#im gonna be a comedian

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a snapshot of the result of spending a solid hour trying to find/create a suitable joke

#i can't find any really good short ones #like im trying to scribble a laughingstock thing where howdy makes barnaby laugh #but what joke do you tell a comedian who's ~heard it all~ #like in my mind it is Really difficult to make barnaby legit laugh #but what joke... what (short) joke indeed... #THE BEACON OF AMON DIN IS LIT aka guys 🥺 can i get some suggestions 🥺 team effort moment Mayhaps #i have read so many 'article' joke compilations and reddit threads and joke sites #agh. none of them Fit #absolutely unprompted #blinking at my computer screen with giant oversized i mean Garishly Horrific sparkly anime eyelashes #yall are so smart and so funny i know at least one of you has the perfect one. #an absolute banger yk yk #something howdy would say to get barns to laugh his ass off #in the meantime im gonna make lunch bc ive once again forgotten that food is a thing that exists #if there are no suggestions when i come back.... well nothing will happen but those brackets are Staying In The Mini Comic Thing

[memchiix]

I know I already drew fan art for him but I wanted to make one more because I felt the first one was bad compared to what I knew I could do

Comedian Cuphead belongs to: @askcomediancup

(Sorry for the mention hajdbsjd feel free to ignore me)

#my art #cddwtd #cuphead au #comedian cuphead #im gonna be honest #im really nervous about posting this for whatever reason #uhh yeah #hope u like the art tho c:

[origamiyoda]

Knowing/learning the actual HL(2) story/lore is making me simultaneously more excited for hl2vrai and also sooooo fucking. scared.

#I know it's gonna be really funny. BUT. 90/10 rule. the tone they've set with the trailer. have u SEEN the gnome finale. #gets scared gets scared gets scared gets scared gets scared gets sc #the thing is with rtvs stuff is I'm like. OuHH they're comedians but dear God they're fucking. Excellent storytellers as well #MY POINT AGAIN. YOUVE SEEN THE GNOME FINALE. YOUVE SEEN THE TRAILER. YOUVE SEEN HLVRAI FOR GODSSAKE. REMEMBER BREAKING BAD. GESTURES. #The thing that keeps plaguing me. did gordon get to go home. did he leave tge videogame. or did that guy get stuck in stasis. #did he get to go home. did he get to go home. #I think about hl2vrai too long I go insane and get really scared and excited #Rewatchinf the gnome saga recently has REALLY . Really got me thinking. Idk #Pacing my room like I'm trying to solve a cold case. #dude it's gonna fucking rule I'm so excited. IM SO EXCITED. starts howling #hl2vrai #Leo yells #ALSO . LEARNING ABOUT HALFLIFE IS JUST FUCKING ME UP IN GENERAL #GORDON. ALYX. BARNEY. ADRIAN?????????? #fucking dies. #also cos I've been watching backlogs of VODS I've seen some of th other. idk more theatrical? streams they've done and I'm like. Oughugjjj #the I.M. MEEN stream. the. the Simpsons stream. they're good at what they do and I'm like. Jumping around #there's also th thought of like. Well they didn't follow hl1 tbh but like. THE TRAILER MAN. THEYRE DOINF SOMETHING #tommy as gman....... goes fucking NUTS #the implications of every part of th trailer & like. everything else are making me feel like the Charlie Day meme

[droil]

i finally got struck by the left sidebar layout WOW THIS BLOWS

#@the ux team. i am going to eat you alive. #i am going to grind your bones to bake my bread #'oh its probably just dumb decisions from upstream' prove it assholes #i've stopped using twitter and you're like 'you know what lets be twitter but like. without comedians or tits' great job 10/10 #every website is actively trying stop me using it im just gonna start reading books

[galactikburzt]

Truth be told i would really love to be a standup comedian

I think we actually do need more comedians in the world

#finley's evil monologues #i actually do feel comfortable at talking in public in a crowd or being in a scenario in front of a public in general #and i guess humor also has been a big part of my life as well 👍 it's a very great coping mechanism #and a good way to make others happy #so yeah its a win win #“but magpie being a stundup comedian is actually a very hard and exhaust-”SHHHHHHHHHHH SHH- SHH- SHH- SHH- #It's LITERALLY just autistic masking but you get paid for it #taking in a crowd #analize the crowd to figure out how to make the people like you #make a conscious decision about *everything* you do to make people laugh from the way you talk to the way you move #figure out what works best to get people's validation #that's literally the story of my entire life #and you're fucking telling me i could actually get paid for all of that??? sign me the FUCK into that shit because hell yeah #i cant believe i have been doing all of that for free through my entire life #where's my money smh /j #ehehe #ive actually been looking into hunting for advice from other standup comedians out there in the internet #and well #all jokes aside (no pun intended) i think im gonna actually consider it #because again #i think the world does need more comedians in it

[bloggirl8842]

I think it’s so funny that nathan for you was a massive success due to nathan’s unconventional interactions with real people and the surprises he was able to draw out of them so he somehow thought the best follow up to that would be him in an increasingly controlled, self-directed, and isolated environment

#whenever male performance artists (not gonna call them comedians bc im talking nathan and bo burnham and both have veered into the performan #ce art space) get a lick of success they always think it’s allll them and not them in relation to people. and they release these incredibly #isolated look at me look at me type specials that are hailed as genius but are really just high budgets wasted on sensitive egos.

[francis-mulcahys-angels]

watching Stop Making Sense at my local movie theater at 8pm was such a movie experience

David Byrne fr understands me

#david byrne #talking heads #stop making sense #guess whos gonna be super obsessed with david ?! #hope its a small obsessions as im still into my british musicians and comedians #he just gets me fr

[taintedtowers]

this is soundcloud playlist. for the tourneykid

#Diary Of A Tourneykid #DOATK #The Fool #The Feline #in the background theres also #W.D. #The Canine #this was art i made for my favorite DOATK tracks playlist #you can tell this is one of my first pieces because its supposed to be my mains in the front and the comedian isn't there #Whom's Diary Scribbles #Queue Can Trust My Judgement! #i just came up with that queue tag and im gonna explode if i don't use it

[sugaroto]

Now I can say that the first time I ever went to a stand up comedy I was dressed up as the sexyman of Tumblr Cecil Palmer

#its funny cause my friend was like #'the 1st time I ever went to a stand up comedy the comedian was a bald fat guy and when i told him it was my first stand up he said #'im gonna steal your virginity'😈 (i think my friend was around 13-14? at the time?) #(he said they met they comedian before it started cause they were early and they asked for photos or something ) #(θα σου κλεψω την παρθένα was what he said for the greeks) #(the virginity of stand up comedies not... you know) #and anyway last night i went to my first stand up comedy and i was dressed up as Cecil cause after the comedy #my school had the masquerade party #like i had face paint of a 3rd eye a wig kitty headphones a purple tie and all #and i was sitting next to Dazai who was covered in bandages #i was nervous to go into the theater like that at first but no one commented on it so its fine #tho it would've been funny if the comedian saw and was like wtf #sugarenia talks #sugarenia has friends #cecil palmer #cecil gershwin palmer #stand up comedy #sugarenia school stuff #cosplay

[girl-bateman]

omg! it was so funny when the white straight cis guy refered to himself as such in an ironically hilarious and self-deprecating way, doing a little nudge and wink to the audience. he should be like a comedian or something!

#i dont mean this in a discourse-y way but like ok #so can you actually use your privilege for good and make me laugh on this miserable thuesday evening #or are you just gonna tell the same joke my dad does every time i tell him not to stare at trans ppl in public #like can we go back to comedians doing their jobs of actually entertaining the masses or ? #once again im not doing discourse here im just mildly annoyed at every man workshoping the same joke in symbiosis

[emjiroki]

Making a playlist that is playing through the Bowling Alley speakers for my slimeball Gojo fic is so fun lmao

#its gonna be linked on the post to listen to while you read #you dont have to obviously but its a fun little add in #im letting my cringe comedian out for this fic #ive already got the header done and everything #gojo is looking over my shoulder as i write this fic #em talks 👄

[posts-from-employee-427]

(i dont know if were still doing this, but CHEAT DAY by atlas would be wipanons, aka my, theme song i think. specifically for vibes alone)

-wipanon

(fun fact stanleus them would be. itsrrwould..be. ghhhgsrg. I don.t know 😔)

#(i can make a playlist wjth specific reasons for each song( #(most of which ignore the songs actual meaning) #(but i cant pick a singular defining song for this blogs version of stanley.) #(canon in game stanleys theme song is 1985 tho) #(the one by that one comedian i cant think of the naem of right now not the bowling for soup song) #(but thats also a good song.) #(im gonna stop now before a ramble but. yeah) #not employee 427

[ratmonsterz]

Reverse of tumblr funnyman is whatever it's called when people you meet keep writing down your funny jokes in their notes app

#ratspeak.zip #im gonna admit it this boosts my ego a tiny bit #it is also just funny. #the little demons in my head telling me to be a comedian get fed every so often

[snekdood]

why does it feel like...

ppl: believe victims!!

me: im a victim

ppl: actually u should be able to forgive and understand ur abuser and stop blaming them for being shitty bc they had a sad upbringing, actually, did u know,

as well as

ppl: yeah, fuck snake

someone else: yknow hes accused of being abusive too

ppl: omg yeah its probably 100% true and im not gonna question it further bc I hate him so much and i'm gonna act like its fine he was abused and my hatred and possible attempts to sabotage him is always justified in spite of doing abuser apologia earlier against him

#hmm... kinda seeing a pattern... #smells like to me that... you just wanna make excuses for my abuser #and hate me for making you ever have to consider the idea they're abusive #bc things were so much easier for you when you consumed their content without having to think about it #nostalgia makes a bitch defensive i see i see #when its some shitty comedian guy you dont feel attachment to its whatever. but oh no this person is queer and you like them!!1 #how could anybody that YOU like be problematic?? its only the ppl you dont care as much about that are :/ #not defending the comedians just showing you how you're being a selective ass hypocrite #at this point this applies to at least 2 abusers of mine. #wait no. make that three. im horrible and irredeemable for the crime of. calling someone out on their behavior. #they're all forgivable and their actions can be excused because... you dont want to believe me? #or you for some reason decided it didn't effect me that badly bc you hate me? #fuck off #just be honest. you don't believe me and even if you did you dont care what happens to me bc i dared call out your fave #thats really it. #you dont *like* thinking about the morality of it all. you for some reason thought it would be safe amongst queer ppl #i hate to tell you but theres shitty abusive people everywhere. unfortunately you wont be able to escape them just bc you hide in queer #spaces. trust me! i learned that the hard traumatizing way! #so no you do actually have to think about it still. never are you gonna find a space where you can toss away critical thinking. #i've always been paranoid about being raped and always hid inside bc of it. one of the first times i come out of my shell i do it bc i thin #i might actually be able to trust ppl since they weren't like the other ppl who abused me. low and behold #for one my abuser is just like the other ppl who abused me and just hid it #two i did totally get sexually abused! and whether you wanna acknowledge that or not based on how inconvenient you find that truth #doesnt stop it from being true mother fucker.

[piknim]

This is the longest ive played a sims family and i think my longest sims 4 binge

#this started as a throw away fam i didnt think id go back to #its the most fun ive ever had on a family #its going on 5 weeks wow #it started off with the mom sim not being able to afford food or bills for her daughters #one older and a set of triplets #they moved into the country to live off the grid with lower bills #after a couple weeks of struggle they eventually had the funds to move into a new house with electricity #now the mom is dead and her daughters are starting their own families #one triplet moved out with her husband and now has a child #one just got married and is bumming untill her and her alien husband can move out #shes also preg. the alien hates children so is bullying the oldest daughters son #she doesnt really care to marry but has a boyfriend. im kinda hoping he breaks it off with her tbh #he was created for drama bc i was gonna have the sister who married the alien steal him bUT NO HE WANTED TO BE LOYAL so i feel bad breaking #them up #bc he seems to love her ig #then the other triplet has dated and omg i forgot she was dating someone who literally has not contacted her once #i decided to have her stay with the eldest and adopt a kid of her own and kinda like co parent with her sister #i decided she really doesnt care to date and just wants to have a quiet life beyond being a comedian which i might even change #also might have the alien husband one leave her kid behind bc he doesnt like them #he was an accident. no one would take her no matter what i did but i did some joking flirts and he was immediately in love #OKAY RANT OVER

[randomcanbian]

I'm watching Taskmaster backwards (GF got me to watch S14 live and I just ended up watching it reverse chronologically) and this is my tier list so far

#taskmaster #i am in love with victoria im so sorry #she's a nerd with a customized inhaler who could orchestrate my death if she wanted to #i predict myself reading her poker memoir and the time she produced a porno with her friends in a few months #only 3 eps into series 11 so their tiers might change but this is how i feel about them so far #funny thing is sarah is who im rooting for & consider my 'fave' but i only generally like her cause she isn't really wildly funny as of now #she's just sorta like a happy crush lmao #meanwhile mike wozniak is an honorary madwoman--fucking love him in his little business outfit and his little mustache #looks all prim and proper but before you know it he's fucking climbing over the fence #and charlotte is so fucking pathetic meow meow i love her #just going on about her 18th century tankard...like she's not a comedian but she's so sincere and everyone bullies her HHAAHAHA #john from s14 makes me feel the same way...he's not sincere but greg bullies him so much and he always looks like he's on the verge of #tears even tho he isn't even sad he just looks like that AHHAHAHA #i feel bad for lee cause he looks like that type of white middle aged man who thinks too highly of himself (he doesn't act that way but #he looks like it) so i'm biased against him and he hasn't done anything to make me fall in love with him like dara or arnel or alan have #jamali scares me a bit cause there have been times where he stirs so much shit and im scared someone's gonna get genuinely angry or #offended...if he mellows down a bit tho it'd be great cause i do generally love his shit stirring #in general tho i have the same amount of love for the 4 tiers in the middle--'fave'; 'unhinged'; 'love'; 'pathetic meow meow'--some of #them just have specific feelings attached #i love the whole casts of s12 13 and 14 so so fucking much they're all amazing and hilarious