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etoile-gracieuse · 9 months

Text

im so sorry yall im regressing into all sorts of old obsessions these days.

just saw a post talking abt why dex (and jack at one point) from check please would be banned from aux at parties (im not reblogging bc it is from 2020 and i dont want to argue with anyone i just want to explain why im right LMAO) and all of the reasons they gave were. What. i had a haus of my own, only for a significantly larger team (track not hockey), and i know my experience is not universal and there's definitely someone out there who Also had a team and a team house w big parties that disagrees w everything i say etc etc but like. it is so odd to see people's ideas abt how that goes when it's the complete opposite of my experience

me rambling abt expectations vs reality for music at parties hosted by doofus athletes for doofus athletes below the cut with a short aside about how canon's housing is deeply confusing to me

it's not just party music assumptions that confuse me, it's on all sorts of levels, like the haus being their only team related off campus space. we had... 11?? off campus houses?? and even if you narrow it down to just houses w mens distance runners in it (approx the same number of people as umich's hockey team rosters) then we had 5 houses plus underclassmen in dorms. like the math is not mathing if there's just the 3 bedroom plus attic haus. what 21/22 year old is choosing to live in a traditional dorm. there's just no way your options as an upperclassman are "be lucky enough to be one of Maybe 6 that can squeeze in if several people share rooms" or "live in dorms. hopefully you get a single" when theoretically they should be averaging like 6.5 people per class year. not the point, a gripe i have w canon really anyways, whatever.

but the collective sense of what goes for party music... i get that the canon era is like 2013 to 2018 or so but like i have met some of our class of 2018 alumni. and i feel preeetty confident in saying the below was also true then.

'he would play come on eileen [and get banned]' - im sorry but that was played at LEAST once per party at my athlete frat house, how is that an aux-bannable offense

"they would be like 'we want party music not sea shanties'" - shipping up to boston is a Thing (capital T deserved). and rattlin bog. do you know how many drinks i have finished while listening to/playing rattlin bog. that is a classic drinking game (i double checked to make sure this wasnt invented like right before i hit college or smthn and found a tweet referencing it from 2014). also we did actually several sea shanties at a st pattys party (our aux guy did have to be bullied into it. worth it) though i would not say that that one's a universal experience.

"this absolute ding dong [jack] says 'i like carrie underwood' and is never asked for his input again" - you're telling me you haven't gotten down in a house full of stolen signs that is falling apart at the seams to before he cheats???? i have watched 22 year old 6'7" men stand on tables and truly Perform their hearts out to this song and you're telling me that holster wouldn't pull that shit?

"plays country and gets banned" - see: before he cheats. but also our most popular party theme (aside from disco i think) was farm party. we had hay bales and apple bobbing. our number of international harvester streams hit double digits before midnight. i did not go to college in the south, or in the middle of nowhere, or any of that. even city kids like to get drunk in overalls and cowboy hats singing about farmers' daughters sometimes

"he just plays dad rock" - i think once again people underestimate how hard college kids go for shit like that when theyre drunk. i have watched people pole dance around a basement support beam to billy joel and bruce springsteen before (admittedly not super frequently but also often enough that i think i have 2-3 videos of it happening). ok actually im looking at a dad rock list and. what do you mean people havent danced to queen at parties. or the killers? or the fratellis? no chelsea dagger or henrietta? no american pie at 2am when youre so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open but youre leaning on your friends and swaying enough to call it dancing so it's ok?? no the boys are back in town???

#alcohol ment #check please #idk why i have such a need to correct the record on people's ideas of college parties full of athletes but #i just Do #i have literally exited out of fics bc the inaccuracies took me so far out of my ability to suspend my disbelief #it's a me problem!! im aware #this isn't to say dex and/or jack wouldnt get banned from aux #they totally would #but the reasons would not be the above

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ninaahelvar · 5 years

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Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (9/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: what? two chapters in one week! well one is a joke chapter, we get productive. i'm only here for the laughs. xx and i did promise slam poetry so,.......

10:31pm - Arya: So, what youre saying is that you were awkward cause you could see through my blanket?

10:32pm - Gendry: dude, your nipples were showing through it, it was a turn on and then because incredibly awkward when your fucking mum walked in.

10:32pm - Arya: and everything else?

10:32pm - Gendry: fucked up universe keeping us apart, sorry

10:33pm - Arya: awwww you’re so cute when you’re desperate

10:33pm - Gendry: i don’t think you’re allowed to complain when you fucking yell at me in a hallway begging me for an answer for something i wasn’t intentionally doing

10:33pm - Arya: i stand by my reaction

10:33pm - Gendry: ok then

10:33pm - Arya: alright

10:35pm - Arya: soooooooooooooo

10:35pm - Arya: you still in the palace?

10:37pm - Gendry: You’re seriously horny right now?

10:37pm - Arya: aren’t you

10:38pm - Gendry: literally always, but i’m still in my meeting

10:38pm - Arya: i’ll send you nudes to keep your spirits up

10:42pm - Gendry: pls for the love of the gods, don’t, cause my spirits won’t be the only thing that’s up

Arya chew on her lip as she read over his name. His apology. His casual confession of love. And she beamed.

10:43pm - Gendry: can i see you later?

10:43pm - Arya: yes

~~~~

Bran wheeled up to the stage, a few stares and whispers as one of the wheels caught on the last step. In the end, the manager of the club and a few bystanders had to help him. It wasn’t embarrassing, just a little awkward to have three grown men fondling his chair and not him.

He had invited Arya, who happened to bring along Gendry - funny how her security followed her absolutely everywhere, but Bran wasn’t. He thought it may have been some ableist crap, but when he saw Arya’s hand on his wrist as Bran edged towards the mic it was clear what the real reason was. Also the hickey on his neck was a dead give away.

Bran cleared his throat and Arya and Gendry stopped speaking. The open mic night was his idea. Bran had worked up this plan for a while, knowing full well he could get away with it - but now he was here, and only confidence and determination ran through him. Chaos wheeling - if you will. He took a breath, then spoke into the mic.

“I’m a theology major, I can take confession, even with this wheelchair condition. My legs stopped working when the car flipped, now it seems like I’m the one that’s dicked. I make light of the frame that holds me, even when it’s the thing that has made me lonely. I smile and wave, even when no one thinks I’m gay. The wheels tend to avert the eyes, even when I wanna talk to guys. I hear sympathy from women across the world, but I can still make your world whirl. I don’t wanna talk about how the chair feels or what kind of drink I want with my meal - I’m a grown ass man, a man that just can’t stand. I’m filled with love and wanting, and I’m a fun guy that deserves some flaunting. I’m a theology major, I can take confession. And yes, to answer your question, my dick does work, and I have a suggestion. Either mind your business, apologise for the transgression. Or date me, I can still fuck, no repression, in succession, with or without discretion.”

When everyone was roaring with laughter, and Bran was helped from the stage, he wheeled over to Arya and Gendry’s table. They were trying hard to catch their breaths, hands on the ribs as they tried to form sentences.

“Your highness,” Gendry started before promptly bursting into laughter, patting Bran on the shoulder as he wheezed out another laugh.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I wanted everyone to know that I still fuck.”

The pair looked at each other before banging their hands on the table, the entire venue a stream of laughter. It made Bran happy.

The next day, Robb texted the group an article.

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’

9:40am - Robb: “Prince Bran does the worst, most inappropriate poem at an open mic night”

9:40am - Robb: What the fuck did you do?

9:41am - Arya:

9:41am - Rickon: YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!!!!

9:41am - Sansa: i thought you were joking!

9:42am - Bran: I’m single, and the people deserve to know that my dick still works

9:42am - Jon: He’s right

9:43am - Davos: PRINCE BRAN - YOU DID NOT SAY THIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE

9:43am - Arya: he said, and a quote ‘to answer your question, my dick does work’

9:44am - Davos: I might actually have a heart attack

9:44am - Rickon: HE NEEDS SOME MILK

9:45am - Davos: i think this is it for today. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.

9:46am - Rickon: press f in the chat for a fallen brother

9:46am - Robb: oh...that’s cold davos

9:47am - Sansa: this year we lost our dear brother bran

9:47am - Bran: quit telling everyone i’m dead

9:48am - Sansa: sometimes i can still hear his voice

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: The family portrait for the Stark siblings is FINALLY out!

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: they are dressed in traditional Winterfell garments - only the royals now wear them. And they stink.

RobbWinterfell: @TheRoyalMemeFamily how can this be a family portrait if i’m not there

TheRoyalMemeFamily: @RobbWinterfell ohhhhh…..you must be that imposter king. We know you’re related to the actor Richard Madden

Sansa Stark of Winterfell @PrincessSansa: also, the only reason Arya likes wearing this outfit is cause hers comes with a sword

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: @PrincessSansa can confirm this outfit was made for a child

@AryaStark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa still as sharp as a real sword

@wetbreadvevo: so...the fucking starks have been posting pics from their family photoshoot this entire time and no one has questioned it? What the fuck

3:14pm - Jon: hey, mate, you know Richard Madden in gonna be at this event night, right

3:15pm - Robb: fuck….are you serious?

3:16pm - Jon: yep, saw the guest list last night

3:17pm - Robb: *typing*

3:17pm - Jon: yes it’s too late to cancel

3:17pm - Robb: fuck

3:18pm - Robb: can we just avoid him the entire night?

3:18pm - Jon: I mean sure but it’ll be a bit rude

3:19pm - Robb: okay new plan, I’ll greet him at the event, but if you see anyone taking pictures, tackle them to the ground

3:19pm - Robb: I don’t need the girls finding photographic evidence that I’ve met him

3:20pm - Jon: you know that I know you’ve met him before right

3:20pm - Robb: yes...but the girls are gonna give me so much shit, especially if we look buddy-buddy in the photos

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’

8:20am - Sansa: so

8:20am - Sansa: richard madden was at that even last night huh?

8:20am - Sansa: the fuck robb

8:21am - Robb: i’m very proud of my ability to ignore the man all evening

8:22am - Jon: he hid behind a plant at one stage

8:22am - Jon: yes, everyone noticed

8:23am - Bran: who’s the idiot now

8:24am - Arya: still you

8:25am - Bran:

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: rare photo of Arya Stark growing up

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’

2:11am - Bran: you guys

2:11am - Bran: anyone awake

2:12am - Arya: yes but i’m trying to sleep

2:13am - Bran: too late now fucknuts

2:14am - Bran: you ever think about davos hears the message alerts for this chat and just kinda….dies inside?

2:15am - Sansa: oh for sure

2:16am - Jon: I’ve seen his eyes close and pray for it

2:18am - Robb: once in a meeting, i swear i saw him almost throw his phone across the room cause you guys wouldn’t shut up and he doesn’t know how to mute his phone

2:20am - Rickon:

2:25am - Davos: i think this is how you kids say it

2:25am - Davos: mood

2:25am - Bran: DBIGIWEBGOUWR

2:25am - Arya: IUQWBIUBUIBUIBIUNOI

2:25am - Sansa: WTFFFFFFFFFFFF

2:25am - Jon: i’m fucking dreaming

2:25am - Rickon: I CAN’T BREATHE

2:25am - Robb: im

2:26am - Arya: WHAT IN THE WORLD IM LIVING

2:26am - Davos: go to bed

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: a queen can party

@PrincessSansa: @TheRoyalMemeFamily we stan a legend

Mother of Dragons @QueenDany: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa i seem to remember this was at least two bottles of wine in for you

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @TheRoyalMemeFamily pretty sure you were 4, but who was counting

@DailyMail: it’s highly inappropriate for a sitting monarch and other royal members to be out drinking and showcasing that online - read the article here

@QueenDany: @DailyMail

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @DailyMail

The Memes of the Royalest Kind@TheRoyalMemeFamily:Royal bodyguard spotted yet AGAIN with a different model

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: who is he

@PodrickPayne: @TheRoyalMemeFamily

Arya ‘Not Today’ Stark @AryaStark:

@JonSnow: @AryaStark 👀

@PrincessSansa: @AryaStark 👀

@RealBranStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RickonStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RobbWinterfell: @AryaStark 👀

@RickonStark:

@RickonStark: That’s it. That’s the tweet

8:29pm - Pod: so what youre saying is that i’m a chad?

8:29pm - Sansa: no a himbo is necessarily a chad

8:30pm - Pod: im more himbo than chad

8:31pm - Sansa: you can be a chad if you’re not a himbo but you can’t be a himbo if you’re not a chad

8:32pm - Gendry: you guys know this is the group chat right?

8:33pm - Sansa: now gendry is a chad

8:35pm - Gendry: low blow sansa

#gendrya #got fic #gendry x arya #arya x gendry #gendrya fic #my fics #chivalry fell on its sword

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jahnicia · 7 years

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1-84!

It took forever to do this and I’m not sure if I even did them all but here we go i guess lol

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not really

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

I think so, but the pain makes you think it isn’t

3. Are you a virgin?

4. Are you in a relationship?

nope

5. Are you in love?

yes

6. Are you single this year?

yes

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

Not even gonna try

9. Describe your perfect mate

Not even gonna try with this one either

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not really, because is it really love?

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Someday

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends what kind, probably not

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Kinda yeah

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

yeah

15. Do you have any piercings?

One on each lobe and an industrial

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Dos as of right now

17. Do you like kissing in public?

yes

20. Do you shower every day?

yeah

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Nah probably not

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably not

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Can and have

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Probably not but i’d love to be

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

yes

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yeah, and what a lie

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

nope

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope, not unless you count when I was younger and the dude i was dating made a sim of me, married his sim with mine, made a second sim of me and then cheated on the first with the second

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Nope and i wouldn’t ever

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Mm, kinda but not seriously. Probably my nose tho

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Too many times to count

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

sadly

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

nope

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

nah

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

yeah

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Not hate hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yeah actually

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

currently

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

A poem a few times when I was down

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Ugh no

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Mm… not long

43. How long was your longest relationship?

2 years and 9 months about

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Like 4 or something maybe

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Just my one

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Like 10? I don’t remember

47. How old are you?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Nothing. Smile and walk away probably

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Don’t have one

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Every time.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

In theory, yes. In practice, never.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

nah since im not talking to anyone

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

yes

55. Share a relationship story.

56. State 8 facts about your body

1) I have a really dark beauty mark in one of my finger crotches

2) I have stretch marks on my knees, I have no idea how that happened :/

3) My eyes are dark brown but they look black

4) I have long fingers

5) I have a small mouth

6,7,8) I have no idea what else to say

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Too much and not enough time. I’d never be able to say all I’d want to

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1) If you can make me laugh at least once, you’re halfway there

2) Kindness

3) Random gestures, not like buying me things but just little actions

4) I really like seeing how guys interact with kids. So I guess if you’re good with kids, thats a plus

5) Food, if they can cook

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

icon

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Like three years I think

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their eyes

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Well for me the sexiest thing is eye contact during sex, major turn-on

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Any type of purposeful interaction with someone else’s genitals?

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Being in a relationship with one person and having sex/relations with another person, without the knowledge of the other person in your relationship. Plus the continuance of the actions behind the person’s back. Something like that.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

Not sharing that one

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

I guess in theory it would be something like a trip to the aquarium followed by a walk on the beach, then food and then just cruising around

68. What is your sexual orientation?

straight

69. What turns you off?

Bad hygiene, rude attitude, hella cocky in a bad way

70. What turns you on?

Basically anything besides the above, specifically eye contact during sex though

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Can’t even remember it smh

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Depends on the person/how they sound

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

A date where we’d watch the sunset and stargaze on the beach or make me a mixtape/playlist with sappy, feeling some type of way songs

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Height, they gotta be at least 5’4”

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

This one dude actually took the time out to make me a playlist with songs that he thought I’d like

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I’m always doing sweet things for people

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Eh I guess it depends on the situation and ages of the two (like if one was still in high school or underage or whatever) but idk

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

People from irl follow me so cannot lol

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

This one day when I saw pictures and tweets from something that i was supposed to be at and couldn’t be at

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

My best friend like last month

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

My best friend, this one dude in my communications class, this one dude at my school with a brown herschel backpack, an old friend from high school, the dude i’m still in love with

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

One of my best friends

83. Who was your first kiss with?

The one that still holds my heart

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Distance and what came with it.

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