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whocalledhimannux · 3 years

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@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

#queen's thief #attolia irene #kamet #costis ormentiedes #sophos #eugenides #teleus #eddis helen #laela #oh dear I bet her tag is virtually unsearchable #sorry laela

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cherylblossomfashionanaylsis · 4 years

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1x05 Chapter Five: Heart of Darkness

Hello and welcome back! Hope you’re all ready to talk Cheryl and fashion cause I am! We’ve got a lot of outfits in this episode so grab some coffee and enjoy.

We start with this haunting scene where Cheryl looks rather creepy and our first candelabra appearance (do we need a count? lmao). Candles and fire are a definite Cheryl motif obviously relating to red and cheryl’s fierceness and strength.

Here’s a closer look, her makeup is very dark in this scene, which definitely tells us it is a dream. Her only accessory is her candelabra with this gorgeous red gown, somewhere in between a ball gown and a night gown (something we see Cheryl in often, this weird hybrid dress).

Here’s another look at the outfit from the costume designer- Rebekka’s instagram (@7sistersnorway), who is amazing! Cheryl is wearing her black fluffy heeled sandals that she’ll wear later in the episode.

And she wakes up! Into another pajama outfit. This one is mostly all black, an obvious connection to her dreaming about Jason and being in his room. It’s all black minus her giant red heart & cherry? brooch. I don’t love this one, it’s so big! But Cheryl is dramatic and it almost seems a symbol of a broken heart which is relevant. She’s also wearing black crystal stud earrings and a black choker.

This is the full outfit, it’s gorgeous and sexy and dramatic. Perfect Cheryl. She has on her black floral velvet robe that she wears throughout the show and a black nightgown maybe with lace trims. She also has on those black fluffy heeled sandals again. Those are like literally my dream ‘float around the house in silky robes’ shoes. Love.

No pajamas this time! But instead this GORGEOUS short sleeve black tight dress with a burgundy 3D flower collar. So yummy, so Cheryl. I’m obsessed with this dress. She’s paired it with a black belt that appears to have gold lining and a gold buckle. She also has a black crossbody which I believe is the backpack she wore in the pilot turned to the purse form. It’s definitely confirmed to be cold as she is wearing tights and adorable burgundy velvet ankle sock booties, super cute and the perfect shoe for this outfit.

Here are more close ups of the outfit and you can see how well all of the pieces work together. Her other accessories are pink bow earrings and a gold double layered bangle bracelet. The purse looks like it has a purple/burgundy lining on the strap which is really nice and ties in well. This is one of those episodes where Cheryl wears lots of black and dark tones. She is in mourning again as Jason’s funeral is coming up.

A closer look at her adorable earrings that scream Betty to me but alas, they’re very cute. Also you can see the amazing and gorgeous detail of that collar.

She only briefly wears this outfit but WOW. She looks so amazing! This dark green color is literally perfect on her and coincides with her other dark clothing of the episode. I love that when they put in her other colors it tends to be jewel tones to keep the theming going. It’s fantastic. The dress has lace at the top and a high neck. She has added a black belt and this circle brooch with gold and ruby. Her earrings appear to be black ball shaped ones similar in shape to ones she wore in 1x04.

I find this scene to be kind of funny. She seems to be wearing a low cut t-shirt dress in a black or dark green color. But, it just feels casual for an intense family dinner at the Blossom household. Nonetheless, it’s super cute and different for Cheryl! I like. She is wearing the same brooch she had on with the emerald green dress so we get a better look at it. Her earrings are black crystal studs.

I love the sleeves on the dress as you can see her, they’re so interesting. It’s hard to see but she has on a bracelet and her criss cross ring as well. Not much more to say other than she is continuing the dark toned theme.

And back to pajamas! Similar to the all black one but different and cute. She has on the same kimono but we can see more detail of it here. This time she has paired it with a silky deep red lace trimmed nightgown. So glam. She also has on the same black choker. I hope she doesn’t sleep in this choker cause that sounds uncomfortable af but to each their own.

She has on the black crystal ear jackets she’s worn before. I love that she has worn almost everything in this outfit before, nice realism! She is still wearing heavy black and dark colors but her red is getting a little bit brighter, maybe because she has someone like Veronica by her side.

She has on the fluffy heels again, yay! The perfect end to this perfect outfit.

This is what Cheryl was originally going to wear to Jason’s funeral, complete with the black fishnet veil/headband she wore in 1x02. I, um, don’t really know what’s going on with that dress but I’m kinda glad she didn’t wear it. Haha. Anyways, she has on black crystal stud earrings, a ring, and this nice black bracelet. And Veronica by her side being a lovely friend. No need to explain symbolism, it’s a funeral after all.

And yeah! What she actually wore to the funeral. I don’t need to remind you all the significance of this dress and it’s connection to Jason. This moment was iconic and very Cheryl. I feel like her biggest most iconic moments seem to be paired with all white outfits (aka burning down her house, we’ll get back to that later).

I love the addition of the white fishnet veil/headband that seems to be the same or very similar to the black one.

Here you can really see the detail of the fabric of the dress, so lovely. I love the innocence she portrays in this dress and the stark contrast from her evil mother in this picture.

The final outfit. She’s got her armor back on, aka her ribbed leather jacket. She also is wearing her red spider brooch and crystal ear jackets. I’m not 100% sure about her outfit but it possibly a dark red maxi dress, it’s really hard to tell.

Lastly, she has on her gold open choker that I associate as her armor as well. It’s perfect for this scene as she realizes she needs to protect herself from the rest of her family. She lost her person and is now alone.

Outfit Total: 9! (Including the white again as it is a different occasion).

Brooch Count: 1 large heart/cherry thing. 2 gold/ruby circle. 1 red spider. So 4 in total!

Favorite Outfit: Ahhhh I think it’s a tie between the 3D flower dress and the dark green lace dress.

#cheryl #cherylblossom #choni #riverdale #riverdalestyle #riverdalefashion #1x05 #s1

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