#i was gonna have reader end up with another boy buuuttt i didn't know which one

[kuroosdarling]

A love that I can't win

part two to heartaches by the number (part one)

kuroo x reader

a/n: still angsty but more on kuroo’s side. reader is living their best life<3

it had been 6 months since you walked out the door of kuroo’s life. your stay at bokuto’s turned into a longer stay, which eventually turned into being his new roomie. 

trying to get you out of your shell, bokuto had introduced you to his volleyball team. you instantly clicked with everyone, especially atsumu and sakusa. they were both also insanely protective over you from the start. it didn’t take long for you to open up to them about what happened between you and kuroo. you vaguely remember atsumu saying something along the lines of how “he knew kuroo really was a conman” but you decided not to ask.

bokuto was your rock though. he was the one who had always been on your side. the day after you left, bokuto went to the apartment to collect your things. he made sure to tell kuroo off before leaving. at the time, kuroo tuned it out. he didn’t really care. but now? now, it was different.

kuroo stood outside the door that led to you and bokuto’s apartment. bokuto was throwing an after party for MSBY’s most recent win. he was still friends with bokuto, but it wasn’t really the same. he knew how disappointed bokuto was in him. hell, all of his friends were disappointed in him.

he wasn’t sure what to expect when he stepped into the party, but hearing your laugh across the room caused butterflies to erupt in his stomach, immediately followed by a deep sense of regret. he didn’t realize how much he missed that sweet melody of yours. his gaze snapped into the direction where your laughter came from, and there you were, standing in all of your glory.

you had always been beautiful. once upon a time, kuroo did fall for you. but you were on a whole other level now. you had a glow surround you that radiated warmth and confidence. had he been blind before? how could he have not seen it? and more importantly, how could he have let you go?

but he didn’t let you go. he stuffed the feelings he had for you deep down so he could make room for her. even so, it had all been for nothing. she left him, which only made him see how much he really lost when he kicked you out of his life. he had made the biggest mistake of falling for another woman when he had the most perfect person right in front of him all along.

he didn’t plan on falling for her at first. of course, he liked the familiarity that she brought. she reminded him of his time at Nekoma and all the fond memories he had there. he devoured her praises of how she remembered him in high school. he held onto her word like it was his lifeline. like whatever she said was law. how silly, when you had been there speaking not of the man he used to be, but on the man he had become.

he let the beautiful, rose colored glasses deceive him. she was truly a snake in disguise. a few months after he ended things with you, she left him for another man. he later found out that was just who she was. she would date and make guys fall for her but never truly stuck around after that.

he was such a dumbass. 

“kuroo?” your voice had snapped him back into reality. he felt his heart almost beat right out of his chest while simultaneously crack because when had you ever called him kuroo? it had always been tetsu. he looked down at you with his mouth wide open. the last thing he expected was for you to come up to him. you offered him the tiniest smile. “bokuto will be glad that you made it.”

“i’m glad.” he said, hesitance lacing his voice. is that really the best he could do? he cleared his throat. “but i’m glad to see you. you look good. really good.”

“careful, we don’t want her hearing something like that now do we?” you replied smoothly, playing with your hands behind your back. he could barely detect the hint of resentment in your voice. he knew you were uncomfortable but he respected that you came up to him anyway.

“she’s gone.” he looked down at his feet. “she left me.”

“hm.” you hum, not sure on how you want to play this. you want to gloat in his face and tell him that it serves him right after the stunt he pulled on you. but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a small, teeny, tiny part of you that still loved him and wanted him to be happy. “that sucks. i know how much that hurts.”

“i’m so sorry.” he said, looking you straight in the eye. “ending things with you is the dumbest thing i’ve ever done. i know i don’t deserve it, but i’d still like to be a part of your life somehow.”

you look at him in shock. you weren’t expecting any of this. you figured he wouldn’t show or worse, he’d show up with her. but he had come alone. you scanned his face. he seemed genuine. you also noticed that he didn’t look so good either. the dark circles under his eyes were prominent and his hair seemed even messier than before (if that was possible). his normally playful smirk had been wiped clean off of his face as if it had been missing for months.

“kuroo.” you start. he looked at you with a glint of hope in his eyes. the same hope that you held out for him before. the same hope that he squashed that day by not even treating you with the respect of saying goodbye. you couldn’t even try to hide the rage that had begun to resurface. “that’s not going to happen. we are going to be civil for bokuto’s sake but that’s it. you’re right, you don’t deserve it. at the end, you treated me as a placeholder for her. and when the day finally came where you could be together,  you threw me out of your life like what we had didn’t matter. i feel bad that she left you but you left me first.” you felt the tears prick your eyes. all your frustrations that you had been holding for so long came out. now you finally got to tell him how you feel. even better, he was actually taking it in this time.

“i’m-” kuroo started. 

“no. you don’t get to say anything else. you’ve done enough.” you crossed your arms. you didn’t care if you were being mean or cold. you had still been a lot nicer to him right now than he was that day. kuroo blinked a few times, trying to hold back tears.

“everything good here?” you heard a voice. you look at the corner of your eye and see sakusa and atsumu approach you guys. atsumu threw his arm around your shoulder and tucked you into his side protectively. sakusa stood on the other side of you and crossed his arms, his glare staring straight through kuroo. kuroo had to hold back a gulp. if looks could kill…

“yes. he was just going to say hi to bokuto now.” you say, raising a brow at him. you knew he wouldn’t object. he just nodded and looked at you one last time. you shift your attention to sakusa and atsumu. you flash them your award-winning smile which atsumu eagerly returns. sakusa even gives you a small smile. they were both proud of you for standing up for yourself. atsumu gave you a brief kiss on the top of your head while side eyeing kuroo, practically telling him to get out of here.

kuroo knew he should walk over to bokuto now but he felt like he had been punched in the gut. he had been so stupid to throw away the best thing in his life. and judging by the way atsumu and sakusa were looking at you, he knew that it wouldn’t be long until someone else had a chance to steal your heart.

sometimes true love is understanding that you aren’t meant to be together. in order for you to be happy, you have to let one another go. he vowed he would do whatever it takes to make sure you’re happy, whether or not it was with him.

taglist: @crystal-lilac @hyeque <33

#dunno bout this LOL #i was gonna have reader end up with another boy buuuttt i didn't know which one #so you decide <3 in my mind its either bo or sakuatsu hehe #it was kinda hard to write kuroo being torn up about this :(( i felt bad for him LMAO #but he deserves it #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo #kuroo angst #[εїз] - aims writes #<3