#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

Going to Beartooth tonight! First concert of the year!

#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

Everyone, please, help manifest a job offer for me next week 😭 🤲I know I'm in the final consideration for two

#im an awkward 🦇 #i need out of my current job before it kills me

[lnights]

Fallout Boy and BMTH tonight!

#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

*taking notes* 📝 Yes, yes! Oh I wonder what we do with all this information 👀😇

It's all for science you see 🤔 I think we can do great things

#im an awkward 🦇 #answered asks #ladysorbus

[lnights]

I think rpf has corrupted me I am trying to write a fic for a show and I can't get into it 😂

That or mild writer's block idk

#im an awkward 🦇 #using Tumblr like a diary

[lnights]

Thanks for tagging me @another-sun 🖤

Star Sign: Aquarius ♒

favourite holiday: Halloween, love an excuse to dress up!

last meal: chicken divan

current favourite musician: Sleep Token and St Aurora, I've been cycling between them.

Last music I listened to: Alkaline - Sleep Token

last movie i watched: Barbie finally lol

last tv show i watched: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

last book finished: Mistakes Were Made (thanks @punk-gremlin 💕)

last book abandoned: Tristan Strong punches a hole in the Sky, it's just on the stand by the couch mocking me

currently reading: fanfiction

last thing researched for writing/art: if book illustrators have agents

favourite fandom online memory: ummm idk probably just everyone laughing or being horny over photos of the blorbos, it's just fun reading everyone's comments.

temping project you're trying to reign in/don't have time for: I'm thinking of febwhump but I'm not feeling the prompts, otherwise there's marchinony that I think I'll do!

Tagging @punk-gremlin @i-love-the-smell-of-your-blood @kaunisbaby @mondscheinprinzessin @jupiter-balls @lonelyvomit @samyelbanette @askeataiho @arsonist-chicken @goth-automaton

#im an awkward 🦇 #tag games

[lnights]

You are so right for saying it!

Babygirl Mirko would look so pretty, I'd love to see it (I really need Samy to give these guys a makeover and lend some of his clothes and accessories)

Someone put him in a corset asap 😤

#im an awkward 🦇 #answered asks #tomorrows unknown

[lnights]

Hi Layla! 🥰 Please look at my photo of Petja and Nile (also my phone's background image)

Tits out and legs for days... 😌 You were wondering what we have in our water (correct way to say it is "mitä vedessä on?", you got that almost right! ✨) and the reason might be overall high quality of it: groundwater and artificial groundwater make up 75% of domestic water used in Finland 💧💧💧

Huomenta! (if that isn't right I promise to study harder lol)

Ah my askbox has been ✨ blessed ✨ 🧎🏻‍♀️ look at those legs! And tits just out for all to see!

I am loving the choice of beanie, blazer, and apparently shorts (I've been informed it's a mini skirt and brrrrrr)😌 peak fashion and I hope that never changes.

(so close yet so far *sigh*)

Thank you for the fact too 💕

#im an awkward 🦇 #answered asks #ladysorbus

[lnights]

Brought to you by Niko admitting to using every computer at the University of Oulu to vote for themselves against Shiraz Lane

#im an awkward 🦇 #my fic #blind channel rpf

[lnights]

Was ✨inspired✨ by a recent BC interview and I'm currently writing something very loud

#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

@10yearsofblindchannel

Tommi day! 856 words, OT6!

Tommi was trying to sleep.

Yeah he always knew it would be hard to sleep on a moving tour bus full of people, especially full of people that were loud and all had slightly different sleep schedules, but normally he could read a bit and make himself sleepy. But it just wasn't happening tonight.

It wasn't that anyone was being particularly loud or disruptive, no more so than normal at least, but sleep just wouldn't come to him no matter what he did. He couldn't focus on his book, music wasn't helping, he couldn't exactly go for a walk, and sheer force of will wouldn't make his brain quiet down enough for sleep to come.

Tommi let out a sigh and pulled back the curtain of his bunk, squinting against the harsh light of the bus as he swung his legs out.

"Are you still awake?" Joonas asked from the couch.

"Can't sleep," Tommi grumbled.

"Want some coffee?" Joel offered, "I'll make it."

Tommi laughed, Joel was lying on the couch with his head in Joonas' lap and his hair getting played with, there was no way he'd move. "No, don't get up, you seem comfy." Tommi told him.

"I can make it." Joel mumbled, but he made no attempt to get up, his eyes closing and leaning into Joonas' hand.

"Where's everyone else?" Tommi asked.

"Olli's asleep in his bunk," Joonas told him, "and Niko and Aleksi are having some quiet time in the back."

Tommi sighed, that was three of his boyfriends he couldn't get to distract him, flopping down by Joonas and running his fingers through his curls.

"Are you two having some alone time too?" Tommi asked quietly; it could be hard for them to get any time alone with just the six of them, but it was almost impossible for them to pair up to just spend some time together. It would be better when the tour was done, and he wasn't going to intrude on anyone's time.

But Joonas shook his head, giving him a smile, "you know how this one-" he gestured down at Joel, "can't sleep if one of us isn't by him, so we're just hanging out."

Tommi nodded and started running his fingers through Joel's hair too, knowing it was the best way to lull him to sleep, and earning a small contented sigh from the singer in return.

They just stayed like that for a while, not talking but enjoying the closeness; a couple of their crew members were around but pretty much everyone was asleep at that time of night; driving overnight between cities so they could make the next gig, so they could just feel the movement of the bus and relax together.

"Why can't you sleep, nalle?" Joel muttered, sounding half asleep himself.

"Just can't," Tommi murmured back.

"So we have two insomniacs." Joonas laughed softly.

"Tonight we do." Tommi sighed.

There was a soft sliding sound and a few moments later Niko and Aleksi appeared in front of the couch, the pink imprint on Niko's cheek and slow blinking indicating he had been getting some blessed sleep in the back before something woke him up.

"I had a thought." Aleksi whispered, "I couldn't sleep-"

"Oh great," Joel groaned, "we're up to half." 

"I'm not exactly sleeping either J." Joonas muttered.

"How about we all sleep in the back tonight?" Aleksi continued with a tired smile, "we still have a few days until our next hotel stay and the two couches pull out into a big bed…"

"Yes," Tommi said instantly, it's exactly what he needed, to be surrounded by his boyfriends.

"I'm taking your bunk then," Santeri grumbled, hauling himself up from the table he had been working at and going to claim his new spot for the night.

"Fair," Tommi chuckled, standing and helping Joel to his feet, watching as he shuffled to the back with an arm around Joonas, Niko and Aleksi grabbing pillows and blankets from their bunks as they followed them.

Tommi grabbed the ones they missed and started to follow, but paused at Olli's bunk. They had a rule that if someone's curtain was closed, you don't open it, but he also knew how deep their bassist could sleep and that Olli would be so upset if he woke up and found they had all slept together without him…

So Tommi shifted the blankets to one arm and gently pulled back the curtain, smiling at Olli's peaceful face. He reached into the cramped space and carefully got his arms under him, pulling him out and carrying him to the back.

"Oh good," Joonas smiled as he walked in, "can't forget our Olli."

Tommi laid him on the pulled out bed between Niko, who had already fallen back asleep, and Joel who miraculously seemed to be falling asleep fast now.

Aleksi and Joonas got in and left an open space for him, so Tommi just turned off the light and laid down between, pulling both of them into his arms, enjoying their warmth and focusing on the sound of their breathing.

He was asleep in no time.

#im an awkward 🦇 #my fic #10yearsofblindchannel #blindchannelfanweek2023

[lnights]

I'm seeing Bad Omens tonight.

AHHHHHHHHH

#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

So if anyone remembers last year I got rained out of seeing Fallout Boy, I saw them tonight and they played an extra 20 min that other shows didn't get because of it 🥺

#im an awkward 🦇

[lnights]

Multiamory March is done and completed! It was nice to do a writing challenge again, I had a bit of writer's block going into it and this thoroughly knocked me out of it 🖤

Here is the link to the series

All 31 stories are linked below the cut with prompt, pairing, and rating

Day 1: Kiss

Rating G

Samy/Mirko/Arttu

Pull Me Closer

Day 2: Hope

Rating G

Kevin Ratajczak/David Friedrich, Pascal Schillo/Daniel Haniß/Daniel Klossek

I Can Be Honest, I Can Be Human

Also part of A beast who's burdened by his bite

Day 3: Negotiations

Rating E

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Joel Alex Hiljanen

This Is The Moment of Just Letting Go

Day 4: Misunderstandings

Rating M

Joel Hokka/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm, Joel Hokka/Joonas Porko

Misunderstandings

Day 5: Online

Rating G

Samy Elbanna/Joel Hokka/Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz

You Have a Message

Day 6: gifs Pets. This was my only swap from the prompts

Rating G

Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm, Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm

Cause Life is a Walk in the Park, And I'm Only at the Start

Day 7: Allies

Rating G

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Miki Kalske/Jani Laine/Joel Alex Hiljanen

Allies

Day 8: Hurt

Rating M

Arttu Kuosmanen | Archie Cruz/Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz/Middy Toivonen/Taz Fagerström

Holding On Hurts A Lot More Than Letting Go

Day 9: Acting

Rating G

Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Joonas Porko

Lights, Camera, Action

Also a part of Cult Channel

Day 10: Neighbors

Rating G

Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko, Joel Hokka/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Day 11: Double

Rating G

Pascal Schillo/Daniel Haniß/Daniel Klossek

Also part of A beast who's burdened by his bite

I can feel you, I can hear you, howling in my bones

Day 12: Struggle

Rating T

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Jani Laine/Miki Kalske

Struggling with the Unknown

Day 13: Fantasy

Rating E

Samy Elbanna/Mirko Lehtinen/Arttu Lesonen

A Fantasy So Divine

Day 14: Mentor

Rating T

Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz/Middy Toivonen, Samy Elbanna/Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz/Middy Toivonen

Mentoring

Day 15: Caring

Rating G

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Jani Laine/Miki Kalske/Joel Alex Hiljanen

(Un)Reluctantly Cared for

Day 16: Fiction

Rating G

Nico Sallach/Kevin Ratajczak/Daniel Haniß/Daniel Klossek/Pascal Schillo/David Friedrich

Baking Up a Story

Day 17: Comet

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm

Comet Blazing Across the Sky

Day 18: Team up

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz/Joonas Porko

Soaking up the Sun

Day 19: Break

Rating T

Taz Fagerström/Joonas Parkkonen | Johnny Cruz/Middy Toivonen

Letting People Down Like They're Dominoes

Day 20: Journey

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Niko Vilhelm

At Least We're On This Journey Together

Day 21: Wonder

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Niko Vilhelm, Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko

Through A World of Wonder

Day 22: Pirate

Rating G

Nico Sallach/Kevin Ratajczak/Daniel Haniß/Daniel Klossek/Pascal Schillo/David Friedrich

Pirate's Life For Me

Day 23: Begging

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm

And I'm Begging You to Not Let Go

Day 24: Night

Rating T

Pascal Schillo/David Haniß/Daniel Klossek, Kevin Ratajczak/David Friedrich/Nico Sallach

Ever Shifting, Skin is Ripping, as You Take Control

Also part of A beast who's burdened by his bite

Day 25: Commitment

Rating G

Samy Elbanna/Mirko Lehtinen/Arttu Lesonen

It's Just a Bad Day, Not a Bad Life

Day 26: Matchmaker

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm, Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm

Give Them a Show

Day 27: Stolen

Rating T

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Jani Laine/Miki Kalske

(Un)Willingly Stolen

Day 28: Swap

Rating T

Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Jani Laine/Miki Kalske, Hannes Kett/Ana Willman/Miki Kalske/Jani Laine/Joel Alex Hiljanen

Swapped Out for Something New

Day 29: Blade

Rating T

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Joonas Porko

Bound for Life

Day 30: Touch

Rating E

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm, Joel Hokka/Olli Matela

Decisions, Decisions

Day 31: Co-living

Rating G

Joel Hokka/Aleksi Kaunisvesi | Alex Mattson/Tommi Lalli/Olli Matela/Joonas Porko/Niko Vilhelm

Bound with a Red Ribbon

#im an awkward 🦇 #my fics #Multiamory March 2024

[lnights]

My brain loves your "Decisions, Decisions" fic 😍😍. So much that it came up with a little sequel to it. Hope you don't mind me sharing it with you 😅

So, in the morning Joel wakes up and finds himself tucked in between Olli and Tommi. He just watches them sleep for a few minutes, wondering how he got so lucky to end up with so lovely and beautiful and understanding boyfriends. Tommi slowly wakes up and asks how Joel feels. After a brief chat about their feelings 8and Tommi reassuring Joel that he is 120% not jealous that Joel picked Olli) they start slowly making out, which eventually awakens Olli without them noticing. He watches them for a while before joining in. They trade kisses and when Joel gets hard, they jerk him off together (working Joel up to having sex with more than one person). After it, Olli offers Tommi to ride him and Tommi uses this opportunity to teach Joel how to prepare someone. Joel is nervous about hurting Olli but Tommi takes his time and explains everything to him and also makes sure to praise Joel a lot (simply the thought of having the fingers of two people in you working you open is 🥵). Joel then at first only watches Olli ride Tommi before climbing behind Olli to take care of his needs and jerk him off on Tommi's chest.🥰

AHHHHHHHHHH ok I absolutely love this 💕💕💕

I actually was thinking of a sequel and we have the same beginning, Joel waking up between Olli and Tommi, Tommi spooning Joel.

Mmm something about both jerking him off is so 🔥🔥🔥

And agreed on two different people opening another up 👀🔥🔥🔥

Joel absolutely needs the praise 😂 he's a good boy and needs to be told.

I love all of this 🖤

#im an awkward 🦇 #answered asks #Another-Sun

[lnights]

Ok thoughts on the new album.

TLDR: I really like it! I would put it above LOTSAD. I think Phobia is my favorite

Me examining it like a sample in a petri dish below:

There are some similar things between EE and LOTSAD but to me it's almost like two sides of the same coin.

For example Glory for the Greedy and Not Your Bro have the same theme of people trying to act different once they started to get more popular.

While Glory was more about the corporate side, labels and producers and such that had rejected them before and then wanted to get a cut while they gleefully rejected them in turn now.

I have always supported your band" You haven't? Our last chat you were saying "ditch the rapper" "I believed in your vision" Hmm, no you didn't? You told us to lose the guitars and sing in Finnish "You're gonna be a big band, I always knew" Shut the fuck up man, no thanks to you "Prepare getting sued" Well prepare to fucking lose We ain't giving away percentages for work you didn't do

Not Your Bro is more the personal side of things.

When are we gonna hang, bro? It must be crazy touring with the band, bro Let me know if you ever need a hand, bro What can I say I'll return the favor, I'm returning the fear Your apologies only hurting my ears Call me a brother once again And I swear You'll disappear

And that theme stayed in my mind the whole album, where LOTSAD was triumphant to almost an annoying degree (I still liked it tbh) Exit Emotions is showing more of the turmoil that comes from the grind they've been putting themselves through. I think at this point we've all read or heard from them how there's been days they've been up for over 24 hours, that they were literally recording the album in hotel rooms between shows. I personally am a little haunted by the live where Niko explained that they weren't supposed to have such a packed tour schedule last year while recording the album but things just kind of happened, and Joel, Joonas, and Aleksi were just quiet but had this look of defeat on their faces. And one of them saying later that they were scared to listen to the album because they were so sleep deprived when they were recording it... Bros need a fucking break.

But back to the album, I have to admit I expected Wolves in California to be an absolute cringe fest and it was to a degree, but for as much as they've been trying to break into the American market I kind of love that the song was more talking about Finland and how they don't necessarily feel steady in the US.

The night is darkest just before the dawn But where I'm from the sun don't rise at all Damn you, now I need someone to shout at Damn you, now I need someone to shout at Damn you, now I need someone to shout We don't belong here We don't belong here, no Everybody tried to warn ya Now there's wolves in California

Yes it talks about conquering too but I digress.

Where's the Exit

Screaming rap goblin Niko my beloved, keep it up you sad clown. But again, a contrast from LOTSAD:

This life is what you fake it And everybody has a deathwish True tell me where's the exit

Red Tail Lights vs Don't Fix Me

From say Balboa that talked about getting up again and again against the odds and not giving up.

Both songs scream Joel to me, I don't know if it was him turning 30 or what but we went from Don't fix me:

Don't fix me Let me bleed out, leave me open No, don't fix me Maybe I was born to be broken I'm dead inside And it's alright (And it's alright) So don't fix me (Don't fix me) Don't fix me

Saying yeah I'm broken but it's who I am to Red Tail Lights:

I'm rolling rolling rolling rolling with the punches I need the beating 'cause there's nothing under my chest Here's something to digest

And

On the run, on the run, running from my heart Red tail lights is all I've got

I get the impression of yeah this is who I am, but there seems to be regret now, a different tone.

Autopsy and Phobia both funky little songs talking about fears. 10/10 no notes

Keeping it Surreal sounds more inline with Violent Pop or Blood Brothers to me, and that's giving me hope we'll get more songs like that when they inevitably make another album, hopefully in a year and not in like 6 months.

XOXO, I just loved it, I like From Ashes to New and hearing Matti and Danny and Joona on the song? Wonderful.

Of course we have the singles too:

Flatline is catchy and I've always enjoyed, dorky little dance aside.

Happy Doomsday, meh. It's better live but it has started to grow on me.

Deadzone, cringy but their brand of cringy, I do enjoy it.

Die Another Day, somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Feel Nothing and Bad Idea from the same event in Niko's life that inspired Die Another Day? He had a lot of pain from that. Love all three of those songs.

But also fascinating looking at the progression between the three: Feel Nothing, still in the pits of despair and numb to the pain.

Bad Idea, internalizing the fallout and admitting things that went wrong

Die Another Day, trying to pull yourself out of that pit

Then we have our final song, One Last Time... Again.

Holy hell it's a tone shift from Thank You for the Pain, where TYFTP was all about their rise to fame and leaning to deal withit, One Last Time... Again speaks more to accepting things will never be the same and is a lot more driven then TYFTP.

But ffs, they need to stop putting fillers at the end of their albums.

#god that was longer then i meant it to be #i had a lot of thoughts to get out #im an awkward 🦇 #blind channel