#livy being scared hes never gonna get over it makes my stomach churn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellanainthetardis · 6 years

Photo

Second part of that meaaaaan cliffhanger ;) I hope you like it! Let me know!

[FF] or [ao3]

45. 13 Weeks (2)

Haymitch perused the summary of another paperback, wondering why thrillers always had to be so corny. He wanted a good mystery, a puzzle he could solve, not something unbelievably outlandish. But that was Capitol fiction for you, he figured.

He added the novel to the pile and moved on to the children section of the bookshop, dutifully followed by Snowball. The dog was panting, having exhausted himself running wild in the meadow earlier, and Haymitch decided he would stop by the bakery and ask Peeta for a bowl of water. With all that fur the heat was getting to the poor thing.

He picked a few colorful books a bit at random as he usually did. He liked reading stories to April at night. And, while she didn’t understand a word, she always fell asleep to the regular rhythm of his voice. It was never too early to instill a love for books in his opinion and he wanted his daughter to have a taste for it.

The teenager minding the cash register smiled at him when he placed his purchases in front of her. She worked there part time, liked chewing gum a lot and was very clumsy but Haymitch had developed a liking for her. She was always quiet and he appreciated that in people. Besides, he was a regular customer.

He was fishing around his pocket for his wallet when he heard the commotion outside through the closed doors of the shop. Snowball immediately started barking, growling… Haymitch frowned but took the time to pay and grab the bag the girl handed him before going to check what was going on, not really worried. Twelve was a quiet District but brawls happened.

The screams were definitely female though. And terrified.

Snowball shot down the street like a cannonball, his sparkly blue collar gleaming under the sun. Haymitch jogged after him, following the quickly forming crowd.

The screams had stopped by the time he arrived at the coffee shop but his heart missed a beat when he realized what was happening. He pushed through the mass of people, shoving the men with his shoulder when they were too slow to step aside and he glared at Liam Clarke and Tadius’ foreman who were struggling to hold Peeta back.

“The fuck’s going on?” he growled. Snowball crouched low and growled at one of the workers who was, for some mysterious reason, sprawled on the ground. Well, not so mysterious given his beaten face and Peeta’s obvious rage. “Boy.”

It had been months since Peeta had had an episode. He didn’t know what had triggered it but whatever the worker had done, the stranger was not being a problem now. Haymitch’s very big, very scary dog ensured that. The man was staring at Snowball and staying perfectly still, probably unwilling to give the Samoyed any reason to attack.

That suited Haymitch just fine for now.

“Move along! Nothing to see!” he barked at the crowd. Some of the women huffed and he rolled his eyes at them. It was probably one of them who had screamed themselves hoarse at the excess of violence. Eileen Clarke was clutching both her daughters to her chest, looking very pale, clearly shocked. He ignored her for now, framing the boy’s face in his strong hands and forcing him to look straight at him. “Peeta. Calm down.”

Peeta was breathing hard, like an enraged animal. His blue eyes were glassy. He was red in the face… All signs of a classic episode. It took almost a full minute before the kid managed to focus on him and stopped struggling against the hands that were holding him back. Once he was sure he had his attention, Haymitch let go of one cheek to squeeze his shoulder.

“Your name is Peeta Mellark. You’re in Twelve. The war is over. You’re safe.” he said slowly. “You own a bakery. You like painting in the evenings. You…”

“Haymitch.” Peeta cut him off, sounding impatient but not as disoriented as he had expected.

“Yeah.” he frowned. “Good boy. Take it easy now. You had an episode and…”

“He’s one of them. Real or not real? He’s one of them.” the kid shook his head. “Real. Real. Real!”

And he was back to struggling against the men holding him while Haymitch glanced at the injured man on the ground.

“One of what?” he asked, a dangerous hint in his voice. Snowball growled louder in answer, obviously only waiting for his order to attack. That was… odd. The dog was only that threatening when… “Who the fuck are you?”

The man looked ordinary. Brown eyes, one swollen shut, heap of equally brown hair, big nose… The rest of his crew was rallying behind him, hesitating…

“Look…” the workman said. “I didn’t mean any trouble. I didn’t think… I didn’t think I’d run into them, okay? I…”

“Them.” he repeated, his stomach churning. “Someone tells me what’s going on and very fast.”

Clearly, people still remembered it was best to be far away when he was in one of those moods because half the remaining onlookers left in a hurry.

“Effie and I were just walking…” Eileen said suddenly, sounding distressed. “I… I don’t know what happened, Haymitch, she just started… She was hysterical.”

“Where’s she?” he asked immediately, his eyes only now falling on the abandoned empty pram.

“She ran.” Liam offered quietly. “We tried to hold her back but she… She took off with the baby. I told them to let her go I was scared she would hurt herself or April. She wasn’t responding well to people trying to catch her. And Peeta…”

“The kid just jumped on Al.” the foreman – Smoth, if Haymitch remembered right – complained. “Look, I know the woman’s the boss’ daughter but… Al didn’t do a thing. I swear. All my guys can swear. He didn’t do a thing. They both went crazy.”

“You don’t call my wife or my kid crazy if you don’t want to end like your guy.” Haymitch warned, his hands bundling into fists. His grey eyes traveled back to the boy. He was worried sick about Effie and April. Worried sick. But he needed to understand. He needed to know what had triggered both her and the boy. “You got yourself under control?” Peeta gave him a very shaky nod that Haymitch rewarded with a squeeze of his shoulder. “Tell me.”

“He’s one of them.” the boy snarled with unabashed hatred.

And Haymitch finally realized what he meant.

He let go of the boy and marched on the former Peacekeeper as if in a daze. The stranger scrambled back but he didn’t go far. Before he had moved a feet, Snowball had pounced, putting all his weight on the man’s chest, his jaws very close to catching his throat.

“You hurt my family?” he sneered, his hand automatically coming to rest on the handle of his knife.

“I didn’t… I didn’t have a choice!” the man – kid, really, he couldn’t be much older than Peeta – stuttered. “You don’t understand! It was my job! I…”

He roared with anger, his mind flashing back to the last time he had found himself face to face with a man who had purposeful hurt the ones he loved… He had killed then and he would kill now.

Or he would have if Eileen hadn’t foolishly placed herself on his path, baby in her arms and little girl pressed tight to her leg. It probably was a testament to the trust the woman had in his wife that she didn’t doubt for one second he would stop.

“I don’t know what’s going on but that’s really not going to help.” she said quickly.

“You step aside.” he hissed. “You’ve got no clue…”

“No, I don’t.” she cut him off. “But Effie was upset and she ran off with your daughter. Maybe you should make that the priority right now.” And she was right, of course. Very much right. She let go of Livy to press his arm. “He didn’t attack them. He really didn’t.”

“You don’t know what he’s done.” he spat with a last dark look for the guy. “Snowball, down. Down.” The dog was reluctant to let go, as if sensing just what the man was guilty of. Once he was sure the Samoyed wasn’t about to rip his throat out, Haymitch turned back to Peeta. “You can go home by yourself?”

The boy was still staring at the former Peacekeeper over his shoulder but he gave him a nod. “He needs to leave. Next time… He needs to leave.”

“Oh, he’s gonna leave alright.” Haymitch promised. “Someone takes him to the Peacekeepers station. I’m not done with him.” His order was thrown at no one in particular but Liam immediately agreed. The foreman tried to protest, to argue Al was a nice guy and a good worker, that Tadius Trinket didn’t do business like that, but one glare was enough to reduce the man to silence. “Where did Effie go?”

Eileen pointed in a vague direction but otherwise shrugged helplessly. She looked worried though. “She must have gone home, right? Where else would she go…”

Not home.

Not if she had snapped.

Not if she was having a flashback.

“Check the house.” he told the boy. “She’s not there, you stay home and wait, alright?”Peeta probably saw clear through that pretence but agreed and immediately left in the direction of the Village on unsteady legs. Haymitch, for his part, snatched April’s forgotten ragdoll from the pram and held it out for Snowball to sniff. “Find them. Be a good dog, you find your mama and April…”

“I’ll check around town.” Liam offered.

Haymitch barely listened, Snowball had dashed and he ran after him, hoping the dog had gotten the drift. He had never trained him to do that.

He found her abandoned heels at the end of the street. He picked them up in a reflex but didn’t stop to consider further. The dog was quick and it was difficult to keep up. His heart was pounding, he was out of breath and the headache he had had so much troubles chasing away that morning came back with a vengeance.

He paused and bent in two to catch a breath when Snowball darted to the woods, uncertain. Would she have run to the woods or was it just the dog’s whim? Huge flashbacks usually made her look for a safe confined place. It was paradoxical given how claustrophobic the war had made her but, in those instances, she sought something small that would remind her of her cell. Not the outdoors. Certainly not the outdoors.

Snowball came back on his steps when he didn’t follow and barked in rebuke. The dog was agitated, dashing back through the bushes and coming back to him, almost snipping at his calves to make him move. He stopped wavering and followed.

He heard April from far away. His daughter had inherited her mother’s powerful set of lungs.

He breathed in relief at the baby’s cries. It hadn’t even occurred to him Effie might hurt their child but accidents happened, all the more so when you weren’t in control of yourself.

Snowball’s barking became joyful and Haymitch ran faster and shot past two bushes to find them huddled against the trunk of a tree, a little off the trail. She had gone deep into the woods for someone who didn’t have shoes.

“Effie?” he called softly. She was protectively curled up around their baby, her face pressed to the crook of their daughter’s neck… Her leg was bleeding, there was a long gash along her shin… “Sweetheart…”

She was unresponsive to Snowball’s comforting licking of her arm and face but when he crouched in front of her she flinched.

“Don’t hurt her, please…” she whispered frantically. “I’ll do anything… I’ll do anything… I beg you… I beg you…”

April. That was why she had gone to the woods. She had instinctively looked out for a way to flee, to protect their baby.

“Nobody’s hurting the shrimp.” he said slowly. “I won’t let them. You know that, yeah? Princess… I won’t let them hurt you either. You know that too. That Peacekeeper’s gone. I’ll make him go. It’s gonna be fine. All fine.” She shook her head and curled up in an even tighter ball. He was afraid she would crush the baby. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna hurt April if you squeeze her like that… You don’t want to hurt April, yeah?”

He slowly reached out to caress their daughter’s soft blond curls, hoping to soothe the baby a little. If she stopped crying, Effie might relax. The wailing was part of the delirium now and it would be hard to snap Effie out of it, he could tell. As far as PTSD attacks went, this was a bad one.

“Please, don’t hurt her…” she repeated again, not even having heard him. “I’ll do whatever you want… I’ll let you do whatever you want to me… I won’t fight… I won’t… I’ll tell you what you want to know… Yes… Yes, I will tell you all I know… Just don’t hurt her… Don’t hurt my daughter… Don’t…”

“Alright.” he said, switching tactics and hating himself for it. But April came first. Always. “Alright. I won’t hurt her if you tell me what you know. But you need to give her to me. You give her to me and she stays safe. You hold on to her, she gets hurt…”

Effie’s tears were killing him but after a moment of hesitation and desperate kisses pressed to April’s head, she gave in.

“Forgive me… Please, forgive me… I love you… I love you so much…” she breathed against the baby’s skin.

She uncurled a little and Haymitch seized the opportunity to snatch the child she was reluctant to surrender. He moved back a little, just out of reach, to check April over. She didn’t look worse for the wear, just terribly upset by the ordeal. He rocked her gently, pressing kisses of his own against her wet cheeks. Relief was so earth-shattering he sat down.

“It’s okay, shrimp.” he murmured. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” He looked up at Effie as he kissed their daughter’s head but she was catatonic, staring into space… Snowball had taken advantage of the sudden empty space in her arms to wriggle his way there. The dog was licking her face again, whining, trying to make her react. Haymitch hummed the familiar lullaby until April settled down. “There you go, sweetheart… We’re gonna go home… You just nap for a little while, yeah?”

April needed some water. It was hot and she had cried a lot, he didn’t want her to get dehydrated. However, that presented him with a conundrum. He couldn’t carry both the baby and his wife.

“Effie, sweetheart…” he called.

She didn’t respond in any way.

He could leave her with Snowball, carry April home, leave her with Peeta and come back to fetch Effie. But with Peeta’s own episode so recent… No, that wasn’t an option and he didn’t want to let go of April, not even for a few minutes. They would have to make do.

He carefully moved closer to Effie. She didn’t even flinch this time. She was deep in her own mind now. Out of reach.

Her hair had fallen out of whatever hairstyle she had worn that day. He brushed the wayward strands away from her face. “Effie, I need you to come back to me.” Her blink was the only indication that she had even heard. “April needs you… Can you tell me who I am?” She closed her eyes and stubbornly pressed her cheek against the bark of the tree. “None of that.” he chided her. “Come on, sweetheart. You can do it. I know you can. ‘Cause the shrimp needs you right now. You remember the shrimp, yeah? You remember our daughter.” The more he talked, the more she relaxed. She was matching her breathing to his, he realized, and that was good. That meant she was trying to break through. He just needed to ground her. “What’s her name? What’s our daughter’s name, Effie?”

“April.” she whispered, almost too soft to be heard.

“Very good.” he praised, adjusting his hold on the fussing baby in his arms. April wasn’t a happy camper right now. “How old is she?” Effie knocked her head against the trunk. She drew back to do it again but he wedged his free hand between her and the tree so her cheek landed against his palm instead. “You don’t need pain to ground you. Just follow my voice, sweetheart. Focus on me. How old is April?”

“Three…” she muttered eventually. “Three months.”

“Three months, yeah.” he confirmed “You’ve got a three months daughter so when are we?”

“Now.” she said, a little more firmly.

Now was a good answer. Now was in opposition to then. Then was bad, very bad.

“Where are you?” he prompted.

“Twelve.” she breathed out. “With you. Safe.” Her face crumpled. “Not safe. Not safe. They’re here. They’re...”

“It was just the one and he’s being dealt with.” he cut her off. “He won’t come near you again. I promise.”

“Not safe.” she insisted, leaning in to press her forehead against his shoulder. “Need to keep the baby safe.”

“And you did.” he swore, dropping a kiss on each of his girls’ heads. “You did very well. But now I found the two of you and you’re both safe again, alright? So we need to go home ‘cause Peeta’s waiting there all by himself. You don’t want the boy to be all by himself when he’s upset, yeah?”

She shook her head. “We need to protect Peeta.”

“Yeah.” he agreed, feeling guilty about manipulating her like that. Need must, though. The priority was to get them home. “So I’m gonna need you to stand up and walk with me. You can do that for me, sweetheart? For the kids?”

She was hesitant when she nodded but he managed to put her shoes back on and help her up. She stood there for a second, a hand on the tree to steady herself, clearly dizzy… Her eyes were still lost in the distance, her mind wasn’t all quite there yet… He made sure April was secure in his right arm and he wrapped his left one around Effie’s waist, instructing her to lean on him.

They had only made four steps when she bent in two and threw up. On both of them. He made a face but waited until the heaving had stopped to nudge her to walk again.

She was sick three times on the way home. It was a nightmare. She was all weak and shaky against his chest and he ended up carrying her more than supporting her, an impossible feat with April in his other arm.

He was relieved when Peeta met him at the Village’s Gates. The boy looked himself enough that Haymitch entrusted April to him before scooping Effie up in his arms. They were back at the house in a matter of minutes.

The first thing he did was place Effie down on the couch to fix a bottle for April. Peeta told him he could handle feeding her. Haymitch was reluctant but the boy appeared confident and he trusted the kid to know his limits and not endanger his daughter. Still, he took a second to curse Katniss’ ill-timed absence. Four was a good number. There usually was always two people who remained sane enough to take care of the other ones. Three wasn’t good at all.

“You shout the moment you feel control slip.” he warned the boy. “I’m serious, Peeta.”

“I know.” the kid answered. “I’m good for now, I promise. Take care of her and… Just take care of her. It was her screams, I… I would have handled it better if she hadn’t screamed like that… It was… It was like being back there. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to… I was back there.”

“It’s okay, boy.” Haymitch sighed. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Effie didn’t so much as protest when he scooped her up again. She was a limp doll in his hands and she remained so even when he undressed her and made her sit in the bathtub so he could clean her up. The gash on her leg was deep enough that he considered calling Larcher but it had stopped bleeding and, in the end, he simply bandaged it. Her soles were hurt and he spent a long time cleaning all the small scratches.

Shaking hands reached for the tap while he was working on her left foot. “Bath.” was all she said. He ran her a bath, making sure the water wasn’t too hot given that she was already in the tub, and tossed enough of her sweet smelling products in there to make himself disgusted with the smell. It was strong and that was the point though. Anything that didn’t smell like rot or sickness. He also made sure she would keep her right leg out of the tub not to wet the bandage before seeing to himself.

He tossed his soiled shoes and pants out of the bathroom, knowing she didn’t need that smell and quickly rinsed his feet and legs in the shower.

He glanced at the tub. She was calm for now, coming back to her senses… He risked a quick trip downstairs so he could dispatch the dirty clothes to the washing-machine and check on April. Peeta had placed her on her playing mat and was busy making the toys dangling from the plastic arcs cling together to get her attention. The baby was obviously tired, letting out small whiny noises and sucking hard on her pacifier, but she still reached out for the noisy things. The boy assured him they were alright and they seemed alright – plus, Snowball was lying on the couch, peering down at them, so Haymitch relaxed on that front.

Effie didn’t seem to have moved since he had left but her eyes tracked him when he came closer to the bathtub and she didn’t protest when he lifted her up.

“My stomach hurts.” she whispered once he had toweled her dry and carried her back to the bed. Her voice sounded hoarse and he made a mental note to check what they had in term of tisanes that could help soothe that.

“Hurt how?” he frowned, opening the chest of drawers for some comfortable clothes. He came up with one of his old shirts she had long stolen and a pair of sweatpants with golden crowns he had bought her as a joke in Four.

“Like that night.” she answered tiredly.

“Care to be any more cryptic?” he mocked. His nerves were frayed, his hands were shaking and he was sure the moment nobody needed him anymore he would crash and have a panic attack of his own.

She let him slip his shirt over her head, helpfully lifting her arms for him like a child, apparently searching for the right words. It was good. The episode had been bad and it always took time to rail back from it but she was coming back.

“The night I bled so much…” she clarified eventually.

He did a double take, the ridiculous sweatpants clutched in his hand. She didn’t seem in pain, certainly not as much as she had been that night… But it was always hard to say when she was in that state. She didn’t feel things the normal way. Sometimes she felt phantom pain, stuff that had happened long ago just as if it was fresh, and sometimes real pain was impossible to detach from the dream-like quality of the flashback.

He only hesitated a second before checking between her legs though. There was nothing he hadn’t stared at before, nothing he hadn’t touched or licked.

“You’re not bleeding.” he promised, pressing a quick chaste kiss against her inner thigh before slipping the sweatpants up her legs. “And you’re not pregnant anyway so… You got really upset, sweetheart… It’s probably just that.” It might not even be real, the pain she was feeling. She had been worried about April… It might have made memories of that night come back, that was all. And she had been sick earlier. She might be confused. “You want me to call the doctor, just in case?”

She shook her head and crawled up the bed, until she had her head on her pillow. “Can I sleep for a while?”

“Sure, sweetheart…” He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair back. She met his eyes with an exhausted gaze and he forced himself to smirk. “You’re gonna feel better after you slept. Clear head and all.”

She forced a smile of her own but it was sad and a bit lost, as if she wasn’t certain at all what was going on.

“I love you.” she mumbled.

“Still wondering why, I bet.” he teased, leaning down to peck her lips.

He waited until she had drifted off to walk back downstairs, a plan forming in his head.

It started with a phone call to Plutarch…

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #april showers

19 notes · View notes