Tumgik
#ngl i kinda hate how the drawing itself turned out but i had to get it out of my system
faneth · 7 months
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right where he belongs.
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lollytea · 3 years
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Girl Talk
(ngl I hate this sm. I wrote this fic yesterday, the file corrupted and i lost everything, had a breakdown, rewrote everything the next day because I am obnoxiously stubborn. Anyways Hunter and Luz content. Bon Appetit?)
(READ ON AO3)
“Okay, but what am I even supposed to say to her? Oh! Maybe I could write down some jokes on the back of my glyph slips in case things get awkward. Wait, no, I don't want her to think I'm not taking this seriously. I don't need to be goofy all the time just to hang out with her. I need her to know that I'm serious about her and this whole...romantic thing. And I know she gets upset when she thinks I'm making fun of her so...”
“Alright, so, get this. It says here that there was once this old witch who lived on the outskirts of Latissa and his whole thing was experimenting by mixing paints and magic together. Apparently the stuff he created was like....super powerful.”
“I mean, she said she likes me 'cause I'm goofy and funny and lovable and...and...and I'm sure there's other adjectives I could use but I'm drawing a blank here. So, who am I to deprive her of what she signed up for? But I can't just....ugh, I can't even think right!”
“It doesn't have a lot of info on his specific technique but I'm sure if we did some more research, we could successfully replicate his experiments. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. Woah, wait. I wonder what would happen if we created glyphs with this paint....maybe it would enhance the spell's level of power. Oh, that would be so cool!”
Luz stopped pacing, the floorboards practically burning after she thoroughly wore down the surface with her frantic footsteps. She set a hand on her hip and turned a withering look on her guest.
“Call me coocoo but I don't think you're listening to a word I say.”
Hunter lifted his head to blink up at her, chewing on the end of a pen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, boxed in by towers of Eda's Wild Magic books.
There was a glassy look in his eye, as if he was trying to get his bearings after being abruptly yanked out of an alternate dimension.
He had been, in a way. Luz was inclined to call it “Booksville.”
When Luz first met Hunter, this sort of stuff was a big, huge No-No for him. She could've invited him to take a look at any one of those books, packed with information on that obsession of his and of course, he'd be crazy with intrigue but he would hesitate. If he even opened the book at all, he'd card through the pages with an almost jumpy sense of caution, as if the paper itself would sting his fingers.
Well, that ship had certainly sailed. It had taken him a while to get fully comfortable but nowadays, Hunter didn't ask twice before digging into the contents of Eda's books, soaking up every tidbit of every sentence until he had exhausted every page.
He had even brought his own index flags to mark his favorite passages. He had gone on a little rant earlier about how Eda was an outright maniac for dog-earring the page corners.
Luz made a mental note to never show him the state of her Azura books. He would probably cry.
Hunter had become so lost in the Wild Magic sauce, he didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was not supposed to be here.
Of course, Eda didn't mind that he was here. That is to say, Luz didn't technically tell her he was here. She and King were currently out, being menaces to society and all that fun stuff, as they usually were before Luz would sneak Hunter in.
So, to be fair, Eda had never specifically said that Luz was not allowed to let The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven into their home.
It was probably fine, right?
Yeah, it was probably fine that Luz had been hiding The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven in her bedroom like some kind of forbidden pet.
Speaking of forbidden pets, that precious red cardinal of his was perched like a Christmas decoration atop his shoulder. That little rascal did wonders for Hunter. He seemed so much cuter than he was when there was an adorable little palisman snuggling up to him.
Once Hunter had processed what Luz said to him, his features screwed up tight. He was offended.
“Whadd'ya mean I'm not listening? I bet you can't repeat anything I was just talking about.”
“Ugh! Yeah, Hunter, I heard you. Paints! You wanna start painting as a hobby and let me just tell you, I fully support your budding creativety and will hype up your work with my entire heart but please. Right now I am having a full blown Amity Calamity!”
“Yeah, okay, that is not what I was talking about. Also, I get that you're freaking out n' all but....what do you expect me to do about it?” He threw his hands about wildly, at a complete loss. “Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,”
“I don't knowww....” Luz groaned. “I just....ugggghhh.” She buried her head in her hands, ruffling her hair into oblivion, like it would miraculously stimulate her brain cells into action. It released some pent up frustration, at least. “I wish it was easier for us to just talk about girls together.”
Hunter perked up. “Talk about girls? Are you kidding? Of course we can talk about girls, dummy!”
“Wait, really?” Luz asked, taken aback by this apparent development.
“Yeah, for sure. One sec,” Buzzing with eagerness, Hunter dove into his stacks of books, emerging seconds later with a worn, dust encrusted volume. It was so ancient, the title had faded away but Hunter still put his finger to where the big letters should be.
“Notable Female Witches of The Savage Ages,” He rattled off delightedly. “They were considered the mothers of Wild Magic. Their style of spell was really quite advanced, see they--”
Despite her frayed nerves, Luz sill managed a weak laugh.
As insufferable as he could be sometimes, she really did like this nerd a lot.
“Okay, Hunter. Buddy,” She said gently. “This stuff sounds really cool and I wanna hear all about it at some point buuuut....when I say girls, I mean...y'know. Amity specifically.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah.”
Hunter's face fell with disappointment but he was quick to snap back into a look of cool indifference. He shut the book in his lap with a soft thump, set it aside and turned his full attention to Luz.
“Sooooo...” he began awkwardly, scratching at his ear. It could not be more obvious that Hunter wanted nothing to do with this discussion. But Luz appreciated that he was trying. “Girlfriend problems, huh? Shoot.”
Luz's cheeks darkened. “Heh. 'Girlfriend'. Yeah, that's...uh...” She was suddenly very inconvenienced by the existence of her own hands so she clasped them together tight to keep herself from fidgeting. “That is.....a word for Amity.”
Hunter frowned, puzzled. “Okaaaay? So, what's the issue?”
“Ohhhhhh, boy.” An ironic, long suffering smile stretched across her face. “Let me just tell you that there is a lot goin' on up here, pal.” Luz tapped her finger against her temple. “So if I'm gonna give you the full unabridged version--”
“You could summarize it.”
“You know I don't know how to do that.”
“Yeah, I know.” Hunter sighed. “Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, let's hear it.”
“Alright but this is gonna be a lot so I suggest you strap yourself in,”
Luz sucked in a deep inhale, with full intent to let the entire flood of thoughts cascade out her mouth.
Hunter's eyes snapped to the floor, like he was actually looking for a safety harness to attach himself to. Then he seemed to realize that was ridiculous, as he scowled to himself. Little Rascal chirped and he irritably mumbled something under his breath in response.
And then Luz took off.
“Alright, so!” She announced, clapping her hands together. “So me and Amity have known each other fooooor...a while now? Yeah, it's been a while. And we've been pretty good friends ever since and then one day, she rescued me from her scary mom and she had this black flowing cape and her voice went all low and then suddenly, huh. Doki doki, y'know?” She thumped a fist against her chest. “I was gettin' all feelings-y up in here,”.
“And then a little later I figured out that we were both feeling kinda feelings-y and I was all like,” She mimed a brain explosion. “Pshww....”
“Pshww....” Hunter repeated quietly, testing out the little sound effect on his tongue. “Doki...doki....?”
“Yeah. Exactly. Doki doki. Pshww.” Luz nodded, as if he had made a valuable contribution. “So, now we're both here in the same boat, fully shish kebab-ed by Cupid's arrow.”
“Hold up. What language are you speaking?”
“And things are....great? Nice? Sorta hard to believe but stuff actually happens. We hold hands a few times, we...” The volume of her voice dropped to a bashful murmur. “we kiss a few times. There was so many beautiful, amazing romance-y moments that happened, just like in movies, y'know?”
“Movies....?” Hunter's bewildered stare turned from Luz to the bird on his shoulder, as if he was going to get any further clarification from either of them.
“Right! But here's the thing. It sorta feels like all that stuff just went by in a blur. I don't even know how I did any of that. The hand holding, the smooches the....ugh! It was like I was on autopilot or something and now I have no idea how to operate. Now, no matter how hard I try to get the vibe right, I can recreate those moments. So now it's starting to feel like...I don't know how to do anything!”
Luz's arms were whizzing around like an out of control windmill.
“I mean, Sure, Amity takes the lead sometimes but I can't make her carry this entire....relationship? Flirtationship? Whatever it is that's happening here! I gotta act or something! But I've been thinking about it waaaay too much. I never know the right time to hold her hand, I never know if she wants me to tell her she looks cute or if now maybe isn't the right time or...it's awkward, okay?! I've been making it awkward 'cause I don't know what to do! I-I don't even know for sure if we're dating! We've never talked about it!”
The last sentence came out as a squeak and Luz realized she had used up all her oxygen and needed to take a breather.
Hunter had not said a word but Luz did not know what to make of that dissecting stare of his, that studied her with a mixture of confusion and fascination. Like she was some kind of peculiar animal. A flushed, panting, peculiar animal.
“So.” He said finally, holding his palm out for Little Rascal to migrate from his shoulder to his hands. “Why don't you talk about it?”
He asked like it was the obvious solution. Luz was a little irked by it, but she kept her patience.
“Oh, Hunter. Sweet Hunter.” She heaved an exhausted sigh. “It is not that simple.”
He still didn't seem to understand. “Well, why not?”
“'Cause it's--.....Uh.” Luz trailed off, twirling her wrist around as if expecting to snatch an eloquent articulation out of thin air.
“Okay. Lemme put it like this. Amity is....really special. To me. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's real and she's friends with me and she likes me and....whew.” She pressed her fingertips to her cheek, surprised by the warmth. Even thinking that sort of stuff prompted a blush or two but it seemed saying it out loud made her face scalding.
“Anyway, now that we're going through....this, everything feels so much more....fragile?” Her voice rose in pitch, uncertain if 'Fragile' was even a suitable word to describe her feelings. It was just a vague, wishy-washy concept to describe.
“Like I feel like I could break it all so easy, just by....” Wait, she knew. She had figured out her handle on this.
“Just by being me.” She felt an ache just by admitting it, but it was the truth. Luz exhaled unsteadily to compose herself, clasping her fists tight into the fabric of her shorts and she continued...calmly.
“I can't risk doing anything that's gonna push her or make her uncomfortable or scare her away or...y'know, ruin this.” She held up her palms with a heavy shrug. “I-I don't have a plan and it would be way too reckless to wing it. Who knows what would come out of my mouth? She tells me a billion times that my weirdness is what she likes about me but...it can just as easily be the thing she hates if I overdo. I can't overdo it.
Luz was expecting Hunter to look at her like she was dumb again, but surprisingly, he nodded. A slow, thoughtful nod, as he absentmindedly scratched Little Rascal under the chin.
As the silence filled a little longer, she was starting to believe he had nothing else to add, which was fine. She had wanted to rant her heart out but realistically, she couldn't imagine Hunter having any advice for her. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise.
“Hey, Luz.” He said at last, voice surprisingly breezy. “You know those books that you really like? Uhh, with the nice witch Azuzu or whatever,”
“It's the Good Witch Azura!” Luz snapped, hands flying to her hips. “And I know you just pretended to not know her name. You're just trying to be cool.”
“Yeah, yeah.” The corner of Hunter's lip tweaked upwards. “And wasn't there that other witch that you liked to pretend was Azura's girlfriend?
Luz scoffed, finding it utterly unbelievable that this obnoxious little man had the audacity to be so dismissive towards her favorite book series, when she had been sweet enough to smuggle him in here.
“She was not her 'Girlfriend', she was her 'Soulmate' and if you even listened to me talk about it, you would know that. For your information, her name was Hecate and she began as Azura's rival but over the course of the series, they developed a beautiful, unbreakable bond that was jam packed with heavy romantic subtext. I mean, even their declaration of their eternal friendship in Book Five, which was really emotionally poignant by the way, reads so much like a love confession, it's a crime. And it's like...Ladies! Just kiss already!”
“Okay. Right. Sure. I understood some of that.”
“I mean, I guess I've read a ton of Heczura fanfics to tide me over. It's hard to find a fic where they don't kiss. Hold on, you know what fanfiction is, right?”
“Yeah.” The light in Hunter's eyes dimmed. “You made me sit through that three hour long slideshow presentation, remember?”
“Oh, right,” Luz popped a finger gun. “That was fun,”
It was fun, but a lot of work. Hunter was pouting over losing a measly three hours of his time. Well, newsflash, nerd, Luz spent two weeks working on that. Nobody is getting their hours back.
“And what usually happens in those fanfictions?” Asked Hunter, propping his chin up with his hand, as Little Rascal hopped over to a pile of books. “How do they end?”
“I told you, they kiss. A lot of the time they look deeply into each others eye and talk about how they complete each other like two halves of one heart. And y'know, moments of miscellaneous fluff.”
“Uh huh. Interesting,” He mused, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.
Luz knew Hunter could be a little...eccentric but was he really analyzing fanfiction right now? Where did the sudden interest come from?”
“So, uh, besides Azura and Hecate, are there any other...boats(?) that you--”
“Ships.” Luz corrected him.
Hunter snapped his fingers. “Right. Ships. Basically love stories that you really like.”
“We talkin' canon or non canon?”
Hunter squinted at her, lost. Seems somebody was not taking enough notes during the slideshow presentation. “Both? A-all...?”
“Oh, well, there's a bunch.”
Luz had no intention of listing every single ship that had captured her heart. They would be here all week.
“I've spent my whole life reading books, watching movies and anime and--”
“Anime...?”
“Hunter, please!” Luz squeaked as calmly as she possibly could, but she could not deny that she had started to vibrate. “You have no idea how excited you just made me at the thought of teaching you about anime but I'd need to dedicate a whole day to that 'cause I need to meet Amity soon and I'm still sorta in crisis mode. So, let's stay on topic.”
Her brow furrowed. “Whatever the heck the topic is! Why are we talking about ships, Huntifer?”
He waved off her question. “Okay but how does the story usually end for all your ships? The book ones, the anime ones, all of them,”
“We've been over this with the fanfiction discussion. They kiss, Hunter. Geez, you want a diagram or something?”
“But what else?” He prompted.
“What do you mean 'What else?'”
Now this was just getting ridiculous.
“They kiss!” Luz said with a huge amount of emphasis. “And again, miscellaneous fluff. They'll do stuff like pick each other up and swing around, hold hands and....walk off into the sunset, y'know?” She waved off all that extra padding as unimportant to the conversation. (Though Luz did really enjoy miscellaneous fluff.)
“Well yeaaaah,” Hunter was giving off vibes of a grade school teacher who gave her little nudges in the correct direction but ultimately wanted her to figure out the right answer herself. She wished he could just give it to her because honestly, she didn't know where this any of this was going.
“But when exactly do they ask each other if they're dating?”
“Whaa?” Well, that settled it. He had paid no attention to the slideshow whatsoever. “Nah, nah, they don't do stuff like that. They don't have to 'cause they're already perfect for each other. All they gotta do is look into each others' eyes and they just...” Luz shrugged, feeling lightness bubble in her chest at the very thought. She had a feeling her smile looked pretty dopey. “They just know.”
“Right. And why don't you and Amity just know?”
The bubbles burst and the lightness turned to dead weight.
The question speared through Luz's gut. Her entire body went rigid.
She had known but...
She had been trying not to...
Not to think about it.
Because if she thought about it, she knew she'd cry.
But there is was. A culmination of every coil of underlying dread that had been gradually writhing in her stomach in a monster of anxiety, summarized in a short and sweet collection of simplistic little words.
Luz did not just know when it came to Amity. She was constantly taking shots in the dark. That is, if she was even brave enough to take a shot at all.
The two of them together were not as seamlessly synchronized as couples in love were supposed to be.
Her throat stung.
Her vision went cloudy with blotted tears but she managed to catch Hunter's stony expression break into one of sheer panic.
“Wh-- Luz! Hey!” He yelped, scrambling to pick himself up from the floor. He nearly tripped over his books as he stood and hurried over to close the distance between them. He made to reach out to her but his hand stopped, just as it was about to brush against her shoulder. It hovered there for a moment, fingers curling and uncurling with uncertainty.
“Luz, listen, I wasn't....I-I mean, what I meant was...uhh. C-c'mon, cut it out!” Hunter's voice crackled with desperation and despite crying her eyes out, Luz felt the watery chuckle at the back of her throat.
“Aww, does crying make the Golden Guard uncomfy?” She tried to tease but her words came out all wobbly.
In fairness to the poor guy, it probably did. Luz couldn't imagine that dealing with tears in a delicate matter, was ever something he would need to handle in his line of work.
For all she knew, this was his first time having to comfort someone like this.
“You don't get to make jokes and cry at the same time. You gotta pick one.” Hunter snipped, but his tone was not nearly as cutting as usual. Luz was almost tempted to call it soft.
Clearing her eyes with the heel of her hands, she finally felt that warm touch on her shoulder, and then another rest against her upper arm.
Somehow the gentleness cracked all her remaining composure and she dissolved into ragged sobs.
Hunter did not speak nor did he let go out her until she got every tear out of her system. He waited patiently, tracing circles with his thumb into her skin.
Eventually, her sniffles fell silent and her eyes no longer blurred. She took a deep breath and the following exhale was shaky but manageable.
“Are you....good?” He asked cautiously.
Luz nodded.
Hunter removed his hands so carefully, you'd think doing so would cause her physical pain. He must have heard once that people were more prone to being hurt when they were already upset and assumed it was literal.
“Do you really think that...Amity and I....” Luz's voice was low and quiet but her jaw was set tight. She refused to let her words be whimpered. She looked up, meeting Hunter's eyes. “Aren't right for each other?”
“What? No! No, no, no,” Hunter looked positively alarmed at the accusation. “Luz th-that's not even remotely what I meant by that.”
“Well, then I guess you accidentally hit the nail on the head.” Luz managed a strained, bitter little smile. “'Cause it's true.”
“Luz, c'mon,” Hunter groaned, exasperated. “Don't talk like that, you've got it mixed up.”
“No.” Said Luz, tone quiet, polite yet strikingly obstinate. “You were right, Hunter.”
For someone who loved being right, he didn't seem thrilled at all.
“When it comes to Amity, I don't just know. I don't always know what she's thinking or what she wants from me. After all this time, I-I shouldn't still be trying to figure her out,”
Luz wanted to figure her out. Every time she was in her orbit, she wanted nothing more to turn over every last piece of that girl and find every hidden gem.
But now, it like she was barricaded. Something was keeping her from moving forward, from discovering Amity.
“I mean, we've kissed.” The memories of Amity were turning more and more bittersweet by the second “I told her I loved her! We had our happy ending already! A-at least I thought it was a happy ending. But we're not acting like people who are made for each other are meant to act!”
“How do you even know how people who are meant for each other are meant to act?!” Hunter demanded, as though it wouldn't reach Luz's skull unless he raised his voice. “In all the love stories you've read, it always ends with a kiss, doesn't it?”
“And--”
“And miscellaneous fluff. Yeah, I get it.” Hunter shooed the detail away before clearing his throat.
“Point is, they never talk about what comes after. You don't read about all those awkward talks where they decide if they're dating or not and talks about what they're okay with and what they're not. It always just cuts to the perfect, shiny romantic stuff, all tied up with a bow and because of that,” He clutched Luz by the shoulders.”You don't know how to move forward in a relationship 'cause you've never had a frame of reference to help you along.”
“Hey, that's not true!” She tore away from Hunter's grip. “I'll have you know that I imagine my favorite ships as couples all the time,”
“Yeah and lemme guess,” He droned, setting a hand on his hip and launching into a mockingly saccharine tone of voice. “They understand each other soooo well all the time, they can practically read each others' mind and everything is smooth sailing and peachy all the time.”
“Yeah, duh.” Luz didn't quite what he was making fun of. “That's what being a ship is all about.”
“Okay, fine, maybe, but I cannot stress this enough,” He ran his fingers through his hair before making a cutting gesture with the side of his hand, directed at Luz. “You are not a ship.”
“Well, yeah, obviously. I'm only one--”
“I mean that the two of you aren't a ship! Listen to me, you're not Azura and Hecate. You're Luz and Amity. You're real people. You've got like a million different emotions and they're messy and crazy and you don't understand most of them.”
“Okay, Hunter, I get it, I'm a hot mess. You don't have to rub it in.”
“We're all hot messes, Luz!” He exploded. “Every single one of us. 'Cause we're real and not book characters.” He was pacing back and forth now as he ranted and raved, gesticulating like a madman.
“We gotta handle all the awkward conversations that don't fit into books. You gotta talk to real people to get them and you can talk to them for years and years but you're never gonna entirely understand them. In your love stories, it's all kisses and happy endings and it's shiny and sparkly and perfect and nerds like you Eat. It.Up!”
Hunter emphasized his point by poking Luz's forehead, shocking a startled laugh out of her. As wound up as he was, the noise surprised him too.
Her laugh was contagious and soon the room was silent, expect for the sound of quiet, breathy giggles.
One of the knots in Luz's stomach had untangled itself. Hunter did make a point that she could understand. Yeah, okay, maybe she had been a little too wrapped up in fiction to successfully navigate through her own life. Luz had never been the most logical person so it was comforting for a levelheaded counter-argument to whatever was currently inflaming her anxiety.
Obviously, this didn't fix everything. Now, she understood why this wasn't easy but that didn't mean she magically knew where to go from here.
Once the shadow of Luz's smile had finally faded away, she looked up and studied Hunter for a long while. Her gaze may have been a bit intense as nervousness began to creep into his features.
“H-hey. Uh. Sorry if I was a little too--”
“Huntifer, I think you might be on to something with this one,”
He blinked at her before brightening with relief, shrugging it off. “Oh. Yeah, maybe. I dunno, I guess it's worth some thought.
Astonishing how Hunter could switch from the cockiest, most obnoxious kid in the Boiling Isles to a remarkably humble guy. Maybe it depended on context. Or he was just embarrassed that he sorta lost control of himself in his impatience.
Luz nodded. “I'd say a lot of thought. But..I think things are still gonna be awkward. With Amity. I still don't know how I'm supposed to talk this stuff through with her.”
Hunter snorted, loosely folding his arms over chest and resting his weight on one hip. And just like that, with that simple change of posture, he looked full of himself again “You wanna know a secret that's probably not much of a secret?”
He beckoned Luz to lean in closer and said in a stage whisper. “Amity probably doesn't know either.”
Huh. Yeah, Luz knew that. She knew that at the back of her mind but...she hadn't really thought about it much. She was a little too preoccupied with her own inexperience.
Hunter's lofty grin softened. “So, it's a good thing neither of you are doing it alone, right? Don't you think you could figure out how together?”
Figure out how together....
The realization sank from the surface of her mind, and everything was processing very fast then suddenly, everything clicked.
Amity.
Luz knew Amity. Luz trusted Amity. Luz loved Amity. If there was any person Luz believed would stumble alongside her through things they didn't quite understand yet, it was Amity. And it occurred to her that Luz would help Amity in return without hesitation.
With enough notches and trimming and smoothing edges, if they worked through this together, Luz and Amity could click too. Maybe not perfectly, not for a while just yet.
But enough that they could make each other happy.
A swing of confidence so strong flooded Luz's system, she swore she nearly collapsed. She felt the grin tugging at her mouth.
She could try. She could absolutely try. They could both try.
“Is...that a yes?” Hunter asked, gauging her expression.
Luz nodded so speedily, it made her head hurt. But then she realized something else and she turned a very specific look on Hunter.
But before he could ask if she was about to attack him, she held up two fingers on each hand and then placed them on either side of her head so they jutted out just behind her ears.
“Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,” Said Luz, in what she believed to be an uncanny imitation of Hunter's voice.
He frowned. “What are the theatrics for?”
“You lied to me!” Luz was delighted.
“I-I didn't lie!” He loudly objected, pointed ears scorching bright pink. “That was just common sense, you doofus. You know, that thing you lack.”
“You know, that thing you lack.” Luz parroted, swinging her hips from side to side. Once again, her impression remained flawless.
“Don't do that!”
“Don't do that!
“Stop, you weirdo!”
“Stop, you weirdo!”
At the peak of riled up, Hunter floundered for a retort that Luz wouldn't shoot back at him with childish mimicking. But then he cracked and wound up sticking his tongue out at her.
Luz simply mirrored him and Hunter huffed indignantly, turning on his heel and stomping back towards his books.
He had barely made a few steps when Luz lunged at him from behind, draping her long, lanky arms around his shoulders.
“Wha—Hey! Get off!” He squawked, struggling to pry her off him as Luz squished her cheek against his.
“Huntifer~” She singsonged. “Can you please calm down for two seconds and let me say thanks already?”
Hunter knotted his arms and his scowl didn't soften but Luz didn't miss how he stopped trying to squirm out of her grip.
“Even though you were kinda rambly and all over the place, what you said helped. It helped a lot. I know this is something I can handle and I know that 'cause of you. Thanks, nerd.”
She waited patiently until she felt his shoulders loosen. And then he glanced back at her and there was a smile. A small, tight, subtle smile but it was good enough for Luz.
And then with a burst of adrenaline, she gripped him tighter and planted a big, wet raspberry on his cheek.
Predictably, Hunter blew his top. He screeched furiously and his hands went wild to push her off but Luz was stronger than she looked. And so help her, she would give Hunter this affection or die trying.
Dying trying did not seem unlikely, actually. Hunter had told her once before that if he ever murdered her, it would probably be her own fault. Luz could not argue with that.
“That is so gross!” He griped, once Luz had finally released him.
“You're gross~” She chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Hunter wiped the spit off his cheek with his palm before looking up at Luz with narrowed eyes
Luz did not have time to brace herself and suddenly she was tackled to the ground. She kicked and she screamed as Hunter dragged his disgusting wet hand across her face.
“GrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGroooooss!”
Hunter cackled maniacally the whole time.
They carried on like rowdy toddlers for a while until Luz had to go meet Amity, leaving Hunter and his palisman to themselves.
It was too weird to admit out loud but he was disappointed that she was gone. Hanging out with her like this wasn't that bad. Talking with her, arguing with her, wrestling with her. It all made Hunter feel....so much like a kid.
Something that he had realized recently was that he still liked being a kid.
In spite of the doom and gloom of white of gold, of the clawed scars in his shoulder, of the spear that grazed his hair, a spark of childishness remained in Hunter that had never been entirely snuffed out.
It wasn't until he met Luz that he began actively trying to keep that spark alive.
The sun had long since fallen asleep by the time Luz returned and the moon was pooling in the sky. A little after sun down, he heard the downstairs door slam shut and the loud exuberant voice of The Owl Lady boomed from the floorboards beneath him. By the sound of it, she was celebrating a successful day's work. Hunter wondered what she and the cute little demon had managed to steal today.
His snoozing palisman was tucked snug in the crook of his neck, a pleasant warmth against his skin. It was a good idea to keep the bird close. If someone other than Luz came barreling into the room, he'd better have his staff on hand to magically conceal himself.
But once an hour passed and the chatter of the witch and the demon below gradually faded into loud snoring, Hunter presumed they had passed out on the couch. For the time being, he should be fine.
Hunter hoped that creepy owl tube thing wouldn't rat them out. Fortunately, Luz had promised that Hooty was willing to take a bribe but unfortunately, gossip spread fast in the Boiling Isles. Now The Golden Guard had a reputation for being a lunatic who visited the night market several times, buying dead mice in bulk.
He snorted to himself, combing through 'From Bones to Fire: A Study of Wild Magic Volume 2'. Everything he went through just to get his hands on knowledge.
Well, also to be young with Luz.
Yet another hour passed and somehow, being surrounded by his own obsession, Hunter got a little overstimulated. To give his brain a rest, he was now flipping through some tattered old magazine that Luz brought with her from the human realm. Some of the articles were practically gibberish to him but overall, it was okay. He learned he was a Scorpio. He didn't know what that entailed but it sounded cool.
He nearly jumped out of his skin as Luz burst into the room, announcing her return.
Startled, his palisman flew into a fluster, cheeping like crazy before it settled down atop his head. Hunter, meanwhile, had flung the magazine away so fast, it was like it had contaminated him, and snatched up the closest book to pretend he was reading it the whole time.
Thankfully, Luz didn't notice.
“Hey there, Little Rascal,” She cooed, prancing across the room and plopping down next to Hunter. “And hey, you little bookworm, you.”
“Bookworm?” Hunter knocked his shoulder against hers. “You looking for a fight, kid?”
“Whaaaat? Hunter, you wound me, I was just....Ohhh, my bad. I always forget that our bookworms and your bookworms are two waaaay different things.” She paused thoughtfully before shaking her head. “Actually, I don't retract anything. You look like a bookworm.”
“Yeah, well, you smell like a selkidomus.” Hunter smirked.
“Hey!” Luz bumped their shoulders. “Can you blame me? I've had one heck of a day with lots of nervous sweating!”
He was surprised that got him laughing but that tended to happen around her.
“So, how'd it go?” Hunter asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Luz's beam was as bright as a dozen of her light spells. The corner of her lip was twitching, as if she wanted to smile wider but it was physically impossible.
“We're dating.” She stated, no more than a whisper.
It obvious since the moment she entered the room, far bouncier and bubblier than usual but Hunter still grinned.
He had expected her to scream it from the rooftops, to grind his ribcage into powder with the force of her hug, to set off a riot of firework glyphs, spelling it out in lights.
No matter how she could have chosen to tell him, he would have been just as giddy as she was.
And yet, despite the lack of fanfare, somehow, it still felt so much like Luz. Though he knew that in the morning, she would tell the entire Boiling Isles, right here, right now, only Hunter knew. Something about that felt nice.
But the quiet serene scene was momentarily ruptured when Hunter spotted Luz re-adjusting herself out of the corner of his eye and he was immediately on high alert. Another raspberry, he could sense it.
“Luz, don't you d--”
It wasn't a raspberry.
The feather-light peck against his cheek was gone before he fully processed it, as Luz drew away with that big stupid smile still plastered on her face.
Hunter blinked away the surprise, looking to her with a raised eyebrow.
“What's that look for? In this family, we give each other hugs and kisses~”
He felt his lip quirk upwards as he scoffed, turning away with a shake of his head.
“That was so gross.”
“You're gross.”
“For real, it was even more gross than the raspberry.”
Luz burst into giggles and Hunter could understand why everything was suddenly a million times funnier to her. She will still fizzling with that giddiness that Amity had kissed into her and now it was all spilling out.
To be honest, listening to a teenage girl gush and squeal about her girlfriend did not seem like something Hunter would ever willingly subject himself to.
But this was Luz. His friend, Luz.
He lightly pinched the pudge of her cheek. “Heeeey. You wanna tell me all about it, don't you?”
Luz snapped her head over to gawk at him, astonished. And then the excitement took hold and her hands started flapping and she looked about ready to explode with delight. Her mouth was already flying open to give every solitary detail of her evening with Amity Blight.
But then she stopped, a crease forming on her brow. He caught that unreadable look she gave him and the way her eyes skimmed over the books that scattered the floor around them.
“Hmmm.” She stroked her chin with an over dramatic 'thinking' face. “Y'know what? I'll think I'll keep it all to myself.”
“Oh, really~?” Grinned Hunter. “I can only imagine all the romantic schmaltzy sickening stuff that occurred tonight. Miscellaneous fluff, right?”
Judging by the blood that stained her cheekbones, he must have been correct.
“Hey, Hunter.” She said quietly, resting her weight against his side. “You've been lost in your books for hours now. Would you mind telling me all about the most interesting you read about today? Reading myself is fine but it's way better to hear all about it from a bona fide nerd.”
Frankly, it was embarrassing how fast the giddiness practically electrocuted him and suddenly he found himself rambling. He rambled until his voice gave up but it didn't bother him at all because it was just Luz.
Luz hung on every word he said.
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kuvvydraws · 3 years
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Life for me has been utter shit - stuck with godawful lessons and a lot of tests, all the while having to worry about this group of mean girls who I offended a couple month ago and now have to constantly think about what I do because all it takes is one mistep and they go all snarky and stir up trouble by making baseless accusations - cause all it takes is one mistake to turn your best friends into utter bitches ((sorry for the language)) who constantly make it out to be that I’m always going out of my way to wind them up and harass them
And now I’m worried that if any of my other past mistakes come up that they’re going to make it out to be a big thing, and if they make it out to be a big thing then I just know it’s gonna reach the teachers who’re gonna make it reach home and then I’ll have to deal with the usual disappointment I get when I make even the smallest mistake, because everyone expects me to be this perfect little thing that cant make a single mistake, and if that happens I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna deal with it - especially if I lose my phone, as it’s like my only comfort source and tether to the things that actually make me happy.
And no I don’t mean that in terms of social media, I mainly mean that in terms of stuff like access to tumblr and my fanfiction - because as sad as it sounds they’re the only thing keeping my happy and keeping me going
I should probably talk about some of this with my counsellor, but then she’s gonna have to mention it to her superiors who’ll most likely make her tell my parents and I just don’t have the energy or will power to deal with that
So here I am, using anon on tumblr to rant at someone as sweet as you who’s probably just gonna get either super bummed out or kinda concerned which you shouldn’t be as I honestly don’t deserve anyone’s care or concern. I’m already a waste of physical space, no need to be a waste of someone’s emotional and mental energy as well.
Sorry. - 🦋anon🦋
((just to add a little bit of recognition in case I want to/need to rant again. Granted that’s good with you of course))
Alright so that's a lot, so I think I'm going to answer this under a read more and hopefully I can bring you some sort of comfort, as little as that may be
Before that tho, I know I'm not a rant/venting blog, but you guys can come do so in asks or DMS even if we never talk again. I rather lend an ear that have you with a heavy weight on your shoulders if I can help carry it.
ALSO
This is a self-deprecation free blog! Y'all are a fucking delight, and gorgeous inside and out and I'll frigging fight you if I must in order to seal that idea in your funky little brains! 🔪🔪🔪
School problems sound like a lot of stress rn (I'm guessing you're not in college yet, I don't have the facts tho), and those come in the source of social and study issues. To the later, I can only say that they will pass, they're temporary and they don't really matter that much as long as you manage the bare minimum to go on with your life plans (which is a ridiculous thing to say because I myself am 23 and I still don't know jack shit about anything, much less about life).
Your "friends", and this is the last time I call them that, are clearly not deserving of you, not only if they treat you that way but also because if you're so sure they're willing to use mistakes from the past against you, that means you kind of subconsciously understood they weren't that good to start with. To that I can only say that kind of gut feeling comes with age (I'm full of hateful advice tonight, sorry), and that those mistakes they'll make you face were things you did in the past you made being younger and less informed and "matured", and you should look at them with that gaze instead of beating yourself over them or letting them get to you (this is not easy, but you can do it 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻)
Idk how you school (again, guessing) works, but sure there is a tutor or someone you can talk with from the staff, a therapist they hire from time to time or, and I know you won't like this option, the counselor. Think of your mental health for a moment, please.
You're not a machine.
You are not a perfect thing.
You're human, and you're fallible, and weak, and you get tired, and you make mistakes. And that's okay.
And people around you have to understand that. They can't make you a puppet to satisfy their expectations because that's going to end up either burning you out or tearing you apart.
From here, and I clearly don't know all the details so please consider that too, I think you should sacrifice some of that untouchable image others have assigned on you that you use like a shield and show vulnerability, let an "authority" inform your parents that you do very much have a breaking point and you're reaching it and you need to breathe and exist for a second.
I myself got lost, quite purposefully, in reading and writing and art -and I still do- and consuming media as a source of comfort and familiarity that was, and still is, always reliable and endless.
I don't think there's a problem with that, so long as you keep it reasonable and don't get too lost in it. As we say in my country, "lo bueno, si breve, dos veces bueno" (I'll let you investigate that on your own 😉)
The main thing I get, and what I do all the time because it works for me like a clock, is a red balloon, meaning, hobbies. I like creating things -I like reading the most, honestly, but it's never as engaging as making your own stuff. Write something, draw something, it doesn't matter if you don't think it's good, or bad, or anything or everything in between. You get a distraction, you invest in something that brings you joy such as interacting (or not, that's up to your comfort level and/or want to do so) with fandoms and Tumblr, and one day, when you're feeling under the weather or in need of a break, you can look back and see the things that you have done and be proud of them despite all their little imperfections because you made them and you had a good time while doing so and they helped you get your mind off things.
Exhaustion is a thing, and a terrible one at that, and we end up feeling numb at best, and tired, and just like you can't keep going, you can't even take that infamous baby step that's just enough for some people, and you fear that if you don't make what's barely enough then how...?
That's bullshit. It real, and valid, and it's heavy as fuck and it gets to you, nests inside your very bones and drags you.
I'm not a very cheery person despite what my internet persona might suggest, quite the opposite, and I use that to keep me going.
You can't keep up or find a reason to take that baby step? Do it out of spite.
That's my answer against life itself, when everything is just too much and I cant- I can, out of spite.
NGL buddy, it ain't healthy, but it keeps you on the move until those bad days are over and suddenly you'll find yourself fighting back, standing straight (that's the only straight thing I do), and charging forward like a bull.
Don't give up, I promise time fixes everything sooner or later and good days are on your way. That's a threat.
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