#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kpopgerapitico · 3 years

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Will I probably watch True Beauty a bit longer? Yes. Do I hate that dramas and popular media thinks makeup can do a damn thing against real acne? Also yes.

A/N: The read more below is . . . a lot. It’s a little rambly, but goes into my feelings a lot more, and talks about why the acne in particular in this drama has me going hard.

I had incredibly bad acne growing up. Like I have no pictures from the age of about 12 to around 20 or 21 where I don’t have multiple breakouts on my face. To this day, despite not having popped my acne (pro tip, don’t pop your acne, that’s how it scars!), I still have skin damage. And I still get zits popping up, usually at the worst times (I have one small one right now, and one of middle size). Most of high school, I would have been lucky to have a day with fewer than 5 breakouts.

Now, I probably could have done more to take care of my skin and help reduce the acne. But, after trying Proactive for like a month, and seeing literally no results, I went with the cheap method: spot treatments to dry out the skin of the spots to help them reduce faster, an acne toner, and moisturizer. I washed my face in the shower every day after I worked out, and prayed to the gods that it would help.

It didn’t

All it really did was keep the acne a little smaller, and keep my skin somewhat healthy. It didn’t reduce the obvious appearance, or the general redness.

I tried makeup, but as anyone with really sensitive skin will tell you, makeup can be a toss up. Even with hypoallergenic formulas, I still have bad reactions to this day. I still break out the next day if I wear makeup for more than 4 hours. It is still a mess.

So anytime a drama deals with beauty, and suggests that there is some fairly easy way to ‘fix the ugly’, I’m skeptical. I always relate to the lead right up until they change everything about themselves in a 5 minute montage, and suddenly they are popular and beautiful and everything works out great for them. There are only two dramas that I think have handled an ‘unattractive’ (because it is always a beautiful actress in the leading role, regardless) leading lady.

The first is My ID is Gangnam Beauty, because 1. the transformation may not take a lot of screen time, but it is incredibly hard and 2. the lead is forced to realize that she is a pretty bad person for being so caught up in looks. It tells the peril of being caught up in your looks and the looks of others, while still giving a fairy tale ending. It isn’t perfect, but at least it’s nuanced.

The second is Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, where the lead doesn’t change herself and still gets the incredibly attractive boy, who finds her attractive, and likes her inside and out. This is such a good take, in a dramaland that often sees any amount of ‘ugliness’ as a poor character trait that is the fault of the ugly girl. And frankly, all of us wish Nam Joo Hyuk would look at us like that.

And for me, True Beauty has already stumbled. In the course of a short montage, the lead somehow gets great at makeup, and manages to turn it all around. And she does it without fixing her skin, because literally the day before she still has redness and (pretty damn fake looking) acne. The kind of breakouts that last days. The kind of breakouts that irritate the skin so much that they lead to new breakouts. The kind of breakouts I know you can’t cover with makeup, because I’ve tried.

Anyone who has ever had serious acne has tried to cover it up. They have tried to cover it up, and they know it doesn’t look flawless. It doesn’t look like an idol who has been airbrushed to hell and back, because your average teenager isn’t a makeup artist. And there is only so much you can do to disguise a mountain. It casts a fucking shadow on your face. Not much you can do to cover that. And redness can be defeated by green, and texture with the right pore filling primer, and maybe you can do it without looking like you have stage makeup on. And I doubt you can do it and not cause a reaction on your skin. Acne is often affected by irritation.

You are starting to see different bodies in advertising. You see different levels of melanin, and stretch marks, and tattoos. You see crimpy hair, and curly hair, and scruffy locks. You see size 0s, and maybe some size 16s. You see women in lots of forms, and lots of creeds, whose story can be seen on their body. They are all beautiful, the ads say, while retouching their facing so they are pore less. They are natural, the ads say, while their eyeliner is gently smoked, and their cheekbones enhanced. They are perfect just the way they are, the ads say, while making them stand just the perfect way, in the perfect light, at the perfect angle.

You don’t see acne though. Well, unless its a commercial for teens, or the parents of teens, lauding the success of this or that dermatologist recommended skincare solution. We can fix it, the ads say, while an actress without any acne at all splashes water on their face. We can make it better, the ads say, while they show barely noticeable acne along a singers jaw line in a photo taken by the paparazzi. We can show the real you, the ads say, while they show results shots over 30 days, and real testimonials from people who have grown out of their hormones.

The scars on your body tell a story, but the scars on your face should be erased.

And that’s the standard that True Beauty is enforcing. Just cover it up. You will be pretty if no one can see your real skin. You can’t be pretty otherwise, and god knows you aren’t worth anything in the world if you aren’t pretty.

#i have feelings about true beauty #and they arent all just 'cha eun woo is unfairly pretty'#no they are mostly annoyance at a family that treats their child like trash until shes pretty #and a girl who suddenly gets cured via makeup #and teens being assholes when they often arent #oh and fake ass looking redness and acne #like fuck you couldnt put the blusher anywhere else #like redness is not just on the apples of your cheeks and your forehead #and acne doesnt only happen where redness happens #have you had a zit on your eyelid?#i have that shit hurts!!!!#anyways end of rant #probably #maybe

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alienatad · 7 years

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02.03.17 | 1:50 am

I’ve tried lying in bed and watch a movie. But somehow its not working out. I’m getting sleepy after every 15 minutes. Maybe I should stop fighting and just catch up sleep. If you’re wondering why this is happening it’s because I spent almost one week without sufficient sleep. Every day I had only 2 hours of good night sleep and few hours of nap during afternoon. This wasn’t a choice by the way. I had to stay awake late every day this week studying for my exams. Each day I had to sit for at least one exam. Even though this wasn’t a final I did try my best. Physics test was held in Wednesday while Biology exam was on the next day. If that wasn’t torture I don’t know what is. I really don’t understand why they rushed all the exams this time. It’s like they wanted to get over it as soon as possible.

With all the stress I ended up studying things that weren’t really coming for the exam unknowingly. But that’s alright. There’s no harm in studying in advance. And that’s something I need to do and stick. I still have my math exam remaining. But I have the whole weekend to prepare, so that’s a relief.

I have a feeling that this weekend is going to be boring. I feel messed up and moody. My aunt was supposed set an appointment for me with a dermatologist today, but that obviously didn’t happen. I’m really disappointed cause I was really expecting her to show up cause I needed that appointment so bad since I have such sensitive and bad skin. It’s been almost 6 months since I’ve been to see a dermatologist. That time he suggested me some cream to apply and a specific face wash which worked perfectly. He also gave me some pills to eat which I didn’t eat. I regret that. It’s been a month since it’s been getting bad. I just hope she at least get one for some other day. This isn’t the same aunt I live with, in case you were wondering.

I’ve got my mid-term break ahead which I’m thrillingly looking forward to. If you’re wondering why it’s because I get to go and be with my family for one week. That is half the excitement to be honest. The rest is I get to play video games all night long for the whole week. So I’m impatiently looking forward to it.

As I mentioned earlier I couldn’t keep my eyes open. That’s why I decided to write something. And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. And it really is doing the trick. Didn’t know that the right type of music and a keyboard is all I need to ditch sleep. Don’t get me wrong I like to sleep. I like to sleep late and for longer hours. If I can keep this up that is exactly what I’m gonna do tonight. Night is still young. Its only half past nine.

This afternoon I didn’t go for a short nap. I stalked some of my so called friends. More like classmates from previous grades. Its really depressing. Most of them already have girlfriends and I feel like I’m the only one without one. Trust me. When you’re a teenager it’s really depressing to have such feelings. But the fascinating thing is those feelings are quite peculiar. Sometimes they last for a long time. But other times it just fades away pretty. I’m not a sad person. I’m a happy person. But sometimes these things just mess me up.

If I was writing with a pen in a journal I would definitely say my hands are tired. But since I’m only typing I’m not gonna say that. But this is getting quite lengthy isn’t it? Hold on. I’ve still got a few to write about.

I’ve always had the idea of getting tattoos. The idea obviously came from Michael Scofield. He’s the main character the show Prison Break and you probably know that. If you didn’t its definitely worth checking out. He had this blue prints of the prison tattooed to his whole body, (Spoiler alert) which helped him to break his brother out. While my brother watched that show ages ago I saw him and was excited buy the idea of getting a tattoo. I didn’t actually watch the show until year before last. That show watered the idea of getting a tattoo for me. Mark my words. I am definitely getting at least one tattoo. But I’m looking forward to get a full sleeve. But I have to see if I’m comfortable wearing long sleeved clothes, since its nearly impossible to get hired for professional jobs with your whole arm covered in tattoos. At least that’s what internet has been telling me so far. But getting a full sleeve cost lot of money and not done in a heartbeat. It requires to be planned. More importantly it should have some meaning. And it’s somewhat a long process. I might lose the interest over time. Or I may not as well. But one day if I end up reading this I’ll definitely remember and pursue the idea again. Well my parents won’t be happy with it. No doubt obviously.

I guess that’s enough for one day. I think this is the most I’ve written in a single journal entry. For me these Writings are not not useless. These are gonna be memories someday. And I’ll be able to look back to this day.

#student blog #lifeofastudent #student life #studentdiary #life of a teenager #teenage life #exammotivation #study motivation #studyspiration

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