#like girl you're supposed to be writing a history book not fanfiction

[incorrect-koh-posts]

"Young Baldwin seems to have possessed a naturally strong constitution, and he was also gifted with undeniable qualities of character and a strong, lively intelligence. William of Tyre, who was his tutor, says that 'in his childhood he was very handsome, with a quick and open mind, and he rode very well, better than his forebears had done.' 'Never forgetting an injury, and still less a kindness,' he had 'a retentive memory, was well educated with an excellent memory for tales and a fondness for telling them.'

The child must have realized very early that his disease was incurable, and his reaction shows great strength of character. He wanted to forget and make everyone else forget, right up to the end, that he was sick. But by the time King Amalric died, young Baldwin's disease had made such progress that it was already beginning to show, and 'the people of the kingdom felt great grief when they looked at him.'

From 1175 onward, the regent and the barons of Jerusalem were able to count on an unexpected ally, and a more valuable one than might have at first been thought. At fourteen years the young King Baldwin emerged as an intrepid fighter, capable of leading his troops into battle and later on of commanding them personally in the field. He was seen at the side of the constable and the Count of Tripoli, riding at the head of his troops and taking part in raids and diversionary campaigns [...]. At the time the King was still too young to actually command his army, and his principal function was as a symbol and an inspiration for his men. They were all happier marching under command of their lawful King. Young though he was, he was like the flag, to be protected and followed through the thickest of the fight, and he was not afraid of personal danger. [...]

When he came to the throne, he had [...] been a leper for ten years, and although the disease did not begin to make rapid strides until puberty, it must, even in early adolescence, have weakened and exhausted him. It is unlikely that anyone would have dared to reproach him had he wished to consider himself an invalid, yet he behaved as though he were perfectly well.

He had been educated, as became a prince, by knights and masters of arms and also by churchmen [...], and these had not failed to teach him patience and prepare him for the harsh trial that was to be his life, and to arouse in him a sense of duty and pride in being, despite his infirmity, King of Jerusalem and Defender of the Holy Sepulcher. Whether as a result of education or temperament, Baldwin IV seems to have had little inclination to self-pity. The young King overcame his illness with all the determination of an adolescent who knows he is physically weak and is bent on proving to everyone, himself included, that he can equal and even surpass others. He may have been a king who had the misfortune to be a leper, but he was also a leper lucky enough to be a king.

He loved power because it was all life had to offer him, and he very early evinced a wish to govern by himself, and would not tolerate disobedience. A temperament of this kind can easily degenerate into tyranny and capriciousness in one so young, but Baldwin IV had a lively and precociously mature mind, and was sincerely concerned to do his best for the good of the kingdom; and this right up to the time when his sufferings began to drive him out of his mind. [...] Up to the last moment he wanted to be a king and a general, and he wanted to be obeyed. It was his way of clinging to life, and he was a terrible fighter."

- Zoé Oldenbourg, The Crusades (1966)

#i have been reading old books again and oldenbourg's unabashed baldwin fangirling is too delicious not to share #like girl you're supposed to be writing a history book not fanfiction #baldwin iv #historiography #kingdom of heaven 2005 #crusades #zoe oldenbourg

[hyperpsychomaniac]

Lost In the Wilderness - Chapter 1

Hilda Fanfiction

Summary: Hilda goes on a Sparrow Scout camping trip, only to find that Ahlberg, along with Captain Gerda Gustav, is also attending. Ahlberg has yet to speak with Hilda about the events of the night the Trolls attacked Trolberg. He’s had plenty of chances to thank her, he hasn’t, and Hilda has just about had enough of it. She thinks her camp can't get any worse. Until she and Ahlberg get lost in the Wilderness together and must find their way home.

Author's notes: So, I have already posted this up on A03. But since I do not know exactly how many people click on things, I decided I'd just post the chapters here as well like I normally do. I'll keep posting the A03 link as well. (Also, not going to lie: I know I'm writing a fic with the character that a lot of people hate. So, I'm going to try roping in as many of you as I can with my (hopefully good) writing skills. 😎)

***

"Goodbye, Hilda. Have a good time at camp."

Hilda waved goodbye to her mother and then walked towards the Sparrow Scout camping grounds with her two friends. "He just keeps appearing places," she said, continuing her earlier conversation with Frida, "and he does everything to avoid talking to me. I suppose seeing him at the car yard that day made sense. Mum needed a new car after hers got crushed."

"And Erik Ahlberg was your salesman," Frida filled in. She'd already heard this story many times.

"Yeah! It didn't even sound like he knew much about cars. So, I don't know why they employed him. But that didn't stop him from talking a lot. Only none of it was about me stopping him from destroying a city." Hilda scowled. "But the library was just weird. Ahlberg doesn't seem like he should like libraries. Or, you know, any place where he might run into facts or a book that might tell him he's wrong or something."

"He did take off rather quickly when Kaisa gave him that book," Frida mused. "Maybe that was all he wanted?"

"He took off to avoid talking to me!" said Hilda. "I seriously doubt he wanted to read 'An Alternative History of Edmund Ahlberg'.

Frida shrugged. "If Kaisa gave it to him, maybe it was exactly what he needed. But, hey, at least you know you're not going to run into him at a Sparrow Scout camp, right?"

Every few months, the Sparrow Scouts would hold an open day so that any children thinking of joining could get a taste of what they did and decide if they wanted to join. This time, Raven Leader had decided they would hold it as an overnight camp. The turnout wasn't always great. But, today, there was a crowd of children and a couple of adults who, judging by the accompanying camping gear, were planning on staying the night.

"Ah, think again, guys," said David and pointed over to the huddle of excited children.

Amongst the clamour basked Erik Ahlberg. As he no longer worked for Safety Patrol, he wasn't strutting around in uniform. But instead, he wore a leather jacket with a fleecy collar and a flat cap. Like he'd ever be caught without a hat. Chest thrust out, he grinned ear to ear as children threw questions at him. "No, I can't show you my medal. Why, it's safe at home, amongst all my other awards! Oh, of course." He took a notebook off a girl and signed it with a flourish. She ran back to her mother with a squeal that made Hilda cringe.

"What is he doing here? Sparrow Scouts is supposed to be for people who care about what's out in the Wilderness." All Ahlberg had cared about was how the Trolls who lived there could make him famous! At least Hilda had managed to snap him out of that, or rather, the strange vision Trundle's eyeball induced had. But it hadn't scared him enough to stop him from taking the medal the city had offered him. Hilda didn't care about that in and of itself. A medal was just a hunk of metal. She simply couldn't understand how he felt good about accepting all that praise when nearly destroying the city had been partly his fault.

"Well," said Frida with a shrug, "other volunteers are staying too. I guess Raven Leader needed the help with so many children. Look, even Captain Gustav is here." She waved at the new Captain of the Safety Patrol.

Captain Gustav didn't notice. Whilst she was getting far less attention than Ahlberg, several children were still hanging around her. Including one girl, so small she barely looked old enough to join Sparrow Scouts, who was nearly pink in the face as Captain Gustav knelt to speak with her.

Hilda held no grudge about the woman being here. Apart from her probably being the reason Ahlberg was here too. From what she'd seen that day they had taken her out on patrol, Gerda was competent enough, doing something about the Trolls that had attacked them instead of just riling them up, as Ahlberg had. And, she had believed Hilda when she told Ahlberg about the Trolls' mother, ready to rise beneath the city of Trolberg. She'd stood up to Ahlberg that night too, and whilst it hadn't stopped him, Hilda had appreciated that she had supported her.

"I'm pretty sure there are only so many kids here because of him." Hilda folded her arms with a huff. "Look, even Trevor showed up. There's no way he's interested in Sparrow Scouts."

The obnoxious boy clamoured around with the other children, even shoving a smaller one out of the way. "Mr Ahlberg! I love how you showed those Trolls who's boss. Why'd you quit Safety Patrol?"

"Er…" Erik's voice faltered.

"Go on," said Hilda, "tell them you nearly destroyed an entire city."

The Raven Leader saved him from Hilda's imaginary confession. "Now, kids! Mr Ahlberg will be staying with us overnight. Along with Captain Gustav and the rest of our volunteers and potential recruits. There will be plenty of time for questions. But now, you need to set up your tents. Otherwise, you'll have nowhere to sleep. Sparrow Scouts, I want you to show our guests how it's done!"

The children dispersed, along with a forlorn-looking Trevor, who clearly did not want to set up tents.

"How am I supposed to enjoy camp now?" Hilda said, but it was to no one in particular, as both David and Frida had left her. They'd walked over to Gerda to say hello, leaving Hilda alone with her foul mood. She glared at Erik Ahlberg, who was now no longer surrounded by adoring fans.

Erik visibly stiffened as he met her gaze. "Ah, Hilda. Fancy seeing you here."

"Well, I am a Sparrow Scout, you know."

"Ah, yes, well…"

"What are you doing here?"

"Why helping, of course!" said Erik. His energy returned, much to Hilda's annoyance. "Gerda told me she had been invited to a Sparrow Scout camp but that your Raven Leader was not sure of the turnout she'd get. So we figured it might help to have someone here who would draw a crowd. Everyone's still a little excited about me saving Trolberg, you know."

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing you didn't tell them the truth about how that went down. For Sparrow Scouts, I mean." He'd had an excuse the last few times she'd seen him. Working and helping her mother choose a car. At the library, he'd 'had someplace he needed to be'. But here, Hilda already knew he was staying, and for the moment, there was no one else he should be speaking to. If he was going to do the right thing, this was his chance, and it was the last one Hilda was willing to give him.

"I, yes, well…" Erik rubbed at the back of his neck. "There's no need to complicate things, is there? Sometimes a simpler story that captures the… um… essence of what happened is best. To set things straight properly would be… complicated. It's just a bit of showmanship. It doesn't hurt anyone, and as you said, it's helping out your scouts. I guess the point is… hey, we both saved the city, right? And helped the Trolls. Pretty good result if you ask me. So, you know, good job and all that…" He reached out to pat her shoulder.

Hilda stepped out of his reach. "You didn't want to help the Trolls! You were only thinking about yourself. And you can't even…"

"Hilda!" Raven Leader waved her over. "Stop harassing Mr Ahlberg. I said there'd be time for questions later. Come help Frida set up your tent."

Erik cleared his throat and turned to the Raven Leader. "Oh, let me help you lift those boxes, I insist..." And he walked off.

Hilda stomped over to Frida's tent, where Gerda was helping set up in her absence. "How did you work with him?!"

Gerda winced and, despite Hilda not defining 'him', immediately glanced in Erik's direction. She chewed her lip. "With… much patience." She handed Frida a tent rod, then took Hilda by the shoulder and steered her aside. "It does pay off, eventually. Though I understand your frustration."

"You were there," said Hilda, lowering her voice. "You know what he nearly let happen that night."

"But it didn't. You got through to him, and I'm still unsure exactly how. But that does mean something, and to him as well."

"Well, he certainly hasn't bothered to tell me that." Hilda fixed Erik's broad back with a glare. He was now insisting on lifting some boxes that the Raven Leader could easily carry herself and acting like he was such a gentleman.

"He is trying, in his own way. I know he has a… difficult personality. But, what he nearly let happen that night was a big shock to him, and he'll act like it's not, but he's still working through a lot of that. So, give him a chance, ja?"

Hilda scowled. He'd had plenty of chances. The closest he'd come to an apology was just now, but that had still been a total brush off. "Well, at least I scared him a bit. I bet he didn't expect to see me here."

"Oh, he knew you'd be here."

"Huh?"

Gerda just smiled at her. "Come on. You can't let Frida set up this tent all by herself."

***

After dinner, the campers and helpers staying the night gathered around the campfire. First up, the Raven Leader went through some information for the newcomers about joining Sparrow Scouts and some of the activities they did. Then, she made the mistake of introducing Erik Ahlberg. He'd been talking for the last twenty minutes and had somehow stumbled onto the topic of what Hilda presumed to be his second favourite person - beside himself, of course - Edmund Ahlberg.

"You see, it wasn't just Trolls Edmund had to fight off. Which, it turns out, perhaps he had misunderstood. But other creatures too, far more wild and dangerous!"

"Like what?" a child asked, prompting Hilda to roll her eyes.

"All manner of things. Forrest giants, for one." Erik stood up and thrust out his chest, evidentially thinking his tall frame was a good enough demonstration of the massive creatures.

"More moody than dangerous…" Hilda muttered.

"… devious wood folk…"

"At worst, they're just rude."

"And vicious gnomes. As tall as two men!"

"You… you just made that one up."

"Why, yes, my mother told me many stories of Edmond's feats and the creatures he had to fight."

"Had?" Hilda huffed.

"But, the one I remember most, for it was the most terrifying," said Erik, shifting forward so that the firelight threw shadows across his face, "was the attack of the Black Hound."

A Black Hound, like Jellybean, whom Hilda had found in the city and helped escape from Safety Patrol. Of course, Ahlberg would think them dangerous. She rolled her eyes. "Oh no, a giant puppy." Still, no one took her comments on. Ahlberg was far too loud, too good at keeping the campers' attention.

Frida raised a hand. "You mean a Barghest? Sometimes kept as a guard dog for Trolls?"

"Known by many names. Yes!" said Erik, not missing a beat. "I see you've read 'The Trollberg guide to Beasts and Spirits'.

"Of course!" said Frida, brightening a little.

"Excellent book and marvellous illustrations!"

That he listened to? Maybe she should have put her hand up, but Hilda wasn't sure it would've worked so well for her sarcastic comments. She was reasonably sure Frida's was supposed to be sarcastic too, at least initially. But her friend seemed pleased with Ahlberg's enthusiastic response.

Frida's faint smile faded as she caught Hilda's glare. "What? No one else knows what I'm talking about when I mention that book. I mean, it overstates the dangers, and some of the facts are wrong, but… it's still an informative book. He probably likes all the pictures," she added, making Hilda smirk.

"Well, Edmond found one of these fearsome creatures sniffing around his camp. And then, the beast attacked! It ate almost a half dozen of his…"

"What?" a young girl squeaked.

The Raven Leader loudly cleared her throat.

Erik winced. "Um… food supplies! Which are incredibly important for survival when you're establishing a settlement. So, Edmund hunted the Hound down, and…" His chest puffed out as he paused for dramatic effect.

Hilda could not let the chance pass. "He killed it?" she said, this time easily heard in the silence of collectively held breaths. "It sounds like he did that a lot."

Erik deflated, and the finger he'd raised to deliver his ending slowly drooped in defeat. "Yes, well…"

"Hilda!" scolded one of the other Sparrow Scouts. "You spoiled the ending. Just because you've heard this story before…"

"Alright, stories are for after we've got through our main content," said the Raven Leader, seizing the opportunity. "You can ask Mr Ahlberg anything you want about the types of creatures that might eat… food supplies… after that."

"What about the Barghest?"

"Trolberg has the Safety Patrol to protect us from those sorts of things," Raven Leader explained. "Besides, Captain Gustav is here, and she won't let anything happen to you. Which leads us to our topic for tonight. Now, for those visiting, we've been bringing in people to talk about their work to help our Sparrow Scouts decide what they want to be when they grow up…"

Hilda rolled her eyes. She found the majority of the Sparrow Scout activities fun. But of late, Raven Leader made them sit down and listen to these talks. And she hadn't even picked anyone with exciting jobs! Instead, they all seemed to include sitting at a desk and responsibility. Hilda had had just about enough of it.

"And this is why Captain Gustav is here. She's going to tell us all about Safety Patrol."

"Will you tell us how we can kill Black Hounds in Safety Patrol?" asked one of the children. "Captain!" he added as if he might get in trouble.

Gerda smiled. "Well, like the Trolls, I think we've learned that not everything in the Wilderness is out to kill us. We need to try to understand the creatures around us and document with the proper paperwork..."

This time, Hilda forced herself to suppress the eye-roll, mainly because it wasn't fair to Captain Gustav. Safety Patrol may not have been for her. Her trip in the dirigible had told her that much. Even though that had not been behind a desk, it had still been lots of running around with notepads, talking, and taking photographs that made it look like you were doing something when you were doing nothing useful at all. And deliberately aggravating Trolls. Although, that had all been Ahlberg.

With Captain Gustav in charge, Safety Patrol seemed like it had taken a turn for the better. Hopefully, one of the other kids would get something out of this particular talk. If she'd known there would be talk of paperwork, she would have invited Alfur.

"When I grow up!" interrupted the youngest little girl, who had been talking to Captain Gustav earlier, "I want to be the boss, just like Gerda!"

"Bethany, please sit down," said Raven Leader, calmly but firmly. "We'll have time for questions…"

"Sorry! Captain Gerda!"

Another child stood up. "I want to be a race car driver!"

"I want to be a Bag… Barg… a Black Hound!"

All the interrupters wore civilian clothes and evidently did not understand how this worked. Hilda grinned at their excitement, and some of her foul mood lifted. Gerda was smiling good-naturally, waiting for them to calm down, although the Raven Leader looked a little stressed.

But Ahlberg, who had shut up when Captain Gustav started speaking, had a deepening frown on his face, his eyes narrowing at the rising high-pitched voices, until he stood bolt upright, the motion startling the children who sat next to him. "Now see here!" he said loudly, breaking up the chorus of 'I want to be…' quite quickly, "Captain Gustav is talking. And if any of you want to have a hope of making it in Safety Patrol under her leadership, I suggest you be quiet and listen!"

The children were silent. Someone coughed. Another child harshly whispered they should shut up.

"Erik," said Gerda with a laugh, "Maybe you should have been my deputy."

The tension left Erik's shoulders, and he smiled faintly. "What utter nonsense. You know I would have completely messed up your paperwork."

"I don't want to hear about Safety Patrol!" Trevor stood up on his log, thrusting out his chest in a mirror of the pose Ahlberg had held a moment before. "I only came to this stinking camp to see Erik Ahlberg. I want to hear all about him and how he led Safety Patrol. Because you know what I want to be when I grow up?"

"Less of a pain, I hope," said Hilda.

Some of the other children giggled.

"No!" said Trevor, undeterred. "I want to be a Troll Slayer!"

"Heh," said Erik. "Well, I'm afraid you missed your chance. Or did you forget we have an alliance with the Trolls now?"

"That's not what you said before! You said Trolls were dangerous! You said you'd keep them out of our city!"

"Well, he was wrong," said Hilda. "You're being stupid, Trevor. If they were dangerous, letting them into the city would have been dangerous. But they did nothing. They just wanted to visit their mother. And then they left."

"Sure, that's what they told us. I assume. Because we can't understand all those growls and grunts at all! And…"

Hilda caught Ahlberg looking at her, almost gratefully. She was distracting Trevor and taking the heat off of him. And he just… he didn't deserve that. Her eyes narrowed. "Go on, Mr Ahlberg," she said, cutting harshly over Trevor's rant. "Explain to Trevor why you changed your mind."

Erik gulped and glanced side to side like a Deerfox caught in the headlights. "I… well… it was just that…"

Hilda folded her arms tight over her chest. She'd helped him! And he couldn't even admit it. Well, there wasn't a city at stake now. She'd love to keep arguing with Trevor. But this time, Erik Ahlberg could look out for himself.

Trevor groaned with frustration. "Just tell us what happened! I want to hear an interesting story. But you're not even a hero, are you? You just let the Trolls in, and then you took your medal and retired, and… and you let a girl take your job!"

"Trevor!" said the Raven Leader. "Captain, I'm sorry. Our actual Sparrow Scouts…"

Gerda held up a hand, cutting short the other woman's apology. "You know, a few Patrol officers had that attitude around when I started working. Now they staple my paperwork."

Trevor stomped his foot. "It's not fair! Mr Ahlberg got to kill a massive Troll. It attacked our home and knocked down our wall. The city should have given you a medal for that. Not letting them in. So, if I'm not going to get to do it anymore, you can at least tell us the story about how you killed that Troll!"

Erik's hands tensed at his sides. "That Troll…" he said, his voice strained. "Only wanted to see his mother." And he turned on his heel and stalked away from the fire.

"Erik…" Gerda sighed, then scrambled to her feet and followed him. "Wait."

Raven Leader raised a finger, and then her shoulders slumped. "Well. So much for that."

***

Chapter 2

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