#idk idk thisw is just beautiful and im emotional thank you so much

[drowning-in-neon]

"there's something slippery about a name, like raindrops or loose keys so they always kept five in their pocket at a time. good luck charms to rub between his thumb when he got nervous or leave on the edge of a gas station counter when they became too heavy to bear. life was one long procession, dragging behind him and snagging on the sidewalk cracks so it was nice to leave something behind for once, to carry less even for a moment. the person he was felt too big for a name, an expansion that was constantly pressing on the edges of the world. he felt divine on the inside, like spirits trapped in a jar or the burn from a pyre. "love me." they would whisper, hands shaking on the steering wheel of their car. "love me." they would say into a lover shoulder. "love me." they would say at the shifting reflection of the mirror. it felt big to ask, even if he had so much of it to give.

if this was his story, then he wanted to write over the pages in big bold strokes. there was supposed to be more magick in the world, it was supposed to mean something. the heartache was a red thread to follow toward glory but he had walked so many paths only to find it tied to lightning charred branches. they disintegrated beneath his fingers and he smudged them under the corner of his eyes as a reminder to never follow them again. he always did. hope was the wicked thing in the box, but he loved the way the light felt.

he wondered if the gods heard his petitions, if the green growth would ever push his rib cage and bloom big enough for someone, anyone to see and marvel at. "it is hardly bearable." he would say, smile licking up the side of his face. and it was, but he bore it.

still, the dawn breaks every morning casting a beam of light across his face. he laces his boots twice with careful hands, throws on a jacket that makes him feel broad and formidable. there is more living to be done, always more and perhaps, it will be better tomorrow."

#vin #kind words #poetry #holy shit this is..........god this is so beautiful i almost wish i had put across my words better in the one i sent you #god the idea that this is how someone like you sees me is.... #idk i cant find words you've rendered me so speechless but it's all positive feelings that much for sure #it warms my heart i think #you're forever astounding me with your talent and your voice and your magic #i want to cry because #whoever you wrote about here is the sort of character i would fall in love with if i saw them on the screen or in a book #which is so..................odd because it's--me? #it's how you see me #and for someone who is so repulsed by themselves it's #it's so wqeird to see.... well #ME described in a way that would be an immediate comfort character if it was anybody else but myself #and idk what that means yet but it means something and #idk idk thisw is just beautiful and im emotional thank you so much #cartoonsun