#just kidding! i'm unpublishable because there's something wrong with me

[sukimas]

if this is the quality of what passes for fanfiction nowadays perhaps i should have a go at getting published

#just kidding! i'm unpublishable because there's something wrong with me #but my prose quality is certainly at a publishable level

[kasienda]

@coffeebanana challenged me to find three words in my unpublished writing! I was not successful! Haha! I found softly instead of soft, but I'm counting it. And I found crack in an outline and in published chapters, but nothing unpublished, so... And I couldn't find shiver at all. Haha! Which is such a good word! So now, it's a mission to use shiver over the next week or so! But in the meantime, here's some snippets using the reserve words!

Softly from a future chapter of Aftermath.

Her hands covered her mouth. “You’re Chat Noir.” “Yeah, I believe we covered that.”  “But… you helped Ladybug put away your own father. You fought him. I’m so sorry! I never meant to make you choose between your family and the miraculous.” “He was wrong. And he was trying to kill you.”  “That early time was so much deeper than I thought, we all thought you were mourning your father, but it was more complicated. You felt guilty.”  “We all thought you were mourning losing the use of your hand,” he spoke softly, caressing her hand. “Apparently it was much deeper than that.”  “Did you ever tell anyone?” He shook his head. “I thought about telling you.”

Hand - this is probably more than a snippet, but... I don't know if this WIP is ever going to see the light of day so I wanted to include the whole scene. This is from a S4 canon divergent core four OT4 story where Alya's job is to know everyone's identity, but to prevent them from figuring each other out. It's called, Rena Rouge: Secret Keeper.

“You’re dating Chat Noir?!” Marinette asked. “Marinette, calm down,” Alya   “But he’s… supposed to be in love with me!”  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Alya is actually pissed.  Marinette is taken aback.  “Okay, so first of all, you have made it clear on more than one occasion that you were not interested in Chat Noir.” “Yes, but you could have told me!”  “Second, you didn’t see him. He was caving in on himself, he truly believed no one would ever love him! He needed to see so badly that someone did love him. And not just one person.”  “I… I don’t understand. How could you do that to Nino?”  “Nino was on board! I had had feelings for him for awhile, and I happened to know that Nino did, too. We agreed a long time ago that we were allowed to have a relationship with Chat Noir if the opportunity ever presented itself.”  “Why did you never tell me?” “Because it’s fragile, and Chat Noir was uncomfortable with you specifically knowing. We respect his boundaries and his secrets, just as we respect yours.”  Marinette felt her anger deflate. “He loves you, you know. If you asked him to, he would choose you over us. All three of us know that. And we would never want to hold him back from his happiness with you if that was something you decided you wanted.”  “That seems unfair, too.”  “Well, this might seem self serving a bit, but for the record mine and Nino’s agreement didn’t just include Chat Noir.”  “It didn’t?”  Alya shook her head. “It also included Ladybug.” Marinette’s eyes went wide. “What?! You… what?!”  Alya took Marinette’s hand. “I don’t seem to be made for loving just one person. I fall in love at the drop of a hat. And well, I loved you first. Before Nino. Before Chat Noir. I would do anything for you, Marinette. I risk my life, I keep your secrets, I lie to the most important people in my life. It’s because I love you.”

Thread - from the next chapter of Right Behind You. Just wrote some of this today!

“I think this one is helpful,” Tikki called, flying to him with Marinette’s diary open to a date just a few weeks after she took over the Guardianship.  Auras are so pretty. Like I saw Nino’s today! His isn’t as bright as most people’s, but I can still see it! And it’s not just the colors and patterns. His whole aura wraps everyone he encounters in a hug. And it makes me feel warm just looking at it.  Nino read the description twice, smiling. “I’m allowed to read about my own aura?” he asked.  Tikki shrugged. “She really wasn’t specific enough there to cause any issues. Keep going!”   I’m super bummed that I can’t see the ones of the people that I’m closest to. Not Alya or Adrien, or even my parents! I really wish I could see them. At least I can hang out with my friends without getting blinded all the time.  “It’s love, right?” Nino asked out loud, voicing what he had been thinking when he couldn’t see his brother’s aura either.  “No,” Sass said.  “What do you mean, no?” Nino echoed. It felt like the most obvious explanation and the only common thread.  “You need to keep reading,” Tikki says.  “You can see everyone’s aura except your own,” Sass insisted. That’s what Wayzz had said as well.  “That’s obviously not true.”  “Except that it is.”  “Sass! I can’t see Adrien’s aura. Or Noel’s. Marientte couldn’t see Adrien’s or her parents.”  “That makes sense,” Sass said, sounding entirely too superior to Nino’s ears. “How does that make any sense?!” Nino demanded.  Wayzz darted into the living room from the other room holding out Nino’s phone. “Monsieur Cartier is threatening to fire you if you don’t take his call.”

No pressure tags to @jennagrinsoverml, @thelibraryloser, and @blur0se if you want!! Words: sob, warm, kiss Reserve: scream, knives, and smile

#my own content #tumblr games #too many wips #aftermath #rena rouge secret keeper #right behind you

[clunelover]

There's this middle aged guy on my team who is nice enough but often rubs me the wrong way. He has a couple jokes I have heard him say a jillion times (the main one is - "when your kids move out, don't forget to change the locks" 😒 He will say that to anyone whose kids are off to college.)

He has also offered to read my writing, which is so weird to me - like, if someone says they write as a hobby, why would you volunteer to read their unpublished work?? I'm actually a decent writer (although, I mean, of course I would think that), but most people you encounter who say they write? Are NOT good (I know because I have been in classes with a lot of them). So that struck me as an odd offer (but also, nice! It's complicated)

Anyway, he is pestering me about something that I need an engineer's help to fix. I told him it might be a little while cause that engineer is two hours behind us, so it was (at the time of our conversation) 6:43 am where the engineer lives.

Coworker says, "he needs a rooster! We have them here in the country and they're a P.I.T.A." ...this has made me SO UNREASONABLY ANNOYED! He's just goofing, but I'm sorry, is the implication that someone should actually get to work before 7, to fix your stupid problem? If someone isn't on the clock before 7, it's not because they need help waking up!! Nobody who works here should be at work that early! Unless they want to, in exchange for also leaving super early. I am annoyed because I am taking it too literally but also shut up!!

[asirensrage]

6, 8, 13, 14, 21 and 27 for the writing wrapped!

Sure! Thanks for asking!

6. Favourite line of dialogue this year?

hmmm... I really love this line from The Sacrifice (my unpublished Demon Slayer fic).

“Are you kidding? Look at yourself. You’ve been asleep for weeks! You lost an eye! You got lucky that I showed up and got involved! If I hadn’t caused enough of a distraction, you would have died!”  "Then I should have died! As I was meant to!"  The sound she lets out is somewhere between a scoff and a huff of laughter. "Wow. You have no idea, do you? Do you know how many people have thanked me for being there, for helping, all because it ensured that you lived? People I've never met before have thanked me. Your brother begged me to watch over you as you recover and you think you should have died? Out of everything I've heard about you, Rengoku-san, no one has said that you're selfish. I guess they are wrong.”

8. Did you find yourself repeating a word or phrase in your writing this year? If so, what was it?

I repeat myself a lot, to be honest. @vixenofcourse could probably tell you better because I don't remember.

13. Who was your favourite character to write for?

ALL OF THEM! I can't pick just one.

14. Did you have a song on repeat while writing this year?

I have playlists for all my fics that I usually listen to on repeat when I'm writing that fic. Otherwise, sometimes it's specific songs. It all depends on what I'm writing and the mood, so it's nothing on repeat all year.

21. Were there any ideas you wanted to work on this year but you didn’t?

No, because I don’t limit myself and my muse wanders off regularly, (as we all know). If I want to write something, I just write it. I will leave it and come back to it later, which is why I have so many WIPs.

27. What was your favourite fic to read this year?

Hmm... I have so many. Here are some that I've reread multiple times this year.

no one is what they were before by ohmytheon The world broke when Gojo Satoru turned on jujutsu society. It's not the hopeful place it was before, but Utahime has never been one to give up. Until she's placed in a dangerous position directly in his path, and she finds herself trapped in a web that doesn't seem intent on ever letting her go.

Echoes by YanderexBabydoll There’s a sadness that hangs thick and heavy in the air around you. Grief and pain etched into the very foundations of this house. But you’re broken, too – hollowed out with emotions still too raw to touch. Maybe that's why you were drawn to it.

(Tokyo Revengers. Sano Siblings x Reader. involves ghosts)

surrender (whenever you're ready) by OfMermaids (@ofmermaidstories) You first meet Ground Zero when he’s thrown, unceremoniously, through the glass window of your florist shop. (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader, Pro-Hero AU; in which Bakugou cannot stand flowers but finds himself coming back, anyway)

Plunders of war by MaryaMorevna "You for Shouto's life." Ivory-haired villain continued, his tone saturated with wicked delight. "I'll let him live, promise-" he made the obscene gesture of crossing his heart and laughed again. "What do you mean me?" my voice was barely above a whisper, afraid of its own sound. "You..." he stood up straight, as tall as Shouto. "Willing," -first step, "Pliant," -another step, "Wanton-" Dabi closed the distance, his rough hand lifting my chin up. "-In my bed." ... Villains win the war AU. Very dark so be warned.

The Pack Survives by ihopethelightwillshineupon When a simple C-rank mission turns into a straight-up nightmare, the members of Team Seven narrowly escape with their lives. They end up stuck in the middle of nowhere, each of them injured and forced to rely on one another for help. They’ve only been a team for a couple of weeks, still distant from one another, still trying hard to prove themselves. But when they’re all hurt and struggling desperately to survive, they have no choice but to lower their walls. Stranded far away from the village, Team Seven fights to get back home safely – but with help impossibly far away, with their food supplies shrinking and with their injuries slowing them down, their journey becomes more difficult with every step. In the wake of their struggle, though, their bonds grow steadily stronger.

fingerprints by andypantsx3 (@andypantsx3) When you’re outed as pro hero Shouto’s soulmate on national television, there are really only two sensible things for you to do: blame someone else and run. (Deceiving the Duke and in cinders by andypantsx3 are also on the list of ones I've reread. They're so much fun, omg. But I'm trying not to expand this list too much lol) you can tell where my mind has been this year...

and, of course, any fics that are tagged under my "fic recs" tag.

Thanks again!

FANFIC WRITER WRAPPED 2023

#fanfic writer 2023 wrapped #fanfic writer wrapped #fanfic writer asks #fic recs #asks #mariedemedicis

[emmaswanned]

another tag game from @dead-ghost-walking! thank you!!

How many works do you have on AO3? not very many - just five, which honestly always surprises me when i look because i feel like i write a lot more than that - it's just that i write a lot that doesn't end up published, either because it's just for me or because it's not finished. (so many WIPs..)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 21,437

What fandoms do you write for? nothing consistently - i have two Horizon Zero Dawn fics on AO3 which makes it my most-written-for fandom for sure, and i do have other HZD ideas i'd like to get out there, so i suppose that's my biggest fandom!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? since i only have 5 works on AO3 i'm only going to name my top fic by kudos, and that is Between Armor and Skin, which is. aloy/nil smut is what it is.

Do you respond to comments? I don't get a lot but i try!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i have not published anything with a particularly angsty ending. i actually really like writing angsty endings, though. my angstiest fic is an unpublished HZD WIP that i was hoping to finish eventually but unfortunately my computer crashed earlier this year and i lost a lot of files, including that one, so if i were to finish it I'd have to start from scratch. it's about the death of a major character, from his POV. i actually enjoy writing that kind of thing a lot, though again, i've never published anything like it on AO3. i might have in my Livejournal days that i'm forgetting about....

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? all i've ever known is how to hold my own is cutie, if you ask me. it's aloy/erend fluff and THAT'S IT.

Do you get hate on fics? i never have, but again, i don't post much!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i have and i will again (current wip perhaps 👀) but it makes me very self-conscious to write and even more self-conscious to post and i often get stuck on smut scenes in WIPs and never finish them. but this will NOT HAPPEN THIS TIME....

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? x-files/his dark materials au lives in my brain

Have you ever had a fic stolen? i don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated? No

Have you ever co-written a fic before? x-files/his dark materials au is kind of a collaboration with @swiftzeldas in that it was my idea but she is also writing in the world and helping flesh it out!

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? a long time ago i started a law & order svu benson/barba AU in which benson and barba met circa-season 3 and it was going to be like a whole case fic type of deal and i was going to play with what the relationship between barba and stabler would be like, but that's another WIP i lost in my computer crash and anyway stabler and barba have met now on the show (i think? haven't watched in a couple years tbh) so the story feels a little redundant now

What are your writing strengths? honestly, nothing about writing comes easily to me. maybe dialogue. i do like capturing character voice.

What are your writing weaknesses? everything is a struggle for me, but in the interest of specificity, one thing i really need to work on is i'll get an idea for, like, a oneshot, and then suddenly i'll get delusions of grandeur and want to turn it into a multi-chapter THING. this is the point where i lose steam on most of my WIPs and they don't get finished.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i never have, but i would if the situation called for it. i suppose i'd be hesitant about it for fear of doing something wrong, but if i was writing a bilingual character and it made sense for them to speak a few lines in something other than english i would!

First fandom you wrote for? i remember writing jurassic park fanfic in my diary as a little kid, hahaha. but as far as stuff i posted online, like, it was probably warrior cats??

Favorite fic you’ve written? i really don't like rereading my own work, but the aforementioned Between Armor and Skin is actually pretty good and readable! which is a triumph to me because of my previously mentioned self-consciousness about writing smut :D

thanks again for the tag james!! i will tag @incomprehensiblelentils and @amidalleia!

#text post #tagged in meme

[tb5-hellbound]

talented amateurs - deleted scene (Scott and Jane)

the interlude to close out all that emotionally charged and highly dramatic Island Nonsense was originally going to be a monster of a chapter, a six way rotation through the POVs all of the significant other characters (plus a couple new voices) who we haven’t heard much from. this proved to be FAR too monumental a task and while I’m happier with the simplicity chapter I wound up with, there are still a few thousand words worth of written but unpublished extra content that add context and depth (as well as a bunch of important points I didn’t get to address on account of opting out of The Monster Chapter, fml), so here’s one of them.

There's a certain kind of long distance intimacy to the fact that they always know where to find one another. It's the first thing she does when she lands anywhere new---tells him where she is and how long she'll be there, just on the off chance that it's somewhere he's got the time to be. He responds in kind, and especially makes a point to let her know when he'll be free for more than one or two days at a stretch, and when possible, they'll both make a point to get together.

Jane's job takes her to almost as many corners of the world as his does, and currently she finds herself in a hotel room near the airport in Singapore, getting the requisite amount of sleep before her next cargo flight, a contracted sequence that takes her all over the South Pacific.

But she isn't sleeping. She'd already called Scott earlier in the evening to let him know she was going to be in the neighbourhood, relatively speaking, and he'd promised to get back to her as soon as possible. Now she's in her pajamas, curled up beneath the blankets in her hotel room bed. Instead of sleeping, she lies awake beneath beneath the bedsheets, frowning at the messages that glow from the screen of her comm.

S: I need to see you.

J: ooh I kinda hoped you might <3

J: Room 301 @ Aerotel Singapore ;)

J: bring me a bottle of whiskey or I'm not letting you in

S: Not like that.

J: oh.

J: Is everything okay?

S: Can't talk about it. Unsecured comm. I'll be there in an hour. Talk then.

And then nothing else. There's not much to go on, and she knows better by now than to try and press Scott for information when there's something bothering him, and she knows something's bothering him by the way he's terse and sharp and short. Whatever it is, it must be serious enough to warrant such strict privacy.

An hour is a long time to lie alone in the dark wondering what exactly her boyfriend's problem is. Initially she scours the news for any mention of any sort of disaster requiring the involvement of International Rescue and Thunderbird 1 by extension---but there's nothing. Nothing that's been publicly reported, at least. It's not in Jane's nature to worry about things she can't change, and so she puts it resolutely out of her mind. She passes the time reading recipes that she never intends to make, and browsing idly through the latest offerings from the tabloid press, though the "news" is all fairly stale and none of it sparks her interest.

She's dozing a little bit by the time there's a knock on her door, hard and loud enough that she starts awake, briefly bewildered before she remembers she's expecting company. There's an insistence to the second knock on the door that makes it more of a pounding, and she mutters uncharitably under her breath as she climbs out of bed.

The hotel room is cool, and it's late enough that it's starting to be early. Outside, the first suggestion of dawn creeps into the sky, a reminder that she really does need to be fresh and well-rested for her next flight, and whatever's brought Scott to her doorway right now had better be urgent.

Even though she's expecting him, natural caution has her stop and tap a fingertip against a touchscreen embedded at eye-level in the door. Just to be safe. This activates a camera to reveal a view of the hallway, and grants her a glimpse of Scott in an unguarded moment. The weariness and the worry in his bearing stifle any inclination she might have to tell him off for pounding on her door. He's rested one of his forearms against the doorjamb, and leans against it, looking worn out in a way he usually doesn't. He's also in full uniform, which isn't exactly uncommon, considering the usual manner of their meetings. Every now and again their schedules will overlap in such a way that she can join him somewhere where they can both be in their civvies---but tonight her uniform hangs pressed and ready in the closet by the door, and he's still in brilliant IR blue when Jane opens the door.

She only just catches him straightening up and pushing a hand through his hair, and if he doesn't quite smile when he sees her, some of the tension around his eyes seems to soften slightly.

"Hey," she says, and offers a smile that's gentle where it might otherwise be wicked, if this were their usual flavour of rendezvous. "C'mon in."

"Hi," he answers, but something about the way he says it seems almost absent, perfunctory. He's visibly distracted as he steps into her hotel room, moves swiftly past her as she closes the door behind him, and when she turns, he's made a beeline straight for the minibar in the corner of the room. A glass hits the countertop, and there's a melodic chime as the mini fridge swings open, and then three tiny bottles of liquor cluster around his chosen glass.

"I was kidding about the bottle of whiskey," Jane volunteers, watching as Scott deftly twists a tiny lid off a tiny bottle, and pours himself a shot of straight tequila. For Jane's part, her current employer maintains a strict zero-tolerance policy for drugs and alcohol, and there's a twelve hour delay required betwixt bottle and throttle. "I'm due back in the air in nine hours, I won't be joining you."

"Wasn't planning to share." Shots of rum and vodka join the tequila, tinting the concoction into a light amber colour. Scott reopens the mini fridge, frowns into it briefly, before closing it again. Before Jane can comment any further, he's picked up his drink and thrown it back, in the manner of somebody who'd better not intend to fly anywhere in the next twelve hours. This accomplished, he abandons his empty glass on the countertop, and turns away from the bar to drop bodily onto the waiting couch at the far end of her suite, tipping his head back and closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.

Jane, having watched this dramatic little one-man tableau from the doorway, takes her cue to pad across the room in her bare feet, and seats herself gingerly on the sleek coffee table in front of him. She doesn't say anything, quietly expectant, and waits patiently for Scott to set the tone with whatever he decides to say first.

To his credit, he doesn't make her wait long. "...Sorry." He lifts a still gloved (gauntleted, really) hand to rub his fingertips against closed eyes, and then drags his palm down his face.

"Hit the bottle kinda hard there, champ," Jane observes, keeping her tone carefully light and non-judgmental, at least until she has a better explanation of what's going on. "You're lucky the room gets charged to my company card."

Scott chuckles but doesn't look at her, darkly sardonic in a way that he just isn't, usually. "Just following orders."

That's uncharacteristically cryptic, and something about the way he's said it makes her skin crawl slightly, hinting at something she's starting to suspect, but doesn't want to believe. Three little bottles still sit empty atop the minibar, winking in the low lights of the hotel room and persistent at the edge of her awareness. She'd been joking about the bottle of whiskey, but it's true that some of the best times they've had together have been over beers at a ballgame, or sipping Scotch at some nameless hotel bar. But this is clearly different. And not just because he's on his way to getting very drunk, while she remains resolutely sober. Something's wrong; this isn't like him. Something brought this about.

Jane reaches out to put a hand on Scott's knee, and her voice is gentle and sincere as she asks, "Are you okay? What happened?"

Scott takes a deep breath, and his gaze falls to her hand upon his knee, as though he can't bring himself to look at her when he answers, "...I fucked up." His fingers close over hers with a kind of desperate urgency, like her touch is a lifeline he can't lose hold of. "I mean I really fucked up, Jane, and I came here because I need to talk to somebody, but I don't know if I can even tell you. It's some shit about me and some shit about my family, and it's big and ugly and complicated and none of it's good and I just---I don't know what you'll think."

He falls silent, and Jane isn't sure what to say. Even after two years, vulnerability is rare in the man who saved her life, and truth be told, Jane likes it that way. Not that she'd fault him for it, just that she wouldn't entirely know how to respond. She knows, though they never really talk about it, that Scott's seen some shit. Jane doesn't know how to talk about that kind of thing, because that kind of thing is the kind of thing she renders in terms like "seen some shit". Sensitivity isn't her strong suit. Softer emotions don't come naturally to her.

But then, Scott knows that. They have it in common.

It's some instinct, then, that has her take his hand in both of hers. Idly, absently, she starts to undo the assorted straps and buckles that fasten his gloves. It's easier to talk if she pretends that this task is meticulous and demands more attention than it really does. All she really wants is to get down to bare skin, the intimacy of real contact, and hope it'll help make her point clear.

"I remember when I told you about my dad," she says, not looking up and unbuckling a clasp and loosening a strap, and starting to work the fingers of the gloves loose. This gets a little tricky as Scott's fingers twitch, reflexively trying to clench into a fist at the mere mention of her father. She squeezes his wrist gently and his hand relaxes, so she goes on, "Speaking of 'big' and 'ugly' and 'complicated'. I didn't know what you were going to think, either."

She tugs the glove free, tosses it onto the couch beside him, as he protests, "This is different."

Now her hand clasps his for a moment, before she gets up from the coffee table, and sits right back down, beside him this time. Insistent, she curls herself up on the couch, leans against his chest, tilts her head against his shoulder. "Maybe. But you let me tell you, and you listened, and it helped to get it out, and now you know something about me that almost no one else does. If it would help to get it out, Scott, just talk. Or do you need me to get you another drink?"

"I need you to stay just exactly where you are." His right hand is bare now, and much more deftly than she had, he pulls his other glove off. Reflexively, maybe, his arm wraps around her shoulder, and though she'd nestled close, he pulls her closer still. The bare skin of his palm is warm against her arm, and she can smell the alcohol on his breath when he rests his cheek against the crown of her head and sighs.

Jane tilts her face up and kisses his cheek. For being as brave and intrepid and daring as he is, it can sometimes be hard to get the ball rolling with Scott. More often than not, Jane finds herself initiating things between them. She gives him another little nudge, literally and metaphorically. "Look---I recognize the irony of telling you this while we're in another damn hotel room, but babe, when we decided that this whole thing was going to be more than just hook-ups in hotel rooms, part of that was an agreement to talk to each other about our lives, once in a while."

He shifts beside her, but she refuses to do anything but cuddle stubbornly closer, even if she can hear the discomfort in his tone when he protests, "It's my brothers, though."

She can't help a snort of laughter at this. "You tell me everything about your brothers. The number of times you've come bitching to me at the end of a long day about Alan's whining or John's micromanaging---some days I think I know your brothers better than you do."

The statement is carefully crafted, deliberately phrased so as to needle at Scott's not-so-subtle competitive edge, his perpetual need to prove himself. Still, even thus prompted, it takes him a few long moments to volley back, and there's genuine anguish in his voice when he asks---

"Do you know what to do when one of them gets his girlfriend pregnant?"

#TA meta #here's some Scott #and some Jane