#luke pearce cured me so true | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

actualbird · 10 months

Note

luke illness hc anon here from a while back hfjsjd-

first of all, YAY FOR MORE DEPICTIONS OF LUKE'S ILLNESS!!! secondly, ngl when he started losing his strength on his right arm i most definately went "CALLED IT!!!" but as a luke pearce stan i want to Cry.

// spoilers for tot main story 9

i assume these are two different anons, but i'll answer them both in one go since theyre talking about the same main topic and referencing the same past post!!

@ anon 1: oooooOOHH WAIT R U THE ANON who asked me this question months back for headcanon's on luke's illness? if yes, hi again! and RIGHT RIGHT YESSSS MORE INFORMATION AND ESCALATING SYMPTOMS AND U TOTES CALLED IT. i love it, it's a double edged sword of enjoyment cuz on one hand im so satisfied seeing a progression of his illness finally after it being in limbo for the longest time but...

on the other hand....

.....yeah i wanna cry too KJVAJFHVSKFAKFS

the arm thing was such a nice detail. nerve damage does a Lot and it was very satisfying to see it escalate from pain episodes (i.e. nerves firing the wrong kinda signals) to an entire limb's momentary loss of sensation/motor skills (i.e. nerves just....NOT firing signals at all for a moment)

i mentioned in that previous linked ask that ive also got a neuro condition (not severe just annoying), so more symptoms i'd like to see (or if it doesnt happen in canon, fun for fanfic to play around with) from luke's illness progression would be the following: involuntary movement (i.e. nerves firing the wrong kinda signals but in the motor skills department), nerve issues in other extremities (ive had involuntary movement issues hit one of my legs while sitting and i just spasm'd outta my seat), and nerve problems exacerbated by stress (also common for me, the more freaked i am the more common a bunch of these get....sORRY I REALIZE IM JUST OFFLOADING ALL MY OWN SYMPTOMS ONTO LUKE AHAHAHAA), and troubles with finer motor skills (use of fingers, hands, wrists. luke handles weapons often....whatd happen if his grip strength went awry when hes holding a knife? a gun? many thoughts)

the nervous system is weird and complicated. seeing this new neurodegenerative symptom from luke feels very much like the beginning of more to come. also, luke needs a hug. he needs so many hugs. and more medical treatment thats not just "the strong pill [painkiller]" that luke called aaron for in that one scene, LUKE PLEASE JHDVJFHSD. OTL

@ anon 2: IT'S SO NOT A BAD THING AT ALL IM ALSO RLLY GLAD TO SEE THIS, as i write in the first portion of this response. like, it's not that we Want to see luke in pain and fearing his illness getting worse and worse, it's that the illness has been here since the beginning and it is beyond satisfying to see it no longer be something static, for it to change and affect the story, affect luke's character and how he interacts with others.....

i also totally dont want him magically cured JHVDFJSDVFK like, with how much Worse it's gotten, his recovery has to take into account how hard the journey has been thus far, both narratively and medically. i uh. um. [VERY VERY VAGUE SPOILERS FOR CN SERVER AHEAD but] i saw a spoiler from future main story 12 that definitely shows that luke is not magically cured at that point and is getting worse

so, HELL YEAH, BIG WIN FOR PEOPLE WHO WANNA SEE THIS PROGRESS!! but also //loud sobbing

huge HUGE agree that luke's illness and chronic symptoms are nice to see from a representation perspective. when the arm thing happened while i was playing i was first like "OMG WE'RE TWINNING!!!" and then i was like "OH NO" jashfvKJHVKJHK

my hopes for luke's illness eventually becoming a have-to-longterm-manage-this-for-the-rest-of-his-life-but-it-wont-kill-him chronic condition is still very true. it's something i have a lot of feelings about

//holds luke gently....

#get this man some damn anticonvulsant medication MY GOSH!!!!!!#asks #anon #tot spoilers

13 notes · View notes

actualbird · 3 years

Text

// general spoilers for luke’s story

a luke pearce character analysis (again): he’s an enneagram type 2 with a twist

let me preface this with the disclaimer that all kinds of personality typology should be taken with a grain of salt because all humans are multifaceted and different and theres no true way to categorize every single one of them. however, it is immense fun to slap some labels onto characters in an effort to understand them more. additionally, this is all just my own personal interpretation and opinion and should in no way be taken as the word of god.

with that outta the way, ive had luke pearce down as an enneagram type 2 ever since the beginning. mostly because my litmus test for how to choose an enneagram type for a character is to listen to every single one of Sleeping At Last’s enneagram songs and seeing which clicks the most, and man. Two by Sleeping At Last is the most luke pearce song out there. just look at the lyrics

Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you with every single thing I have Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess Or calm waters, if that serves you best I will love you without any strings attached

It's okay if you can't catch your breath You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too

I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself

which is just yeah, thats him!!!

but upon further reading, i got even more interested. type twos, according to the Enneagram Institute website, are described “empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing.” i agreed, this fit with how i see luke. and then i read that this description stems from twos’ basic desire: to be loved.

which immediately made me tilt my head and go hmm...thats not quite right, for luke.

because yes, luke does show his desire to be loved, but if i had to word it differently according to my own interpretation of him, i would put it this way instead: luke’s basic desire is to be good.

i think this because to be “loved” implies some kind of want from another, but luke seems to do things regardless of what he gets in return. love is a great huge plus, but it seems he is happy contribute in positive ways no matter what.

this changes some things, about the typical description of type twos, especially concerning how twos become when they veer into the unhealthy territory. unhealthy twos have the tendency to want to oppressively establish themselves more in other peoples lives, to make themselves be important and needed. they want to be loved, and so they have to be there.

when luke is at his lowest though, when he’s hopeless and resigned, he does not focus on his presence. instead, he focuses on his absence.

in the end of luke’s ep1 character story, luke writes the following lines in his diary:

from this, it’s clear to see why he’s thinking about his absence. due to his terminal (for now, mhy, im begging you to give this dude a cure, PLEASE) illness giving him a limited lifespan, he’s come to the conclusion that the inevitable heartbreak he will cause overrules whatever he can do with the time he has left remaining. presence can cause being loved, but thats not luke’s core desire. he wants to be good, and, when he’s at his lowest, he thinks that his absence can do a better good than his presence.

this causes a domino effect of luke pearce bad coping mechanisms, most interesting to me being his 1) desire to hide (which includes dishonesty and secrecy, which is just rich from luke “tell me everything, dont keep things from me!” pearce, talk about a hypocrite) and 2) desire to leave

luke is middling in terms of the healthiness scale of being a two, in my opinion. his greatest challenge, emotionally, will be to go against those bad habits he has. to be honest. to stay.

he may not realize it yet, but those two things can do much more good than he thinks.

#the Journal For Luke Pearce Studies does not exist but i sure am writing luke chara meta as if it fuckin does #tears of themis #hc #xia yan #luke pearce

34 notes · View notes