#like I get she’s got emetophobia but turning the conversation into a fifteen-minute-long rant about if I vomited to please not do it

[tragedykery]

I hate. complicated friendships

#I love her but also. #I feel like such a bad friend for complaining about her but she’s just so. incredibly inconsiderate #like we planned to hang out ish at 1 pm today. suddenly she texts me like ‘hey I’m coming around 14:30 instead’ #she knows I’m autistic too she knows how important having a schedule is for me and she pulls sth like that?? #maybe it’s the fact that she’s an only child but ​she just expects the world and everyone else to accommodate for her #one time we were on a school trip and I was nauseous and I mentioned that to her and she just. made it all about herself??? #like I get she’s got emetophobia but turning the conversation into a fifteen-minute-long rant about if I vomited to please not do it #anywhere she could see bc if I did she would cry and feel absolutely terrible for the rest of the day and etc etc etc #like bestie IM the one who’s sick here??? #and like 50% of our conversations are just her venting at me (even more if you count the ones over text) and it’s. I don’t mind it when it’s #a normal amoun but she just treats me like an object for her to vent at and I Understand there’s stuff she can’t tell her therapist/coach bc #he knows her parents and she’s afraid he’ll tell on her if she talks about gender stuff (she’s not out) and I’m the closest trans friend she #has so I’m the person who understands it the best but it’s just. SO much #(but the moment I vent for once I just feel like she. doesn’t listen and that she thinks I’m just being too sensitive) #and that’s definitely my fault too bc idk how to communicate when she makes me uncomfortable with stuff like that #and she’s autistic too and doesn’t understand hints at all so I’d need to just State it and that feels so incredibly mean but. #there’s more instances I’m not typing out but just. ugh. I love her I really do and I feel like such a child for complaining about her on #tumblr dot com and I know I’m at fault too for not communicating when she makes me uncomfortable I’m not pretending I’m not to blame at all #but she’s self-centred and inconsiderate and. ugh #vent #elli rambles