#idk I have relative closure now considering I was crying to the tour version of seven this time last month

[midnightsslut]

the way taylor singlehandedly repaired my relationship with my high school best friend

#(I gave her a code for the eras tour and now we’re going to the same show next year possibly together) #anyway she’s leaving for college tonight apparently and texted me and like #eh #god #I’m so emo #that was such a huge hole in my life and like no it hasn’t been filled obviously we’re just on better terms but #idk I have relative closure now considering I was crying to the tour version of seven this time last month #anyway I don’t normally use tumblr as my pwsonal diary but whatever #really wish I’d had the balls to say ‘let’s meet up’ when we were in the same city but I swear I thought she’d be leaving later #not that it would’ve changed much #but maybe we could’ve idk talked about it #don’t even know how I feel #like what happened? she’s horrible at communicating so I don’t even know #but it’s so wild like this person I probably knew better than anyone and like I still feel like I know her #but sometimes I doubt myself like do I know her anymore? #do I? #there’s just so much #it feels like I’m haunted by the ghost of who that person was to me #and I just. wanted us to be close again so fucking bad. and I don’t know if she did or not I honestly have no idea #but sometimes it just doesn’t happen? she isn’t who she was back then #and neither am I #or maybe she just isn’t showing me that version of herself anymore #like she put up a wall #ehh #it was the most intense connection of my life #anyway now that I’ve laid it all bare in the notes the post no longer makes sens #hope she thinks of me sometimes #and I know she does but I also don’t bc she’s Different now #hope she remembers me fondly #maybe we’ll finally discuss it all next summe