#i tried to include all the response text below for screen readers so the info should all be readable one way or another!

[chainofclovers]

directional breasts: an aggressively unscientific yet data-appreciative study of sex writing

Hi!

Do you like boobs, data, and stories? READ ON!

How it started:

I work on creative writing before work in the mornings, and on November 20, 2020, my project of choice was a Grace and Frankie fanfic. These gals had spent years—years!—being pals under conditions of ever-increasing intimacy, and it was time to write a sex scene! As a writer I tend to vacillate wildly between moments of written language fluency and moments when it feels like I’m choosing every word one at a time from a broken hat. This was a one-very-slow-word-at-a-time kind of morning, and I found myself invested in questioning the level of specificity needed in the scene. Of course concrete details resonate far better than vague ones—broad strokes that could apply to anyone end up belonging to no one. My question wasn’t one of concreteness, but rather one of precision: if Frankie Bergstein touches one of Grace Hanson’s breasts, does the narrator need to specify which one?

Although I already knew the answer was, like literally all other answers, deeply contextual, I was thrilled by the rich possibility of procrastination and distraction. If I created a survey, I could wander away from my story and convince myself it was in service of my story. I spent about three minutes creating a Google Form called “Directional Breasts,” assumed about eight of my kindest followers would take the survey, posted it, and switched gears (and computers!) for a day of work.

Between that moment and the moment I closed the survey on Sunday morning, I got 277 responses, learned a lot about how people read, and experienced a renewed certainty that femslash community is the absolute best.

Survey and results behind the cut.

Here’s the survey itself:

Assorted facts:

People could respond to the survey more than once, so I cannot confirm if these are the opinions of 277 distinct people.

I took the survey sometime during the first day it was open; I wanted to make sure it was working properly. (Yes, I took my own survey. I’m relatively new to Google Forms!)

Both questions were multiple choice, so none of the results add up to 100%. I was more interested in finding all the “and” statements I could among survey participants than in forcing people to choose only one highly unscientific response from a series of overlapping, sloppily-crafted possibilities.

It turns out a lot of people resent being made to ponder left and right breasts—left and right anything—and the survey results were often hilarious.

Context is, in fact, everything.

The results:

Question one: You're reading a story and something's about to happen to a boob. The author specifies that the boob in question is the "left breast." What do you think?

This seems like a perfectly normal level of detail. I'll add this to the logistical information that helps me understand the action here. - 32.5% agreed with this statement (90 responses)

Ah, the left breast. That's the more progressive breast, I suppose? I'm distracted by the directional detail, but I don't mind it. - 14.4% agreed with this statement (40 responses)

It would be way sexier to just say "one of her breasts." A directional breast feels clinical. - 19.9% agreed with this statement (55 responses)

The word "left" doesn't take me out of the story, but it doesn't add much either. - 39.7% agreed with this statement (110 responses)

I'm glad you specified. "Her breast" would imply that she's only got one, but this character definitely has two. - 5.1% agreed with this statement (14 responses)

Custom response - 9.2% provided a custom response (23 responses)

Question two: Whose left? ;)

Left according to the person whose POV the story is in - 24.5% agreed with this statement (68 responses)

Left according to the person doing the touching (the boob-feeler) - 9% agreed with this statement (25 responses)

Left according to the person being touched (the boob-owner) - 63.2% agreed with this statement (175 responses)

Custom response - 11.6% provided a custom response (29 responses)

What does it all mean (to me)?

I’m not surprised that question two was more straightforward than question one. Of course the omitted article matters here—”the left breast” is a little open-ended and POV-based, whereas “her left breast” is unequivocally (or is it?) a reference to the boob-owner’s left. 

My favorite part about question two were the custom responses from people who resented thinking about directional breasts and in one case believes this question will “plague [them] for all [their] days.” Another person sagely pointed out that what matters is that a breast is being touched, which, yes, is really great. One responder suggested the direction matters more if the person being touched is also the POV character for the story; I assume they mean that if we’re hearing the thoughts of the person being touched, it might matter more to receive that specificity of experience. 

As for question one, the reason I published this survey in the first place, it doesn’t surprise me that the responders did not reach any kind of notable consensus. Much like the Senate race in Georgia, no boob-touching possibility received a majority. In this case, that is OK! As a writer, I actually agree with all of the statements in this survey...contextually. To explain why, I’ll rely on one of my favorite custom responses: 

it's important if "left" indicates something other than mere logistics. either to set something up in the writing: it's a far reach from her right side, and it has to be clear in thhe next paragraph that the toucher is really arm-out in this situation, or metaphorically/emotionally, ie the left side is meaningful to the character(s) for some reason.

YES, anonymous survey participant! Mere logistics don’t cut it as a reason to include a detail. We’ve all read stories where the sex writing feels more like blocking for a scene in a movie than like a crafted narrative. 

I also loved both of these responses, which emphasize the importance of pacing and intimacy the narrator themself is responsible for. 

Not to be all “it depends on the context” but I think it does depend on the context? If the scene was slow, methodical (“she kissed her left breast then her right breast” etc) then I think the specificity adds to the pacing. Conversely, if this is a desperate, explosive sex scene where people’s clothes are being torn off I think it would feel weird to suddenly have such a slowing effect of specifying.

it depends! the distinction could be sweetly deliberate (as in, 'first the left, then the right,' slowing the narrative and showing deliberate planning in the gesture), or it could be totally jarring if not relevant to the context (if one breast is to be kissed, i needn't know which!

The directional detail that provides slowly-paced intimacy in one scene could feel robotic and disconcerting in another.

Other notable responses: someone said “This better be a Chekov's Breast that comes back in the third act,” which delighted me. Someone said directional details aren’t that sexy unless contextually needed, and unexpectedly described a man dripping hot wax onto a woman’s left breast while kissing her right breast, which made me realize I actually wouldn’t need those directional details to help me out as a reader there! Several people reminded me that left vs. right breasts (or any part) would fit for an injury or a medical circumstance. One wise responder described the experience of being taken out of a story because they are given details that force them to “reshuffle”—an unpleasant side effect to certain kinds of specificity.

@little-brisk​ did me the kindness of reblogging the survey and adding some great commentary and a corresponding homework assignment, which I’m totally going to do although I haven’t had time yet. So amazing. 

Conclusion:

Femslash readers and everyone in their orbit who took this survey are the best. This was far more fun than I thought it would be. And as for my story? It’s the left breast, but I’m describing it as “her breast.” It’s enough for me to know, and you can imagine it however you like. I’ll get my specificity in elsewhere, though I’m sure I’ll have cause for a contextually appropriate directional breast at some point in the future. 

#femslash #fandom things #am writing #meta by me #(tagging as such so i can find this again even if it isn't really meta meta) #please click all the way into the bar charts so you can read them #and let me know if they're too hard to read so i can post larger files! #i tried to include all the response text below for screen readers so the info should all be readable one way or another! #lesbian things #queer things #grace hanson is a gay disaster #frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess #<3333 #i'm seriously so grateful to everyone for responding to this survey #writer things #directional breasts