#keep seeing people say 'I won't respect you as a trans person until you look cis' n shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gabessquishytum · 9 months

Note

I know literally nobody will relate because I've never met anyone who did but... (Trans) Hob who hates receiving oral sex. He just hates it. It's awkward, somehow doesn't feel good no matter how skilled his partner is, the only saving grace is when the person finally adds fingers to the mix. He loves giving oral, so it's not about "I don't want you to do this to me so I don't have to do it to you". He just doesn't want any tongue down there.

When he and Dream finally start sleeping together, he becomes the master of distraction. If it's looking like Dream might go down on him, he quickly finds a way to distract him away from that. But one day, Dream plans to only eat Hob out until he cums multiple times. You know, since Hob had blown him amazingly so many times and he has yet to repay the favour and show off his mind-blowing skills.

Hob has two options. Either he fakes it, or they talk like two adults and he says that he doesn't like it. But these two, talking? Yeah, right. Because Dream obviously must really want this and he'd be disappointed if Hob said no, so Hob will simply grit his teeth and try to enjoy it. Meanwhile, Dream absolutely notices how nervous Hob is. He assumes Hob is self-conscious about something small like his natural scent or how wet he gets. But when Dream finally gets his mouth down there, Hob makes the fakest porn moan and Dream is like o.O da fuq?

Now, we can add even more stupid into the mix and Dream thinks Hob is faking because he doesn't believe that Dream knows how to make him feel good. But I think there has been enough stupid and the two should just talk, and Hob finally tells Dream that he doesn't enjoy this particular activity and maybe Dream could suck his tits and finger him instead?

Anon, thank you so much for sharing this!! I'm quite sure that you're not the only one who experiences this. Preferences during sex are a deeply personal thing and you should never feel weird about what you like or don't like.

Hob really really likes giving oral sex, whatever the gender of his partner. Its something he's good at, that gives him pleasure, and it's something that he's been able to rely on when he's needed to disguise his transness. No need to get undressed if he's going down on someone!

So he feels guilty! Because what if Dream really enjoys giving oral? What if Hob is holding him back from taking his pleasure? He couldn't bear to do that, surely it would be better to... suffer through it, or whatever? To make Dream happy?

These kind of fucked up thoughts obviously show on his face and Dream knows that something is up. He can see Hob overthinking and spiralling. He at least has enough maturity to call time out on the sex - he would rather die than do something to Hob while he's obviously not enjoying himself, Dream is nothing if not a respectful partner. He just wishes that Hob would communicate with him (yes, he's aware of the irony) instead of saying "I'm fine!" And suggesting that they continue.

Dream really has to dig deep, to get the truth out of his lover. Hob doesn't want to admit this weakness, this boundary. He doesn't want to have boundaries with Dream! He wants to give every part of himself...... (when he's says this, Dream points out that Hob isn't being very giving now, is he? Checkmate).

Once he has the truth, Dream is somewhat relieved but mostly he just wants to convey that he doesn't want to do things that Hob won't like! That's literally a turn off for him! He will keep saying it until Hob understands!!!

And then they cuddle a lot and have tea and Hob’s battered, people-pleasing heart gets a little bit healed.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

55 notes · View notes

trans-advice · 1 year

Note

hi,im a trans boy whos been very dysphoric lately. many people around me are transphobic and i dont think any adult around me would be safe to come out to. my mom is very misinformed. i dont own any binders and the ones produced in my country are very low quality. my country is also very anti-lgbt. my experiences are always dismissed bc im 13. any sort of help would be greatly appreciated!

sorry this took so long to answer, but the research was tricky & i decided to say what you need to research instead of being specific.

my experiences are always dismissed bc im 13

there is no magic age where transphobes will respect trans people. a thing conservatives love to do is say they do not understand what we say not out of ignorance but as an expression of basically saying they out rank us. we see this not only in internet arguments, but we also see it institutional pushout. generally, pointing out that abusers break rules won't necessarily help you.

this might be a bit USA-centric, but i'm assuming this is a frequent dynamic outside of USA too. powerful abusers such as bosses will focuses on their own intent instead of their impact because justice systems tend to base lying on intention to deceive instead of the injury of "mistakenly" spreading misinformation. they'll plead ignorance even when they're supposed to know better & they'll design their institutions to where there a failure to communicate can be excused at most a structure error but better for them would be to get the legal system to think it was a different employee's fault instead of the position was designed so that when they go through recruitment again, then they'll still have a fall guy. This is because even though the powerful abusers want to be actively ignorant, the law (which under in most parts of the world is a racial capitalist patriarchy where the legal system is made by & to the benefit of the people at the top of that heirarchy) rewards ignorance as if malice wasn't malicious. this is why people talk about having allies & accomplices, because you need to organize with other people in your institution.

when pro-lgbt people talk about surviving to a certain age, it's on the basis of having some power to leave anti-lgbt homes (& not be forced back into them), have increased control our bodies & safety, ability to travel etc. i don't know what the anti-lgbt norms say about rites of passage into adulthood in your jurisdiction, and I don't know what rights adulthood will get you. what i'm trying to say is, prioritize your survival because at least you to some degree can then affirm yourself. some of the advice i give therefore won't work until maybe your older.

one of the survival strategies i had, is to leave the house as much as possible during the day & get to places that are okay to hang out for free at in public. this might mean walking, being in libraries, being at restaurants, etc. it can kind of be like being transient, except you go back home where the hostile people around you at night time in order to sleep or whatever. if this requires being around different people who are hostile, then seek to always have an escape plan. the more people there are around you then the better this works. if you're in an area with a lot of traffic then that might work better because there's less of a problem with alienating others. basically a small town or a small school cohort sucks for these sorts of reasons.

also you need to learn about internet security. good news is you used anonymous mode on tumblr, but still. like look into VPN's that don't snitch on/out LGBT+ people. do not use technology to look up lgbt things

many people around me are transphobic and i dont think any adult around me would be safe to come out to. my mom is very misinformed. ... my country is also very anti-lgbt.

yeah i think your intuition is correct with that. personally growing up i basically refused to date people & i would seek to make myself unattractive & keep people at a distance. i do not know what methods of resistance you have, but your goal is to basically either get to a safe space/place for lgbt people (whether that's within your country or if it's out of it. perhaps figuring out how to get a job that you can use to get to a pro-lgbt place?) & or keep connection with lgbt resources online. marriage is not a good strategy for developing a safe space because that tends to lead to relationships where you're severely depending on your partner, which can get abusive regardless of whether it's you or them.

as for chest binding, there are chest binding methods that use sweaters & sports bras instead of actual chest binders. be very careful though. these were considered dangerous before good binders became more widely available.

in general never use tape for binding. there are some tapes that have been developed as specialties but even then the feedback is mixed.

also consider looking into body slimmers. they're kind of like binders except they focus more on the belly. maybe you can get some use from those depending on what you get & how your body is.

if possible, then seek to get a job. if possible get a bank account in your own name. if possible, then keep some of your necessities safe in places outside your home. if possible, start figuring out various discrimination laws & recognize while your doing that that the law doesn't get rid of the discrimination, it just makes it more expensive to discriminate or else criminalize it (depends on your jurisdiction). in general, human resources is a type of cop, they're not a therapist. their job is not to get justice, is to minimize disruptions to the making of profit. a job interview is an interrogation/screening. look into how human resources works in your country with regards to when they'll fire people.

if you were in usa, then i'd recommend looking into the various prison pipelines, such as the school to prison pipeline, or the abuse to prison pipeline, etc. i know other countries have these pipelines too, but i'm not articulated enough to elaborate. either way, learn history about your local area & keep in mind that all information is biased, it's just a matter of which biases.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

1 note · View note

epicene-humanoid · 3 years

Note

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times.

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through).

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode.

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that.

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous.

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

#community #jeff winger #trans jeff winger #GOD i'm gonna make a video essay about it if nobody stops me #yall know that youtube channel AreTheyGay? i want to be that but AreTheyTrans #the videos would just b like... jeff community. neo the matrix. bill and ted bill and ted. audrey little shop of horrors. jo little women.#maybe i should start that youtube channel sjdfklsj #thank you for prompting me to talk about this because i think about it twice a day #i might end up reblogging this and just adding different responses jeff has had to casually homophobic/transphobic things that happen #in the show #like the episode that last photo is from when the dean is like #'spring transfer student dance isn't rolling off the tongue so we're calling it The Tr@nny Dance!' 'much more greendale.'#OH AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PIERCE'S DAD!!! HOW DID I NOT MENTION THAT EARLIER SJFKLSJ #'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!'#alright i need to do my homework now ajfklsdjfl

402 notes · View notes