#okay tag novel over

[leavingautumn13]

Name: Darksun

Age: adult(tm)

Meaning behind tumblr url: Ghost faced bats are my favorite animal in a "he's so ugly, i love him!" kinda way

Hobbies/Interests: Uhh mostly drawing and writing! I also love playing video games (like fallout and pokemon which initially drew me to your account LOL)

Why you follow me: I love your art SO MUCH! Goals really

Random fact about yourself: biggest OC hoarder in the west. currently working on my sci-fi setting's story!

Question for me: What's your favorite moment/scene in pokemon emerald and why?

[introduce yourself!]

thank you for sharing about bats; i love learning about new animals! they are cute in an ugly sort of way. i love them.

and i love your art too!! streamer courtney is based, and i know nothing about fnaf but your art for it is so cool. if you ever post about your sci-fi setting, i'd love to know more about it!

as for my favorite scene in emerald, i gotta say i'm a groudon fan so groudon waking up is up there for sure. also the fact that this happens like halfway into the story and then nothing comes of it until the end. what was groudon doing for that time? where were they?? i'm so curious. i'm definitely getting into this in a fic don't worry

that being said, shoutout for introducing multi battles by teaming up with steven at the mossdeep space center, but also i'd like to know why we can't do this with other trainers throughout the game. let me team up with archie to fight maxie and tabitha at mt chimney. let me team up with maxie to fight archie and shelly at seafloor cavern. that would have been so cool. 3/10 missed opportunity

#like groudon's just chilling in the woods or something and then senses kyogre wake up and is like #''oh i have to beat the shit outta this guy'' and starts heading for sootopolis #seriously what were they doing? there are no weird weather reports for that time #(you know like how you track them down in the postgame) #maxie fails so fucking hard he loses a monster the size of a building that creates droughts wherever it goes and #then he can't even track it down afterwards?? come ON man you are KILLING me #god i love emerald but what even is plot. don't get me started on the goddamn rocket fuel thing #i ignore that one because god. what. hwat. what. #like maxie's not doing anything that makes sense like. tracking down groudon to catch it or archie to stop him. #he's just squarely dicking around because we needed to battle him for a THIRD time apparently #what a mess #okay tag novel over #autumn.ask

[gregoftom]

i’m speechless

#WELL. I MADE IT TO THE SCENE. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. #tomgreg #succession #i actually am speechless like i had to keep pausing and taking breaths. #WHO SAYS THIS. WHO. UNLESS ITS A LOVE CONFESSION??? IT FEELS LIKE A LOVE CONFESSION. #A SORT OF LAST HURRAH BEFORE HIS LIFE IS OVER???? TOM????????????????? LOOK AT ME #LOOK AT ME. THIS IS??? LIKE. MY LIFE IS OVER SO I MIGHT AS WELL CONFESS I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR GIANT ASS???? SPEAK UP #screaming crying shitting pissing throwing up shovelling sand into my mouth in the hopes i suffocate on it #and the fighting after. is it. is he. is this how he thinks love has to be??? like. he's used to fighting with shiv so now #he thinks that if he's in love they have to fight?? i have too much to say and talk about i really. ugh. #and when greg says he doesn't want to tom gets upset #like it's a rejection #i honestly hate this so much #COUNTRY BOYYYYYYY I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUEEEGUhgnrgv #AND THEN I DONT WANNA EITHER IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!!!!! yeah. uhuh okay. #ik the nero sporus stuff is wack BUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER HELLO?????? HELLO. #but ''i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat'' then do it pussy #sorry ik this is a novel in the tags but holy fuck. i gotta sit down seeya

[mossnrocksnbogwater]

okay do any of my fellow writers out there have such a craving for seeing how people would understand/react and then extrapolate from our original work? Like I don’t want my original work to be popular in the sense that I want that popularity, it’s more that I want the work itself to be popular enough so that I can lurk on the tumblr tag and see people discussing it. Anyone else out here thinking about that? 

#writeblr #novel writing #fandom #? yeah fandom. technically #aiden speaks #okay tags over. goodbye

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force - Bloodline of the Sacred Dragons chapter 2-7

#shining series #shining force #shining force cd #bloodline of the sacred dragons #sf zylo #sf diane #sfcd wendy #i have done this joke about this scene three times already and i'm not above doing it a fourth. super power of team work be upon ye #also this is not just a meme but public service because i know there's people who only look up zylo #and they deserve to know the novel exists #no joke i think the post with zylo's gba dialogue got past 20 notes and i was just like. okay #i do not blame you the man is really great #also sorry for the small spoiler that wendy is there. i needed a third character #and i wish the writer had actually done something with her instead of only revealing she's around when the battle's done #he already lost track of the dog though so dude was clearly melting over the amount of characters #but from this we can extrapolate that wendy was playing with the dog off screen #you know how it is. many bones around #god look. another giant set of tags. i could talk about this battle forever #i should be sleeping and yet

[murdaughter]

@goodjobsport said: "look at us, back where we started."

a sad, crooked smile crosses emily's lips. "we don't have to go in if you don't want to." the pizzeria looms over them, holding a different meaning to her now than she ever could have imagined. it had once been an oasis, then a place of decrepit memories, of fear and family and wistfulness and guilt. but now this is the place that she died. the place where her father killed her. she's alive, sure, but she hadn't been, for a few moments. that counts, she thinks. horribly, it makes her feel better. makes her one of his victims in a way that feels more real. like dying is a rite of passage, like she owes it to the kids, the other victims. and she does. when emily looks inside herself, she knows she does. "i just don't want to bring abby there if..." a deep breath shudders out of her. "if the kids are gone. and if--" she chokes back a wounded sound. when she speaks again, her voice is impossibly small. "if he's there."

it's a fear she rarely acknowledges. with the kids, it's a little easier. the thought of losing them had been painful, but with the pizzeria so completely out of reach, she'd had no hope of seeing them. emily has elected to believe they've been able to move on, to rest. she hopes so dearly that that's true, that they haven't had to be without her, that they aren't in pain. but if her father is there... her only hope is that he went with the suit. that his unfinished business is died to that damned thing and not the place itself.

the police–– the real police–– had been involved while she was comatose. mike had been the one to explain most of it to her; how with the revelations she'd provided about afton's crimes, a more thorough investigation had been carried out. the place was mostly cleared out, but the building still stood and technically belonged to her now. it's been months since the trial, all of which is a blur. it almost feels like everything must have happened to someone else–– not her, not emily, but vanessa. like someone she was in a past life.

standing here, though, it's all too real. back where we started. he isn't kidding.

#for reference! vanessa starts going by emily Officially once she's awake from the coma #she's been kind of crafting the identity around emily for a long time? like it's just her #but it started when she was like in her teens/tweens as like a way to be like this is who i am without my father #if that makes sense? but she will still be okay with mike and abby calling her vanessa #tho they will be among a privileged few #oh god and also rebgurb vanessa is not a real cop in my canon #i just... do not think it scans lmao! #im also just gonna uh. skate over her criminal involvement regbuire. based on some googling im gonna go ahead and say she like? was? let of #which realistically would i think never ever happen bc of the severity of the crimes? but idk idk #this is also tumblr rp so we're just gonna run with it #also im sorry for all this shit in the tags i just feel like its helpful context! #child abuse / #abuse / #dissociation / #just to cover my bases #child death mention / #child death ment / #god sorry for this NOVEL rip #ptsd / #goodjobsport

[sskk-manifesto]

:/

#Ah the arc ending is bad. Okay #Barely any Atsushi this episode this really was the worst so far. But hey it's over <3 #The next episode preview was the best part of the episode lmao. KYOUKA NEXT!!!! KYOUKAAAA #I'm so so excited!!!!! #random rambles #Actually the best part will be going through the tag and read people telling what great bits of the novel the anime missed pfftttt #Not even the opening like??? You're gonna take away from me even the mandatory three seconds of Aktgw screentime per episode?????

[new-eyes-extra-colors]

@leavingautumn13 here. a fic snippet for @1-800-hellyeah featuring that deer hunting scene we were talking about, if you are still interested.

tw for animal death, gore, and blood. i cannot stress enough that an animal dies. also, dawn is like, 24 years old in this.

Dawn whistled, short and sharp, and the deer froze as its head jerked up and towards her, ears twitching—

Ori pounced in a perfect arc, flaring her wings at the last second before her talons slammed into the deer’s back. It squealed as its legs buckled under her full weight, and Dawn heard something crack as it hit the ground. The rest of the herd was gone in a heartbeat, bounding up the trail into the forest with white tails erect, sending birds scattering upwards across the clear blue sky.

The deer thrashed, eyes rolling and wide enough that Dawn could see the whites even from here, kicking its legs in a feeble attempt to throw off the gabite on top of it. Ori sank a talon into the back of its neck and her head arched towards its throat.

Dawn looked away.

Something crunched and then splattered.

It wasn’t any different than her sylveon hunting field mice, really. At least the gabite didn’t play with her prey.

Another heartbeat passed, and another, before Dawn could stomach looking down. Ori was standing still, one talon still gripping what was left of the deer’s neck, head tilted in Dawn’s direction but not making eye contact. Waiting for her flock leader. Right.

Dawn stood, noting impassively that her hands were shaking. She slid carefully down the embankment, and stepped around the rapidly widening pool of blood, moving warily toward her gabite. Ori was being remarkably still, and not hissing or booming, which was a good thing. She knew they were a team. Wasn’t going to turn all that ferocity on Dawn.

Ori chirped expectantly, peering at Dawn’s face for approval. Blood slicked her heavy jaw, and scraps of skin dangled from her teeth. Dawn reached out and placed a hand on her head, between her eyes, which squeezed shut. “Good girl,” she said quietly. Ori chirped again.

Now for the hard part.

Dawn untied her satchel, took off her jacket and gloves, and draped them across the low branch of a nearby tree. She rolled up the sleeves of her undershirt and plucked her knife from her belt. Turned it over in her hands. She could do this. Vertical slit from pelvis to breastbone. Let Ori deal with the offal and help crack the ribcage. Pack the body cavity with snow, drag it back to camp with the hide still on. Don’t get blood on your shoes.

Easier said than done.

#i am NOT maintagging this #autumn.fic #fic: ghost lights #tentative title #tw gore #tw animal death #tw blood #pla is great because i get to write scary and violent pokemon fic. as a treat #''dawn dissociates while field dressing a deer'' is a fic concept that would blow 12 year old me's mind #i always wind up aging up the pokemon protags when i write them because children are just not that relatable #to me anyway. at least not in long form fanfic #''you look about 15'' fuck off cyllene arceus isn't sending a teenager to fix their stalker/fractured spacetime problem #they ARE sending their most special little girl though #hc is that dawn kind of trips and falls into being arceus' ''chosen one'' or whatever #and keeps getting tasked with fixing just. the most buckwild reality breaking shit imaginable #because they really like her #okay tag novel over ask me about my protag takes kthxbye

[qeyond]

Youtube | Spotify

CW abuse/trauma/ptsd. It's a pretty raw song (both in lyrics and the way Black Dresses preforms their songs) so listen at your own discretion.

This song really speaks so honestly to the deeply self-destructive spiralling for B, in my opinion. Speaking politeness through your gritted teeth with a lying softness, boiling over, letting it out, feeling it on your bared, snarling teeth, breathing out smoke, "is it me? am I the problem? am I the evil monster?", "its always been me", spitting up blood, biting the hand that feeds and ripping them the fuck to shreds to be left alone.

Lyrics under the cut.

Why thank you for your opinion What you think is so important So let's talk this out i love it You're so funny i hope you're doing well Thank god for the tongue in your mouth I'm so happy i'm so lucky I get to do whatever i can be myself But you know what? I have zero tolerance for Bad little shitheads Who only seem to fuck around

Same shit different day You need to fuck off you need to go away I don't wanna talk about it That's all that I came to say Get out of my space You worthless fucking fuckface

Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Hey bitch, what the fuck's going on? Is this how you wanna spend the Last few years of your life? Of your life? The last few years your legacy Your legacy your legacy your

You can hide out in your tiny little lair You can be the fucking evil monster terror Scared you can be the evil monster It was always you it was always you It was always you it was always you It was always you

It was always something I couldn't be That was just outside reality It was always something I couldn't know That I didn't know that I shouldn't show Because everything around me Felt just like a bad dream It was all or nothing Be the kind of person you hate or be

Hated for the things that you Thought were common sense Just a little further One day it will make sense Hold yourself a little tighter Your innocence

Preyed upon and vilified by Your blood and friends

Who am I if I can't assign a Name and place to what this is? Everything that's mine feels rotten from The touch of it everything all the time is a Message that I shouldn't be Who the fuck are you? Stay the fuck away from me

I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me I want to live but all the years That came before won't let me be I want to love myself but Memories are killing me Memories are killing me Memories are killing me it hurts

#q music #trigger warning #abuse #ptsd #trauma #assault #im not really sure what to tag this cuz it can be a genuinely very triggering piece. so please genuinely just tread lightly #anyway ive actually had this in my drafts for 2 months and been sitting on it but listened to this song again and just fucking christ- #i just love it so much im so upset black dresses probably wont be making music anymore because of harassment cuz their work is SO HONEST!!! #anyway uhm this song is so deeply B-core #your 'legacy' your 'legacy' YOUR 'LEGACY' YOUR- #i genuinely ALWAYS feel so nervous to share such obviously deeply emotional and trauma-based songs or art and being like 'hehe my blorbo' #because I KNOW how that looks and I know how deeply that feels like im making light of it or making it an Aesthetic. cuz yall dont know me #and thats okay. thats just how it is i dont expect ppl to know me or my intentions through and through #but I really really hope people understand that my doing posts like this is very much coming from a place where its For Me too #like i deeply connected to this song so wrapping it up and giving that to B makes me feel not so bad <3 #B is my lil guy that I dump my problems on and we hug each other as the storm passes over us both and then we're okay again #B kinnies and fictives and lovers we're all holding hands from knowing and I love you deeply #i have a MILLION thoughts on this for B. like i could write you a whole novel about this song but also iykyk. and thats just for Us. #so anyway im over explaining myself as always ah. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SONG AS DEEPLY AS I DO <3 #if i was going to make a new amv for B I would use this song. but im retired and the idea of trying to find a cracked sony vegas hurts me #LOL #also this is ok to reblog and/or interact with if youd like <3

[bucketofcrows]

okay so i played through the first two Zero Escape games and i have mixed feelings about them. but then i start playing the third game and it’s like. how did they drop the ball on character designs so hard. the designs in the first two were pretty good but how did they end up with the most generic looking cast of characters for the third game

#i'm guessing that it's probably the game directors trying to be ~cool and hip~ by doing a more 'modern' style #rather than the people who were designing the characters themselves #and it's not like the designs in the first two games were perfect either #like Alice Lotus and VLR Clover are probably the biggest offenders #i don't feel i need to justify since they are so incredibly sexualized #especially bad with clover (you cannot convince me she is 21 that is a child) and alice (exoticism) #also i think clover's palette in the first game was a bit off but that;s much more of a nitpick #but oh my god the third game is just so unengaging #also from a gameplay perspective it's incredibly unengaging as well #i get it's a visual novel but forcing it to essentially be Cutscenes: The Game with no way to manually forward text just sucks #like not only am i forced to play at a certain pace but even the act of pressing someting to advance text was a layer of interactivity #and i'd be more okay with that if it was more visually interesting but it's not #also you're telling me that *that's* what junpei akane phi and sigma look like??? #where is the flavor. #redesigns are one thing but oh my god. those are atrocious #anyways tag rant over #zero escape #zero escape 999 #zero escape virtue's last reward #zero time dilemma #zero escape zero time dilemma

[overelegantstranger]

been reading a run of horror/thriller novels lately. i've specifically been looking for ones that aren't too intense, ones that are a bit generic or not intended to be especially earthshattering. and i've been largely enjoying it, but, for anyone else who also enjoys reading horror/supernaturaly thrillers, i just wanna stake a quick red flag over J. H. Markert's The Nightmare Man. Not gonna say "don't read". however. AM going to say two things: thought it was a first novel until i saw the six other titles at the back; was astonished at the amount of gratuitous ableism throughout. Also felt it was a bit racist and sexist but not in an overt way, in a nagging uncomfy way.

#details in tags bc i hate to openly hate on things #please allow me this sotto vocce bitching #so 1: the first novel thing. #i noticed a few typos - more than normal - and there were a lot of extremely confusing sentences that i felt an editor should have caught #there were a lot of just Off phrasings #and very little concrete character descriptions and connective action descriptions #so a lot of things were like - oh that happened already? #the plot was also really oddly paced and overly complex #the worldbuilding was also dripped in a way that was like. just uneven #so on that level i was just feeling like it's Okay but just not experienced #2. the ableism #so there's a central background semi-villanous psychiatrist who builds an asylum. #that CAN be done less horribly #i lately read the children on the hill which had the same conceit but was much more sympathetic #anyway. the portrayal of the many mentally ill (actually possessed by nightmares) people we encounterer was so ridiculously flat and cliche #like. to a point that was distinctly uncomfortable over and above the inherent bullshit #because these were. people who were literally supernaturally not in control of their actions. and they were described so animalistically #with ZERO sympathy #except for one woman who was young and hot and whose ridealong nightmare demon just seduced married men rather than kill anyone #and then the ultimate villain came from a deeply toxic family environment and was like the most stereotypical #bad criminal minds episode quote unquote psychopath #and there was ZERO narrative reflection on anything - the kid was just born evil apparently #the father of that kid also had a limb difference and a cleft palate and there was like. so much made of this #but nothing done with it except the guy's wife was cheating on him with his dad #and the narrative essentially justified it bc of this guy's differences #it was just sort of like. a really bad criminal minds episode meets arkham asylum meets what i think nightmare on elm street is about #it was also just blandly racist and sexist #ran out of tags. know i am fuming.

[princessithaca]

just finished the rwrb movie. i feel like i've been lobotmised. jesus christ

#guess me and bea are matching then since she was also missing her entire brain and personality #my dash appears to be enjoying this film and i don't wanna piss on all of your parades so im just gonna go. #somewhere else #something something the first book i read after the death of my father that understood where i was coming from written by casey shortly #after the death of their own #and the movie adaptation that cared absolutely zero percent about that aspect of the novel #the shredding of the women and the removal of henry's grief + depression. those are the two things i just. cannot get over actually #ooft okay it's just a film it's whatever i still have the book. im going to bed. #iona.txt #not gonna tag that cause im not a moron i don't want yelling down

[wander-over-the-words]

Y’all ever read a book that’s super relevant to your interests and it’s actually really good, but it just has such a disappointing ending and you just kinda sit there afterwards like

well

#wandering over the words #finished a crime novel earlier #had me hooked #and then dropped me right off #of all the hints it gave. the killer was this one random background character in a scene everyone forgot about #and not in like a clever ''ohhhhh'' way. just like. a ''wait what??'' kind of way #killer I saw coming but even then it was like. his character did a fuckin 180 and it was like??? what???? #never got a reason why he was the killer btw!! #and then the book kinda just!! ended!! #the lady and the detective had a kinda sorta romance!! #fuck knows!! #book was like ''crime over okay byyyyee'' #none of the personal plotlines got sorted!! #it was like! story's over you can close the book now! #random ass scene at the end that felt like the author was saying ''I just wanted to include this somewhere idk'' #God!! #lady did a fuckin 180 partway through the book too! just dropped her trust issues I guess! #damn! I might actually write something out of spite! #I was so looking forward to this book too! #* can't be bothered to retract my tags but. clarification: there were two killers. kind of. sort of. one killer and one boss but whatever

[delphi-dreamin]

No better way to get more comfortable than to practice >.>

Listen. I have been practicing! I've just been keeping it to myself until I'm happier with it! Also...I only write in the first or third person. Neither of which are super popular in the OM fandom...

#i'm just super self-conscious with my writing okay? #exactly three of my fics have gotten more than two notes on here #and those aren't even three of my favorites #i feel like rolling over and giving up sometimes #but i mostly write for myself #so i keep writing #and posting #knowing it'll flop #*sigh* #my WIP folder is massive though #i'm writing a novel in these damn tags

[supaara]

tbh, super fucked up of yen press to have stopped printing the earlier volumes of baccano by the time i developed brainrot for it ://// feels like a personal attack on me :////

#baccano #okay but like actually the hardcover volumes of 4 and 6 were published in 2017 #i should NOT have to pay $200 for one of them lmao #like the series isnt even over yet at least wait until it ends to scrap printing for them all #yen press my beloathed #jess reads manga #<- light novels not manga but im using this tag anyways im sorry

[memorydragon]

Spoilers ahead. Confusing spoilers if you haven't started the novel, but if you're half-way through please scroll past.

So when I say this scene is what drove me mental years ago back when I first started reading Po Yun and Tun Hai, that reading it again even after so many years still made me feral. This was the Ride or Die moment that never left while translations were dropped and disappearing. Please understand when I say that reading again after reading the whole novel makes me 10x more feral than before. That is not an exaggeration. I am 100% not okay and these are crying in the club hours. F̴̻̹̊͑̉̿e̵̘̠͈͗ͅr̶̞̠͍̮̓̊͠ā̶͈̹̅̓͠ḻ̵͓̏͑͘.

Because Wu Yu's long, long panic attack, because when he's finally able to come up for air when the waves recede just the slightest, he's pushed back down again and again, because his 'safe' person has been taken away.

Because this 'elite' who had an easy life, just admitted he'd been dragged from the fire when he was nine years old after his parents were murdered in front of him. This person who wants to take him out of this hell and pull him back, who should be safe, is covering Wu Yu with his whole body, cradling his head and covering his eyes as a ruthless mob decends on them. Because this shouldn't be happening again - but death follows behind him mercilessly cutting everyone down but leaving him. Because dying is easy living is more difficult. Bu Chonghua's blood is on his face and this person should be safe but keeping their promise requires sacrifice. Please don't promise any more.

(Bu Chonghua was supposed to run. He was supposed to leave Wu Yu to deal with the mob. But if he'd done that, people would have died, and it probably wouldn't be Wu Yu, and he'd promised to pull Wu Yu back from this abyss. He wouldn't let the rage of the mob swallow Wu Yu like a wave, dragging him back under. As they beat him, he cradle's Wu Yu's head and covers his eyes, because he won't give Wu Yu up, not to the ocean or to fire, and I'm so fucking Normal about this.)

Liao Gang sees Wu Yu at the hospital and knows something is wrong. Something is off, this is not the meek and submissive Wu Yu they've met for these past few months. He correctly pulls Wu Yu aside and instead of admonishing him to go get checked over, he says 'hey, why don't you get checked out by the hospital because someone needs to look after Captain Bu tonight. If you let them patch you up, you'll be put with the captain.' And Wu Yu finally - finally relents and allows the hospital staff to look him over.

When the lights are off and he can't sleep because there's no light he tries to trace over the current Bu Chonghua with the memory of the child he'd saved in the past, and he can't sleep but he can finally breathe. Now he can agree that Bu Chonghua and Zhang Boming are different, that Bu Chonghua isn't just an elite who sends his subordinates to death for greater glory, but someone who wants to pull him back. (And I'm putting it more politely. I honestly love that Wu Yu is still sort of cursing Bu Chonghua out when he says this, because of course he is, and Bu Chonghua is immediately gonna chew him out for smoking. I love Them.)

But when he wakes up, Bu Chonghua is gone. The hospital bed is empty and cold, and there's a committee of directors who have come to question him. He asks where his safe person Bu Chonghua is, but they put him off, saying they just want to ask a few questions. Bu Chonghua has been isolated because there's been a death - death always follows him - and they're pushing the blame on him and Bu Chonghua. Why did Zhang Boming jump to his death? What did you say to him? Why did you survive? What right do you have to survive? He'll take all the blame on himself. He was the one who killed the suspect, Bu Chonghua didn't hurt any of the mob. It was him, it was all him, and what right do you have to speak about loyalty and sacrifice, when the hospital report on their injuries is right in front of you. They assume Wu Yu will see this is just a formality, but he doesn't have the frame of reference they knew he should It wasn't him with that frame of reference, he never had one and he lashes out. They're caging him, blaming him again, and what right do you have to talk about loyalty to someone who is on the front lines?

What right do you have to come back? What right do you have to survive?

After they sedate him and bring him back, leaving him in confinement (there's a bed, his wounds have been dressed, and there's even a tv and above average food left out for him. It's a plush confinement, only for one night. They think they're going easy on him and he should be grateful, because no one told them he's panicking and has been in danger undercover his whole life for twelve years and he hasn't been able to handle eating meat since he was a child. The lights are off when he wakes up, and he's alone. The lights are off and no one is responding when he asks them to turn on the lights. No one is there when he's progressively slipping back under the waves of panic. And when he lifts the lid on the food, all he can smell is meat.

He bites his own finger, trying to wash it out with the smell of the disinfectant from his wounds and blood, but he can still smell the meat that he spilt in his own revulsion and the lights are still off. (Wu Yu, little fish, I'm not blaming you, but please, please learn to talk about your triggers and let people know so they can accommodate you, because they would actually like to accommodate you and you're not weak because you have ptsd, you're breaking our hearts. Also, as an aside, Song Ping is actually quite hilarious in this fight. He's not to blame either, but he's making things so much worse and I love that Bu Chonghua has to yell at both of them to calm down because they're both set off on his sake)

And when someone finally comes, finally turns on the lights, they're blaming him. Look how you're acting! You're acting like a spoiled child when we've sacrifed been so nice to you! We've brought you back here, to this place you've worked for several months, your new home!

Except he never came back.

He was never brought back.

He was sacrificed for to catch the criminal. He died because his life was less important than catching someone on the wrong side of the law.

He was never asked if he wanted this sacrifice. He never wanted to be a cop. Who is Wu Yu? He's never had a name. Let him go, let him go - let him go!

He was never brought back. He never came back - Zhang Boming made the correct choice, but he never came back. The sacrifice was chosen, the promise was paid. Why did he survive? What right did Wu Yu have to survive when we he never came back.

"Wu Yu!"

He never came back.

"It's me. Okay, calm down." Someone restraining him, and he struggles automatically, but slowly stops. "It's me, Wu Yu. It's me. Just calm down."

Bu Chonghua came back. Held him above the water untll he could catch his breath. And finally, finally...

The boy left his own blood on Bu Chonghua's cheek, disappearing for twenty years, leaving only one command - Survive.

"I arrived late."

"I was just a little worried. It wasn't very late." It wasn't his whole life twelve years. It was only one nightmare. You pulled me back.

The boy who rushed off to save a child he didn't know finally appeared before Bu Chonghua again. He came back.

He came back.

#Swallowing the Seas #Huai Shang #This is Mem's life #meta and things #if you're wondering who the fuck is narrating that's intentional actually. #it's meant to be messy #because I'm completely feral over these trauma kittens #And if you are sitting there thinking wow Mem You're insane #I should stay away from these novels for my own sake #you're probably not wrong. #But if you decide to jump in anyway and join me in my insanity #check the tags on novel updates and if you're uncertain feel free to ask me about any of them #but please join me #I will shout to the void #and I'll keep shouting until I've finally dragged some of you down with me #and probably shout a bit more after that because I'm so not okay about Them #These are crying over trauma kittens hours in the club hours rn #I am really not lying when I said it's making me ten times more feral now that I've already read it #It's so much worse when you know #and I'm Normal about this

[starrrdrop]

Guess who accidentally wrote 520 words over a span of 14 paragraphs that resulted in the main antag going from your regular local murderer to an abusive asshole

#writing stuff #writing things #my writing #He really went from “oh no people like my sister more this isn't fair :(” #To "okay now she's a traitor of the capital #To “shit I have a younger sibling now who looks exactly like her what do I do?” #This wasn't even in the original plan for my story #It's like they just took over my body and started writing #And now the mc is an asshole #Oops #This was supposed to be a happy story #Not anymore apparently #Okay back to regular tags #fantasy world #fantasy #original character #original characters #my ocs #oc stuff #fantasy novel #fantasy writing #starrbeezspeaks