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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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5 may 2023 Friday 1:18 am pt

I told a professional person about Brendan Lean months ago but haven’t heard back from them since. I was hoping that they would help me out about it Bcz I’m obviously too sick to do anything about it myself. Green auto save 1:20 am pt usually this person calls back every month but I think they have not called me back since I told them. Weird. But also not a surprise by now Bcz of the way everyone has been to me. 1:21 am pt

1:22 am pt probably more proof that the government, fbi, police, hospitals are all s*x human trafficking. 1:23 am pt and that Brendan Lean is a big piece to the puzzle of Sierra LaMar’s disappearance. 1:24 searing pain left. Hip bone 😖😭😤🥵😫😩

3:18 pmpt honesty doesn’t matter to incubus. I was upfront about not wanting to buy my cousin’s dinner and that her dad should do it. And I’m being given a hard time about it all the time. I discovered hot pockets for children 👶 who need free lunches from school 🏫 have no fillings yet I cannot find the articles anymore about Oklahoma cheating them on their lunches 🍔 - seems like gaslighting if you can’t find it again - as if to pretend it didn’t happen - they seem to be able to get away with it? If I’m not seeing news 📰 on it. 3:22 pmpt yet incubus keeps giving me a hard time about it over and over and over again. 3:23 pmpt

5:10 pmpt I thought 💭 this saved and now I see it here. Incubus, you made every one not care about me. I don’t want to commit suicide. Please just cut off my head your self. No one cares about me. Everyone does what you want. They probably won’t care if you wield a sword ⚔️ and do murder. The police 👮‍♂️ do what you want. The medical 🏥 professionals do what you want. Garrido does what you want. Scott does what you want. Carter does what you want. What is stopping you from just taking what you want? You want my bones 🦴 for your children 👶. Please stop 🛑 torturing me. Just kill me! 5:17 pmpt

5:40 pmpt cramps. 😖😭 Bcz he burned me, I have to accept that all he did was flirt with me and that he regretted it. That’s what the flame 🔥 with his face turned away showing the word true on his hand 🤚 means. 5:42 pmpt that there was not any more to it. It took me forever to get it. I only realized it recently. 5:43 pmpt. It doesn’t matter that I was under the test like he wanted me to believe that he wanted me to write ✍️ when I (vag pain 😖😭was that bone 🦴??? 5:45 pmpt) wrote about Nick V./B. Earlier. I did not originally believe that I was under the test. But if I was, then that would be bad for him. Right hip bone 🦴 pain. Bcz then he was leaving it open for me to say yes maybe when I was having phone ☎️ s*x that I could have said yes to the plane ✈️ tickets 🎫 he offered. That would have meant he wanted me then? Possibly. But not anymore. And he wanted to see if I trusted and wanted him enough. If so, probably so he can feel chosen/wanted/desired without knowing what he really looked like. 5:51 pmpt I don’t believe that he likes me at aall. 5:51 pmpt 5:52 pmpt

6:02 pmpt please don’t make me fall. Please don’t hit me with a car 🚗/vehicle/bus/truck. Please end my suffering. I don’t want surgery. Please end it. 6:04 pmpt

7:22 pmpt I’m almost out of hip bone 🦴. Incubus keeps on picking it apart. 7:23 pmpt I have asked the doctors 🥼 to do X-rays of my bones 🦴 and have been complaining of 🦴 bone pain for years. They only did X-ray of my lungs 🫁 and they said every time in the last 6 years that the lungs 🫁 are clear even though I was coughing with difficulty breathing. They used it as an excuse to not give me anything for a while I think 💭 I’m trying to recall. Then I recently tried oxygen tank with liquid in nebulizer and that stopped my cough and I was able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️. And then the doctor 👨‍⚕️ said I couldn’t take it home Bcz I wasn’t dying even though I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ for probably whole minutes at a time. I had been suffering for years since 2019. 7:28 pmpt they also said my kidneys were fine. Now when I breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ Minutes ago I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if I’m confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ but he started trying to pull apart the last of my hip bone 🦴. 7:29 pmpt cramps. I lost a lot of bone 🦴. 7:30 🕢 pmpt. The doctors 🥼 believed it was really the apocalypse. That’s why they said it was all in my head =due to my thoughts 💭. And that they could not see anything in the mri that was causing it. 7:32 pmpt so it’s not only me that heard and saw the apocalypse message. It was the hospitals 🏥 too.

7:34 pmpt I cannot do much now. Bcz I cannot breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ for long. Bones 🦴 start to be attacked by the incubus with acid or heat and sharpnano? tools 🛠. 735 pmpt doctors 🥼 are very uncaring until they think they can get in trouble. The last doctor 👩‍⚕️ I talked to tried to change the subject after I told her I had acid pain in my brain 🧠. Then I got mad/angry. And she made an excuse something like us doctors 🥼 we don’t understand brain 🧠 pain only headache 🤕. Literally that’s pretty close or exactly what she said. That was her excuse after I got angry at her. 7:38 pmpt that was her trying to cover her *ss. Bcz I threatened to sue her if she disregarded what I said. I told her that I told someone at her hospital that the finger clip oxygen detector machines didn’t work/fraudulent. I think 💭 that maybe changed her tune. 7:40 pmpt

7:42 pmpt doctors 🥼 are only motivated by money 💰. Bad things really happened to people. Incubus god allowed it to happen. He shows consequences for neglect. But everyone wants to say god this god that. I guess god isn’t really tired 😓 of every one misbehaving. And not caring about the consequences of their negligence I.e. garrido and dugard. 7:45 pmpt unfortunately they always get rewarded. And they thought 💭 they could keep doing things the same and continue to be respected for negligence that leads to garrido and dugard. They like child death ☠️ and child rape. It’s more business 👨‍💼 for them in a capitalist economy. More mayhem = more money 💰. More rewards. I guess god trusts them more than anything anyone. He can trust them with his children 👶. 7:49 pmpt why would you continue to ignore garrido after kidnapping and raping a 14 year old and masturbating next to elementary schools 🏫? 7:50 pmpt doctors 🥼 are indecent. If someone has power and money 💰 they won’t reject them even if they kidnap and prostitution/pimp. Ugly reality. 7:52 pmpt

7:54 pmpt unfortunately this ugly reality is the way the incubus god likes to run things. He likes men enjoying theirselves to s*x trafficking of minors. 7:55 pmpt

7:56 pmpt he could stick every little girl 👧 with a man 👨 with a p*nis and watch them get raped. But what about me? Why do rapists of Ramsey not get caught? I’m assuming they have the wrong guy Bcz of dna 🧬 stuff this time. And the last one I read was becomg transsexual? Makes me think 💭 he’s really messed up 🆙 in the head. I wonder 💭 if he cut it off? 7:59 pmpt no one wants to get to know me. It’s hard for me to even know myself. So many people are confused 🤷🏻‍♀️. 8:01 pmpt I feel searing pain for several minutes now. They don’t want to know me unless I got money 💰. Seems shallow. I should probably read more about robber barons. 8:02 pmpt people could have gotten worse than me to deal with. They did not count it as a blessing that they got me instead of someone who would deal something worse to them. 8:04 pmpt

maybe all the doctors 🥼 should spend the night with carter. Maybe 🤔 they would like 👍 that. 8:05 pmpt

8:20 pmpt incubus simulates the consequences of head trauma, in his own way I guess. Examples are mike Webster and other nfl players. There have been arguments about whether children should be allowed to play and how to make the game safer for the nfl, Bcz of head trauma. Incubus likes to challenge me on every thing. 😑 I need to stop 🛑 but every time I tell myself this, he (bone collar pain 8:23 pmpt) makes me forget. He justified s*x trafficking. He makes me think 💭 I’m a horrible person. When I was a kid. He already thinks he knows me at age 4? That’s why he tickled my vag and made me hump toys 🧸 . 8:26 pmpt I think guys get to have too much fun 🤩 at the expense of women. 8:26 pmpt

8:39 pmpt if I didn’t have eczema I probably would have found a challenging job using my hands 🙌. Intaglio printmaking, assembling ikea furniture 🪑, washing dishes in very hot water 💦 with lots of soap 🧼, vacuuming in the summer no air conditioning, carrying groceries even very heavy packages of bottled water 💦. There’s probably more . I’m not going to think anymore. 8:42 pmpt they slammed the door 🚪 means they are going to poison me more to take more bones away. They do weird things like put towels on the floor in the hallway. To erk me. 8:43 pmpt this is goodbye 👋 bye 843z 8:44 pmpt I am a hard worker. But no one likes me or appreciates me.

8:50 pmpt they’re very desensitized to my pain. Pain! Left side bellybutton. 8:51 pmpt water is probably easier Bcz it moves? So the weight probably moves. 8:52 pmpt

8:53 pmpt they want me to keep calling them out on things so they can punish me. Keep telling me I’m crossed 🤞. Ok 👌. 853 pmpt only to people who treat me badly/misbehave. 8:54 pmpt

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