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themurphyzone · 6 years

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Ficlet: The Tumultuous Time Traveling Driving Test Waltz

Even though it’s not a test or a waltz lol.

For all of society’s advances, 2175 still hadn’t figured out how to make it safer for all parties involved when it came to a teenager learning to drive. Even the best and most expensive flying vehicles could be destroyed by a rookie’s mistake.

And that wasn’t even getting into the added dangers of navigating the timestream. There were just so many variables.

One could potentially be ejected from the vehicle and left to float in space-time forever. There was a possibility of running out of time juice, taking a wrong turn and winding up in the Byzantine Empire, or temporal highwaymen waiting in the depths to rob unsuspecting drivers....

When all of those factors were taken into account, snatching control of the steering wheel from Milo was the most logical course of action. Milo’s concentration broke when Cavendish jerked the wheel to the right, forcing the vehicle to swerve wildly to the side.

“Eyes on the road,” Cavendish said sternly when he noticed Milo staring at him. His fingers were slowly turning white against the seat belt.

“It’s more like a green swirl than a road,” Milo admitted, quickly returning his attention to the outside of the vehicle. “I guess lanes aren’t a thing here.”

“Perks of time travel. We don’t have rush hour,” Dakota supplied from the back seat. “Or traffic lights.”

Cavendish bit his lip to keep himself from yelling at Dakota in front of Milo. How could he be so calm? They were driving in the timestream with a Murphy for crying out loud!

“Maybe we should pull over,” Cavendish suggested, tugging at his collar as Milo turned left a few seconds early. Several clocks bounced against the windshield, causing the right wiper to break off and drift into the void. “Is the time juice too low? I think it’s too low. The antennae could be crooked. You always need to check that before you step into a time vehicle. Not to mention the broken rear view mirror, the radio that only plays stuff from the Christmas music station, can you even see out the window? I don’t think you have a good vantage point.”

“Whoa. Whoa. Hey, you’d better come into the backseat. Trust me, it’ll feel like a smoother ride back here,” Dakota said, patting the open seat next to him encouragingly. “Don’t worry about us, kid. You’re a natural. Oh, and be sure to set the dial to 21st century. You always want to be sure you’re headed to the right time.”

Milo nodded. “I’ll keep my eye on it! I have plenty of spare tires in my backpack too. And carjacks are pretty good for lifting anything heavy.”

“Great. I don’t need to lecture you on basic car safety or preparations and all that boring stuff,” Dakota said. “You’ve got all it down.”

Cavendish unbuckled his seat belt, clutching the headrest for support as he moved towards the back. As Milo drove them over a bumpy stretch of swirls, his head slammed against the roof of the vehicle, causing him to stumble into Dakota’s stomach with a pained groan.

“Comfortable yet?” Dakota asked. He grinned, leaning against the side casually.

With some effort, Cavendish managed to haul himself onto the backseat. “I will never be comfortable in this sorry excuse of a time vehicle,” he muttered.

Dakota’s stomach was a far better headrest anyway.

“Don’t worry, kid. He’s fine,” Dakota called to Milo. “Just give him a while and he’ll calm down.”

“That’s good!” Milo exclaimed. “You know, there was this one time where my dad was driving down the highway and then this ginormous swarm of locusts ate all the grass on the sides and blocked all visibility so-”

“And no anecdotes about accidents when you’re driving! Have you even double-checked the dial so we're going to the right century?”

“Maybe not,” Dakota said.

#milo murphy's law #vinnie dakota #balthazar cavendish #ficlet #fanfiction

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