#manhugger

[marine-indie-gal]

My own personal little spin on Dahl's group of Characters, most likely my versions of the Evil Giants (with the Exception of the Only One out of the Ten) from My Most Favorite Roald Dahl Story of all time, "The BFG". So far, with taking some inspiration from the Cosgrove Hall version, I wanted to make my Giants colorful with BFG being the only exception since he is always describe being different (which I kinda HC that maybe the Giants have Two Different Types of their own Sub-Species in their Land).

The Giants (c) Roald Dahl

#the bfg #roald dahl #roald dahl's the bfg #bfg #big friendly giant #giant #giants #fleshlumpeater #bloodbottler #bonecruncher #butcher boy #maid masher #gizzard gulper #manhugger #meatdripper #childchewer #depiction #depictions

[mask131]

BFG reimagined: Grandpa’s tales 1

[ This is a reimagining of the nine evil giants from the Roald Dahl story “The BFG”. I chose to use a system of storytelling similar to the one of The Witches, with a grandparent telling a younger child about the truth of the world. And yes I haven’t proof-read it, because I only wrote that for fun really fast between two homeworks Xp Enjoy.]

"Why can't I get out at night?"

This is the question I kept asking my parents when I was a little boy. I never wanted to go to sleep, I kept jumping on the bed, saying "I want to go out! I want to go out! It's night out there, it's going to be fun!". My parents kept telling me about how it would be dark, how there would be no one else in the streets, how danger might be lurking, how it is better to sleep at night, but all those excuses actually made me even more excited. I wanted to see the world in the dark! I wanted to be the only one out! I wanted to face the danger!

All until my grandfather told me about the Giants.

He was tucking me to bed, but young me still refused to go to sleep. "I want to go out! Why can't I go out at night?" I wailed.

"Because of the Gizzardgulper." my grandfather told me.

This answer made me stop moving. I had never heard this name before, and my parents never had told me about such things.

"What's a Gizzardgulper?"

"Not a Gizzardgulper. THE Gizzardgulper. He is named like that because when he gets tired of waiting on the roofs, he eats the birds nearby like potato chips."

This sentence was mysterious enough to earn Grandpa my entire attention.

He put himself in the nearby chair, the one my parents usually sat in to read me bedtime stories, and he told me the greatest of the bedtime stories I ever heard.

"You never heard of the nine giants?"

"I know about giants!"

"So you should know about Gizzardgulper."

"Well... maybe I do not know about THIS exact giant..." I pouted.

My grandfather had one of those sly smiles that made him look like a fox.

"There aren't too many giants in the world. Not anymore. Before they were everywhere, but most of them were killed. By Jacks and Davids and the like... now there are nine giants that are left. Nine evil giants. They live in this other country... it doesn't have any real name. We merely call it the Land of the Giant. Or the Giant Country."

"And where is it?"

"It is on our planet, that is for sure. But where? I could not tell you. It is a weird, magical and remote place, to which you travel by mysterious means, and where lights and days and nights are very different..."

"A bit like the land of Oz?"

Grandpa laughed.

"Yes! A bit like the land of Oz. But the land of the Giants is barren. Creepy. Not a place you would go live in. But this is where THEY live. The nine evil giants. They stay there only half of the time : they sleep, they play stupid games, they fight and eat their leftovers. But when they get hungry, or when there is no food left (and trust me, it happens often because they are true gluttons), they go in the lands of humans, in our countries, in Europe, in Asia, in America, in Africa. And there, they find their food."

"You said they ate people."

"They do. They eat humans. Sometimes animals. But always meat, never vegetables. Even though, for us we are just "beans". They don't see us as human beings - but as human beans."

At this point, I started to growl:

"But we would know about nine giants eating people! It would be all over the newspaper, and the army would shoot them or trap them!"

"Only a few people know about the Giants..." my grandfather whispered in a serious tone. "Many people refuse to believe in them. It is because these Giants are incredibly sneaky. They are vicious beings. They do not just walk in the world like that. They are... hunters. Yes. And like hunters, each of them has his own tactic, his own traps."

"Take Gizzardgulper, for exemple. He is a city giant. His trap, it is towns at night. Especially the big cities. He comes out at dusk, and stays in them until daybreak. He lays on the roofs, you see? At the top of the building. Usually, when people walk in the street, they do not look up. They look on the ground, to avoid stepping on some dog's... you know what, or they look around them, searching for an adress or avoiding people. They do not look up. Especially when  night falls. But if they did, they would catch a glimpse of Gizzardgulper... Only a glimpse, because he is really sneaky, very discreet. He looks a lot like a man, but also a lot like a cameleon. He has a sort of scaly-skin, and big bulging eyes. In fact, the few people who ever saw it mistook him for a gargoyle of some sort. You see, he is the smallest of the giants, so he can easily pass off as some weird statue. It does not help that he is very patient, and very silent. He can wait for hours, not moving, not saying a thing, perhaps not even breathing... waiting for his prey."

Grandpa certainly knew how to tell a story. I could imagine perfectly well the monster crawling on the roofs, the enormous gargoyle sitting on top of buildings and skyscrappers.

"But how does he eat people? He can't just take them out of the street like that!"

"But he does!" my grandfather laughed. "Oh yes! He is really fast you see? Not just fast, he has also really long arms. He can take someone right out of the street, without anyone realizing. Remember, he begins the hunt at dusk, and continues all night long. Darkness covers him. Plus, he usually hunts in large cities, with enormous streets, and big crowds even at night. And when his arm is not enough, he can still use his tongue. He has a very long and sticky tongue, like the one of a cameleon. And when THAT is not enough, he can use his neck. He can extend his neck brutally. Like Scylla... Oh, but you probably never heard of her. Let's say... like the Hammerheads, in Oz. Yes, just like that. The neck suddenly springs out, the head falls in the street, it chomps the person with its teeth, and then up it goes! All of that in a second!"

This was insanely creepy. And while it terrified me, I also adored it.

"But how can he see in the dark? Especially if he is very high!"

"Oh, do not worry about it! Gizzardgulper has extremely good eyes! Like a cat's eyes, it can see in the dark, and like hawk's eyes, he can see very clearly creatures far far away..."

I was starting to shiver.

"Then I do not want to go out in the city at night!"

"This is a wise decision!"

"In fact, I do not want to stay in the city! I want to leave!"

My grandfather looked a bit disturbed.

"You do not need to leave the city, you know! As long as you stay inside your house at night, nothing bad can happen to you... Or as long as you avoid empty streets."

"You said the Gizzardgulper only devoured in crowded streets!"

"He picks up his meals where people won't see someone going missing... which can be an overcrowded street, just like it can be an empty street... where no one will hear you scream."

"I want to go out of the city!" I shouted while jumping out of my bed. "I'll go to the countryside! There's no giant there!"

  My grandfather ran after me and put me back in my bed.

"Foolish boy! You think there is no giant in the countryside?"

"There is?" I asked, white as a sheet.

"Well... not exactly."

My grandfather put himself back in the chair.

"But there is a giant lurking near the countryside... and in forests... in isolated, green places filled with tree. It is Meatdripper. He hunts during the day, not at night, and he actually stands right in the middle of the landscape, to be seen by all!"

"But why does he do that? People would spot the giant!" I asked.

"Oh, he hopes that people spot him... But not the giant! The tree!"

"I don't understand, Grandpa."

He leaned towards me.

"Meatdripper disguises himself as a tree!"

The picture of a giant holding branches and leaves to pass off as a tree made me laugh a bit.

"This is silly!"

"But it works! His skin is the same color as bark. He has numerous arms, numerous horns and a lot of fingers, enough to look like branches. And he has on his upper body a strange green fur, that can be mistaken for leaves, or for moss! Many families were fooled by his illusion. But the moment they were all settled in below him, prepared for a nice picnic... Snap and crunch and gulp! The family would be gone!"

"I do not want to fear every tree I see!" I whined.

"Oh don't worry! You only have to be careful of the very big trees, because Meatdripper is really tall and really large, more than Gizzardgulper."

I stayed silent for a small time.

"And why is he named Meatdripper?"

"Because he likes his meat dry. So he usually lets it hang by his two biggest horns - they're like bigantlers. They stay there, under the sun, and they drip. They drip, drip, drip until the meat is all dry and ready to be chewed on."

  Now fear had mostly went out of my mind (for, as for all little boys, I tended to feel emotions very vividly, but only for a short time). I was quite seriously thinking about what Grandpa had just told me.

"So... city is dangerous because a giant waits on the roofs... but nature is also dangerous because a giant disguises himself as a tree..."

I suddenly smiled brightly.

"What about high in the mountains? There are no cities there! And no trees too! Like the Himalaya! There no tree there, just snow, and yet people live there! Isn't that the perfect place to avoid a giant?"

Grandpa shook his head.

"My boy, no place is safe from the Giants! Of course there is a giant roaming in the mountains! Especially the snowy ones. He likes all places cold and icy, because he likes frozen food. It's like ice-cream for him, only with meat. His name is... Manhugger."

I exploded in laughter.

"Manhugger? That's not an evil giant's name!"

"Oh, but it is! Because his hugs aren't really hugs, you see? He has enormous hands, and extremely big feet. And he uses them to crush people! That's what he calls "hugs"! He then puts the mess in the ice or the snow, and then licks it. A true human ice-cream!"

The story had took quite a dark turn.

"That's disgusting!"

"In fact you may have heard of him under numerous other names... The Bigfoot. The Yeti. The Sasquatch. The Abominable Snowman. This is the Manhugger. He looks like a sort of ape, or gorilla. A bit like King-Kong... and with a white fur that helps him disguises himself in the snow. He is the strongest of the evil giants, a whole bunch of muscle. He has a big gut of course, all the giants do, but he also has the arms and torso of a bodybuilder! Hopefully, it seems his brain isn't that big - he is apparently the dumbest of the giants."

  "But Grandpa... isn't there any way to escape the giants? You're telling me they're everywhere in the world!"

"No, kiddo. I haven't said that. I said they COULD be anywhere. But the Giants are still individuals. They are not here all of the time, they only come here to feed and hunt. And when they are here, they stick to one place before returning to the Country of Giants. In fact, some people spent their entire life never even getting close to a Giant! The Earth is big, you know. And the Giants CAN'T be everywhere."

I nodded. Grandpa rose up from the chair and walked to the door of my bdroom.

"But aren't you going to tell me more about the Giants? You said they were nine!"

"Oh, you heard enough for now. It is late. You should go to sleep."

"But I want to hear more!"

"I'll tell you another night. I promise. But everything in its due time. You need to be able to wait, else you'll never get anything in life. Take example on the Gizzardgulper. He may eat children, but he is a very good role model for some unruly little boys."

#roald dahl #the bfg #fanfiction #rewriting #giant #evil giants #nine evil giants #the big friendly giant #the witches #meatdripper #gizzardgulper #manhugger

[jotaeme8]

#The BFG #Gif #Gifs #Fleshlumpeater #Bloodbottler #Butcher Boy #Bonecruncher #Gizzardgulper #Manhugger #Meatdripper #Childchewer #Maidmasher #Walt Disney Pictures #Walt Disney #Disney

[liache]

also wrt tonight’s Drama(tm): junkrat, a known Gay,

#aka he's a boykisser. a dudelover. a manhugger. a guysmoocher.

[chalametdaily]

lmfao no sorry i made that up. timmy never auditioned to play a tall slim giant called manhugger. other anon is right

LOLLL YOU REALLY JUST MADE THAT UP

#mod em #answered #too funny

[swimmingbouquettigerworld-blog]

roald dahl writing paper Roald Dahl Page Borders - Roald Dahl, page borders, roald dahl

Hi there Ceembee, Thank you so much for letting us know about this issue! Roald Dahl Page Borders. To save a resource you must first Join or Sign In. Year 4 EFL students. Hi wordplay23, Thanks for your comment! Great resource to help us celebrate Roald Dahl day - used the border to dispaly the settings Roald Dahl names - The Frightsome Bean, The Ucky-Mucky Hornswaggler, The Manhugger Blabbersnitch, The Frightsome Twit & The Wondercrump Bunce. What I got when I downloaded was not what I see on the page here. All the pages are the same, just with/without lines or landscape/portrait. They all have a border all the way around, not pictures in corners as above. Hi Ceembee, I am really sorry to hear about this mistake, and I apologise if it has caused you any trouble. It will be changed shortly! Our lovely resource creation team have amended the resource and emailed you the corrected version. It will also be updated on the website very soon. Reading response sheets, comprehension pages. About the indicator : bromcresol green is yellow in acid solution and blue in base solution . H3O+(aq)+CO3-2(aq) >>3H2O(l) + CO2(g) >> indicates reaction is occuring back and forth on both sides. The CO2 produced and absorbed by the solution is in equillibrium with the H2CO3 (carbonic acid), and consequently both the dilute HCl solution we are titrating and the carbonic acid contribute to the acidity of the the solution. This may produce a premature endpoint.... View more ...

[mask131]

BFG reimagined: The Nine Evil Giants

I have already reimagined many times Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Why not then see if I can put my mind to some of his other works?

And immediately inspiration struck down - the Big Friendly Giant! It is not one of my favorite books of Dahl, but I have to admit it has a strong charm and the uniqueness of some of Dahl's most typical tales. It already received two different movie adaptations, one animated and one live-action/cgi, and it has room for new ideas.

More precisely, I want to reimagine one set of characters from the story : the nine evil giants.

For those of you unaware of it, the book deals with a little girl meeting the "Big Friendly Giant", a kind and lovable giant who is a peaceful vegeterian and gives humans good dreams at night. However, he is actually an "oddity" among his kind - because the species he belongs to, the Giants, are all cruel and nasty man-eaters who enjoys nothing more than violence and sadism. Outside of the BFG, there are nine giants. Like the BFG, they live in the "Giant Country" or "Land of Gianst", a mysterious land not present on any map but that can be reached if one knows the correct way.

The nine giants have a life with a binary rythm, organized between them sleeping and lazing about in the Giant Country, and them going into the human world to kidnap people and devour them (either in the human world or in the Giant Land). Each of them has a nasty name, and each has apparently a different method for kidnapping humans ("human beans" as they call them, a deformation of "human beings") - though we only hear of two.

The giants are in the book all described as hairy and with a sunburned skin (due to the country of giants being basked in crude and harsh sunlight), but I will actually ditch this concept to allow for more diversity (plus, the animated movie made them pale-skinned, so...). I will keep the idea that they are all big, large and fat in a way, even the thinnest one having a potbelly (due to their main characteristic being devourers constantly eating and sleeping).

In the book, it is specified that they are roughly around fifty feet tall (15 meters high), the smallest being 39 feet tall (12 meters) (and even him being taller than the BFG giant). I don't know if I will keep this exact height for the giants, or change them a bit, I need to think about it...

Anyway, enough talk, here is my reinterpretation of the nine evil giants!

A) Gizzardgulper

In the book, we get to hear how this giant devours people. It is explained that Gizzardgulper is a "city giant" who usually lays on the rooftops, silent and sneaky, not moving and watching closely as the humans walk in the streets below. When he sees one that seems delicious, he picks them up from the street and immediately gobble them up. He explains he likes it, because it is like "picking from a menu". In later adaptations, Gizzardgulper is identified as the "smallest of the giants" and I would like to keep this idea.

I actually imagine Gizzardgulper looking like a gargoyle (to fit with how he waits on the rooftops). He probably has cat or hawk-like eyes because it is mentionned he has a good view and he can see clearly in the "dusk" and "twilight" times (when he goes to hunt). The mention of his hand being "quite fast" in the book also gave me the following idea : Gizzardgulper actually has extendable arms and an extendable neck, a mix of the Hammerheads from Oz and Scylla from Greek mythology. When he sees someone, his arm extend rapidly to pick the person, or his neck extends so that he can chew the person right ahead, and all that so fast no one can see it clearly.

I imagined he got his name because while waiting for the perfect prey he likes to devour the birds that would be on rooftops (gizzard being a stomach muscle of the birds) - a trait that actually the living gargoyles in Terry Pratchett's Discworld also have.

Edit: Another idea I had for him was that he looked like a sort of humanoid cameleon, with bulging eyes, an ability to have his skin blend with the color of the roof he sits on, and a longue tongue he spits to snatch people away from the street.

B) Bonecruncher

In the book, we know that this giant got his name because he likes to crunch "two people" each night for diner, munching them so that their bones are crunched loudly. It is also mentionned that he eats exclusively (well almost exclusively) Turkish people, because humans from Turkey tastes... well, like juicy turkeys. (In the book, it is mentionned that for Giants each human tastes a different thing, Panama people taste like hats, Welsh taste like fish, Danish people like dogs and Jersey people like cardigans - this is why for exemple the Giants never eat Greek people, because they taste like grease).

Due to this mention of him eating two people each diner (hinting at him eating "twice" than the others) and liking people tasting like "juicy turkeys" I imagine the Bonecruncher as the gluttonous giant of the group, the fattest of them all, obese. Just like in the original book he is dirty (probably due to his sloppy eating covering him in dryed blood and bits of flesh) and only wearing a lointcloth (no other clothes able to fit him). He has a very, very large mouth, filled with teeths that are actually big, large and square, not pointy at all, teeth made for crunching flesh and breaking bones. His mouth is in fact so big and his eyes and nose so small it seems he only has a mouth for a face.

C) Maidmasher

In the original book we don't know much about this Giant, except that he found a school filled with little girls he was eager to devour.

I imagine him to be a Giant who prefers eating women and girls over male humans, and who also enjoys eating them as "mash" just like one would eat mashed potatoes. I also imagine him to be the "dandy" of the group, taking female clothes such as soiree dresses, wedding dresses and little girls clothes, and sewing them into a sort of "dandy" outfit. I imagine him to be very creepy, very thin, with long, slender and crooked limbs, and a large but thin smiling mouth filled with small teeth (that's why he likes to mash people). But of course, despite how thin he is, he has a potbelly - like all the Giants who are known to be hungry devourers.

In fact, I imagine him as looking like the Crooked Man from the Conjuring movies (with a bit of inspiration from the Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth, except with less falling skin).

I even thought of giving him a sort of small crudely made "hammer" made of metal and a rock, to smash people to a pulp (that would for exemple replace the umbrella the Crooked Man has).

D) Butcher Boy

We don't know anything about him in the book. For my interpretation, I actually took a lot of inspiration from the latest movie, because this iteration of the Butcher Boy really spoke to me.

Butcher Boy is the "youngest looking" of the Giants, because he actually looks like a giant chubby baby. Not that he is a baby or a child thought, he is an evil... "adult" you could say, like the other giants. But he looks like a giant baby - and acts a bit childish and immature. He is wearing a circus tent (that he likes because it is colorful, and it was from a famous feasting day he devoured an entire circus, including performers, audience and animals). He also likes to take away cars from roads and trains from rails, to then empty their content in his gullet before keeping the cars and trains as "toys". He is also known as the Butcher Boy because he likes to cut, dismember and slice his victims like a butcher would - merely out of a cruel "childish" joy of playing.

E) Childchewer

We don't know much about this giant in the book, except the fact that he enjoys children more because they are soft, and that he hates old people that he thinks as "tough".

I decided to have him be the "sea giant". You see, in the book, the BFG mentions that from time to time the Giants hide in the sea, and when no one is looking, they have a huge hand rise out of the sea and take someone away from the beach.

I imagined this was the childchewer method of hunting - he goes to the most touristic and popular beaches during the holidays, and snatches children away from it (it is extremely easy especially with how crowded beaches get nowadays). As a result, I imagined him being covered in dried-up salt, seashells and algae. I also thought of maybe him having a shark-like mouth or face - but he definitively also has a wild and thick green mane and green beard, looking like masses of algae. [This is a reference to the Green Fisherman in Pinocchio, a giant who wants to eat the puppet].

F) Meatdripper

The book actually details us the method of hunting of the Meatdripper - he disguises himself as a tree in parks, so that when family go for a picnic under him he devours them all.

Taking from this description, I imagine the Meatdripper as being a giant covered in fur that may be mistaken for moss, and having numerous horns (probably deer-like antlers) that are mistaken for branches. I thought also of maybe him having multiple arms, or more fingers than five on his hands, to further emulate the "branch" feeling. His skin is also a dark brown, the color of the bark of trees.

I thought that he is named the "Meatdripper" because he likes to hang the meat of his victims on his antlers, to let them "drip", because he likes dry or smoked meat better.

G) Manhugger

We don't know much of Manhugger outside of the fact that he has "long arms and big feet". I noticed a lot of times the Giants were depicted as having huge hands and feet, and I went with it.

Manhugger looks like a giant Sasquach, an enormous Yeti, but more of all a titanic Bigfoot. (In the animated movie, one of the giants looked like a giant ape/orangutan, and there are other reinterpretations covering the giants in fur). He is like this giant ape/orangutan/gorilla humanoid being, with enormous hands and feet. In fact his "hugging" is actually crushing humans in his hands or under his feet. He is the most muscular and brutal of the group, and also probably the dummer. (I was a bit inspired for him by the Abominable Snowman from the Looney Tunes cartoon, an insane creature who just wants to hug people).

H)  Bloodbottler

In the book, this giant is said to be the "second in command" of the story, and he is among the smartest of the giants. We also know he enjoys drinking blood, and that he particularly likes English people because of their "inky-booky" taste.

For this one, I decided to start with the idea of a giant drinking blood... I took from the musical the idea that he kept blood in small bottles at his belt. I also decided to have him look like a monstrous version of Count Orlock - bald, pale, with a lot of pointy, monstrous teeth. Basically, he is a giant vampire. I also thought of having him be basically an obscure and evil version of the BFG - just like him he has a cape that he uses to hide himself at night, but his is made from the flesh-turned-leather of his victims (since he only cares about crushing their bones and drinking their blood).

In the book, the BFG mentions that often the Giants just go in town at night to snatch people out by their windows, straight out of their bed. And I think this is Bloodbottler's tactic - as an evil parody of the BFG, he walks in cities or on the countryside at night, searching for chimneys, open windows, lose doors, and snatching people out of their bedrooms. (Again, reinforcing the vampire idea).

I) Fleshlumpeater

The final of the nine giant. Said to be the tallest, largest, biggest and most horrible of them all - he is also their leader.

He is the cruelest, wickedest, most brutal of the giants. Or at least, he seems so. Actually he is not the most intelligent, nor the most violent, he is simply the biggest and scariest of them all, but actually he is more of a coward. Like his siblings he shares a fear of the famous "giant killers" that are Jack and David, but he also has an additional phobia of snakes (probably because he heard of Jormungandr one day and fears being eaten by something bigger than him).

For his appearance, I was heavily inspired by his iconic look in the animated movie - but I added to it elements of Balor from Irish mythology, cyclops of Greek mythology, and of the giant from "Time Bandits".

As I mentionned, he is the tallest, largest and biggest of the giants, a true mountain. As a result, to hunt he usually snatches entirely planes out of the sky or cruise ships from the ocean. He is covered in fierce tribal-like and war-like tattoos. He has only one eye in his head, but an ugly and terrifying eye. He has tusks, and his fingernails are long and pointy, almost like birds talons or an animal's claws. He also wears a crown made of an old ship (and probably adorned with electric poles - this idea comes from an unused concept art for the most recent BFG movie. In said concept arts, the giant dressed with human elements, having crowns of electric poles, wearing cars as collars, and having a huge cape made of truck's tires put together like a chainmail).

And there you have it! The nine evil giants of BFG reinterpreted! What do you think?

#bfg #big friendly giant #roald dahl #giant #reimagination #evil giant #man eater #fleshlumpeater #bloodbottler #manhugger #meatdripper #childchewer #maidmasher #butcher boy #bonecruncher #gizzardgulper

[jotaeme8]

#The BFG #Film #BFG #Bonecruncher #Gizzardgulper #Manhugger #Walt Disney Pictures #Walt Disney #Disney

[mask131]

BFG reimagined: Grandpa’s tale, 2

"Girls have it so easy!" I complained one day to my grandpa. "Much easier than boys! It is so unfair!"

"Why in the world would you say such a thing?" Grandpa asked.

He was sitting in his living room, reading his newspaper.

"Because my sister is everyone's favorite!" I cried. "They always give her treats, they always tell her how nice she is, they never shout at her or blame her! Not even once! Not even when she did bad things! And I'm sure teachers like her better than me - else why would she get better grades?"

Grandpa folded his newspaper and put it on the table.

"Well... girls do not have it more easy than boys, trust me. Not when you count in the Giants."

It had been quite some times since Grandpa had told me anything about the Giants, but his stories were still bubbling in my memory. The Gizzardgulper of the citie, the Meatdripper of the forests and the Manhugger of the mountains.

"Why? Is there a giant that only eats girls?"

"Oh yes. It is a Giant that only eats girls, and women. He eats mothers and wives and grandmothers and little girls... but his favorite are young women, teenagers and other girls still as fresh as a bloomed flower. That is why he is called the Maidmasher."

"The Maidmasher? Because he mashes them?"

"Oh yes, alright! He mashes them! He crush them, he squish them, he turns them into jelly, into marmelade, into... well into mash! That's because he has very little teeth. And very rotten. He attacks them with a small masher he has, like a potato masher, but he crafted it himself, out of rock and metal. He always carries it with him."

"Why does he likes eating girls better than boys, grandpa?"

"Because girls are softer, like butter. And sweeter, like cake. It is a delight for a raffinate palate. He thinks boys are too tough and too sour. Too much muscles and nerves and sweat and hair."

"So I guess I should not worry about him!"

"Well, probably not. But girls, oh they should certainly worry a lot about him! I heard that one day, he gulped down an entire boarding school of girls! Yes, an entire school that went missing!"

"How did the teachers react when they discoverd all their students were missing?"

"They did not. Because they had also been eaten! They were all women teachers! But this is a quite unique story. From what I heard, the Maidmasher usually catches women and girls when they are alone in remote areas... Rumor has it that he adores to snatch a bride before her wedding, right before, when nobody is looking, so that people think she fled from her husband. Apparently, a bride tastes like a delicious and creamy wedding cake!"

"And what does this Giant looks like, Grandpa? Does he have fur, or horns, or scales like the others?"

"Oh no." Grandpa shook his head. "No, no. The Maidmasher has no fur, no horns, no scales. He has skin, like you and me, but it is a pale and sickly skin, and he has no hair, no hair at all - no beard, no eyebrows and he is completely bald! He has very tiny eyes, and very tiny holes for a nose, but a very large mouth, spreading in a thin smile from one of his small ears to another. In fact, a lot of things about him are thin. He is tall and slender, but with crooked limbs. Some say he was the original Crooked Man, from the nursery rhyme! The only thing that is not thin on him is his potbelly. Because all the Giants have a big belly: they are gluttons and devourers. They live to feed, and nothing else."

Grandpa paused at this moment and looked out by the window. It was a bright and sunny day. There was even a bird chirping outside, constrasting greatly with the grizzly tale I was told.

"But you want to know what is the more peculiar? The maidmasher is also a masher, in an older sense of the term. A masher, as in an old-fashioned dandy. He has those weird clothes, they seem out of the 18th or 19th century... But when you look closer, you realize that they are actually made of the clothes and dresses of all the women and girls she ate!"

"What? That's impossible."

"It is. All their blouses, all their dresses, all their scarfs and all their gloves, all their coats and even their underwears! He collects them, saw them together and makes his own clothes out of it!"

I was split between disgust and amusement. A girl-eating giant seemed quite less scary when you were told he wore women underwears.

"Then I am glad I am a little boy! The Maidmasher certainly won't eat me!"

"Oh no, but the Childchewer can."

                "What?" I screamed in surprise.

Grandpa smiled. He visibly knew I would have this reaction.

"I have never told you of the Childchewer? He is the Giant that only eats children!"

"Now you're pulling my leg! You are making stuff up!"

"I am not! The Childchewer prefers children because they are tender and softer. For him, old people are too tough, and have too many bones. He always changed his hunting ground to catch the most children. I heard that a long time ago, he used to hide in the forest, because children went playing there. But now they don't do it so much. So he goes to the beach!"

"The beach?"

"Yes, the beach! This is where all the parents bring their children when on holidays! By the sea-side! It is so crowded and thick with people nowadays that nobody realizes when a child goes missing!"

"But it is hard to miss a giant when you are on the beach! He should be spotted!"

Grandpa leaned forward.

"But he hides in the sea, my dear! Under the water! He can hold his breath for a very long time, and see perfectly well under water! If a child swims too far away... gulp! And if no child is in the sea, then he merely extends his hand when no one is looking and plucks them out of the sand!"

"I will never go to the sea again!" I wimpered.

"Oh, you can go to the sea again. Just make sure your parents are always watching you and that you don' go too far. There are also ways to spot the Childchewer. Be wary of the water if it seems suddenly very dark, because he might be right underneath you! And also never go in the water if you see a huge mass of algae floating in the water!"

"Why?"

"Because that's his hair! Or his beard! The Childchewer has a huge mane of hair, and a long and thick beard, both as green as algae! In fact many people mistake it for algae! If you go under the water, you might also mistake him for a huge rock, because he is covered in salt, moss and seashells, from all the time he spends under water. But no rock ever had a mouth such as his... a huge shark mouth!"

Grandpa probably saw how distressed I was, because he added:

"But at least you don't have to worry about the Childchewer for long. You will soon grow up to be a little man, a brave young man, and then the Childchewer will want nothing from you!"

             But I was still quite gloomy, so Grandpa went on with his tale:

"In fact, you may not worry about any of the Giants when I think about it... After all, we are from Greek descent!"

"We are English!" I objected.

"You are. I'm not." Grandpa corrected. "I'm still Greek. And the Giants do not eat Greek people. Ever. This is why so many Greek men killed giants in the old days. They think we taste like grease, and they dislike it."

"I do not taste like grease!" I shouted, offended.

"You might taste a bit more like an English than a Greek to a giant... but I am sure you still have enough Greekness in you to make you taste greasy. You should be thrilled to not end up as a Giant's supper!"

It was true that it was quite a relief, but I was still feeling insulted for not being tasty.

"Does every person in every country tastes different?"

"Of course! To a Giant at least! Welsh people taste like fish and Danish people like dogs! Panama people like hats and Jersey people like cardigans! Every human on Earth has a different flavor for a giant! Each Giant has a favorite! For exemple, Turkey people are the favorite of the Bonecruncher!"

"The Bonecruncher? You haven't told me anything about him yet!"

"The Bonecruncher is the fatest of the giants. Truly obese! But that's because he is the biggest glutton of them all. He has a mouth so wide, so big, so large, and eyes so tiny, a nose so small, it looks like he only has jaws for a face! You can sense him being near because with every step he takes the ground shakes slightly! He is so big because he devours twice as much humans as his brothers. He throws them all in his mouth and he chews and chews and chews, their bones crunching loudly under his teeth. He likes it when it is crunchy."

"And why are the Turkey people the favorites of the Bonecruncher?" I asked.

"Well, silly! Because they taste like turkeys! Juicy, plump, delicious roasted and stuffed turkeys! The Bonecruncher can't have enough! And they are very fattening. He only wear s a loincloth because no other kind of cloth would fit him, even giants clothes. And he is a true slob, always covered in bits, chunks and stains or his old meals. Oh, for that he is a dirty Giant."

I wanted to ask more questions, but my mother came in the room to pick me up.

"That was only six Giants! I complained to Grandpa! You said there were nine!"

"Six is already enough for today!" Grandpa replied. "I will tell you about the others one day. But you have to be patient. I'll see you later, my boy."

And Grandpa added, maliciously, as I was leaving the room with mom :

"Try to not get eaten! Until next time!"

#roald dahl #bfg #big friendly giant #giant #evil giant #nine evil giants #childchewer #maidmasher #bonecruncher