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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Official Accounts Part 13- Confession

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Masterlist

Hawks was not prepared for you to walk out of the employee bathrooms looking as good as you did when he finally returned to the agency to hand the reigns over to Endeavor for the night. He had really been hoping to wait to call in the favor Endeavor owed him for covering his patrols, but the more time Hawks spent with you the more he needed answers. It was growing harder and harder to deny the way looking at you made his heart race. The way part of him wanted nothing more than to make you laugh even when he was trying to ascertain what you were up to. And the way his heart stopped when you walked out of that employee bathroom, Mina quickly rushing out behind you and giving you a thumbs up and a wink before departing, only further confirmed that he desperately needed to know what your intentions were.

“Ready to go, Kid?” he asks as he extends an arm to you. “Ready,” you said as you exhaled shakily in hopes of clearing your nerves. You linked your arm in his and with all the charm you had come to expect from the number two hero he guided you out of the office and onto the busy streets of the city. You would die before admitting it, but looking at Hawks under the glow of the city lights made him look ethereal. So much so you could hardly pull your eyes away. The two of you were talking of that you were sure, and you assume you were giving intelligible responses, but in all honesty if asked to recount the conversation you wouldn’t be able to. You were too caught up in the wonder that Hawks had chosen you of all people.

Eventually the smell of food brings you back to Earth as you realize Hawks has brought you to a tiny hole in the wall restaurant on the other side of town. Hardly anyone else is inside, all the big crowds are deeper into the city, but something about the quiet atmosphere is refreshing after the noise of all the bustling crowds. “Hawks!” The owner calls out cheerfully as he makes his way around to the two of you. “Glad you finally made it. I’ve got a special table reserved for you out back,” the owner grins. “Ah you really do spoil me. Lead the way,” Hawks laughs as the owner does just that.

You’re guided to the back and out the door only to find an entirely separate seating area, deserted. Fairy lights provide the main source of light, giving the whole thing a dream-like quality. When the owner departs after seating the two of you, you and Hawks are left alone in the romantic atmosphere and you can’t help but feel nervous. Yet one look across the table at your date for the evening, especially when he flashes That Grin(tm) at you, eases your mind almost immediately.

The night feels nothing short of magical as the two of you laugh over drinks and the best ramen you’ve ever had in your life but as the food and alcohol settle in your stomach the conversation turns to deeper topics. “Can I ask you a potentially personal question?” Hawks asks. “Sure,” you shrug as you take another sip of your drink. “Is it weird having all your friends be pro heroes? You didn’t ever think about joining in yourself?” he asks. “You’re asking ‘cause of how I reacted to Chargebolt after that one patrol right?” you ask. He’s not. He asking to determine your possible motives. But he can’t say that, so instead he shoots you a sheepish grin and rubs the back of his neck as he lies “that obvious, huh?” “It’s a fair question and you’re not the first to ask,” you laugh. “It’s kind of a heavy story though, I don’t wanna bring down the mood,” you admit, looking away from the gorgeous, curious man across from you.

Suddenly you feel a gentle hand on your chin turning your head to make you look him in his eyes again. “You could never, Kid,” he assures you with as much faux sincerity as his brain can muster even if his heart is pleading with him to be genuine. You gulp and in that moment Hawks thinks he’s finally caught you.

“My mom was a pro hero. She didn’t break top 10 or anything but growing up she was Denki and I’s idol. I’m pretty sure she’s the reason he wanted to become a pro hero so bad in the first place. For a little while I wanted to be one too,” you begin. This was it. Hawks was sure of it. Any moment now you’d confirm your resentment that you never lived up to your mother and it would explain your rage and the training and your fascination with him and- “She uhm, she died in a villain attack when I was in middle school. Things just weren’t the same after that so I abandoned the idea of being a pro hero,” you confessed.

Oh...

Oh that was not what Hawks was expecting at all.

“When I found out Denki still wanted to be one I stopped talking to him for like a month. I forgave him eventually, obviously, but uh I refused to get back on the hero path. I knew too well the constant stress and pressure my mom was under and in the end all it did was encourage her to push too far and get herself killed. I know UA’s general studies course has a reputation of being for the hero course rejects but I only went to UA to keep an eye on Denki. If I couldn’t stop him from becoming a hero then at least I could make sure he didn’t push himself too far, y’know? Then I re-did the computer system and administration insisted I swap over to hero support. Eventually I realized that if it weren’t for my mom a lot more people would’ve died and while it sucks she had to make that sacrifice I know she’d do it again in a heartbeat. Even scarier Denki and Katsuki and Mina and Hitoshi and Eiji would all do it too. So while I can’t bring myself to become a pro hero myself, at the very least I can do my best to make sure the heroes get home safe.”

You’re not sure when exactly during your story you had begun crying but you swipe at your eyes to wipe the tears away now. You bring your gaze back to Hawks’ and open your mouth to apologize for ruining the mood but are instead surprised by the feeling of his lips on yours. There’s a split second of shock where you do nothing, but the moment it passes you return his kiss eagerly.

You are perfect. Every fiber of Hawks’ being screams that you are perfect. If anyone could possibly hope to understand him, his heart and his gut and now finally his head tell him it’s you. And with that realization comes an overwhelming amount of guilt. He had treated you like a villain when all you had done was be good to him and all those around you. He wants to apologize. God, how he wants to apologize. But that would require admitting he’d treated you with suspicion, that this “date” had been a ruse. So he says nothing, and he kisses you with passion and heartache and guilt and understanding and something that feels suspiciously like love. He kisses you with every single emotion that is coursing through him and hopes that will be enough.

Author’s Note: I feel like Hawks is the type who falls fast and hard once he lets himself fall. Writing this chapter was ROUGH. Hawks and (y/n) are in such wildly different places emotionally from start to finish. I’ve been trying to minimize the amount of written portions because it feels a bit like a betrayal of the smau format (and I like the challenge of restricting it) but there’s some stuff coming up down the line that just wouldn’t be discussed over text so there will probably be more soon. This was another monster chapter but we’re really getting into the thick of the story now so I’m not shocked

Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu

#hopelessoa #hawks #hawks x reader #wing hero hawks #hawks x y/n

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leaveharmony · 6 years

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** this got mad towards the end and it wasn't a targeted sort of mad at anyone in particular so much as a tired & probably-stemming-from-always-having-thing-I-enjoy-and-the-way-I-engage-with-it belittled sort of mad. And as my father has always taught me, having or expressing emotions is shameful and wrong, so sorry.

Idk I think it's like....harder for me to cast judgement RE: ~cheating scandals~ or w/e because it goes back to it all being completely theoretical to me. No one's ever, face to face, at any time in any way expressed any kind of romantic interest in me whatsoever, I've never been in a relationship of any kind. It hasn't come up, and that's fine. Whether this is a case of you cannot miss what you've never had or whether I'm just like....a broken empty vessel for whom the yearning for human contact has gone beyond recall or desire, I dunno, and it doesn't concern me. This isn't a pity me statement or an uwu secret crush notice me statement, I literally don't care at this point and tbh can't remember ever having done so.

Probably my oldest friend at this point, she....like as long as I've known her she's dated married men almost exclusively (and this started when we were both in highschool, when she was screwing around w/ her married english teacher - something I now understand was shocking predatory behaviour and probably statutory rape besides, but she does not acknowledge it as such so bring it up isn't my place). She's been seeing the current one for at least three years now, I think, and he's married. It's certainly an uncomfortable thing, and god knows I don't believe he could possibly think much of her or his wife if he's been doing this for so long and never once manned up and been honest or seriously considered ending his marriage. But it's her life and we don't talk much anymore anyway, so I've never felt like it was my job or my place to be her therapist RE: holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you why do you do this to yourself and how could you do this to someone else?

Like full disclosure she started ‘seeing’ that english teacher when we were sort of puppy love internet-together (another long story but she wanted to or at least said she did and I sorta went along with it cos I didn't want to hurt her feelings...which of course, then it certainly seemed v. much like she didn't have many of, considering within a week she was having it off w/ someone else...again, this was a detached ‘Oh’ kind of moment, not really connected to any real hurt as she had instigated this and I hadn't really felt anything myself...it was upsetting in a sort of, ‘so this is what people do when they tell you they love you, that is disappointing but I guess life is not fiction’ kind of way but not in a ‘how could you, I love you’ kind of way. As a first/only experience it could have gone better tbh, but it certainly gave me the right level of expectation afa being used & discarded when someone more convenient came along).

It's possible that most of the people I have ever known have just been fundamentally really bad at relationships and so I just sort of assume this is a normal thing; my father is an abusive shitbag and we're inescapably trapped with him, grandpa was a sort of...disinterested stick in the mud with a frightening temper for whom my grandmother gave up all her interests in sports and the outdoors because he did not share them. Wabs never married, Tosh told me like she was expecting a pat on the back and a medal that she'd been faithful to her husband as he died of cancer 'even though she ‘didn't have to be.’ And my instinctive reaction wasn't GOOD FOR YOU so much as it was “....what?!” but again...I didn't speak, because what the fuck do I know? Maybe ppl run off and start seeing other ppl as soon as their partners get so much as a headcold all the time.

Ppl just sorta get abused and trampled and left and cheated on and discarded, or they do the same to others, and it just looks like a hell of a mess I'm well out of, tbh. Which I guess is another reason...unless somebody's getting beat or otherwise abused, I feel like it's none of my business. So honestly, “Tana slept around when he was single and one day some chick he canoodled with for like two months stabbed him for it” is filed under “Yeah that'll happen, thank god he didn't die” rather than “Hahahahaha karma amiright he totes deserved it, domestic abuse and attempted murder are hilarious when they’re directed at men who’re full of themselves!”

Nobody needs to tell me to have low fuckin' expectations for men, ok, I live under the boot of one of their idiot kings. Tell me Tana fatshames his family for eating, tell me he gaslights them or acts like when they’re hurt or injured they’re making it up to personally inconvenience him, tell me they have to rigidly control their emotions around him to avoid setting off his violent temper, and ok. Tell me he's a bigot, tell me he hits his family, tell me he hates women, tell me he's a rapist, ok. But like...’he had a lot of sex and probably hurt people's feelings’ is not really high on my list of cardinal offenses b/c as far as I can tell, that's fucking everyone. It isn't like he still does, it isn't like he's not tried to put it behind him and grow from it and be better. It's practically his motto. Why is ‘I acted in a shitty way but I'm trying to atone and I still look back and feel guilty about it’ only an admirable, affirming thing to aspire to when it's a tumblr post & not when a guy is straight up saying it? Which he has, on multiple occasions. Can't change the past, can only try to learn from it.

At. Least. He. Fucking. Tries.

When has redneck george ever walked back his comments about gay ppl or his Islamophobia, when has Lesnar? Beyond a token apology and chasing it w/ a dozen I'M NOT A RACIST THO interviews when has Hogan really acknowledged the depths of how he fucked up? When did Warrior apologize for his vile bigotry, where's Elgin sincerely regretting being a fucking piece of shit dragging a rape victim's name through the mud? Jericho's response to ‘hey maybe you shouldn't be advertising your cruise by saying there will be loads of bikini-clad women there available for you to ogle’ was essentially ‘are you triggered, bro, y so srys?’ and at no point did he objections seriously. Orton never so much as thinks for two seconds before condemning BLM protesters or footballers who take the knee, AND he voted for Trump, but other than hollowly chanting that he's not a racist while blatantly doing things that are racist, silence. Honma beat his girlfriend, Snuka murdered his partner, Austin smacked Debra around, Angle got stoned out of his mind and broke into his ex's apartment, X-Pac hit Chyna, exactly how often do they refer back to what happened, when did they apologize or express regret or even acknowledge any of it? I mean I guess Benoit can't, what with the fucking suicide after he bashed in Nancy's skull and murdered his son.

Ppl have different things they can tolerate and forgive, is I guess my point, or at least one of them. Which is fine! I mean...I'd sure fucking side-eye anybody who writes any of the above a pass, but, I guess everybody's stories and reasons are different.

I like Tana. I'm a fan of his. Ok? Like it probably sounds like I think he's a flawless angel crowned with light b/c compared to my fucking father, he IS. It doesn't mean I'm being willfully blind to mistakes he's made or that I'm absolving him of every sin he's ever committed. I think he's a good person and it's heartening and encouraging that he's in the world and if saying so without adding 18 asterisks about past behaviour and an disclaimer acknowledging all men as shit and all people as inherently flawed makes me a gullible childish ~fangirl~ than ok, I guess I am. Everybody knows my tags for wrestling/wrestlers, which are there as much as a courtesy to anybody who needs to blacklist as they are a filing system for me (that’s why there’s a catch-all! For ppl I haven’t thought up tags for yet or don’t intend to!), and tumblr savior is right there if me being silly about my favs in my own space bothers everybody so fucking much, god knows it wouldn't be the first time I set somebody cringing and they had to tune me out before they quietly dropped my ass like a particularly stupid puppy on a country road. That I am a sloppy fawning emotional mess of untreated neurosis who hyperfixates on things & people who make me feel halfway hopeful for entire minutes at a time & gets stupidly overexcited about stuff isn't new information to me, so if you can't deal with that then... Well...sorry, honestly. Like sincerely. I know how I am and I try not to be but I can't help it sometimes when I like something. Don't feel bad about leaving if you don't want to deal with it, cos I get it, honestly. Have exactly zero (0) guilt feelings about it. I’m a fundamentally repulsive creature, ppl have hard limits on how long they can put up with me, and so it has always been, and so it goes.

#Tanariffic #COMPUTER: ERASE THAT ENTIRE PERSONAL LOG

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renamusing · 7 years

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1, 3, 4, 5, 9, 14, 21

this some cruel shit mack, but thank u

1.What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*Aside from any pairing involving Gintoki and the kids, which I shouldn’t even need to mention, pairings like Hijikata & Takasugi or Hijikata & Tae, basically pairings where there has been little to no interaction in canon between the characters. I mean, there are many ships out there I don’t like but I understand how ppl find the characters shippable, yet those two (for example) just don’t add up imo.

A pairing I also see a lot of (especially on twitter) and don’t get AT ALL is Sanji & Law. OR Sanji and his siblings, i mean for fuks sake ???

3.Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?Of course, I’m only human. But usually when I unfollow someone it tends to be because of the way they express their opinions rather than the simple fact I disagree with them. Blacklisting stuff helps. Unless they hate on gh, instant unfollow, I got better shit to do.

4.Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*I don’t think so? Maybe Kondo and Toshi? I don’t see them that way and I get a little mad when I see stuff about them cause it’s like ‘WHY DONT PEOPLE GET THEIR DYNAMIC???’. Same happens in SW fandom with Luke and Wedge ig.

5.Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*Emm/erd/ale fandom ruined Ro/b/ron for me for almost 2 years, I think gntm fandom ruined a few characters for me, thus ruining any pairing involving them. Like, I wish I could enjoy Kyuubei or Tsukuyo more so I could write gay shit for them, but it’s just impossible. I’ve read too much discourse. This applies to so many pairings tho, there’s always one character in the ship that people shit on so much it just becomes rotten.

9.Most disliked character(s)? Why?Lmao I was starting to spew my crap on characters I dislike when I read this question. I don’t even know where to begin. I mean, it always comes down to bad writing, man. I know it probably sounds like a bad excuse, but the characters I ‘dislike’ are usually the ones I find boring or two-dimensional. They’ve either not had the opportunity to grow/show other sides of their personality through challenging events or they exist only as a crutch to other characters. There are always exceptions sure, e.g. Madao only exists for comic relief now, but I still enjoy his scenes (to a limited extent lol). But you know, Takasugi & his whole troupe, Kamui, even Sougo sometimes, it is as if there’s no reason for the way they act aside from Sorachi’s convenience. I wish he had built them a bit more solid. Or maybe I’m just dumb. It took me actual years to understand why Takasugi was an asshole, I still wonder what his purpose is tbh, and Kamui… the boy cant even reason right cause he is missing half a brain. He looked much cooler at the start, when he appeared out of nowhere and we didn’t know he had father-issues. Sougo is Sougo. He hasn’t been a full-fleshed character since his sister died, noah offense.

14.Unpopular opinion about your fandom? None, it’s pretty chill in comparison to others I follow. People have a problem with popular pairings though, but it’s understandable.

21.What are your thoughts on crack ships?I don’t really care or mind.

That’s it, I hope you had a laugh uwu

#i feel like a forgot to mention a million things #oh well #thanks again for the ask mack!!!!#reuenthals

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Official Accounts Part 17- The Patrol Redux

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Warning: Very slight spoilers for the provisional licensing exam in the anime and spoiler for the manga

Masterlist

Hawks was well accustomed to the jovial persona he was expected to put on in front of pretty much everyone outside of the commission. After all, it was one he’d cultivated almost his whole life. Of course he had days throughout the years where it felt all too exhausting to play the joker, but hero work was exhausting. That was the nature of the business. But since he’d watch your heart shatter in real time, since he’d heard you crying on the other side of a bathroom door all while you texted him about his betrayal, the persona hadn’t just been exhausting but absolutely suffocating. Yet he couldn’t turn it off. It was almost more natural to be Hawks than it was to be Keigo now. Even when Mirko had pointed out how rough he looked, his instinct had been to sit up straighter and perk up his wings as if that would hide the bags under his eyes. Hawks never dropped the persona. But as he sat on the roof of a building by where he intended to meet Chargebolt he realized he would probably have to.

Mirko had given him a plan. A really good one at that. If it worked he’d have to thank her later. But there was no way it would if he wasn’t genuine and that meant meeting Denki Kaminari as Keigo Takami. If the conversation stayed between Chargebolt and Hawks he was screwed. Knowing it was necessary and actually doing it, however, were two different beasts entirely. He would have to ignore every instinct he had honed over the more than decade he’d been a ward of the HPSC.

It had taken all of Denki’s strength to leave the apartment. You had looked so sad bundled up in his comforter staring blankly at your laptop screen as you went back and forth between attempting to work from the safety of his home and Netflix. Eventually though he had managed to pull himself away from his heartbroken friend, no matter how much it pained him, to go join the very person who had shattered you so thoroughly. He had wanted to cancel his patrols with Hawks but after the gossip blog had tweeted out about a potential feud his agency had demanded he keep it in order to avoid a pr nightmare. Who knew being a hero came with so much politics.

He expected Hawks to swoop down from above once he arrived at their designated meeting spot. He did not expect Hawks to look as bad as he did. “You look like shit,” Denki says by way of greeting. Hawks let’s out a humorless chuckle, “you’re the second person to tell me that today. Let’s go.” Everything about the experience is odd. As the two begin to walk Denki notices the bags under his eyes, the heavy set to his shoulders. For the first time ever Hawks truly looks like a man who carries the weight of Japan on his shoulders. “I know I have no right to ask this but how is she doing?” Hawks asks. Denki wants to snap back something snarky but something tells him not to. “Not good,” he says instead, shoving his hands into the pockets of his costume. Hawks thinks for a long moment, debating whether to ask the next question that comes to mind. In the end he decides he’s got nothing left to lose. “What happened at the provisional licensing exam?” “Dude.” “Not investigating. I swear.”

It’s weird to see Hawks so serious. Even when Denki had been injured during their first patrol Hawks hadn’t stopped bantering even once. It’s what had made Denki want to continue patrolling with him in the first place. At the time he thought they were similar. Class clowns who knew how to pull it together when the going got tough. But now all traces of that joviality seemed gone, except for the few moments the two of them would pass by a civilian, then he’d watch it slide back on like a second skin. “I’ll tell you on one condition. You explain the whole funny guy act thing you’ve got going on right now. It’s creeping me out a little seeing you switch back and forth dude,” Denki says.

Hawks stops dead in his tracks. His jaw clenches because it’s fair, trading one personal fact for another, but it goes against everything the HPSC has taught him. On the other hand, if he refuses, Denki will assume he’s just investigating again and then his chances of winning you back would really be gone. Denki looks confused as Hawks agonizes. He didn’t think it was that deep a question. Expected something along the lines of why All Might used to smile as he saved people. “It was the commission’s idea. I was a quiet kid and quiet doesn’t play well for a top hero,” Hawks finally admits before resuming walking. Denki has to speed up a little to keep pace. It’s an odd answer but he recognizes it must’ve been a difficult one to give. And, well, a deal is a deal.

“Like I said, (y/n) only took the exam because I pressured her into it,” Denki starts. He expected Hawks to perk up at learning new information about you but the man only nods in acknowledgment that he’s listening. “I thought if she got her license it’d convince her to try to be a pro hero again and then she could switch over to the hero course and join my class. She absolutely crushed the first part of the exam too. Yknow we had to tag targets on each other with these balls they gave us. It felt like a game so it was fun for her because she just smoked people out of the water. You should’ve seen Bakugo’s face when he realized she passed before he did! But uh, not the point.... The, uh, the point is uhm second round didn’t go so hot. We were helping some of the fake civilians when Gang Orca broke into the arena to play a villain attacking during a rescue and it, uh, it hit a little too close to home. Reminded her too much of how her mom died. She ended up having a panic attack. That’s why she failed and that’s why she didn’t bother going to any of the supplemental classes afterwards.”

The weight on Hawks’ shoulders seems to grow. “God I really am the worst aren’t I?” he chuckles. “Yea you kinda are,” Denki agrees, “but you’re kinda making it hard for me to hate you. Looking all torn up over this like that. It’s depressing seeing the number two hero like this yknow.” “Hence the persona,” Hawks shrugs. It’s quiet today, although they both expected as much. At least it gave them the space to talk. “Why’d you do it Hawks?” Denki finally asks. “Because she was too good to be true.” “Funny. She said the same thing about you that day.” “I’m many things but I don’t know if good is one of them anymore.” “Because of what happened with (y/n)?” “No. Not just that.” “I think this is the most honest I’ve ever seen you.” “This is the most honest I’ve ever been.” “How’s it feel?” “Terrifying. Mirko says I have trust issues.” “Yea that lines up.” “I need to talk to (y/n).”

Denki is the one to stop in his tracks this time. “I swear to god Hawks if you’re just trying to jerk her around I-“ “No! No it’s not that. I-,” Hawks sighs, “I just want a chance to explain why I am the way I am. Why I was so suspicious in the first place. If she wants nothing to do with me after that then that will be the end of it. I’ll write her a glowing recommendation letter for whatever hero agency she’d rather work at instead and she’ll never hear from me again. I swear.” Denki gives Hawks a considering look. Part of him wants to deny Hawks. That’s what Bakugo would do. Tell him to fuck off and keep his stupid explanations to himself. But he thought about you, curled up in his comforter, and decided it really shouldn’t be his decision whether Hawks stayed in your life or not. And if you were going to decide, you deserved to do so knowing all the facts. “Fine. After we finish patrol you can come with me to my place and talk to her but I swear to god if you make her cry again or I detect any bullshit, I’ll fry you Hawks. Number two hero or not I’ll send a million volts straight through your face with my fist.” “Thank you.” It was sighed out like a prayer. For the first time since you’d seen his texts, Hawks felt hopeful.

Author’s Note: Denki and Mirko are good friends to (y/n) and Hawks :’) In my mind there’s no way the HPSC didn’t know about Touya so I assume they helped Endeavor cover it up and would do their absolute best to make sure word didn’t get out about him being a literal child abuser

Taglist [open]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu @someweirdshitman @oliviasslut

#hopelessoa #hawks #hawks x reader #wing hero hawks #hawks x y/n #hawks smau

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Official Accounts Part 22- Keigo

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Warnings for manga spoilers related to Hawks’ backstory

Masterlist

Seeing Hawks without his wings isn’t any easier the second time around. If anything, it’s harder because the first time you’d seen him he’d barely been lucid, certainly not lucid enough to feel his wings’ absence, and he’d passed right back out before he could truly become aware of his surroundings. Now you can practically feel his grief as you step into his room. He’s sitting up in the hospital bed but his face is turned away from you as he stares listlessly out the window. The nurse who had helped you from your room to his gives you a quiet “good luck” before closing the door behind you. “Are there any cameras or audio recording devices in here?” you ask with faux casualness by way of greeting. “No. HPSC can’t risk my health info getting out so this room is as private as it gets,” Hawks replies, “why?” ��Because Keigo,” Hawks freezes, his eyes snapping to meet yours, “I kinda promised I wouldn’t call you that where anyone else could hear,” you finish. To your surprise, and his, a tear slowly makes its way down his face. “I’m sorry! You told me I could! I didn’t think you’d-“ “Me either,” he laughs, cutting you off before swiping at his eyes to make sure no more tears fall. “Sorry I guess it’s just uh- no one’s called me that in a very long time,” he explains as you sit on the side of his bed. “Do you want me to stop?” you ask cautiously but he shakes his head. “No it’s... it’s nice. Different,” he admits.

For a moment you both sit in silence. You figured he shouldn’t be alone but now that you’re actually in his room with him you have no idea where to start. “Hey, look on the bright side, at least you’re finally getting some time off,” you joke in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I don’t want time off!” Hawks snaps gritting his teeth. You’re stunned by his reaction. Not by the fact he doesn’t want to take time off. Hawks’ workaholic tendencies were no secret to you. More you were shocked by the vehemence of his reaction. “I’m sorry I just....” he says as he scrubs a frustrated hand over his face. “You just what?” You press slightly. “I can’t not work that long.” “What do you mean?” “I don’t know how.” “Hawks” “Keigo” “Right, Keigo. I know you were like the youngest pro ever to have their own agency or whatever but you still started your career at what 17-18? You lived before you were a pro hero you just need to recapture that a little.” “No... I didn’t. My hero education was a little.... different.” “What does that mean?” “It’s a long story.” “We’ve got time.” Hawks laughs at your response, although there isn’t much joy in it. You notice the muscles in his shoulders and back twitch as if trying to flex his wings and it pains you a little to see the way his face drops when he doesn’t feel anything move.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “No. No I want to tell you. I was planning on it actually. That’s why I was with Chargebolt when he went back home yesterday,” he explains. “Well in that case I’m all ears.” He takes a deep breath to steady himself and leans back against the hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Literally no one except the HPSC knows what I’m about to tell you. No one,” he admits as one hand grips the sheets tightly. You place a gentle hand on top of it and he shoots you an appreciative look before taking your hand and then returning his gaze to the ceiling. He takes one last deep breath. “My uh real name is Keigo Takami. My father is a villain. He’s currently serving time for multiple robberies and homicides. Endeavor was the one who picked him up. My mom had long been out of the picture by then and no one could find her so I became the state’s problem. I was 5, just starting to figure out how my w-“ his words catch in his throat for a moment and you give his hand a reassuring squeeze but say nothing to avoid interrupting him. “Just starting to figure out my quirk and I guess the HPSC took notice and saw potential so they stepped in, arranged a meeting with me. All I had were the clothes on my back and a little Endeavor doll my mom must’ve given me when I was little. They offered to make me a hero like Endeavor so I agreed and became a ward of the HPSC. By the time I was seven I had a hero name and by the time I was eight it was the only thing they’d call me. I barely remember a time before I was training to be a hero and the few memories I do have from before aren’t good ones. So yes, officially, my career didn’t start until I was 18 but pretty much my whole life has been devoted to being a hero. Without hero work I am nothing.” “That’s not true.” “It is. Everything I do outside of hero work is fake. My personality is manufactured. Quiet broken kids from broken villain families don’t play well in the press as top heroes so they killed Keigo Takami and birthed Hawks from the ashes.” “Well I’m not speaking to Hawks right now am I?” you ask. He’s a little stunned to find you’re right. “No, I guess not,” he concedes. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Move over,” you tell him. “What?” “I said move over!” you insist, using your free hand to push him to emphasize your point. He continues to give you a confused glance but eventually does as asked. You release his hand as you climb into the hospital bed, trying to be careful not to further disturb your injuries or his. Once you’re situated and comfortable you turn to Keigo and open your arms wide in an invitation, the same way Denki has done a million times for you. “What are you doing (y/n)?” “When was the last time you let someone hold you?” Keigo thinks about it and comes up pretty empty. “The HPSC isn’t the loving family type so much as the nonstop brutal training type.” “I figured as much so come here.” “(Y/n)...” “Look if you’re really that uncomfortable I’ll drop it but we’re friends now Keigo. And in my friend group when one of us is upset we cuddle,” you declare. Keigo’s calculating gaze casts over you looking for the slightest hint of hesitation, doubt, or regret yet he finds nothing to indicate your offer is anything but genuine. So he gives in. He falls into your embrace, letting you wrap your arms around him as he buries his face in your neck and wraps his arms around your torso. The silent tears come shortly after but neither of you comment on it. “How about you stay with me until your wings grow back. We can learn who Hawks is outside of hero work together,” you offer. Keigo freezes in your arms for a moment but only melts deeper into your touch when you move a hand to stroke through his hair. “I’d like that,” he responds in a whisper. “Good.”

Author’s Note: Honestly I expected this to end up longer but I’m happy with how it turned out. Keigo deserves friends and I’m excited to explore him outside of hero work. The next few parts should be interesting and I have a feeling the rest of the series will feature a lot of written parts based on the ideas I’ve got bouncing around rn but I guess we’ll see

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#hopelessoa #wing hero hawks #hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

Text

Official Accounts Part 29- Tea Talk

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Warning for recreational drug use

Masterlist

You walk into your apartment somewhat exhausted. You’d spent the whole day doing hardware fixes and tinkering with some of the new equipment the commission had sent over. You greatly preferred software so days you are primarily doing hardware work are always harder. For a moment you forget you aren’t occupying your home alone, and then suddenly you hear the sound of your kettle whistling. You wander into the kitchen to find Keigo grabbing out two mugs. His wings are finally starting to grow back in earnest although they’re still too small to fly with. Seeing them reminds you of small cherub wings almost and every so often you’ll catch him fluttering them just a little bit as if to confirm they’re really there. You notice a few of his feathers rifling through your tea cabinet to find your favorite before dropping a bag in each mug. The sight makes you smile.

“Isn’t your spot typically on the counter little techie?” Keigo asks, interrupting your thoughts as he pours the hot water. You hop up on the counter and take the mug he offers you. “That it is Kei,” you smile. “You sent your friends to check on me,” he replies casually as he moves to lean against the counter just like that first time the two of you had tea together. “I did,” you confirm. “Thank you. I hated it but I needed it. So thank you.”

The two of you lapse back into silence for awhile. It’s different this time. Not uncomfortable per say, but there’s a weight to the silence. You can tell Keigo wants to say something but can’t quite get himself to. Perhaps he’s searching for the perfect wording to express his thoughts. Perhaps he isn’t sure he’s truly ready to share them at all. Regardless, you wait patiently. You wait patiently even as your tea cools. You wait patiently even as you start to drink it. You’re still waiting patiently as you finish off your tea and Keigo’s grip tightens around his still full mug in apparent frustration. You put your own mug down before carefully prying Keigo’s away from him. He waits for the moment you ask what’s wrong, a sense of failure already sinking in because even with how much he’s let his guard down around you he still can’t completely let go. He dreads the moment you ask because he just knows he won’t be able to tell you and it will break your heart again. He braces himself. And then you ask your question: “Wanna get high for the first time?”

He blinks at you, surprised, and wonders how you do it. How did you know he wouldn’t be able to handle disappointing you again? “Sure,” he finally replies. “I’ll meet you on the balcony,” you tell him with a small smile before hopping off the counter and heading to your bedroom, where Denki had left the remaining weed from the party the other night. By the time you head to the balcony, the door is open and Keigo is sitting on the floor outside, staring up at the sky. You close the door behind you as you step out to join him before taking a seat next to him. He watches as you somewhat clumsily roll a joint for the two of you. “Denki has always been better at this than I am,” you chuckle sheepishly. “I think you’re doing great,” Keigo responds. “Of course you would. You have no idea what great rolling looks like,” you tease before procuring a lighter from your pocket. “Ok, so here’s how this goes,” you start, “if you don’t want to cough here’s the trick. First bring the smoke into your mouth, hold it there for a second, and then inhale more and bring it into your lungs. Got it?” “Got it.” “Good.”

You put the joint to your lips and carefully light it. You take your time drawing it in and Keigo can’t help but think there’s something strangely beautiful about the way you do it. When you’ve finished you pass it to him and watch as he carefully follows your directions. You resist the urge to giggle at how serious he looks. “Relax Keigo, that’s kind of the point,” you tease. He rolls his eyes but does his best to not think quite so much on his second hit. After you’ve each taken a few hits, you give him a considering look and then decide to address what had made you invite him to smoke with you in the first place. “Look I’m not saying you should make weed the answer every time you’re struggling to open up. I refuse to be the reason the number two hero picks up a drug addiction. But you also looked like you were going to give yourself an aneurysm trying to say whatever it is you wanted to say. So we’re going to sit here and smoke and it will mellow you out and if you decide you can and want to say whatever it is that was on your mind in the kitchen that’s great. If not, well, that’s fine too,” you assure him. The thank you Keigo gives you is quiet but genuine, and you cherish it all the more for it.

It takes about an hour for Keigo to finally work up the courage to speak his mind.

“I owe you a talk,” he confesses.

“What do you mean?”

“About why I did what I did. I haven’t really explained. Not specifically. And you deserve that. Especially with everything you’ve done for me these past few days.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” you assure him. “I really, really do,” he responds.

He takes a few deep breaths, another hit, and then he slowly starts to explain: “I didn’t investigate you because I never liked you like that. I liked you so much it was frankly terrifying. Ever since that first late night at the office with you after you agreed to run my social media, you’ve shown me you understand me in ways that I didn’t even think possible. My mom didn’t love me enough to take me with her when she bolted. My dad certainly never loved me. Thank god Endeavor saved me and carted my father off to jail but I had such a clinical and tactical childhood. I... I couldn’t comprehend why you would want to be involved with me without an ulterior motive. I asked you on the date primarily to interrogate you yes. I won’t insult your intelligence by trying to lie about that. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be with you. It was because I wanted to be with you so bad, I desperately needed to prove you really were just crazy enough to like me back.”

“Oh Keigo... Thanks for telling me,” you say. He nods and silence falls over you both once again as you debate whether to say what’s on your mind. You take another hit, holding it in your lungs a little longer this time before releasing it into the cold night. “Now which of us is holding back?” Keigo prods as he plucks the joint from your fingers to take a hit of his own. “I just....” you sigh, “there’s something you should know about Endeavor.” “What do you mean?” “He’s not who you think he is.”

Hawks looks at you incredulously. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? “No offense but I think I know him a little better-“ “He’s a child abuser.” You’re just as shocked by your outburst as Hawks is, judging by the way he’s staring at you. “No. That’s not possible,” Hawks insists. “It’s true. The reason Dabi became a villain is because Endeavor pushed him too far in training and it literally almost burned him away entirely. Until recently Endeavor thought he was dead because of how massive the fire was. Then he trained Shoto into the ground as well to try and prevent him from turning out like Dabi. Like Touya.”

“You’re lying,” Hawks accuses desperately as he stands and begins to pace the small length of your balcony. “You know me well enough to know I’m not,” you fire back. “Who told you all this?” “Dabi.” “And you’re just going to trust him!?” “Of course not! But it makes sense doesn’t it? How the fuck else would the son of the long time number two and now number one hero end up a villain? Plus you never met Shoto in high school. He hated his father for years and even now their relationship is strained at best. It all lines up, Keigo!” you insist and it hurts. It hurts to see Hawks looking so distressed. It hurts to watch as his worldview crumbles in front of your eyes. “But I’m only here because I wanted to be like him,” Hawks finally admits, stopping in his tracks and trembling in place. “You are so much better than him,” you try to reassure the man in front of you, but as you rise and place a hand on his shoulder Hawks shakes you off. “Don’t,” he bites out before storming back into your apartment. The sound of the door slamming shut behind him feels like a gun shot in the quiet of the night.

Author’s Note: Idk if people noticed this but I’m very intentional with when I refer to our bird boy as Hawks vs when I refer to him as Keigo. Or at least I try to be. It was a bit of a last minute decision to have (y/n) reveal Endeavor as human garbage to Keigo in this chapter but I’ve been thinking about how he’d react to finding out his childhood hero is an abuser and this came out as a result.

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#hopelessoa #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks smau

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