#mposting

[here2bbtstrash]

indigo is for the lonely bitches, the burnt out overachievers, the people who worked so hard for something only to realize they didn't want it anymore, the heartbroken, the restless, the self-critical, the bitches who turn their phones off just to be alone sometimes, the ones who are reparenting themselves, the ones who get overwhelmingly consumed by all their worries and regrets, the ones who feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist anymore and maybe never did, the ones who don't recognize who they used to be and aren't sure who they might become next, the exhausted creatives who make art because they don't know what they'd be without it, and the people who can't believe they're about to be fucking 30.... 💙

#mposting #just thinkin 2 AM thots #indigo sleepover 💙

[911onabc]

i should not ask questions i can't handle the answers to 😔 @ilostyou

#i'm ashamed #mposting

[here2bbtstrash]

so i have the strangest question of all time and i'm going to blame it on the fact that i can't stop bingewatching survivor (and who knows maybe this could become a fic 👀)

feel free to reblog with additional commentary/reasoning for why you made your choice, or if you want to rank all 7 from "absolutely nothing to worry about" to "oh we're entirely fucked" sdkgnffdjglkj

#mposting #fuck do we have a polls tag??????? #anyway i am withholding my opinions so as not to sway the vote 🙈 #but i'm curious to hear what y'all think hehe #and pls help me i am like 5 seasons deep into this dumb show

[here2bbtstrash]

as promised, here it is: The Big Life Update Post (aka m where the hell have u been and what the hell is going on with this blog)

TLDR: went thru it, came out better for it, i love y'all. and we're getting back into this writing thing as i have the time and capacity 🥳

2023 has been a bit of a whirlwind, to put it very mildly. while the first three months started off relatively smoothly, my saturn return began in the middle of march. only a few short weeks after that... well, i'd basically say everything went off the fucking rails.

content warning: drama talk incoming ft. extremely brief mentions of racism and racist hate mail (no specific details shared).

i haven't spoken on this yet since everything happened, and i want to be explicitly clear that i won't be speaking on it further after this post. but i just want you to understand where i've been at since april.

i will own it entirely and say: i fucked up. i put content in a story that i shouldn't have, that i had no business speaking on, and i think people were well within their right to call me out on it, one hundred percent. however, after i went offline at the end of april, my friends ended up learning that the person who initially stirred up all of the "tea", and submitted the first several anonymous posts about me to a hate blog, was actually someone i knew well and considered a friend.

this was someone whose stories i gladly beta'd, someone i consoled through multiple hard moments in their life, someone i actually even met in person. yep. this was also someone who had read the chapter of my story that featured the problematic content when it was released, and proceeded to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs of how much they enjoyed it, and the story as a whole. this is not to say that people can't change their minds on content after sitting with it, not at all. but to think that i had been through so much with this person, done so much to be there for them, and that they never once gave me any reason to think we were anything other than close friends. yet ultimately, they didn't feel they could come directly to me... or find quite literally any other way of dealing with the issue?

instead, they chose to send multiple messages about me to a hate blog, as well as hateful anons to several of my friends, thinking that we wouldn't know it was them (we did). not only that, but their actions encouraged an actual torrent of racist hate mail to be sent to all of my non-white friends who publicly chose to support me. ultimately, they ended up admitting all of this, and still, they never once apologized or showed even a single iota of remorsefulness or responsibility for the onslaught of vitriol they incited. (even though, you know, this whole thing was supposedly about how racism is bad.)

and this user is still on the platform, operating under a new blog name and pseudonym. so. that's fun. 💀

i don't say this to beat a dead horse, or to drum up sympathy, because i promise i don't want it. it's been long enough, i understand the mistakes i made, and i've done my part to take accountability for my actions. but i needed to start this post here to have you all understand where i was at the end of april - just in time for yoongi's tour 🤪 - in many ways, i felt like i had no friends, at least none that i could really trust. i felt unsure who might have been acting one way to my face, perhaps even praising me, but talking different about me behind my back. and it was beyond fucking nervewracking to think that i would be meeting so many friends IRL for the first time, quite literally days after what essentially felt like a public execution.

i wasn't doing well, to say the least.

and then... the funniest thing happened.

y'all showed the fuck up for me. in droves. in a way that i have quite literally never experienced in my lifetime and doubt i ever will again. even recounting it now is lowkey giving me chills. i received, literally, yes i counted, hundreds of DMs from the most incredibly kind people- on tumblr, on twitter, on discord, in AO3 comments. the vast majority of you wrote paragraphs: about what my stories have meant to you, about how you found my blog to be a safe space in the noise of the world, about how much you'd enjoyed our time together here. so many of you said something along the lines of "even if you never come back here again, please keep writing". honestly, for like a week straight all i could do was read my DMs and cry and cry and cry.

i didn't receive a single hateful DM. not one.

as if that alone isn't more blessings than i deserve in an entire lifetime, i also, you know. saw five shows of agust d on tour. (my credit card is still recovering.) spent two of the best nights of my life in pit getting a water bottle baptism and screaming myself hoarse. and met dozens of incredible moots, who held me when i cried, scream-laughed with me, and of course, drank plenty of booze with me.

at a time where i wondered to myself if i even had a single true friend in this fandom (or, like, in the world), you all showed me that i had so much more. that we had so much more-- we had a community. and i believe we still do. and i am more than ready to block out all the shit that doesn't matter and get back to having some fun around here.

in short: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you sent me a sweet word, i promise you, i read it (and probably cried lmao). i wouldn't be doing any of this without you. i will never ever deserve all the love that you have shown me. but for as long as you'll have me, i'd love to have a fun stupid horny time in this little corner of the internet. as a part of our community. what a fucking gift it is. 🫶

phew. okay, so- that was april and may. it's november. what the fuck happened?

i knew i wanted to properly take time to get my head on straight before i found my way back to writing. what i wasn't expecting was to 1. fall in love, 2. get a new job, and 3. move myself and my cat approximately 800 miles across the country... but yeah, since the end of may, those 3 things are exactly what i've been doing!

i won't talk too much about my partner here, because our relationship is important enough to me that i want to keep it largely private, but my god. he is the most incredible human. i can't tell you how much of what i wrote out as silly little daydreams in my fanfiction has somehow manifested itself into this very real human being (like, it's kinda crazy lmao 🙈). i'm grateful for him every single day. and what makes it even more special is that we met for the first time in person while i was traveling for yoongi's tour - yep! he saw me going through so much upheaval, and fell for me all the same. just another thing i will never fully believe i deserve. but goddamn do i feel luckyyyyy 🥰

and in addition to my amazing partner (and in part because of him but honestly i had plans to move before i had even met this man it just happened to work out okay 🙄) i have also finally managed to do what i've been planning for the last year and a half, which is move my ass out of the southern suburbs where i'd been for nearly a decade, and to a ✨walkable city that actually has public transit✨ - what a fucking dream. i may have only been here 8 days, and i may not have much more to my name than my cat, my TV, and my mattress, but i swear to god, i've never been this happy in my entire life.

so yeah. exhale. like i said, it's been quite the year.

now i do want to end this with a small caveat, which is to say, i can't make a promise as to how much i can *be* here (particularly not compared to how terminally online i used to be lmao). i spent a lot of time online because i was unhappy and feeling very stuck with where i was in life, and i needed escapism, bad. now, i've finally gotten to a place where i'm excited to go out of my house and do things, but i still want to make intentional time for tumblr as a form of connection and community, and writing as a form of creative expression. these things are really important to me!!! i just ask that you give me some grace if i'm a little slow on the uptake. i promise i'm still here 🥰

and writing is gonna happen!!! i can't say much more than that, because tbh i haven't so much as opened a google doc since april, but i've been itching to get back to it. maybe.... we might start off....... with some........... drabble requests??? 👀 we'll see we'll see we'll see hehe.

in any case, i think that's more than enough for now 🤪 oh how i've missed babbling to you all, the gay people in my phone. i hope you're well, and if ya feel so inclined, i'd love it if you'd send me a comment or a DM on what you've been up to in the many months it's been since we've spoke! what's new in your life? what are we manifesting??

talk so so soon, eeeeee~ i'm so happy to be back~ love you babes!!! 🤍

#mposting #quite literally the longest mpost of all time #if you read the whole thing i LOVE YOU #if you don't i understand lmao i too have adhd

[here2bbtstrash]

they put jungkook in the shower to lower our defenses....... can't believe this

#mposting #HIS CHOCO CHIPS LULLED ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

[here2bbtstrash]

@ my fellow white americans i suggest picking up a history book and educating yourself on our country's involvement in korea's history and the korean war before you start running your mouth about SK's military practices or saying fuck SK as a whole.... cause it's not a good look 😳

#mposting #hot take of the morning #i'm not saying i support mandatory conscription but i AM saying #if you live in THEEEE center of imperialism and colonialism #maybe sit this one out and don't talk #cause white ppl thinking they know what's best for koreans is quite literally how we got here so uhhhhh #ANYWAY

[here2bbtstrash]

i was tired and period cramping when we got home last night and embarrassed bc my kitchen was messy and :(((( tell me why after i went to bed my bf did the dishes, took out my overflowing recycling, tidied the whole place up, put out all my cat's new toys for her, and programmed the coffee maker to brew a pot this morning when i woke up like :(((((((((( HONESTLY WHAT WOMAN WROTE THIS MAN????

#mposting #boyfriend tag #not to mention the fresh roses and baby's breath on my counter that he sent me on tuesday #he is too good i am keeping him forever

[here2bbtstrash]

*clears throat* *speaks into the tata mic* so, uh....... this thing still on?

#mposting #👀👀👀

[here2bbtstrash]

okay SO!

i have a long-running history of coming up with chaotic bangtan prompts to bother my friends with - once dubbed ~thot exercises~ ✨ - and i'm bored and one just popped into my head - so i figure maybe we can start doing them together 🥺

i shall present the prompt and my thoughts - feel free to comment, reblog, or even make a new post and share your own opinions if you feel differently! (just be sure to tag me hehe) there are no wrong answers - you're welcome to provide explanation for your choices, or absolutely no supporting evidence, just ~vibes~ 🤍

bts as iconic mall stores

namjoon: barnes & noble (or lowkey even borders, RIP queen) - dependable, cozy, and chock full of new things to learn and old favorites to revisit again and again. a respite from the overstimulation outside its doors - curl up with your latest find and stay for hours 📚

seokjin: if i say bass pro shops am i getting disowned 🧐 okok how about instead we go with hot topic (current era not the scary hot topic of my childhood lmao) - pop culture and anime references galore! adorable tchotchkes from all your favorite shows! you're definitely not leaving without at least one plushie! all in all, an underrated fave 🌸

yoongi: williams sonoma/sur la table - well-stocked, refined, and fancy enough that you lowkey wonder why you're allowed to be in here. what the fuck is a decanter? what purpose does molding ice into a sphere even serve? and why is that slotted spoon $45?! 🔪

hoseok: auntie anne's (or cinnabon, or jamba juice) - you spy it between the passing crowds and your whole face lights up. is that - could it be?! the stop that makes even the most chaotic of mall outings worthwhile. everyone loves it - and how could they not??? 🥨

jimin: tiffany's - elegant, stunning, timeless; you can't tear your eyes away whenever you pass by, it's all just too gorgeous, you have to stop and stare. (and wow, that model on the wall is stunning too 👀) of course it's far too expensive, but... can't a person dream?! 💍

taehyung: honestly? that new designer store that you swear wasn't here the last time you went shopping. when did we get a - gucci, burberry, LV?? whatever it is, it looks like a museum in there - and why is there a velvet rope and a bouncer outside? you don't even bother going in - everything is distinctly out of your league 👜

jungkook: hollister/abercrombie - it's dark as fuck, the aroma is certainly strong, and - hold up, why is everyone naked??? why is everything low rise AND cropped??? does that model have an EIGHT pack?? you're immediately overwhelmed - but the playlist is fire 🏝

#mposting #mprompts #we'll try that tag out and see if i ever remember to use it again lmao #obv this is just based off a classic american mall - but feel free to interpret for wherever you live! #and pls note i don't actually support any of these stores lmao #or consumerism in general #just a fun little hee hee ha ha

[here2bbtstrash]

eeeeee y'all it's snowing today 🥰 i'm not from a place where it snows (or if it does, it's like... once a year max and everything shuts down for an inch lmao) so i get excited every time it happens!!! it's so pretty 🥺

now i'm curious: do y'all get snow where you live 👀 a lot or a little or none at all?? and are you pro-snow or anti-snow???

#mposting #i feel like once i live here long enough the allure will wear off #and i'll just be like ugh not this #but for now i love her!!!!!

[here2bbtstrash]

oop, soft launch return from hiatus is go~*~ ✨

hi babes!!!! i miss y'all tons 🥺 how's life? we doing okay??? i have so much to update you on !!! i promise i'll make a nice big post soon 🤍

#mposting #back for real this time i swear !! #quite literally everything about my life has changed in the last 3 months lmao #it's been a trip #but omg i cannot WAIT to get back to properly writing #i miss it 😭

[here2bbtstrash]

it’s 4/20 who wants a chaotic moodboard 🍃

#mposting #happy holidaze

[here2bbtstrash]

love to the yoongi hoes from a hobi hoe who has been through it 😔🫂

#mposting #cmere future's gonna be okay #they will return thiccer than ever and we will shine dream smile again

[here2bbtstrash]

shoutout to anyone who has Parent Trauma™️ this time of year - love you, i'm here for you

#mposting #mine is flaring up bad the last few days woof #i really just want to hole up until the holidays are over #like why is this time of year so ass ksjndfkfdglfdkg #i am sick of feeling no joy and crying over nothing #BLEH

[here2bbtstrash]

hey y'all, couple things:

i'm taking the link for LDOMLT off my masterlist while i work on rewriting chapter 9 to remove the instances of racism (per this ask and this one). the finale is going to be postponed until those edits are done, so i can't say right now if/when i'll post it. it may take me some time to get the rewrites done as i have travel coming up.

i'm gonna let my queue run out and then i'll be offline for a couple of weeks going to see some of yoongi's shows. it's very likely this will turn into a longer hiatus; i've been struggling with motivation for a few months now and i think i just need some time.

i am very appreciative of everyone i have met on this website in the last 11 months and change - moots pls reach out for my discord if you want to keep in touch. thank you for being my friends 💜

#mposting #💜💜💜 #LDOMLT updates 🖥

[here2bbtstrash]

manifest a drabble - requests are open! 🔮

2023 is coming to a close, which means it's time to start reflecting on the last 12 months and setting our intentions for the new year! one of my favorite ways to do that is through the power of ✨manifestation✨ - and since i've had such a wild trip around the sun, i figured this time, why not manifest for more than just myself??

so let's get into it!

🔮 what does it mean to "manifest" something? ✨ put simply, manifestation is really nothing more than a belief in the power of positive thinking! it's based around the idea that if you speak (or in this case, write ✨) something like it's already true, you can speak it into actually happening your life! i recommend looking up "the law of attraction" if you want to learn more about the idea.

however, for the purposes of this drabble event, this is really just a big ol' inside joke we have on this corner of the internet: since i started writing in this fandom, i've had a tendency to ~predict~ a lot of things in my writing, both in bangtan's world and my own personal life. it's gotten to the point where my friends are a little afraid of how spot-on i can end up being (lmao) so i thought it could be a silly thematic way to inspire some writing requests. with that being said, please don't take any of this too seriously - we're just having fun!

🔮 how do i manifest a drabble? ✨ it's simple! take a moment to think about something you really want in your life, particularly in this upcoming new year. your ideas can be abstract or specific, directly related to bangtan or not, based in reality or totally out in delulu fantasy world - i'm open to anything!

when you've got something, go ahead and "speak it into existence" by dropping it into my ask box. you can also include additional specifics for the resulting drabble if you have any (genre, preferred member, whether you want smut or not, etc.) - but i reserve the right to take some creative freedom in how it ultimately turns out!

🔮 are there any rules for requesting drabbles? ✨ just a few basics!

i expect you to be 18 or older to submit a request (or to be on this blog at all!!).

i don’t have any hard and fast rules about things i won’t write (open to smut, angst, fluff, memxmem, you name it!).

however, i do also reserve the right not to fulfill a request if i'm uncomfortable with it or don't think i could do it justice - or if i end up not being able to get to them all! i'm just one lil human with a full-time job and a busy offline life, so please be kind and patient with me.

you're welcome to submit these on or off anon, and i'm open to multiple submissions per person, just please don't submit the same idea more than once! (you can always DM me if you're unsure whether or not an ask went through).

and finally, keep in mind that these will be drabbles, ideally under 1k words each, so please try and keep your ✨ manifestations ✨ drabble-sized!

🔮 how long do we have to manifest? ✨ your clock runs out when the new year rolls in - requests close at 11:59 PM (eastern) on december 31st! i'll fill any requests that inspire my muse throughout the month of december, and will probably continue to dip into my ask archives well into january, depending on how i'm feeling. as a reminder, this event is me getting back into writing after a 6 month+ break, so forgive me if i'm a little slow/rusty!!

hope y'all are excited 🔮 if you've made it this far - why not take your future into your hands and manifest a drabble today?! ✨

#mposting #manifest a drabble 🔮 #eeeeeee i'm so excited/nervous 🙈 #hit me with your ideas!!!!