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unprofessional-bard · 4 years

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Chapter 7 - The Fog, Pt. I

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Enough with fluff, time for some angst... with smut in flashbacks but detailed enough to satisfy y'all 😌. TW// mentions of suicide, canon typical violence/events, death of a child - overall a lot of blood and gore.

Summary: Things take a dark turn for the reader on patrol one day.

Word Count: 4.119

Author's Note: PLEASE READ!! I'll be moving to another country next week, so my updates might be delayed from time to time... I'm putting a soundtrack from the walking dead below called "The Pulse (I)", the sounds in the beginning (you'll know what I'm talking about once you listen) are what the reader hears; I really didn't know how to describe the sounds so I decided to put the soundtrack there and also linked it on a word when the time comes. Finally, I'm assuming Ellie was born sometime between the end of spring and summer because of the outfits they wore in that cutscene in part ii, so I set this chapter's date to September; wanted Joel to have some nice time with his daughter :")

Enjoy!

Walt made sure to stay away from you after your conversation. You were absolutely shocked and angry - you hated Walt for that, but you could only laugh at the situation when you told Maria what happened. How ironic it all was. You thought maybe if Joel hadn't come along, you could have ended up with Walt but you weren't sure if you'd be as happy with him as you were with Joel. You would've been sad or upset after finding out about this new 'information' if your feelings for Joel weren't this strong, but you were simply glad Walt didn't open up to you before Joel and Ellie came. Your relationship with Walt was damaged for sure now, but it wasn't completely in disrepair.

Joel and you, on the other hand, weren't the type to kiss or hold hands in public. You weren't too sensual with each other in front of others, but behind closed doors, it was a different story. Who would've thought Joel Miller would be a cuddler? It definitely wasn't you, or Tommy or Ellie. Nobody knew for awhile of course, but Tommy eventually caught Joel and you in your kitchen one day, weeks later. He was hugging you from behind and placing sweet kisses on your neck as you tried to focus on the task in front of you, but he was making it significantly hard.

Tommy teased Joel to no end about being a love sick puppy around you and kept asking when the two of you were going to get married. You'd blush and laugh, but you never even thought about marriage in the first place. It had only been around ten months since you two made things official between yourselves, but the idea of labeling it sounded silly at that time- plus, it was still a little early to think about marriage. As Eugene had put it, you were in the sex, beer and rock 'n roll phase of your relationship and you needed more time to figure everything out before settling down together. You two stayed at each other's houses most of the time of course, but still. There were still sides to the both of you that neither of you discovered yet as well.

Sex, beer and rock 'n roll? Well...

"Really? Now?" Joel.

"Yes, now!" You whisper yelled, then slowly sneaked your hand under his shirt and began kissing his neck. "Come on, baby, please? I need you..."

You were leaning against Joel, practically rubbing your whole body against his as you moaned whispered in his ear. Of course, he couldn't help himself when he saw you were this hungry for him, so he gladly obliged.

You kissed Joel's lips softly, but just as you pulled away, he held your neck and kissed you again harshly. You knew, you weren't in for a gentle treatment the moment you felt his hand around your throat lightly. Joel sat you on the desk and spread your legs, settling between your thighs and grabbing them.

"Tommy won't stop bustin' my balls about this if he catches us," Joel grunted.

"He won't- if we're quick enough," You smirked and took his jacket off in a rush. You two were currently at a back room of the ski lodge lookout, where Tommy told you he'd meet you both in half an hour.

"Lay down for me," Joel growled and pulled your pants down to your knees while you did as he told you, getting support from your elbows as he slowly unbuckled his belt. Your arousal was present ever since you woke up from a rather naughty dream in the morning. You didn't say or do anything about it, hoping that it'll go away throughout the day. Guess what? It didn't and here you were, Joel between your wide open legs and pumping his cock while teasing you with his other hand. You wouldn't say you had sex too often like rabbits, but you had sex when there was a mutual tension between you that needed to be subsided and it was so perfect every time.

Today though? You were just horny for the man and the hunger in your eyes was enough for a tent to build up in Joel's pants.

Your wetness was a natural lubricant for his easy entrance into you. He absolutely loved you around his cock, the way your walls took him in and clamped down around his length and, of course, the noises you made.

Joel stepped over the barrier made by your pants, grabbed your hips and set off with a fast, brutal pace. Your arms shook as they struggled to keep you up, sweat trickling down your forehead and finally gave out, making you lay down completely. He leaned down to kiss your neck, hips snapping into yours and stroking all the right places in fast motions. He pulled your v-neck blouse up just above your breasts and his teeth immediately met with your hardened nipples, making you moan loudly.

"Shh," Joel chuckled. "It's like you want us to get caught, baby."

Your giggles soon turned to high pitched whines of his name, his fast and rough pace gave you an indescribable amount of pleasure. The table you were currently spread across on began hitting the wall behind you louder and louder with each thrust along with his skin slapping against yours but neither of you were in a state of mind to care.

"Oh Joel!" You cried out, holding onto his arms for dear life as he fucked the living out of you.

Joel growled - you would've thought he was angry if you weren't in this situation right now: "Fuck, (Y/N)-"

A few profanities and thrusts later, you came undone a moment before he pulled out and with a couple of strokes, came on your inner thigh. You thought you'd seen stars as your legs twitched, hanging off the table. Joel collapsed on your body and you two stood like that, trembling and trying to catch your breaths.

"That- that was-" Joel tried to speak.

"Mind blowing?" You chuckled.

"That's one word to describe it," Joel slowly pushed himself up and placed a kiss on your forehead, helping you up.

No one ever caught the two of you in the act, of course. You two were incredibly careful while teasing one another in public - it could be a look, a smirk, the slightest spreading of his or your legs, a touch, a word- anything would be so carefully executed that nobody would even notice. After sex, your mind lingered too long on Joel and that usually wasn't good because it sometimes led to daydreaming while doing chores in town. Not on patrol, of course, but this one morning Joel had fucked you so good, you couldn't help but spend the rest of the day aching for more.

You were still a little sleepy so you let him have it his way. He took off whatever clothing he had on him and stripped you of yours, then spread your legs open: "Ain't you the loveliest little thing when you wake up..."

You grinned at him, stretching as he kissed your belly once, then proceeded to eat you out like a man who hadn't eaten in days. He took his time and didn't rush anything, earning soft gasps from you with his skillful tongue: "Oh god, Joel-"

One of your hands went through his hair while the other was on your forehead as if you were about to faint. Your cheeks were burning, his hands had a tight grip on your waist so he could keep you from wiggling out of his touch. This was pleasure in its purest form, you thought. The sight of him buried between your legs were absolutely delicious and the feeling even more so. He didn't let you come, however. Instead he sat on the bed and licked his lips: "Turn around for me, baby."

You whined at the loss of contact but did as he asked. He got on top of you, then caressed and massaged your back and kissed down your spine as his hands moved lower to your rear: "You ready for me, doll?"

"Yes," You sighed dreamily, a light smile on your lips. Joel pushed your legs together and you felt the bed dip on each side. He was hovering over you on his knees: Slowly, he pushed into you, almost moaning at the feeling of how tight you felt around him. You were already a mess by the time he was buried to the hilt. He fucked you thoroughly and slowly - he had all the time in the world and didn't want to rush anything. You liked it when he was taking his time, it extended your orgasm to it's limit but this position was about to see to a quick end on both sides.

He gently grabbed your chin and pulled your head up so he could tease your lips with his. You were on your elbows and moaning softly, whining when he didn't kiss you: "Joel..."

A quiet chuckle left his lips: "You want a kiss?"

You simply nodded and moaned instead of answering when his pace got faster. He gave you your kiss, your jaw in his careful grasp and fucked you until you came with a high pitched moan. Joel came on your rear, finishing with a long, hushed groan.

Those two and your first time with each other were the best sex you two ever had, you both agreed on it during a drunken chat.

Joel wasn't too hard to handle. During his time in Jackson and then his time with you and Ellie had really helped him open up and get comfortable with his emotions around people he let in. He hardly ever got jealous, but the way he got jealous would be sweet rather than a mood killer.

"I'm real lucky to have the most beautiful woman in town all for myself," He'd say, before kissing your brow and putting his arm around your waist. You enjoyed it, being his. New arrivals who'd try their chances with you would instantly know that you were 'his gal' and he was your man. You two really helped one another fit better in Jackson - you socialized with others and got to be vulnerable around each other. You taught him how to love again and he taught you over and over that all hope wasn't lost.

Until September 23rd, 2035. A date you'll never quite forget.

Red, orange and brown leaves had fallen off trees and blanketed the soil you and Joel were walking on. You two were set off to patrol a new place Tommy and Joel had discovered a few days back and it needed clearing from the infected. There was also a child, Miles, missing along with his father Samuel. They'd been missing for four days now and your thoughts were very troubled because of it, ever since their disappearance was announced. You really liked Miles, a sweet twelve year old boy he was.

"Doll, you okay?" Joel gave you a concerned look. Your grip on your rifle was hard and you had zoned out apparently, missing everything Joel had been talking about.

"Yeah," You nodded. The sun was shining through the trees and right onto Joel's beautiful face, which made you smile. "I wish we had a camera."

"I heard Tommy found one, he said someone was working on it this morning," Joel replied. "Why'd you ask?"

"You look so beautiful like this- and we don't have a picture together."

"Yeah, you're right," He nodded. "We'll be the first ones to use it, I promise you... I actually want a picture of me and Ellie too."

The way he loved Ellie like he did Sarah made your heart break. He had mentioned how he was absolutely destroyed and almost took his own life after her passing, also the story of how him and Ellie came across two brothers, Sam and Henry, before they found you which turned you into a concerned mother duck around the kids in Jackson and more of a wife to Joel than a girlfriend.

"Yeah, I want a lot of pictures with a lot of people: With the kids, Maria, Tommy, even Eugene!" You chuckled and made him laugh, but suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you saw two bodies lying on the ground and a third one away from them. "Joel, look."

Joel's smile immediately dropped at the sight. You two shared a look before you got in position and carefully walked over to the bodies with your rifle pointed at them, Joel right behind you. The closer you got, you noticed how there was a third body under the other two. You didn't recognise any of them, so you carefully leaned down and moved one of them away to see an awful scene in front of you.

"Oh god, Miles?" You whispered. His eyes opened slowly and you immediately moved the corpses off him.

"Miss (Y/N)?" Miles' voice cracked.

"It's alright Miles- It's me, I got you-"

"(Y/N)," Joel called over to where the third body was, only to see Samuel lying on his face.

You gave him a devastated look, but stopped Miles from seeing his father's body and picked him up bridal style: "Good god, how long have you been here, darling?"

"A few hours?" Miles held onto you while Joel was trying to figure out a way on how to get Samuel's body back to town. "You need to be careful miss, those men could be still here."

"What men?"

"The men that attacked us," Miles continued. "My pa thought they were bandits, but they wer-"

Blam!

You didn't understand what happened first. Blood got into your eyes and splattered all over your face - an incredible force almost pushed Miles out of your hold but your grip stopped him from falling.

"Dolly!" You heard Joel yell, but you couldn't open your eyes, too much blood-

You wiped your eyes on your arm as best as you could with Miles in them, but when you finally managed to open your eyes, you almost screamed: There were two holes on the sides of Miles' head and a bullet, covered in blood, on the ground.

"Oh- Oh god," You trembled, you couldn't take your eyes off the poor boy's head, but Joel pushed you on the ground suddenly and saved you from another bullet.

"Take cover- run!" Joel yelled, pushing you in the direction of a huge rock only a few feet away from you. You reluctantly let go of Miles' body and ran with him. Once behind the cover, Joel whispered: "Dolly- Dolly are you okay?"

You sure as shit were not, your face looked like the statement too.

"You heard the boss: Bring the woman alive, get rid of the other one!" A shiver went down your spine. Who the hell were they? Was FEDRA finally caught up to you?

"Oh fuck," You tried to breathe, wiping at your face. "Joel-"

"I'm right here darlin' but you gotta focus, we need to get outta here," Joel held your face between his hands. "C'mon (Y/N), focus."

You took a few deep breaths and concentrated. You heard about seven to eight footsteps beginning to surround you. You readied your rifle and Joel did the same, but before attacking, you threw a smoke bomb right onto a man who was the closest to your position, then moved in his direction as a smoke cloud hid your movements. This gave Joel time to cover you as you killed the first man, bullets flying in your direction. You quickly jumped back to your cover, a bullet barely slicing through the flesh of your leg as you landed beside Joel.

"Please tell me you have a nail bomb," You whined.

"Always," Joel said before sending it off to where three of the men were, the shards embedding themselves into their skin and making them cry out in pain. Quickly taking the chance, you fired at the men until you ran out of bullets. You took out Kurt's your knife and advanced at another man with a baseball bat in his hand. You were quicker with a knife - it took you almost five seconds to cut open the man's vital veins and have him collapse onto the ground. Just as you were about to turn around to see where Joel was, you felt someone grab you by the waist and slam you to the ground.

"Oof!" You immediately collected yourself and swung the blade to your opponent's throat, but he grabbed your wrist and rolled you and himself over, pushing himself away from you. You quickly got up on your knees and reached for your blade when the same hand caught your wrist once more. You were, once again, mortified at the sight in front of you: "Gabe?!"

"Hiya commander," Gabe growled in despise and headbutted you, completely taking advantage of how off guard you were.

"Fuck!" You cried out and kicked him in the face before he could get to you when you collapsed. While you two were on the floor, making sure your bones weren't broken, Joel was shooting his way to you. He was going hand to hand with a man who's neck was going to be broken by the heel of Joel's boots in a matter of seconds. You stumbled but got up and immediately got on top of Gabe with your knife in hand. You went to stab him in the throat but his arms blocked you from doing so.

"(Y/N)!" Joel pointed his gun at Gabe, but was interrupted by another man suddenly tackling him.

Your vision was red - you were like a raging bull, wanting nothing more than to kill Gabe for what he had done. You were angry at yourself too, mostly at yourself but he still played a part in getting your family killed. You couldn't even hear your surroundings anymore as you repeatedly hit and forced your knife holding hand down to his throat while grunting angrily.

Another unexpected move from him had your back slamming onto the ground with his ankles wrapped around your throat. How the hell- Since when was he this flexible?!

You gasped for air with a loud cry, drawing a distressed Joel's attention back to you. You were scared now, actually scared because of the move Gabe pulled, so your survival instincts kicked in with full effect. The tip of your boot met with his jaw, hard, as soon as it got free from under your thigh. The moment you felt his lock weaken around your throat, you rolled back, grabbed his leg before he could recollect himself and with everything you had, struck his knee with your elbow. Gabe screamed and kicked you with his fine leg, but he was weak and you kept striking the same spot, crushing his bone ferociously.

"(Y/N)!" Joel pulled you away from your shoulders, but you pushed him off with your back. "(Y/N), stop!"

You grabbed Gabe's throat, nails digging into his skin and pressed him down: "Got you, you fucking rat."

"(Y/N)-"

You ignored Joel and choked Gabe to his death: "Is there more of you, huh? Where is he?!"

"You'll be seeing him-" Gabe choked out, struggling against your grip. "Very soon."

"We need to move!" Joel pulled you off of him, but you pushed him away with your hands.

"Fine," You replied through your teeth after calming down. You gave a final look at Gabe and when you saw a shit eating grin on his face, you, with the speed of light, leaned down and grabbed your knife, then shoved it through his throat with a roar. You looked him dead in the eyes as he choked on his own blood and died.

"(Y/N)..." Joel's eyes were wide as he watched you wipe the blood on your knife on Gabe's jeans. You got up, more blood smeared on your face and jacket, but just as you began walking away, you heard more footsteps from inside the woods.

"Shit, hide," You kneeled and took cover behind a fallen tree, Joel right beside you.

"Who are they?" Joel whispered as you reloaded your rifle with a hard look on your face.

"People I thought were dead," You replied, not looking into his eyes. "They escaped me once and I paid dearly because of it. I'm not leaving until they're dead."

"No, we can leave now and come back with Tommy and other's-"

"And let these assholes find out where we live and terrorize the town?" You growled angrily. "Let's make one thing clear: I'm not letting anymore people die because of stupid mistakes I make. This ends. Now."

You discreetly scanned your surroundings: There were, once more, around eight men searching the area for you two. You took a deep breath and sneaked off to take down your first target. Joel was really tense but still carried out his fair share of executions until one of the men saw you and alerted the rest, bullets flying in the air. Most of the men were already down, but suddenly more men filled the area. Where the hell are they coming from?!

You were more than willing to take him up on that offer, but you obviously didn't trust him: "You think I'm dumb enough to believe you'll stay true to your word, you son of a whore?!"

"Hold your fire!" A very, very familiar British accent that haunted you to this day reached your ears and your eyes went wide. "Oh (Y/N)~" He sang and called for you. "Are you still alive, sweetheart?" You gulped and tried to breathe, a sound lightly ringing in your ear the more he talked: "I know you're out there, I have an offer for you: Come with me now and I'll leave your friend alone."

"Come now, my mother flipped in her grave because of you and your team too many times already, poor woman..." You peeked at him from behind your cover carefully as he continued: "Oh for god's sake- bring him out!"

You watched in horror as two men dragged Joel out to the open from his arms. When did he even get captured?! God, you thought, I was so blinded by revenge I couldn't protect him.

"Dear lord above," The man chuckled, quite shocked. "I never thought I'd see you again."

What?

Joel remained quiet even after the men pushed him onto the ground, then the leader pulled out his pistol and pushed the tip against Joel's head: "Alright, new deal: If you don't come out in the next three seconds, I'll blow his bloody head off."

"Alright, stop!" You immediately got up, desperation taking over you. "Here I am, let him go."

"Now, why should I do that?" The man snorted. "He betrayed me and ran off to be a goddamn smuggler, I should just blow his head off."

"No!" You yelled, your voice cracking. "He has a daughter and a wife- your deal is with me, let him go."

Joel looked up at you as best as he could while his head was pressed on the ground. You couldn't believe he, your lover, used to run with them- with him.

"Are you possibly the wife you spoke of?" The man grinned at you.

"No, you imbecile-!" You lied through your teeth and he seemed to be buying it so far. "You've already destroyed enough families, just let the man go... You'll be satisfied enough while killing me."

"You're quite right," The man nodded thoughtfully. "I'll enjoy ripping you apart... But you know what? Since you're cooperating with me so nicely and, well, since he used to be my second in command -brothers in arms and whatnot- I'll spare him."

You exhaled in relief, not letting it creep up into your expression however. Suddenly, he kicked Joel in the nose and knocked him out: "In two hours, I'll send a man here and if he's still knocked out, I'm going to kill him."

You knew Joel would be up in less than two hours, so you kept quiet and stared at the man, hard. There's got to be a way out of this...

"Well, shall we?" The man snapped his fingers at someone behind you and they kicked the back of your knee to bring you on your knees while your hands were behind your head. The man took your rifle from you and with the back of it, hit you in the head, making your vision go black.

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