#i mean how could you trust anybody after your own sister and fiance did that to you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wtffundiefamilies · 3 years

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This is from 2013, but holy hell I hope Anna finds it. Entirety of the post beneath the cut; it’s both long and not something people should read with no warning. But I wanted to copypaste in case the link goes down one day. It’s insane to me that these “little details” and “clues” are obvious and screaming red flags to people raised in a normal world. (And no, looking at legal porn is not a “red flag” that someone is a child molester. But, like...again, given the circumstances I’m not sure what we’d expect; we all saw what Jessa said.) It’s part one of a series, and it’s amazing just how much this dude sounds like Josh. And how much their “courtship” sounds like Josh and Anna’s.

Part of my mission, my purpose in life, is to educate others about child predators. I’m not here to stir up some kind of crazy hype, but to present the facts and to give you a bit of insight as to what happened in my own life. How was I so blinded to the fact that for forty years I was living with a practicing pedophile? How did I not see the signs? How did I not pick up on something being very wrong with the man I married?

The truth is that I sensed something was wrong even before we got married, but I didn’t listen to my inner being. I didn’t pay attention to those nudgings that something was wrong. Why? Because as a Christian it had been taught to me from little up that people who went to church were good, honest, moral people. I was taught to trust people who said they believed in God and followed His teachings. And, I did just that. I was, unfortunately, one of the most trusting women who ever walked the face of the earth!

Pay attention to this, please! Just because a person tells you that they walk by the teachings of God does not mean it’s true. In fact, the word of God warns us against “wolves in sheep’s clothing”, and I learned first-hand just what that meant. But, it would be years before my eyes were totally opened to this fact. As a bit of background information, I came from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was fourteen, a sister of mine died when she was thirteen, my mother was an alcoholic, and my father was by today’s terms a “dead beat dad.” Needless to say, I longed for a different life, and I prayed constantly that God would send a good, righteous, faithful Christian into my life so that I could build a home on godly principles and a firm foundation.

I worked hard all through high school so that I could go to college. But, I didn’t want to go to just any college. It had to be a Christian college because I sincerely believed that was the only place I would ever meet a Christian man to marry. Because I worked so hard all through high school, I earned a four-year scholarship to a four-year state school. BUT, you guessed it! The idea of finding and marrying a Christian man was so ingrained in my heart and mind by now that I passed up the scholarship and instead went to a very small, two-year Christian College. Little did I know that this one decision would lead to so much heartache for me and for those who are most special in my life — my children. While it’s true that we can’t see around every bend in the road, there are signs and signals along the way. I didn’t pay attention to anyone who tried to talk to me. One thing was on my mind — finding a Christian mate!

Every person wants to feel special, and longs to be told that they stand out among all of the rest. During the summer between my first and second year of college I met a young man who was articulate, bright, funny, witty, and who also told me that I stood out. He was spending the summer at college and so was I. A friendship developed, and even though I was engaged to marry someone else, this young man worked very hard every day to convince me that I was with the wrong person. He pointed out all of the flaws of the man whose ring I was wearing until he finally convinced me to break off the engagement. That’s a story in and of itself — maybe I’ll share that with you another day.

What was a bit strange to me was that the man I would soon marry had a quiet control over me like nobody ever had before. Even though I had low self-esteem I was used to making my own decisions and being very independent. For the first time in my life I found I was reporting my every move to this quiet, shy young man. He told me I was special. He said out of all the girls on campus I was the only one that he thought was pretty and was a true Christian. He told me just what I wanted to hear. It was the word “Christian” that nailed me! I knew he was the one I had been praying about since my youth!

One of the greatest stories my now ex-husband loved to tell was how he spotted me from across campus and said to his roommate, “See that girl? I’m going to marry her.” This was totally absurd because at the time he said that we had not even met! He later told me he would hide and watch me — study me — and he knew my schedule, when I was going to eat, when I’d walk back to campus, when I would go to work. He said, “I knew everything about you. I knew where you were from morning until night. I knew I would marry you.”

Instead of being freaked out and thinking this guy was some kind of stalker psycho, I was flattered. “He chose me.” Out of all of the girls around, he chose me and that again was more evidence of answered prayers. Deep inside, though, was a gnawing feeling that something wasn’t right. He didn’t talk much. And, for a man who said he loved God, he made fun of people in a mean way. He mocked people’s insecurities. Yes, you guessed it! He mocked me on several occasions and I felt like a piece of dirt he had stepped on. He made fun of the size of my nose. He made fun of my feet calling them “hammer head toes.” He made fun of the space I have between my teeth. I cried myself to sleep many, many nights, but still……..he was a Christian man, and he was so nice when we were together in public. He opened the car door for me (it was my car, by the way). He paid the bill when we went out to eat and left a nice tip. (It was my money that he used.) He talked me into giving him my car (which I had since I was 16) and I found myself asking him for permission to use my own car. This was really weird!

Why did I put up with it? Why does anybody put up with abuse? Because they’ve been so used to being beaten down that they think this is the norm. Please, please — if you’re in a situation like this run for your life!!! This is NOT the way a good relationship works! And, it’s a red flag indicator of many other problems — in my case, it was a big red flag that I was being masterfully manipulated. Groomed to be the wife of a pedophile who was already deeply involved in porn and child sexual molestation!

Learn to listen for “clues” that a decision you’re making might not be right. I had BIG clues that I passed off as “odd”, “not making much sense”, “silly”, or “not that big of a deal.”

Clue 1: For the last four months we dated, my fiance was in Israel doing overseas study. We corresponded by letter only. We were to get married less than one week after he arrived back in the states. In his letters he would write to tell me how he would hide behind the grasses on the beach and watch girls changing out of their clothes and swimming nude. He said he’d skip class and stay there all day. In other words, he was openly telling me he was a “peeping Tom.” This was a test of how far he could manipulate me and I passed with flying colors! I never questioned him about it. Oh, I cried lots, but I never questioned him!

Clue 2: He told me while we were dating that he and one of his cousins spent the summers together and they would steal cartons of cigarettes from stores and sneak out of the house at night and smoke the cigarettes and look at “porn” all night long. Another test! I looked at him quietly but never questioned him. If you want to know the truth — I didn’t even know what porn was!!!!! I had to ask my college roommates. Again, I was being tested. Could he get away with doing things right under my nose? Sure he could. I’d never question a man of God!

Clue 3: He was almost 21 and his favorite job was to “babysit all the little kids at church for free because he loved to give them baths and powder their little butts.” I’m totally sick now as I write these words. Why in heaven’s name didn’t I run from this man? There were so many clues that something was wrong, and I passed them off as being a little odd. Nothing more — just a little bit odd. In fact, I actually thought this was kind of nice. I never saw my father get involved in parenting like that, and I thought, “Wow! This man will make a wonderful father!”

Porn. Lying. Peeping Tom. A young man who loves bathing and powdering little kids. Masterfully manipulating. Gaining the trust of adults. (Church people loved him babysitting their kids!)

I was another one of his victims. I was being set up. I was being groomed I would be the perfect alibi for his continued evil behavior. He was calculating. He studied me. He used me. He used my faith as a means to get what he wanted. He knew what he was doing! His actions were no mistake. He worked very hard to plan every detail.

Listen up everyone! Please don’t do as I did! If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it probably is!!! Pay attention to the little details and the little voice that is whispering something is wrong!!!

This is just the beginning of my story. I will share more in the weeks to come in hopes that others will not be blinded to the facts as I was. We must get educated about child sexual molesters so that we can protect life’s most precious blessings — our children!

Why am I sharing the ugly, sad parts of my life? That’s simple. Because children are beautiful. Children are precious. Children deserve to be protected. Statistics (according to information found here ) tell us that 1 in every 3 girls and 1 in every 6 boys are molested by the age of 18. Please help me to stop this! Let’s get educated! Let’s do all we can to make it incredibly difficult for the molester! Let’s be vigilant on behalf of our children — at all times!!!

Every child should have the ability to grow up feeling safe and loved and whole and pure!

It isn’t easy or comfortable for me to write about this, but I must. I must take this terribleness and do something positive with it. I must work for the safety of our children. Thanks so much for stopping by and for taking the time to read this. Thanks even more for making yourself more aware of what is going on right under our noses — in our schools, our churches, our camps, our homes. Let’s do all we can to work together to make this a safe place for our children!

Love, Clara

#clara hinton #sin in the camp

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mumbal33 · 5 years

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The Warrior Within

Dark, brooding, and burly, one-time badass Ronon Dex has come a long way since he first jumped through the Stargate. Now a trusted member of the Stargate: Atlantis team, Jason Momoa reveals that there’s more to Ronon than just his muscles…

By Byran Cairns, Stargate SG-1/Stargate Atlantis Magazine

Big guy. Big muscles. Big gun. Big attitude. There’s no denying these qualities immediately impressed Stargate: Atlantis viewers about Ronon Dex, a Satedan soldier from the Pegasus Galaxy who was implanted with a tracking device so the life draining Wraith could hunt him down. After easily getting the drop on Lt Col John Sheppard and Teyla Emmagan in the episode Runner, Ronan agreed to help them capture the infected Lt Ford if Dr. Beckett removed the alien mechanism under his skin. Realizing his potential as an ally against the Wraith, Sheppard later invited him to join his team and although they’ve slowly gained his trust and have been a positive influence on him, it has still been a difficult transition.

“To a certain extent, it has,” notes Momoa in his deep, gruff voice. “Ultimately, Ronon is still kind of a loner but has taken direction from Sheppard as long as he thinks it is right. That is the great part about him though. He’s military so he’ll still react and have that instinct within him but at the same time, he’ll still listen to commands.”

Since his inauguration, Ronon has been a key participant on multiple missions and the outings have given him the opportunity to connect with his team mates and adjust to his surroundings.

“Sheppard is Ronon’s commander but to me, he and Teyla are the only ones I can trust,” offers Momoa. “I go to Teyla for everything because Sheppard isn’t big on the emotional things. If I had a problem, I would go to Teyla because we’re both aliens. She’s like my sister. Shep is like my best friend through the whole thing. Weir is just my boss, I don’t know too much about her but at the same time, I respect her. Rodney is the brains and I’m the brawn and it will always be like that between us. I can kick his ass but he’ll outwit me. Beckett saved my life numerous times and in these episodes, you’ll see he’s probably saved me more than anybody. He is someone I trust and Beckett is like a good buddy now.”

The second season concluded with Ronon and McKay captured and cocooned onboard a hive ship awaiting either rescue of imminent doom. Among the Atlantis squad, those two are arguable the most polar opposite as McKay can be annoying and Ronon takes no crap. The unlikely pairing is a guilty pleasure and the new season sees them sharing even more screen time together while engaging in their trademark witty banter and scathing remarks.

“The upcoming Tao of Rodney is really good because there’s stuff where McKay is getting a lot of power and thinks he can beat Ronon,” reveals Momoa. “I’m like ‘Oh yeah? Want to take me on?’ And he’s like ‘Um no.’ It is still very much him eating all the time and me making fat jokes about him, McKay saying I’m not smart enough or I am his big friend with few syllables. He’s been calling me Caveman too and I call him fat ass. He’ll poke jokes at me or I will poke them at him but there’s a mutual respect. When it comes down to it, he’s saved my life and I’ve saved his. I am the Pitt Bull on the show and I can tear anyone apart. If McKay and me are bickering, I would chop somebody’s head off to save him.”

As the muscles on the series, Ronon’s special talent to intimidate, threaten, and kick some serious Wraith butt makes him better suited as a fighter rather than a peacemaker. Unfortunately, such roles can sometimes be limiting to an actor by not providing enough depth and development.

“Well, that is the character and the way he is,” defends Momoa. “You can’t expect him to get real emotional. That’s hard to write for. That is why in Sateda, there is a lot I don’t say but am suffering through. [Robert] Cooper and a lot of the crew guys were coming up and going ‘Wow! That was amazing!’ I don’t necessarily have to say anthing, but that doesn’t mean I’m not acting. As long as there are good things to chew on and you don’t have to ramble off all this mumbo jumbo like McKay. I would never want to say all theat sci fi garbage or Beckett with his doctor terms. I speak through my actions and the way I hold myself. I’m not the way Ronon is in real life so it is still fun to play but it is an an ensemble cast and they write for everyone.”

Luckily, Stargate: Atlantis has no intention of pigeonholing anyone and the talented writing staff has been shattering any preconceived notions by sprinkling juicy nuggets throughout season three for Ronon. The humorous Irresistible was such a case. With Atlantis somehow enthralled by a man named Lucius Lavin, Momoa was thrilled to see his tough guy alterego crack a smile.

“That was great, man,” he enthuses. “The night before, I was talking with my fiance, was a little intoxicated, and she’s making me laugh. I would go ‘Hhon! Hhon! Hhon!’ and it sounds like a motor. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was one of those giggles and the next day, I had to shoot this scene where I’m laughing and we’ve never heard Ronon laugh at all. I thought it would be great to be this big dumb animal and be, ‘‘Hhon! Hhon! Hhon!’. He just has this big, funny, annoying laugh. Irresistible was fun because I got to laugh and be goofy.”

Momoa also appreciated the series shifting from the Wraith-heavy adventures to something more light hearted.

“That is what is great about the show; we don’t take ourselves too seriously,” he admits. “The most serious character on the show is me. In that respect, Joe Flanigan plays the lead so great. He’s this unsung hero. I love the way everyone acts on the show and that it has that comedy element to it.”

However it was the recent Ronon-centric Sateda which truly excited Momoa. Once again, Ronon encounters the Wraith, returns to his home world, exposes his tragic past and vulnerable side while dealing with a dangerous present day threat.

“I had to do so much in Runner and this year, Sateda just blows it all away,” exclaims Momoa. “They finally gave me something to act with. Being an actor, I want dialogue. My guy doesn’t say much, but when he does… Sateda was an amazing episode and worth everything. We shot it as the third episode, it aired as the fourth, and it was like ‘Oh man! Now there’s not going to be anything! The rest of the season is going to suck!’ but it has been really good!”

According to Momoa, Sateda was probably the series’ most ambitious and time consuming production to date.

“Sateda was unreal,” he acknowledges. “I usually do four or five days per episode and if it is every day, it is with the whole group and I have little lines here and there. Sateda was a 12-day shoot when we normally shoot in seven. It was the biggest budget I think we’ve ever had and the most stunts and explosions. We’ve never had that many locations. I was exhausted. We basically shot a full-on movie in 12 days on a movie schedule.”

The experience was further heightened when Executive Producer Robert Copper stepped in to direct the episode.

“Robert was fantastic to work with,” praises Momoa. “I hadn’t talked to much with him before that. He’s a very quiet guy and I never go up to the office unless there is a serious problem. I came with my ideas and when I first met him, they were having a little meeting so I went in and gave him the hugest hug. I had to prove to him that I could act. He was there every scene, if I needed the set to be quiet, he would make sure they were. He gave me my time. Not to float his boat but he is definitely one of the top directors I’ve worked with on the show, let alone my career.”

Not exactly a big talker, Ronon’s right hook or his weapon shoved in your face speaks louder than words. Thankfully, outside of Stargate: Atlantis, Momoa kept in great shape on Baywatch Hawaii and North Shore. Neither series were as physical taxing as playing Ronon yet the gung ho actor immediately embraced that warrior spirit.

“When I was doing Baywatch Hawaii, my cousin was a big toe in surfing and now he’s a full-on stunt coordinator so I’ve done a lot of water stuff that has been pretty heavy in big waves,” says Momoa. “That was the only thing I knew. I had never really been in any fights and my manager is Japanese so I wanted to work with a stick. I basically did that for a bit and watched movies before I got the role. I watched tons of samurai and action movies, studying people’s body movements which is what actors do. I was finding my own way, incorporating them into the role, and listening to Bam Bam who is just a talented artist and can come up with a fight like that [snaps fingers]. We work well together because he’s not, ‘No, do it this way!’ He takes into account what you made for your character and how your body moves.”

For Momoa, that included laying off a previous injury which flared up early.

“I have bad knees, so grappling and going low are very hard for me,” he notes. “Runner just got me because we didn’t have the lighter guns so it was five-plus pounds and it was hammering on my right knee. At the end of the day, you soak in the bath, have some wine, pop some Advil, and you’ll be fine. But we established Ronon isn’t really a kicker and more of a head butt, punch kind of guy. The studio likes it and it is working well. Sateda did rip me apart because I had armor on too.”

Before the SG-1 spin-off geared up, most of the actors reportedly signed a five-year contract. Yet when asked whether he could imagine himself in the series for the long haul, Momoa momentarily pauses.

“Tough call. I don’t know if I would want to play Ronon for five years. Playing a character for four years is a little much for me so I’d like to move on. Ultimately, I’d like to be in movies. It’s kind of up in the air. This was a fantastic role and I’ve never played anything like it but not to expand or try other things would be selling myself short.”

Naturally, Momoa isn’t necessarily vying for those adrenaline charged parts.

“Originally, I did not want to be an action star,” he confirms. “I felt it was a trap I’d get into and it would come easy for me. I’m a pretty coordinated cat. I don’t want to be an action star because I don’t want to limit myself to anything.”

In the meantime, Momoa couldn’t be happier on Stargate: Atlantis. However, with only a handful of episodes to finish, he isn’t prepared to speculate on where Ronon is heading. Yet after adding his two cents on his imposing, dreadlocked character last year, the 27-year-old is hoping to fulfill a growing ambition on the series.

“I’d really like to do a story and have a credit for that,” says Momoa. “If I stay on the show longer, I’d love to do a director’s attachment where you sit down and go through the whole thing with him in post-production. I’d eventually love to be behind the camera, going through the dailies, editing, and enhancing what has been shot. I’d love to do that. Hopefully that may be possible next season.”

#jason momoa aquaman #jasonmomoa #ronon dex #aquaman #stargate atlantis

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little-dragon-stories · 5 years

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Before I leave Part 10

Don’t touch my neck

A fake Text and scenarios serie featuring Kwon Jiyong himself.

After your sister died, you decided to move in Korea to get close to your niece and nephew. That’s where you meet Kwon Jiyong, get to work for him and start to believe hapiness is possible again…

Warning: nothing so bad in this part... except endless pain!

W/C 2690

You have agreed to go shopping only to buy an evening gown since there will be a chic evening, that’s all you ever agreed for. You still don’t understand how you ended up in your hotel room, bed covered by the most beautiful dresses and clothing you have ever had in your life. How much money did he spend on you? You have no idea and you feel dizzy just thinking about it.

After the saleswoman took your measurements he was choosing dresses, clothes and accessories for you.

«Jiyong, I don’t need new pants, you don’t have to buy me any, I have pants»

«I know but I want to treat you, all the woman I know loves to have new clothes, don’t you?»

«That’s beside the point, I don’t want you to spend your money on me. Please oppa, stop it»

«If you don’t want me to spent too much money, you better choose between what I am showing you, otherwise, I will buy them all and you will have to chose at home… Then I will have spend too much money for no reason»

He was unstoppable.

«Look at that dress, it will suits you so well. Oh, those sportswear will be perfect to go for a little walk in the mountain. This bathing suit will be perfect on you. See that skirt? Will match perfectly the shirt we just bought.».

You have to say, everything he was personally choosing for you ended up being perfect for your silhouette. A little voice in your head was telling you that maybe he is buying all this so he won’t be ashamed to present you to his family. That’s why you let him win. He never implied this in any way though, but that doesn’t mean he think any less.

While you were shopping, Jiyong has announced you that the weekend would start thursday night (the day after) until sunday in the evening, that there will be a chic dinner on friday night followed by a dancing evening. For the rest, just quality time with his enlarge family until sunday.

Since you are in an hotel room for a few days, he even brought everything in is house and washed it for you (probably made somebody do it) and just brought it back to you a few hours later, clean and smelling like Jiyong’s clothes.

«Coming to get you tomorrow morning, we’ll eat something on the road. See you tomorrow baby» he said winking and he kissed your cheeks before he leaved.

You hit the road the day after as he told you. He wanted to drive himself to Jeju so together, you crossed Korea from north to south, stopping to eat and rest for time to time. You sang along with him in the car, you had nice and long talk about his and your family, friends and work, he talked a lot about his fans and the way he compose his songs, what influence his music. You were having such a good time, before you could realise it, you were on the boat for the island. After a few hours of traveling, here you are in Jejudo, apparently his favorite place on earth.

The moment you entered in the lobby the hotel run by his parents, you can feel Jiyong’s body tensing. He looked at you and you could see in his eyes he was nervous.

You came close to his ear so nobody could hear you say:

“Jiyong oppa, are you scare they won’t believe us, it’s ok Ji, we will make it work”

“No, that’s not it y/n. I am scare that from now on, you might look at me differently and see me through my mom’s eyes”

You didn’t had the time to asked him what he mean by that, a mature woman was coming your way with a fake smile on her face. You don’t know her, you never saw her in your life but first time your eyes met, you considered her hypocrite and fake.

“Hello my son, you finally came to visit your mother again. That’s a very good thing, I was about to sent you an official invitation”

“Mother” and he bows to her. You follow his gestured and bow yourself.

“Oh, a westerner with manners, I never thought that day would come”

She laughed as she made the most funny joke in the entire universe. You really don’t know how to react in front of her so by reflex, you turned around to see how Jiyong were reacting.

“Mother, my fiance. Y/n, my mom”

Fiance? He never said anything about being fiance.

“I am glad to meet you” you said, bowing again.

“The pleasure is mine young lady. I hope you won’t mind if I don’t get to know you better before a few months, my son had a lot of girlfriends and if I would have lost my time on all of them, we could count in years the time I lost»

“Mother, y/n is the first girlfriend I introduced you to»

“I know, that’s what I am saying. I don’t want to lose my time on them, they come and go, this one will disappear as well, fiance or not”.

You hate this woman with all the cells in your body. To show your support to Jiyong, so he can understand you don’t think a word that she is saying to be true, you get closer to him and took his hand in yours before saying:

“That’s all right. We might wait a year or two, I won’t be insulted, don’t worry”.

She didn’t even took the time to answer you and turned towards Jiyong.

«Son, thanks for covering the tattoos on your arms with longs sleeves. You might also wear a turtleneck tonight, at the table so you can cover that horrible angel on your neck».

«I will consider your opinion mother, y/n come with me, we will go settle down in our room».

Our room.

Of course, you will have to sleep in the same room than him, even though you secretly hoped that his parents will be old-fashioned and forbid you to do so.

As you were about to leave the lobby and go, a smiling old lady and a beautiful young woman who stand arm in arm came to Jiyong and you smiling brightly:

«Halmoeni»

Jiyong take her in his arms as she smiles even brighter as they stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments.

«My favorite grandson, you are so beautiful» she says, cupping Jiyong’s cheeks.

«Halmoni, Noona, I want to present you somebody very precious to me. Here’s y/n, the love of my life, y/n my grand-mother and my sister».

You understood very quickly that with his grandmother and probably with the rest of the family, the conversation will have to be in korean. Gathering your courage, you came close to her and said:

«It’s an honor to meet you, Jiyong talked a lot about the both of you»

«The honor is mine, this is the first time ever my Jiyong brings a girl at home, except for that girl on second grade».

His grandmother took you in her arms and you could see why Ji loves her so much. She is a loveable person, she is welcoming and most of all, when she looks at Jiyong and his sister, there is a lot of love in her eyes, she is proud of them. From your point of view, she is the complete opposite than Jiyong’s mother.

«Halmoeni, we will go settle down in the room and come back to talk to you a little later, there is a lot of things we need to talk about»

«Yes my beautiful Jiyong, let me an hour or two, I need to take a nap. Then I will be all yours for the rest of the day»

He kissed his grand mother and sister on the cheeks, grabbed your hand softly and brought you to your shared room.

You did not imagine anything about this room to be honest. The only thing you know is that this room is intended for its exclusive use but you could tell the second you entered it, he didn’t decorated himself. Everything was pretty, chic and luxurious. It was an amazing room but it was not his signature.

“Jiyong, can you please tell me what’s going on in your mom’s mind? Is she always like that?”

“I am sorry y/n, I had no idea she would be so unpleasant to you»

“God, I understand why you never introduced your girlfriends to her, she could have destroyed your girls in a blink of an eye with her mean words”.

“The truth is, I never loved anybody enough to bring her here, it was not because of my mom. I didn’t want to share this intimacy with anyone before”.

“Ji, you don’t have to act, we are alone here”

“I know we are. But we are friends remember? I am happy to share that intimacy with you. My members came also, they had a lot fun with halmoeni”

“She is loveable. I can see she loves you and your sister so much. If you are such an affectionate person, I think it’s because of her, you certainly didn’t get it from your mom”

“You are right, I had a lot of love by my grandmother and my noona. They were taking care of me more than my own mom”.

“Ji, I am glad you brought me here. Not only because I had nothing better to do but also, because I will get to know you better. But I have to tell you… I am really scared to spend 3 nights in the same bed thanyou. I am petrified”.

“I appreciate your honesty. What is scaring you? You are not scare of me, are you”?

“I… well… it’s….Ji! I don’t really know! Now that I am here facing the bed, I don’t know if I can do it anymore”.

He came closer to you and gently placed his hands on your shoulders caressing your neck with his thumbs.

“Y/n, you know I will never do anything to hurt you, of course you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be here”

With both of your hands, you abruptly took his hands off of you.

“Jiyong, please, don’t touch my neck. I can’t breath when people touch my neck.”

He looked at you with a concerned face.

“Is this related to the forbidden subject?”

You don’t want to lie to him so you just nod silently, not giving him any more detail.

“Y/n, I know you trust me, I have nothing to do with the man who hurts you. May I run a little test? May I try something?”

“I am not sure, what’s on your mind?”

“What part of your neck do you hate the most when people touch”

“Throat, my throat, nobody touches it, I don’t want you to touch it either”

“I promise you that from now on, I will never touch it without permission. Pinky promise”

You smiled at his words.

“What about the side of your neck? Or the back?”

“Ji, just spit it please….”

“I want to touch you there, on the back of your neck. There is nothing dangerous in the back, right? I can’t strangle you or anything… Can you please let me demonstrate something to you? The second you say stop, I will freeze!”

You are being curious of his idea to be honest. Jiyong is so kind, you really doubt he could hurt you, at least physically.

“Ok, but if I say stop, you stop”

“Pinky promess”

You are curious of what is on his mind. But also petrified even though you trust him.

“Y/n, I want you to close your eyes, and tell me when you are ready”

“Ji, I won’t be able to close my eyes if I know you want to touch my neck. Do you understand I almost died for real last time somebody touched it? I am too scared to close my eyes”.

«Nobody touched you there since then? What about your ex-boyfriend?»

«I just said nobody touched my neck in years, I didn’t let anybody do it. Emma and Leo, they wanted to put their little arms around it but I didn’t let them».

“Very good, now that I think about it, it’s even better if you keep your eyes open. You will look at me in the eyes, so that way, you will associate the sensation with me. Ready?”

You answered yes but at the same time you took a step back. He smiled at your hesitation and filled the void between you, reaching his hands out to place his fingers flat on the skin behind your neck, not moving them at all.

“Y/n, it’ me. Look into my eyes, it’s me. You are safe, nobody will hurt you here. See, the touch is not dangerous itself, it’s not hurting you, i am sure it will actually be a nice and sweet caress”

Saying that, he brushes his fingertips, one at the time on your skin, leaving you with a delightful sensation.

“I won’t touch you anywhere else, you don’t have to be scared of me at all. You are safe. How is that? How do you feel?”

You don’t know how you feel to be honest. You are still nervous and uncomfortable but at the same time, you like the sensation on your skin. It’s a new sensation and if you really think about it , it’s one of the most soothing sensation you ever felted. As usual, when you are looking for an answer, you closed your eyes to be able to concentrate on the physical sensation only. You don’t even noticed that you closed your eyes but Jiyong did and he felt like he had won the most prestigious price on earth: your trust.

“I don’t know Ji, I am discovering new sensations.”

“But it’s not uncomfortable or hurting you”?

You smiled and told him no.

“You want me to go a little more on the side now? Maybe behind or under your ears”?

You opened your eyes and nod silently.

He brought his hands on the side of your head but you panicked and asked him to stop right away. He froze instantly when you asked him, taking his hands off your neck to take yours and tighten them.

“I am so proud of you”

«Kwon Jiyong, please don’t talk to me like that, I am not 2 years old you know»

You are so ashamed of yourself… so ashamed that you cannot be like anybody else. Ashamed that you are incapable to act normally, even just pretend to be normal.

“Ji, I am sorry I snapped at you. It’s just, I know I am not an easy person to be with. I am ashamed of myself. I sometimes wish I had died that day, at least I would have stopped suffering right away. Why do I have to be hurted like this, years later oppa? Why?”

You can’t help it, you started to cry and Jiyong made a move to take you in his arms but you stopped him.

«Ji, don’t touch me please. Just don’t. I need to be alone a litte. May I use the bathroom, I might need a shower to calm down»

At this point of your relation, Jiyong knows you enough to know you really mean it when you said you need to be alone. He doesn’t want to leave you like that but he knows it’s the only way for you to calm down.

«Of course, take all the time you need. You want me to get out of the room?»

You can see, he is panicking.

«To be honest, it would be better, but I can’t ask you this…»

«It’s ok, I will go talk with Noona, I will come back in an hour or so. Ok love? You will be ok?»

After you assure him you would be, he went out of the room and you collapse in a corner of the room, crying with your head in your hands.

#gdragon fake texts #gdragon #gdragon x reader #gdragon serie #gdragon scenario #kwon jiyong #kwon jiyong angst #kwon leader #kwon jiyong fluff

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bluntzzz · 7 years

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What do you want for your birthday? I did not want anything, I did not get a lot. I was more than fine with that.

What’s your favorite flavor of tea? Peppermint.

What’s your favorite fall drink? Don't have one.

What’re you going to be for Halloween? Probably nothing.

Do you think you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in the past year? I suppose. Always growing, always learning.

Are you satisfied with how you’ve spent your year? Eh, not really. I spent a lot of time stress eating. I need to spend this year getting healthy.

What’s something you’ve learned lately? Two dogs is exponentially more difficult than one.

Do you have a lot of friends? Sure.

Do you own a yellow scarf? Nope.

Do you own brown shoes? I do.

Do you own anything leopard print? Nope.

Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? Nope. I didn't even have a cake. Which I am fine with, really.

Are you counting down the days until your birthday right now? No.

Are you excited for something currently? Dinner with my love.

If you could change just one thing about your life right now, what would it be? I would have more money.

What’s your favorite color? Brown.

Have you ever been to a school dance? Yes.

Do you make a list of goals at the beginning of each week? Perhaps I should.

Are you artistic? So people tell me.

When was that last time you drew a picture in a sketchbook? Two nights ago.

Is there a tree right outside your bedroom window? Nope.

Is it windy right now where you are? Uh, I think?

Is it raining? Thankfully no.

What’s something about you that makes you different from everyone else? I cook extravagant meals and bake some sweet goods as a hobby. I am still in my twenties.

Do you dress the same way as your peers? Maybe? I don't know. I just wear jeans, Chucks, and some kind of shirt.

Do you talk the same way as your peers? Kind of, in some ways.

Do you have the same life goals as your friends? My friends and I all differ in terms of what we want.

Are you having a good day? I am tired and cold. I am ay work and I have no work to do. It could be better.

Is your hair red? Nope.

Do you like brownies? I don't dislike them, but I don't go out of my way to eat them.

Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? Yes. That was my favorite when I was a kid.

What’s one color that you never wear because it doesn’t look good on you? Red.

Have you ever been to a masquerade? No, but how fun would that be?

Do you eat vegetables? Certainly.

Do you wear leggings? Not really, no. Only if I have a long duster or a long sweater. Something has to be covering my ass.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? Sure.

Who is the most inappropriate person you know? My fiance.

What year in your life do you think you were the least attractive? Does it really matter if you're attractive under the age of 13? It doesn't fucking matter. So never. I mean, in the moment I used to think I was ugly, when I was an insecure teenager.

Did anything bad happen to you in August? Not that I can recall.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? No one.

What was the last movie you watched? With who? I know I watched a movie recently with Will... I just can't remember what it was. Oh well.

Anything you’re avoiding? Eh, not really.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? Money.

If your parents searched your room, would they be angry at what they’d find? They would probably be a bit disgusted at how messy it is. Not that there is a disgusting mess. It's just... clothes everywhere.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I am sure of it, and then some.

Have you given somebody more second chances than you can count? Of course.

After breaking up, what’s the worst? Losing a friend.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? I know they used to. I am not sure anymore.

Are you happier now than you were three months ago? That's hard to say. I measure my happiness by the moment. I am happy now. That is all that matters.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Plans are made to be broken. I try not to plan too much.

Have you done anything sexual today? Nope.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t or won’t? Not that I can think of.

Do you have a second mom? Nope.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nah.

***

Describe your most recent purchase: Coffee, muffin, gasoline.

Did you enjoy the last movie you watched in theatres? Yeah, it was Deadpool. Very awesome.

If you make surveys, where’s the last place you saw a survey made by you on another person’s site? ---

Do you take the subway train often (if your city has one)? No subway.

What shoes did you wear today? Teal Chucks.

Who was the last person to leave you a comment on Facebook? Pfft who fucking knows. I uninstalled that shit.

Does your sibling have a significant other? My brother is married, my sister has a fling of sorts.

When and why is the last time you cried (or at least, shed tears)? Will and I had gotten in an argument.

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? Yeah.

How would you feel if a girl asked your boyfriend out for a drink? Really depends. If it was blatantly a pass, I would not be too happy. Not because I don't trust him, but because there's no point in hanging with someone you know wants in your pants.

Do you use Skype? Used to.

What do your flipflops look like? Strappy black.

Any idea what you want for your next birthday? No.

Describe a poster on your wall. I have a framed Super Smash Bros. poster on the wall of my office. More to come.

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? Not that I know of.

What do you use to remove makeup? Makeup remover wipes. Or I rub my eyes late at night, get all Alice Cooper.

Do you have articles of clothing that are leopard print? No.

Tilt your head up and look straight ahead. Describe what you see. Off white drop ceiling. Blinding flourescent lights.

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? None. I think I have done this survey before. Wtf. I rarely ever do these anymore...

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? With any luck, not for a long time.

Do you think George Clooney is hot? He has his moments where he is being funny and his face doesn't look too round.

Name some models you think are hot. I don't know any models.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? No, but I had a friend who did, and I went with her. It was awkward af.

Have you ever bought a lottery ticket (and even better: won?) I won like $20, ha.

What colour is your keyboard? Black.

Do you keep the plastic/paper/whatever bags after you buy stuff? Enough to fill a small box in my kitchen, then I begin to throw the rest away.

Do you own any high waisted pants? Nope.

What’s the craziest thing you’ll ever do to your hair? Nothing crazy anymore.

Do you know anyone who has two different coloured eyes? Nope.

Does your significant other like the same colour as you do? Yes.

Do you wanna be a pirate or an elf? Elf. Pirates are still human.

Have you ever purchased anything online? NO NEVER HOW DO YOU DO THAT

What’s your favourite classic Disney movie (no, Camp Rock doesn’t count)? I don't know.

Gold or silver accessories? Silver, always.

Would you have minded living in the 18th century? I might not have minded it if I didn't know what the 21st century had to offer. Now that I am here, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? Yeah.

Name all your friends whose name starts with the 4th letter of your first name. Shanna, Shelia, Steve.

What websites do you absolutely have to visit daily (or at least, every time you get to go online)? Nothing. I don't do anything every day.

Have you ever ridden an elephant? Nope.

Where did you get that outfit you’re wearing now? Jeans are from American Eagle, got the tank top from Target, got the duster from Gabe's.

Are you a fan of acrylic nails? No.

***

1. Hey, what’s your name? Kristi.

2. How old were you when you got your first cellphone? 18.

3. Weren’t you just tingling with excitement? No. I did not want a cell phone. I still don't want a cell phone.

4. How many belts do you own? One. I never wear it.

5. If you had to live with one pair of shoes, what would they be? Chuck Taylors. Low top.

6. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. Lust.

7. How about forevers? Forevers? What does that mean? People who stay together "forever"? Or the concept of forever, like time everlasting?

This raises more questions than it provides answers...

8. What’s your comfort food? Food.

9. What do you use your cellphone for, aside texting and calls? Music, emailing, web browsing, time checking, weather, buying dumb shit on the internet, price checking...

10. Did you ever ride a limo? No.

11. Do you use a lot of hair products? No.

12. Creepiest movie ever? If I think about The Descent too much, or The Ring, it will freak me out.

13. Do you ever wonder what your life looks like to someone else’s eyes? Yeah.

14. Have you ever walked into a crowded room and felt so alone? Sure.

15. Did you ever stay up all night? Yes.

16. Do you like cracking your knuckles? I don't like it, particularly.

17. What colour is your car? Dark silver.

18. Did you ever do something you promised yourself not to? Certainly.

19. Didn’t it feel good? Um, that depends.

20. What’s the ‘craziest’ color you dyed your hair? I have dyed my hair every color. Think of a color. My hair has been that color.

21. Do you like paranormal stuff? Uh sure.

22. Do you believe in those? I don't really fully believe in anything other than my personal experience.

23. Do you have a favorite stuff toy? Nope.

24. What’s the most exciting project you were given? I've had plenty of projects.

25. Are you familiar with Polyvore? These fucking old ass surveys. I checked this website out last time I took this, and it was a booty ass website. You should feel bad for promoting it.

26. If so, do you have an account? ---

27. Did you accomplish your New Years Resolutions last year? No.

28. What are you passionate about? I am passionate about a lot of things, especially smoking and playing video games on my comfortable couch.

29. Are you guilty of internet slang? Occasionally.

30. Would you rather be hurt physically or emotionally? It doesn't matter, they both suck.

31. Were you ever truly and completely happy with yourself? Yes.

32. Is your life balanced right now? Always unbalanced. Shake things up, keep it interesting.

33. If you can’t be with the one you love, will you be with the one who loves you? I do love me, even when I am with my love.

34. What’s your favorite scent? I just really like scents. Olfactory is the best.

35. Are/were you forced to believe something you don’t? No. No one should be able to force you to believe something. Belief is something you hold inside, it's a personal relationship. That subject may have been suggested to you, but you chose to believe it.

If you honestly believe you were forced to believe something, you should re-evaluate your life.

36. Are you very dependent on people? No. I like being away from people. I like space.

37. Do you let small things ruin your day? Nah. I can't stay mad very long.

38. Do you over-analyze things? Eh, I might, but I used to let it get to me. I've learned where to put it.

39. Did you ever wonder what life would be in a stranded island? I mean, I guess. I would die, miserably... so there's that.

40. Do you have a good sense of direction? Yeah. I am constantly surprised how many people don't. My friends are always shocked and amazed by my ability to navigate a city I've only been to once.

41. Are you excited for what the future holds for you? In a sense, yes.

#survey #surveys

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