#maybe I-I just fuckin dated Nacy out of jealousy that she’s as pretty and girly as I wish I could be but will never be cause I’m just-fuck

[the-closested-bisexual-himbo]

(The updated/edited version on my Ao3 chapter 2 and name: ¿Pretty boy?)

Summary: MtF Steve/Billy

Steve has a bit of body image issues and eating issues so ⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING FOR THAT!!!⚠️⚠️

((Inspired by a gif set that I found of how Steve always gives his food away to Tommy or whatever and I got emo about it cause ima dumb sad boy))

I started writing the story in the middle of a rewatch of Young Royals when this idea just came to me. had no intention on writing this much and yeah it just got away from me. Steve is weird with food and basically has an eating disorder fueled by the internal struggles of trying to admit to things about being trans excuse it for being messy or all over the place. Lol

Yo I caaant stop thinking about Billy and Steve becoming kiiiinda buddy buddy after coach makes them partner up until they “squash the beef” and their doin their workout drills during practice. Taking turns holding the others feet for crunches while they actually start talkin, initially jokes but they lead to “yeah my old man sucks too” type bonding talk filled with genuine smirks and laughs shared. Gettin more and more about their shared trauma.. and oh man the trauma bonding feels so good cause they both never thought they’d have someone who’d understand them.

After practice they go to one another’s house cause as they jokingly put it “well we know no ones gonna be home and if they are well we’ll just go some other place cause we know they won’t miss us” haha. And Billy tries to help Steve out with tips on how to bulk up but Steve always politely, turns the lightest hint of pink as he brushes it off. But man, why does Billy have to call him small, and dainty “like a girl” every time he brings it up. Cause, fuck, Steve hates that his heart always catches with his stomach with out fail every time as Billy, none the wiser keeps goin on and on about how he’s gotta bulk “his boy” up now that a real man like himself is on the team or he’ll “wipe the floor with you little bitchs”….

(Stop here read the tags I started writings the story in them, then come back here and read this next long bit lmfaoooo jumbled order cause I had nooo intention on writing this much but yeah got away from me. Don’t worry yall I promise I’ll get this actually written up into a nice sized lil fic )

(Ooooops soooo I zoned out and got carried away vibing n started to write the fic in the tags while watching young royals again with my mom (sorry if I miss gender Steve in the middle ground area before she comes out and it’s a mess in the finished version ima have my shit together but rn I’m just getting it out half minded didn’t even mean to write so much and then I did in the tags to the point where I reached my limit oop soooo I’ll have to finish it haha sorryyy cliffhanger was Steve finally ends up comfortable enough to talk about that first day and Billy’s all like “So we gonna talk about how you were jealous of your girlfriend and wanting her body in the least sexual way ooor..” and Steve figures it out and has to tip toe around the words and is scared to say it but Billy plays dumb just to get clarification aaaand Steve’s like “I-I like…. Wanna be.. *sigh* I wanna be like her.. I wanna be..” and Steve’s trembling with the pace of hyperventilating like breath, looks from the floor to Billy and is like “you know?… you have to know..” and Billy keeps fishing, wants to hear the truth out loud not for his own sake of course but Steve’s. “Just say what you mean Steve, go ahead, I’m here for you.. I swear I’m not goin anywhere, but you gotta say it” and Steves tearing up a bit as Billy urges “just breath, it’s okay, it’ll be okay, tell me.” And they’re both all vulnerable, locked in the others stare and Steve just follows Billys direction breathes and says “I-I (closes eyes and tears roll down) I’m a, girl” and then looks away, down to the floor. Eyes dewy nose gone a little red along with her eyes. Too anxious to see Billys reaction but feeling relieved all the same to have finally said it aloud and at that, another person and on top of that, being his enemy turned best friend turned crush.

Billy feel such a mix of emotions watching Steve looking off, fearing the worst he wondered to himself, Steve didn’t deserve to feel any level of worry or fear especially for just being.. uh, herself, he thought the air felt weighted in silence and he couldn’t stop himself from stirring it up by striding to Steve who still averting her gaze began to flinchingly step back. “Hey, you.. you don’t have to be scared of me Harrington.. i meant what I said, I’m not going anywhere.. aaand, it’s going to be okay.” And Steve meets his eyes for a moment before looking back down to the side as Billy closes the rest of the distance between them. “Guess this means I should call you pretty girl now?..” Billy says smiling trying to lighten the thick air. And Steve’s blushing and swallowing awkwardly as his breath hitches. Billy tries to ignore how causing Steve to be like that makes him feel and just clears his throat to say “look you don’t ever have to feel.. embarrassed or uncomfortable with me really I’m always here.. we’re all we got man-I mean fuck um, I meant that in the exclamation not like.. but still I’m sorry I’ll try to be more careful. Wh-what would you prefer I say?” And Steve feels so hot because oh my god he’s actually not running away but coming closer, Billy’s consoling her rather then berating or bullying her. And, fuck, he-he really cares like reeeally cares and nothings ever been like this in Steve’s whole life and for a moment it almost feels like a kiss was inevitable between them but Steve couldn’t bring himself to even look at him and figured Billy wouldn’t.. would he?… “um, it’s okay man we talk like that, ya know the dude and bro and man exclamation is our thing I like that and don’t want us to change that, but… I guess when it’s just us I wouldn’t mind if you tossed in that… ‘pretty girl’ thing.” And suddenly it feels like actual fire now and if this kiss doesn’t happen soon all the oxygen will cease to exist in this room. suddenly Billy’s hand is on the side of her face gently so they’re faces meet. “Look at me” Billy whispers so close Steve feels the faint breath on her face and she’s out of breath, it catches like she’s drunk on the moment as her heavy lidded eyes finally meet with his and she can tell the second they do that she’s not alone in the need, the want filling the room.) aaand.

That’s where I’ll end it tonight sorryyyy but ima work on this one for sure it’s very close to home for me haha sooo yeah. Again sorry about any misgendering in the in between in the tags I’ll go back and fix it most likely the day after tom I have a family event tom.

#do I actually have a fanfic I’m working on with this concept?… #yes yes I do lol buuut does it include Steve actually “being weird with food because of his home life and slowly coming to figure out he’s.. #had an ED because he actually is trans and likes to feel smaller and empty or at least never too full aaand oh gosh so many details… #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #billy stranger things #harringrove #harringrove headcanon #and Steve works it out with Billy on a random time he brings it up yet again but in a more pushy joking way like ‘dude you really gotta #juuust eat more I feel like you never eat or like not a lot you gotta eat more’ and Steve’s all awkward and gets reder rubbin the back #of his neck all awkward under Billy’s scrutiny. #and Steve’s like tryin to be chill and laugh it off and explain idk man it’s just not that simple for me #and Billy’s over simplifying it like wtf do you mean man you gotta bulk up so you gotta eat more just… eat more. #and Steve ends up just flairing up overwhelmed and says his thoughts because his filter leaves with the air in the room and before he knows #it he’s already said ‘maybe I just fuckin like being small okay #maybe I-I just fuckin dated Nacy out of jealousy that she’s as pretty and girly as I wish I could be but will never be cause I’m just-fuck #I’m not.. and just FUCK #can’t you just drop it let it go I get it you’re a big strong guy mister big shot that works for you but idk it always felt like a persona #a role but inside… inside ive never felt like I fit any mold anyone’s tried to push me into.’ and Billy the one red and awkward this time #he’s quite swallows lookin around n licks his lips before sayin ‘I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to like.. I didn’t know it was like an issue #for you. if I woulda known I would shut tf up after the 1st time….. and um.. (Billy blushes harder) if…if it’s any consolation you #um… you always have been way prettier then Wheeler.’ he clears his throat lookin around then finally to Steve who’s smiling soft eyed #lookin at the ground asking ‘really’ as a whisper and Billy laughs and Steve’s smile drops for a moment thinking it was a all a joke #they meet eyes and Billy is red faced and bashful still when he says ‘yeah Harrington… so please let me make you something to eat. even just #a snack.. anything you want #for me pretty boy #haha please…’ ‘okay fine.. ugh.. I guess I could go for soooome.. hmmmmpancakes!?’ #and Billy just happily smiles and says comin up pretty boy. #and that’s their thing for a while he helps him work through that and they get closer and talk more and Steve finally is comfortable enough