#im probably overhyping myself but eh

[falloutjuli]

Welp, its one of these kinds of posts.

So where have I been and whats been going on?

TW; Death/Depression warnings

Im firstly of course deeply sorry for having been gone for so long, I know it sucks and I beat myself up over it every time I had time to think about this blog.

In March I had a death in my immediate family as well as a lot of insane other shit and ever sincee have been in a huge creative block thanks to my depression that of course was having a field day. So basically since March I have been doing absolutely horrible with only a few days in between where I felt decent even to even try to sit in front of my pc. ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

Without wanting to makes this too dark, yeah, its been shit. BUT!

I still do intend to write! I have a few drafts I would love to finish but of course with my insane creative block its been hard. Recently I started to feel better and get ideas for writing more frequently so I hope to publish something again soon.

For the lovely peeps who have been waiting for the modern Johnny x Reader Part 3 thingy, Im really struggling with that one, so if y’all can stay patient then I’ll be forever thankful! It's iced for now but I do know there's a demand and I will try to make it work! 💕

I got some stuff in the works, so stay tuned for content that hopefully wont take too long!

I appreciate all the love you guys have been giving me!

TLDR: HUGE creative block, but am getting better so I wanna publish again soon, so if y'all can stay patient it's greatly appreciated! 💓

#jay talks #tw death #tw depressing stuff #BUT IMMA COME BACK LIKE A BOOMERANG #just watch me ill try to make an iconic comeback #im probably overhyping myself but eh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@merkleymrack yeah the jeremy renner parallel continues because i don’t think his writing is horrible or anything, but it’s like. not That good and imo really overhyped. like, i’ve always found it Readable for sure because there’ll be good moments mixed in and like, usually suspense enough to power through, but there’s kind of repetitive Underwhelming Elements where it’s like, could you have tried harder here? been a little more creative?? it’s part of why i feel like plenty of stuff would be better as short stories. that, and i’ve read a short story of his that i liked better overall than novels of his. and yet the short story Still dragged on too long also, sooooo many “twenty bucks says it’s self-insert” moody lonely cishet dude protagonists. and he writes women unsurprisingly badly iirc and like, wild that his first novel was So all about women but also like, yeah that makes sense. all these high school girls are Bitches and/or Stupid and everyone just keeps absolute handfuls of menstrual supplies on hand in the locker room and has anyone in their life referred to using a tampon as “plug(ging) it up”?? was that a thing whenever stephen king was in college? anyways and then there’s the Nice Girl and the Nice Mom-Type Teacher and the Crazy Woman and carrie self-destructs. i question his commentary on misogyny and overall i’d probably drop a lot of my grudge here if he didn’t write women like he does for example the first book of his i read (like a whole decade ago or so) was salem’s lot? not The most popular i guess and it’s like, a vampire comes to a small town and the isolation / insular nature of said small town means that like, it just picks people off one by one and nobody notices b/c it’s just treated like scandals that people will whisper about but not really do anything about. which like, there’s the usual somewhat interesting premise, (also Protagonist being like, haunted by something he saw as a kid that freaked him out and idk what the parallels there were or weren’t) but god it’s a really long one and it really dragged on. and the ending was underwhelming for as long as it was. and anyways one of my main annoyances was that Moody Lonely Protagonist Man meets some helpful understanding supportive Woman Love Interest and she sparks his interest in life some more and they just up and fuck in the middle of a yard or something at some point (weird unnecessary sex scenes are also a usual feature once or twice a book when the protag is a moody lonely protagonist, but if he’s married it’s like “yeah the sex was alright but also just kind of hollow and routine and [weird descriptions of bodies]” but here it was like, oh she’s attractive and younger and this is so great for my morale!! and then like a chapter later this love interest lady ventures helpfully into the vampire nest mansion and gets caught and then protagonist man eventually ventures in too and she’s a vampire and he has to stake her and is so sad about it. and i was like, christ this sucks and not in the way i’m meant to think it sucks. and i’ve never known his writing of girls / women to get better or more complex (or of guys....or of....like, the story.....) and i didnt read anything else of his for like half a decade cuz i was hardly bowled over, but one summer i was just reading a lot and Giving Things A Shot at my local library so i read a handful all at once. which included like, carrie (fine), misery (eh), the shining (alright) and pet sematary (maybe my favorite that i read? but wild of him, when he’s usually perfectly satisfied to repeatedly write about vague lore like “this hotel is a malicious and sentient entity” and “there is a god in this cornfield that demands sacrifice” and etc, to just carve up his own terrible understanding of Ooh Indigenous Cultures’ Spirituality....Spooky) and maybe one or two more. evidently readable enough for me to power through, but not even enjoyable enough that i wanted to continue from there, and to this day i’m like, well there’s sure worse things to read, but i’d rather pick something i’d Enjoy More than all this stuff with his repeated exasperating plot elements and the same man over and over and over obviously i was kind of going for his Better Known shit cuz i figured that’d give me the best sampling (i’ve seen carrie and the shining but that’s all movie-wise, i think) but It is so fucking long and i was remembering dragging myself through salem’s lot like eugh no thanks, i’d have to Really want to read that to power tf through. and then i definitely ended up just too unimpressed after all of that. and then once on twitter a mutual was talking about his books including that one and said something about “interesting take on childrens sexuality” and i was like oh god i. what does that. oh god [my impression of his œuvre flashing through my mind] and did Not look into it until i assume whenever it was that that first remake came out and someone brought up What Specifically That Meant and i was like [deep breath] [my loudest continuous scream ever] and i’d punch him over that. and whichever editors were like yep alright let’s get this printed. christs Fucking sake like yeah there’s enough decent stuff in his books to make them readable and like, he can build suspense (or at least have suspenseful scenes) and enough momentum that it can be enough to get through the shit that just drags on and the moments that are like, for gods sake. it’s not like, sheer torture or complete regret by any means, but i also wouldn’t say it’s Must Reads or really recommend anything to anyone with any enthusiasm beyond “well parts of it will be somewhat enjoyable i’m sure” and he sure doesn’t deserve to be like, *The* Horror Writer for sure. i read stuff as a kid that like, i probably wouldnt find as impactful now, but that i still think involves better horror. shoutout to john bellairs. totally just gonna compile a Haters List lmfao like, im always bad at thinking of stuff off the top of my head but there’s all these people who i just immediately go UGHH goddd about & could go off on a decent annoyed rant about on a dime with enough pettiness to make it fun.