one as cheesy as that.

He takes a look at the strings around him again, tries to get back to the equation he’d been mapping out. He pointedly keeps his gaze upward, does not look at the corpse bleeding out on the white floor.

That was not his wife.

“Eight thousand five hundred and thirty three, carry the eight, divide by the imaginary number…”

#discord murder party #dmp #dr mcgillicutty #murder god #the murder god is pleased #does it count as fanfiction if kristen wrote it #no idea

[horrible-monstrosity]

episode starts with our useless cunt characters standing around faffing about clothes and makeup and inconsequential shit, and showing gendergirl ina sports bra for...... some reason, i don't know nif it was supposed to prove she's a real girl's girl or what but her tits are pitifully small i feel sorry for idol's mom. she's obviously got her own problems but the way she acts towards idol, in the brief time we see her in this scene, makes her seem genuinely decent towards her while idol is just a whiny brat who wants her daddy back for no reason. congrats, i feel even less sympathy for this girl now than ever before!! forced drama huzzah!!! 'wow main isn't a shut-in anymore, so sudden!' calling attention to it doesn't excuse it 'what happened?' bitch i don't fucking know ask the writers. idol randomly declares it kinky because HWAT THE FUCK WHY then idol pulls out a random array of photos of her mom gold digging and asks which one's her father... holy fucking shit this is so astoundingly retarded it's almost funny. i'd laugh if if this show hadn't made me so dead inside. aidoru then INFORMS us that mamma throws fits and says she would have been happier without aidoru even thought we've seen absolutely nothing like that demonstrated. it's acting like it's trying to set aidoru up as a hypocrite, but we're given so little development of the mother that it's impossible to make any connection between these words and the mother, whether that be that they're true or that idol's being a little bitch. there's no room for making the mom subtly flawed, because there's no room for detail at all, and the writers have decided against making her an obvious monster (yet, anyway, though I'd actually be surprised if they portray a woman as genuinely bad as they've implied eagle-sensei to be), so there's just this complete disconnect that makes it hard to, you know, give a fuck one way or the other. By the way, what happens if one of the eggukas commits sudoku themselves, anyway? Will she show up as one of the other girls' statues, or end up in an egg herself? Is there a conflict of interest clause that prevents something like that from happening? Brownie girl, who has no defined personality, tries to be reasonable about it and gets called a goody-two-shoes. She is neither the reasonable one nor the goody-two-shoes one, because she does not have a defined personality aside from beng, like, kind of serious or something. By the way, where the fuck are they again? They seem to just like hanging around is grubby abandoned buildings, which might be a part of the eggland where the mannequin's garden is, but that place apparently exists in real space anyway so they're basically just hanging out in some... abandoned building, somewhere. despite sperging to the group about being nearly murdered by her suicidal little sister, brownie never told gendergirl that she ddn't have any parents, so they can milk that scene for some additional 2deep4u droma idol decides to tell us that she specifically.... fantaises about her daddy...... who told her beautiful girls don't need a wallet (because they can have sugar daddies)....... then she starts crying about i wants so sees him naaaaoooowwww which i can't take the slughtest bit seriously because she just made it sound like she wants to fuck him for money. also she sure is desperate to see a man we've barely heard about up until THIS EXACT EPISODE, huh? Aww, how sweet, despite working hard at the bar to entertain allll these old men, mamma idol managed to get her daughter a delicious birthday cake. Idol doesn't give a shit. coolholy SHIT that turtle's design is terrible. what's with the teeth, the red nose, the random sprout of hair?? it's disgusting! we're given the most LOOK HOW MUCH DRMATIC DEEP IT IS cutting windup ever and it's stopped by the turtle staring dumbly at her. dear god that thying is hideous. why are its teeth fucking DARK GREEN? whoever designed this thing is the one who needs to go cut themselves. shame!! for some reason the turdle ignores her command to go back into the pokeball for a moment. why? i dunno, the mechanics of this have never been explored or developed in the slightest. instead of standing there fucking dumbly, it woulda been nice if it had moved, maybe given her a little poke with its fugly turtle paw, demonstrating that it cared and making it actually matter/giving a reason for idol to put it back in its ball... but like whatever i guess oh and also this entire time we've been cutting back and forth with some random dreamworl battle that could legitimately be taken out entirely without impacting the plot at the moment at the slightest. is the battle before the cutting scene? after? I don't know, fuck you, get emotionally attached and consoom because there's a sad anime girl on-screen and don't ask questions. as usual the dream fight makes no fucking sense, the girl has a burn on her face but her issue is that... a cultist... I... fuck it nothing matters LOL THE EGG GIRL JUST RUSHES UP TO IDOL AND STARTS SPILLING HER BACKSTORY, LITERALLY COOL STORY NO ONE FUCKING CARES BRUH main randomly stops in the middle of whatever fight she's doing and demands to be told what idol's up to, at the exact moment idol decides to off herself because the egg girl said like five words to her about sudoku. why did she know when to ask? what the fuck fight is she doing where she can afford to waste time standing around like this? then everyone else is listening too, i guess we were all just doing fucking nothing today. WHY DID HE GET THROUGH TO HER SO COMPLETELY IS LIKE TEN SECONDS? IS SHE THAT WEAK OR IS THIS SHOW JUST THAT FUCKING STUPID?? She was not having these thoughts before, she was just cutting because she was being pissy about her mom not giving her daddy's dick!! but DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!! ZIP ZOOM CONSOOM CONSOOM!! 'we're all here for yoo~~' but fucking why? she should be creeped out by the fact you were all randomly listening in on her in such a private, fragile moment, even if that moment had no reason to exist. and again what the fUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN BATTLES THAT YOU HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON THIS SHIT?

then the... lizard pops out of its pokeball on its own for no reason. because establishing consistent mechanics, what's that? oh, its because muh 'imprinting', i remember them using that word earlier. totally a get out of writing an actual character arc and coherent storyline free card, cool! and you gotta protect your... mother....... i................ NO YOU DUMB SHIT, YOUR MOTHER IS THE ONE PROTECTING YOU, OR AT THE VERY LEAST SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH HER OLD GOLD DIGGING VICTIMS AGAIN. i almost became a bad piece-of-shit mother uwu like my mother who i hate for no reason even though she raised be just fine and did nothing wrong uwuu and the real moral of this story is that.............. .v . ................... ... ............men who ask women for money are baaaaad. BUT THE OPPOSITE IS JUST FINE AND DANDY, HUH. YOUR GOLD-DIGGING MAMA CAN USE MAN AS A WALLET FOR AS LONG AS SHE LIKES THEN CUT TIES WITH HIM AND PRETEND HE'S THE BAD ONE FOR WANTING SOME EQUITY, BUT THE OPPOSITE IS SOOO BAAAD. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH A CULT LEADER??? where's the fucking writer of this shiw and HOW MUCH WOULD IT FUCKING COST TO HAVE THEM REMOVED FROM THE HUMAN RACE ENTIRELY???? then for some reason the turtle just turns into an electronic beyblade... god fuck this show. and apparently idol comes to the conclusion that cutting herself is..... good....... brownie, despite having said nothing except a generic 'do yuh best' thing, neither for or against the character that supposedly makes her an ungirly goody-two-shoes, because of course she has no character, has reconciled with idol somehow. sigh

[i-dont-want-to-forget-this]

hi i just wanted to talk

i dont really have any sort of direction or reason that i wanted to talk but its 9:30pm and im alone and im in a typey mood and i dont want to just watch more how i met your mother. (im on episode like 17 i was on like 2 this morning thats so embarrassing.) anyways. i should probably watch a disney movie to help fuel the reigniting fire inside of me, but idk it just hasnt happened yet. oh im waking up at like 6am tomorrow morning rip me amiright or amiright. obviously relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. theyre hard. honestly, i know that once one of radk starts dating someone im going to feel the need to be a know it all (WHICH IS SO ANNOYING SUCH A BIG FLAW I HAVE) and be like ok but dont believe all the sweet things they say because boys lie!!!!!!!!! which is true. lets be honest here they do. they say very very sweet things to win over your heart because they want you and they know that saying those things will make you swoon. and it sucks because it will work and youll believe what theyre saying, hell, they may believe what theyre saying at the time but surprise things change sometimes. and thats ok. the world is constantly changing. it jsut reallt really really really sucks when soemthing you thought could be a constant is not. FOR EXAMPLE:::::

1. “camille, listening to you is infinitely more important than this right now,”

which, in his defense, wasn’t a lie. he said right now. but thats not the point the point is that i could have sworn phil laplante would listen to everything. every complaint every hope every dream every belief everything. but we are about to hit 4 months (oh my gosh only 4 months) and i cannot tell you the last time i truly felt listened to by him. which hurts my heart does not hurt my heart as much as:

2. “i love you my dearest, kaibigan, unconditionally.”

i just literally dont believe you. i dont. and heres the thing. tears shed over phil suck/ed. ok. theuy stunk before im sure theyll stink in the future, and it hurts and it sucks but OH ME OH MY IT IS NOTHING. NOTHING IN COMPARISON. TO THE PAIN INFLICTED ON MY BY ONE OF THE LOVES OF MY LIFE. i feel like shes not even mine anymore. is this a dramatized version of camille speaking? probably, but she deserves to have a say too. and it sucks. so much. to feel like youre all alone because the one person you swore would love you no matter hwat you did or what you coujld do would still love you just kind of stops becasue she finds new firends to become obsessed with this sucks because i used to be that new friend. she used to be obsessed with me and thar hurts likea  mother tucker. i think ive developed shades of trust isseus. maybe. id ont really know i jus tknow that it sucks SO MUCH to think of my two favorite people on the planet both being uninterested in me wow that hurts a lot. and it makes me sad to think that i could be someones favorite person on the planet and i ditched them im sorry i dont wantt o make you feel that way but i feel as though i ahve and i am so sorry. THERE IS SO MUCH HURT IN THE WORLD AND THAT SUCKS ASS. A LOT. LIKE A LOT OF ASS. But there are also some beautiful things in the world. things like music. i love music. things like stories. stories are so fascinating. there is constantly something happening on earyh and there is a select few numbers of people who will experience it. 

im rediscovering myself. i lost her somewhere. somewhere in the mix of the kissing and the new bralettes and the frozen fruit snacks and the engieneers and the design projects i left her somewhere. shes out there. or maybe shes in here, tucked away behind a familiar smell. or maybe a new smell. i dont know what she likes. i dont know how to coax her out of me. shes made some appearances, for example when i was scrolling through instagram after that himym episode and it was earthyandy showing off some of her vegan ice cream with 10,000 emerald pools playing it jsut reminded me of humans existing and it was beautiful. and there are shades of her still in me writing this todaybut she doesnt overflow me anymore. which is ok. id rather have her be a little hidden than be garbanzo.

things that hurt:

thinking about the honeymoon phase.

and i know that this is like with God, am i in it for the reward or am i in it for Him? (ive come to discover im still very much in it for the reward i think. i am not the best. but im working on it. am ia ctually working on it. or do i just say that and ignore it. id ont know but i cant afford to put myself through the hurt of telling myself that im doing nothing.) 

but God, like actually God, I miss it.

i miss the romance. i miss feeling like i was floating, like the world was saturated, and my face was hot and things were sweaty in the best way. i miss feeling like i was flying, and like nothing had and ever would hurt me (sidenote, things did hurt.) i miss 

i miss still being pure

thats a rip

i am weak

but its in the past

i dont know if ive actually forgiven myself for that one yet

i feel less disgusting and more loveable than i did previously, which is good.

maybe im not ready fora  relationship.

but when will i be

i need to learn somehow

has phil been perfect?

no!

no he hasnt!!

today he told me “im going to stop replying for a while, dont get offended.”

which.

1. sucks. or well, is odd.

if he had opened and left me on read i wouldnt even flinch

if he just sent back a smiley face id be like lmao, probably send back a bitmoji

but he told me it was going to happen. which is just so weird.

2. i feel like im more offended that he told me to not get offended. dont tell me what to do. which, ok, i realize could be crazy, he jsut doesnt want to hurt my feelings but believe it or not phil its a little late for that its happened and im ok im fine ive forgiven it. i think. maybe. i just want to be there for you and with you and actually scratch that i want you to want me to be there for you and with you. i just dont feel very wanted by you sometimes which, weve discussed before i know that you know that youre not affectionate. or at least not when were in real life and not honeymooning (sidenote i feel like our honeymooning phase was shorter than others were and i find that unfair but whatever.) i signed up for htis. im consciously dating someone that is distant. am i okay with that? i dont want to jsut date boys to feel like im flying though i want us to 

i dont know

i was going to say be a team

but thats what phil says

and i dont want to let him pick these words for me

remember when i wrote that poem about chaos

and how i felt like i was in a storm and i dont know what to hold onto and i was like oh jk i want to hold onto you

yeah

me too

i think im there sitll

and like you said

the storm is inside your brain

and i want to be able to be the one to calm it

but maybe thats not my job

mabye thats a different persons job

maybe it is j=my job but its my job for later

maybe its your job

i dont know

but the idea of youd ating someone else really sucks

like a lot

liek a lot a lot

because i know

i know what the hunt is like now

i can imagine 

all of our friends

sitting somehwre, id ont know

and all the boys are checking out the hot girls around

and maybe im just old fashioned

maybe im still naive

maybe i am still just a noob

but that sucks so much

i dont want to be replaceable with a deli girl

or with ffg

not that theyre bad or anyhting but its the princile of it

that when im gone you jsut go back to sitting in the purple chairs at storms planning how to talk to the next girl

WOW THAT SUCKS

A LOT

THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS FOR GIRLS

And mayb ethats the point

actually i tak that back

im sure thats how it isf or some girls

but phil im not just some girl

phil im the girl that made lauryn hurley feel loved

im the girl that helped bring radk together

im the girl that blew ms crsit away

im the girl that used to look down in the damn hallway but looked up because she liked a boy

i didnt look up because i wanted to see a hot rack with blue eyes and a nice ass

i looked up because i wanted to be noticed

and intriguing

and wanted

and i jsut dont really feel like any of those things by you sometimes

and that hurts a lot

what is the point of this

this just sounds like i dont want to date him anymore

but i do

do i or do i jsut not want change

i do

i think

id ont know

but camille

right now you get the best of both worlds

you get to date him

who is goofy

and smells really good

and is strong

and is hungry for God 

and is grateful

and is

well

i was going to say a good listener

sometimes

but there is so much space between you two becaues this is a time for you

no one but you, camille

you can grow

this is a summer of self improvement.

you lost yourself somewhere and tou dont need anyone to help you find her

thats a lie

who i am is reflected onto me by those around me

but still

i dont need him.

i dont want to need anyone yet

i am young

im still finding out what i want

im still discovering myself

dear God,

i cant do this without you

youre the only one who will love me and satisfy me

“the human world, it’s a mess”

youre right

but thats knida the point

we feel things

we hurt

we love

we lvie

we cry

we laugh

we do all these things

and feel what we think is great

but then when we get to feel you, oh lord, we are blown away.

you are so much greater 

and i am not worthy, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed

im sorry

im sorry for disappearing

and i honestly cant see myself running back soon

which sucks

and i dont know how to fix it

i think i hurt a lot

which is so backwards

but im doing what they say normal people do

am i normal though

no

i literally jsut said im not

God i need you

help me find you

i bet you know how to find me.