#instead of having the poor on-site general maintenance guys just standing around looking confused

[justsomebucky]

The Only Exception (Part 3)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,523

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes, drinking, sad story retelling (mentions of death and loss)

A/N: Moving right along…and yes, I used a Keep Reading line. Also, shout out to @redgillan for making my day brighter.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

“What do you mean this is my office now?” You stared at your name, which was now fixed on a plate outside of the door. “I didn’t actually agree to anything long-term yet.”

“I don’t think May cares,” Scott said with a shrug, moving inside the office. “Views are clicks, and clicks are money. That’s basically all they want right now.”

To your surprise and horror, all of your belongings were now in Leah’s office. “When did they manage this?” You stepped in cautiously, as if more awaited you inside.

“Two guys from Maintenance and one from IT were here an hour before you to set everything up.”

You reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone, sending a quick text to your so-called assistant (and so-called best friend). When were you planning on telling me about the move?

“Right now!”

At the sound of Natasha’s voice, you whirled around and narrowed your eyes at her. “You’re supposed to tell me things like this before I get to work and find everything moved already.”

“This part is actually not as bad as the other thing I have to tell you, Y/N.”

Now you were worried. “What? Explain yourself. What other amazing surprises should I be expecting?” You moved closer to where she was standing, your hands on your hips.

“Well,” Nat began, pulling out her own phone and scrolling a bit. “There were four things total. First, you have a meeting with the creative team this afternoon.”

“I knew about that,” you nodded. “Keep going.”

“You have a new office, yaaay!”

Your eyes narrowed some more. “Also knew about that, thanks.”

Natasha gave you a nervous smile. “Here’s a good one: I took the liberty of setting up a date for you and Bucky tonight, once his shift is over.”

“You WHAT?” Now you could feel the out-of-control anger rising. “Natasha! I never agreed to that! He hasn’t even contacted me, and it’s been an entire week!”

“Yeah, about that, he busted his phone on the job Monday night, and begged Steve to ask me for your number again.”

“Likely story,” you huffed, turning away to look out the window. If you were going to be stuck in this office, at least it had a view. You did your regular calming exercise. There’s the Empire State Building…

“Last but not least, May wants you to stream your show live today.”

“Live?”

“Yeah, you know, as it happens. Not pre-recorded. Live,” Scott supplied.

“Got it.” You’d forgotten Scott was even in the room, that’s how quiet he’d been. “Scott, did Leah ever have to live stream her episodes?”

“Oh shit, no, never,” he laughed. “Can you imagine how awful that would have been? We had to do at least three or four takes every episode.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Nat’s voice was grim. “May saw some article about how more and more companies are using live stream on YouTube or Facebook to connect with an audience, so she wants to try it.”

“Don’t you generally have to advertise this so they can actually get an audience?” Scott asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn’t look happy, either.

“Well…that’s another thing…a fifth thing, if you will.”

“Spit it out, Nat,” you growled. “What else?”

“May has been advertising it, on the site that your show links to at the end. And not that you want to hear it, Y/N, but there’s been an awful lot of interest.”

“This cannot be happening.” You moved to sit at your new desk, head in your hands. The room wasn’t spinning, right? That wasn’t a thing that happened. It was just you, feeling faint. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I believe May’s exact words were, ‘She has to do it.’”

You groaned, letting your head fall to your desk.

This day just kept getting worse.

“Okay, just the same as ever, Y/N. I’ll count down, but instead of reading questions from email, you’ll be reading questions live from the comments. Nat is going to be picking them as they come in.”

“Try not to pick terrible questions, Nat, okay?” You were still mad at her for not telling you sooner, though you knew it was unreasonable. Knowing sooner would have just made you worry that much longer.

“Fine. Just, can we get to it? It’s almost time.”

Scott nodded, checking his watch. “Okay, ten seconds.”

You glanced in the mirror, touching your hair one last time before staring at the camera.

You can do this, you can do this you can do this…

“In five, four…’

Shit, you can’t do this! Don’t do this!

“…three, two…” After another beat, Scott pointed at you.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, the Love Therapist, and I’m here live streaming today with all of you to answer your questions, and hopefully offer up some helpful advice. Let’s get right to the chat, shall we? My assistant is going to be picking questions, so if yours doesn’t get answered, don’t worry, the regular show email is still available for you to send in a question.”

Scott left the camera on you as Nat read off the first question.

“Isaac212 asks, ‘I got a girl pregnant, but I don’t really like her at all. She’s terrible, boring, and clingy as hell. What should I do?’”

You made a face at Nat, then the camera. “Well, Isaac, I’d say first of all, it doesn’t really matter what you want anymore. You have a kid with this person you loathe, and the only one I feel sorry for here is the child. Congrats, dad. Time to take responsibility for your actions, even if you hate the woman. Next question.”

When she didn’t say anything, you glanced over at her. “Aren’t there any more questions?”

“Well, actually…this question comes from user Confused in Brooklyn’s Ex-Fiancé.”

More follow up? Why would you have expected anything less… “Go on.”

“He writes, ‘I just wanted you to know that you ended a relationship the other week, and I’m still pissed off, because you gave an answer without thinking of the consequences of your actions. I hope other people think first before they take your advice.’”

There was a brief silence in the room, before you cleared your throat. “Fair enough, Ex-Fiancé. I deserve that. It was my first show, and I did give out advice that was somewhat vague, which led your former significant other down a certain path and away from you.”

You glanced to your right, to the window and your beloved city, before looking squarely at the camera. “But, if you think I caused the problems in your relationship that led to its ultimate demise, you are sadly mistaken. You need to look at yourself and the role you played in making your fiancée feel like she couldn’t talk to you about your problems, so much that she relied on a stranger from the internet for help.”

Scott was nodding behind the scenes, but you were too fired up to acknowledge him.

“It sounds to me, Ex, that you thought everything was sunshine and rainbows when it wasn’t. Were you the only one benefiting from the relationship? Were you even paying attention to the poor woman? I suggest you work on your communication skills, and I sincerely hope everything works out for you in the future. Moving right along…”

The show continued live for an hour, and by the end of it you were mentally and emotionally exhausted. The thought of going home and curling up with a nice book or binging a TV show sounded like heaven right then.

You didn’t even bother to ask permission to leave; what were they gonna do now, fire you? You grabbed your coat and phone, determined to leave work’s baggage where it belonged.

“Where are you going?” Natasha called down the hall.

Dammit; you’d hoped to sneak out before she saw. “I’m going home, Nat. I’m tired.”

“You have a date with Bucky tonight, remember?” She rushed to catch up with you, keeping pace beside you as you hauled ass down the hall.

“No. No, I cannot tonight. I’m sorry. Maybe some other time.” The thought alone made you downright drained.

“Um, well…he’s downstairs waiting.”

That stopped you in your tracks, and if looks could kill… “Excuse me?”

“Steve sorta…asked where we work and I told him.”

“Nat, I love you, I really do, but you have to stop meddling in my personal life. I didn’t ask for your help, and I didn’t ask you to set me up with Bucky again.”

“Well you weren’t going to see him on your own!”

“Maybe that’s the point!” Your voice was getting too loud, so you tried to calm down a little. “I’m not ready. I’m not.”

“You’ll never be ready,” she snapped, before turning and walking away from you.

You didn’t really have a retort to that. Maybe she was right; maybe you were never really going to be ready. Why was it that you could give good advice to strangers, but not take it for yourself?

With a big sigh, you trudged to the elevator, then the lobby, where Bucky Barnes was indeed waiting for you.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, though it didn’t quite look like it was reaching his eyes. “Ready to go?”

“I don’t know if I really want to go out tonight, Bucky,” you said apologetically. “I just had a bad day at work and I kind of just want to go home and veg out.”

“What’s wrong? I watched your show, by the way, on my lunch. That was pretty intense.”

Great. Just what you needed, for the guy you were kindofsortof seeing to see you embarrass yourself live. “So then I guess you heard the one guy who blames me for ruining his life?”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “That was something, wasn’t it.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed, glancing around the lobby. “It’s not my fault his fiancée was having doubts, but suddenly I’m the bad guy who ruined everything. All I did was tell her to evaluate things for herself. Then he goes and suggests that no one should listen to me….Ugh! Whatever.”

“Hmmm. Well, I am a fireman…I can rush you to the burn unit if you want?”

You glanced back at him to see he was absolutely kidding, his eyes now twinkling with mischief. “Hilarious.”

“Just thought I’d offer.”

“Mmhmm…” You nodded out the door. “Well, are we having this date, or what? I could use a distraction, I guess.”

“Ah, that’s the enthusiasm I was looking for,” he joked, motioning for you to lead the way.

You weren’t sure why it surprised you, but your day definitely got better the moment Bucky showed up. He’d taken great care to make sure you were laughing the whole way to dinner.

He’d taken you to a Japanese restaurant, conveniently located halfway between your apartment and the firehouse, because he personally knew the owner. When she first saw Bucky walk through the door, her eyes lit up, and she swooped in to grab him and hug him tightly. He hugged her back with such ferocity, and a fondness you’d never seen from him before.

Now the two of you were seated across from one another, at a small table near the kitchen.

The entire restaurant was comprised of the main dining area and then the small kitchen in the back, but the way it was laid out and decorated made it feel like it was twice its size. Hand-painted designs played out scenes from history and mythology all along the bright yellow walls, while heavy red curtains and red tablecloths brought you back down to reality.

So far, the date was going a little too well. “You won’t be called out again, right?”

Bucky shook his head, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “Not tonight, no. I swapped on-call shift with Steve so I could be here, uninterrupted.”

A warm feeling spread through your bones, seeping into your heart a little, though you’d never admit it. When was the last time someone put effort into spending time with you? It had been…well, you couldn’t recall, but it had been a long time.

Bucky must have noticed a shift in the atmosphere around you both, because he started fidgeting in his chair. You wondered what could have brought on his discomfort, when he was the one to make such a bold statement.

“I used to live in an apartment above this place,” he explained quietly, his eyes traveling to the staircase in the back of the room. “They were very gracious landlords when I first struck out on my own. She and her husband treated me like family. Her husband passed away last year, so I try to stop by and see her as often as I can.”

You let your own eyes wander over his features while he was lost in thought. His brown hair was getting a little long, and his blue-grey eyes were contemplative. His eyes had little laugh lines around them, and you saw a scar across his chin. Maybe that was from a fire fight gone awry; you’d have to ask him sometime.

When his eyes met yours sooner than you were expecting, you saw surprise flash in them. “You’re staring at me. Was it something I said?”

“No.” You shook your head, feeling your face heat up a little at being caught observing him. “You just haven’t told me much about yourself before.”

“Ah. Well, there’s not much to tell. I was born and raised upstate. My parents moved a little closer to the city, though, after…”

You were almost afraid to ask. “After what?”

His fists clenched on the table, and when he noticed, he moved his hands to his lap. “When I was eighteen, I had just left to go to school down here in the city. My parents were off playing cards with the neighbors, and they left my little sister alone.”

Bucky’s eyes dulled and his expression darkened for a moment, but he shook it away before looking back at you. “She had some kind of candle burning, then they think she fell asleep. There wasn’t much left of the house after they were done putting out the fire.”

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your heart aching for him. You had a sudden urge to try to fix everything, though you knew that was not only absurd, but impossible.

“That’s why I became a fireman, anyways. I wanted to help prevent other families from going through that if I could.” He averted his eyes. “So, tell me why you went into the advice business.”

It was pretty obvious that he was not comfortable talking about his past any longer, so you indulged him this one time. “I didn’t get into the advice business. I got into the therapy business, at least I wanted to.”

“Why, though?” He lifted his curious gaze to meet your eyes again. “What made you decide that was the career for you?”

You didn’t answer him for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts. After his big revelation, you didn’t want to sound like an idiot. “Ever since I was a kid, when someone else was hurting and they didn’t deserve the pain, I hurt, too. If a kid was bullied, I comforted them. If a stray cat was hungry, I fed it. I just-”

You looked down, fiddling with the tablecloth in front of you. “I’ve been told I am empathetic. Over the years, it got to be too much, and it would weigh me down. So I decided that if I could channel it into something more productive it wouldn’t hurt me as much. I don’t know if you noticed, or anything, but I have a hard time letting people get close to me.”

“It sounds like self-preservation.”

Your eyes flickered up to Bucky’s, and while you were expecting judgment, you only saw understanding in them. “Really? Because the guy on the live stream today, the one with the wedding I inadvertently helped cancel, basically told me that I’m a life-ruiner. I’m not going to be able to get over that anytime soon.”

Bucky visibly flinched, but he coughed to cover it up. “Let’s just have a nice meal and forget work and our pasts and anything else but the two of us, okay?”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all night,” you admitted, reaching for your sake. Things were getting too sad and deep here, and you didn’t want to chase him away yet.

The owner came over just then with both of your plates in her hands, and your stomach rumbled in appreciation at the delicious food she placed in front of you.

“Thank you, this looks amazing as always,” Bucky told her, laying on his typical charm with a smile. The gloom his eyes held earlier was gone, and for that you were grateful.

“You are welcome. Maybe next time you won’t take so long to visit?” She turned her eyes to you, her eyebrows raised. “And you, good for you for putting up with this one. I hope he doesn’t scare you off like he did the last one.”

That must have been a sore spot for him, because he cleared his throat and gave her a nod. “I’m sure I’ll swing by again soon.”

“Good.” She gave a sharp nod to you both, then disappeared through a swinging door into the kitchen.

“What was that about? You scared off your last date? Should I be worried?” You tried to sound like you were kidding, but you were wondering why she would bring it up.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, taking a bite of his food. “Don’t worry about it.”

Instead of pushing the topic, you decided to follow his lead and eat your dinner. You even beat Bucky to a clean plate, leaning back with a satisfied groan. “That was amazing, but I’m too full to move.”

Bucky laughed, the little lines you’d noticed earlier finally making an appearance as he stood. “No dessert then?” He gave you a mischievous glance as he pulled out his wallet and laid some money down on the table.

“Let me pay my half,” you offered, reaching into your bag as you stood up too.

Bucky’s hand covered yours before you got very far. “Let’s just head out. I don’t like extended goodbyes.”

“Okay.” You let him take your hand in his and lead you out the door.

Outside, under the weird orange light from the restaurant’s sign, without any warning at all, Bucky cupped your jaw and kissed you for the first time.

If he’d meant it to be a chaste kiss, you wouldn’t know, because you moved closer and deepened it almost instinctively. His other arm wrapped around your waist, locking you tightly against him.

It felt really good to be wanted.

Bucky pulled back after a moment, looking more than a little disheveled and breathing hard. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

“Right now, on the sidewalk?” You made a face. “Can’t we wait until we’re indoors somewhere?”

“I don’t want to go any further with this-“ he gestured between the two of you, “-without talking about it.”

“Have you murdered someone?”

Now it was his turn to make a face. “No.”

“Are you…seeing someone else?”

“No, I’m not.”

There was only one logical explanation left, and it hurt to even say out loud. You felt your chest tighten as your anxiety made its presence known. “It’s me, isn’t it? You just aren’t into me? Well, at least you tried, you know, that’s more than most men, and-“

“No,” Bucky interrupted, his hand lifting to brush your cheek gently. “That’s definitely not it at all, I just…I’m worried that when I tell you, you won’t want to see me anymore.”

“What is it then?” you breathed, feeling like your insides were tying in knots. “Because I don’t exactly have a lot of self-confidence, Bucky, and I really need to know.”

He took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly as his eyes searched yours. “It’s a long story. I-“

You could have cursed the entire planet when his (new) phone started going off, interrupting him with an emergency alert. “I thought you said you weren’t on call tonight?”

“If it’s a big enough emergency, I don’t have a choice. I’m really sorry. I don’t want to have a short conversation about this, or text about it. Can we hang out tomorrow?”

“Okay, I will carve out some time for you tomorrow. But we’re doing something that I want to do for once.”

“You got it.” He leaned over and kissed your cheek, then walked backwards slowly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Can you get home okay?”

“I think I can manage the three blocks to my apartment. Be safe.”

“You, too.” With a final wave, Bucky turned and jogged up the road to the firehouse.

You sighed, holding your bag a little closer as you walked the other way to your apartment.

There was no way you would sleep peacefully that night.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

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