#im just. tired. and sad. and want so deeply to belong while simultaneously feeling like i never will

[im-the-punk-who]

When Hannah Gadsby said "I dont want my story to be defined by anger" and when she said "I am tired" and when she said "there is nothing stronger than a broken women who has rebuilt herself" and when she said "where are the quiet gays supposed to go?" and when she said "you learn from the part you focus on" and when she said "you internalize that hatred and you learn to hate yourself"

....I felt that.

#if you can forgive him you should. let me hate him for you #personal post #hannah gadsby #just......feeling a very certain way i guess. thinking about....not belonging #thinking about Him obviously (alex manes) but specifically the parts of myself i see in him that everyone else seems to quick to write off #and they are things that i honestly value so much in myself and like yeah this is the thing we're always talking about right? #the value people find in stories doesnt mean they dont like people who share traits with characters they dislike #but still just....to see a gay character so intentional about believing the good in humanity #believing in that good and that capacity for change DESPITE the world trying to tell him otherwise #but the thing is? #i dont want anyone to hate anyone for me. even the people who've hurt me #i just....want the things holding them back to get better. i want to change the situations that led to those hurts #not punish people for things long after theyre over #im just. tired. and sad. and want so deeply to belong while simultaneously feeling like i never will #where are the quiet gays supposed to go? the ones who have already had their fill of violence and hurt and anger #and who now just want peace #where do we go? you know. #im so tired