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sir-sunny · 5 years

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Midnight Reactions

I've listened to the album once already. Now im gonna go back through and type my reactions while listening to the songs. This is gonna be a mess. (Btw, i put the album on shuffle)

Dancing With The Devil

Fuck me man. I love this song. Glad that the first song is one that im familiar with. Little peice of comfort before im thrown into the fire. THIS SONG GOES HARD JESUS. Its so angry i love it so much. I really would love to hear this live. THE BRIDGE. Honeyyyyy. Im whipping so hard rn GOD. This song is so fun to sing geez. That NOTE he hits at the end of the song,,,,

Unopened Windows

We're really gonna make me cry this early ok wow. God this song is so pretty. This verse kinda reminds me of The Haunting. Just for a second. My heart hurts. This song is just,,,,, damn. Jesus these lyrics are so honest. This insramental,,, oh my god. Oh this bridge im actually going to cry. Its so bittersweet. I have goosebumps how can they do this to me. My G O D. Aaaaaa the tune from Dad's Song that got me. I really love this song. Oh and the sigh at the end, that really just,,, damn

Go To Bed Angry

This is such a BOP. I love thos chorus so much. This boy can sing are you fucking me rn? Goddddd her voice is so pretty. I cant wait to learn the lyrics to this song. GOD. The c h o r u s. She has such a nice voice. SHIT. I love this bridgeeeee. Their! Voices! Together! Fuck! Its like angels im not exaggerating even a little.

Stitch Me Up

Ohhhh this song's sweet. I really wanna know the lyrics to this song too. Who hurt him?? AAA i Love the instrumental to this song much. This guy,,, pls. I wanna fuckin DANCE to this song. I would love to hear this song live. SHIT the bridge is so GOOOD. ARE YOU KIDDINGGG FUCK. God that bridge kinda reminds me of Duality. Just a little. What a bop.

Raise No Fool

YESSS. i love this song soooo much. I love the fucking done with bullshit attitude. Also the "hey!" Love that. This chorus!!!! I wantttt tttoo hheeaarr iitt livvee. So fucking done i love it. Self respect love that. This song kinda reminds me of Tug of War SHIT WAIT THE BRIDGE. FUCKING SLAAYYYYY. Are we hearing the same songs rn?????? This is so fuckking gOOD. IM WHIPPING SO HARD OVER HERE. OH FUKC THE WAY IT JUST. ENDSSS FUCK ME UP

Lonely Dance

YESSSSS FUCK ME UP. IVE BEEN WAITING TO SCREAM ABT LONELY DANCE. My God. Im so in love with this song. As of right now, its my favorite song,, like ever. I just love it so much. YOU EVER HEAR A SONG YOU LOVE SO MUCH U JSUT CRY. I dont even know how to describe it. Its not like anything ive ever heard. I feels so blissful. FUKC THE BRIDGE. Its doesnt matter how muxh times i hear that bridge i get goosebumps evertime. AAAAAA I cant wait to hear this live im going to cry and die so hardddd

Different Songs

YES. FUCK I REALLLY LOVE THIS SONG. My GOD. The instrumentals of these song are you kidddding. AAAA I LOVVEEE THAT PRE CHORUS. I cant with to learn the lyrics to this song FUCK ME UP. Im so happy rn this is so good. I love this song. I love set it off. WHAT CHANGED WHAT CHANGED. YES FUKC. God none of this is going to be coherent. FUKC THE BRIDGE I LOVEEEEE SONGS WHERE THE YOU SING BACK LIKE LIFE AFRAID I WANNA HEAR THIS LIVVVVVVE. The last chorussssssssss UCKC. Please this is so good my heart is beating so fast im so happy rn im living

Criminal Minds

OOOOO. This song is sick. Its so unique ive honestly never heard and instrumental or chorus like this. GEEZ I LOVE THSI. Its so. Big. I cant describe it,,, powerful??? Its so good i know that much. I wanna dance my heart out to this song. "Nonononono drama" love that. MY GOD. I love the bridge i love this song

No Disrespect

Here we mf go,,,, THIS SONG IS SO GOOD. FUCK MEEEEEEE. DUDE. Ok this insramental FUCK that pre chorus AAAA thE CHORUS ITS GOING SO FAST. IM WHIPPING SO HARD TO THIS GUITAR. I wanna sing along to this soooo bad. FUKC are we hearing this rn are you hearing this DAMN. I would LOVE To hear this live. Im realizing im repeating myself a lot sorry not sorry FUKC THE BRIDGR. these lyricsss fuck mee upppp. YES. THE CHORUS SSSS THIS BOYE CAN FUCKING SINGGGGGG I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH MY GOD IM CRING

Hourglass

I have to apologize ahead of time. Im going to actually have a heart attack while writing this. None of this will be coherent in the slightest here we go. FUCK I LOVE THIS SOMG SO MU CNN KSH. THIS INSTRAMENTAL ITS SO DARK WHAT FUCK ME EHAT ITS SOOO GOOOD. IT FEELS LIKE OLD SIO. ITS SO HAUNTING. MY GOD THE CHORUS I LOVE IT SO MUCH IM SHAKING PLEASE ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOD. THIS SONG SO SCARY I LOVE IT SO MUCH ITS ALMOST THREATNING. THIS CHORUS IM ACTUALLY CRYING. I WANT. IT. LIVE. I WOULD DIEEEE. THIS INSTRAMENTAL. OH THE LA LA LA. FUCK ME UPP THIS CHORUS IM SO HAPPY ARE WE HEARING THE SAME THING ITS SO GOOOODDDD.

Midnight Thoughts

UFKC YEHA. I love this song so much. Also i relate a lot. Ohhhhhhh my god i love the instrumental. oOooooOOoOOOOOoOoo i love that part. Hooo strings. This song reminds me a lot of the Duality era. LOVE THAT. Its so,, pretty.. Oh my god on his live Instagram story, Cody said the little background vocals when the "OoOoooooOoooO" is going on, was meant to sound like a wolf howling at the moon. THATS SO COOL I LOVE LITTLE DETAILS LIKE TAHT. I love this songgg. OH BRIDGE. NOW THERES NO ESCAPING THE GHOOSSTTT. YEEEAA. Im having so much fun rn. Love it love this song

I Want You (Gone)

YES!!! This is sooo good. Its so mu ch fun. Could you imagine hearing this live. God i would have the time of my life. I would love to just jump and sing to this song. Its so,, bouncy. I love it. I love the chorus so much get rid of all those toxic people. DAY AFTER DAYYYT TAKING MY LIFE TALKING MY LIFE BACK. SOO GOOD. FUCKIGN CLARINET (I think¿) I LOVE IT BOP YES IM WHIPPING ITS FUCIK. I LOVE ITTT

Killer In The Mirror

Yesssssss. I remember when i first heard this song i was just in shock. Like you ever hear a song so good u just dont know what to do with yourself. Yeah. GOD THIS SONG SLAPSSS. Hearing this live was so fucking cool too im so greatful for that. YES I LOVE THE CHORUS. FUCKING BOP. Im so happy rn god. HO FUCK BRIDGE YES YES YES YES YE S. BEST BRIDGE FUCK. ME. UPPPPP. AAAAAAAGSJDJDHS. IM LIVINGNGNG. I Love this sonnnngggggg GOD

For You Forever

Yesssss. I love this song omg. When I try to describe this song the first word to come to mind is always "pretty". I just really like its pretty i love it so much. Its so chill and just sincere. I love it to death. Ohhhh MY GOD. sorry i just. Im so happy. BRIDGE. FuCK YEA. I LOOVVVEE THIS BRIDGE. Im sorry but not actually. Godd this song is song good fucking like actually gonna cry

Happy All The Time

Yes yes yes YES THIS SONGGG. ITS SOOO FUCKIGN FUN. Im having the time of my life this song is so GOOD. WHAT A BOP. IM CRYING OVER THE CHORUS I LOVE IT. "Its fine to not be happy all the time" I love that so much. AAA I WANNA SING ALONG TO THIS SONG. FUCK. ITS OKAY YOURE NOT CRAZY. OH FUCK THE FUCKING CHOIR ARE YOU KIDDINGGGGG ITS BEAUTIFUL LISTEN TO THEM ITS SO GOOD ANGELS ANGEL FROM HEAVEN ITS SO GOOD GOOSEBUMPS. GOD IM IN LOVE. LET IT OUT LET IT OUT LET IT OUT THE ENDING ITS SO CUTE IM SMILING SO HARD

Thats Midnight! LISTEN TO IT!! ITS SO GOOD IM ACTUALLY CRYIN RN IM SO PROUD OF MY BOYS IM SO EXCITED I CANT WAIT TO HEAR THESE SONG LIVE IM SO IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM IM THRIVING THANK YOU

#set it off #midnight #sio #cody carson #codysio #maxx danziger #maxxsio #dan clermont #dannysio #zach dewall #zachsio #long post #caps #yelling #tostwat #im dead

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teanaoverton · 5 years

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still swimming.

i thought the first year of law school was suppose to be the toughest. that was not the case for me.

this past semester, the first of my 2L year was the most trying experience of my life. and sheesh, i have dealt with a lot of experiences.

before we go any further, i think its important to tell you a little about myself and warn you of some contents that this post will contain.

i am brutally honest. i dont believe in sugar coating the truth, and so i wont. this post may be triggering to anyone who has every experienced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. this post is my truth. and if you havent noticed by now, i do not like capital letters or formal punctuation. and i also cant spell.

anyway, back to the story.

the beginning of the semester started off rocky. i worked for my school and assisted with many task including orientation for the first year students and the title ix policy updates (thanks betsy *eyeroll*).

unfortunately, i had to use that title ix policy.

at the end of july, my key card to get in and out of my school’s parking deck was not working properly. i expressed my concern to a security officer. instead of walking to the gate, he walked with me to the parking deck and followed me to my car. we were the only two in the parking deck.

while at my car, he asked me on a date. i was not interested in the slightest. but hey, im a girl all alone in the parking deck with a security guard. i had just heard about a woman getting killed for rejecting a man. and i sure tf have no lived enough to die. so i told him that school was starting soon and i did not have time. smooth escape i thought. and i also thought that would be it, i was wrong.

the next week, i left the second floor (where i worked) to go downstairs and get a snack from the vending machines. he saw me and ran to try and pay for my snack, thoughtful gesture, but i refused as i did not want to lead him on. he then followed me to the elevators and handed me a note with his number on it.

i had to cross paths with him to get to work, and he would make comments to me. once in particular troubled me.“you dont work on wednesdays, we could go out on a wednesday.” and that is when a red flag went off for me.

why do you know my work schedule? ive already said i wasnt interest, why are you still actively pursing me? so i told my friend/co-worker about the interactions and asked her to walk me to my car.

while working late one evening, he came to the suite and started talking and staring. it was after hours and he was no longer on the clock. the other security officer on duty was probably home with his feet kicked up by this hour. instead of doing the same... he came to “see what was going on.” being aware of the situation and that i was uncomfortable, my friend engaged in the conversation so i didnt have to. bless her.

during orientation, we had leftover food. my boss at the time asked me to take some to the security officers. my friend and i locked eyes knowing i sure tf was not about to lead this man on by any means. so, that is when i told my boss at the time that i was good off doing that. if you know who my boss was, you know she will get the truth out of you.

one thing lead to another and boom, the incidents were reported to HR. who i was required to meet with. during the first week of classes, i met both HR and my boss to reassure them that i was not looking to get a black man fired, i just wanted to be left alone.

time went by, nothing happened. i still was uncomfortable passing the security desk. i would have friends walk with me to the car so i wouldnt be alone bc guess who did rounds in the parking deck, yeah. you guessed it, him.

unfortunately, my request was not fulfilled. he did not leave me alone. i was required to do a tabling event for work. guess where that tabling event was? right across from the security desk. gr8!!! he looked at me and loudly started saying "i shouldn't have to come to work and be uncomfortable.” he said this several times, causing others in the area to look and see what was going on.

again, the tabling event was for work (different job btw). i was sitting next to my boss who was unaware of the previous interactions. she too asked “why is he screaming like that?”

i sat there in shock. in silence. and on the clock, so i couldnt leave.

why. should. he. have. to. come. to. work. and. feel. uncomfortable.

that was it, my breaking point. i felt unsafe. i expressed my concerns to the appropriate parties. eventually time went on and he was transferred.

shortly after, repressed memories of my childhood rape surfaced during a therapy session. along with many thoughts: was i over exaggerating? did i lead him on in anyway? could i have done more to let him know i wasnt interested before reporting the incidents? was this my fault?

guilt.

i lost track of what was happening in real life because i was so distracted by the thoughts in my head. but as soon as i gained back some control, real life hit me again. my legal writing assignment had been posted. and guess what the topic was? sexual harassment in the work place.

you mean to tell me, i have to do research, write a brief, and have an oral argument about sexual harassment? shit, someone call my therapist.

i wrote some shit on some paper. and that was that. what was happening in my classes? no clue. what was happening in my life? no clue. what was going on in the world? no clue.

i got lost again.

i just wanted to float and let the current carry me for awhile. i wanted to watch the clouds chase each other into different corners of the sky like freed kites who never worry about the meaning of away. i wanted to float. ive been swimming so long.

but my thoughts eventually had an off switch and i was good again. then guess what?

kavanaugh.

here we fucking go again.

the student body president signed an aba petition to conduct an impartial hearing on kav. and for some reason, some students were pissed. so they took it upon themselves to write a petition to have the sba president remove his name from the aba petition and issue an apology.

i need you to pay very close attention for this part.

i sat in class triggered. surrounded by people signing this petition while tears poured down my face. how fucking disgusting are you people.

now the only reason i know what the petition actual was is because i am in sba. otherwise, i would have no clue it ever existed. want to know why? because the students who wrote the petition never asked me to sign it. trust me, i am not offended. in fact, im honored that they knew better than to bring some bullshit like that to me. but what was upsetting, when another student asked what was going on (why everyone was gathered looking at the petition), the authors of it said “we’re just looking at some stuff about aba accreditation.”

baby, if you gonna talk about it. be about it. smh.

the petition surfaced. and the names on it, wow. people i looked up to. people i considered role models. women who are allegedly advocates for women. women in general. even a few self-proclaimed feminist.

wow. the names.

so many people who have reached out to me when i told my story about being raped as a child. so many people i believed would be there for me if i asked for help dealing with the recent sexual harassment. so many frauds.

their names, they were on it. big and bold.

i didnt want to float anymore. i wanted to drown.

i was suffering. isolating myself from everyone. i did the absolute bare minimum. i distanced myself from my family, my friends, from everyone around me.

i didnt read for any of my classes. i stopped caring. i had thoughts about dropping out of school. i still have the withdrawal email in my draft.

i want to give someone credit for helping me through this, but i cant. this ocean, its so big. but hell, i havent drowned yet.

meanwhile, im still swimming.

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