#instead we’re going on four years of this. and ppl just act like life is normal again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bobcathoneybee · 3 years

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that’s some next level catering to a yt person. reasons will become more clear as we go along for the ride. esp hurtful bc of everything going on in the last year alone. twinkie never rang more true until this year.

one. around xmas 2020:

“whatre you doing for nye”

“oh im going out to a small gathering”

“oh with who?”

“I DONT HAVE TO TELL YOU”

“whoa. okay...”

i was just asking since he NEVER wanted to go out to anything related to NYE in the five years. the reply was always, “YOU can go, i will be at home.” so see how i can be confused? also the spanish/grapes tradition? what happened to never not doing it? “oh last year really sucked so i dont see how doing it will help” cop out.

two. NYE to ring in 2021:

“how does this look?”

“i think you should button it, looks more put together”

little did i know i was helping him dress to impress new girl. that in itself was just rude and so disrespectful to me. if you’re going to see someone new. figure it out yourself.

a few days later he decides to finally tell me bc he knows he’s been acting so damn weird. but i dont think it’s bc he respects me too much (his rationale). i actually think it’s bc he feels guilty, and telling me will make HIM feel better, which was the driving factor for the previous Oct when he was not letting me pay for packing supplies and helping me pack. “it’s time (for me to start dating again)... weren’t you dating someone when you asked me about the boat noodles?” “NO. i was talking to someone and it was ONE date, which conveniently fit in the schedule while on my way home.”

three. a week before my bday:

“how was your weekend? what did you do?”

“oh K and family drove down in an RV so i was at my parents’ house”

“you went over both days?!”

“yeah”

“did you take pics of the RV or with family?”

“no”

in retrospect, i wonder if she was intro’d to the whole family that weekend. esp after seeing the pics from first friends gathering a few weeks later (two down).

sometime this week, he tells me that he’s thinking of taking june 1 off bc he wants to take me out to lunch for my bday. my bday is 5/31. so i’m like huh, cos it’s the day after. it’s the weekend. he doesn’t like to talk to ppl on the weekend.

four. my birthday:

bcb calls me in the morning but i miss it bc i wasn’t up yet. i called back at 230p or so and he doens’t pick up. calls me back around 430p and says he was at a bbq with some friends.

i believe this was when my spidey senses started tingling again. i bit my tongue and didn’t ask during lunch the next day bc it would make for such an awkward ride home. and me thinking oh he spent my actual birthday with new girl. i see.

five. convo from last week:

“whatre you doing this weekend?”

“oh i’m getting together with the guys bc it’s the first time we’re seeing each other since the pandemic started”

“ohh okay tell them i said hi!”

BET HE DID NOT TELL THEM I SAID HI. *side eye

six. social media that night, pics happened to pop up as i was doom-scrolling:

bcb likes to untag himself in things so i duno if R tagged him at all or if it was removed after he received the tag notif so that i wouldn’t see it.

either way, i was hit in both places since it’s posted on more than one platform.

wasn’t sure if they were still dating until i saw the pics. was finally able to put a face to the name. the name bc someone mentioned it to me thinking i knew her first AND last name. how absurd. why would i know this bit of info to begin with? maybe bcb needs to be more clear with what he’s telling his sibling about his dating life and how that relates to how he’s treating me.

seven. thursday, 6/17:

convo #1: in the afternoon -

“hey whatre you doing friday?”

“i’m not sure yet, why?”

“i’m having lunch with a family friend, thinking i could stop by (before my family dinner) since i’ll be in the area.”

“oh i was thinking of going to my parents house but i haven’t decided yet.”

“oh, okay”

convo #2: on my way home from dinner in the city -

“did you decide if you’re going to your parents house tmrw?”

“i’m probably going to hang out with some friends”

“oh okay.”

realized “friends’ is codeword for new girl.

oddities in behavior:

bought a new bike even tho he won’t use the rowing machine he purchased last summer that is LITERALLY sitting in his apt, doesn’t even need to go outside and see ppl. how many more times will he use it? not sure. it depends on how much how big the drive in proving me wrong is for this sort of thing.

watches hockey now. NEVER watched it before nor was he super interested. seems like he picked it up recently so there’s something to talk about if nothing else. (after breaking his NYE tradition)

went to a playoff game on a WEEKDAY. HE NEVER did that. to DRIVE to LI on a weekday for that sort of thing. complained that the tix were exp ($200+ each). and i’m like then why did you get them? “well they’re for the playoffs” “oh i didnt think you even liked hockey” i’m going to guess he paid for it bc someone wanted to go, and a topic they can connect on.

for trips and tickets to things, i usually split down the line and exclude a trip dinner or a few smaller things bc he says he got it and would like to pay for it. not sure yt ppl would offer to pay back in general. it’s an asian thing to offer/not let others always cover no matter how generous we know them to be. it’s to “not take advantage” bc we know better. and it’s considered rude to have someone else pay all the time.

at this point, it’s the emotional part that i’m supplementing (if it’s a missing piece) bc i have no idea if hes ever talked to her in regards to concerns about his life in general or if he’s still putting up some facade and only wants her to see the presentable side.

he didnt do his usual NYE tradition of the grapes this year on top of GOING OUT to something with other ppl present. he would rather invite ppl over to his place and provide entertainment and food instead of ever going out there. that is MAJOR.i cannot even begin to explain how impt doing this is to him. but not doing it and bending over backwards already. he NEVER misses the grape thing during the countdown no matter how “bad” a year may be. it’s like him having to watch it’s a wonderful life before xmas every year. it’s a thing he does NOT miss.

maybe it’s a mid-life crisis thing, like buying the car and then sort of regretting it bc it’s another thing to pay for so therefore has to stay at his job longer. btw, there were weird crumbs in the crevices of the front passenger seat the day after my birthday (when he picked me up), and then the whole actually voluntarily hanging out with ppl for a change. he absolutely hates being around ppl, yet he’ll do it for her. i’m sensing a pattern here for how he treats and changes for yt girl vs me and i didn’t even plan that many outings with my own friends for him to go to, max once every half year for a triple date.

but again, it’s like when we broke up, he removes things he can control when he’s super stressed. job he cannot control so the next thing to remove was me bc he can control that. now he’s finally thinking of leaving current job bc he has a sufficient amount saved. guess who helped him itemize and estimate his sinking and emergency funds? such a clown.

i’m done. i can’t do this anymore. it’s taking a toll on my mental health. all this walking on egg shells all the time when we speak on the phone/FT on every single workday/weekday. what C said about the situation rings true. i hope it happens. <^>

this brings me back to something i posted on my finsta:

“if you have to choose between me and her, choose her. because if you really loved me, there wouldn’t be any other choice.”

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janiedean · 7 years

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(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff.

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

#mafia #mafia for ts #Anonymous #ask post

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misstinfoilhat · 5 years

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I have a prompt if you like it :) I'd LOVE to read some parental Roy or Havoc where Ed or Al start wondering or already know but struggles with accepting or having people know he's not straight, and him going to the parental figure to talk about it or "subtly" "asking for a friend". I feel like this could work even tho they're not that close, similar to how many ppl choose to come out to s/o they're not that close to first (yk bc if they mind at least it wasn't s/o very close to them to lose)

All right! My first prompt. I’m gonna try to write it- I’ve had some time to think about it now, and I hope it’s what you want! The door to Colonel Roy Mustang’s office flung open, slamming into the wall behind it, leaving yet another imprint telling any visitor that Edward Elric had been here. Roy growled silently, pinching the bridge of his nose while assessing how much the damage would cost to fix once he finally moved his way up the ranks and left this office to the next stringed puppet. “Report,” Edward announced obnoxiously, hurling the crumpled paper onto the desk in front of the exasperated man and immediately turned to march back out. Instinctively, Roy reached out and grabbed the red coat that floated in front of him, and was able to drag the brat back. Edward grunted in annoyance, and crossed his arms defiently, while Roy picked up the paper to look it over. “Fullmetal... Is this crayon?” Roy exclaimed in disbelief. “What? I didn’t have a pen!” Edward complained in response. “But you had a yellow crayon?” “I borrowed it from some kid on the train. He said I couldn’t have the red one.” Roy had no idea how to answer that. Instead, he covered his expression with his hands, dragging them down his face wearily. “I can’t... I can’t send in a report to the Fuhrer, barely legible in yellow crayon, Fullmetal. Even that tiny brain of yours has to understand that.” “Hey!” Ed shouted angrily.“That’s what you get for demanding the report the second we’re back in Central, bastard colonel!” “How naïve of me to think that you somehow would be able to access a pen on a four-day train ride.” Edward pouted and blew raspberries at his superior. With mismatching arms still crisscrossed, he turned his face away and pointed his nose towards the ceiling in obstinance. He shot a quick glance towards the door, and Roy realized that he seemed to have a worry knitted in his eyebrows. Roy pondered for a moment, suddenly realizing what was missing. “Edward, where’s Alphonse?” Edward froze up, only seeming to hold his arms tighter. Roy couldn’t help but notice the inner turmoil probably raging inside the fifteen-year-olds brain at his questions. Damnit. He didn’t have time for this. “Fullmetal, talk to me or I swear I will have you court marshalled for wasting my time.” “You can’t do that,” he retorted but didn’t look entirely sure. He did a double-take, watching the exit longingly before groaning loudly and collapsing onto the chair in front of the messy wooden desk. Roy didn’t say anything, just folded his hands and waited for the vertically challenged teen to spill. “We had a fight,” he finally muttered, defeatedly. Roy wanted to roll his eyes. This wasn’t some kind of school counselling office. Talk about wasting his time. He was not paid to sit and hear about two young brothers having a quarrel. But then again, if this was any other teens, they probably would be in school, and having this conversation with an actual counseller. He had made damn sure that didn’t happen. God, he hated karma. “Go on,” he heard himself say, settling in for a tedious recital consisting of “he said, she said”. “I don’t know... He’s just been acting really strange ever since we left Xenotime. I mean, it was a pretty strange mission, but he’s just been really quiet, or irritable and unreasonable when finally speaking, ever since.” Roy swiftly glanced across the report for clarification. “Ah, yes. Where you met those two brothers that pretended to be you two,” he confirmed. “Yeah,” Edward sighed silently. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. He snapped at me when I tried to ask and went straight to the library once we arrived here.” Edward looked absolutely beat by this. The sorrow in his golden eyes twinged something in Roy’s heart, and he tried to get rid of the useless pain he felt for his depressed subordinate. But, he already knew that he wasn’t going to be able to concentrate on his work for the rest of the day if he didn’t at least try to help. He exhaled deeply to be overly dramatic. “To be fair, you are pretty insufferable,” he murmured with a cheeky grin. Some of the well known Elric-fire could once again be recognized in the kid, as Ed reacted to his words But as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared again. “I can try to talk to him if you want?”

Even Roy was shocked by the words that left his mouth. That was not what he was going to say. He was just kinda trying to lighten the mood with some... ill-timed jokes. Shit. That karma again. “I guess you could try,” Edward sulked, slightly unwilling to admit that he was, in fact, very relieved. If Roy demanded to know what was going on with Al, Alphonse wouldn’t dare to react the same way as he had done with him.

The small hallway between the offices and library was way too short. Before Roy had even figured out what his opening line would be, he was standing only a few feet from the boy. Alright, Roy-boy. You can do this. Think like Maes. What would Maes say? Whatever you say to a fourteen-year-old boy’s soul stuck to a giant suit of armor of course... This is gonna be a shit-show.

“Alphonse,” he greeted carefully, closing the distance between himself and the suit, seated crosslegged on the floor between a tower of books. Alphonse looked up from the text he was reading. “Oh. Hi, Colonel Mustang.” Edward was right. The kid seemed different. His voice, which was usually so cheery and sounded so energetic, was just a flat mumbling. Also, it always seemed so important for Alphonse to greet the Colonel properly with respect. Now, he was already back into the pages of the book he was reading.

“Are you... reading something useful about the stone?” he tried instead, hoping that would trigger the boy’s talkative side. That didn’t happen. All of a sudden, Al startled violently, slamming the book shut and hiding it behind his back. “I- no, no. I- that was the wrong book. I was gonna get the one next to it,” Alphonse blurted out, fidgeting around- making sure the book was safely hidden behind him and a couple of the rest of them lying with spine facing him, obscuring their titles. That was certainly strange... Wait, did they have porn in that library? Gosh, maybe that would make research slightly more... No. No, no, no! Focus. “Is anything the matter?” Roy tried instead, shaking himself out of his curious musings. “No,” Alphonse replied way too quickly, desperately starting to bag up the shielded books. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired... or, err... you know. I just need some peace and quiet after the long mission.” “Your brother said you two had some kind of fight. Is that what’s been bothering you?” Alphonse visibly paused, his arm still tucked inside his small brown leather bag. Maybe, just maybe... He could talk to the colonel about this... No. No, he couldn’t talk to anyone. Nobody could know. His brother would hate him if he knew he had these strange... he wouldn’t call them urges- he wasn’t actually sure if he was even able to have those- but feelings. Feelings he shouldn’t have towards someone he definitely shouldn’t. “You know, for a suit of armor, you’re pretty expressive,” Roy chuckled, leaning lazily on the door frame. “What?” What had he expressed? Did he know? How could he know!? “It’s your body language. Which, I guess is expected. You don’t really have too many other ways of showing your emotions.” “I... I guess not. What,” he needed to be careful of what he was saying. One slip up and his life would be even more over than it already felt. “...what do you think I’m I portraying right now?”

“Honestly? You look terrified.”

Oh. Fuc-freak! When Alphonse didn’t answer, instead only kept staring at his book-bag, Roy took it as permission to continue.

“You know, your brother is pretty worried. He couldn’t even think of any good retorts to my short jokes.” Alphonse tilted his head towards the colonel for a moment, before lowering his gaze again, clearly guilt-ridden. “I didn’t mean to hurt him,” he uttered finally. “But he was just pestering me- going on and on about how I was acting strange and I just... didn’t want to talk to him about it...” “He’s not mad, he’s just wo-” “...I mean, I didn’t hit him that hard anyway.” “...rried. You punched Fullmetal?”

“I- The bruise on his cheek wasn’t me, that was this... other kid. Russel, his name was. Mine didn’t leave a mark, I don’t think...”

Roy slowly blinked, trying to digest all of this information. If there was anything in the report about Ed being in a fistfight with some other kid, Roy hadn’t been able to decipher it from the colorful chicken-scratches on the piece of paper on his desk.

But, that was not what this was about.

“Listen, Alphonse. I get that this...whatever it is that is bothering you, is hard to talk about. I’m not sure if I’m the right person for you to talk to anyway. But it’s clearly bothering you a lot. I just think you’d maybe feel better if you talked about it.” Hesitant, he got closer to the hulking armor and lay an awkward hand on his shoulder piece. Alphonse went silent and stayed silent for a long time. Roy was starting to worry if he had hit some kind of off switch when Alphonse finally met his gaze.

“How... how does it feel like to be in love?” That was not what Roy had expected. He wasn’t sure just what he was expecting, but this would probably be one of the absolute last things. But, he had also been a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush once upon a time, more years ago than he liked to think about, so this should be within his comfort zone. Somewhat.

“Uh, well... I guess it’s different for everybody but... I guess the first thing I usually feel is a tingling sensation in my stomach.”

“I... I can’t feel that,” Al sulked. Something in his voice had turned more desperate, which only made Roy feel panicked. A different strategy, then.

“Well, that’s not the only thing do. You... you enjoy her company and want to spend more time with her than other people in your life I guess. She’ll make you feel accepted for who you are, hopefully. You... usually find her physically attractive too.”

Thoughtfully, Alphonse nodded, unfortunately not seeming any more uplifted.

“Anything else that’s on your mind?”

Alphonse hesitated. “And... what if the person you... you love... isn’t a she?”

Roy wasn’t able to hide his surprise at that. Al visibly recoiled and waved his hands frantically.

“N-not me. I’m talking about... about someone else. Someone I met at the mission.”

Roy looked at him skeptically. “Uhu,” he murmured. He wasn’t about to point out the ‘I can’t feel tingles in my stomach’ part. If this was how Alphonse needed to handle this, it would have to do for now. “And this someone, is he afraid of these feelings?”

“Very,” Alphonse answered immediately.

“Well,” this was definitely out of Roy’s comfort zone. “You should tell your friend that he probably has a lot of accepting people around him, who’ll love him unconditionally. And that... the people who don’t, don’t matter. It will be hard at times. There will be people who’ll discriminate against him and make him feel small and unimportant, but he’s not. As long as he remembers that, I think he’ll be okay.”

Roy had Alphonse’s full attention now. In his awe, Alphonse hadn’t realized that he had froze in motion. The last book, the one he’d hid behind his back, was clutched in his left hand, while he was holding the bag in his right.

The title of the book read clearly “Understanding sexuality”. Roy had seen the book before. It was one of the books recommended in the academy. There was a readlist for those who chose to pursue interrogation techniques and profiling.

Roy nodded faintly towards the book. “That’s a good read. I read it during my time at the academy. You should recommend it to your friend too.”

If Al could blush, he would have. He quickly stuck the book into the sack. “Y-yeah, I’ll do that. Thank you, colonel. I feel a little bit better now.”

“Good,” Roy said honestly, aware that this would not be over anytime soon. But it was a start.

“And Alphonse...” The helmet perked back up. “I’m pretty sure that your friend has a brother who loves him very much and will not think any less of him if he shares what on his mind. I think he will be proud.”

Alphonse replied with a couple of rapid, shaky nods and wrapped the strap of the bag over his shoulder and got up from the floor. “I hope so. Thank you. I should probably take brother home now. I think I need to apologize to him for acting irrational. And for punching him.”

He started walking, and Roy quickly matched his pace to walk beside him, holding a reassuring, much sturdier hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about him. I’m sure he deserved it.”

“Al!” a shrieking voice yelled from the open door in Mustang’s office. Edward stood, annoyance and uneasiness rivaling as his main expression. This time, Roy noticed the faint, yellowing bruise on his cheek. He also had a clear, starting black eye which must have darkened in his time waiting in his office.

“I’m okay, brother,” Al exclaimed with a prominent lightness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. Roy smiled.

Edward looked unsure, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated about if he believed him or not.

“Okay, I’m glad. Let’s go home,” Ed decided and walked over to where the two considerably taller figures stood, just outside the office. He shot a questioning glance towards Roy.

“Yeah, you probably should,” Roy agreed easily. “Fullmetal needs to re-write his report so it’s ready at my desk at nine tomorrow morning.”

Before Edward could get to physically attacking his superior officer and risk actually getting court marshaled for giving Mustang a matching black eye, Al quickly caught him and carried him gingerly under his arm out of the offices, leaving an echo of curses and other profanities behind them as the disappeared out of the HQ. Roy wasn’t actually expecting the report in the morning. If Alphonse decided to wear his heart on his sleeve and tell Edward about what he was going through, the brothers had a long night ahead of them.

Good thing they had each other. If it was anyone else, things might be a lot more difficult. It would still be, but a child that had offered up his arm after already having lost a leg to save his little brother from dying, wouldn’t make that sacrifice go to waste. Al would still be Al. And Ed inevitably would keep on being Ed. Nah. They would be alright.

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mysassysophzblog · 5 years

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Psalm 94

13 JANUARY 2019

- misguided assumption that new year will almost always be good (Lam3:22-23) yet who can assure that this is true upon others (total depravity)

- in scripture, there is no promise of prosperity and good health but that death is always there; yet we fully realize that the joy that comes with being the child of God will only be realized in the coming age

- in fact what happens in this world drive us to look upon Christ

- Psalms: a series of comfort that is not all airy-fairy, overly optimistic but rooted in deep pits of pain yet radically focused on God’s promise n His name

- nowhere in our plan anticipates a disaster to occur yet a sober understanding of our sin-marred world necessitates us to expect it

- our bible gives us permission n license to cry out to the Lord in times of need

- Psalm 94 O God who avenges (NIV) = O God of “vengeance” vs Rom 15:33 God of “peace” ~fountain n source of peace; God of “justice”, God of “hope”

- A God intimately in our lives, who cares and casts judgement; does God seem a bit too petty? vengeance (act of justice, legitimate judiciary) is not revenge (act of passion, to personal issues)

- Rom 12:18-19 “Do not take REVENGE, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to AVENGE; I will repay;’ says the Lord”

-Vengeance belongs to God and not humans because our emotions degrade out vengeance into revenge (flawed judgement)

-Rise up: not to call God awake, but a call to ask God to ascend to his judgement seat: a symbol of authority and power, specifically for the judge as he performs his duty

- God’s vengeance is not arbitrary, but to the evil what they deserve

- psalmists know that God is ultimately aware that God sees humanity and will eventual cast justice: the Q is not whether or not God will do this but WHEN he will do this

- who are the wicked? characteristics of the wicked then share a lot of similarities with that in this world today

- “arrogance in speech”: hubris ~blasphemy, as if God is not there; not just satisfied with doing evil but boasting in it (rather than hide in the dark n their guilt)

- when u discard the presence of God, u lose a point of reference, a sense of morality--rid of ideas like guilt n shame, release individuals capable of all sorts of evil

- shame as a product of sin, since Adam n Eve ate the fruit; when Jesus comes, there is no shame but in this world, shame is a gift fr God to guard us from what we are capable of -- laying down a world with no constraint, opening a floodgate of immoral living (indulgence)

- “crush n oppress God’s ppl” ~ persecution on believers: that doesn’t necessarily mean that persecution is a bad thing

- an observation made by a theologian: “church has always thrive at the margin of society rather than bring the centre of power”--Christians are not called to dominate the world thru our influence but thru our humility n love

- not to fight back but as witness to his glory

- not whether the oppression would come but when

- oppression/exploitation of the weak (foreigner, widow, orphans)

- 1, wicked has no regard for God 2, think they can get away with the crimes they committed

- foul acts are no surprise, for as they do not recognise the God of the universe, these things seem to be normal

- we are tempted to ask “do you see this Lord?”

- instead of simply telling us that “yes God hears”, the psalmist uses rhetorical questions to point us to the foolishness and absurdity of the wicked v9

- If you and I who have imperfect eyesight can see and be repulsed by the wicked deeds of their crimes n their tears, how much more will God be able to do that

- and because God sees n hears, we’re sure that He will also act v22-23

- all four letter of the word “Lord” are capitalised = yaweh; psalmist is calling onto the Lord trusting that He would act

- this passage offers us a theology of suffering (of the righteous, not self-brought) which equips us for times of pain

- a suffering that is not immediately explainable, hard to find root cause: accident, illnesses, sudden circumstances: “why do bad things happen to good people?”

- Junior R.C. Sproul (after his wife died of cancer): “What do you mean ‘why do bad things happen to good ppl?’ That only happened once, and He volunteered.”--no one is righteous, no one is good (Rom)

- Rev21:4 speaks of God who wipes away the tears of everyone, an eternity marked by an absence of death, mourning of pain n crying n tears (our joyful hope n anticipation, tho not there yet)

- How do we make sense of all of this (troubles that come our way)? v12-14 blessed is the one you disciplined ... understood as a form of God’s discipline over His ppl

- we struggle to understand this because we put discipline primarily in the -ve category, yet the bible has a radically diff standard: Heb12:4 God is treating you as His children! For what children are not disciplined by their Father?

- The hardship we experienced from Him is in fact a form of discipline, not that He is lashing out at us (not an emotionally unstable father, for the weight of His wrath is already poured out on Christ); it is the tool He uses for our sanctification

- so wrapped around by our culture that God wants us to be happy not holy--Heb 12:10-11 yet it is never God’s plan!

- To be clear, happiness and holiness r not always at odds with each other, not mutually exclusive category--u can be both as a Christian as long as u understand happiness thru the lens of holiness

- God loves us, seen most vividly thru Christ--who is fully righteous yet oppressed, He’s also the one oppressed to make us righteous n good

- in the midst of suffering n pain this coming year, rmb this: if you are in His grip, He will never lose you; if He will never lose you, He will never stop loving you no matter who you are in Christ

- Whenever you are in a trial / suffering, rmb it’s God’s form of discipline for our sanctification--if you are in Christ, Jesus is already punished for you--it happens for God’s glory and our good

- we can be confident of this because God is sovereign over all: you might be surprised in the news of tragedy; here’s a news for you: God is not

- When you feel a sense of hopeless, feel like you’re not in control, rmb that if you’re in Christ, you belong to one who is absolutely in control

- “We might not know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow”

- God’s consolation is diff fr that of other ppl’s: they might be able to offer help or comfort of some sort but God is the one ultimately capable of changing the situation

- In His sovereignty, we know that whatever we’re going thru, it’s an expression of His love

- wounds that would never heal for the things that other ppl have done, at least in this world: The hope we have is this: God is our avenger who would administer perfect justice in the times of injustice

- While everyone focuses on your highlight reels, what really determines your character is what happens in the low lights and in the shadows n darkness

- Spurgeon (A malign n suffering creature -- John Piper): carried multiple thorns in life that reminded him of God’s discipline in love--married to a wife (Susanna) who bore him 2 twin sons but later discovered Susanna is infertile anymore n few years later, she struck with a disability n became invalid --> never heard him preach anymore + cannot participate in his ministry (busy ministry + sickly wife) + diseases eating away his body, public ridicule n slander eating away his soul + many more

- Spurgeon’s commentary on Psalm 94 despite all these: “The righteous need not wonder that they suffer now, for that has been God’s lot for His people all along. The death and the cries of His ppl, remember the martyr age, the cries of His suffering ppl, the Convenanters (Scottish prezzies, hunted as food), you must not wonder if the easy places on earth r not yours, or the sentinel duty to full into your lot. It is so and it must be for God has ordained it”

- How can a man in such affliction said sth like that? He read Psalm 94 and He believed it

- Yes, dream big, pray expectantly yet recognize that we as God’s children are not immune to the effects of sins n fall in this world, yet we remain hopeful because we know that the God sees

- As surely as the dawn -- by Emu Music

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furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog · 6 years

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cheap classic cars to insure for 17 year olds

"cheap classic cars to insure for 17 year olds

cheap classic cars to insure for 17 year olds

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i've just turned 17and i am wondering how much roughly will, lessons theory test and driving test all come too and insurance and also im a girl :)""

Can I Switch my Auto Insurance to Full Coverage Just To Get It Fixed????????????????

Currently I have liability auto insurance and i hit a deer. I have a really nice car but can't afford to get it repaired at the moment.(THE DAMAGES COSTS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!) Is there anyway that i can switch my car insurance to FULL COVERAGE JUST to get it fixed????? I heard that some people get full coverage and are able to fool the insurance company into paying for there damages, BUT HOW. IS THAT REALLY POSSIBLE WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT. IF SO , PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW. I REALLY LOVE MY CAR, BUT CAN AFFORD TO GET IT FIXED. I REALLY NEED SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""

Car Insurance Company Refuses to Insure my Brother!?

So, my brother got into a car accident about 3 years ago. He was driving his car and a motorcyclist ran into him doing around 90 mph, causing the bike to flip and the guy on the bike to dismount and skid across the freeway. The motorcyclist was lucky he didn't get run over or killed. It was deemed by both the insurance companies that it was the motorcyclists fault and when the motorcyclist tried to sue our insurance company, we got a letter from our attorney that the case had been dismissed and no further action was needed. Today, we got a call out of the blue from Mercury saying my brother couldn't be on the insurance anymore because they had settled with the motorcyclist for $100,000 and basically, if we didn't get him off the insurance, my whole family would be removed. We didn't receive any notification that Mercury was planning on paying this guy out or that our rates would be altered. We called the attorney's office but he wasn't in and we explained the situation and the receptionist said they might of just settled anyway without letting us know even though this whole thing wasn't even my brother's fault. My question is, if the accident was the fault of the motorcyclist and when the motorcyclist initially sued and was denied a settlement (there was no mention of a settlement on the attorney's letter; it just said that it was dismissed), how and why would Mercury give this jacka$$ $100,000 and deny my brother coverage? It's all very confusing and any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

What is the best photographer's insurance in the USA ?

What is the most complete insurance for photographers? (experienced pros only please)? MUST INCLUDE: 1.Injury of photo assistant (eg hired help getting hurt on the job carrying something heavy) 2.Camera/equipment theft and damage I'm not sure if the stuff the PPA sells is really fully complete or just cheap insurance Category Arts & Humanities > Visual Arts > Photography

What is the cheapest car insurance for young driver?

I'm 19 and had my NY license for 1 year now. I am a male and um I'm not looking for an expensive car. just a cheap one under 10g

Insurance for a Porsche Panamera 2011?

Im planning on buying a porsche about 3-4 years from now. Im getting my license this month and wanted to know will it really cost 2-3k a month for insurance on a porsche? Are their any cheap insurances you suggest?

Anyone claimed their Car a Wreak through their insurance before? what happens exactly?

Ok, so my car has Hail damage ALL over it from a recent storm. I am covered for insurance but i wanna know what to do?! i can't call them at this stage cos they call centre is down :( SO, if my car is worth $30,000 & the damage is worth about $5,000 - $7,000 how do they work out if it's considered a wreak or not? My premium is about $1000 (cos i'm under the age of 25) so what happens if they declare it a wreak? Do i just get a cheque and then they take the car? or what? If anyone has had their car considered a wreak through insurance before, please enlighten me :) Thanks x""

How do I obtain Auto Insurance Declaration Page(s)?

My insurance company is asking about Auto Insurance Declaration Page(s). I don't know what it is or how to obtain it. I have never had auto insurance before this is my first time. Where can I obtain an Auto Insurance Declaration Page(s)? Thanks

Cheep car insurance companies in London?

I am a new driver, Can someone advice me how can I get cheep car insurance and with who? Thanks.""

What company has the cheapest basic auto insurance for Atlanta Georgia drivers?

Shopping for auto insurance for Atlanta Georgia. I'm looking for the lowest rate for basic coverage.

Difference between policy holder and insured?

In Royal Sun Alliance my husband has two letters, one mentioned policy holder and the other insured. Whats the difference between them?""

Which car insurance company is cheap and good?

I have All State but its too expensive I am single so i have to pay $845 for 6 months

Insurance.?

Does anyone Own a Mustang GT Bullitt and by any chance happen to know how much the insurance usually is?

How much (approx) would insurance be for a 1.1 saxo?

The exact car is '2000 CITROEN SAXO 1.1I DESIRE BLACK VTR REPLICA' a few modifications (cd player with bluetooth, black front lights, smoked rear lights, front fogs, full colour coded vtr body kit, DTM mirrors, vtr alloy wheels, lowered on 40mm G-max springs) i'm not even 17 yet but i was wondering what would the cheapest possible *(legal) insurance be on this car thanks :) !!""

cheap classic cars to insure for 17 year olds

Does anyone know about whether or not you are required to have car insurance in California?

or does the DMV get to know and suspend your car if you do not?

I need a cheap insuance plan?

I am 18 and am needing a liability insurance plan. I live in Houston TX, the cheapest I have found is with Geico for 3 somthing a month, and I think that is INSANE!!!""

Insurance on a ford fiesta 1.25 GHIA?

im 17 and will be having my full license at the very latest January the 1st just wondering the average price for cheapest cover, 5 door 1.25""

""I am going to study in Ontario but I am a US citizen, how much is it to register my car and get car insurance?""

I live in Texas and i'm an 18 yr old female. I will be studying in Canada but I need to take my car to get from place to place. Does anyone know how much it costs to register the car, get car insurance, plates, License and whatever else needed? Thank you (:""

What is average cost of insuance?

what is the average cost of insurance for a 16 year old male with a Toyota Corolla.

What to do when rental car got damaged and I dont have insurance?

I rented a car from Enterprise and declined their insurance. I had credit card insurance. However I made a blunder of not initiating the rental in that credit card. While driving the rental car the tire blew out and the car hit the median and there is some extensive damage to the car. I am in deep trouble now as my credit car insurance will not work as I didnt initiate the car rental in that card. Is there any way that I can salvage this situation? Please help!!

How can I get cheaper car insurance?

I live in Toronto, but my address on my liscence is in a smaller town about an hour out of the city. The car that I have is registered on my husbands Toronto lisence. I want to buy insurance using my out of the city address so it will be cheaper. Would I be able to do this even though I technically live in Toronto?""

Car Insurance - No claims question?

If you have been banned for a year, and are now back and allowed legally to drive, can you continue to use/put down your no claims bonus. For example, if you had 9 years, then were banned for a year, can you put the 9 down this year? Or does the ban wipe that out? As the ban wasn't a claim on the insurance, can it still be used? Does anyone know, or any ideas where I could check this out? Looking for quotes online and Im not sure which number to put in.""

Where can i find cheap car insurance for a 17 year old male?

Its really starting to get on my nervse that i can not find any cheap insurance anywhere! Why do insurance companies in the UK want to make life so hard for young drivers? Yeah stasticaly the majority of us crash our cars. But why should the small majority of young drivers like my self have to pay the price and live with this stereotype by paying RIDICULOUS amounts of money?

Best insurance companies for 16 year old passed my test?

ok ive pased my test and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance""

Is it illegal to not have insurance?

I was looking online and saw something in my state for someone getting arrested for not having insurance. My car is insured, but the insurance is not in my name and is under someone else's name and they pay for it. Is it illegal for there not to be an insurance in my name as well?""

Will my car insurance premium go up?

I just recently hit a deer and the only car damaged was mine. I am covered under my policy b/cause I had comprehensive. Here's my question: Will my insurance premuims go up if I use the dealership's auto body shop and not the insurance company's auto body shop? This is the first claim I have had with this company and I have been with them for over 7 years.

Best way to insure my boots are kept in good condition.?

I just bought some nike hypervenoms and received them today. I just started breaking them in today by just walking around my house but I really want to make sure I take good care of them. I usually take really good care of my boots, but I just want some good tip and maybe some good product as well to use. I know my mom won't be happy buying me new boots after buying these ones, so I want to insure the longest life I can out of these.""

Why should anyone purchase insurance under Obamacare when there is no fine?

If everyone bonds together and refuses to purchase insurance under govt. intimidation this would be too large for the govt. to control and destroy Obamacare. Fine or not I will never ...show more

Baby not covered on partner's insurance policy?

Alright, here's my situation. I am on my partner's insurance through her job. Well, we are getting ready to start a family and our insurance will cover everything up until right after delivery. Since I am considered a dependent, and I am the one giving birth, the baby will not be covered. So, what I want to know is has anyone else been in this situation and how did you handle it? What is the best way to find individual, affordable, insurance for the baby? And in your experience, what is the average cost you pay? Any suggestions/help is greatly appreciated.""

Cheap car insurance places in michigan?

i am currently relocating and i need to find a very cheap insurance for my husband asap. he is 21 clean record and doesn't have much of a credit started. does anyone know what car insurance places that would be cheap less than 150 a month i know it varies for different people but I'm stuck and need a few ideas.

Motorcycles and insurance?

right now i have a bull blast and i want to upgrade to a faster bike that is better above 60 mph and riding 2 up. the problem for me is that i am 19 and insurance for me with the little buell is 200/yr. i want to get a gsxr 600 or a 600 ss but they are over 600/yr and thats too much. the only bikes that are still in the lower insurance bracket is a ninja 500 and 650 or an sv650. are there any other bikes that are cheap on insurance? or what are your opinions on these bikes?

How to get cheaper car insurance?

I haven't yet passed my test, or even got a car, but was just researching to see if i could afford it. and the cheapest I could find was 3,000 a year which is impossible for me seeing as I'm at college. I was just wondering does anyone know of cheap places? or ways to cut it down by a bit? I have no one else in my house who drives, or even owns a car. thank you""

What type of car would have the cheapest insurance? Over 25 but 2 dui's... I know... stupid...?

I just got my release for my license back and am looking for a new used car. I'm also trying to keep the insurance price down (I'm sure like everyone). Any suggestions on a type of car or insurance company that would be good to use please let me know. thnx

Do I really need Car Insurance?

I live in Kentucky. My car is not drivable at the moment and has not been for months. Since I can't even drive the piece of ****, do I even need Insurance? I'm paying to much for it anyway and I don't think I should be paying for something I'm not driving!""

When is the right time to buy life insurance?

My son is due on Valentine's Day. Should I already have life insurance, or should I wait until after I get married, which is happening on the 17th?""

Good deals on car insurance?

Ok so me and my wife have been insured by American Family Insurance and pay about $400 a year. My 17 year old son recently got his license and we want to add him to our policy. He barely drives (we only have one car), but we want to add his name just in case. When I asked Amer. Fam. Ins., they gave a quote for almost $1000 a year, which is more than double the amount I'm currently paying!! And that's with the Good Student Discount as well!! I was wondering if any of you guys know a reliable company that could provide a cheaper rate.""

Cheap car insurance?????????

Hi I'm a 22 year old male I passed my test 7 1/2 months ago I got my first car it's a ford escort 1.6 yr 1999 does any one know where I can get really cheap car insurance as it will only be used to take my two kids to school thank a lot.................

Give me a genral idea of how much car insurance would cost me?

Well cost my parents. I'll be sixteen this April but I won't be getting my license until July. I want to get a Mustang GT 2005 or 2006 but I think it somewhat falls into a category of a sports car so it raises the insurance right? What would be the difference between me driving that or a 2003 BMW? Oh and is there a difference between driving insurance and car insurance? Thank you so much! (And for the record I'm not some spoiled kid, I've been saving for this car for a very long time with money from my lifegaurding job)""

Is car insurance cheaper for older vehicles?

Well i have a 2007 Nissan Altima and i pay $116.67/month, and i was wanting to by an older camper van to live in. Would my insurance be cheaper on the van?""

cheap classic cars to insure for 17 year olds

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-anybody-have-clue-car-insurance-florida-cheaper-tyler-brewer/"

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