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the100imagine · 5 years

Text

AU: The Merger. Apocalyptic.

Requested by Anon. Includes: Bellamy Blake x Reader. Request: * Okay so I know this is random but a while back you had done something like what it’s like to date bellamy blake in the apocalypse. I was wondering if you could do an imagine where you meet up with his group you the reader is like a complete badass but she’s kind at the same time? He just kinda slowly falls for her. I would just love to see this!

Note: it's an AU bc it's not in the normal The 100 universe and it's set in 2156 like season 5

The layout is a bit different bc I added subtitles to section it off instead of the usual '-' bc it turned out to be longer than I first thought it would be (probably bc I went off from the 'would include') so they are like chapters, rather than me making different parts to the imagine.

I hope that's okay bc I really wanted to add a lot more detail than my first crappy draft had had. It honestly had nothing (oh the joys of writing and scrapping hours of work). I also did it this way bc the second draft had like zero development, so I wanted to change that. Hence why it took so long to write (that and I had uni presentations and deadlines)

NOTE THAT THIS IS IN NO WAY HOW I WOULD ACTUALLY WRITE A LONGER CHAPTER FILLED STORY, I AM NOT THAT BAD AT WRITING

Note revised May 1st: I've been writing this for over a month now or maybe 2

Note revised May 28th: I'm still writing this?? Granted I forgot I was writing this, but seriously?? I don't even think the Take A Chance AU was this long(?)

Note revised September 16th: God I hate myself

Note revised October 5th: hello darkness my old friend

Note revised January 21st: I’m not sure how the layout will be changed when I upload this, so fingers crossed that it’s okay

Also, don't ask for a Part 2 bc I barely do Part 2's of things, so don't bother asking.

1. AGREEING TO STAY

DAY: FOURTEEN

The merger wasn't something you were one hundred per cent on board with. Sure, in the long run, it was probably a good idea, but right now? You absolutely hated it. The group that you were a part of, before the merger, mainly consisted of older people, no one younger than twenty, but also no one older than forty. You liked it that way because it meant that if your group was ever attacked by a horde of zombies—or 'Z's' as your group dubbed them—you would just get up and run, it wouldn't matter who you left behind to die. They all claimed to know a lot about the apocalypse and how to survive, so it would have been on them if they couldn't. That was your mentality. But, since joining Bellamy's group, that way of thinking had to change. He had children in his group, two or three of them couldn't have been older than eight or nine and most of them weren't older than twenty. It was a big change. Not only that, but his group didn't survive the same way yours did. While your group tried finding a way up north, to a colder climate, that the Z's moved away from, his group was just going anywhere that looked abandoned and 'safe'. It wasn't something you were planning on, but you had to stay, even for just a little while longer, just long enough to try and convince Bellamy to have an actual plan. You had to think about the children. After that, you'd be gone.

A few of Bellamy's members, including the youngest ones, had told you that they wanted to follow you, that they wanted you to be their leader instead. They only told you that because they saw that you were packing up the few items you had with you to leave with. You wanted to leave the merger because you knew that finding a safe place was better than what the merger was already doing. The plan was to head north, raid any shops along the way for supplies, maybe find a place to stay for a few days to rest before you headed back on your journey up north to where the snow would be. Most animals and living creatures (including some people) would have wanted to avoid the cold, so they would have moved away. This would mean that, if you were to head north, granted food might be a bit difficult to find, the Z's would have more difficulty finding food, especially as they moved slower in the cold, and as there wouldn't be as many people. Some people, who were too stubborn for their own good, would have either followed the animals south, because living on tinned beans was too much, or they would have stayed behind and died from not eating. Which would mean that there would still be rations of food and supplies up north to survive on. The rest of the animals would head south, towards the warmer climate, which would mean that the Z's would have some kind of food to eat before they completely perished—because they do need brains to keep going.

That was the plan anyway. Until one of the members of Bellamy's group, who wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to leave with you or not, somehow managed to convince you to stay, even if it was just for a little while: "Look, I know Bellamy is a hardass, and, quite frankly, a dumbass half of the time, and you don't actually like most of the people from your group or mine, but we need you here. You're good for us, you're good for the kids, and believe it or not, you're good for Bellamy."

"What do you mean by that?" You asked as you placed your bag back down on the ground, looking up at him in confusion.

"Ever since the merger, Bellamy hasn't been as reckless as he used to be. Before the merger, he wouldn't have cared if one of us had taken some ammo and grabbed a gun to go shoot at things. He wouldn't have even cared that we'd sometimes just go out to shoot at cans. He wouldn't have cared if we wasted ammo or drew attention to ourselves. But now, since the merger, he does care."

"But that's not explaining why I'm good for Bellamy, that's just explaining why the merger was good."

The boy looked behind himself, not wanting anyone to overhear him. "I know that it was your leader who told him that he needed to start thinking more, but I also know that you were the one to come up with the idea to begin with."

"How?"

He shrugged. "One of the slightly younger boys in your group was boasting about you. You know, the one with really red hair." That would be Fabian, the guy who was only a month older than you but seemed to believe that it made all the difference in the world when it came to knowing the ins and outs of the apocalypse, when, in fact, he still barely knew how to tie his own shoelaces.

"Yeah? Well, he's an idiot."

"Doesn't change the fact that you know how to survive and you can help us survive. I know Bellamy doesn't listen to you, but your group does, and so do some of us. As long as Bellamy doesn't know who or where we get our information from, where we get our good ideas from, you can be the one who helps us survive this crap."

"So, you want me to be an invisible leader?" You arched an eyebrow, thinking that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. It would give you the opportunity to persuade Bellamy to change his downright godawful plan of not moving north for the better part of keeping his group alive.

The boy gave a lopsided smile as he looked down at you. "If that's how you want to see yourself, then sure. Whatever you say, Boss." He shrugged his shoulders as he spoke.

"Don't call me that." You shook your head and he smirked.

"Roger that, Captain." The boy gave a mock salute and you laughed, pushing him away from yourself slightly.

"Shut up, and try not to expose our secret."

"Yes, Ma'am." He nodded his head and laughed lightly, backing away before anyone got suspicious as to where he had gone off to.

2. KNOWING

DAY: EIGHTEEN

After that rather odd encounter with the boy from Bellamy's group four days ago, you had been suggesting some helpful ideas for a few of the older ones to give to Bellamy. Which was working well enough as Bellamy didn't seem to feel the need to ask how they were coming up with the ideas when they never did before. Most of the ideas consisted of creating lookout groups, building some sort of safety wall around the current camp, that would easily be moved for the next camp location, and making sure to travel in pairs or slightly larger groups—to ensure that they had at least some chance of getting out of a bad situation if it ever arose while out looking for rations or potential weapons. There were some members of the merger who openly listened to you, instead of listening to Bellamy, who was the main leader of the merger, which could have been because you were, somehow, their maternal figure that they had lost. Or, it could have also been because you actually listened to their ideas and tried incorporating them into your own before you got the older ones to relay it over to Bellamy.

There were times, during the day, when you had noticed Bellamy looking over at you intensely, which made you wonder if he knew your secret, and there were other times when Murphy, the boy who convinced you to stay, would tell you that Bellamy was watching you, if you didn't already know. If Bellamy did, in fact, know, then he was probably trying to find something about you that he could use to get you kicked out of the group. Maybe it was the way you trained, the way you spoke, the way you acted, or something else entirely, but whatever it was, he was bound to find it, that much you knew for sure. It was often when you were helping some of the members train with knives and other quieter weapons that you could find, rather than guns, that you would see Bellamy watching. Murphy would sometimes make a loud, unnecessary comment around you just to see how Bellamy would react. Which would usually be his shoulders tensing, his jaw clenching, his eyes glaring, and his body turning to leave. Murphy would laugh once Bellamy was out of sight and look over at you with a grin, feeling proud of himself.

"You can't keep doing that, Murphy," you told him while rolling your eyes, your own smile growing on your face at his childishness.

"I can't?"

You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "What could you possibly get out of making him stressed?"

"Aside from stressing him out? The feeling of knowing I'm right."

"About?"

"Everything."

"Cocky," you laughed, shaking your head at him.

"Oh, I am. I've even got a great one."

"Okay!" You spoke loudly, moving away from the twelve-year-old that you were helping train use knives, patting their upper arms to let them know that you thought they were doing a good job, which was something that you never imagined yourself doing, but it was all about survival now. Murphy snorted a laugh and followed you. "You can't say shit like that around the kids!"

"They've been through worse." He waved you off. "You should have heard what some of the older girls used to scream at night when Bellamy was with them. My comment was child-friendly, theirs usually weren't."

"You're unbelievable." You shook your head with a look of amazement on your face.

"I'm your best friend," he corrected you.

You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head. "Says who?"

"Me… and I'm right about everything, remember?"

"I've only known you for four days?"

"Time is nothing but an illusion," he spoke in a fake old man's voice.

With the roll of your eyes, you mumbled back, "Whatever."

3. NEW ROLE

DAY: TWENTY-ONE

A few nights after that interesting conversation, while most people who weren't on watch were sitting around the small fire eating dinner, Murphy had sat down next to you, scooping the beans out of the tin with his knife. You watched him with a slightly disgusted face, no longer eating your own food because your appetite had left you. He had killed a Z with that knife a day ago, granted he washed it, but the fact still remained that it was his killing knife, and now apparently his dinner one too. Murphy looked over to you and laughed at your expression. Most of the children, who were still awake, were eating, and a few older members of the merger were sitting around as well, which included both group leaders, despite Bellamy being the main, and one of the older men, Lloyd, from your old group—who had watched you kill four living people and two undead with a machete after a trade went bad a few months ago before the merger.

Your attention was taken away from Murphy when one of the youngest, who was about nine or so, walked up to you and patted your arm. "Mum?"

From the corner of your eye, you saw your leader, Mitch, and Lloyd freeze. They turned to face you, staring in concern, which, in turn, concerned Bellamy and a few others, who quietly asked what was wrong. Mitch answered back quietly enough for you to pick up on, although the child and Murphy apparently did not, "She once strangled a girl to death for looking at her in the wrong way. What do you think she's going to do now that a kid has called her something that she's not?" After that, his voice got too quiet to hear. Bellamy only smirked because he knew that if you snapped and killed the child, then no one would listen to you and he would be in complete charge again. However, it also meant that you would probably be kicked out and he didn't exactly like some of the members of your group who only listened to him because you told them to, so he was conflicted.

"Yeah? What's up? You need something?" You arched an eyebrow.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm still hungry and Georgie took some of mine." The boy pointed to George, the other boy with his front two teeth missing while looking at you.

A few members of your old group blinked and stared in shock, not expecting you to be okay with it. You passed the plate over to him and he smiled, taking it before he walked back over to his friend. Murphy nudged your shoulder. "That was weird, don't you think?"

Truth was, when you were younger, before the apocalypse, you never imagined yourself as a mother, let alone a maternal figure for anyone, it just never really seemed to be on your mind, it never really interested you. But, at some point during the merger, that you had technically been a part of for twenty-one days, you ended up being that maternal figure for some of the younger members of Bellamy's group. A role that you tried taking seriously because you knew they were scared and needed someone, anyone, to tell them that they were going to be okay, that they weren't alone, and that it was okay to be scared. It was probably bound to happen to you at some point anyway, considering as most of the older girls in Bellamy's group couldn't care less about anyone besides themselves, all they wanted to do was sleep with Bellamy—some even tried sleeping with a few of your original group's members—while the two other women from your group, who had no children before the apocalypse, seemed to be disgusted with the younger members, so they were out of the competition. Even though it wasn't a competition, you weren't even trying.

You looked over to him, rolling your eyes. "Shut up, Murphy."

"Yes, Mum," he mumbled with a smirk, continuing to eat his dinner with his knife.

4. FEELING NOTHING

DAY: TWENTY-THREE

Two days after the dinner, and the accidental name calling, Bellamy decided it was time for the group to keep moving, to change campsite locations. That idea was something you could get behind, especially as the group was slowly making its way up north, rather than going further south or just to the side. The idea also might have been because of a few persuasive words you had given Mitch, who then passed them onto Bellamy—who was none the wiser to the fact that it was your idea. During the move, Murphy was by your side, holding his gun tightly in his hands while his shoulders were tensed up. Bellamy was closer up to the front of the group, with a map in his hands that had the route already planned out in a red coloured pen mark, while Mitch stayed closer to the back—taking on the strategy that a leader of a pack of wolves would have, which seemed to be working anyway, despite the fact that you weren't wolves. Most of the younger members were in the middle, closed in by those who knew how to use the weapons, which mainly consisted of all the members of your old group, and only a few of Bellamy's.

"How far do you think Bellamy will take us?" Murphy asked quietly.

"Not as far as I would go, but that's just because he's trying to be cautious."

Murphy scrunched his face up and scoffed through his nose. "Since when are you on the 'Bellamy Blake defence squad'?"

You laughed quietly. "Since we started heading north."

"We are?"

"Yes. We shifted directions a while ago, and I can tell that we have from the placement of the sun."

"My god, could you be any more of a loser?"

"Yeah, I mean, I could make a sundial and tell you the exact time."

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, shaking his head while grinning.

"You asked."

"I didn't think you would deliver."

With a shrug, you laughed. "I always—"

A loud, shrieking, scream cut you off and you turned to look behind yourself, as did Murphy. One of the girls from Bellamy's group, who you had seen leave his tent early in the morning three days ago, was trying to push a Z away from her. She had been one of the girls who had had a gun before the merger, so you assumed she knew what she was doing, that she could protect herself, but her gun was on the ground, with the safety still on. It bit into her hand as she, stupidly, tried pushing its face away from her. After finally realising what was happening in the situation, Murphy shot the Z in the head and it dropped to the ground while the girl cried and cradled her hand to her chest, slowly turning to face the group. The members from your old group lifted their weapons up to make sure no other Z got close to the group, if there were any more Z's around, that is. Bellamy suddenly appeared beside you, wondering what the yelling was about, and he stared at the girl. His expression was the same as it always was: empty. He didn't even flinch when he raised his own gun, ignoring the girl's whimpering and pleading, and shot her right between her eyes. Bellamy didn't even bother staying behind to watch as his previous group member's head was knocked back from the force of the blow or as her body fell to the ground in a heap. The dull thud of her body hitting the ground sent a shiver down your spine.

"Someone pick up the gun and let's keep moving," he ordered.

"Bellamy!" You called back, turning around to face him, still in shock. "Shouldn't we move her? Give her a burial or something? Are we just going to leave her out here like she's nothing?"

He turned back around to face you, shaking his head as he scoffed. "What do you expect me to do? Cry over her lack of survival skills? It's not my fault she got herself killed."

It then clicked with you that he didn't even recognise her. He didn't even remember the girl he had slept with. Bellamy didn't even bother remembering her name. She was just another dead person to him. He didn't care. Bellamy stared at you for a few more seconds before he turned back around and kept moving. The rest of the group was still in shock, but followed behind him, slowly, nonetheless. Murphy let out a deep sigh, shaking his head before he placed his hand on your back and pushed you forward a bit so you could both keep walking together. One of your old group members, Wyatt, picked up the gun and clicked the safety off, handing it to one of the boys from Bellamy's group, who was crying and holding the gun with shaky hands.

5. CHANGE IS GOOD

DAY: THIRTY-ONE

Only eight days had passed since Bellamy killed the girl. The group had moved camp twice since then. It also had only been over a week since the little boy, Lewis, had called you 'Mum', and since then, others had started to do it as well. It had become a normal thing, something that you didn't think twice about anymore. Murphy often did it as a joke, but only when it was the two of you hanging out together, he didn't want to mess up his reputation—whatever reputation he claimed that was. You did notice, however, that whenever it happened, and Bellamy was around, Bellamy would roll his eyes and shake his head, thinking that it was stupid. There were even times when you would hear him scoff to himself when he overheard one of the members call you mum. You never let his attitude get to you, after all, it didn't concern him—apparently, nothing did. If the younger members of the merger felt better, safer, or even happier, calling you their 'mum' or at least seeing you as their maternal figure, then you were going to let them. They were children, they shouldn't have to grow up desensitised or feeling numb, even if it was the apocalypse.

"So," Murphy started to talk once he walked up to you, while you were helping set up small tents in the new campsite, "how does it feel knowing you're a mother to about twenty people?"

You stopped what you were doing, and stared at the tent material. "Is that a genuine question or are you being a piece of shit?" You turned to look at him, still upset that you couldn't give the eighteen-year-old girl the proper burial that she deserved. He had his hands in his pocket and shrugged, moving over to help you.

"Genuine, I guess."

"Weird," you answered truthfully, continuing to set the tent up, now with Murphy's help, while glancing at a few of the others who helped set up the other tents. "I can barely remember my own mother, so I have no idea if I'm doing it right."

"I'd say you are."

"No offence, but your opinion on this matter means nothing to me."

Murphy laughed quietly. "I know, it's fine, I don't take offence to that." He shook his head and turned to look at you. "If you really want to know if you're doing something right, then you should probably know that the number of children who have had nightmares and have woken up screaming has gone down, by, like, a lot."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Before the merger, if one of the kids was scared, Bellamy would just brush them off and tell them to get over it. You, on the other hand, talk to them about it and comfort them, you don't leave them until they've stopped crying and have calmed down."

"I didn't know that," you spoke softly and slowly, being slightly shocked at what Murphy had told you. You stood up straighter, letting the material of the tent fall from your hands. Murphy did the same.

"Well, you've only been with us for thirty-one days, and I did tell you that you were good for us."

"Yeah, you did," your voice still sounded distant as you took it all in.

"And I'm always right."

You snapped out of your daze and replied in your normal tone of voice, "You were wrong to eat your beans with your killing knife, you threw up like five times after that."

"Okay, let's move on from that, shall we? You bring that up a lot."

"I have to remind you of your stupidity so you don't get lost in the clouds while you're on your high horse, the air is thin up there, you have to be careful," you jested. Murphy snorted a laugh and nudged you, shaking his head while he finished putting up the rest of the tent.

"Whatever. But I am right that you're good for us, this change is good. Without you, Bellamy would have sent us burning into the ground long ago. We would have probably been down in double-digit numbers if it wasn't for you, as well. You keep us safe and alive. We need you."

"We shouldn't be losing anyone, even in single digit numbers. Besides, Bellamy isn't that bad, Murphy."

"Ever since his sister died, he has been."

"H-He had a sister?"

"Yeah, Octavia. She died a few years ago, I think she was bitten by a Z. Since then, he's never cared who has lived or died, he only cares about himself."

You were about to make another comment when you heard something being thrown down to the ground. It was the sound of metal tent pegs dropping and landing in a heap on the grass. Both of you turned to look towards your right, towards the others who were setting up the tents, who had also heard the noise and turned to look for themselves, and you saw Bellamy straighten up and clench his jaw. Murphy swore under his breath and you both watched Bellamy walk away. None of the others knew why he had gone off so suddenly, which was probably for the best.

"Fuck, I—"

"I'll talk to him," you told Murphy, patting his arm. "Just help finish up here."

6. AN EXPLANATION

DAY: THIRTY-ONE

When you walked away to find Bellamy, trying not to look panicked as you didn't want to freak anyone out, you knew that he would probably yell at you and tell you to leave him alone. It was expected, he had just overheard someone talk about his sister, his dead sister, like it was nothing, but he needed to know that he wasn't going to have to grieve alone. You also realised that it couldn't have been easy on him, killing the girl, especially if it brought up any memories of his sister. By the time you did find him, it had got darker, and you knew that most of the merger members would be having dinner or getting ready for bed. Bellamy was in his own tent when you finally found him. It was the first place you looked, but you guessed that he had only just returned to it, he might have been at target practice before, trying to get his mind off of things. Or, perhaps, he was occupying his mind some other kind of way with someone else.

His back was turned to you when you walked in and he was sitting on his sleeping bag. "Bellamy," you spoke softly, staying close to the entrance, not wanting to overstep the boundaries.

"Go away," his voice was hoarse.

With a quiet sigh, you shook your head, despite knowing he couldn't see you do that. "You know I can't."

"Why? I told you to leave, so leave."

"Not until you talk to me. It's not good to bottle things up. You don't have to be alone."

He sniffed. "Just get out."

"Not until you tell me about what happened out there. Not until you open up about what happened with—"

"No."

"Bellamy—"

"I said no!" He yelled, standing up to face you. "Don't you ever talk about her! Just get out." He wasn't yelling as much as you thought he would have been, you also expected him to be physically violent, but he hadn't touched you at all.

"I'm not leaving you like this," you told him, offering him a kind smile while slowly walking over to gently wipe away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks.

He stared down at you, letting you wipe the tears before he moved away from you quickly, almost recoiling from your touch, as if you had burned him. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I—"

"You can talk to me, Bellamy, you can talk to me and it will just be between us."

"I… She—" He stopped himself.

"She what?"

Bellamy shook his head and sat back down on his sleeping bag. Hesitantly, you moved over to sit by him, but not extremely close, just close enough to let him know you were there. "She wasn't meant to be there," he admitted, closing his eyes as he sighed. "You know what? I shouldn't be telling you this."

"You have to tell someone, why not the 'Camp Mum'?"

"I can't believe you let people call you that."

"They're scared, they need someone. Most children's instincts are to find their mum when they're scared, and I'm guessing that none of them have their real mother anymore. So, if I can be the one to make them feel safer, then who am I to take that away from them?"

He looked over to you before quickly looking away. "She was just a kid," he started to explain, looking at the floor of his tent. "I was meant to be looking after her because I was her big brother. We were meant to be inside the camp, but she wanted to see the stupid flowers. Most of the plants around our old camp were just weeds, but these ones were real flowers. I don't know what they were, but they weren't weeds. I didn't want to be out there, so I wasn't paying as much attention to her, as I was to making sure none of our other group members found us and told us off. I only had my back turned for a second before I heard her scream and cry. When I turned back to look at her, a Z had already bitten into her shoulder while another was biting her arm. There was nothing I could do to save her, there's no cure… I couldn't do anything to save her. But I knew I could stop her from being one of them. Octavia never wanted to be one of them. I lifted my gun up and I—"

"You saved her, Bellamy," you told him. Murphy never said how she had died so you assumed that he didn't know the full story or what Bellamy had been through. He didn't know that to Bellamy, killing that girl must have been like he was reliving the death of Octavia all over again. "You saved her from becoming the monster that she didn't want to become." You couldn't blame him for his actions or behaviour. He had to kill his own sister. If you had to kill your own sibling, knowing that they were watching you, knowing that they knew you would be the one to kill them, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself after that either. "You're not a bad person."

"I'm not safe for anyone here."

"You've got them this far, Bellamy. I'd say that you are."

"They don't trust me in the same way that they trust you."

"Then earn their trust. Be someone they can turn to."

"How?" He asked, watching you stand up to leave.

"By being their leader."

7. DIFFERENT

DAY: THIRTY-EIGHT

Only another week had passed, yet a lot had happened in that one week. After finding out what really happened to Bellamy's sister, and telling him that it wasn't his fault, he wasn't as cold to you as he was before. The scoffing at the nickname had stopped, the glaring had stopped, and instead, he was trying to be a better leader. He knew that his secret was safe with you, especially after he heard you tell Murphy to knock it off with the questioning. Of course, Murphy was grouchy about not knowing what happened, but he got over it after three days. The weather was getting colder, especially as Bellamy had moved camp again, so it meant that more groups had to go out and find supplies to keep the rest of the group warm. The group had only moved once during the week, and the further north you got, the more abandoned the buildings had become, which meant that there were more rations to find—which was a good thing because it meant that people didn't have to ration the rations like before.

While you had been sitting in one of the larger tents that were used for holding weapons and rations, Murphy was off catching up on his lost sleep after his guard duty from a few hours ago. This meant that you were left alone to try and plan the next trip ahead. There was a small table set up in the tent, with a faded map and a few pencils, with one red pen in the mix. Mitch had asked you to set up a route because it was what you had done for your old group before the merger and you were good at it, and then, when you were done, he would give it to Bellamy without telling him that it was your idea. That was the original plan, but since Bellamy was no longer avoiding you like you were the zombie plague, it had been a bit more difficult to keep the secret from him. It was also a lot more difficult to keep the secret from him when he cleared his throat from behind you, looking over your shoulder.

"Ah, shit!" You yelled, holding your hand to your chest as your heart thumped quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at a map."

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow with his hands behind his back.

"I like maps."

"Okay… but can't you admire a map without drawing on it?"

"I could, but I really like maps."

Bellamy sighed, tilting his head at you. "What are you really doing?"

"If I tell you, you'll get mad."

"Oh, really?"

"Umm…"

He lightly hit your arm with the back of his hand. "We're friends, you can tell me."

"We are? Or are you just saying that to trick me?"

A small smile grew on Bellamy's face as he laughed a little. "We're friends. Just tell me what you're doing."

"Mitch wanted me to plan the next trip to the new campsite."

"Oh."

"'Oh'? Bellamy, what does that mean?"

He looked at the map. "It means… 'oh'."

"You're mad."

"No. I'm not mad." He shook his head, staring at the map still, instead of you. "How many times have you done this?"

"Every single time." You winced, not looking at him in his eyes this time.

"Really? Why did Mitch tell me that he did it? Why didn't he give you the credit?"

Your eyebrows furrowed together, not expecting that. "The… What?"

"Did you think I'd be angry at you for planning our trips?" He asked and you looked at him, making him look at you as well.

"Well, I didn't think you really liked me all that much, so…"

"I didn't, in the beginning. But we're friends. I can't be mad at you for making the routes that are keeping our group alive and safe."

"So, you're not mad?"

Bellamy shook his head. "No. Just tell me when you've finished the route." Bellamy offered you a smile before he turned around and walked out of the tent.

"What just happened?”

8. NOT THE ONLY ONE

DAY: THIRTY-EIGHT

It was almost the middle of the night, and most of the younger members were asleep, but you and a few of the older members were still awake, sitting around a small fire, unable to sleep yourselves. Murphy was sharpening his knife, quietly talking to you about how training was going, as he was also helping train some of the members of the group, along with Lloyd and Wyatt, while you were sorting the ammo out, evenly distributing it into the small boxes.

"Fabian is absolutely hopeless. He couldn't hit the target even if it was directly in front of him and guiding his knife towards itself for him. I get what you mean when you say he's an idiot," Murphy mumbled.

"Three months ago, he almost shot himself in the leg cleaning a loaded gun," you told him.

"Jesus, he's a walking disaster. I feel sorry for his mother for giving birth to the world’s biggest mistake."

"Amen to that, 'Johnny boy'."

"You heard him call me that?"

"It was the highlight of my day."

"I hate him," Murphy hissed bitterly.

The tent, just over on the right of you and Murphy, rustled, and a little girl, who had matted hair and pale skin, walked out and rubbed her eyes. You slowed down what you were doing, waiting for her to waddle over to you for something, and you smiled softly, knowing that it would be more calming for the girl to see that than a blank expression. But, instead, she moved over to Bellamy, who was closer to her tent and who also had his back to her while he was cleaning his gun. She nudged his back. "Papa?" He tensed up at her small voice and turned to look at the girl, an eyebrow raised and a frown on his face.

Silently, you stopped separating the bullets and watched. Murphy also stopped talking and watched, his eyes flickering between the two of them, occasionally looking at you. Bellamy, not knowing what to do, cleared his throat and glanced away quickly, catching sight of your expression before he looked back and sat up straighter. "Uh, yeah, kid? Can I help you?" He asked her, sounding rather awkward and slightly aggressive.

The little girl began to talk softly to Bellamy, so you could no longer hear her. You looked back down at the ammo, with a small smile on your face, and shook your head with a quiet laugh. Murphy nudged your arm, leaning over to whisper, "Does that mean I have to start calling him 'Daddy' now?"

"Shut up, Murphy," you responded, no longer smiling, but instead pulling a slightly disgusted face.

Murphy laughed to himself, sharpening his knife once more. "Yes, Mum."

9. MAKE LIGHT

DAY: FORTY-FIVE

Ever since that night, you made it your mission to joke about it to Bellamy. Murphy did too, but it was only when you were in a big crowd surrounded by the younger members of the merger, and it was purely just to annoy Bellamy, considering as Murphy still didn't like him very much. The other members of the merger now started to call Bellamy 'Dad' as well as calling you 'Mum', much to Bellamy's annoyance. Whenever the group would be moving camp, slowly making their way up north as you had hoped, you would catch up to Bellamy with a smirk and make a comment, most of the time it ranged from: 'Babe, our kids are wondering when we're going to stop for a break.' To, 'Our son says he's out of ammo, you got any more?'. At first, Bellamy would rarely find the humour in your comments, because he never saw himself as the father figure to the group, but there were times when you would find yourself talking about the members like they were your children without realising it, and he would end up smiling, even if you were yelling at him for being rude.

"All I'm saying is that you don't have to be so aggressive when talking to Georgie and Lew. They're some of the youngest in our group and they don't fully understand why you sound so angry with them when they ask if they could sit down for a little while," you told him as the two of you walked slightly ahead of the group.

Bellamy sighed and shook his head. "I'm like that because it's almost dark soon and we haven't got to the checkpoint yet," he answered, showing you the map you had been working on.

"I know what the map says, Bell. I know it better than anyone else."

"Then you know that we have to make it to the checkpoint before anyone can rest, that includes the boys." Bellamy had wanted the group to move again, just before it got too dark to move safely. The journey up north might have been better in the long run, but that didn't mean the journey was going to be smooth sailing. It got darker much earlier than it did down south, and with the lack of light, it meant that the heat from the sun didn't last as long, so it became colder much earlier too, and the cold meant slower movements when it came to travelling. "We can't always baby them, you know that." Bellamy looked down at you before looking ahead of himself again, occasionally glancing down at the map. "They have to grow up sometime."

"I know, but, right now, my kids don't need to be scared of their leader. Not for another few years at least, just wait until they can really understand right from wrong."

There was a small smile that made its way to Bellamy's face as he looked at the map and then back up to the path. "Right," he commented.

"What?" You asked, knowing he wasn't saying everything he wanted to, you could somehow hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"I call you out on your bullshit, Bellamy. Tell me."

"It's nothing, I promise."

"If it's nothing then it shouldn't be a problem for you to tell me what's on your mind."

He shook his head and laughed lightly. "I just like the fact that you take your role seriously. You know, being their mother."

"Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged. "Never pegged you as the type when you first joined the merger."

"I never pegged you as the type of guy who would have more than one facial expression when I first joined the merger either, but here we are. All you did was frown and glare," you told him while trying to imitate his expression.

"I don't look like that," he argued.

You laughed. "Umm, yeah, you do."

"No, I… I smile," he tried to sound convincing, but ultimately failed.

"Yeah, after killing Z's and watching Murphy throw up."

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "I smile at more things than that."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Well…" Bellamy had started but quickly looked back down to the map to avoid answering you.

"Really?" You laughed at his behaviour. "My apocalyptic husband is an idiot," you mumbled with a smile, shaking your head before you quickly glanced behind yourself to check on the others. George and Lewis were walking behind the two of you, holding hands, while looking exhausted. You turned back to Bellamy and saw him quickly look away from you, something that you decided not to comment on, but rather ignore and hope it was nothing. "On behalf of our sons, are we there yet?"

"You tell me, Anaximander."

"I'm not a map maker! Stop calling me that! You've called me that ever since you found out I've been the mapper."

Bellamy laughed quietly to himself. "Whatever," he mumbled. "We are almost there, just another mile to go."

You looked back to the boys. "Almost there, just hang on for a little while longer. Can you do that?" George and Lewis nodded their heads and you smiled. "You guys are doing great." When you turned back to the front and looked over at Bellamy, you rolled your eyes at his knowing smile. "Oh, shut up."

10. GOSSIP

DAY: FIFTY

Murphy was laying down on your sleeping bag in your tent while you scanned over the map again. He had found a dirty tennis ball on the ground once the group got to the checkpoint and he had kept it with himself ever since, making sure to hide it from the younger members of the group—he claimed that he wouldn't have seen it again if he gave it to them to play with and he needed it to keep himself sane. He was filling you in on what his journey was like, considering as you had been up at the front with Bellamy to make sure he was reading the map directions clearly, while throwing the ball up in the air to catch. One of his most stressed points was that he hated travelling alone, mainly because he had to listen to some of the girls' gossip and some of the kids' weird lies that they claimed to be true—like seeing a zombie dog going on a walk with its zombie owner. You could only laugh at how annoyed Murphy sounded as he recalled the conversation he was forced into with one of the kids.

"I swear to god, if I'm forced to listen to that kid one more time, I'm putting a gun in my mouth."

"Kids just want to see the good in things, you know? They forget that their wild imaginations aren't believed by adults because they haven't lost their innocents about the world, even when the world has ended."

"Yo, Socrates," Murphy called out, throwing the tennis ball at the side of your head, "shut up."

You looked up from the map when the ball hit you on the side of your head. "Just sayin'."

"Mmm, well… Oh, and another thing!—" You couldn't help but laugh at his excitement. He was acting like a small puppy, one who was deprived of any attention, that was finally seeing another dog for the first time. The 'another thing' that was apparently noteworthy, according to Murphy, was that Bellamy had stopped sleeping around with the girls from his group. This piece of information wouldn't have mattered that much to you before. But, for some reason, now, it did, and for some reason now you were happy about it. But you would have assumed that it was awkward for him now that the 'Dad' nickname stuck and it ruined any other variations of it for him. Maybe it was because, in the beginning, it was only a joke, but now, since it's become such a normal thing, something more real, it would just seem weird for him to sleep with someone who he might consider his apocalyptic child. "Crazy, right?" Murphy held his arms out, waiting for your response. "That man is a whore and I'm surprised he hasn't completely shrivelled up and died."

You raised an eyebrow, noting how much he sounded like some of the girls from his group. "Why was this something you felt like I needed to know?"

He shrugged. "Dunno."

"Didn't you just say that you hated listening to gossip? Why are you starting it? Are you going to ask me to braid your hair next?"

Murphy rolled onto his side to pick up the tennis ball. "I've been surrounded by too many teenaged girls, which wouldn't have been a problem to me before because—"

"Move on!"

"It's like a contagious disease," he whined. "I-I can't be alone next trip, I'm up at the front with you next time," he told you while pointing at you, making it clear that it wasn't a negotiation.

"I'm sure Bellamy would like that."

Murphy laughed to himself as he rolled back onto his back to throw the ball up again. "I think he will too." He nodded before yawning. "It's late, I'm going to go to bed," he said as he caught the ball and sat up. "I will see you in the morning, Mother. Bright and early!" He laughed to himself again as he left your tent, without giving you time to say goodbye to him.

"Clearly that 'contagious disease' has messed with his head a lot more than he realises," you mumbled to yourself, looking back down at your map. "What a strange, strange boy."

11. PROGRESS

DAY: FIFTY-NINE

Camp moved again. This time, instead of camping outside, Bellamy had noticed that there was a large building, just off to the side of the path your mapped-out route had been taking the group. He decided to scope the place out, with a few other appointed guards before setting camp up inside. Once the building was cleared, and a perimeter was set up outside to make sure no entrances were left vulnerable, everyone else moved inside. Bellamy stood beside you with a wide smile on his face, it was one of the very few real smiles he had had since you joined the merger almost two months ago. The building had two floors, the bottom one was mostly empty and looked like parts of the ground had been burnt, or whatever used to be inside was burnt. There were pieces of debris and random metal tables and chairs—Bellamy suggested that it could have been a workshop before the apocalypse as there were some tools left behind and random frameworks left too. But whatever it was, it was home for now. The upstairs was cleared and people moved their belonging up there to set up their sleeping bags.

Without saying anything, you nodded over to Mitch, who nodded back. Mitch and Wyatt had moved some of the metal tables together near one of the walls of the building before moving one of the metal frameworks and a large piece of flat wood, with the help of Lloyd, over to the middle gap, in between the tables, and pressed it against the wall. At first, Bellamy seemed confused as to what they were doing, but he kept quiet when he saw that you understood what was happening. Wyatt collected a few of the tools from around the building, mostly clamps and parts that would hold things together, while you pulled out one of the larger maps and waited for Wyatt and Lloyd to attach the wood to the frame before you pined the map up against it, making a makeshift bulletin board. Mitch took out smaller maps and other pieces of equipment and placed them down on the metal tables. Soon, Bellamy realised that it was a small 'Base of Operations' area to plan out new routes and ration trips. Lloyd and Wyatt collected the boxes of ammo and spare guns to place underneath the tables or on top of them.

"I know it's not the best," Mitch spoke with a slightly disappointed expression, "but we are working with what we've got."

"No, no," Bellamy argued, thinking that it was a rather genius idea. "It's great. How'd you come up with this?"

"You should thank your mapper for all of this, not me," Mitch replied, holding his hands up in defence.

You turned around once you placed the last pin into the map. "I worked with the military before the world ended. We did this before the merger too."

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest with a light laugh. "So, that's why you were so good at mapping and training?"

"It came in handy." You nodded in response.

"I should have guessed sooner. Any more secrets you have hiding from me?"

"One or two up my sleeves, but I'm sure you'll find out about them soon enough."

Murphy walked up to the base of operations, fake gagging. "Get a room you two."

"What do you need?" You asked with a laugh.

"Lewis isn't feeling so good, he's asking for you."

"Oh," you frowned, no longer laughing. "Is he upstairs?"

Murphy nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, uhh." You turned to Mitch. "You good to finish setting up here?"

Mitch nodded. "Yeah, go see your kid."

Murphy led you upstairs to where Lewis was before he backed away, towards the top of the stairs, leaving you alone with him. You watched as Murphy pulled one of the metal chairs towards himself and sat down, facing you and Lewis, watching quietly in case you needed him for anything. Lewis was paler than usual and his temperature was higher than it should have been. His face looked sunken in, his eyes were surrounded by a dark reddish-purple bruise, and his lips were dried and cracked. You sat down next to him, opening up one of the water bottles and handed it over to him, wiping away the tears that he had rolling down his cheeks. Once he handed you the water bottle back, he rested his head against you, wrapping his small arms around your waist. Only one thought came to your mind as you poured some water on a small towel to press against his forehead and placed the water bottle back down on the ground slowly.

"Lew," you asked softly, keeping the damp towel pressed against his skin.

"Yeah, Mama?"

"Were you bitten by anything before we got here?"

"No, Mama."

"Are you sure?" You asked softly again. He nodded his head and yawned. "Okay, get some sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay," he mumbled back.

12. GONE

DAY: FIFTY-NINE

A few hours had passed, probably two at the most, and you couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. Usually, where there was one, you'd find the other. Murphy had dozed off on the chair, holding his tennis ball in his right hand, so he didn't see your worried expression. Lewis had woken up ten minutes ago for the second time during his sleep and was finally drinking water, and eating some of the crackers that the last ration group had found—it was the only thing he could keep down. He threw up the food you tried to give him an hour ago. His temperature was still warm, but it wasn't as hot as before, but that could have just been because you kept a cold towel to his forehead.

"Hey, Lew?" You looked down at him once he put the lid back on the water bottle.

"Yeah?" He sniffed, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve.

An awful taste was lodged in your mouth as you swallowed and asked, "Where's Georgie? Didn't he want to come over to see how you were doing?"

"He's outside." Lewis shrugged, picking up another cracker.

"What-What do you mean? What do you mean he's outside?" It was getting harder to stay calm in front of him.

"He wanted to play outside for a little bit before he came inside with all of us, I would have stayed with him but I was too tired."

"Okay, thank you for telling me. I-I'm just going to go downstairs for a little while, but I will have Murphy over there take care of you. Okay?"

"Okay." He nodded, unfazed by your words.

You offered him a smile before you stood up and quickly made your way over to Murphy, hitting him awake. "What?" He sat up straighter.

"Watch my kid, I will be back." You looked around the top floor to make sure no one was looking at you.

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know. I will tell you as soon as I find out, okay?"

"Roger that. Go," he ushered you off, standing up himself as he made his way over to Lewis, putting the tennis ball back into his pocket.

Without looking back at them, you quickly made your way downstairs. While you had been gone, Mitch and the others had set up the tent material as a divider for the Base of Operations, holding the material up with the metal framework that was left lying around. You pushed through the dark green material and made your way over to one of the metal tables to grab a gun with shaky hands. Bellamy turned his body slightly away from the map to see who it was before he turned back to the map again when he saw it was you but quickly spun to face you again when he realised what you were doing. "Hey, hey, slow down." He stepped toward you and placed his hands on top of yours.

You couldn't think straight, it felt like you were having a heart attack. "I can't, Bell. Not now."

"What's going on?" Mitch asked.

"Georgie."

"What about George?" Lloyd tilted his head, he was sitting on top of one of the ammo boxes.

"He's outside."

"What?" Bellamy raised an eyebrow.

"I asked Lewis where George was because I realised he hadn't been to visit Lewis, and he said he was outside playing. He never came in with us, he wanted to play outside. He's all alone out there and he's probably scared."

"Okay, I'll go with you," Bellamy replied, trying to calm you down. "Just—"

"H-How could I let this happen? They were right behind me! He was right behind me! How—?"

"Hey!" Bellamy yelled, forcing you to stop and breathe, his hands were on your upper arms, keeping you from moving. "We will find him and bring him back. It's okay. Last perimeter check showed that no Z's were around, he's okay."

With a shaky breath, you nodded and loaded the gun properly. Bellamy, Lloyd, and Wyatt followed you outside, making sure to close the door properly so no one else could follow the four of you. But you were sure that Mitch would have stopped them anyway if they tried to do so. As you stepped outside of the building, you could feel the cold wind. It was much colder than you expected it to be, so you had no doubt that George was freezing out there all alone. Wyatt handed you one of the small torches he had brought out and he pointed to the left, indicating that he would go look over there. Bellamy nudged you and pointed to the right, and Lloyd motioned towards the back of the building, leaving you to go straight ahead. As you stepped forwards, you held your gun up, pointing it out in front of you, in your right hand, while your left hand was underneath with the torch facing out in front of you. The wind blew loudly against the leaves of the trees, causing a loud rustling and howling sound to emit, which meant that you had to be careful as to where you stepped because you didn't know if George would run off and scream or not if he heard it.

After a while, the wind died down, causing it to be almost too quiet outside as you walked around, bar the sound of your own heart beating wildly, and an unwelcome sense of fear crept up the back of your neck with a cold sweat. The temperature had dropped a few more degrees while you had been out, and your cheeks stung from the cold air as if they were being cut with tiny knives. Your hands had become stiff as your blood struggled to circulate in the cold weather. As you stepped forward once more—after being out for around twenty minutes—you felt the ground shift slightly under your boot and a slight metal squeak echoed dully. Slightly confused, you moved your foot to see what it was, you noticed a red sign with white writing once you shone the torch over it. The words: 'WARNING: DANGEROUS SITE. UNAUTHORISED ENTRY TO THIS SITE IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.' were written on it, and next to it, slightly covered by dead leaves, there was a yellow sign with black writing that simply stated: 'DANGER: RADIATION.' with nothing else. As you bent down to look at the signs, to make sure you were actually reading them correctly, you heard twigs snapping to your left. Quickly, you turned to point the gun, aiming the torch to see what was out there with you. Wyatt had his hands up in defence, scrunching his face up as the light from the torch shone in his face, blinding him for a second, while Lloyd shook his head with a frown.

"No luck," Lloyd commented, noticing the signs on the ground.

"We found no footprints, no ripped pieces of clothing left on the low branches of trees, and we couldn't hear anything. Which means no Z's… or George." Wyatt sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You?"

"Nothing." You shook your head.

"What about Bellamy?"

You shrugged. "I don't know."

Lloyd began to walk towards the direction Bellamy would have been in. "Let's find out."

Wyatt placed his hand on your shoulder, glancing down at the signs you had been looking at. Wyatt remained quiet, like Lloyd had, when he looked back up at you. "We will find him. He's going to be fine." You nodded your head and turned to follow Lloyd. Wyatt was next to you, occasionally turning his weapon to the side, looking through the scope, before he turned back. "It's not your fault," Wyatt told you quietly. "None of this is your fault."

"Can we just find Georgie and bring him back home without talking?"

"Sure."

A few meters in front of you, Lloyd stopped abruptly and lowered his weapon. "Lloyd?" You asked, moving to stand next to him on his right while looking at his face. "W—?" When you turned to see what he was looking at, you saw Bellamy against one of the trees, his back pressed up against the base of the trunk, with his hands resting on top of his knees. He was gripping his gun weakly and was quietly staring off into the space in front of himself. "Bellamy?" He didn't look up at you as you stepped closer to him, moving around Lloyd and to his left.

It was then when you were able to see what Lloyd had seen from where he was standing, that you felt as if your heart had stopped beating altogether, breaking apart into small pieces after it froze with the weather outside. George was on the ground, behind the tree that Bellamy was leaning against, with the left side of his skull cracked in. His left eye was missing and you could see straight through his skull, right to the back of it. Half of his brain was missing. George's shirt was raised up slightly and you could see that his small intestines were spilling out onto the blood-soaked ground.

"No." You shook your head. "No, no, no!" The gun and torch in your hand dropped to the ground as you walked over to him and fell to your knees, starting to shove his intestines back into his stomach, with shaky hands, as if it was going to bring him back. "No, no. C-C'mon, Georgie, no. N—" Your voice broke as you started to cry, no longer pushing his intestines back in but instead pulling his body up from the ground to cradle to your chest. Wyatt and Lloyd were too shocked to stop you, and Bellamy was still staring off. "Please, please come back. You're my baby, you can't die, you can't, you—" It felt as if your throat was closing up. "P-Please, Georgie, I'm—" His skin was ice cold as you placed your left hand to his right cheek, not caring that half of his face was missing.

"We can bury him," Bellamy finally spoke up, his voice cracking as he did. "We will build him a casket, and we… we will bury him, headstone and all."

"He's not—" Bellamy turned to face you as you shook your head. "Georgie, he's—"

"He's gone. I'm sorry."

13. LAID TO REST

DAY: SIXTY-ONE

Lewis didn't quite understand. He couldn't understand what happened to George. It didn't make sense that his best friend wasn't coming back. There would be no more sleepovers in the tents, there would be no more sharing food at dinner time, and there would be no more games to play. Lewis didn't quite understand why. He didn't know why George wasn't waking up, why George was so tired, why Mitch and Wyatt were making that small wooden box, or why George was covered in white tent material, all wrapped up, safe from the outside world. The white material had some previous stains from the mud from when it was used, but now it had darker brown stains, over where George's stomach and head was. Lloyd had been the one to wrap him up. Lewis didn't quite understand that either.

When you had brought George's body back to the building two days ago, you had been holding his small body to your own, protectively, despite knowing you could no longer protect him. Lloyd had gone in first and told Mitch, who then when to get Murphy. Murphy had left Lewis with one of the other girls from his old group, who didn't mind all that much as Lewis was only sleeping, and he followed Mitch outside while Lloyd stayed inside. He didn't say anything when he saw you, he just frowned and asked Mitch what he should do to help. You didn't want to let him go, you just wanted to hold him, hoping that maybe he'd come back, that maybe it was all just a dream. But hope was pointless. Bellamy had been the one to pull George's body away from you, to hand George over to Lloyd, and he had been the one who held you as you cried throughout the night.

Only a few people were allowed to attend the small burial, as only a few people actually knew who George was, despite being in his group from the start of the apocalypse. Murphy had been the one to dig the hole, you knew that because you had sat outside, silently, with him while he did, just staring at the gaping hole in the ground that only got bigger. Once George's small casket was lowered and buried underneath the soil, Mitch placed a small headstone down at the top, with George's name and years of birth to death carved into it.

Murphy stepped to the headstone and pulled his tennis ball out, placing it down gently in front of it. "George can play with it, you know, when he gets to the better place. He can make some new friends with it. Lasts longer than flowers, so," Murphy's voice broke off into a whisper, no longer trusting his own voice to stay strong in front of the others. He stepped away from the grave and stood next to you, reaching out to hold your hand, giving you a reassuring squeeze before he walked away, followed by a few of the others, leaving only you and Bellamy.

"It's my fault," Bellamy admitted quietly as he stood next to you. "I was his leader. I was meant to protect him but I didn't. He looked up to me, they all looked up to me to protect them and… and I let him down, I let them all down."

Bellamy sniffed, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve harshly, obviously hating himself for what happened. You shook your head and faced him, pulling him into a hug. "You couldn't have seen this coming, Bell. None of us could have," your voice was just as quiet as his was.

"I'm sorry," he cried quietly, only allowing himself to show you his emotions in private now that the others had left. "I'm so sorry." He held onto you tightly.

"It's going to be okay, Bell. He lived and died as a human. He never became a monster. It's going to be okay."

"He was just a kid."

"I know," you whispered, stroking his hair softly, no longer wanting him to feel the way he did.

"He was our kid…"

"I know."

14. STOCK

DAY: SEVENTY-FOUR

It had been thirteen days since George's small funeral, and since then, Lewis had stopped asking about him. No one ever uttered his name. But people did make it a habit of visiting his grave, gently touching the headstone before they left to go look for rations, as if it was a good luck ritual—so, in a way, he wasn't forgotten. But you knew that that mistake would never be made again. More of the building had been explored, and by 'more of the building', it meant that Fabian had accidentally found a door to a basement when he was messing around with things he wasn't meant to be touching. Mitch made a note to yell at him after it was explored. The basement was much larger than the workshop floor and the second floor. It was also set out like a maze, with different hallways and doors, branching off from the main room.

One area in the main room, that might have been underneath the Base of Operations, was sectioned off by a metal fence, one that you easily got through with two thin pieces of metal to pick the lock with. Whatever the building used to be, workshop or not, it was stocked with heavy artillery. There were about ten rows of shelves, five either side of a walkway space that was in the middle to walk to the other end of the room—not counting the shelves around the actual fence itself and the three other walls, bar one third of the wall at the other end of the room—that were stocked with guns and ammunition. Straight down the middle from the fence door, down towards the back wall, there were three large tables and as soon as you opened the door, you had no doubt that the Base of Operations would be moved down to that room. The rows looked like they hadn't been touched in years, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Mitch and Wyatt stayed behind to make an inventory of what was there.

Once you walked out of the artillery room and turned to your left, you could see two doors along the wall, along with two large windows that took up most of the wall from the floor to ceiling. The door, closest to the artillery room's metal-fenced wall, was a normal looking door, with a sign reading 'supplies' on the foggy window. The next door, that looked heavier and harder to open, was in the middle of two large windows that looked into a dark room. Bellamy had been standing by one of the windows, trying to look in, when you walked over to him. He glanced back at you and shrugged, pulling a face that suggested he had no idea what the room was.

"Want to check it out?" You asked, trying to look in through the window as well.

"After you," he replied, pulling the heavy door open to reveal a small glass chamber with another door just a meter in front of the first.

"It's like a quarantine room chamber," you commented.

"A what?"

"A small chamber or room that doctors or scientists would be in, that separated the quarantine room from the rest of the building, where they would be blasted with air or something to kill any germs or bacteria to keep them safe," you replied with a shrug, glancing back at him as he closed the first door. "You couldn't open both doors at the same time, for safety reasons."

There was a loud beep before a red light above both doors flashed on. Bellamy was about to say something before pressurised steam entered the chamber as blew into his face, causing him to cough. Once it stopped, the red lights turned green and the inner door buzzed, clicking open with a hiss as it opened slightly. You pushed the door open more, grunting at how heavy it was, and stepped into the dark room. As you did so, there was another sound of clinking before the overhead lights flickered on, lighting up the room. There were a few medical beds inside with carts pressed against some of the walls. Opposite the glass chamber, there was a large, two-door doorway with the words 'operating room' written on each door. Bellamy glanced over at you with an odd look on his face as he asked, "What the hell is this place?"

With a shrug, you picked at the blanket on one of the beds. "Looks like someone would have been ready for the apocalypse, too bad they never got the chance to use it."

"Too bad for them, good for us," Bellamy commented when he pulled a cart over to himself and opened one of the drawers to look inside. He closed the drawer and pushed the cart back, moving over to a cabinet that was close to one of the large windows. "Someone left the key on top of this thing." On either side of the walls of the small chamber, there were white cabinets and, what looked like, old defibrillators. "And they left medicine behind too."

"This seems way too good to be true."

"Wait, some of these have gone off. Some are just saline. This one is empty."

You nodded your head, checking to see if any of the equipment still worked. "That's more likely." You pressed a bunch of buttons. "I'm not a doctor so I don't know how this works. Cassian might, I'll ask when he gets back from the trip."

"Who knows, maybe this was just a warehouse used for army training simulations, you guys had them, right?"

"We had logistic supply specialists, but they were more secure than these places, and the simulators that we used for real-life settings weren't like this, they might have been in the past, but it's twenty-one fifty-six now. My training was set for twenty-one fifty-four, two years ago, not the early twenty-first century," you replied as you walked over to stand beside him, looking into the cabinet with him.

"Maybe someone made their own?" Bellamy suggested with a shrug. "Granted, by a seemingly more paranoid person."

"Maybe…"

Outside of the room, Murphy knocked on the window and held up a piece of paper that he wrote on: 'FOUND MEDICINE AND BLANKETS. LLOYD FOUND FOOD.'

"Great," you spoke while holding your thumbs up at him. He smiled back and walked away. "I suppose this is as far north as we're going to get."

"Guards haven't found any Z's around. Snow is starting to settle since it started four days ago." Bellamy moved away from the cabinet and sighed. "Looks like this is our home now."

You frowned. "Should have been George's too."

Bellamy smiled weakly and moved over to you, pulling you into a hug. "I know."

"Maybe we should help out the others and check out the rest of this floor. Cassian and some others can check the rest of this room out."

"Yeah." He nodded and stepped away from you, opening the door to the glass chamber. He had his eyes already closed when he walked in as soon as he closed the door and you laughed, looking down at your shoes when the steam started. The outer door opened and the two of you walked out. "I hate that."

"It's your fault you're a giant," you told him before walking over to where Murphy had gone off to.

"No, it's not!" Bellamy argued back, moving on to find Lloyd.

15. WITHOUT THINKING

DAY: SEVENTY- SEVEN

Once the basement was fully checked out, things began to fall in an organised schedule. The Base of Operations moved down into the basement and the layout of the front of the main floor was changed. Instead of an empty room, there were tables and some chairs set out for meals. Where the main door was, there were tall, heavy metal frameworks that barricaded the door for safety. Some people had moved down to the basement, setting up makeshift walls for privacy, which meant that the top floor had more space. For the first time in a long time, the merger had had an actual meal—which wasn't going to be a very common thing as everyone still had to ration, but at least it was something. When you walked up the stairs, towards the wall that had a small balcony outside, you could see Murphy standing outside with his gun held in his hands tightly. He had been on watch for a while, so you were going to tag him out and let him get some food and some rest. Some of the cold air from the outside blew into the warehouse as you opened the door and placed your hand on Murphy's shoulder. He turned around, and as he did, you could see that he had been on watch with Bellamy.

"Tag out, Murph," you told him, motioning your head inside.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, get some rest."

"Will do." He nodded, stepping around you to head inside.

When the door closed behind him, you looked over at Bellamy and smiled lightly. "You should tag out too. I've got this."

"You sure?" He raised an eyebrow at you. "'Cause I can stay out if you need me to… or, you know, if you want me to. It hasn't been a problem before."

"You mean yesterday when you almost fell asleep?"

Bellamy looked away from you and cleared his throat. "I didn't."

"Tag out, Bell. If I need a buddy, I'll get Wyatt."

"Okay, be on the lookout. Goodnight," Bellamy responded with some reluctance, looking half asleep already. He loosened his grip on his gun and quickly leaned down to kiss you before he stood back up straighter and walked inside, clearly not registering what he had just done. The door to the balcony closed behind him, and all you could do was stand frozen in your spot. His lips had been slightly cold from him being outside for so long, and they seemed to leave behind a lingering feeling of still being on yours. Slowly, your right hand lifted up to touch your lips, barely grazing them, as if not wanting to lose the feeling of him. After realising that that was what you were doing, you quickly dropped your hand from your lips and instead, gripped your own gun, ready to use if necessary. There was no way in hell that the kiss meant anything, it was a simple mistake. Why the hell would it be so important to you if you remembered what Bellamy's lips felt like? You thought vaguely to yourself, shoving all other thoughts away, shaking your head as you tried to focus.

16. WON'T DO IT AGAIN

DAY: SEVENTY-EIGHT

Bellamy didn't act any different to how he usually did, despite the kiss the night before, which meant that you had tried doing the same. But that wasn't an easy thing to do when all you could think about was the kiss—albeit a brief one. You went looking for him, and found him in the Base of Operations, alone, sitting by one of the tables at the back, cleaning his weapon. Bellamy turned his head when he heard the door open and smiled lightly when he saw you appear from the walkway. Once you were in his sight, he turned back to face his gun, taking it apart to clean properly before he began to put some parts back together again. You could feel your chest tighten, not entirely sure how you should phrase what you had to say, or how to even start saying what it was that you had to say, but, thankfully, Bellamy spoke first, clearly confused as to why you were just staring at him.

"You need something?"

"No… Yeah. Yeah, I need to ask you about something, about last night."

"What about last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what? I have no idea what you're talking about." Bellamy stopped what he was doing when he finished putting his gun back together and turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow. When you didn't say anything, but, instead, continued to stare at him, it suddenly clicked. Bellamy's eyes widened and he stood up, looking down at you. "Crap," he mumbled. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing yesterday, it just seemed like something I should do, because of, you know, how close we've been getting, and the fact that we're basically the parents to some of the group—"

"It-It's fine, Bellamy. I just wanted to ask what it was about, that's all."

"Again, I'm sorry. I, uh, I won't do it again," he told you, watching as you opened your mouth quickly to say something, but you closed it again. Bellamy tilted his head slightly and seemed to catch on. He smirked and corrected himself, "Unless, of course, you want me to do it again. Do you?" Once more, he watched you say nothing and he laughed lightly to himself, looking just over your head as he processed it all. "Okay then," he finally spoke and picked up his gun, tucking it into the waistband of his trousers before he walked out of the base, leaving you to stare at the table.

17. CATCHING ON

DAY: EIGHTY-SIX

While you had been in the Base of Operations to see if there was anything in the rations inventory that needed stocking up, which would call for a small rations trip, Murphy had been keeping you company. There were two lists set out on the table: one was a list that kept track of how much of a ration there already was, while another was for any rations that needed to be collected from the trip. So far, nothing had been written down, and Murphy was getting slightly bored.

"What is it, Murphy?" You asked, not looking away from the inventory list.

"Nothing. Why would you ask that?"

"Because you keep staring at me and looking away with a huff. If you want to ask me something then ask."

"What happened between you and Bellamy?"

Looking away from the list finally, you raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he can't stop looking at you. I mean, I know he used to look at you a lot before, but now it just seems to be happening all the time. Not to mention the fact he seems to be more distracted. Mitch had been talking to him the other day but couldn't seem to keep Bellamy's attention on himself, in the end, he just had to walk away and ask Wyatt. It's been happening for eight days now."

You could feel a heat rush to your face as you stuttered a reply, "Oh, well, I, uh, I don't—"

Murphy seemed to catch on and he let out a laugh. "Are you kidding me? Great, now you're going to spend all your time with him and I'm going to be left hanging out with Fabian," he joked. "Despite the fact that I don't like Bellamy, I'm happy for the two of you… I think."

"Thanks?"

"I guess my job here is done."

"But you didn't do anything," you argued back before watching him shrug.

"Mmm, that you know of."

18. ASKING

DAY: ONE HUNDRED

Two weeks had passed, and Murphy only complained for the first four days since he had found out—which felt like forty. You were back in the basement, but you were in the supply closet, looking for some plasters since Lewis had fallen over and cut his knee. The door had opened and you saw Bellamy step inside, quickly closing the door behind himself.

"I was looking for you," he commented as he stepped closer.

"Why? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" You asked, worriedly.

Bellamy shook his head and quickly took hold of your arm as you tried making your way around him to leave the supply closet, to check up on everyone and make sure everything was okay. As you turned to face him, to ask what he was doing, he pressed his lips against yours, placing his hands on your hips to keep you from moving. When he slowly pulled away from you, he smiled lightly and spoke in a quiet voice, "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"If you're my girlfriend now? You know, because we haven't actually made it official… I'm not entirely sure what we are."

Looking down with a smile as you felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, you looked back up and replied, "Well, you haven't actually asked me yet."

Bellamy grinned and nodded back. "Will you be my girlfriend, then?"

"Yes," you answered, placing your hands on his cheeks to pull him back into a kiss.

#bellamy blake #The 100 #bellamy blake au #the 100 au #au

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