#is this longer than my commentary on the first and second david episodes? maybe

[sonkitty]

Crowley S2 Hair Post #8 Redone v2

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 1, The Arrival, finding out Gabriel is in the bookshop

I brighten and saturate some images below to help us see things.

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are both long. They are their longest length.

For the earlier parts of the story, longest-length sideburns happen when Crowley is in the bookshop and going to have a scene with Gabriel. In episode 5, this length questionably appears during parts of the ball when Gabriel's presence is given more focus and right before Crowley approaches Muriel. Episode 6 is where we'll eventually see more clearly this length is not exclusive to Gabriel's presence without humans around.

During the scene, Crowley says to Aziraphale, "You'll never guess who Shax was asking me about."

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, in the direction of where we assume Crowley's presence is, and he says, "Yes, I think perhaps I will."

During season 2, we never see these two cross the main bookshop threshold together with no one else already inside. Both times, Gabriel was already inside.

We do see two instances of them in the main bookshop floor with no one else around. In the first, Crowley entered from the stairs as Aziraphale was preparing for the ball in episode 5. In the second, Aziraphale entered from the threshold to the building in episode 6.

In those two instances, the sideburns were not as short as usually around as humans and not as long as when Crowley is around Gabriel without humans.

The story never told us if Crowley would already be having longer sideburns in these types of circumstances.

I think that look from Aziraphale is a recognition that the sideburns are that long on Crowley because yes, Gabriel is truly inside the bookshop with them, and Aziraphale's anxiety about the situation is further confirmed. They react to a supernatural presence and in this case, they lengthened more than they usually do with an extra supernatural being around.

I'll have more to say on the sideburns in the Story Commentary.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

This story wants the streak scene clearly in this scene. The bookshop is dim, especially with the shades being brought down. Still, despite that dimness, the streak is at one of its clearest points of presence on Crowley's hair.

When Crowley asks, "What...are you...doing...in...this bookshop?" there is a cut that starts where he starts when he is saying the "k" in bookshop and ends the question. During this one brief cut, I cannot find the streak. I can find maybe a little bit of the hair that looks more red where I expect the streak to be.

I've had a suspicion the streak is an after-effect of Crowley performing a Big Miracle from the first draft of the story, but after thinking it over and the various scenes where it may or may not appear, the pieces don't seem to line up with that idea. I'll still mention the initial theory with further details in the Story Commentary.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The hairstyle is quite different actually though we don't see it as much from the top as from the front. The sideburns are longer for a start, but it's also become more collected and tidy. The top front swoops further upward, like it did in earlier scenes, with a little tilt and curve to Crowley's right.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects | Earthly Objects Study - Crowley's Sunglasses)

Aziraphale mainly touches the shades as he brings them down.

We have arrived at our second Threshold Trick!

This one is The Sunglasses Trick.

The Sunglasses Trick is my personal favorite though it seems to me The Pocket Trick is the clear favorite of Mr. Gaiman, Mr. Tennant, and whoever else had a strong role in making the game. I don't know if you've noticed certain recent pictures of David Tennant using pockets, but I sure have. He even made a pocket with a car!

I also noticed the other day that the literal actual words, "the pocket tricks" are used in the dialogue during episode 4 in the minisode.

But anyway, let's get back to The Sunglasses Trick. Pockets will be back for extra difficulty soon enough.

Here's a GIF to start us off:

The Sunglasses Trick is the first Complex trick to start. It will not finish until The Final Fifteen of episode 6. It will be the first of three Threshold Tricks completed for that part of that episode.

My best guess for this one's core concept is, "Crowley's sunglasses are his door to himself."

That means the sunglasses are Crowley's threshold. His threshold has thresholds. The thresholds are the end pieces. Figuring that out in the game can be found through the subtle demonic hisses he does when removing them (and looking up diagrams of sunglasses since I didn't know this stuff). There are 3 total. For those touches, all five digits are ensured to be shown in the motion.

In the first two examples, the touch has the index finger and thumb focused on the end piece. I long thought the third example did too, but after re-examining it closely while drafting this post, I realized I was mistaken. In the third example, he actually uses the middle finger and thumb. The middle finger crosses under the index finger for the touch. I suspect there are complex pocket mechanics involved for that part to work as it does too because it is the only touch where the index finger obscures the thumb tip. Thumb tips are quite important for Door Mode.

Thresholds can also have thresholds because edges are thresholds. So, the edges of the end pieces are the thresholds of the thresholds of Crowley's threshold. He will touch those in the last touch.

Every Threshold Trick has things that make it special. A big truly special thing about this one is how it is layered. Certain things are switched along the way to reach that layer. This Threshold Trick has 8 touches total. The Single is one Triple. The Double is two Doubles. The Triple is three Singles. The first 3 touches are actually in episode 1 itself.

This first touch is Crowley removing his sunglasses for the first time in the story. He touches both end pieces with one hand.

Here is a basic run-down of how this one goes without knowing that advanced pocket mechanics are involved, copied and pasted with minor editing from my Threshold Tricks post:

Double #1 of the eventual primary Double (Episode 1):

Crowley removes his sunglasses touching two end pieces with one end. Both doors are opened. He puts the sunglasses on the dark horse statue and is not touching anything else.

Triple Part 1 of the eventual primary Single (Episode 1; Not Hissing):

Crowley removes his sunglasses before being summoned to Hell by touching the right end piece. He did not have a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect. His left hand eventually puts the sunglasses on a blurry mirror.

Triple Part 2 of the eventual primary Single (Episode 1; Not Hissing):

Crowley removes his sunglasses before throwing them on a desk by touching the left end piece. Soon after, he rings a bell. He did not have a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect.

Single #1 for the eventual primary Triple (Episode 2; Different Sunglasses and Hissing)

Crowley removes the first set of present day sunglasses while holding a Jane Austen book by touching the right end piece. He had a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect.

It is a Single because the next two demonic hisses will have different sunglasses.

For these demonic hisses, though I do not know why, I suspect he is actually required to be holding an earthly object.

Single #2 for our eventual primary Triple (Episode 2; Different Sunglasses and Hissing):

Crawley removes his Job era sunglasses by touching the right end piece. He had a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect.

While he does not appear to be holding an earthly object, crows are eventually turned into goats. These goats are what he initially transformed through his own power earlier in the story. As such, they are likely to be considered the earthly object he was holding.

Single #3 for the eventual primary Triple (Episode 5; Different Sunglasses and Hissing):

Crowley removes the second set of present day sunglasses by touching the left end piece. He had a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect. He is understood to be holding a glass of wine in his hand and later confirmed to still be doing so.

At last, the three Singles are done.

They have something that makes them different—the different sunglasses.

They also have something in common—Crowley hissed.

So, as a player, I figure it's time to merge these Singles so they can become the primary Triple of this Threshold Trick. Time to finish up the primary Double and the primary Single started earlier.

Triple Part 3 of the eventual primary Single (Episode 6; Not Hissing)

Crowley removes his sunglasses and holds them. When removing them, his right hand did so on the right end piece. He did not have a subtle demonic hiss as an added sound effect.

At last, there are three not hissing touches where no earthly objects were touched during the present day. That is a Triple to make the primary Single. The Trick is almost done.

Double #2 of the eventual primary Double (Episode 6)

Crowley puts his sunglasses back on. He touches the edges of the end pieces thresholds with both hands. Edges are thresholds, so he ends up touching the thresholds of his thresholds for his door to himself. On the front view, two sets of fingers are touching each other as one of the fingers of each pair touches each edge. From the back view, there are two visible digit tips with the thumb and index finger.

No earthly objects were touched the entire time before they were put on. That finally gives the primary Double for the Trick.

...

The above ends what was copied and pasted.

Another thing that makes this Threshold Trick special is that it is done by Crowley for Crowley. It is his own special move for himself.

This Threshold Trick was the fifth one I found and what made me realize they have names. As stated in a previous post, I realized "perfect" was appropriate for The Perfect Entrance Trick.

Putting these pieces together was the most rewarding part of this game for me because I had given up on finding it. I had somewhat found The Door Trick and The Window Trick without naming them just yet. One of the ways this game likes to trick a player—but clue them in too—is putting those two in The Final Fifteen rather close to each other. They are the two Simple tricks that are not The Perfect Entrance Trick. They start and finish in the same episode. The Door Trick is done for Aziraphale. The Window Trick is done for humanity.

I had started calling them Threshold Tricks and recognized they required a Single, a Double, and a Triple though I was calling them 1, 2-in-1, and 3-in-1 at first.

But in the bookshop argument alone when Crowley takes off and eventually puts on his sunglasses, there is not a Single, a Double, and a Triple. I don't remember if I saw a Single and a Double, but I know I sensed that scene by itself lacked something like that in common with the other Threshold Tricks.

So, for me, it was frustrating and confusing because shouldn't there then be a Threshold Trick for Crowley? Rule of Three?

I figured I was just wrong and looking for something I sensed that wasn't there.

Eventually, I realized the reason I had such a hard time finding it was because the touches take place over more than one episode. It was one of the Complex Threshold Tricks. Add in the layering described above, that made it so much harder to recognize. I had to have when he takes those sunglasses off memorized or at least be familiar enough to know when and where to check. Then look for a Triple that is three Singles? Not easy! I even had which set was three Singles and three parts of one Triple wrong at first.

When I did recognize the layering, it was a beautiful, mind-blowing realization.

I think there actually is a phrase that is supposed to be found for the move that does include the word, "Perfect". I'm not sure what it is, but my best guess is "Perfect Reversal". I haven't found any other words I would prefer to use. I don't like "Perfect Reflection," "Perfect Mirror," or "Perfect Switch". Fighting games certainly like reversals in their moves. The word "pocket" might also be meant to be in there somewhere, but if so, I'm not sure how it would go. I wouldn't call it a "Perfect Pocket," "Perfect Pocket Reversal," or "Perfect Reversal Pocket" myself.

Still, let's get to the pocket stuff.

I have looked ahead at possible pocket issues, and there is no chance I will ever figure out how pockets work with this Threshold Trick. I don't see how anyone could, but I believe it's supposed to be possible. I'll pay attention to the pockets and tell you about them along the way, to some extent, nonetheless.

The "easy" pocket thing to notice from the start is that this Threshold Trick is pocketed by the Doubles. A Double starts this Threshold Trick. A Double ends this Threshold Trick. In Earthly Objects, that's a pocket.

Here we are at the first of those Doubles to start the whole thing.

When the right hand goes up to remove the sunglasses, Crowley makes a pocket between his right arm, his chest, and lower part of his face from about the nose down. Another pocket he makes is between the middle finger and ring finger. Yet a third pocket he makes is between the middle finger, index finger, and his forehead. The pocket between the middle finger and ring finger closes during the touch and a tiny pocket is made between his nose and side of his palm.

With the sunglasses progressively being removed from his face, yet another pocket forms between his forehead, one of the temples, his middle finger, ring finger, and the lenses.

The pocket formed between those fingers and the palm then includes the bottom part of the lenses.

During all this pocket forming, Aziraphale's arm even enters the bigger pocket with Crowley's arm and chest. Aziraphale then makes a few more smaller pockets within it.

Another thing that happens during the actual removal of the sunglasses is that Crowley's actual left thumb is ensured to not be on screen.

As noted in the last post, my guess was the Tied Hands were retied to confuse me. I am definitely confused.

It is extremely hard to tell with the lighting, but as those sunglasses make their way to the dark horse statue, I can eventually see the tassels and clasps of the Tied Hands are pocketed into Crowley's vest. That means those thumbs and thumb joints are hiding. That's something they'll do much later on the exit in Heaven that ends The Bigger Thresholds Trick.

Well, this touch is starting this Threshold Trick instead of ending it. The thumb parts of the Tied Hands are then purposely not shown for the rest of this scene.

I don't know why. I just know that's what Crowley decided to do in the game as part of his advanced play.

More pockets form in the process as well. I don't have it in me to describe each one, sorry. One forms between the temples of the sunglasses and the statue before they are on the statue. Another is a big one that involves Crowley's right elbow visually in front of Aziraphale's actual coat pocket.

The lighting is most interested in some of the books in front of the dark horse statue itself.

I can't really be sure if Crowley's trying to make his left thumb joint more visible despite the left thumb hiding. If he is, it's when he's putting the sunglasses on the statue.

The Belt Head is visible between the vest tips with a little pocket formed above it, thanks to them. There are actually multiple pockets of hair though one is bigger than the others.

There are more pockets found and mentioned in the Story Commentary, but otherwise, that's all I have in me to go over pockets I don't understand here.

...

Once the shades are all down, the main earthly object touch doesn't happen until the end of the scene when Gabriel reveals the yellow feather duster.

In the dialogue, Crowley mentions Shax's name. Questions are given with the name "Jim". Gabriel says, "Hi there," which is a "Hello" equivalent. Crowley says Gabriel's name. Then Gabriel says his own name too. A notable, drawn out question is, "What...are you...doing...in...this bookshop?"

...

Story Commentary

I should probably start with referring to some other fan theories I read up on before starting this project. A really popular one at the time was this one:

The Magic Trick You Didn't See

I love that title so much more after my own find of The Door Catch. The Door Catch is not that author's core theory, but the title itself matches so well with my own findings. The Door Catch is the Magic Trick a lot of people didn't see, and it is very, very magical if an audience player in Earthly Objects is lucky enough to find it—which I was. I admit I don't fully understand The Door Catch because of the pockets, but I sense Aziraphale was supposed to be successful. I so very much wish I knew the words I'm missing for why it matters so much that the Metatron's reflection is caught in the window pane with Aziraphale's back. That's one of my bigger questions at my limited point in Earthly Objects.

I mean, a lot of people don't find the Threshold Tricks either, but I do believe The Door Catch is intended to be a special hidden Magic Trick audience members sense and are meant to find due to Aziraphale's character focus on magic tricks. More than once, I have seen a post questioning if he's thinking or saying "Trust me" like in The Bullet Catch in this particular cut before he enters that elevator.

The way I see it, the scene is a reference to The Bullet Catch...because it's The Door Catch. However, because pocket mechanics are so silly, the game's solution to that puzzle is actually, "Here goes nothing," because Aziraphale's at Ground Zero. That one took some time to sink in with me and was actually helped along by seeing such posts.

Some people sense there is a Magic Trick there even if they don't know silly pocket mechanics like word play, the Rule of Three in Earthly Objects, or how much Crowley is already trusting Aziraphale by setting the stage for him. After all, Crowley is not shown to be interested in performing magic tricks besides helping Aziraphale out on request.

Anyway, the actual core theory in the link is not The Door Catch or the existence of Earthly Objects. The core theory in that link is that the Metatron has access to the Book of Life and was editing it the whole time. Cool things found in that theory, in my opinion, for forming my own other theories, are that the disappearing Eccles cakes plate teaches the audience the rules of a game, mention of the Rule of Three, and even a mention of that dreadfully key magical word, "pocket".

Then another theory that founds its way to me was that this story takes place over months: It's a memory, and it's out of order. Memories were stitched together. Somewhere in the process Crowley, Aziraphale, and Gabriel made themselves forget something.

And these theories, these were the ones that really caught my attention:

Crowley’s Sideburns & what do they mean?

Ok, I love this theory that it could be some sort ...

I read those things, and my line of thinking went, "That [sideburns thing] was meant to be noticed." I am so, so obsessed with David Tennant as Crowley right now—and back then, so that gave me an excuse to do something with my obsession by seeing if I could figure out anything with the sideburns. If something is made that obvious, it shouldn't be that hard. Alas, it is because of pockets, but I didn't know better, obviously. I accepted an invitation to a game without realizing it.

So, with those things in mind...

Moving onto more on sideburns, when I initially started this project, one of my top questions was, "Who, in this fictional universe, is trying to tell us what they mean?" Because if the Metatron is editing the Book Life, why is he so obsessed with telling us so much about Crowley's sideburns, more saturated red streak of hair, and varying hairstyle changes? From my own theorizing, Crowley and Aziraphale—mainly Crowley—are actually the ones telling us about the sideburns. Their message is subtle because it's spread out in puzzle pieces, but it's there. It can be found in the looks, the dialogue, what is seen on screen.

As noted from my post about the scene in the park, based on his actions in the story—especially here, Crowley does not actually sense when the sideburns change in length. Whatever these sideburns do, they do not alert Crowley "Gabriel is nearby! Gabriel is nearby!" They alert us, for this earlier part of the story, but not Crowley himself.

Another question I had was if Crowley needed to look in a mirror to know the length changed, and I now think that for the most part, yes, he does. His sight is special, but he can manipulate it to get the mirror to show him the sideburns in his car because his car is showing him the mirror. Otherwise, he can get something like a verbal cue from Aziraphale when Aziraphale says Muriel is a "human" police officer with emphasis on the word "human". So then, Crowley doesn't need to look in the mirror. He's been informed that they are short indirectly.

As noted in my main sideburns post, I think the sideburns are related to memory, but I don't have much understanding of how. I suspect their longer length around angels is from a latent memory in the angels because of the rank clues spread throughout the story.

...

Here is more on my theory about the streak being an after-effect of a Big Miracle:

This story has at least two drafts. In the first draft, Gabriel also arrived with a cardboard box. The message on the box was different. The resolution was different and possibly quicker, involving at least Muriel, maybe Beelzebub too.

The plan was to create the story we were eventually given so that Gabriel and Beelzebub could get their happy ending.

There was a Big Miracle involved that Crowley either did alone or played a very big role in between himself, Aziraphale, and Gabriel.

The Book of Life was put in the matchbox. It is a threat. That threat is interested in Crowley. Muriel did whatever needed to be done to help. I'm not sure if Muriel was supposed to find it in Heaven. Their touching suggests they were because then that book is cleverly hidden in plain sight with Michael. Michael is the character most visibly interested in the Book of Life. That way, Michael can't access that book because they play Earthly Objects on instinct. They are not advanced and aware enough to know that thumb tips activate Door Mode or any other advanced methods to bypass such a method. That's still quite risky and dependent on luck with hoping Michael won't actually touch it that way.

As said, the idea was the streak is an after-effect of the Big Miracle.

This streak being this clear is the story's alert that we are definitely in Draft #2 for or later for most of the scene and possibly why Crowley is so scared. He doesn't remember what happened the first time because he forgot, which might have been on purpose. Gabriel forgot too. It's not as clear if Aziraphale forgot as well.

Mistakes could have been made or problems encountered along the way. The Metatron looks to be something of an invasive editor or opponent.

That one cut where I think the streak disappeared definitely put this idea into further uncertainty. The question in the dialogue is so drawn out, it could be an edit. If it is, it's very good because I can't find any easier tells or discrepancies in the bookshop layout. At most, I think maybe things to the camera's left of the pillar might not line up as easily as things to the camera's right of the pillar.

There are at least two other oddities that could be more difficult tells. Crowley's shoulder obscures where the plate of Eccles cakes would be. It's the only cut where Aziraphale, Crowley, and Gabriel are on screen together with having some of Aziraphale's left side in it and some of Gabriel's right side.

It's such an odd, confusing cut to notice. I found it on my last quick check before readying to publish this post because in my experience, it's good to check both frame-by-frame and by actively watching a scene a few times, just in case.

But there are just too many problems with this idea for when I also can't find the streak in various other scenes. I can make excuses up to a point, but then after awhile, I can't. Even though I don't think the streak itself adds up, a lot of the above is still along the lines of what I theorize for the story, considering other clues.

Going back to the earlier mentioned theory about the Metatron editing the Book of Life, a lot of stuff I found in my own analysis clashes with that idea, but some of it doesn't. The matchbox is my main hesitance, regardless of the streak theory. I mean, it could be some other book in the matchbox, such as a version of the Book of Job to be concerned with since the Book of Job is where the matchbox's quote is from. Plus, what about the briefcase that Aziraphale took to Edinburgh and disappeared? Was the Book of Life or the Book of Job hidden away with the Gabriel statue?

We know Agnes Nutter had another book. She likely knew it would be burned and had another copy wherever it needed to be. Where is it? Does it play a role in this story?

Maybe whatever is in the matchbox is not a book but some other type of ominous magical object.

There are plenty of alternatives, and I'm mainly going by clues based on Michael and Muriel instead of the Metatron and Aziraphale.

Like I said, this streak theory was not a strong one, but I may as well admit, that's where my own speculation went nonetheless. The next scene has the streak not shown right before Crowley exits the private room where it can usually be more easily found, which was the main other part of where this idea came from. That would be Draft #1.

I am not sure if Earthly Objects itself is a book that is a game the characters are in, but I at least lean a little that way because of the various readings that can be found in the game. The spaces read Crowley. The bookshop takes Muriel literally in episode 3. The Pocket Trick has hidden messages that require an audience player to figure out the words so that the messages can be read. The literal words in the Job minisode are part of how Job and Sitis keep their children alive. They literally lie aloud even if we can see they know they are lying. And so on.

...

Alright, moving on a bit from the sideburns and the streak, here's more on this particular scene itself.

This scene is fascinating. Crowley is terrified instantly. We've seen him terrified before, but that included trying to stay composed nonetheless when it came to Hastur and Ligur and not being able to really run when Satan was coming. This context is different, and Crowley is caught completely off-guard, also unusual. Aziraphale had been confused and only took a step back when Gabriel asked to come in. Crowley doesn't have that chance, so he has to just instantly back away.

There is zero doubt in Crowley's head that this being is Gabriel with something having happened to him whereas earlier Aziraphale told Gabriel who knew someone who looked a lot like him. I mean, I'm sure Aziraphale was relatively sure himself, but he gave and acknowledged that inkling of doubt, that there could be something else.

Not Crowley though.

And even though Beelzebub later refers to the fly holding all of Gabriel's memories as "all your you", we know bare minimum there are some things in this being that Crowley—and only Crowley—was able to tap into. That "institutional problem" part sounded like a little bit of Gabriel's actual memory to me. There were no purple eyes needed for it either.

Despite Crowley's utter shock, his Earthly Objects play is still aware enough to keep the thumbs and thumb joints of his Tied Hands' hidden during most of the scene. The Belt Head is not shown either. In the cut after the sunglasses were placed on the statue, I can find Crowley making only one pocket between himself and the screen. It happens when he backs away in fear. His watch looks weird in the blurred movement. Other pockets form thanks to the other characters in the scene, as we'll see.

I can also find that Aziraphale makes a pocket between his legs.

When Gabriel pulls out the feather duster, there are at least two pockets between it and him.

The feather duster also allows for at least three pockets to be made between it and Crowley, haha. Thanks Gabriel?

After that, Gabriel makes some more pockets when using the feather duster. One is between his arm and torso at first. Another is between his main body and the area he is dusting. Yet another is when he moves his arm some such that it visually aligns behind Crowley.

In a sense, his fingers visually touch behind Crowley's chest. There's even a thumb tip involved. In fact, I think a threshold is behind him that's to another part of the bookshop.

For taking note of the odd blocking of this story, the characters are notably separated a great deal in the cuts though not fully.

They interact but are blurred at times when supposedly on screen together. A lot of times only one of the characters is on screen, the audience left to assume it's because of distance and focus of who's talking or reacting.

The streak's disappearance is the one cut I can find with all three of them. That cut would also allow Crowley to be pocketed between the other two characters.

When Gabriel shows up, the blur switches between him and Crowley, ensuring both are not clear when we see them briefly in the same part of the scene together. Admittedly, in Earthly Objects, this type of thing seems to mean they are sharing in the scene. There is a pocket formed between these two as well where Gabriel appears. It's between Gabriel's left arm and Crowley's right ear.

Yellow is an important color in this story and not just because of Crowley's beautiful snake eyes. Yellow is the color hit twice in the Rainbow Connection during The Door Trick and that connects over to Aziraphale before Aziraphale eventually starts The Door Catch (theoretically).

Given the story's love for precision and keeping in mind the nature of words, it might be relevant that Crowley's long drawn question was about what Gabriel was doing in the bookshop and not something like, "Why are you in this bookshop?" That would be a potential edit. The question was such a thing to ask Gabriel "properly", but it was cut up into what we got instead. I am not sure on such silly speculation at all. I just know how much this story and its games love toying with the audience in ways like that.

The word "properly" could also refer to the idea of compelling Gabriel for an answer through a supernatural method. Aziraphale wouldn't want to do that himself but might want Crowley to do it as a demon. Crowley does not seem to be doing that here, but his demonic hiss in the next episode might.

...

That's it for this post. Way back when I started to track these things, I did have a tendency to update even these posts, so that could happen again, just FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

...

Past versions of this post:

Post #8 Redone (finding out Gabriel is in the bookshop)

Post #8 (finding out Gabriel is in the bookshop)

#crowley #good omens 2 #good omens #good omens s2 #david tennant #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens crowley #crowley good omens #crowley sideburns

[inmyarmswrappedin]

DRUCK reactions - s4 ep2

With special thanks to Michi ( @wodrueckts ) for looking over it to make sure I didn’t say anything glaringly wrong. 💛

CLIP 1: It’s hard out there for a hijabi

Here’s one thing I like about this episode: the shot of the tiara spinning in the air. That said, it’s kind of inexplicable. It’s been like a month since the Abiball, so what’s the tiara doing here? Was Amira holding onto it all this time? Did she have this vision of, like, sorting out her shit as she prepares to move out of her parents’ home, and remembering how her gay friend gave the tiara to her because he hated that his boyfriend was so hot he just naturally won all popularity contests? And she was like, “Imma do a solid for future Amira and get rid of this dollar store tiara right now”?

Anyway.

So far, Amira M.’s season has been the only Sana season not to drop during Ramadan. Seems like the Druck team thought they might not even get to Amira, and then they got renewed at the eleventh hour. So they needed to put that shit out quick because the character was set to leave for Australia and anyway it would’ve been really weird to do an Amira season in uni, and then go back to high school with the next gen. So this season is set in summer, and depending on what Wtfock does with Yasmina, it might be the only Sana season to do so.

I think setting this clip lakeside was pretty clever. Plenty of chances to show people in swimming suits or skimpy clothing, as well as people’s reactions to Amira’s burkini. It very quickly sets the stage for the season, same as the bus montage did for Sana in Skam.

I’m not sure how to feel about Sam thinking cunnilingus is boring. Is she sure she’s having it done right? I thought Abdi had a longer than average tongue.

And thanks to Michi, I discovered that this was a reference to Skam, which I didn’t even know because I still had the gdrive subs for s2, where Chris says getting eaten out in Gran Canaria was fun, as opposed to the new subs, where she says it was boring as shit and she fell asleep.

I can’t remember whether Sana’s prayer app ever went off in front of the girl squad. When Skam España did it, the girls immediately freaked the fuck out at the thought of Amira praying right in the middle of a street party. In this case, Kiki looks at Amira for a second. Amira turns the app off though, so we never find out what the girls would’ve done if Amira were to pray right there. Or if it’s happened before. (I’ve been told by Michi this has happened before but the girls didn’t have a reaction then either.)

“Girls, why does it always have to be about boys with you guys?” GO OFF, AMIRA. I remember when I watched the season live, I became exhausted at all the boy talk, so it’ll be interesting to see if I still get this feeling watching the episodes.

In comparison to Vilde, Kiki is also a good sport about Amira wanting this topic to be over. I mean, she laughs a little (perhaps knowingly?), but Kiki is always up for changing the topic to something else about her… Like her and Carlos’ house hunting!

And also, Druck has sent Mia off to Spain to reassure viewers that this Noora won’t take over the season like other Nooras. (Ahem.)

For lack of something to talk about, Amira brings up boxing. Kiki is immediately interested, since she loves working out. Amira is really not into the idea of her brothers getting to know her friends, so she uses Hanna’s reticence to shoot Kiki down.

Her mood has been spoiled all in all, so she stays back to feel alienated as the girls splash around.

She does look cute as hell in her burkini and sunglasses though.

CLIP 2: Am I a bet? Am I a fucking bet?

I really like the blink and you’ll miss it shot of (I think is) the customized snow globe with the Nadia and Amira pic.

Some other stuff in Amira’s room: A polisci book, a list of lodgings in Sydney open on her browser, and what I’m pretty sure is a save the date card from Nadia and her fiancé. This is a very smart way to set up Amira’s character for people who might not have been paying a lot of attention to her so far. It’s always fun to get a peek at a Skams character’s bedroom for the first time.

Amira’s season came after Imane’s, and one thing I immediately liked more about Druck was that they spent time with the prayer scenes. I remember ONE (1) scene where Imane prayed in Skam France, and we only got to see the tail end of it.

I’m pretty sure the game the Mahmoodis play doesn’t actually exist, which probably has to do with having to pay royalties to show a real game. Interestingly(?), when I searched Dr. Whoo and Chopstick on google, it led me to Doctor Who pages, so I wonder if it’s all an elaborate Doctor Who reference on the part of someone in the Druck team.

In Skam, Sana misses the shot because the balloon squad are talking throughout the whole song, but Amira loses because Mohammed literally leans into her line of sight to make eye contact. In general, Mohammed is a lot more suave and savvier than Yousef ever was.

CLIP 3: This apartment is gonna kill somebody

And on a similar note but related to Amira, she is set up as someone the other girls rely on for advice. Kiki needs her help with the renter, while Sam asks her for romantic advice. I think the reason for this might be that while the girls didn’t exactly rely on Sana for advice in Skam, Sana was the one with the ideas since the start. Amira doesn’t necessarily take charge of situations the way Sana did, but there’s this notion that without Amira, the squad would fall apart.

The Berlin housing market = shantycore goals.

I also like the bit of subtle social commentary in Amira’s speech, about middle aged people helping young adults get started with life, so the latter can support the former when it comes to pensions, etc.

CLIP 4: Huh.

So even though Amira didn’t want the girls at the gym earlier, they are here now.

The day before, Amira posted a story on ig reminding the girls about the boxing class, with no indication that she ever tried to get them not to come.

Hanna gives a quick bit of exposition when she mentions Stefan is already working full time (and in a job that presumably requires a uni degree) while she just graduated high school. Which she finds weird.

As in Skam, Essam calls Amira ‘slave,’ which Kiki and Hanna notice. Amira quickly says it has to do with a bet, and the subject gets dropped.

When the season was airing, I thought for sure this wasn’t the end of it, and it would be brought up again, either through Kiki, Hanna, or possibly Stefan via Hanna. But no, this is really the end of that storyline.

My question is, why? What is the point of recreating this storyline from Skam (even going through the trouble of setting up a week during the hiatus between episodes 31 and 32, where Amira wins and Essam has to be the slave) if you’re just going to drop it in the same episode? It’s bad writing because we’re still in the stage of the season where storylines are being set up for later. It’s bad writing because Kiki and/or Hanna literally never bring up this bet/slave business again after devoting several clips and a bunch of social media to it. It’s like the writers didn’t really want to adapt this storyline from Skam, but they also didn’t have a ton of ideas for this week. Or maybe they were going to go somewhere with it, but then they changed their minds because it made some character look bad, but they forgot to take it out.  

Like okay, fine, it wasn’t my favorite storyline in Skam either. It made Vilde look like an idiot at best, or a racist and a traitor at worst. But then why even have Kiki and Hanna overhear Essam? It’s not like they had to do it for adaptation reasons. Skam France didn’t.

It’s frustrating as fuck, and it won’t be the last time this season will pull this on the viewer.

Speaking of which, Sam thinks Mohammed is hot as hell (she ain’t wrong) and invites Essam, Omar and Mohammed to Jonas’ birthday party. This bothers Amira, because she doesn’t want her brothers to hang out with her friends. Even though she apparently just invited the girls to the boxing class that takes place at the gym her brothers attend.

[SIGH]

But anyway, Sam is being characterized as someone who is in charge of her sexuality (throughout the whole show, but specifically in this episode). While Amira is pining from a distance, getting flustered just from eye contact, Sam sees a hot guy and immediately creates an opportunity to see him again.

CLIP 5: Barbecue pining

There’s such a summer vibe about always finding reasons to hang out at a specific place because your friend got a summer job there.

I gotta give it to the writers. Essam is such a well-constructed younger sibling character. He’s a brat exactly in the way younger siblings are, and yet… That’s also the reason he’s so endearing.

And, on that note, Omar gives off such dad vibes. Not even older brother vibes. Every time I see Omar I feel like he’s thinking, “ha-ha! These little brats are acting out because they’re going through a lot! We just have to understand them!”

The conversation Amira and Mohammed have around the barbecue is so dumb, but you gotta love how pleased Amira is that she has Mohammed’s attention. Though she’s also unused to liking having a guy’s attention.

David and Matteo are back, and they’re still adorable! Good for them.

The way you could describe this moment as, Amira literally turned around for a moment and Sam was already touching Mohammed’s hair, and have it be accurate, sums up what they’re going for here.

Social media

There was a lot of social media content to keep people fed in the hiatus between episode 31 and 32. David and Matteo backpacked through Europe, Mia left for Spain and Kiki made a video about it, Stefan was invited to a game night with the crew, Kiki and Carlos looked for an apartment, and as I mentioned earlier, Essam lost a bet to Amira and had to be her slave for a week. I think that’s about it!

Abdi suggests that he and Carlos give Jonas supplies to make a protest sign as a birthday present and I almost lost it.

I think the piece of social media that most pissed off Skam purists was a chat where Jonas assures Amira he’s already thought of buying halal meat (as well as vegetarian and vegan options) for his birthday, because apparently Druck wanted to show up Skam or something, but like… It’s not like this storyline went anywhere on Skam either, like at no point do the girls learn to order pizza Sana can eat. So what does it matter if Jonas is already aware that Muslims eat halal meat.

I love that Hanna went to boxing class once, posted a bunch of stories about it and then never attended again. What a mood.

And to close the week, Kiki texts Amira that Essam started following her on insta.

FINAL THOUGHTS

When the season was airing, I found these clips cute enough. But on rewatch, I didn’t care for this episode and the reason is that so much of it ended being irrelevant to the season. What this episode did well was setting up the Kiki/Amira friendship, setting Kiki and Carlos’ apartment and the boxing class as recurring settings for the season and some character details. Essam is a really solid character from the get go, and I like the details in Amira’s room. They could’ve left out just about everything else.

#druck #about druck

[postguiltypleasures]

Romancing the Fiction/Fictionalizing the Romance

[I know it’s incredibly narcissistic, but there are so many things on that used to be online that I can no longer find, so I have decided to re-post entries from my old LiveJournal, portiaslegacy, here. This is the entry I mentioned finding referenced in an online debate.]

Originally published  Apr. 21st, 2009 at 1:46 PM 

I have been meaning to write the piece on romance in fiction for a while now. I promised it way back, last October. It is occasionally on my mind but getting down to writing is something is something I have to force myself to do. Part of me wants it to be all encompassing, but I think I need a dialogue to be responding to, so please comment.

It is going to start with the slightly embarrassing confession that Ugly Betty changed my life. Before the show came on refreshing my Spanish was something that I meant to do, but never got around to. Then when the show came out I had to familiarize myself with the original from Colombia (Yo soy Betty, la fea. The American version also debuted around the same time as the Spanish one (Yo soy Bea) and the Mexican (La fea más bella). I really liked la española for a while, and hated la mexicana. 

Besides expanding my taste in pop music forever (for which I am grateful) it also forced me to think about how romance is portrayed. I generally don’t like, and therefore do not see, “romantic comedies.” So after watching enough and my ability to understand Spanish improved and eventually my euphoria at improving my language skill lessened and a bitter after taste was left. A lot of this has to do with the plot and then the whole why and how it is recycled, what is amended, what is augmented etc.

The basic plot is that Betty is un-presentable and has difficulty finding work. Her lack of grace ironically helps her get work as the secretary, for which she is very over qualified. Her boss is a recently engaged womanizer, whose fiancé wants her best friend as his secretary to curb his ability to fool around. Hiring both women allows him to “appease” his fiancé while buffering former conquests. It also helps when the business gets so fucked up under him that he gets his masters of economics ugly secretary to fix the books. I did not mention before that as Betty is the ugly secretary she is relegated to a former storage closet. It’s small and dark and speaks of neglect and secrets. For what ever reason Betty is madly in love with her boss, Armando in the original. She exclaims “¡tan divino!” (“how divine”) after anything happens between them and flagellates herself over any abuse he may cause her (and there are a few). Armando and his best friends/sounding board/business partner Mario get nervous that Betty will betray them. Mario catches wind that Betty is enamored of Armando and decides Armando should seduce her to ensure her loyalty. It is not hard, and during the mix of humiliation, being adored, and actually consummating the relationship, Armando falls for Betty. She finds out his betrayal, and reveals the corporate illegalities they engaged in to the board. It humiliates Armando in front of his father, and is painful for her too. Naturally, her next step is to run away to a new job in a exotic local, and get that amazing make over. She returns to the company to lead it out of the financial mess. Everyone is amazed by her make over, mostly hostile, board members. Armando is amazed by the transformation, and eventually they reconcile, marriage, baby, less successful sequel. There is an old article at Salon that covers of what is wrong with this. So I will diverge into certain things that bother me that are not so well addressed.

First despite the title, the show is really about Armando. He drives the plot and his commentaries mark changes in the plot, while Betty’s diary underscore things we already know. He also pushes the limits of bad behavior, regularly throwing temper tantrums, berating the secretaries and his fiancé. The fiancé, Marcela, is not the most sympathetic of characters, but she puts up with a lot abuse. Considering this is the longest he has ever been in a relationship it is hard to believe that Armando will ever behave better in a relationship. And the show just does not convince that Armando has changed for the better with Betty’s love. During one scene where Betty is dangling him by his insecurities he stalks her while drunk and picks a fight with her best friend (who he thinks may be her secret paramour) and severely beats him. One of the major points leading to the reconciliation is that he steals her diary! Apparently both of those events should be forgiven and swooned over as they show how seriously he is taking Betty, their relationship, whatever. It is still is an entirely male ego-centric view of what the romance is supposed to be. 

A related problem is how Armando’s relationship with Mario defines his with Betty. Not only does Mario forge letters from Armando as part of the “courtship”, Armando tells Mario everything even those post coitus confessions. The show (and some of the fans) makes a big deal over how Armando is not sexually involved with anyone (including Marcela) after sleeping with Betty. But Mario is the only one he treats as an equal. While they fall out in the original’s ending, the sequel involves a reconnection of their friendship. Most of the versions find it important to have these reconcile long before the happy ending. In some, the Mario character would become involved with one of Betty’s friends. It basically says the whole trash talking, womanizing, support group for emotionally abusing others was a pinch in a brotherly relationship, and not the whole damn thing.

Betty does not have anyone she can confide in nearly as much as Armando does with Mario. Nicolas is not only a fake boyfriend he is madly in love with Armando’s other secretary and they engage in their own affair that parodies the main plot. (The storyline generally takes a less forgiving view of this couple than the main one. How much of it is because of the gender reversal?) Betty is kept apart from the other secretaries in the company both by the location of her office and her office secrets. They may be the first group of friends she ever has, she needs to be kept from them to show her superiority from their constant gossip and general femaleness. She cannot be one of them and be special.

While Betty’s looks degrade her as being unwomanly, her discretion and devotion set her apart- for Armando. Also despite her financial intelligence, she is naïve to the point of stupidity in regards to everything else. Despite working in fashion she has no idea how to dress herself or improve herself. And of course the worst bit is that she does not see what kind of heel she is working for. Like she is relieved that he beat her friend up over personal jealousy and not because he was worried they would clean him out financially (which they could do, with impunity). Also, after the second time she sleeps with Armando it is revealed that she has basically lived through this entire seduction plot before. The first time it was with a neighborhood guy who bet that he could get her in bed. It was not hard. She never received much attention and is instantly flattered. But it does make her look like an idiot both for Armando, and because she let the guys who set her up with this creep set her up again to be stood up in the beginning of the series. During those early episodes we also see her flagellate herself over some prior mistake that she has punished her self for ever since. By the time we know what it is, it make it seem like she is incapable of introspection or growth. (At least not without the help of her fairy godmother.) 

Basically this is the exception that proves the rule to why there are a lot of hot woman with not so hot men onscreen pairings, and not many of the opposite. Guys can be funny; whatever makes women funny comes with/from humiliation. There are exceptions to this; one of the main reasons I will forever love Gilmore Girls is how the girls could all be really funny without it coming from a point of humiliation all of the time.This led me to think; why in most romances does the guy get to sleep around, be rude and violent while whatever faults the girl has are magnified to the point of making her impossible to be with and every other thing about her must be perfect? Why is whatever shit he pulls okay if he really likes her? Here is a little perverse thing, I am fine with members of a couple sleeping around while not together as long as they treat their other partners with as much care and respect as possible. Never be an ass. It is not about treating the “true love” as special, it is about noticing people. In stories that involve a magical make over that means he (or she) should not be surprised by the change. Impressed is fine, (see “Colonial Day” of Battlestar Galactica for an example), but if he did not believe it, he never saw her. Call it the Sabrina Fairchild rule. Linus Larrabee recognizes Sabrina at once because he always knew her as a person. David Larrabee only sees women he is attracted to is not going to believably fall in love with Sabrina. 

While being annoyed by this I remembered that medieval romances were about a man’s quest for closeness to God as represented by a virginal, cloistered woman. I don’t think we ever really got over this no matter how our ideas of God and Love have changed. (Maybe our ideas of God and Love linger in this time period). The way romance is set it is still a holy quest for the male, but it is the reason de entre for the female. Love is supposed to redeem the man, but it just is in her nature, so its not like she gets anything holy out of it. Rejecting love in any form is bad for the woman. It makes her less than human, even if the form “love” takes is demeaning. But I think the biggest problem with this type of romance is that it blinds the couple to each other’s faults while allowing them to just hate everyone who is not them, or on their side. Going back to YSBLF, Armando never really respects Marcela. In their break up scene he says he really loved her but she was too paranoid and demanding, basically a shrew. As much as I hate the love of the bromance, the fact that part of the climax involves Armando picking a (hypocritical) fight with Mario demonstrates the lack of character growth. It is still a battle of proving superiority- through the ability to love. Considering the Christian origin is a particularly perverse form of idol worship.

And the comments section:

ellecain wrote:

Jul. 14th, 2009 09:46 am (local)

Followed the link from the discussion postWow, I did not know about the original telenovela plot. This is really interesting.

Why is whatever shit he pulls okay if he really likes her? Yes, this! Guys get away with the most outrageous behaviour onscreen (especially romantic comedies) and at the end any questionable decisions on his part are excused or forgiven. Even if it's deception or sleeping around or destroying personal property, he just has a magically clean slate at the end! And I think you're spot on in that last paragraph - often women are only in the script to redeem the hero, often the only roles actresses get are where they're cast as love-interests - love is literally their raison d'etre onscreen. And I think it's kind of disturbing that the obligatory love interest is a tool for the hero to gain moral credibility or something. It reminds me of numerous films where the man's decision to leave behind the cut-throat amoral money-making job or sinful lifestyle is somehow re-affirmed by his falling in love with a good virtuous country girl. It's this bizarre idea that a woman's love is enough to make you a good person and erase your sins.

Rejecting love in any form is bad for the woman.One of the reasons I was happy that Betty rejected both Gio and Henry in the S2 finale. :-) I loved that she wanted to concentrate on herself first (um, although that didn't last long)Oh, and the bit about Gilmore Girls just brought the biggest smile to my face. I'm such rabid fangirl! *points to icon*

portiaslegacy wrote:

Jul. 14th, 2009 10:40 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion post

First I am so thrilled that you replied! I wrote this to have conversations because really most of the time if I watch something sold as a "love story" makes my skin crawl. 

When I was watching YSBLA and YSB and following the fandom at the now defunct telenovelas latinas boards made me a little disturbed. There are so many WTF things that are accepted because of being "romantic". I need some affirmation that I am not alone about it.

A lot of what I wrote is primarily based on fan reaction. The bit about how there is always some element of being aghast is a female character do not reciprocate any love was partly inspired by the reactions to a scene in the \ season 2 finale of Mad Men (the fandom I spend the most time on). I don't know if you watch it so I am going to be vague about I thought it was weird that some people had to believe that Peggy was still on some level open to a relationship with Pete or being mean to him. It was not really either of those, and I felt like the reaction had to come from some kind of conditioning from other stories. 

Yeah it was awesome ho Betty decided to leave both Henry and Gio. At least while indulging her crush on Jesse she did not loose her perspective. And I kind of like Matt as a character if not a love interest. 

And Gilmore Girls will always hold a special place in my heart. (Except for the last season (hated that they got Lane pregnant after bad sex and acted all isn't-this-cute!--Everyone-loves-babies!!!!) Rory's high school experience is actually the most relatable one I've seen (though idealized). I love the music (like a vindication of my own taste in music), the dialogue, the wit... it is a show I wish would get knocked off a bit more if only to have more strong matriarchal centered families on tv.

ellecain wrote:

Jul. 18th, 2009 01:10 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion postHeh, you're not alone. A lot of so-called romantic behavior I see onscreen is just plain creepy. That's why you'll often find me yelling stuff at my TV like "Aaargh, what are you thinking, dump the guy," and people just look at me like I'm crazy. :-) I haven't seen Mad Men at all, I keep hearing rave reviews about it but somehow I never got around to seeing it. I keep hearing it has a lot of sexist themes so I'm afraid to watch...

 Yes, exactly! Matt as a character is interesting but as a love interest for Betty he's just boring. Maybe he'll get better next season. I can't wait for him to be all mean and vindictive as her boss (even though I'll miss Daniel - I secretly crush on the character)!

I loved that Gilmore Girls was centered around smart, strong female characters (and yes, I hated the Lane having kids part too!). I love that they can make shows that were marketed at women - like the soap opera part of Ugly Betty, the fast-talking family dynamics of the Gilmores - and turn them into hilariously funny shows with intelligence and warmth. Male- centered shows that have guns or action are unappealing to me and it's so difficult to find a good tv show with strong central female characters... I think that's why Ugly Betty had me hooked from the pilot!

portiaslegacy wrote:

Jul. 19th, 2009 10:59 pm (local)

Re: Followed the link from the discussion post

First I highly recommend Mad Men. It portrays sexism's prevalence, but it is not a sexist show. More than any other tv show I know it clearly sees sexism as damaging to all involved. Also the main female characters are able to be cool in ways that do not involve guns* or being the chick who does kung fu. And while there have been some weapon wilding kung fu chicks I've loved especially on shows focused on them like Buffy, Alias, or Sarah Connor, right now I am a little tired of it. 

I agree with everything about Gilmore Girls and Ugly Betty. I started watching both shows at the beginning and am glad I did. I love how they navigate the in between world of pure fantasy and reality based satire.

* There are a couple of gun appearances on Mad Men. They are memorable but no one dies, and it is doubtful that one is loaded at all.

cloakedhestia wrote:

Apr. 11th, 2010 08:31 pm (local)

I followed your link from Fanforum...

Oh snap, I did not know all that about the Spanish telenovelas the pre-dated Ugly Betty! You've hit upon a lot of ideas I share and just so you know, Ugly Betty had a huge impact on my life, but probably for kind of different reasons than yours. 

I feel like the Spanish culture, as a whole, clings more to the idea of the man being dominant and the woman being submissive. Not to say other cultures don't do it too (or even carry it to a more extreme level) but upon reading your summary of Colombian version and comparing it to our American version, I praise our lucky stars we got the changes we did. An unattractive doormat is nor my idea of a role model, and a misogynistic womanizer is libel to make me wanna strangle someone with an XY chromosome.

I really like your ties to Medieval romance and the first thing that came to mind (okay, the second; the first thing was that Renaissance restaurant in the episode Secretary's Day!) was Hamlet. I'm a huge fan of Hamlet and my favorite character was Ophelia but good God, that poor girl. She is valued by her brother for her virtue and chastity, she gets treated like crap by Hamlet, and she goes insane because of heartbreak (though, her father dying probably didn't help, even if he didn't seem to pay much attention to his daughter).

So, yeah, good post! (And I don't think I'll ever watch the Colombian version. Or any Spanish version. For all its writing faults I'll stick with Ugly Betty.)

#Livejournal repost #Livejournal archive #livejournal #portiaslegacy #Ugly Betty #Yo Soy Betty La Fea #YSBLF #betty la fea #Todas Las Feas

[aion-rsa]

Deep Purple’s Roger Glover Gets to the Bottom of the Band’s Dynamics

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Deep Purple’s 21st studio album Whoosh! comes with dire warnings and dry wit, all propelled by one of the tightest still-working bands playing today. The record was produced by the legendary Bob Ezrin, who helped Pink Floyd build The Wall, taught Tim Curry to Read My Lips, and brought suspense to the Alice Cooper discography. For their third collaboration, Ezrin invited Ian Gillan, Roger Glover, Ian Paice, Steve Morse, and Don Airey back to Nashville, where Deep Purple recorded 2013’s Now What?! and 2017’s inFinite.

The first single off the album, “Nothing At All,” is a cautionary observance on what people have done to the planet we’re renting short-term. The second single, “Man Alive,” casts a worried glimpse into the future. The single “Throw My Bones” takes on time and space. The music videos for each of the songs feature a Spaceman sitting in for the band. 

Whoosh! is a timeless timepiece. It doesn’t carry the quantized perfection of 2020 music. The songs are as long as they need to be, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame band gives in to what their late, great keyboardist Jon Lord called Deep Purple’s “musical restlessness.”

It’s been 48 years since “Smoke on the Water” was recorded by the Mark II, classic lineup of Ritchie Blackmore, Gillan, Lord, Glover, and Ian Paice. And the current Mark VIII lineup is still pushing musical boundaries.

Deep Purple has its roots as a session band put together by Chris Curtis, the ex-drummer of the British rock and roll band The Searchers. The ensemble found their own sound in March 1968 under the name Roundabout before vocalist Rod Evans, guitarist Ritchie Blackmore, bassist Nick Simper, keyboardist Jon Lord, and drummer Ian Paice named themselves after a grandmother’s favorite classic ballad. Gillan and Glover were pulled in from the band Episode Six to handle vocals and bass for the band’s four-year commercial and radio peak. The new lineup premiered with the 1970 studio album Concerto for Group, which was recorded with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. They turned up the volume and merged prog with a soulful hard rock for the albums Deep Purple in Rock and Fireball and hit their stride.

Deep Purple’s plans to record the follow-up to Fireball at the Casino in Montreux, Switzerland got doused when the venue burned down during a Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention show. Glover came up with the phrase “Smoke on the Water,” and the song entered the iconography of rock music.  It appeared on their Machine Head album. Who Do We Think We Are, which included the hit single “Woman from Tokyo,” ended the lineup’s tenure with the departure of Gillan and Glover. But they did put out the live album Made in Japan. The classic lineup reunited in 1984 for Perfect Strangers and 1987’s The House of Blue Light, but the band once again changed players.

Blackmore left Deep Purple after the 1974 album Stormbringer. He formed Rainbow with vocalist Ronnie James Dio and ultimately pulled in Glover on bass. Deep Purple pulled James Gang guitarist Tommy Bolin, who died of an overdose in 1976. Rainbow’s Joe Lynn Turner sang on Deep Purple’s Slaves and Masters album from 1990. Gillan rejoined for the album The Battle Rages On…, which saw the end of Blackmore’s tenure. He was first replaced by Joe Satriani, and ultimately by Kansas’ Steve Morse in 1994, who has been squeezing guitar strings through his fingers ever since. Don Airey has been on keyboards since 2002. Lord passed away on July 16, 2012.

Roger Glover is a veteran of Rainbow, Whitesnake, and his own solo works, like the concept album and live rock opera The Butterfly Ball and the Grasshopper’s Feast. He is the underrated producer of artists like Judas Priest, Nazareth, Status Quo, Rory Gallagher, and David Coverdale. Humor infuses much of what he does and his comic timing in conversation is as spot-on as his rhythmic sensibilities. Glover spoke with Den of Geek about the many shades of Deep Purple.

On the song “What the What,” Ian sings you’re “celebrating the fact that you’re still alive.” Was that the vibe of the band when you got together for this album?

Well, in a way. When we arrived in Nashville to start working on the record, we had a sort of rehearsal studio there and Bob Ezrin came to see us. It was a Saturday, and he said, “Welcome to Nashville, great to be back, I’d like to invite you all for dinner on Monday night.”

“What’s this for?” we said.

He said, “Well, just to celebrate the fact that we’re together again, and we’re still alive.”

And I said, “Well you better make it Sunday then.”

​But I suppose in a way there’s an element of time in the album because it’s 50 years it’s been going. And who knows how long it will go on? So time is definitely an element in the album, and always has been in most albums, actually.

Usually artists go to Nashville to make use of the steady musicians there. What is it about the place that makes it such a pleasant recording experience?

It was unusual for us. We’ve had a history of making records in basements and hotels. It was great to be in a really proper studio, and Nashville is one of the few places where there are loads of studios. Nearly every other house is a private studio, and music just is in the air.

​It’s not just country music. It’s all kinds of music. And there’s something about it that’s very natural to music. We had such a good time there. It was a great album to make. Bob Ezrin, we got used to working with him very quickly. I think we finally found a place that we felt comfortable in, and that’s why we’ve done three albums there now.

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard Deep Purple sounding like they enjoy old-time rock and roll so much, as on Don Airey’s piano solo on “What the What?” Which is more fun in the moment, performing intricate arrangements or letting loose and jamming?

All our songs come from jamming. We don’t actually write songs, they just evolve as we play. The first writing session is usually a lot of fun. We just explore different rhythms and riffs and whatever, and then take a break to listen to them, and figure out which ones we really want to work on, and that’s the second writing session. And then we go to the studio and record them, but at this point, we rarely have finished vocals or lyrics.

​It’s usually when the album has been all recorded instrumentally that Ian Gillan and I go off on our own somewhere for a couple of weeks and we write the words. Sometimes he writes on his own, sometimes I write my own. Sometimes we write together. And that’s how it comes out.

​We’ve always done it that way. It’s a strange way to write songs, I know. Most people write the songs before they go in the studio, we write them after we’ve been in the studio. But it was like that in ’69 when I joined the band. It’s been the same ever since.

I was going to ask how the songs were presented. Do you make demos occasionally?

No. You don’t go to a Purple session with anything like that, anything like a finished song. You go with an idea, and we all work on it together. It’s got to be a collective, that’s the point of the band, it’s a collective. So, one person couldn’t write a Deep Purple song. It takes five of us.

But do you ever call one of the Ian’s in the middle of the night with melodies you can’t get out of your head?

Oh sure. Absolutely, yeah. Especially when you’re working on a song, you play the same thing a 100 times maybe, while everyone gets it right. And that’s hard to get out of your head sometimes, which is a good sign.

How much of the record was actually recorded live?

Apart from the vocals, most of it. We recorded it all at the same time, in the same room. That’s what a band should do. We’ve tried that layering business, but there’s no soul in the music then. The subtleties of what you play when you’re actually live with others, it’s different to what you do on your own. And I guess that’s the magic. I guess we’re old fashioned, but we’re very proud of it.

Steve Morse has been in the band longer than Ritchie Blackmore at this point.

Who’s measuring?

Does that make for a more democratic Deep Purple?

Yes, it does honestly. Deep Purple’s always been democratic. It was right from when I first joined the band, we decided that whoever writes any particular idea, we all share, because we all contribute. The way we play is almost as much a part of the writing process as what the riff or the lyrics are. So, we all shared everything.​ It didn’t last that way. When I left the band, and Gillan left the band, it changed. It changed up until when Steve Morse joined. When Steve Morse joined, we said, “Right, let’s share everything.” It takes away stress, it takes away ego, it takes away jealousy, it takes away bad vibes. And I think we all share and we all write for it. We all work our bits. So, that’s the way we do it, and it is a democratic band.

Are you always lyrically on the same page? There’s a lot of subtle social and political commentary. Does the band have to have a unified front?

No, we don’t know what that means. We’re just rudely ourselves. It’s our own instincts, it’s up to us. I suppose as you get older later in life, your lyrics get more profound. But there’s always been a wit, a degree of humor in lyrics. We don’t take it too seriously. But writing songs about cars and girls, which we did in our 20s, seems slightly inappropriate now. In our 70s, we’re taking what’s going on around us. Songs come from life.

In the song “Man Alive,” there’s a line, “The earth was cleansed after the most intelligent became extinct.” Does Purple think it’s time for a planetary reset?

We wrote that last year. The album was recorded last summer. But, you asked about time, I guess there’s a time. And what is time? It depends on how you look at it. To a small insect, they live only a day or two. That’s their life. Our life, in the cosmic terms, it’s here and gone. It’s hard to take in the fact that we’ve been a band for 50 years, and it seems to have gone so quickly in many ways, hence the name of the album.

The planet will last a lot longer than human people will, and there’s a possibility of course, that we’ll become extinct. And lo and behold, here we are in a situation where that is much more of a real possibility than it was last summer. So, that’s maybe a little prescient. A little forward-thinking, but we didn’t know it at the time. It’s only that it’s becoming apparent. We live in very dangerous times.

Deep Purple is famously part of the unholy trinity, along with Sabbath and Zeppelin. But, how evil have you ever really gotten?

I’ve never been asked that question before. Evil is a very strong word, anyway. What do you mean by evil, though?

Well, have you ever tried medieval alchemy or sonic magical workings?

Richie was into séances at the beginning of the band, but that’s about it. We were a band of musicians. We weren’t a band of idiots. Everyone liked to go exploring unknown worlds and smashing hotel rooms up and going crazy. But, I think we were a pretty sane band. Not like, say, Zeppelin. Man, Zeppelin was a pretty sane band apart from Bonzo. And there’s always old Keith Moon, but what is it about drummers? I don’t know.

Is Ian Paice like that?

No, not at all.

Is the most evil thing you’ve actually done producing Barbi Benton?

I wouldn’t say that was evil. You know, as a producer in a studio, it doesn’t really matter what kind of artist you’re producing, it’s the same problem. And that problem is to create an atmosphere in the studio where an artist is comfortable and can perform to their best. That’s the only prime for a producer and how he does it.​Of course, different producers have different means, but that’s the main objective. And Barbi Benton was just something that came along and I was not doing anything else. Why not? Everything’s a challenge. Day by day, you never know what’s going to happen.

How did you get the gig? Did Hugh Hefner tempt you with an unholy threesome?

No, no. There was some connection with my manager at the time, Bruce Payne. I think we did a little tour with them with Cozy Powell. They had a bit of fun driving her and her people around in Scandinavia. I was just asked.

I was listening to Elements, your 1978 album, and it is prog as fuck. Do you write anything out in notation?

I used to know music when I was a kid. I was in choirs and I could read music, but that kind of faded when rock and roll came because it didn’t seem to matter to me. With Elements, partly you work with musicians that offer their own particular talents. And I know with a lot of the tunes on that, I just played a synthesizer line for a tune. And I then gave it to an arranger, who’d then make it into an orchestral piece.

​I’m not that kind of musician, that I can just write bunches of stuff. Don Airey is that kind of musician and John Lord is that kind of musician. But I’m not a keyboard player. I’m a simple bass player. It’s difficult to convey your message across with a bass. If you’ve got other instruments involved, you’ve got to be able to either let them go their own way, which is also a very admirable thing to do, because people bring their own talents to something.

The advance press on the album said Whoosh! was putting the Deep back in Purple. That could be the bass. On what occasions do you lead from the bottom?

I read once that the best leaders are the ones that lead without those being led knowing anything about it. And I suppose I believe that in many ways. It’s not a question of telling people what to do, it’s making them think they thought of it in the first place. And that’s how you get your way, if you like.

​But, with Purple, it’s not like that. We all help each other out. We all respect each other. And usually the first thing you play instinctively, and no one has a problem with it. Occasionally, you’ll change it, if someone says, “Why don’t you play this instead of that?” And how you learn that way, it’s not a challenge, it’s a positive help.

I know that Deep Purple are friends as well as musicians. Did the band mock Ian Gillan when he tried to make Andrew Lloyd Webber cool?

No, not at all.  We’re all individuals. We’re in a band, but we’re all individuals, like most bands. But maybe us more than others. It was a great opportunity for Ian, we didn’t mind that at all. It was great. I did Butterfly Ball. Mind you, I wasn’t in the band then, I’d left the band. But still, it gives you an idea that we all have other avenues that we can explore.

There are classic titles and classic titles. “Deep Purple,” “Stardust,” “Twist and Shout,” “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” “Stairway to Heaven.” Very few songs reach the level of iconography as “Smoke on the Water,” and you came up with the phrase. How does it feel to be in the upper echelon of the upper echelon?

About four, five years ago, we did the Montreux Jazz Festival. We’ve played there quite a few times, but this particular time they had some fighter planes flying over the lake, laying smoke on top of Lake Geneva. And I was on the balcony of the hotel looking at this spectacle and it all came from those four words.

​And it feels unreal to me. I don’t feel connected to it. I know how it happened, but somehow it’s taken on a complete life of its own, that’s nothing to do with me. And seeing these jets flying over Lake Geneva laying smoke on it, it was staggering. How do I take that in? It’s very difficult to take that in. I can see it’s happening, but how do I feel about it? I feel humbled. Humbled by other people going about their business and doing things based on four little words.

Because of “Smoke on the Water,” we know Deep Purple is acquainted with Frank Zappa. Does the band have an equivalent to Zeppelin’s mud shark story?

No, in a word. There are a few mischievous moments of course between us, little tricks and stuff, but nothing on that level, no. We weren’t really a band that was so outrageous. We had some practical jokes, of course. Richie would be this sort of person. I remember working, we were doing the first Rainbow album, we were doing it in a castle in France, an 11th-century castle. And there were haunting stories, of course.

​I remember going to the bedroom one night and the light didn’t work. Just a silly thing, but I knew where whatever was, so I started walking. I then realized that he’d put a suitcase down on the floor, so I went tumbling in the dark. And I knew it was him, no one else would do that. Those sort of stories went on all the time. You have to read my book to hear the rest.

We played a gig in South Korea, in Seoul, an open air festival. And it was the last gig of quite a long tour. And the rain came, the weather turned really bad. And when we arrived at the gig, the crowd was soaking wet. There was a roof over the stage which didn’t mean anything because the rain was coming in at such a low angle it was almost horizontal.

​I suppose any other band would say, “Right, we can’t do this.” But we did it. I remember John at the organ, the rain was hitting the organ on the top of the Hammond and coming back into his face, he couldn’t see. And every time Ian Paice hit a drum, it was like Blue Man Group, a fountain came up from it.

​It was ridiculous to actually do a gig in those circumstances, but we didn’t want to stay another two or three days until the rain finished and we could do it again. So, we persevered through it. And we went back four or five months later as heroes because we’d done that. We actually played through a tempest.

What does Bob Ezrin bring into the studio?

When you’re in a band, it’s very difficult to know who you are. I mean you, yeah, you can read the papers, and you can listen to your records, but when you’re in it itself, it’s very difficult to see yourself from the outside. I’ve tried producing this band, and believe me, it’s difficult. Bob Ezrin’s got an overview that we trust. He’s a legendary producer for a good reason. He’s good at what he does.

​He has a lot of energy, ideas, dynamism. And he moves things along. He’s encouraged us to work quickly, so that we capture freshness and spontaneity. Things happen when you’re all playing together that you couldn’t have when you’re playing to a bare drum track, or a click track even, or whatever.

​And I think he brought out us as better song writers. You don’t want to become a parody of your past, you always have to move along, and do new things. When he came to see us in Toronto, before Now What?!, he said, “Stretch out a bit. Stretch out.” ​And we didn’t really know what that meant, but they were two great words. And he encouraged us to explore somewhere to go. I couldn’t have imagined in 1970 writing some of the stuff that’s on Whoosh! The minute you don’t grow and change, you die. So, we’re always exploring ourselves and finding new ways to say the same things.

Ezrin is credited with playing keyboards. When you’re producing a band like Judas Priest, are you tempted to plug in?

I’ve done a lot of tambourine, shaker, percussion, bits and pieces. I’ve done a bit of synthesizer work on a few albums. Most of the albums I’ve produced, first of all, were in the ’70s. Since the ’80s, I was in Rainbow, then back in Purple, and I don’t have that time. And so synthesizers were very new. I bought an ARP-2600 and I was playing with that when I was doing Elements.

​But I’m not a keyboard player. It’s just one way to express and write tunes. Where does creativity come from? People say, “How do you write songs?” I haven’t got a clue. Some songs just appear, just as if they were always in existence, and I just stumbled on them. ​If you’re struggling with a song, it’s best probably to leave it alone, because the best songs always come when you’re not looking. “Hang Me Out to Dry” was written when we were totally drunk, so who knows?

Do you think the recording technology has changed metal as much as it has other genres?

Technology changes everything because technology is basically a list of new toys, and people are always looking for new toys. The electric guitar was a new toy once, as were keyboards, as were pianos. Everything was a new toy once, cutting edge, and they change everything.

​When digital music came along, and drum machines, and synthesizers, and sampling. Yes, it changed everything, but it wasn’t for us. We don’t get swayed by that. I listen to it and I go, “It’s either good or bad.” It either moves you or it doesn’t. But that’s not what we do, we play our instruments. And I suppose in the initial impact of that, I thought, “What’s a drum machine? Where’s the fun in that? You just press a button and it’s perfect.”

​But of course, it did change everything, because people have now got accustomed to hearing music that’s absolutely rhythmically correct. You listen to old rock and roll, and it’s got feel, and movement, and groove. And if there’s a drum fill, the whole band is there with him. You can’t do that if you’re working to a click.

​I know you started as a guitarist. Why did you move to the bass?

Out of necessity. A year or two above us, there was another band, and I was so impressed with them I said, “We’ve got to get a band together.” There were three guitarists, one had an electric guitar, a real electric guitar, so naturally, he became the lead guitarist. And the other one could play power chords, and he knew lots of chords. ​I knew maybe five or six chords, and that’s about it. So I said, “Well, I can’t compete with the guy playing chords, I’ll play bass then.” So, I took the two top strings off my Spanish with a pickup on it, and I played bass on the four bottom strings. It was a while before I got a real bass guitar. And when I got a real bass guitar, I loved it. It felt very natural to me, so why change?

Who were you listening to when you were developing your bass style that drew you into the possibilities of what the bass could do?

Oh, boy. Well, Duane Eddy’s “Peter Gunn.” I first heard that on a jukebox in a fairground somewhere when I was 11. And that twangy, ding, ding, ding came in. And, “Oh, this is interesting,” and then suddenly the bass came in. It was a jukebox, so the bass end was really amplified, and the power of it was awesome. And I just copied. We were in a band, we copied whatever was coming from America.

I think when I first heard Paul McCartney, that blew me sideways. I think he’s very, very underrated as a bass player. He’s a great songwriter and an enormous talent. People think of his image, rather than what he does. I’m a huge fan, and listening to the way he played bass was mind-blowing to me.

​And yes, there are other players. You’ve got Jack Bruce and various people. I listen to bass players from a different point of view if they’re good. Victor Wooten, for example, I listen to him and I’m just staggered. And Jaco Pastorius, they’re just wonderful, wonderful bass players.

​With COVID-19, what is the status of the Wish Tour?

Well, it’s nonexistent, except it’s been moved to next summer. A lot of the same gigs have been moved over, but there’s obviously no guarantee of that. So, it’s a pretty dismal outlook at the moment. It feels like we’re practicing till retirement. But I don’t want this to end like this. I don’t want us to end, actually. I certainly don’t want us to have one big closing gig and make a hoopla about it. I just want to keep working until we don’t anymore. That’s it.

The Whoosh! album, how does it stand in the full spectrum of Deep Purple?

I’m not sure that’s for me to say, really. We just supply the music, other people put their meanings and their status to it. Ask me again in five years and I’ll be able to tell you more. Of course, it’s the 21st album. If I go back through those albums, I think some are better than others. The key ones that stand out, maybe for me, are Deep Purple In Rock, Perfect Strangers, and Perpendicular, because all those were the start of another era.

Deep Purple released Whoosh! on August 7.

The post Deep Purple’s Roger Glover Gets to the Bottom of the Band’s Dynamics appeared first on Den of Geek.

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Time’s Mirror Episode 1 - A Web Series by Steven Embers

Prologue

 Someone once told me that remembering your past betrays your present. He didn’t tell me what he meant, but instead advised me to go home and think about it, which I think is a bit like saying “go talk with yourself about whether or not I actually said something profound, while I wait here and take no responsibility for my words.” I did as I was told, though, and I ended up coming to a conclusion that he was talking about how our memory is often an incomplete representation of any given situation.

           Like when the future you remembers the present you he will inevitably forget some of the little intricacies that went into creating that memory preserved in your shared brain. Maybe he’ll forget how cool your hair looked that day, or how you had a bad habit of chewing your nails when you listen to people talk, or (heaven help him) how much that one, trashy, rock chorus influenced you, and in doing so he will unintentionally marginalize the thought of you almost as if he was a stranger observing a story less important than his own.

           When I was done thinking about that, however, I started to wonder if the true meaning behind my irresponsible philosopher’s words was that remembering your past betrays you because during that time you stop living in the present and you become a shadow of the person you were in the past; never changing, never growing.

           But in the end, I resolved that the saying was just fancy wordplay, as most sayings are, and I thought that whatever profundity this particular cadence of words represented was probably not worth the internal distress I was having, so I chose to forget about the matter entirely.

           I never had the chance to ask my mentor what he meant by those words, and he’s gone now so I suppose I will never know, but now I am thinking about my past and his words have resurfaced in my mind like long lost counsel waiting for the appropriate moment to reveal its true nature.

           I think the place that I am in right now is something that I will take with me until I die and I desperately want to not misremember even the smallest detail. Yet I feel so close to my experience right now, too close to write about it, because I would rather continue living it. So I’m reflecting and typing and shivering because it’s really cold, and I’ve finally decided that trying to remember the past is not a sin or any other cautionary stigma I created for myself while pondering that old advice, and I should at least try to record the unbelievable journey I’ve taken.

           I guess I should start with an introduction.

           My name is Bailey Prince. It’s a girl’s name. I was teased for it because I’m a boy and in all the sixteen years of my life I can’t say I’ve ever been comfortable with using my name as a first impression because of an intense reflex of fear of being mocked.

           For the few sadistic people, and sometimes for the innocently curious ones who ask me where my name came from, I tell them it came from my father. My mother only wanted one child and my father had always wanted a daughter whose name he dreamt was Bailey. God let one and a half of their two wishes come true, but everyone knows that having half a wish come true is like finding a magic lamp but figuring out that the genie you summon only speaks Arabic and has to use a dictionary to translate what you’re wishing for.

           I suppose I can remove any wary doubt by saying that this is not a story about bad names; it just happens to be a circumstance of my existence. But if I were to provide any commentary about the topic to any expectant parents who want to name their kid Seafoam Green it’d have to simply be: don’t.

           My name doesn’t really bother me anymore, but I think that’s also a result of this journey, because before all this started I was concerned that maybe my name would be my only gimmick. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t get to be any more interesting than a cross-gendered name, because there’s a limit to how interesting people can be. Like when you introduce yourself to someone, you should be able to summarize all the interesting points of your life in the first fifteen minutes, and when I introduce myself to people we spend the first five minutes discussing my weird name. I thought that maybe if I was born a David or an Andrew I could put my interesting minutes to work by slaying dragons or saving princesses.

           When I was a kid I loved adventure stories: the mighty swords and steeds; the fair maiden turned damsel in distress; the unexpected hero and his crucial battle for justice against evildoers. That’s all I really wanted for myself – well, that and a dog, but I didn’t get the dog either – but I didn’t think that it was something that my tiny town in Colorado, wedged in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, could provide me.

           And then it was. Not the dog part, I never got that. But one auspicious day, a winter wind swept through town and it brought with it the most mystifying girl and her insanely smart father and together they changed my entire life. This is my story, my memoir, and it will help me remember every pounding heartbeat; every sinking feeling that I was “going to die;” every tear I’ve shed and all the blood I’ve seen; every wonderful, mind-blowing kiss; and, yes, even the boring parts which I’m trying to make not so boring by writing this.

           These are my fifteen interesting minutes, and I feel them ticking towards eternity the longer I spend with her.

           But we’ll get to my mystery girl in a moment, for now I want to go back to the beginning.

           I guess it all starts with…

  Chapter 1

 It was ten minutes until the New Year at Eva Daniels’ house. A couple dozen of my high school classmates were packed haphazardly into the living room while the television played live coverage from Times Square of a scantily clad popstar’s dance routine of radio’s favorite pop song. The singer looked angelic as a flurry of real snow began to fall on the stage, and she played it off as if the weather was planned into the routine. I was sitting towards the back of the room with my friend Mark Daly, but I could still see the screen over the heads in the crowded room since it was fixed at the top of the wall – sometimes forcing my eyes to see the screen to distract myself when something made me feel uncomfortable.

           The night had started okay. It was the third time I’d been invited to Eva’s annual party, but this time had been a little different. While before I had been invited because we were friends going back to elementary school, this year Eva was without a boyfriend, and she made it clear that she wanted me to be her backup kiss at midnight. I had no problem with that, of course, but I also knew that probably nothing could come out of it since we had grown too different over the years so I was basically still there as her old friend.

           Mark had found me early in the night and he clung to me like plastic wrap for the entire party, unmovable even when I’d gotten tired of being smothered and tried any subtle way I could to get him to let me breathe.

           “Yo, Mark,” I said at ten thirty, seeing his girlfriend glancing in our direction for no more than a second. “Jen is staring at you, man. You better get your black ass over there.”

           “Nah, B,” he replied in his lullaby chocolate voice, completely unfazed. “You gotta make ‘em wait for you.”

           “Hey, Mark,” I said at eleven, thinking I finally had the key to my human-shaped handcuffs. “Eva said she might want to kiss me at midnight. You mind if I go see what’s up?

           “Man, B,” he responded, rejecting my metaphorical key. “There’s no way Eva wants to kiss a fool like you. Get outta with that noise.”

           It’s not like I hated Mark; he was one of my best friends since we were kids. But I could sense something was weird about him that night and I would rather talk with him somewhere more private.

           “Mark, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I said at eleven thirty, even though I didn’t have to go to the bathroom.

           “All right, B.”

           For a second, I thought I was free, but I made it about three feet away before the sound of his voice stopped me again.

“Hey, can I tell you something?”

           I looked at him.

           “You’re a good friend,” he said, grinning with his teeth.

           I sighed and stepped back towards him. “Okay, what is up with you tonight?”

           “What?” he asked innocently. “I can’t tell a brother he’s a good friend?”

           I considered myself intuitive or observant at least, and I knew Mark well enough to see that something was bothering him. I actually saw it on his face as soon as he came up to me for the first time that night, but I didn’t want to say anything.

           “No, you don’t get to call me a good friend. Not if you’re not going to let me be one. What’s up with you tonight? You haven’t talked to anyone else here.”

           I sat back down on the barstool at the back of the room, and I listened to Sara Baker and Tess Newman talk about prom while I waited for Mark.

           “Same old Bailey,” he said, taking a seat on the stool next to me. “Never could let anything go.”

           I said nothing and let my attention shift towards the live feed from Times Square. They were announcing the popstar’s performance, “right after these words from our sponsors,” meaning “in fifteen minutes.”

           “My brother died two days ago.” Mark finally said flatly. There was no anger or sadness in his voice despite the bad news.

“What the hell,” I whispered, too shocked to say anything meaningful.

Mark told his story like he wasn’t part of it. Like he was trying to be as disconnected as possible from the experience, but I could tell he was hurting.

“He was driving home from work on the interstate and it was kind of icy. The car in front of him went into a skid. Bobby hit the brakes but it wasn’t enough. Bobby runs into the other guy’s bumper and the car behind him was tailgating so his headlights are in Bobby’s trunk a second later. Police were there in ten minutes but he was DOA. Bobby    was the only one dead. They said he would probably have survived the first impact.”

“What the hell,” I repeated.

“I didn���t want to bring you down. Sorry.”

Everything started to fade away. The sounds of the party dimmed and all that was left was the tragic news and the welling pain in my stomach. Bobby was my friend, even though he was seven years older than me he was my friend. Now he was gone. Mark was my friend, and I hurt for him and his family.

“What the hell are you doing here? You should be with your family.”

He shrugged. “Man, you’re my family, too. My dad said that we all needed to spend some time being alive before we can know what it’s like to be dead. Being here is good. Being with you, B…” He stuck out his fist and I bumped mine into his. “It’s good.”

I looked at him. He seemed to be handling it.

“What do you need me to do?”

“You, Bailey?” He shook his head. “Man, you don’t need to do anything. Just listen to this. You remember that time…”

He recounted the story. I looked at the TV a couple times. I watched the faces in New York. I saw people from every corner of the world gathering to see the spectacle. I began to cry. I cried passive tears without trembling, fighting a public breakdown so I wouldn’t ruin the cheerful mood of the party but still letting myself feel pain. He patted me on the shoulder and it was like he became the outsider attending to my tragedy.

“Damn, B. This a’int nothing to cry over.”

“What the hell do you want me to do?” I said with tears stuffing my nose.

“I already told you. You don’t need to do anything. I’m letting you know this is a new me. The only thing I can wrap my mind around these past few days is that the life you have is so tiny. It changes like that.” He snapped his fingers as he said the word. “In a hot second it’s gone for reasons you can’t even control. Man, you don’t need to cry for me or for Bobby. All I need is for you to laugh with me, because I already decided that I’m not gonna waste any more time on stupid shit. I wanna say what I mean, and do what I wanna do.”

On the television, the singer had finished her routine and out of the corner of my eye I saw Eva Daniels approaching us. I rubbed away the tears under my eyes. It looked like Mark was going to make a finishing statement to his grand speech, but Eva interrupted him.

“Hey, boys.” She spoke in a cheerful, girlish tone. “Glad to see you made it.” Technically, it was the first time she had spoken to me at the party, not counting the subtle wink she had given me at the door.    

“Thanks for having us, Eva,” Mark said calmly. “I almost canceled, but I knew all the cool kids would be here and I didn’t want to lose my membership.”

She giggled. “Well I’m glad you’re here. Can I see Bailey for a second?”

Mark raised his eyebrows in a way that I knew meant he was up to something. “Can I just say you are looking damn fine in that dress, Eva. Is it true that you want to kiss my man Bailey here?”

She looked at me again and I looked back at the TV. The one-minute countdown to midnight had appeared in the bottom of the screen and most of the people in the room were gathering to watch.

Eva shrugged and said “I don’t think that’s any of your business, but I would like to speak with him. Privately.”

“Ah.” Mark made a show of nodding as the clock ticked down. “Okay. I understand, but we’re having a discussion right now and it would be terrible if you filled his mind with girly things while I’m trying to impart some of my wisdom.”

           “Excuse me?” Eva said, looking almost panicked. The ten-second countdown had started and everyone in the room began chanting in unison. Ten. Nine.

           “You heard me, woman.” Mark said casually. Eight.

           “Bailey,” Eva addressed me. Seven.

           I started to stand, but Mark put his hand on my shoulder. Six. Five.

           Eva took my hand in hers, it was soft and small and a little sweaty. Four.

           Mark kept his hand on my shoulder as he got out of his chair and walked around to stand in front of me. It went silent for half a heartbeat as I looked from Mark to Eva and then back again. I wasn’t exactly sure what was about to happen. Three. Two.

“I LOVE BAILEY PRINCE!” Mark announced at the top of his lungs. One.

Midnight, the new year, Mark kissed me right on the lips. He grabbed me forcefully on either side of my face and squeezed my cheeks together so that my lips puckered naturally and he pressed his face into mine. His lips were chapped and rough and smaller than I expected and the stubble on his upper lip rubbed against me and felt strange. My eyes were open and I snuck a glance at Eva during the second Mark was kissing me. Her hand was still on mine but her grip loosened and her eyes got real wide so I could see a bit of shock in her sky blue irises. Mark held his face against mine for longer than I expected and I pushed him away when I thought he was about to stick his tongue in my mouth.

Eva didn’t kiss me after that. She sarcastically wished me “good luck,” and walked away quietly. Some of the other people at the party, attracted by Mark’s loud declaration watched the whole thing and the rumor spread over the rest of winter break that Mark and I were about to be the next hot couple in town. Of course that wasn’t true, but it made for a better story.

Meanwhile, I found myself thinking constantly about how Mark had boldly claimed that he was going to be a new person. Even so close to his brother’s death, he was able to laugh and be spontaneous and not care at all what people thought. The kiss represented something more to him. It showed his determination to experience new things and live freely. He shared that motivation with me and transferred something to me that night, some virus that infected my mind and made every part of me aware of how boring my life was. His actions made me want something more: adventure or purpose or love, something I couldn’t place my finger on but that I felt was missing like a giant, gaping hole in my chest.

As winter trudged along and Bobby’s funeral came and went, I felt more and more frustrated that I couldn’t figure out a way to break out of my sense of inadequacy. I was bored, and half a month later I was still struggling with my boredom.

 I opened my locker door on the first day of school of the new year and stared at the worn out bindings of the textbooks I hadn’t seen since last semester. Outside the clouds were grey and there was supposed to be a snowstorm coming, but school continued to be in session despite the predicted bad weather. Returning to my day job made me somehow more frustrated than I had been during the break. Everything was exactly as I left it, though I didn’t know what I expected to find changed.

           I started picking at the paint on the inside of my locker, letting my mind wander absently. I held the door with my other arm and swung my body back and forth with the creaking hinge, the repetitive motion slowly rocking my thoughts away.

           I was beginning to fall asleep on my feet, when I heard a loud slam on the wall behind me that startled me.

           "Well? You gonna give it?” A rough voice echoed off the wall, disturbing peaceful morning. “Or do I have to get The Jock here to shake it out of your backpack for you?"

           I turned to see Dylan Clifford, a five foot ten punk that fancied himself a bad boy, standing over a tiny, Indian kid. The bully acted like the over exaggerated representation of an Italian mob boss from a 70’s mafia film. He had the entourage, the saucy accent, and the perfectly rounded vowels to boot. Lacked the charisma, though. Actually, he might’ve been a choir boy if he hadn’t found his place as the power saw in the assemblage of tools at our school.

           The Indian boy was a new face, but he’d found himself as prey for the biggest delinquents in the school. I was too annoyed with my thoughts to want to get involved at first, but I figured I needed a distraction and decided to intervene on behalf of the kid’s milk money.

           “Hey, Clifford,” I shouted across the hallway and approached the group. Two of his goons tried to stop me in a synchronized move that must have taken months of practice to perfect, but I pushed through them to confront Dylan. He still had his arm against the wall, cornering the boy with the help of his evil sidekick, Rodney “The Jock” Hemsworth.

           “What’s the deal here?” I asked, “This little guy giving you trouble?”

           “Oh, hey Baby.” One time when we were kids I misspoke my name as ‘Baby Prince,’ and it stuck as one of my many, disparaging nicknames.

“I heard you had a fun time on New Year’s Eve. Deal here is this little twerp won’t give me the answers to the math homework we were supposed to do over break. And I know he has it, because he never forgets to turn it in during class.” He made a threatening motion with his fist towards the kid.

           “Wait, hold on.” I moved in between them, “You need answers to freshman math homework? You didn’t fail a grade, did you?”

           “No, Princess, I didn’t. I’m a junior, just like you. I’m just taking sophomore math ‘cause they wouldn’t give me credit for my pretty sixty percent last year. And this kid’s one of those… uh, whadd’ya call ‘em…” He started snapping his fingers like he was trying to summon the word.

           “Accelerated learners,” offered The Jock.

           “Yeah, Rod. That’s it. Accelerated learners.” He took a second to spit a wad of saliva onto the floor. “Some kids are too smart for their own good. They’re bound to get hit by the pecking order at some point or another. I’m doing him a favor.”

           I nodded my head sarcastically. “You have a point there,” I said, agreeably, “but this one is my friend and I’m not going to let you torture answers out of him. So here we go.” I tried to pull the kid from the crowd.

           Dylan swatted my arm away from his victim. “Hold up, Babe. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that. I’ll give you ten bucks right now if you can tell me this kid’s name.”

           He had me. I looked down at the kid then back at Dylan. I knew any hesitation would kill my story, so I responded quickly. “His name is Raj. Can we go now?”

           “Whoa, dude. No way.” He looked over at his goons and whispered at them. “That’s not the kid’s name, is it?”

           “Oh, yeah? So you actually bothered to learn his name? You’ve really changed, Dylan.” I fake applauded and then grabbed the kid’s arm and pulled him away before any of them could protest. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

           I shouted at Dylan over my shoulder as we left. “Your problem, Clifford, is that you have no respect for others. You’d be surprised to know that some people have more to offer you than test answers.”

           And by the time I’d finished babbling we’d made it past a corner and disappeared into the crowd while Dylan stared blankly.

           I hadn’t exactly thought about what I was going to do after I saved the kid so we just stood there awkwardly for a second or two without saying anything.

           The boy looked down at the floor, unwilling to make eye contact with me. I wasn’t able to get a good read on him, so I decided to just walk away. “Okay… well, see you,” I said awkwardly.

           I was just starting to turn as I heard his timid voice call out behind me. “My name’s Henry.”

           “Oh.” I turned around, but kept shuffling backwards. “Yeah, sorry about that, I was just trying to get you out of there.” I scratched my head but continued moving down the hallway.

           I knew it.” I heard Dylan’s shout come from across my shoulder and I whirled around. “Give me those answers, Henry, and we won’t have a problem.” He laughed. “You almost made me forget that I really needed to pass this class, Bailey.”

           “Hey, you didn’t call me ‘Princess’ this time.”

           “This is too serious for great nicknames. I need to copy those answers before second period.” Dylan made a lunge at the kid, whose favorite form of self-defense seemed to be The Possum because he went limp.

           I was a step faster than Dylan, and I grabbed the kid’s arm just in time to turn and run. “All right, man. Just run as fast as you can,” I whispered to him.

           I half-dragged Henry behind me, because it seemed like he only knew how to move with the robotic motions of a silicone doll. Luckily, he was only about as heavy as one, too, so I pulled him through the crowded hall and hoped that someone would eventually stop the stampeding group of low-lives. I snuck a glance back over my shoulder and saw Dylan and his posse pushing over anyone and everyone, even the people trying to get out of his way.

           My goal was the library. I figured if I couldn’t lose him in a sea of people it would probably be best to take shelter in an open space with adult supervision. We were still in high school, and judging by how hard he was trying to cheat his way through Sophomore level math he still had to worry about the authority.

           We dashed down the hallway, rounding a corner before arriving at the library. I checked behind us to see if Dylan was still following us and, seeing a sea of people part the middle of the hallway for him to pass, I assumed he was. I pushed Henry through the library doors and ducked in after him. Hopefully, Dylan would just give up, because my heart was already pounding from the unusual amount of exercise so early in the morning.

           The library was an open area with tables in the center of the floor and bookcases lining the walls. At the front of the room were small, study alcoves and a very simple check-out counter leading out to the only door. Some teachers were helping kids with early morning questions in the study alcoves and the school librarian was busy reading a book behind the counter so I decided it was a safe place to stay. I led Henry to one of the center tables and I sat across from him so I could watch the door.

           There was silence for a couple moments, during which Henry just stared at the floor and started wheezing to find his breath and I looked at the door behind him waiting for a crazed Dylan to bust into the room and order my execution. Nothing happened and finally, I couldn’t take the silence and had to break the tension.

           “So how was your Christmas break?” I asked.

           The kid was in worse shape than I was which only made me feel worse. “My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas,” he managed to say through shallow breaths.

           “I meant more along the lines of you doing anything special.” I kept one eye on the door while I actually looked at him for the first time since I’d seen him. He had features like a mouse with a nose that seemed to draw any attention directed towards it.

           “Why are you asking me this?” He sounded upset.

           I shrugged. “I don’t know, really. We’re going to have to wait here awhile though, so I thought I’d try to make conversation.”

           “Why do we have to wait here?” His voice started to sound almost hostile.

           “I mean, isn’t there someone who wants to kill you out there?”

           He looked down, avoiding eye contact. There was more silence before he finally squeaked “Why did you save me?”

           I thought for a moment, and felt like I didn’t know the answer myself. I spoke uncertainly.

           “I don’t know if ‘saved’ is the right word for it, but it looked like you needed help and I really don’t like Dylan.”

           “Oh.” He sat quietly for a second before looking up at me with fairy tale doe eyes. “I thought you might have wanted to be my friend.”

           Just so we’re clear, the sparkling eyes is an effect that only animated characters can accomplish. I took one look at him and decided his was a ridiculous theory, but I knew I couldn’t say that to his face.

           “It wasn’t really part of my plan,” I stated, but I saw his face get very sad which was almost an effect worse than the doe eyes, so I added quickly, “But, you know, I’m never above making new friends,” which elicited a toothy grin.

           Normally, I probably would have melted on the inside when such a childishly innocent creature made that kind of face at me, but somehow all I saw was a mistake of nature smiling at me with unusually large gums and braces restraining a massive overbite.

           I shoved the ugly feeling to the back of my brain and forced a smile back at him.

           “So how’s school, then?” I decided to give him a chance to let his shining personality break through his rough exterior.

           “It’s good. I have straight A’s.”

           “That’s… well that’s good.” I couldn’t think of anything more to say and I was suddenly aware that my chair was really uncomfortable.

           We sat like that for a good minute and I started to think that the mind-numbing silence was worse than getting beaten up by Dylan.

           “So, class is probably starting soon and I don’t want to be late,” I lied. “Why don’t we pick this up some other time?”

           “Okay,” he said, innocently.

           I stood up and started to walk away.

           “Actually,” he stopped me, and I was only two steps out of my seat, too close to pretend I hadn’t heard him. “Can I ask you something?” His voice was shaking.

           “Um.” I gazed longingly at the door, but forced myself to sit down because I knew I would feel bad if I just left. “Sure, what’s on your mind?”

           “Well, it’s about high school.” He kept stopping after every phrase, like he couldn’t get a complete thought to come out.

           “Okay. What about?” I tried to guide him, “Girls? Bad teachers? Did you meet Rocko? Don’t buy whatever he’s selling.”

           “It’s just that…” He paused again and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Well I moved here during the fall and I’ve been here for a semester already, but I haven’t really been able to make any friends. Everybody just seems to stare right through me and the only time people talk to me is when they have questions about homework.”

           When he finished, I felt bad about my previous thoughts. First impression, oppression, as my mother would say.

           I tried to come up with an answer for him, but it was hard because I knew I would definitely be one of those shameless people asking a freshman for help and I was obviously one of those people who wouldn’t bother to talk to him afterwards.

           “I can relate a little bit,” I lied, trying to give him what he needed to hear. “People like to pick on me because of my name; I have a really girly one. Bailey Prince.” I reached over the table to shake his hand and he giggled a little bit which made me smile.

           My awful concentration on his physical appearance seemed to melt away as I began to see just a lonely kid looking for a friend. I wanted to inspire him somehow, to help him escape from the natural, defensive shell that always seems to hinder the real, human experience.

           “You just have to stop worrying about what people will think about you if you just put yourself out there,” I said. “High school is this time when you’re supposed to figure out who you are. And all your classmates will pretend like they’re so complicated or they have everything under control, but they’re not and they don’t. We’re all the same, us high school students, we’re just looking for love, and direction, and test answers. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Because it’s okay to make mistakes. Just, really, don’t buy anything from Rocko; those aren’t the right mistakes you want to make.”

           It was cheese straight out of an afterschool special, but I figured everyone could stand to watch a little more, trashy television. I did feel a little pretentious trying to make generalizations about teenagers when I was clearly not any more mature than my peers, but my ego took a back seat as I tried to advise this kid who just wanted to be noticed by someone.

           I was about to tell him something about talking to girls when I saw the library door open. I nearly fell out of my seat expecting Dylan to show his face when I had just talked myself into a vulnerable position, but I let out a sigh of relief when the second librarian walked in, whistling cheerfully over the top of his coffee mug.

           Henry looked behind him and when he turned back around I gave a lopsided smile to acknowledge how stupid I looked. He giggled again and a warm wave of something I could only call serenity filled my insides. When the moment passed he told me he should probably get to class and I told him I’d see him around. But as I watched him walk away with his uneven gait, I started to realize something.

           I was finally ready to accept what my high school years had to offer. I wanted to take my own advice and learn something about what I wanted to do with myself. Mark had planted the seed in my heart, and the conversation with Henry had watered it, but I was letting it take root.

           I sighed as I realized that I was ready to leave.

TO BE CONTINUED!