ada the mirrorball/chameleon, a very vague and weird conversation on her character (ep 37-40)
going to off the bat make this abundantly clear that I JUST LIKE TO TALK!! if you think anything is outrageously wrong that's ok :)
anyways, this stems from me rereading nevermore and just, with hindsight, feeling a bit silly for my first opinions on ada. when i first read nevermore, i felt this overwhelming annoyance for her, and at times definitely hated her. especially at the beginning. she was a nuisance. but, i think like many others, as i continued, i just began to feel bad for her. and on my reread, i think that's just more prominent than ever.
i'm going to just be talking about general stuff from episodes 37-40, because if i talked about anything else i could probably talk until my jaw fell off. especially about her spectre, but let know if you want any rambles about that or not!
for this, i'm very much just going to ramble and then show you little pictures of where i picked this up!
so in episode 37, which as a quick summary is when ada is talking to lenore in the bathroom which can be summarised by this webtoon comment:
anyways, so as covered they have a big conversation in the bathroom where ada basically says to lenore that maybe she misjudged her and maybe they should team up/be tentative friends. it's part genuine from what i can tell and also part manipulative. but what's interesting about the conversation in the bathroom is what ada does.
take this for example:
i have absolutely no idea why that was the first thought that poked out to me, but here we are! the more i looked at it, the more i thought it was odd.
at first, i thought of it like a teen girl desperate to make friends, the same urge you get to sit beside your friend and just paint each others nails and the yearn for the closeness of a friendship where you swap clothes and stuff. girlhood and sisterhood. you know, that stuff.
but then i thought about it a bit more (and you know, could be reading a bit too much into this so excuse me if i am) and i thought about what we know about ada. obviously, this doesn't come in these episodes, but later in the series we're shown (i think) that ada fell in love with a rich man basically, and was murdered by him (i think!! correct me if i am wrong !!!) and we know she wasn't of the same class as him, something we become even more aware of in the next few episodes.
anyways, i thought about it, and then i thought about lenore and then i was like "oh is this something to do with class" and after reading too much into it i can conclude IT DOES HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH CLASS!
i think, if we look into it, ada's conversation could also suggest that ada wants to be lenore– not in the emo sad lesbian who's divorced sense but more she wants to have the life lenore has and wants the attention. i think ada sees lenore and maybe thinks subconsciously about the way she speaks and walks and assumes she's of high social standing. and since we're aware she isn't (especially with the way she says certain fancy words wrong) i think ada latches onto this and in the act of asking for trading blazers, i think she essentially is saying she wants the respect and status lenore has.
because what's one thing we definitely know about ada? she wants to be loved, she basically admits this to lenore as well in this episode.
and we already see lenore and annabel's little back and forth and the fact that people "flock" to lenore. so, i dunno guys, maybe this is ada saying she wants that? she wants that respect and she wants to be adored, loved and seen. but as herself, she doesn't get it.
again, me looking too closely into it.
but i dunno, there's something to be said about this whole scene in itself and the things ada does.
like here she's curling her hair with her fingers, something annabel literally does all the time. in that way, she tries to use people the same way annabel does, or what we see annabel do later. she curls her hair, tries to act all coy and tries to act like what she knows lenore is susceptible to. she does it i think not totally out of malice, but a place of insecurity because she wants to gain validation from her own little group. but it's funny because, even in this act, ada still fails to embody annabel. a wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf, and ada is still ada even if she desperately tries to act like somebody else.
then there's also the dinner scene in episode 38. we know that each of their meals is based on what they would've wanted as their last meal. and what's ada's?
beluga caviar and champagne. both items that are absolutely rooted in the upper class. beluga caviar, fun fact, is also the most expensive type of caviar! ada's whole meal is a need and a want to be like the upper class and the obscenely large bowl of caviar just shows it. also, this whole scene (i think) is our first hint that ada isn't as, i dunno, posh (?) as she claims she is. of course, that's if you ignore when she doesn't pronounce things right.
then, if you look to episode 39, you kind of see more of ada's character and how she acts.
here you see ada only pipes in when she's gotten confirmation that there's something behind it. ada is the type to stand behind anything so long as she has support– something so deeply rooted in her insecurities. take this and then take the fact girl barks like a dog in ep 40 into account, and you see something so overwhelmingly sad about her character. rereading this just made me pity ada even more.
i think, as a side note, i see a lot of people in webtoon comments and then some on tumblr make connections to morella and ada being similar, almost like two sides of the coin. and to an extent i agree with that. i think the different lies how in how they react to montresor in this episode.
you see here that morella practically pleads with montresor to stop, but ada just blindly listens. she becomes, almost, a bit pathetic here. and also, sidenote, i cannot reread this episode with having to put my phone down and take a lap because this baffles me every single time. but i read it because wow yummy artstyle. ANYWAY.
you see ada truly desperate here. desperate to be loved, desperate to be accepted, desperate to be finally seen as somebody who has worth and value and desperate to be adored by them all and most of all: to be seen by annabel as a worthy friend or pawn, whichever she can get.
i think this is truly heartbreaking when you read it, because ada just wants to be loved and she'll do anything for it. i think in that way, morella and her differ. because morella is completely different to ada in the fact that even if she wants to make friends and to please people, she has a level of respect for herself and an overwhelming sense of empathy which trumps any insecurity. ada is the complete opposite in that aspect. her need to be loved and her insecurities trump her morals and her decision making skills.
and idk, i think there's something so sad about humiliating yourself and knowing you are humiliating yourself just so you can get somebody to notice you. i think it's just so fucking sad, and i can't look at ada and think she deserves to be hated anymore.
she might be a brat, but guys she's a brat with trauma and crippling insecurities and i think in some twisted way i love her.
anyways yeah, that's the end of my ramble!
68 notes
·
View notes