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mssapphire · 4 years

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The Midnight Gospel and the search for Truth: or How the Emperor is actually naked.

So, I watched The Midnight Gospel yesterday and, unsurprisingly, it wrecked me. Now that I am more calm and that I have finally stopped crying, I thought about giving my take on it before I get too lost in detail. Before I decide to go on full researcher mode and learn every little thing there is to learn about it. And before I decide to watch it a second time and take notes. I first watched the show only knowing Pendleton Ward was behind it and nothing more. I hadn’t watched any trailers, I had no idea it was based off of podcasts, or what the theme was going to be. So I discovered what the show was about as I watched it. Here’s my take.

The show follows Clancy’s spiritual and literal cosmic journey throughout different planets that are going through some sort of mass Apocalypses. And without even telling you, the very meta-framing of the show is introducing you to your first theme: it’s not about Clancy’s random roaming through space and time - but about how he chooses specific subjects to interview. And, thus, they’re exploring the idea of interdependency.

This basically means that humans are required to form a network of support and connection in order to grow. No one is supposed to entirely depend on others, nor we are meant to do things entirely by ourselves - but our journey lies in the bonds we build with other people. Even more so, it reflects back on Heraclitus’ original teachings that "no man ever steps in the same river twice" as well on the idea that everything flows (aka Panta rhei). Which is an idea that has been recycled infinite times to say that every time you have significant experiences and you connect with someone through their personal history - you are changed forever. And, in a sense, it’s like this indelible influence they have on you will always stay with you and, thus, you will always carry a little bit of them with you.

And as you dive deeper into Clancy’s journey, you explore many different ways for him to understand his own spiritual journey. You know little as to why he’s on a spiritual journey - but you do get some glimpses of him trying to run away from a life that doesn’t make him happy, and literally trying to find his place in the universe.

This desire, this compulsion, is what fuels him to explore so many different avenues. It’s interesting that the first episode of the show is an explicit conversation about drugs and the relationship we have with substances. Something, which, btw, is also the aesthetic theme of the entire show with its psychedelic style and color palette. And here’s the second covert theme they’re introducing us to: escapism.

And it’s not just drugs - but how far into ontological theory, spiritual philosophy and ritual we’re willing to go to find spiritual truths. It’s about an overwhelming urge to find “the truth” outside of us. It’s on how Clancy is constantly having to look at others in his environment (legit authorities or not in the real world outside of the show) for some guidance. It’s like Clancy is silently screaming: please, someone, anyone, tell me what to believe or how to think, because I’m not sure about anything anymore. And this need is what drives him to listen to everyone equally - regardless of his own spiritual needs. Because in his aimlessness, anything and everything seems like an equally valid guide. So he gets lost in abstraction and form, to the point where he hasn’t come a step closer to finding himself. Which is not something bad, btw. We all need to get lost and abstracted in order to find ourselves again.

And it’s in that very last episode where he does just that. Mouse of Silver is different from all the other episodes from the beginning. I was somewhat listening to it absentmindedly (my eyes distracted with something else and not fixed on the screen), and the second I heard the voice of Clancy’s mom for the first time, it instantly felt different. And it took me almost 5 hours to get through the +20 minute episode. Because it felt too real. There was real intimacy in that conversation - you could just tell. I had to google some information because the episode was an excruciating emotional experience - and that’s how I found out Duncan Trussell was actually talking to his mom (Deneen Fendig)... who did die in 2013.

And that’s how you get to the third important theme and, imho, the actual lesson of the entire show (or at least season): the truth is in you, always. After traveling around so many planets, after talking to so many people, after looking for the truth in so many different places, of getting lost in abstraction and exotic teachings - Clancy’s greatest lesson comes from his mother. Through the deep emotional bond they have, Clancy does the most growing he ever has done. And it’s not an easy one. It’s extremely painful and raw. He’s listening to his dying mother talk about death, and love, and about being present with the people you love. But it’s through the most simple and basic interaction that he gets the closest to the truth.

Because truth is not something you find in books. Or in rituals. Or in dogma. Truth is what you find when you look inside. That very conversation with his mother is forcing him to take a good look at himself and face all the emotions and issues he’s been running away from. By admitting to the truth that his mother is dying, he has no other option but to look at his own pain and sense of loss in the eye and deal with it. He has to look at his own broken heart and grief, now knowing that the only thing you can do about pain is to go through it. “What do you do about [a heartbreak]?”, he asks his mom - to which she replies a very simple and honest truth: “you cry”. That’s where real growth happens for Clancy.

The Emperor was naked all this time. Clancy was looking for the truth in all the wrong places. But he needed to do this search, so he could understand that the only place he really had to go was inward.

Much like the witches of Discworld teach us: the truth is simple. You don’t need all that jometry to do magic. Because actual magic comes from within - and actual power comes from a deep commitment to the truth. Or like Dr. Drew says on the first episode: it’s about “accepting and perceiving and dealing with reality on reality’s terms”.

Real truth, real growth, real happiness will come from an integral relationship with yourself - which will allow you to create solid bonds and connections with other people, based on love. And it’s that love and those relationships what will guide you through life.

And even if you get a little bit lost sometimes, and you’re not sure where to go, they will always serve as beacons of light. So you can always find your way back home.

#the midnight gospel #Very long but also very good post

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