#idk how to like...approach ART as a practician

[straycalamities]

i wanna be a horror artist i wanna be a weirdcore artist i wanna be a character artist i wanna do instimate scenes between characters i wanna emulate lisa frank or rainbow brite or the last unicorn i wanna emulate 90s anime i wanna evoke '00s numetal i wanna evoke '10s sadboy music i wanna evoke catchy vocaloid music w disturbing lyrics i wanna be like j-horror i wanna make yaoi i wanna do surrealism i wanna do abstract i wanna do cartoony i wanna do anime/manga i wanna do illustrations i wanna do comics i wanna do animation i wanna stick to askblogs i wanna express every part of me y_y

#txt #im a complex tangle of a wide variety of influences and aesthetics and interests and foundations #and i feel like my art maybe reflects uuuuuuuuh 10% of it #maybe #i wish it was more im just STUPID #AND DONT KNOW HOW #ive studied for YEARS #whats the SECRET #when it comes to art im really like...not uh #i dont wanna say not good bc im not here trying to put myself down (entirely) #more like im just not as uhhmmm rrerrmrmrm refined? no thats not the word either like. i'm not really an Artist in the full sense of the wo #i feel like tons of ppl have a better idea of the fundamentals of art and i dont just mean the techniques and physical skillsets #i mean mental and even emotional #i feel really stunted and behind and have ever since college x_x #and ive been so lost on how to grow in anything but physical skill #like my anatomy knowledge and persepctive knowlsdge and etc etc etc #get better #but how to express myself? just gets worse tbqh #idk how to like...approach ART as a practician #and not just an observer #like i just wish my art was more ART and emotional and raw and stylistic and ME #and not just uhhhh literal scenes of characters #bc thats all my brain can conceptualize #i wanna thinK DEEPER RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i wanna create art as deep as the art i like SEEING