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timewarpagain · 2 years

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I am so sick of people trying to lecture others about being involved/interested in this whole mess. "PaRaSoCiaL ReLaTiOnSHiP" this "Entitlement™️" that, "yeah lol I like the Try Guys but I Don't Get why people care so much about-".

First of all, stop feigning ignorance as if the concept of gossip or community is foreign to you, you just come off as a try hard. I highly doubt you've gone your entire life without engaging in some sort of gossip or news that you heard about but didn't directly involve you. Like yeah we get it you're socially enlightened and Not Like Other Fans.

And you're right to an extent that fans aren't "entitled" to know every detail about a person's personal life. But considering the implications of the rumor (before it had been revealed to be true), the people involved, the fallout, and the very messy way the attempted coverup had been handled by the creative team, it's natural that people would be curious about what's going on. Like, you might have a point if this was some rando on the street or some lesser-known celebrity, or even one of the other Try Guys, but that doesn't really apply here. Ned's whole persona/Brand was built around him being a wholesome man in a group of guys who break down toxic masculinity and don't care about any preconceived notions about what it means to be a guy. Ned unabashedly loving and doting on his wife and child[ren] was a huge part of this. So many times in the media you get men who really seem like they don't care for their wives: the "Ball and Chain", "marriage is terrible", "Wife is a Nag", etc. crap, not to mention the amount of men who think that doing the bare minimum of parenting deserves praise or referring to taking care of their own kids as "babysitting".... but Ned wasn't like that. He outwardly cherished Ariel and their kids and never missed an opportunity to talk about them.

Ned cheating broke that sort of trust that he built with the viewers, destroyed the Wholesome Family Man image he projected, screwed over the Guys and their company, and most importantly hurt Ariel and their kids. And you could make the argument that we shouldn't be surprised by this because we didn't know everything about Ned's home life, and that private relationship issues should stay private, and to an extent I agree. However, that doesn't really work here because of multiple reasons.

If you remember the Paula Deen scandal, it's very similar to what happened here (and before you start screeching at me I'm not saying racism and cheating are the same thing). Paula Deen's image was that of a friendly and warm Southern grandmother, but when it was revealed that she'd used racial slurs in the past, it damaged that image and Food Network had to let her go. Ned's persona of being a devoted husband and caring family man is pretty much destroyed, and retroactively sours all the previous videos with or about Ariel and his kids. Second, he made no attempt to try and hide that he was cheating. He was out in public at a Harry Styles concert for fuck's sake. Did he really think no one would recognize him?

You can bitch and complain about "entitled fans" and "HE DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING" or whatever, but that doesn't apply here. They've marketed their family, marriage, and children into videos, podcasts, books, and shows. You can’t make a career based on people’s investment in your relationship and then beg for privacy when you fuck it up. And considering that they also have a Patreon, I think the viewers have a right to know who they're giving their money to so they can make an informed decision about where it goes.

To add onto that, not only did he cheat on Ariel, but he cheated with an EMPLOYEE that he was the supervisor of, which is a legal and ethical nightmare. And his actions affect nearly everyone: Ariel and the kids, Alex's fiance, the company that now has to do some insane damage control and rebranding, lost his job, and destroyed his friendship with Keith, Zack, and Eugene.

Over a fling.

#The Try Guys #Ned Fulmer #Ariel Fulmer

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motorcyclegirlfriends · 7 years

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Hello. Do you have any points for someone who might be struggling to write Kara? Maybe five base points that are the most important to her personality? I'm struggling but I don't know who to ask for advice. Most of writers I know don't write from her perspective. You don't have to break out power point it can be short. ;)

(Let it be known that there was an immense internal struggle to not immediately create a powerpoint.)

I don’t know if I have five base points, but I can give you a quick (okay, not so quick ((okay, not quick at all))) rundown of how I approach her character.

Core Beliefs

For every character I write, I try to first figure out what their Core Beliefs (harmful ideas a person has about themselves that inform their perception of reality and thus their decisions) are. You can find examples for Core Beliefs here.

For instance, Lena’s Core Belief is likely of Defectiveness (Applicable example thought: “I am inherently a bad person”) and/or Unlovability (ex. “I am incapable of being loved”). She may believe that she is unlovable because she is defective.

Alex’s is likely Responsibility (ex. “I have to do everything perfectly.”)

Kara has the Core Beliefs of Abandonment (ex. “The people I love will leave me”) and Responsibility (ex. “I am responsible for everyone and everything.”).

These things shape the way Kara interacts with the world.

Writing-wise, if you need Kara to do something somewhat irrational for plot, your best bet is to see if there’s a way to connect it to these beliefs.

Need Kara to be cold to someone in a situation where you’d expect compassion, but can’t figure out why she’d end up doing that? Have her fear that they’re going to take someone she loves away.

Need Kara to hide that something is wrong with her even though she’s generally an open person? Have her recognize that the people around her are burdened and feel responsible for keeping them upbeat.

Abandonment

This is why Kara is so tragic of a character. She lost everything as a child, she was left entirely alone, with nothing that she loved remaining. Even the baby she was asked to protect, Kal, was Clark now. A stranger to her.

And now, she lives out her life knowing that—because of the abilities the yellow sun gives her—she’ll outlive everyone she loves. Unless she dies prematurely, she’ll be left alone, again.

Like all Core Beliefs, this trait presents in many different ways.

In season 3, Kara is deep within the throws of her abandonment issues. She’s distancing herself from everything that she loves about Earth (Note—everything other than her Responsibility) because she thinks, “If I love something or someone, I will be abandoned again.”

This is because she was abandoned again in a big way, by someone who reminded her of the life she would have had on Krypton. And she lost him in a way that directly mirrored her core abandonment event—fleeing a planet in a pod, to never see their loved ones again. (Of course, this time, she wasn’t the one to leave. And yet she was still left alone.)

So this is how she reacts when her Core Belief of Abandonment is triggered in an extreme way. This is her at the end of her rope.

It’s not entirely unprecedented (an example of a similar reaction is Kara dumping Adam in season one because she decided that she doesn’t get to have that kind of relationship. She dumped him so she’d never have to lose him) but on an everyday basis, she’s not usually one to push people away when she fears losing them.

The way she copes with those feelings isn’t always healthy, but it’s also not always quite as self-destructive.

She’s often a fixer by nature, a quality you can see also reflected with her Responsibility Core Belief (like when she sees Cat struggling to write Adam a letter and just… takes it upon herself to forge a letter and reunite them, entirely overstepping boundaries).

You can see this in how difficult it was for Kara to refrain from talking to Winn when he was upset that she rejected him. You can see this in how stressed she was at the prospect of waiting for the public’s minds to change after the Red K incident, rather than finding a tangible solution.

When a relationship isn’t right, Kara is most comfortable with talking it out or taking steps to rectify it.

With Alex, we’ve seen Kara be more of a sulker than a fixer, I think because she fears being more of a burden. This is her Responsibility Core Belief playing at odds with her Abandonment Core Belief.

Responsibility

Kara’s last words to her mother, after Alura told her that she’d travel to Earth to look after her baby cousin and that she’d have great powers and do extraordinary things there, were, “I won’t fail Kal-El or you.”

Her last words were a promise to protect Kal-El and to use her powers to be extraordinary—something she obviously defines to mean helping the Earth. She already failed to protect Kal-El, so her only shot at keeping her promise is to help the Earth.

(Also worth noting, I think it’d be a mistake to believe that the only reason Kara is a hero or helps people is because she doesn’t want to fail her mother. I think she’d do the same kind of things if she’d lived a full life on Krypton. But the aspect of it that is a compulsion—

“I can’t help it. When someone needs help, I’ll help them”

—and the aspect of it that warps her worldview negatively—

“This is the reason my mother and father sent me to Earth.”

“They wanted you to live.”

“No, it’s more than that.”

—stems from this event.)

First, notice how Kara’s feelings of Responsibility present within her differently than Alex’s.

This may connect to their differing world views. Kara has an internal locus of control (“I make things happen”), and Alex has somewhat more of an external-leaning locus of control (“things just happen”).

Alex doesn’t believe that she can change everything around her, so therefore she’s not responsible for everything around her.

Kara, ever the optimist, believes that she can do anything, change anything, if she just tries hard enough/is good enough.

Both of them feel responsible for what they can control, but how much they can control, they have different ideas of.

This is why Alex needs her life, work, and Kara’s life to be perfect. Those are the things she’s been tasked with controlling. But she’s not going to sweat it if some rando enemy doesn’t redeem themselves, because it’s outside of her control.

As for Kara, she needs to save everyone, because she thinks that she can save everyone. But she’s also generally better at letting people take care of her than Alex is, something having a loving adoptive family and a birth family/birth culture that values togetherness helped her internalize.

But that doesn’t prevent her from feeling guilt about being a burden from time to time.

Abandonment vs Responsibility

Sometimes these Core Beliefs compliment each other, sometimes they are at odds.

An example of them complimenting each other is an instance of Kara feeling that if she doesn’t save someone (Responsibility) she’ll lose them (Abandonment).

An example of the beliefs being at odds is when she has to choose between losing someone or Doing the Right Thing.

As we can see when Kara expels Mon-El from the planet to save the Earth, Responsibility wins out.

Generally, if Kara has to decide between her responsibility to do the right thing and the possibility of losing someone, she’ll chose doing the right thing.

You might see her choose otherwise—such as when she chooses keeping her secret from Lena to preserve their relationship, knowing that she’d want to know—but I’d argue that she thinks the harm from doing the wrong thing™ is avoidable.

If Kara had to make a choice between for-sure hurting Lena at some point but maintaining their relationship and telling Lena but risking losing her, I think she’d choose to tell her.

Holy SHIT, revelation— Alura represents her Core Belief of Responsibility, Astra represents her Core Belief of Abandonment.

Alura let Krypton die because she wasn’t willing to compromise her values (feeling a responsibility to Do The Right Thing, as opposed to ‘selfishly’ protecting those she loves). From Kara’s point of view, she even let Kara go to Earth on her own because she felt she needed to die with Krypton. She chose duty over love.

Astra, on the other hand, was willing to sacrifice her ideals to save the people she loved (and she certainly phrased it in such a way that it was clearly about saving Kara and her loved ones).

Kara struggles with her mother and aunt’s choices, but ultimately leans toward agreeing with Alura—that her responsibility to do the right thing trumps her own feelings for what she wants in her life.

Even when she considers Astra’s point of view, it’s within the context of “But was she right?”

Kara often puts what she wants within the context of morality (because she’s a Hero™ and has a responsibility to be Good) in order to make a decision.

Cat is a great mentor for Kara, because she allows her to see that sometimes what Kara thinks is the selfish answer is also the right thing to do.

For instance, Cat convinces Kara that it’s okay to try to save her friends and risk losing an opportunity to ensure the safety of the planet, not by appealing to Kara’s love for them or by telling her that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, but by making an argument for the morality of protecting her friends. She convinces her that love is a value, something to protect, and that it’s Right to choose it.

If Kara hadn’t been given an argument that suggested that it was her responsibility as a hero to protect love as a value, her fear of losing her loved ones would not have been enough to make her risk the safety of the world.

Also something to remember: sometimes her need to save everyone can hinder her actual ability to save everyone. (Such as when she threatened the fate of Earth by stalling the destruction of the Daxamite ship so that she could try to save Rhea’s soul for the 100th time.)

This ties back into her external locus of control. She really believes that she can do it, change everyone. It’s a blessing and a curse.

Her sheer willpower to create change creates a surprising amount of success. She seems to win more than she loses in this regard. But if she does lose, and she is capable of losing in a big way.

Other Qualities

On the other side of the coin that has Kara’s belief that she can change everyone is her belief that everyone is changeable. “She’s been here 12 years, and still thinks deep down everyone is as good as she is.”

She’s optimistic as hell about most things, but some days it’s a choice more than an instinct.

She’s a naturally “sunny” person in general, but sometimes it’s more work than she lets on.

Her difficulty lying seems to stem from how open she is instinctually. Most of her slip-ups are because she straight-up forgets that she has to keep some things to herself.

If she is consciously trying to lie, however, she’s actually rather good (see: her fooling Mr. Mxyzptlk and Mon-El). It’s when Kara isn’t thinking about keeping a secret, or when she has to lie on the spot, where she has trouble.

Of course, this does not apply to her ability to seem happy. That fake smile reaches her eyes, yo.

But there is a question of if this is actually Kara feeling one way and making her face tell a different story, or if there’s a part of it that’s her being a pro at regulating her emotions on the spot.

I mean, suppressing trauma and culture shock and an inability to control what your body at 13 so that you’re not carted off to a government facility and experimented on will force a girl to learn how to keep herself from freaking out in public pretty quickly.

I think the route that Kara took, to handle it all, was to be really excited about the little positives. Things like birds and ice cream and potstickers and friends and daily life became so fulfilling for Kara because they had to be. And I think it’s often a coping mechanism, even for social situations.

But I also think it’d be a mistake to consider her brightness ingenuine. It’s real, it’s just also work.

Kara also seems, to me, to be kinda behind everyone else in a lot of ways. She’s just having her first real friendships, because she’s only just able to reveal her whole self to people. She also just had her first real romantic relationship, at 26.

So if it’s not something we’ve already seen her deal with regarding relationships, a safe bet is to assume that she’s a little clumsy about it.

That is, unless it concerns emotional maturity. She’s supernaturally good at dealing with people’s emotions, if in a way that cuts past one’s expectations for normal behavior.

But that doesn’t mean that she’s necessarily great at reading people’s emotions. At least romantically, she’s been shown to not be great at guessing how people feel, unless she really knows them.

If you’re writing early season one Kara, her view of her parents is childishly positive. “My mother was the best woman who ever lived.”

So if you address anything about Krypton, feel free to have her romanticize the hell out of it.

If it’s post-the disillusionment of her view of her parents, there’s a certain amount of bitterness in how she views them, though I’m not sure if it’d extend to the other aspects of Krypton.

Quick quirks:

Off the top of my head,

—Nervous laughter, but don’t let it go on for too too long. She’s not that bad.

—The Crinkle™ (brow furrow) when lying, in a ‘fake confusion about what they’re talking about’ kind of way.

—The Brow Furrow Of Sympathy, when she’s worried about someone.

—She’s neat and organized. People sometimes forget this.

—When she’s talking about Krypton or loss, she’s still and serene.

—Anger!!! Very very rarely directed at her loved ones (not completely out of character for her to blow up after a long time, but likely followed by an apology immediately after, even if she’s right), but this doesn’t mean she won’t hit her enemies a little harder that day.

(This also doesn’t mean you should have her almost murder someone because she’s angry. Even if someone almost died because of an enemy. I immediately exit fics that have this occur. Her morals always come first, even before the people she loves. It’s at the core of her character and not something she’d forget because she’s emotional. She probably wouldn’t even think of killing as an option to begin with.

If you really want this to happen, just Red K it, or have some other mind-altering thing happen to her.)

—Her Supergirl personality isn’t as different to her Kara Danvers personality as Superman’s is to Clark. She has a whole Confidence thing, and sometimes does her whole deeper-voice put-on business mode, but she’s a very happy and excited hero. Superman has a kind of Cool and Kind feel to him, but Supergirl is a Happy and Respectable Nerd.

—Determined™. Reporting and otherwise. It can sneak up on people, because you wouldn’t expect her to be.

—Has mean thoughts like everyone else but tries harder than most to challenge them

—Can’t spell for shit

#supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor-el #Anonymous #analysis: you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it

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