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#my white ass can handle hot cheetos but if you try and make me eat anything hotter i will Look At You Harshly
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Top 10 BEST chips I’m right you’re wrong
I love love loooooove giving unsolicited opinions on junk food (and just ranking food and drinks in general) so you get to see my chip opinions clog up your dash. I’m in the mood to make a list of potato chips and if you don’t like it too bad for you.  My tastebuds are God and they know what’s up and they must tell their divine word. 
10. Pizza Pringles
I don’t even fuck with other types of Pringles ever since I tried the pizza flavor because I am absolutely convinced that these are the top tier of the Pringles. Pringles gets points for having pretty much the only pizza flavored chips that I know about.  But these still get the 10 spot because tube. I’m a potato chip garbage disposal I need a whole-ass bag of chips. The tube simply aint enough. 
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9.  Herr’s Carolina Reaper Cheese Curls
For some reason I’m only ever able to find these at 5 Below??? I’m guessing it’s because these are considered a novelty but they are genuinely really good. They’re not as hot as advertised (Carolina reaper is listed as the very last ingredient and there’s probably barely any of it there) but they still have a kick and do not fuck around. Like, just enough of a kick that these will hurt you but it’s a good kind of pain and worth it if you can handle spice. The flavor is more like a spicy barbecue sauce but it works. If you’re like, super-duper white though and a spice wimp than you probably should sit this one out. 
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8.  Hawaiian Sweet Maui Onion
It’s been literal years since I’ve last been able to get my hands on a bag of these but I still remember them because they were that good. They make pretty much any other onion flavored chip their bitch. I’ve been trying to hunt these down but I think only certain kinds of ~hipster~ grocery stores seem to carry them in my area. 
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7.  Cheetos (Regular)
A classique. Pretty much anyone whose had these before probably expected them to be on this list. Cheetos are simply iconic. I don’t even need to go in depth here. The original Cheetos are a masterpiece but I’ll be honest they aren’t my favorite Cheeto though. 
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6.  White Cheddar Cheetos Puffs
These are my favorite Cheeto. They’re just so....stuff-in-your-mouth-able. The white cheese dust is basically cocaine to me. And they like, melt in your mouth too? Simply Cheetos Puffs more like Simply be my wife. 
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5.  Ranch Bugles
Ah yes...little witch hats for the fingies. Bugles are so much fun to eat? They get lots of unique shape points. And big points for the corny, salty flavor. And in my opinion, out of all the ranch flavored convenience store snacks I think Bugles have the better ranch flavor, even more so than Cool Ranch Doritos even. I might make some people mad with that opinion, but I’m right. 
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4. Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos
The best Doritos flavor, hands down. Compared to spicy sweet chili, most of the other Dorito flavors seem more one-dimensional. Being both spicy and sweet gives these Doritos a more complex flavor profile. Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch could never. I really like how these have a respectable heat but are still mild enough that you can bigtime binge on them. 
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3.  Ruffles Double Crunch Hot Wings
I like these for a similar reason that I like the Doritos. They’re not that spicy but they’re still spicy enough to notice it. A lot of “spicy” snacks out there aren’t really spicy at all because...white people. They actually did get the taste of buffalo sauce on these chips pretty accurate and I was impressed with them. I know that a regular version exists out there, but for some reason I only ever find the double crunch one. But in this case I think the crunch might work in its favor because it holds the flavor better. BTW, ridged chips are superior to smooth chips. 
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2.  Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream
The #1 chip in my ranking is usually hard to obtain so when I go chip shopping, Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream is usually my go-to because of how easy they are to find. They’re popular and deserve it because they are everything a chip should be. Crunchy, salty, cheesy, sour creamy....if anyone doesn’t know, I fucking love sour cream and would eat it straight with a spoon if it weren’t for the fact that I’m probably lactose intolerant and it would be seen as insane. Like...Ruffles are shaped like that so you could dip them but these don’t need dip. They already taste like the best dip ever. 
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1. Honey Butter Chips 
Not to be Korean on main in my mostly American chip ranking but...these are the best chip. Honey and butter sounds like it wouldn’t work together, much less on a potato chip but holy shit does it work. I’m agnostic but when I eat these chips I see pretty much every God ever believed in or conceived. I need the rest of the world outside of South Korea to start recognizing and getting in on these. Please I’m begging you non-asian people make these chips become trendy the same way y’all did with Pocky. I need these to become more assessable because as of now the only stores that I can find them are the Korean supermarkets across state lines near Chicago that are like two hours away from my house. This in unacceptable. I need them readily available at the nearest Pick N’ Save. Also side note look how sexy this bag is. 
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*Before you complain about about Lays not being on this list at all, Lays Sour Cream and Onion would’ve had the 11th spot if it’s any consolation 
*Also to anyone outside the US whose gonna go “How Americentric of you [insert chip from your country] is far superior!!!” mail me some potato chips. I fucking mean it like legitly getting to try foreign potato chips would make me immeasurably happy, but I obviously can’t easily get them here 
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rustybutterknife · 4 years
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Yo can I get some Beetlejuice headcannon. Just like, some weird shit idk. Anything. I just like reading headcannons xD
Of course!
His eyes glow reflect light (like a raccoon)
So when he goes into Lydia’s room at night (to wake her up to get up to no good) she wakes up and just sees two glowing yellow eyes looking down at her
Needless to say she screamed and punched him straight in the nose
She turns on the light and sees BJ fall straight on his ass, holding his nose as it’s bleeding
It was a fun story to tell at breakfast the next day
Also explains why BJ’s covered in blood
He chews on EVERYTHING to keep his fangs in check
(Also it’s a good stim)
The Deetz’s were tired of finding bite marks on places they weren’t supposed to be (specifically their shoes) so they buy him teething toys that are meant for babies, but he like em.
His favorite one is a necklace with these chunky black silicone pearls
He likes it because after a while of chewing, the pearls become softer
His favorite stims are flapping his hands, this one where he holds his hands and twists his arms and holds it to his face while rocking side to side, and going as fast as he can on a spinny chair. (Charles has one in his office, he’ll let BJ use it when he’s upset or he just has a lot of extra energy he needs to burn off)
He also really likes pressure stims, so he’ll sometimes get the Maitlands or Lydia to sit on his back
They found out you can make him shut up and calm down this way when he was being a chaotic little shit and Lydia told him to stop or else
“Or else what!?”
“Or else… I’ll… I’ll… I’ll sit on you!”
“Oh yeah!? I’d like to see you t-!”
And just like that he’s on the floor and Lydia’s on his back
He goes quiet for a minute while Lydia teases him before she goes
“Did I just find your off switch?”
The Maitlands catch on to it
You’ll sometimes see them having late movie nights and they’re all sitting on top of BJ
They’re all fairly light so he can handle it
He’s a pretty grimy nasty boy and he likes it that way (also it helps with dysphoria)
So when the Maitlands tell him he needs to shower if he wants to join them on the bed
He has a fit
It takes 2 hours before they can come to the agreement that he’ll shower, as long as the Maitlands join in too
Especially since they haven’t showered since they died so it seemed like a good idea
He’s kinda hesitant to undress because he’s self conscious of his top surgery scars and because he’s a little on the chunky side
They coax him into it with praise and kisses
The Deetz’s shower is pretty big thanks to renovations, so they can all fit
The water turns a gross murky greyish-brown when BJ steps in
It takes a good half hour of constantly washing him before he’s fully clean
They used up about half of the Shampoo bottle and ⅔ of the body wash
Sorry Charles
They also borrowed some of Charles’ clothes so BJ could have something to wear
Sorry Charles pt. 2: electric boogaloo
He’s a lot more pink and his hair is a lot softer (head and body)
Suddenly there’s knocking on the door
“Hey, Delia, how much longer are you gonna be in there?”
Ohshit.jpeg
They all quickly wrap up in clean towels and Adam opens the door a crack so only his head is poking out
“Hey Lydia, it’s me, sorry… uh… what do you need?”
“Oh! Sorry, I just needed to grab my hair bru- Is that Bj and Barbra in there?”
Barbra and Adam turn bright red while BJ has a shit eating grin spread across his face.
“You know what, I don’t even wanna know. Can I just get my brush? It’s in the top drawer on the right.”
Barbra nods and shyly passes her the hair brush.
“Shit, Bj, you’re really pink!”
“Please just leave so we can get dressed!”
“Alright, you got it dudes.”
They don’t talk about that incident.
They do keep BJ from being a stinky bastard
He and Charles try to bond
Bj has a hard time remembering his name (Chuckles. Charlie. And once, Gabriel.)
They bond over going to the grocery store together.
The Maitlands can’t go, so it’s just BJ and the Deetz’s.
He’s able to pass off as their chaotic college aged son
He likes to stick his head out the window during car rides
They sometimes have to keep BJ at home if they wanna go to certain stores because he’s gotten himself banned from them
He’s gotten banned from a grocery store because he’s pulled an Eddie Brock and climbed into the lobster tank
The only stores he behaves at are Lydia’s favorite places
La michoacana, the mall, and the corner store
He likes the “breather snacks” at the corner store
He’s pretty old and has a pretty busy schedule of being a bio exorcist so he hasn’t gotten around to trying foods from the 21st century
So one day Lydia buys a whole bunch of snacks she thinks BJ would like and they have a little taste test party
She also snuck a couple of snacks just to see his reaction (warheads, takis, xxtra flamin hot Cheetos)
When he tried warheads, he just went “oh, this is pretty ni-“ then immediately scrunched up his face. Think of the meme with the cat and the banana.
Lydia almost had an asthma attack from laughing so hard.
He will eat anything you give him, no matter what.
Some of the things he’s eaten are a 5 pound gummy bear (in one sitting), a bath bomb, chocolate laxatives, straight up hot sauce, and shaving cream
He’s a slut for lil Debbie snacks
He also really loves hot Cheetos and mazapán
Lydia once bought him a full pack of mazapán and it was gone within 3 days
Also once, while sleep deprived and talking to the Maitlands, she referred to him as “Beechito” (which, for those of you who don’t know, adding -ito to the end of a name is a masculine term of endearment.)
Adam and Barbra quickly catch onto it and Beetlejuice has to ask why the Maitlands keep calling him “beejeetoh” (they have the white accent)
Lydia shyly explains and he’s the embodiment of the ;w; emoji
SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG I HAD A LOT OF FUN-
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noonmutter · 5 years
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*Grinch grin* Make me admit something... DO THEM ALL.
Pff like I haven’t had to do this rodeo before come at me scrub
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
That’s either my realtor or my mom, so no.
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
No? Why on earth would I?
3. Have you taken someones virginity?
Not to my knowledge.
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
Absolutely. Trust is the core of a relationship, without it you’re just acquaintances who maybe make eye contact sometimes.
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
From the phrasing I assume this means “like-like” and since I live with my fiance, yes.
( I really did answer all of them at once but I’m not enough of a turd to fill everybody’s dashboard so the rest are behind the cut! )
6. What are you excited for?
Boring work stuff that makes little sense to anybody who doesn’t work with me but is going to be just as jazzed about it as I am because they’re FINALLY FIXING SOMETHING I SAID WAS A PROBLEM A YEAR AGO–AGAIN
7. What happened tonight?
Um… it’s four in the afternoon here.
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
I think it’s disgusting when anybody gets wasted. You aren’t even conscious of whatever fun you might be having and you sure as shit aren’t tasting whatever you’re drinking anymore. Quit that.
9. Is confidence cute?
Only in the context of someone who’s about to get the living shit beaten/embarrassed out of them for being confident against all advice to the contrary (”He’s gonna go punch a tarrasque in the nads! How cute!”). Otherwise confidence is just a good thing and generally rad.
10. What is the last beverage you had?
I just finished my second coke of the day about ten seconds ago and am debating a third.
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
“Fully” is the operative word and that number is zero of any sex.
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
Probably. It’s hard not to get them when you’re at a certain size.
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
Work, go home, either raid or RP, and sleep. I do that basically every Saturday night.
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
Ideally a house that isn’t being sold by an idiot, but probably something less interesting like Starbucks.
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
Hey @dwyndel would you consider what we’re doing “going out”?
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
I mean, I hope so? Growth is important.
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
My fiance and my mom.
18. The last time you felt broken?
hahaha “last time”
19. Have you had sex today?
hahaha “today” I haven’t gotten laid in years. plural.
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
what the hell kinda question is this that’s not something you admit to, that’s a question that answers itself and the answer is either “no” because you aren’t or “yes” because the question made you realize it
21. Are you in a good mood?
Pretty good, yeah
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
Yes but I’ll be peeing literally the entire time
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
Probably. I got a lot of my looks from him, which aggravates the shit out of me since he’s a terrible person
24. What do you want right this second?
A nap
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
‘Can I watch’‘Were they hot’‘Do they like sharing’‘Your breath smells like infidelity’
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Yep, white streak included
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
Probably not, but there’s a huuuuuuge difference between “doesn’t make me laugh” and “does not have a compatible sense of humor with mine.” Some people just aren’t funny. Like me. I’m not funny at all. Jesus am I ever not funny. Wow.
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
A fucking Spanish Inquisition reference from Dan Avidan in Game Grumps that I’m still mad at myself for laughing at
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
Eh, not really. I don’t have homesickness pangs or people-aren’t-here pangs unless I know I can’t get to them because they’re not in a place where I can go. Otherwise I’d be a sad puppy every time I went to work
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
No. Some people are not worth anyone’s time or effort and often they know it and abuse people’s willingness to forgive or try.
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
Hatred is hard to pull out of me unless you personally did something really offensive and permanent to me. I get tired of people but I very rarely hate them. The last “boy” (he is very much an adult, calling him “boy” is fuckin’ wierd) I talked to was my supervisor and I rather like Phill
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
I am engaged. You tell me.
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
Not only did I just say I’m contemplating a third Coke at 4 in the afternoon, I have a bucket to collect pull tabs in for the fiance to make chainmail out of
34. Listening to?
My coworkers chattering in the office around me. I could listen to music if I wanted, but the office headsets suck ass and can’t handle bass of any kind
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
Not often. My handwriting is awful and I try not to write by hand at all, but if I do, it’ll probably be in pen
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
Either at home or running errands
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Shit no
38. Who did you last call?
Not counting work calls, I try not to call people if I can possibly avoid it. Uhhhhhhh…probably my mom.
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
hahaha “dance”
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Because she was there and smoochable
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
Haven’t had cupcakes in a VERY long time, have had very good muffins from Costco this week though
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
Nope, they live in Virginia and I don’t
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
Am I misunderstanding what you do to attract a mate?
44. Do you tan in the nude?
I don’t tan.
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
Nope, that’s my smooch and I’m keeping it
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Sorta. RP is kinda like talking, right?
47. Who was the last person to call you?
Realtor.
48. Do you sing in the shower?
Not really. If anything I hum; being able to hear myself too well makes me get quieter
49. Do you dance in the car?
Drum stuff out, finger-piano on the steering wheel, occasionally headbang.
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
Once, and I’d love to again. The first/last time I fired a bow I took ten shots and bullseyed six.
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
College. Never doing that shit again.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
That’s sort of the point of them. The question isn’t are they cheesy, it’s are they good.
53. Is Christmas stressful?
Of course it is. The only time it’s not is when you’re too young/old to have conscious thoughts, because even young children worry endlessly over what they’re getting or if they’re getting anything or what if santa thinks they were bad
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
I fucking love pierogi but I’ve only ever had the frozen ones from Mrs. T’s, Dwyn and I keep saying we should find time to make some and see how much better it is
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Don’t really do pies of any kind except for French Silk. Fruit pie filling is a wierd texture I don’t really enjoy
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Architect and animator
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Enough to be unsettled late at night by noises I can’t identify, not enough to be unwilling to sleep in an allegedly haunted house
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All day every day. No joke somedays I wonder if people who think they have psychic powers are just people with really persistent deja vu, it feels like magic
59. Take a vitamin daily?
vitamin coke or vitamin coffee
60. Wear slippers?
Technically the shoes I wore to work today could count as slippers. I call them my crazy-people shoes because they have no shoelaces and no fittings
61. Wear a bath robe?
only when it’s really cold in the house
62. What do you wear to bed?
Nothing
63. First concert?
Blind Guardian at the Pop’s in Chicago when I was 13. It was their first US tour and my parents are boss people who really wanted to humor their kid. People at the show realized this tiny barely-teenager in the back knew every word to every song and pulled me to the front, and there was no barrier between crowd and stage, so I got to lean on the stage and got smirked at by the guitarist. After the show I shook Hansi Kirsch’s hand and got my copy of Imaginations From The Other Side signed. Good times
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target
65. Nike or Adidas?
Neither, they’re both overpriced shit
66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts, although I’d rather have cashews
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
I don’t know any taylor swift songs nor do I care
69. Ever take dance lessons?
Nope
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Hadn’t given that one any thought beyond helping her job hunt in the immediate sense. I can see her doing costuming on a professional level eventually, though
71. Can you curl your tongue?
I never know what people mean by this. I can make an “O” shape with my tongue but that’s it, I never figured out that clover shape
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Multiple. I almost went national in …something-before-sixth-grade-because-I-remember-beating-sixth-graders but refused to go because I wanted to stop being stared at (seriously, I just didn’t want to go because I hated being on a stage). I’m sure that frustrated my mom
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
A few times, but not often
74. What is your favorite book?
One of the Discworld novels, but the answer is ever-changing because they’re all pretty goddamn great. Picking one out of a hat, Unseen Academicals is pretty rad just because it’s got such a great take on [thing that spoils the plot if I say it]
75. Do you study better with or without music?
I was not a studying kid, I was a “retains everything as long as nobody stops me from doodling while they’re teaching and it’s not about numbers” kid. Thinking about it I was probably doing some eidetic memorization tricks without realizing it, my fact retention is/was top notch when I cared
76. Regularly burn incense?
Nope, I have over 100 allergies and a lot of them are to plants so I’m not risking that bullshit
77. Ever been in love?
I am engaged to be married right now
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Does Critical Role count?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
H…alestorm? I think? It’s actually been a while
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot plz
81. Tea or coffee?
Tea if it’s just the drink itself, coffee if I can put a ton of shit in it so I can only barely taste the actual coffee
82. Favorite type of cookie?
Does Not Contain Raisins
83. Can you swim well?
I can swim, Iunno about well? I’ve never been in danger of drowning for lack of swimming ability, I guess
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
What an interesting question, it hadn’t occurred to me there are people who can’t until now
85. Are you patient?
When I choose to be
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
If it’s affordable and the right band, band. Otherwise DJ and karaoke because HELL YEAH GET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY DRUNK AND LET THEM SING
87. Ever won a contest?
A smattering of spelling bees, a couple art contests, summer reading competitions. Nerd shit, yanno? Although I’ve won those water gun shooting gallery games at Six Flags every time there’s enough people to play, too
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope
89. Which are better black or green olives?
Olives are gross
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
It’s sex, who cares
91. Best room for a fireplace?
Living room and/or bedroom
92. Do you want to get married 
I am engaged right now
@theengraver EAT ME
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pwjins · 7 years
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just neighbor things
summary: your new apartment life starts out rather bad, but luckily, your odd friendship with your new neighbor helps keep both yours and his life just a little bit more manageable. member: seongwoo genre: fluff?? neighbor!au???  a/n: i literally have no idea what im doing i’m so sorry  insp. by these au prompts!!
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congrats
You just got kicked out of your parents’ house
And now you’re trying to haul 50 pounds of stuff into your new and kind of shitty apartment
But as a 3rd year college student with a questionable major 
Who has no idea what the fuck they’re doing
This was a pretty good start for you
The rent for the apartment was pretty cheap considering it was small
But anything you could afford with your half assed part time job at the local supermarket was good enough for you
You finally lugged the last of your boxes into your apartment, letting out a heavy breath
Instead of throwing yourself on the floor and rewarding yourself with a nap
You figured you should be a good new neigbor in the apartment complex
So you showered and freshened up, making yourself look less sleep-deprived and somewhat presentable
You rushed out your door and knocked on the door of the apartment to the left of yours
You were hopeful to make some new friends in the complex and get along with your neighbors
Since you’d be living here for a while
However, your hopes went down the drain when you heard the sound multiple cats screeching behind the door
And angry footsteps moving forward and swinging the door open
Which probably would’ve hit you in the face if you didn’t step back
You were faced with an elderly woman, holding a chubby cat in her arms that looked as pissed as she was
Still, you decided to be confident and move on, greeting her with, “hi! my name’s Y/N! i just moved–”
Before you could even finish your introduction she glared at you with her angry old woman eyes and cut you off
“new neighbor? ANOTHER kid?”
You were unable to even respond to her as she kept annoyedly complaning about something like “noisy kids” and “don’t know what they’re doing” and “no decency”
The second she finished her thoughts, she shut the door 
Without even greeting you, leaving you alone in the hallway
“nice to meet you too i guess” you mumbled
Okay, so not a great start
But hey you still had your other neighbor to greet who hopefully wasn’t an ass
With new high hopes, you knocked on the door a couple times, waited for a minute or two
But there was no response
You decided to knock a few more times aaaaaand still no response
Giving up, you figured that your neighbor was either dead, asleep, or out of the house
You really hoped it wasn’t the first one
As you were about to turn and head back to your apartment
A voice a couple feet down the hall called out to you
“hey, what’re you in front of my apartment for?” they said, sounding slightly annoyed
You stiffly turned around, not wanting to make yet another bad first impression
You were expecting another angry person to be yelling at you
Boy oh boy you were SO wrong
The second you turned around and faced the person, you swear your heart probably stopped
Oh my god he’s hot
You were faced with a tall guy, subtle dark circles underneath his eyes and a family size bag of hot cheetos in his arms like it was his firstborn son
But oh man did he rock that sleep deprived look 
He was probably around the same age as you, college student you assumed
You struggled to get your words out, only managing to sputter, “uhh i’m y/n! i’m your new neighbor?”
He raised an eyebrow, looking at you up and down and completely iGNORED YOU
Before unlocking his apartment door and disappearing inside without saying another word to you
Good job, y/n, first day in and you’ve pissed off both neighbors
He might’ve been cute 
But that didn’t mean anything if he was as much of an asshole as the elderly cat woman next door
You sighed and decided to wave the white flag for the day, retreating back into your apartment to rest
Your place wasn’t exactly super well furnished
So at most right now, you had a crappy mattress, some blankets, and your best friend, the coffee maker
But you just had to deal with it until you unpacked everything else so you crashed on your mattress
And scrolled through your social media until you knocked out
As if your first day/night in your new place couldn’t get worse
You heard some loud and rapid knocking at your door, waking you up from your sleep
It was dark inside your apartment and outside the window too
So you pulled out your phone to see what time it was, squinting at your bright screen in the dark
3:17AM
Literally who the fuck was bothering you at 3am
You groaned and threw your blankets off the mattress and got up to head towards the incessant knocking
When you finally got to the door, you threw it open to see the dumbass trying to bother you
“i’m tired what do you wan–” you grumbled, unable to finish your sentence when you saw once again
Your undeniably good looking neighbor from earlier who didn’t look too sober at the moment
He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, but still damn
His brown hair looked slightly messy and he wore a plain t shirt over black jeans, and the three cute little moles on his cheek caught your attention
Before you could even ask if he was okay because he clearly did not look like it
He immediately fell against the doorframe, leaning and holding onto it as to not fall over
And he began rambling endlessly without even giving you a second to comprehend what he was trying to say
“hi i know it’s like 3am i’m so soryr but i’m just really tired and really drunk right now and i dont’ know WHERE my keys are and the old lady next door scares me with her gardening shears so please hav mercy on me and let me crash for the night plus you’re pretty and i know we just met but i think i like you so hi hey how’s it going”
And with that, he fell asleep against the doorframe
what the fuck
One part of you just wanted to leave him there and go back to sleep
But then another part of you didn’t want to be sued for abandoning a helplessly sleep deprived guy
So you tugged him forward so that his body fell over your shoulders and you dragged his RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY BODY into your apartment
jesus christ i just wanted to sleep
You didn’t have any couch or chair to lie him down in
Nor did you have the strength or patience to lug him all the way to your mattress
So you decided just to leave him on the floor by the kitchen and threw a blanket over him
You mentally pat yourself on the back for being a good citizen of the world and crawled back into bed
Right as you were about to fall asleep again, loud snoring began to echo through the apartment
You sighed in regret, contemplating if bringing him in was even a good idea
But you just ignored it and pulled your pillow over your ears and finally got to sleep
The next morning, you tiptoed into the kitchen pouring out some cereal into two bowls and making yourself a mug of black coffee
As you waited for the water to boil, you walked over to the sleeping body in your living room
You squatted down in front of him and nudged his shoulders lightly
He didn’t budge at all so you started nudging him harder, basically almost shaking his shoulders till he started moving
His eyes finally cracked open and he began stretching his arms a bit before sitting up and rubbing his eyes
He looked around your apartment which was stilled filled with boxes and tons of junk lying around
Poor guy looked so confused until he saw you sitting in front of him
“well this doesn’t look like my apartment”
“no shit it isn’t” you replied
“i think you’ve got things backwards, first you wake me up at 3am drunk as hell, crash in my living room, eat my cereal, and i don’t even know your name yet” you said
He struggled to stifle a laugh as you got up to hand him a good ol bowl of Fruit loops and a fork
He accepted the bowl but held up the fork with an eyebrow raised at you
“look i just moved in and i can’t find my spoons so you’re just gonna have to eat with a fork” you shrugged, shoving fruit loops down your throat
“funny because my apartment has all spoons but i can’t find my forks,” he laughed, “the name’s seongwoo, ong seongwoo, but you can just call me ong”
You smiled at his humorous personality– he was definitely growing on you
“y/n, but maybe you would’ve know that already if you didn’t oh so gracefull ignore me yesterday,” you chuckled
“Yeah, sorry about that, running on 2 hours of sleep and hot cheetos can make a guy moody sometimes” he responded
And so began your long morning of eating cereal and talking with your new neighbor, seongwoo
You learned that he was a year older than you and went to college about 15 minutes away from yours
He used to live on the on-campus dorms but got evicted by his roommates after his 2nd year for being too noisy
And apparently the person that used to live your apartment before you came was some middle-aged man that would steal his coupons from the mailbox
So he was relieved that that DEMON was finally gone
His other neighbor was yet another old lady who was overly obsessed with her plants and would try to cut him with her shears if he got too close
The two of you bonded over complaining about old cat lady and old plant lady, laughing over your encounters with them
After demolishing your box of fruit loops and talking all morning, you asked, “hey since i basically housed and fed you for the last 8 hours, can you like please help me unpack”
He happily agreed and you both spent the rest of that afternoon unpacking the boxes and uncluttering the apartment
While you would unload the rest of the plates and bowls into your lower cabinets
seongwoo would be putting away the cups and mugs onto the higher shelves that you couldn’t reach
Finally you had some chairs and other furniture to fill the space so that you weren’t eating on the floor or with forks all the time
You finished unpacking nearly all of the boxes, leaving some in the closet for another day to handle
After you guys finished, you exchanged numbers in case you guys needed something in the future
“if you need anything or need to drunk crash at my place whenever you lose your keys, just knock really loudly,” he laughed, heading out the door and back into his own apartment
Turned out his keys were under the mat the entire time
After that incident, you guys just started depending on each other for a lot of things
Because you guys were basically each other’s only friend in a building of angry elderly women
If you ever needed something from a tall shelf and couldn’t get it, you’d just knock violently on the wall for seongwoo to hear on the other side
If the landlord was inspecting rooms to make sure they weren’t being trashed
You’d help seongwoo hide all of his junk in the closet to make his apartment at least look clean
So that he wouldn’t get evicted from ANOTHER place
Whenever you’d forget to bring one of your textbooks to class, seongwoo had your spare key and was only one text away
Would drive all the way to your school just to drop it off so you didn’t fail chemistry
And of course there were nights where you’d both go out to drink together just for fun and it didn’t matter whose apartment you both crashed in
As long as you could at least get in to one of them
Yeah both of you tend to forget your keys a lot LOL
Studying for your midterms and having a mental breakdown?
No prob, seongwoo’s got you
He’d come over with a bag of hot cheetos, a 6-pack of dr. pepper, and popsicle he bought from some ghetto vendor down the street
“i heard you slamming your head against your textbook from across the wall so i thought i’d come help”
Whenever he was sick of his job at his college’s campus cafe and wanted to go home, you’d call his phone and act like you were his dying relative
So his boss would let him go home early
And MOVIE NIGHTS
Every friday you guys have a ritual where you alternate between crashing at each other’s place and watching a movie until you both fall asleep
To cool off from the stress of being poor, tired students
But sometimes you guys argue over what movies you want to watch
Or what you guys eat as a snack
“bitch you picked the movie last week now give me the remote before i feed your house keys to the neighbor’s cat”
BUT IN THE END YOU GUYS ALWAYS HELP EACH OTHER OUT
Like you could knock on his door at 2AM just to rant
And he would let you in and feed you stale poptarts until you calmed down
Or you guys will do face masks together and do some EXTREME pore cleansing while watching reality tv shows
The only thing you guys can’t depend on each other for though is food
One time you barged into seongwoo’s place and begged, “i’m out of food please help i really can’t adult today”
And he’d laugh at you and say, “you know the funny thing about this is that you ACTUALLY think i can cook,” as he pulls out ramen cups out of his cupboard
and oh boy y’all are just really cute n friendly neighbors that help each other out 
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