#mezalea is also part of team 'ridiculously overstated gestures'

[minecraftbookshelf]

ok so I know you’re writing and probably already thought of this but I’m case you didn’t: the differences in elven courting rituals and oceanic courting rituals, specifically when it comes to wedding gifts. if you have thought about this feel free to ignore but the way I see it

elves live a while,and probably know about the arranged marriages a decent amount of time before they happen, so in between wedding planning and normal life each half of the marriage is planning some extravagant amazing wedding gift like gardens of gold or giant tapestries and stuff like that

meanwhile ocean/swamp folk who don’t live as long probably have more personal gifts, even in arraigned marriages bc they’re still getting to know each other! but either way the gifts are more personal and specifically tailored to the other half

so keeping track we have Scott, panicking bc he has like zero time to plan a wedding and learn a language and make a wedding gift and so the necessary things for life in however little time he has, Jimmy, panicking bc he doesn’t know anything about scott, no one he knows knows anything about scott, and even when they finally meet scott isn’t exactly an open book! so Jimmy is trying to do the same things as scott (tjough his doesn’t need to be as extravagant) in addition to finding out who the hell he’s getting married to and also ruling a kingdom

AND (you thought I was done NO the adhdemons love this concept and filled the no-box fan void with fictional politics) you have Lizzie, Joel, Xornoth, and Iona, who also had to get gifts for each other

first I need you to know that I saw your url and had the immediate gut reaction of "oh same hat!" XD

Anywho

So courting traditions in general:

I don't have too much set in stone currently, lots of ideas and concepts though, because I'm half shaping the story around it and half shaping it around the story, because writing be like that (rip) but I do have a few things.

Rivendell is basically just Tolkein's elves partly isekai-ed into minecraft, lets be real. So I've yoinked the tradition from there of the bride-to-be's family gifting a jewel (usually of magical or historical or familial importance) to the groom-to-be as a sort of pre-dowry. Only because heteronormativity does not exist here it is usually a mutual exchange of gifts. Tapestries and other labor and skill intensive textile arts also play a role because of the importance of textiles in Rivendell culture (see the ask that I'm answering after this one for more details on that) And there is also just a general idea of "a demonstration of what you are bringing to the table" for the actual wedding exchange. Like the most intense and stressful art show where both your entire extended family and also your significant other/others's extended family will be judging it. (Exact form of art varies depending on the skills and interests of the elf in question; culinary, poetry, musical, metal working...the list goes on)

The Swamp has fewer actual universal traditions. Due to their recent (past few centuries) history they are basically two nations that mixed and mingled and also include a few different diasporas interspersed within them. Jimmy himself tends towards more Oceanic traditions, which include things like feats of bravery and provision. This will go both exactly as well as you think it will and genuinely very well. (Oceanic traditions tend towards dramatic and grand gestures and statements. Ability to protect and provide is a huge thing both in the Ocean and the Swamp.)

Also Jimmy absolutely panics and ends up asking a good dozen random citizens for advice.

You also have the added layer of this specific instance being an arranged marriage (which isn't especially unusual) between two empires (which is wildly unusual at their social level) That custom is, in fact, purely an Oceanic one. (Which is why Joel and Lizzie were the previous example)

Most/all of the other Empires don't tend to intermarry their royals because enough Empires don't use familial succession models that it renders it fairly unstable as an alliance technique. There's more context for the Oceanic take on it but that is a whole nother post/will be in the fics explicitly.

The point of all this is that both parties are kind of stressed and trying to figure out how to compromise/accommodate while not really having a fully applicable framework for this situation (on Rivendell's part.)

Rivendell barely has interacted with the other empires for generations let alone married them.

Xornoth and Iona actually had it fairly easy, outside figuring out how to navigate the religious minefield that is Xornoth's entire existence. It was a very matter of fact, business like courtship that Scott and Iona ran with all the stringent focus of a military operation (which it basically was) and not even Xornoth's tendency towards chaos could really do much in the face of that.

In the context of like, personal gifts Joel and Lizzie actually got off really easy because by the time they got married-married they'd technically been married for several years already.

#sorry if this is a bit rambly #i have lots of thoughts and sometimes they do not sit still long enough to be shared well #flower husbands #rivendell siblings #seablings #shadowbeans #xornoth #solidaritygaming #ldshadowlady #smallishbeans #mezalea is also part of team 'ridiculously overstated gestures' #for the record #ask and it shall be answered #spaceyaceylesbian #another spacey acey lesbian #not me #XD #smajor1995 #marriage of state au #mos: asks #mos: worldbuilding #mos: shadowbeans #mos: flower husbands #mos: xornoth #mos: ocs