#i pictured that before all the t2 shit started to hit so everyone is in a good mood and genuinely happy to see him so confident

[good-beanswrites]

Hi there!! Your milgram drabbles are actually giving me life. If you're still taking requests (if not, totally fine!!), how about Haruka and Colours? :)

Aww thank you so much!!! :D Thank you for the request ooh, it's such a fun prompt for him! I ended up going with something for him and Muu between the first two trials, but I still wanted the main focus to stay on his voice and growth 👍

“This is your wardrobe?” Muu's eyebrows raised. “That's all there is?”

“W-well, I don't own much else that I, I really like to wear. Sorry." Haruka’s mind whirled into a panic. His new friend had been in his cell for less than two minutes and he was already a disappointment. She knew a lot about clothes and fashion, but he didn’t know a thing about that. They’d have nothing in common. She’d grow bored of him, and hate him, and -- 

“Aw, you don't need to apologize! The warden should be sorry for making you wear this. Muu will have to fix it.” 

“Fix what?” He bit down on his thumbnail. He knew there was a lot of him that needed fixing. That’s what he’d been told as long as he could remember. But what did she plan on doing that no one else could?

“All white does not do you justice. I'll request some things for you, okay? Let’s see…" 

She spun away from the clothes to examine him. He squirmed under the sudden, intense gaze. She looked him up and down, without saying a word. He hugged his arms to his chest. He had too many painful memories of people looking at him like that. But at the same time, he hoped she would never stop…

Her lips twisted into a gentle pout. “See? You poor thing, you don’t feel confident in that at all.”

“W-well, it’s only that --”

 “-- Don’t worry about a thing. Muu will get some neutrals, and a few accents. That will help bring out your eyes.”

“My, uh, my eyes?”

“Mm, they're your best feature.” She said it as if he were crazy for not knowing. His mouth gaped. He had a best feature? 

“Speaking of, I'll have to grab some pins to keep your hair back, so you can actually see them…” She reached out to brush some of his hair aside. He flinched, but let her touch him as she tried out a few things. While poised over his face, she looked at him seriously.

“How do you feel about purple?”

He swallowed. How did he feel about purple? Haruka thought it was a strange question, but if Muu was being so nice to him, he should trust her. He should respond perfectly. He went back and forth on what the right answer could be. How did everyone else feel about purple? How did Muu feel about purple?

“Nevermind.” She put her hands on his quickly raining shoulders. He relaxed them. “I think I’ll go with green.”

He sighed with relief. “Oh! Okay!”

Muu continued muttering to herself about different colors and styles, to which he nodded along. If she thought it would help him, he believed her. 

———

He stepped into the dining hall for breakfast. The prisoners were used to their routine by now, so nothing really caused disruption anymore. It was why Haruka was unprepared to be a disruption himself.

“Haru~” Mahiru called. “Wow!” 

His eyes widened. As he scrambled for a reply, Mikoto nodded from another table. “So colorful!” All the eyes turned to him. Even Es turned from where they were speaking with Jackalope in the kitchens. They all smiled at him.

“How fashionable!”

“It suits you well.”

“Aw, look at you!”

The sudden praise forced his hands up to cover the huge smile on his face. “Me?” 

He could feel his cheeks redden, but his heart raced in excitement. At their request, he did a stiff turn to show off the whole outfit. “Ah… it’s only because of Muu…”

“And it looks like I did a great job!” She appeared beside him, pressing her palms together. “You look wonderful.”

With so many kind eyes on him, he couldn’t help the giggle that spilled between his fingers. 

“Buuut Muu can’t take all the credit,” she said. “Or your clothes. This is you. You look happier. You’re holding yourself differently.”

“I didn’t know…” He hadn’t meant to do that. That was a good thing, right? Haruka felt his legs shift, as he thought too hard about how he was standing.

Is this why he was forgiven? People were finally seeing him. Es really looked at them during his interrogation. The prisoners had noticed him more and more. Even the voices that whispered in his cell at night had taken a strong interest in him. And now, everyone was showering him with their praises. Muu was right, it was more than the bright colors he was wearing.

“Yeah, you seem more confident.” 

He lowered his hands to return her beaming smile.

“I… I think I am.”

#milgram #haruka sakurai #muu kusunoki #i had a few different thoughts for the prompt -- maybe something with the crayon coloring from Weakness or something relating to the #vibrant bugs/fish in AKAA #but i really loved his trial glow up (personally i think he had the best one of t2!!) and wanted to work with that #ive been trying to avoid time breaks in short pieces of writing but i definitely wanted to show him getting the attention he deserved :') #i pictured that before all the t2 shit started to hit so everyone is in a good mood and genuinely happy to see him so confident #i hope his internal monologue wasnt too much but i had a blast writing it asdfdsf #a small dose of childishness but a big dose of needless anxiety ;--; #i dont know if haruka fans like seeing him and muu together but i wanted to show them interact because this treatment specifically would #have Such a good impact on him which makes me so happy #ahh i hope you enjoy! this was so much fun ✨ thanks again :D #drabbles

[rachelerobfit]

IRONMAN Texas 2017: Not a Race Report

This past Saturday was Ironman Texas. It would have been my first IRONMAN distance triathlon and the culmination of 5 months of training. Exactly one week to race day I had a bike wreck leaving me with multiple fractures in my pelvis and a fractured rib FTW. I swerved to avoid hitting fresh road kill when my front wheel found a large seam in the road. I tried to regain control of my bike, but it wasn’t in the stars. Texas road kill: 1, Rachele: 0. I was told it was epic (Don’t half-ass anything. Always full ass, always.) with the feet way up in the air, sending my head and right side crashing down into the ground. I was not going to be racing IMTX on April 22nd. It wasn’t only bone-breaking but so terribly soul-crushing. As I sat in the emergency department I thought of ways that I could make it happen (it’s really good I didn’t as I would have been easily destroyed within the first few hundred yards of the swim with a kick to the ribs or any part of the body). All my ducks were in a row. I had my transition and special needs bags packed, hotels booked, dog-sitter arranged, sherpa in order, and family in-bound from New York, Los Angeles and Chicago. Because my family rocks, they still came out to spend time with me. Through this whole ordeal my Powerhouse Racing tribe have been so incredibly awesome. So many people reached out in person, text, social media…every outlet possible, and have gone above and beyond any expectation. It has certainly helped to numb some of the physical and emotional pain. 

 My family and I still planned to head up to The Woodlands to cheer on the athletes but more importantly I wanted to be there to support my teammates as they have supported me.

The days leading up to race day were a bit emotional. I was touch and go for a bit, waxing and waning between anger, sadness, relief (that I wasn’t hurt more).  I received even more gestures and messages from everyone. A few seriously made me laugh (it was painful but I laughed my ass off on the inside). I went to Powerhouse Racing for a massage with Lisa. I had no idea that Bobby and Michael along with JZ and Mel and planned a little surprise celebration. Bobby ordered the most spectacularly disgusting but awesome cake: red velvet topped with fresh road-kill (made of rice crispy treats). I love his sense of humor. He gets me. He really gets me. Bobby has been key in keeping my bike together during training. He’s been an ear to listen and a has shared a wealth of knowledge and experience in triathlon.

 Ugh! Being immobile makes time…slow...down. These last few weeks before I wrecked were going by so fast. I was nervous about my training. I was worried that I wasn’t ready. I was worried that I hadn’t trained enough. But I was assured by the best, that I was (ready). I did the training. I checked all of the boxes…well majority of them. You see, with Yarzy as your coach you make sure you do the work. I purposely chose Jim because of his personality. I needed someone that would hold my feet to the fire and more importantly call me out on my own bullshit. I knew he wouldn’t be afraid to tell me (when needed) that I was full of shit…and he wasn’t…and he did! He said I was ready. And I was.

 Over the past few weeks I had my race strategy and race day nutrition playing in a loop in my head. In my mind I saved visuals of my T1, T2, and special needs bags. Exiting the water, getting on the bike, and wrapping up the run. I visualized running down the chute and hearing…well…you know.

 It was Thursday. I had planned on heading up to The Woodlands today to athlete check-in and to do all the things I needed to do before race day. Instead I just lounged around locally. I made myself stay active/limber as the Ohana were in town. We ran some errands, went shopping, Mike took a few on them to tour the NASA Super Guppy. We stayed in rest of the day, binged Scandal and played some maj-jhong. All the while in my head I kept saying by now I would’ve been through athlete check-in…by now I would’ve been to the athlete briefing…by now I would’ve (insert IRONMAN activity here). I got some great messages throughout the day from fellow athletes. They were all nice and heartfelt wishing me well. Steven said, “you will cross the finish line”. He would race with my initials on his m-dot on race day. Dustin said (regarding my crash), “…it was pretty gnarly. You caught some big air. I would’ve been crying like a baby…you’re a champ…easily the baddest bitch I know!”. Ceseilia added “RR” decals on her race helmet. This was cool because although we didn’t really get the chance to train together, we still trained together (and our IRONSHERPA were bonded). Then Johnny posted that he’d dedicate his race to me. That got the waterworks going. I know that JZ had some unfinished business of his own at Texas so this wasn’t ‘just an IRONMAN’ for him. This gesture was pretty amazing and I just can’t thank him enough for this.

Throughout the day I was trying to stay of social media because while I was happy for my teammates, it stung a little. I thought I should be in that water for practice swim. I want to go to lunch with the crew at Chipotle. I want to see my name at the Lulu store. I want pictures of me at bike drop. I want my IMTX swag and a coolio bracelet. The family and Mike did an awesome job of keeping me occupied as I clearly had a case of the FOMO.

It was getting late and again my thoughts wandered… if I WERE racing, I needed to be in bed…like yesterday. After a few rounds of schooling Mike at maj-jhong I finally hit the rack…and/or the meds were kicking in. If I didn’t get horizontal soon I’d have kanji imprinted on my forehead. It was going to be a long day tomorrow- it’s IRONMAN.  

Per usual, my body clock wakes me up at around 4-4:30am. Like a meth-head I opened my phone to Facebook. I wanted to send some final well wishes to my teammates and see what was going on. Instead I opened up to the group page with Ana and JT in bodymarking, scribing “R4R” (Race for Rachele) on my teammate’s arms. Que the tears. Ohhh-emmmmm-gheeeee! I wanted nothing more than to race along side all of them. Obviously I couldn’t so this was the second best thing. Ana and JT, your enthusiasm for triathlon and our tribe is palpable and contagious. Don’t stop.

We make our way up to The Woodlands and all those previous thoughts and emotions were stirring. Here I was broken, headed to a race I had trained for over the past five months. I didn’t know how I was going to feel about being on the side-lines. I vented to Michael on the drive up and was quickly reminded that I was going up there to give just as much, if not more support than I’ve received. ‘Nuff said.

The energy at IRONMAN Texas is unreal. We got up there in time to see almost all of Powerhouse at some point starting out or already on the run course. JZ was the first Powerhouse athlete Mike and I saw. He was wrapping up his first loop. He was in the hurt locker for sure. He stopped to for a quick fist bump and he moving. FINALLY got to the tent. You can imagine my pace moving from the parking garage to the tent, scooting me and my little walker along. There has to be a way to rig that thing to go faster. Aero bars, race wheels…something. I’ll have to get with Bobby and JZ on that. I knew I wasn’t going to last very long as I was in a bit of pain, but it felt great to be there. It was the first IRONMAN event that my family had been to and I think they were pumped and are ready for more! I wanted to at least see our athletes once on the course. I stood up to hi-five as runners made their way through the “gauntlet”. As they were hi-fiving back I felt more and more pain through the fractured rib. I tried switching to the other side but most people are right-handed. Whatever… it was worth seeing them all come through, most with smiles on their faces. It was also nice to get hugs (even the schweaty ones) from our athletes and even words of encouragement from them…FROM THEM! They were the ones racing but were giving me love! How freaking awesome is this Powerhouse Racing tribe?!!! By now some of our athletes were through the finish line, new or renewed IRONMAN or on their way. It was time to say good night. Mike was anxious about me coming out and being out on my feet for as long as I was, and with good reason.

The following day Johnny organized a gathering at a Boondoggles. My cousin who came in from NYC, is a runner and dipping into the triathlon world accompanied us. On the ride to the pub he was asking about Powerhouse Racing and what sets it apart from other groups in the area, what was the formula in having almost a spot-on completion rate our athletes. I couldn’t quite explain or put it into concise words. Obviously anyone can write a plan, hand it off to an athlete and be on their way. But that’s not how it’s done at the Powerhouse. Anyone can calculate paces and set training zones for athletes. That’s easy. There’s an app for that. But again, that’s not how it’s done at the Powerhouse. Johnny has definitely set himself and the Powerhouse apart from the rest. Johnny and Melanie, and all the coaches truly have a vested interest and want to see our athletes progress through their training, reach their race goals and finish strong. From a super sprint to IRONMAN distances, it’s no different. Everyone is an athlete and everyone crosses the finish line (Melanie will come find you!). JZ knew what I put into training and how excited I was to do IRONMAN Texas, and he knew how devastated I was not to be able to race. Yesterday at the pub he recognized this and “loaned” me his 2017 IRONMAN Texas finishers medal. He said it was just on loan to me until I finished my IRONMAN. I still don’t think I am doing a good job at putting into words what sets Powerhouse apart. But this. All of these gestures from all of these great athletes and coaches. Putting others first. Humility. Humbleness.

 I didn’t cross the finish line at IRONMAN Texas. I didn’t even get to start. But had it not been for my tribe, I wouldn’t have even made it this far. From Tammy running with me and being a great motivator on many occasions when she didn’t have to, to the Powerhouse family in the neighborhood (Tammy, Richain, Todd & Ceseilia) setting up aid stations when I did my long run, to Steven finding me on said long run to give me a ‘CAW-CAAAWW’, to the chats with Jason (WtGB), Bobby, Brice, Coach Mel, Coach Russ, to Natalie and Thea, Nicole, Lisa fixing me and trying to keep me together until race day. It sucks that I’ll have to start over, but I wouldn’t do it again with anyone else. I don’t know what the rest of the 2017 season has in store for me. I am hopeful to be able to race and am also hoping to still complete an  IRONMAN before the year is out.

#ironman #ironmantri #triathlon #ironmantriathlon #ironmantraining #triathlete

[spellyjane]

Splash, Hammer, Meh, Yay! Chatty 70.3 RR

I was heading into Chattanooga 70.3 with no taper and a month after IM Texas. My coach and I fit in a bit of speed work but it has been a bit of an adjustment. They are such different races. I have been in Ironman mode since last September. Sounds like a good excuse for a wussy day right!? It isn’t, I had a cracking day, it just did not play out the way I planned it.

My team mate / mate Alex and I hit the road loaded with bikes, coffee and enthusiasm for the long drive from Chicago to Tennessee. Even with a delicious lunch stop in funky Nashville we made good time and arrived in time for race check in.

I am probably never going to be in charge of booking race accommodation again. The Days Inn was truly hideous, truly. But it was walking distance to the race start, it had a bed and a lamp, so some may say it was perfect.

We met up with my race mate Jeff for dinner at a pub on the main street. He had flown in earlier from Denver and was there on a mission to claim a 70.3 WC slot. We had an early dinner so that Alex could go and pick up his wife Theresa from the airport.

So our weekend gang of Alex, Theresa, Jeff and I assembled for breakfast at the Frothy Monkey next door to the Chattanooga ChooChoo hotel. There was a lot of good eating that went on this weekend. We planned our day and got moving.

A little recon ride showed the worst part of the course, the suburban streets were cracked and potholed but brightly marked with orange tape. It hardly seemed possible while we were sweating buckets at the unsheltered 3pm athlete briefing, but the weather forecast for race day was for thunder storms and a 100% chance of rain. After hearing the few key bits we needed to know, we staggered back to our rooms for a pre dinner rest and heat stroke recovery. I must say, those athlete briefings are important BUT sitting us out in the sun for an hour is counter-intuitive. What a crock of shit that weather forecast turned out to be, but at that stage it was a significant concern for all of us.

As we wandered up the street to meet Jeff at the restaurant he reserved for our pre race dinner, we saw formally attired people coming and going from what was obviously our destination. I was lucky to have had the sense of occasion to add a pair of loafers to my shorts and shirt combo but really that is as fancy as my race travel wardrobe goes. We arrived quite under-dressed but clearly oozing enough confidence and our blue athlete wrist bands to carry it off. No spaghetti and red sauce to be found anywhere on the menu we endured with soup with lobster, sorghum buttered bread and some sort of tree fern sprouts. I have eaten pre race fish tacos in mexico, schnitzel in Austria and quinoa in Calgary and know that this pre race dinner in Chatty will be just as memorable!

As we dined the heavens descended and the forecast epic weather arrived violently. We stared out the window of the restaurant all dreading our trip back to our hotel let alone the race the next day. I don’t mind swimming and running in rain but riding my bike in heavy rain is just plain scary. I was thinking about the numerous man hole covers and the road conditions I had seen earlier that day. All I wanted at that stage was a safe race, to not crash my bike or be struck by lightning. I was committed to racing, after all I had to burn off all the calories I had just consumed!

Before bed I pottered around got all my transition gear into plastic bags and just got myself into rain racing mode. I pictured my whole day wet and soggy but killing it anyway. My husband sent me some words of encouragement and I was in bed by 10, I managed an ok sleep. I was up at 4am to see a dry parking lot and low cloud cover. Whoa, I was immediately elated!

I met Jeff on a dark corner near my hotel and we walked up to the race together. He was his usual quiet pre race self, perhaps a little more so because I know he was really wanting a good race and a slot.

I got myself ready, went and found Alex near his bike, he is a special breed of chilled out, after letting some of his vibe rub off on me, I told him I would see him near the swim start, and I went off to collect Jeff for the shuttle bus to the swim start. He was not as chilled. He was staring at me with scary evil possessed eyes. I was horrified until I figured out it was not actually directed at me but the member of his nemesis tri team who had racked his bike next to Jeff’s.

We caught the bus to the swim start, and wandered down to the sub 30 min swim time area. (I was anticipating a sub 30 min swim given the river current.) Alex found us and we chatted away nervously while we waited. Actually I chatted away… Still no sign of rain but the deluge the night before had an impact on the current in the river. They had sent the pros off on the original course, swimming 300m up stream, turning, swimming 100m across then the remaining 1600m downstream. But it was evident that the current was too strong for us mortal age groupers so to the cheers and hurrahs of the crowd around me, they cut the up stream portion. I wasnt saying boo, but I certainly was not thrilled to be doing the short swim. So without the upstream portion we just had a mad 1300m sprint downstream. I got that into my head straight away. Don’t hold back I thought, just get in and go hard.

The rolling start works well when people self seed properly. But oh man of course they don’t. I started with Jeff, Alex putting himself a few mins back waved us off as we stepped over the timing mats and took off. I lost Jeff within a minute. I was pushing. I was breathing every other stroke for most of the way. I was swimming over the top of a lot of people.

I found the step and hauled myself up and headed off to the wet suit strippers. I made the climb up the steep ramp into T1 to Theresa’s cheers. I donned my gear and headed out. Jeff teased me about not wearing bike shoes in transition as he caught me just before the bike mount line, dammit, he may just have a point. Anyway we took off within seconds of each other but he was out of my sight very quickly.

I was feeling super. My plan was to hit watts that would give me an IF of about .82-.83 (Intensity factor, a fraction of normalised power over my functional threshold power, I am talking about dosing my effort based on my known maximum average watts for a 1hr effort, or something like that) The problem was that the rolling hills on the course were causing a lot of bunching. In order to keep clear of other riders and avoid drafting I was pushing up the hills and when ever I found myself caught up in any bunches. I was finding that as I was coming into the back of a slower rider’s draft zone and beginning to over take that another rider would come up into my draft zone to overtake me, but then we would hit a hill and everyone would slow down, I could tell who the hell was overtaking who, it was a nightmare, in the end I just felt the best thing to do was to get well away of it all. I channeled my Team INTENT Tuesday afternoon hammer-time mojo and went nuts. I vaguely recall passing some poor guy on the side of the road having a mechanical as I headed up the steepest climb, turned out that was Jeff fixing his dropped chain. I finally got some clear road as I hit the easiest part of the course. I rode past a flock of big black birds sitting in the grass on the side of the road, apparently they were vultures, they were scary looking ugly things. A bad sign? Not for me, they were there for the female pro I was gaining on.

Jeff came up and passed me with about 5k to go, shortly after that Alex was there. It was amazing that of all the almost 2500 people racing, that I would be lined up behind those 2 right at the finish. Neither was pulling away from me too fast so I caught up, I giggled as I passed Jeff and finished ahead of him. My IF ended up being .85, not ridiculous but not particularly smart given the hilly run course to come.

We all took off into T2. I was on my way out when I realised I still had a top on that I did not want, the awesome volunteer helped me get it off and dropped it back at my bike while Jeff ran past me laughing. Jeff, Alex and I all hit the run course within 30s of each other. They were gone and I was already feeling that my effort on the bike was going to make this a bit of an ugly run. Spectathlete Theresa was ready with a super smile and cheer as I ran by her at least 3 times out on the run course. I could see Alex and Jeff running together for a bit, they both looked great and I was super jealous that I did not have the legs to keep up. It was hilly and there were lots of U turns but it was a great run course. The aid stations were fantastic. I was not holding a pace I needed to hit 1:40, but I sure as heck was not going to let 1:45 slide by. I watched as a girl with a strong run and a “45” inked on her calf cruised by me with about 8k to go. Oh darn, had no hope of matching her pace, but still in decent shape and not completely falling apart I kicked on and managed a not so terrible run after a killer bike and a hilly run course.

I high fived Jeff and Alex and gave Theresa a sweaty kiss at the finish. All of us were happy. Alex finished 20th in the insanely stacked men’s 30-34 AG, Jeff came 8th in his 50-54 AG both very happy with their performances.

I was 3rd in my 45-49 AG with a 4:31. I can’t call this a 70.3 PR because the swim was cut short by 700m, but it was my fastest bike run combo ever. It was not executed the way I planned but when I look at the data and past performances, it really was one of my best days out. I had a smoking fast bike split of 2:24 which was 5th female overall, including the pros, my run was mediocre at 1:43, but over all a very fast day.

After the world’s most refreshing beer we headed down to the insanely hot river front to attend the award ceremony and slot allocation. Alex and Theresa escaped after awards but Jeff and I stayed. He was fairly certain, that he had a slot but it really was not till they called his name that he breathed again. I was holding my breath too. There was a lot of joy!

I passed on my slot because I already picked it up in Racine last year but was thrilled to see it roll down to a girl sitting right by me, again more joy!

Post race dinner at fab Chattanooga find, Urban Stack, was followed by ice cream thick shakes. We happily all fare welled Jeff before wobbling back to our skank hotel.

Alex, Theresa and I drove home via awesome food in Nashville, we sung a little John Denver, read and chatted, they were such great company all weekend.

I send my huge love and thanks to Simon for his support.

I send more huge love and thanks to my coach Rick Schopp, yeah, I am respectable on the bike these days, thanks for getting me there.

Next stop, cheering on my boys this weekend at their 1st triathlon. Lookout Brownlees.

#ironman703 #racewithINTENT #im703chatt