#not even just my tumblr mutuals but the nice people who have complimented me randomly ... you’re all way too cute | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

indimlights · 3 years

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✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

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-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯 and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

#Surprise!#Cille this is the least you deserve #but I'm so happy I got to do this #with the help of all this sweet people #I'm wishing you (and everyone) an amazing day!#and never forget that...#we all love you!

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notbigondoors · 3 years

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{out of equations} I am a little afraid that I’m being misunderstood because of how it appears I am running my blogs. The truth is, I am a shy, derpy potato, and I suspect I’m just coming across in a much different way than I wish to. Below is my attempt to clear some of that up, so that hopefully anyone whom I’ve inadvertently made to feel like I am ignoring them or don’t want to write with them can feel better. Thank you for reading, if you do, and otherwise I hope everyone is having a lovely day. =)

I don’t know if this is actually a thing or not, but it occurs to me that I may be giving people the wrong idea about my blogs. It’s been so for a while that I keep getting compliments on my writing/portrayals, but then so many of my mutuals never interact with me and eventually unfollow, or start threads and drop them after a few replies. Now, people are entitled to lurk, change their minds, become disinterested, lose muse for a thread, and/or decide they don’t like writing with me or feel that my writing doesn’t measure up to theirs once they start. That’s perfectly okay! I’m not mad, I’m not calling anybody out, that’s absolutely okay! Right now, I’m talking to any of my mutuals who feel intimidated by me, feel I don’t want to write with them because I haven’t reached out to them first, or feel like I’m basically telling them they’re not good enough to write with me because I haven’t started something with them. I want to take the time to say how wrong all of that is and to give you an idea of how I really run my blogs.

First of all, real life has not been easy for me lately, as I’m sure it hasn’t been for everyone, given various things going on in the world. Between what’s in the news lately, the pandemic, and a chronic illness of mine coming out of remission after 20-ish years, I am definitely not at my best. I am on many medications for my chronic illness that come with a shopping list of side effects that make me feel physically horrible on a daily basis, but also they cause brain fog. I’m legitimately having trouble remembering things, which means that starter I told you I’d write you and then never did? Yeah, I don’t hate you, and it’s not that I don’t want to write with you, I just have honestly forgotten I even said I would do it. Combine that with my Tumblr notifications not working properly and a large influx of new writers and interactions lately due to WandaVision, and I am really honestly forgetting what I’ve said to whom on here. Side effects of my meds also include insomnia (which I already had, so it’s gotten worse... yay?) which means I’m not getting enough sleep and that’s compounding everything else that’s already making it hard for me to keep everything straight.

In addition to that, I have very bad anxiety, of the kind that interferes with my ability to do everyday things. Social anxiety is a huge facet of my generalized anxiety disorder. Simply put, I am introverted, shy, and terrified of talking to new people, even online. Even messaging with people I know can sometimes drain me mentally. It is not that I dislike you, or that I don’t want to talk to you, or that you are bothering me. None of those are true. I just am not good socially. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do, and I feel so intimidated, especially with so much amazing talent on here. I would like to think that I am a nice and approachable person, but I rarely ever reach out to people. Liking a starter call almost gives me a panic attack. Sometimes I sit and stare at one for an hour, really wanting to do it, but then I think... well I’d have to put my url since all my active rp blogs right now are sides. Would they get mad that I’m not just hitting like? Is that already too complicated and they’d just ignore me? Yeah, they probably wouldn’t want to write with me anyway. Aaaaand I close Tumblr and never like the post, heh.

I see talented writers on here all the time, I read their really great, funny, interesting, harrowing, or exciting threads and think... I wish I could write threads like those. But I just lack the social skills to get involved. My anxiety tells me things that aren’t true all the time, like that I’m extraneous, people have their groups and I should leave them to have fun in peace because I’d only be bothering them. It is not my intention to always make others do all of the work by waiting for them to reach out, or hoping they write that first starter instead of me, or waiting for that indisputable starter call that finally makes me feel comfortable enough that yes, they want to rp with someone like me... it’s just unfortunately where I’m at mentally right now.

Time is also an issue. I work full-time online as a teacher for a university, I have about 160 students, and I have students all around the world in all different time zones, so my job is pretty much 24/7. I am constantly answering student emails, grading assignments, dealing with technical site issues, etc. Sometimes I really want to interact with new writers on here, but I don’t bother because I am afraid that my activity level won’t be what they want or expect. That’s a big reason why I haven’t been expanding my roleplaying to Discord or joining large rpg groups. I can’t guarantee activity. Sometimes I will be very active, sometimes I won’t be active at all... and I won’t always know ahead of time.

Anyway, this is a lot of rambling and I’m sorry for that, but I wanted to clear up any notion that I am aloof, that I am super selective and that’s why I’m not rping with you, or that if I seem to be ignoring you, I am. SO. NOT. TRUE. It’s a combination of my being too afraid to reach out, having health issues that make me very forgetful at times, and feeling like I have to hold back because of scheduling issues or a lack of free time. So... yeah. That’s that. If you’ve gotten this far in reading this post, you are sweet and precious and a wonderful human being. Thank you for taking the time to do so. If I said I would write you a starter and never did, please remind me. I am 99.9% sure the reason is that I just plum forgot. If I appear to have dropped a thread you really loved, please remind me about it. I may not have even seen your reply with Tumblr’s crappy notifications not showing up for me. And if you want to rp with me, I don’t bite, I’m not intimidating, yes I want you to reply to that open starter, yes I want you to randomly tag me in a starter or drop something into my ask box, I am honestly just a scared potato who really cannot Social™ well.

Wanda, Vision, and Pietro are most active right now. Please bother them. I have a leafling OC who is very adorable and versatile, I promise you. Please bother him. I also rp Gizmo. Please bother him.

Bother whoever you like, ask me questions about them, answer open starters (literally any of my blogs you can just search for “open starter” and they’ll all come up), and send in memes.

~ Silence, a.k.a. Si, a.k.a. Shy Derpy Potato, out. (^-^)/

#{ out of equations } ᵒᵒᶜ #{because things aren't adding up}#{and it's just occurred to me that i'm creating the wrong look here}#{with how i run things}#{my apologies... i hope we can start over}

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honeypoticns · 4 years

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i’ve been going back and forth for almost a year trying to decide whether this is a story i want to be made public, but between a message i got and what i’m seeing on the dashboard, i think i should share my experience with simvicii and oliveandoak.

i won’t go into too much detail, and i want to preface this by stating that i only heard about the second server a couple months ago, as my experiences with them lasted for three-ish months at the end of 2019 and ended shortly before christmas.

i will also say in advance that i don’t have any screenshots because this happened almost a year ago and i frankly didn’t think to screenshot anything at the time. you’ll have to just take my word for it, or not at all. either way, here it goes.

i made my simblr in september if i’m not mistaken and nicole was one of my first followers, always super nice and engaging with my content. meg was also my mutual, and i messaged her once i believe telling her i enjoyed her content (i used to just randomly dm people a lot then, something i’ve stopped after my interactions with them). i happened to reblog one of their ‘squad posts’ once and apparently they found my tags amusing because meg dmed me and out of nowhere invited them to their server, and i said sure. there were only 5 people including me, and that stayed the same for the majority of my time there (towards the final days i spent in the server a few more people joined, but we didn’t interact much).

i didn’t witness any racism, ableism, homophobia or antisemitism in my time in that server, but it didn’t shock or surprise me that they were capable of that sort of behaviour.

what i did witness was a series of toxic behaviours. they talked shit about other content creators and their posts and then i saw them interacting with them and praising them on the dashboard, for what i can only assume was “”simblr clout””. they viciously critiqued anything that wasn’t stereotypically “beautiful” and had no issues about it. they were extremely two-faced, but at the time i ignored it because they’d been nothing but extremely nice, considerate and supportive of me and for that i apologise.

a couple weeks after i was in the server, the mood shifted and i was made to feel like an outsider – the people there were friends, i was just tagging along. they had group projects and talked about doing things on simblr together and that conversation didn’t include me. i started doing timezone reblogs and they liked the posts while talking on the server about how trashy it was. i enjoyed my content more on the warm side and they talked about how ugly it was when posts were brown/pink tinted. it was a weird give and take that didn’t make a lot of sense and made me feel discouraged and embarassed about my content, but every time that happened they would turn around and compliment something else i did so it evened out.

the falling out we had was something that to this day has confused me and it seriously affected my mental health as at the time i was dealing with untreated anxiety, i was in the process of grieving my mother and had undiagnosed ocd, which in short means i wasn’t alright at all. i won’t go into what happened, but i will say that i was dropped without a second thought for virtually nothing (i accidentally called meg nicole and apologised a thousand times) with not even an explanation as to what the fuck was going on. i removed myself from the server because i could tell that meg was uncomfortable and i wasn’t going to stay there when it was first and foremost her space. i thought i’d hurt her, it was my fault, i had to leave.

what i find more telling is the experiences i had afterwards. i stayed active on tumblr for a month or so after this, but i began to be so anxious to even come online because of their presence and before i could talk myself into calming down i was blocked by meg out of the blue and softblocked by a few people i had no issues with, and who seemingly had no issues with me. after that i left and stayed away for a month or two (i don’t really recall).

when i returned, a friend invited me to a server and i met some really nice, supportive people who took the time to message me privately and apologise for ever thinking poorly of me because of what they’d been told by meg and nicole. that’s the sort of people they are – they’ll take a situation that held no drama, no confusion, no apparent casualties and talked absolute shit about me to people daily. i’ve been told that they talked about how they’d taught me everything i knew and then was a bitch towards them and how much they hated me.

when meg left tumblr i was comfortable being on again, and when nicole returned i left again. my interactions with them weigh heavily on me and still affect my mental health to this day.

i know i should’ve said something earlier, but at the time that i interacted with them i was afraid that i was going to get run out of this website because before the meg situation went down, heaven forbid anyone said a word about them. i still wish i had, as i know they hurt a lot of good people and perhaps i could’ve prevented that. i’m always gonna be sorry i didn’t say something, but i can’t change it now.

this has nothing on what’s come to light about meg and nicole’s behaviour, and it’s miniscule in the grand scheme of things but i’ve been holding this shit in for close to a year and i really have nothing to lose at this point by saying something. they’re manipulative, two-faced bullies and you can add that to their long rolecall of bullshit.

#bullying tw #mental health tw #simvicci #oliveandoak

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msuhana · 4 years

Text

heeyoo everyone ! i’m ume ( 21+, she/her, pst! ) and this is my first muse here ! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while but only got enough time recently to really be able to join so i’m supes excited to be here !!! anyway enough with the ice-breaker-esque intro, this is hana 🖤 ( yves fc ) and she’s quite the pain in the ass bc she has quite the longest stick in her ass lmfao! her profile is right here, but it’s ridiculously long ( not that this isn’t ridiculously long but wtv ) so if you don’t want to get a headache .... mb read the below deets first ? i’d reaaaaaaaally love to plot with everyone, i’d much prefer it over twitter (@nagisasgf) or via discord ( feel free to ask! ) rather than tumblr dms, if possible. but if you’d also like to plot, feel free to like this and i’ll zoom by for some one on one time ! 🤪🤪🤪

TW WARNINGS CHILD ABUSE, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, NSFW

meet cho hana

again, cho hana: 21 y/o ( 11/11/98 ), toseong senior majoring in transfiguration, minor in herbology

she’s also in these clubs: chess club (co-president), debate club, and herbology club!

her mother chose her clubs and her major, hana chose her minor and the herbology club

born and raised in seoul, south korea! she’s also a mahoutokoro graduate

she was a ‘accident’, her father is severely out of the picture to the point that hana doesn’t even know his name / whereabouts or questions about him because her mother never told her about him at all and hana just accepted it ( aka her mother has a very tight reign on hana’s life )

speaking of her mother, her mother is a famed auror who fell from grace when she got pregnant with hana

because of her pregnancy with hana, she had to retire early and thus dedicated her entire life making sure hana didn’t make the same mistakes she did and was just as smart, talented and envied as ahyoung had been

this makes for a very restrained childhood, where all hana knew was studying, studying and more studying

also if it isn’t obvious, hana has serious mommy issues to the point that she’s disillusioned herself into thinking everything is okay when it’s not

( TW FOR CHILD ABUSE )

whenever her mother was displeased with something, she’d physically abuse hana -- it began when hana would get things wrong, if she didn’t get the right grades or failed to make the top of her class but then it started to extend to embarrassing her mother by saying or doing the wrong things

( END TW )

it’s pretty bad because hana thinks, still, if she works hard enough she can somehow gain her mother’s love

ever since she was young, hana was conditioned to strive for the best, because she was ‘cho ahyoung’s daughter’ she could do it, to the point that it not only inflated hana’s ego, it also really fucked up her self-esteem and how she she’s her own self-worth

a lot of people think she’s a ‘genius’ or ‘prodigy’ because of her academic history but she’s literally the opposite, she works way too hard for her grades but her mother wants her to pretend she’s a genius because she thinks it’s embarrassing that her own daughter isn’t a natural-born genius like she is

i, hana

this bitch has Big Tsun vibes if you know it you know it 🤪

like she’ll geniunely care but she’s also HEAVES BIG SIGH BC ???? WHY ??? WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS ???

she’s such a priss, and she knows it -- that’s why i say she has a stick up her ass bc she does

she’s definitely not a wild card, she’s very by the book, rules and all, sure -- she tries not to fault people if they’re not the same as her but if you go out of your way to be stupid, you’ll be getting an ear-full

probably the most put-together person you know, organized, meticulous, looks like she has her life all together? yeah that’s cho hana

her outfits of choice are hot librarian chic, if you must know -- yes, she owns sweater vests and layers her clothes, and yes she thinks they’re sexy

she’s not mean, but she’s also not unreasonably nice off the gate ???? she’s just really civil and mutual ??? mostly she’ll fake smile at you but in her head she’s like ‘i’m with stupid’

no, but if you’re really dumb / do something really dumb she’ll call you out on it without filter

she’s a very type-A personality, but she wasn’t always like this. if anything, she was made to be this way and it kind of stuck. she carries around a planner ( no, not those bullet journal crap ) an actual planner with real dates, a to-do list and scheduled sessions written for almost every minute of every day. if she loses this, she’ll practically shut down

hana doesn’t love control, she needs it -- if anything, without it, she can get a little antsy, so much that it kind of fucks with her fragile ego ( you can thank her mother for the need to be in control bc her mother literally controls every aspect of her life )

if she’s upset, she’ll probably grin through it before quickly excusing herself to go throw vases at the walls or tear flowers to shreds in the greenhouse

if you need someone to critically tear down your confidence and dish reality’s terrible news to you, hana’s probably the person you need

you can probably find hana in 3 places if she’s not in her dorm: studying in the library, crying in the greenhouse, or smoking at the pool of universe

she’s praised as some kind of genius or prodigy, but hana thinks it’s more of an insult than a compliment because she's neither. she won’t deny it but you can probably instantly see the way her demeanor changes towards you when you call her either of those things

this bitch should go on jeopardy with all the useless information she keeps on hand from all her studying, tbh. like she’d be leading a normal conversation with her friends, and if it’s remotely related, she’d randomly insert it into the conversation as if it was something normal like asking about the weather.

not one to go out looking for trouble, but much like a vulture – she follows it. perhaps it’s her desire to be praised, to feel needed, whatever – but in her group of friends, could probably be seen as the moral compass, if not, the person who’s cleaning up everyone’s messes ( or holding their hair while they puke their guts out )

needed connects

childhood friends who know how hana’s mom is, and all the stress she puts on her ( but not the bad things that happen at home ) and try to help her through her issues but hana’s like ‘no, it’s not your problem, it’s okay’ but this friend won’t give up because they hate to see hana so stressed and sad and frustrated and just want the best for her!!!!

give her friends who want to loosen her up because she’s literally so fuCKING RIGID, she needs to live a little but hana is literally like fuck that shit i need to study my ass off or else i’ll lose my place ( but really she’d probably not lose her place, she’s just delusional )

ppl she can actually break down in front of bc she feels stress keeping up w everyone’s expectations of who she is and she’s kind of SIck of pretending to be this Perfect Person but she keeps it up bc it’s better than hearing the nasty things about her

give me a good tension-filled rivals plot, this bitch is honestly so hyper-competitive it’s ridiculous, we’d just love someone to go ‘chill tf out you bitch, but oh yeah look how i steal rank 1 from you’

TOSEONG SENIOR PREFECT LOCKED ! so, hana worked extra hard junior year in order to get senior prefect ( or even head girl ) but since she got neither, hana is a) pissed and b) bitter because now she has her mother breathing down her neck for not getting either positions, but her mother’s wrath adds even more : ) unnecessary : ) stress and that stress : ) gets unreasonably taken out on that toseong senior prefect

exes who couldn’t keep up with her -- hana always puts her relationships second to her academic priorities and it comes to a point where she’ll put studying/getting ahead before hanging out with her significant other, and it has always been this way ; she’s also just never able to properly put her feelings into proper words so she’s always just ... Repressed

someone give her a love where she ALMOST threw everything away for but at the last minute didn’t -- OR BETTER YET she was so ready to do it but the s/o was like Sike! and she was left devastated and her already vulnerable feelings got even worse to the point that she closed herself off

HERBOLOGY CLUB MEMBER LOCKED ! ( could be a junior year or above! ) hana wasn’t always in the herbology club, but she joined her sophomore year after a brush of fate. after getting really bad results on her DADA exam, and fearing what her mother would say/do, she finds solace in the greenhouse ( she’s been there several times bc of her minor and finds it empty at certain hours ) and begins ripping up the plants. your muse can find hana and scold her / console her / etc. but somehow the interaction ends with your muse convincing hana to join the herbology club

( TW NSFW )

someone pls fuck her against a bookcase, just a thought

rivals but fwb ( can also be paired with the connect from above! )

( END TW )

hana secretly smokes. she doesn’t fault anyone who does, hana just thinks it’s a bad habit for herself and if her mother knew, she knew she’d never hear the end of it. so, enter your muse either they found her while they themselves were looking for a smoke or just happened upon her -- either way they found out hana smokes and it can end in either a ) hana doesn’t give a shit and ends up having smoking dates with them or b ) hana fucking fears for her life and exchanges something in order for you to keep your mouth shut

( TW ABUSE, VIOLENCE )

PRE-ESTABLISHED FRIENDS PLOT REQ ! but your muse mistakenly walks in on hana and her mother in the middle of a heated argument. you finally see hana being the submissive person you Don’t know her to be and in the nick of time you see her mother slap the shit out of her. you try to talk to hana but don’t know what to say -- shockingly enough -- you don’t need to say anything because hana just breaks down and it kind of just makes sense. from there, your muse will probably be the only person hana goes to about her mommy issues, especially when hana’s mom makes her ‘surprise’ visits to campus to check up on her

( END TW )

hana isn’t a bad drinker, if anything -- she’s pretty good at keeping her alcohol in check. however, you aren’t -- so here she is, holding your hair, holding your arm, or helping you back to your dorm room. either way, she’s here to take care of you and in the morning, lecture you for your almost alcohol intoxication scare

as top of her class, hana isn’t unfamiliar to tutoring others, if anything, a lot of her professors actually ask her to do so -- pairing her with several of their students at one time. maybe you’re one of the students she tutors?

someone who envies how well hana does in school, and is constantly praised for it -- maybe hates her for it? idk -- something spicy i guess or going so far to say how easily it comes to hana and kind of undermines the hard work hana actually does and hana either takes it or blows up at them for it bc that shit is annoying as fuck

toseong house cute plots bc hana isn’t really all that cute but like she tries ... she wants affection but won’t go out of her way to ask for it??? bitch has problems i swear

toseong house not so cute plots ( could also be relevant to any not from toseong ) who are just sick of hana’s genius bullcrap and want to take her down a notch !!!!! my ass heavily wanting this bc who doesn’t love a muse in pain / agony ; could also apply as a rivals / hate plot idk

( TW BLOOD )

HEALING MAJORS LOCKED ! your muse catches hana in the middle of her rage episodes. she unceremoniously is wreaking havoc somewhere and ends up breaking glass to the point that she ends up bleeding. your muse chances upon her -- sees that she’s bleeding and offers to patch her up. whether or not she fesses up to why she ended up this way, can be determined!

( END TW )

#msu:intro #honestly if you read all this u deserve everything Good in the world #also known as ume doesnt know when to stfuuuuuuuuu !!!!11!!1!!!#also yes i stole parts of her profile and stuck it here y not #ill have another post for halloween plots when i stop spamming the event blog bc my ass doesnt read directions carefully #tws are there just in case none of it is explained graphically but just in case ykno!!

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goalkepa · 5 years

Text

2k followers appreciation post💙

I did the appreciation post when I reached 1k probably a year ago. And I feel like I need to write this again, not only because I keep this as part of the memories but also because I regard it as a chance to show my gratefulness to every single one of you who has become my friends or just simply support me, unconditionally. This post will be pretty long I guess. You can just scroll through as long as you feel annoyed. But if you have time, especially those who I will mention later, I hope you can read it word by word, because you guys really take a big part in my life. Without further ado, let’s get started!

I’d love to mention some *old* friends first:

@thomas-partey :

Probably the one that has been there for me from the beginning of this journey? I always enjoy the time when we have talks, Yerika, about Atleti, about life. You are such a sweet and brave person, who will put all your efforts to reach the goals you set for yourself. That’s what I admire A LOT. Although we didn’t talk that much like we used to, because you’re not online pretty often anymore, just want you to know that I’m still here for you, always. And I feel like I’ll write you a message very soon🙈Thank you for always backing me up. Much love to you.💙

@coolsaul :

Awww Julie my superb French bean out there😍 I still remember when I traveled to Paris, I messaged you about some stupid questions like I was so worried that if I couldn’t find the location of Boutique FFF or if I went there and the store was not open etc. But you were so nice and patient to me at that time, and even now you will still answer ALL the things about Les Bleus and even share your amazing memories (like meeting all those French idiots) with me, which makes me feel so so honored and happy. Oh and not to mention how awesome you are as an Atleti’s fan and how ambitious you are as a beautiful lady. Wish everything goes well there in UK. Much love to you💙

And now here comes some *new blood*. I think I’ve talked to more people after World Cup compared to the time before this tournament. The reason? I don’t know. For me, this needs a lot of courage and I’m extremely glad that I sent the simple “hi” message to some of my mutuals (or few of you sent me first), who are all so freaking nice to me. I wrote the order randomly. In case I forgot to mention some of you, I’m truly sorry. It only means that I’m a dumbass and I honestly don’t know how to put my feelings into words. Anyway, I thank all of you a lot. Here we go:

@niguezsaul :

Needless to say, the funniest Colchoneros I could not ask for. When the game is live and you post your live update, it’s really entertaining. Sometimes it could be hilarious, or just so close to the truth. Your love for Atleti is very valuable and precious. Although I believe you’ve experienced the hardness of supporting this color, you will never give up, right? When the next season comes, you’ll definitely witness our spirit by yourself. Trust me, Karo. You won’t regret for being heartbroken for them over and over again. Much love to you💙

@the-place-to-sparkle :

Let me introduce you a sweet, kind, caring and beautiful lady. Her name is Cami. You’d better write it down. Girl, your love for the things you adore is the purest thing on this planet. Not only football, but also the way you dream of living in your life. On this site, there are too much hatred and negative things. But you are never affected by this. You’re always the one who shares positive stuffs, post some good vibes and reblog all those gentle reminders, which are helpful for those who need, including me. What makes you become such a unique person in my heart, is that you never hide the true side of yourself. This is why all of us love you, Cami. We love the real you and you should never change for anyone. Keep on sparkling✨ my lovely bean. Much love to you💙

@diogodxlot :

Okay so please let me say this again, you are so fucking beautiful ngl (Hector should open his eyes honestly😏) I really really love those locksreens you made, all of them. You have a good taste in aesthetic. I hope I can reach 1% of your level😂 And the thing that you said you cannot choose a single player to print on the jersey? That’s the cutest shit ever, Charvi, really. I hope you get yourself a jersey very very soon. Manchester United owes you one. And good luck to the last exam. You’re gonna SMASH IT. Much love to you💙

@lidah-itsme :

The most gorgeous Italian on this planet goes to…. Teresa🥳 You don’t know how much I love the story behind the name “Lidah”. This is not only such a cool thing but also a meaningful way to represent yourself. I love it. Also your love for Liverpool and Trent amazes me every single day. You’re such a nice fan, only focus on your team in a positive way. That’s what we need on this site✊🏻 By the way, I remember you love Eden Hazard, right? Maybe we should talk about how this happens, privately👀 Much love to you 💙

@draxla :

So, Nathália, my Atleti’s and Chelsea’s mutual. Becoming part of the Blues is not in my plan but here I am. And I’m so glad that there is someone who can experience the pain with me🤣 We haven’t talked too much, but I like you and your point of view. Your thoughts are so close to mine most of the times. I feel grateful for that. At here, there are too many different opinions and finding a person who thinks the way we do is such an awesome thing. I believe you can feel it too. Thank you so much for being my friend. Hope our teams still stop disappointing us for the rest of the season🙏🏻😂Much love to you💙

@erikscn :

Let’s first talk about the Gremi thing, joking😜 But this is probably the reason why we started our conversation. So, I guess, thanks to that😂You’re talented in writing. Your work for my boy Paulo is such a beautiful masterpiece. Promise me that you will never stop showing your talent, alright? What I adore you the most, is your personality. Those stories you told me give me clues about which kinds of person you are. And this IS the Greta I LOVE😌 Don’t ever feel that you’re dumb or not good enough. Being who you truly are is the reason why you’re on this post, and he knows it too! Much love to you💙

@holdmyhopeinyourhands :

First of all, thank you for being my coolest mutual askjsanjkn🙈 I honestly never saw anyone shares their deepest thought of players like you do, Mona. Those post you dedicated to specific players are enjoyable to read💞 And your love for PSG and Roma is the most supportive I’ve ever seen. They are lucky to have a fan like you. Never stop doing what you’re doing, including writing the umbrella academy fanfic. You have the rights to decide how to manage your blog and I’ll support you no matter what✊🏻 Much love to you💙

@avsensio :

Who is the funniest person on this site? Lexi. Whose posts always make me choke? Lexi. Who is the master of using memes? Lexi. I’m not going to give more clues about how awesome this girl is🤷🏻‍♀️ I still remember our first talk. It was an unforgettable night for me. After time goes by, we found out so many mutual points, like we are both March baby, our love for France NT and we both adore Lauv’s music etc… the things we share really cannot describe by words🥰 And remember you told me to not stop what I’m doing, to not affected by others? Your words sill impact me nowadays. And now it’s my turn to tell you, do not fucking change yourself for others. Yea it’s impossible to let everyone like you but you will always have my support. ALWAYS✊🏻Much love to you 💙

@fcsonny :

Nicole💞✨ Can’t believe we met on tumblr when you were at Taiwan. I noticed you because you reblogged my post of the football journal and said you are able to understand the content. My first thought was like “oh shit there are people who can understand what I’m rambling in the journal😱” and then I thought “wait you speak Chinese?!?!?😍” so we talked and this is honestly one of the coolest experience ever, not to mention how nice you are to me. Thank you for that and next time when you visit Taiwan for the fourth time, message me in advance so I can show you around👌🏻 Much love to you💙

@paudybalas :

I’ll never ever forget that you came to my ask box and told me I’m the reason why you decided to create a football blog😭That was definitely one of the warmest compliments ever happened in my life. And you know what? You’re meant to become an awesome football blogger. I may inspire you but you are the only one to make your blog perfect and honestly, I feel like a proud mom🙈Those gifs you made are art. Those personal stories we share with each other will forever be part of the memories in my heart. You inspire me as well, Ellie🥰Thanks a lot. Much love to you 💙

@football-laeli :

Don’t want to sound dramatic but you are absolutely one of the sweetest human beings here🤧 Positive vibes only, always trying to convey some good energy and that’s amazing, Janna. Also, I’m so glad that you decided not to hide your support for you club Ajax anymore💞You changed for your boys, is there anything more powerful than this? I guess none. You’re such a sweet lady, and I wish one day all these good things you give us could all go back to you, because that’s what you deserve😉 Much love to you💙

@disappointment-fc :

So, you are a special person to me. First, you support Real Madrid and you once tried to convince me to love Sergio Ramos😂 This...is honestly quite cool and you are a nice madridista, which surprised me the most najksjnjas🙈 Second, you like Jeremy Lin (right?). Please take care of him🙏🏻Third, you are my kid and I’m your mother. You never go to bed on time, which means I could spend more time talking to you so I’ll try not to ask you to sleep early in the future👀Anyways, you’re one of the few that sent me messages first and have always been nice to me since then, including encouraging me when my team falls down. That’s the kindest gesture I could not ask for more. Thank you, Chloe💞✨Much love to you💙

@theblxefox :

I’ll never stop saying how much I thank you for inviting me join the Chelsea family👀🤧 Without you, my love for Kepa would just remain the original level (now it’s unstoppable😏) I love the way you deal with Chelsea’s disaster, being sarcastic but the love is still strong. Also, on this site, you not only care about football, but also global issues, sometimes even political aspects. You are not afraid of speaking your thoughts. Meanwhile, you stay respectful and let others convey their opinions. We need more people like you, Tommer🙏🏻 You’re that kind of person I dream to become. A kind of person who is beautiful both inside and out. Much love to you 💙

@footballgotmeoncrack :

The only person I already met in real life before having a talk online✨ This is not a coincidence, Angie, I always believe it’s not. The story happened between us is the most unique, ever. I remember you because you were nice to me at the stadium, and you are still nice to me, every second since then. Your love for goalkeepers, like Hugo, Gigi and Iker, is so pure and strong. I could not quite understand why goalies needed to be loved before I also become a fan of a goalkeeper. That’s why I admire you a lot, because you already started to protect the most important and underappreciated role on the pitch✊🏻I’m so glad that you’re able to see your team Spurs this summer. I’ll pray for you to get Hugo’s autograph or even a chance to talk to him🙏🏻You deserve it, my bestie. Also, good luck to your studying in advance. Much love to you 💙

@madtimer :

My beloved Taiwanese mutual here🥳 It’s hard to find a girl who loves football in Taiwan. That’s why I feel grateful to meet one here, not to say how sweet this girl is. Your love for BVB and Milli reminds me of my love for Atelti and Grizi. They are quite the same. Being disappointed but we never give up on them, right Lisa? And all those gifs you made, the way you support your team, is something I want the most from a football fandom (tho I still haven’t download PS because I’m too lazy skajnskj) also you are the one that writes journal related to football, like print some players’ photos and puts some thoughts on it, which makes me so happy because I’m not the only weirdo doing this👀 Anyways, thank you for always being there for me when I need someone to talk in Chinese😜 Much love to you 💙

@hazantowifey :

Potato’s wife, sometimes I really want to punch your face when you said cruel things about football but sadly😂 I can’t, because those are the truths, and you help me accept it. I will never forget that day you commented below my post saying that I’m important to you. Like, I’m shocked because we didn’t really have a lot of conversation but you already regard me as your friend. I still can’t believe it really happened to me😭 You can never make me mad, because you always know how to make my heart go like “aww” by sending me Kepa’s gifs🤦🏻‍♀️ And I HATE you for that. Hope one day we can meet in real life. Maybe go to THE 1975’s concert or a football match, Belgium vs France, so you can wear your Hazard’s jersey and I can wear my Anto’s jersey😜 I’ll look forward to that day to come. Much love to you💙

@leroysanei

My dearest 🐰 , the one that sent me messages first when I need it the most. An important person who always knows how to cheer me up. A person who will send “good morning” to me. A person that truly regards me as a real friend in her life. You take a big part in my heart, 🐰. No one can replace you. Your kindness is the reason why I opened my heart again, to make me believe that there are people I can trust on this site, to make me believe there is someone who will understand my feelings even tho they didn’t know me before🙏🏻 Except for talking about football, I love the time when we share our lives more, oh but maybe also when we are pouring our love for Kepa janskjnskdj🙈wow I really drag you into it I’m 👀 so proud of myself. Your reaction when you said you wanna dance with him in the rain, gosh this is the cutest thought EVER (oops I’m exposing you again 😬). You’re such a clever, independent woman. You’re much more amazing than you expected. Anyways, 🐰, thank you for becoming my best friend in life. Much love to you 💙

For the last one, it will go to my forever soulmate @footballffbarbiex

The one that joined me from the beginning of this journey. The one that has saved me from depression over and over again. We have been through many hard moments and shits together, which others will hardly understand. There are a lot of times when I only sent you a simple sentence, but you got it all. I don’t really have to explain anything you just know me too well. I don’t know why I’m so lucky to meet you in my life, to have you as a friend, a family. Besides being my soulmate, you’re a blessing to this fandom. First, I love your writing, a lot. You have to admit that you’re so talented at this part. That shhhh seires? Masterpiece. That Kepa’s one shot? Masterpiece. I won’t go on for the smut ones because that will expose myself ajsnjnaksjn😜 Second, you have a great interaction with your readers. You listen to their opinions, talk to them and always being so nice. We should all be grateful for those beautiful works you’ve provided to us. Third, you always care about our feelings and always being so respectful to everyone. You deserve love and love only, Amy💞 Words will never be enough to describe my thankfulness. But meanwhile I’ll never stop saying this, thank you, for being one of the most important people in my life. I’ll love you forever and ever💙💙💙

At last, thank you all those who came to my blog and left some sweet, kind messages. Thank you all for liking my stuffs, giving me encouragements or sharing your thoughts with me. It literally means a lot to me🙏🏻

It’s such a pleasure to be on here and I sincerely hope I can bring more joy and positivity to all of you in the future 💙

Love you guys so much,

Steffi

#2k followers appreciation post

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multiple-nerdery · 7 years

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even numbers?

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? It’s happened, but its rare.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Trust is a cryptic.

8: Are you close with your dad? eh. Not less than many people, but he can be an annoyance.

10: What are you listening to? A coworker practice piano

12:Do you like hickeys? Take a look at my neck rn and ask that again (the answer is yes. y’all should see it it’s extensive)

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not sure if continuously, but like, there’s someone who often does.

16: Do you always answer your texts? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? This morning if texting counts.

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? This bed is big and empty.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Eh.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Erin, a little. Also I wish I talked to Danny more I want to hang out with him once before I leave forever.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? It’s crimson. The decemberists.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Well someone has blocked me, but I’m not sure if it counts as ignoring if we hadn’t talked for a while anyway. Also another person kind of.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? liSTEn. I honest to fkn god don’t know. I haven’t seen it happen too much

32: Are you mad at anyone? Nah

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 19? I’m pretty sure.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet? Road Trip starting 2 June hang out w/me other friends while u still can!!!

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I am keeping literally nothing from my best friend. Unless she wants to know random things about my past past that I haven’t thought of, or details that I haven’t brought up about things she already knows about.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Actually a little. It was a long enough while ago now to where I don’t have as much a problem with it.

42: Are you available? I... I don’t know? (y’all shoulda asked 43 b/c it would be funny).

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Nose ring?

46:Do you regret anything? See #40

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Lose as in stop being friends? Yeah but it was for the best. Lose as in they died? no.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I don’t think I have romantic feelings for anyone. I’m trying to avoid thinking about romance seriously until I matriculate into College.

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? ...yes? Is this even a question for me?

54: Did you get any compliments today? Long time drum student expressed sadness that I was leaving soon, which made me cry a little.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Yes.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Colorado

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Not successfully. Like. We were going too but everyone was too tired and we just laid around instead.

62: Who do you text the most? Best friend if you count non-SMS texting, otherwise it’s my parents.

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Like I’ve got one of those.

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes. Almost all of the people I’ve kissed are younger than me.

68: Are you happy with where you live? It’s nice but i’m rEADY to lEAVE

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m fine with both in theory but I might be a little too jealous to actually have a poly relationship. But. Maybe? I’ve never tried it.

72:What do you most like about making out? Teeth. Pressure of someone’s lips against mine. Pressure of someone’s body against mine. Tongue. Warmth and passion. Breath. Teasing. TEASING. teeth. Really all of it. All of it is good. Oh and personal fav thing is making shitty puns and having th partner break down into laughter b/c it’s cute as hell.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually, I would say, I start things. It can really go either way tho.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Parents

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope. Not sure I could to be tbh honest.

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Not at the tender age of 18.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Not directly but it slips out. Plus I am not subtle.

84:Last time you slow danced with someone? In a romantic context it’s been like 3 or 4 years, but, like, I slowdance with best friends at school dances sometimes.

86: How can I win your heart? Fuck if I know it just happens an I’m all ‘oh shit’

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping, but barely.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? I mean. I guess kinda but not really. It wasn’t NO communication.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I don’t have the luxury of choosing. Few people find me attractive, so I take what I can get.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! Kaoss Pad, shit tonne of samples fr music, more musical talent, enough money to be financially secure.

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yes. Twice. Both because of the same person to be real here.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Not really I don’t think. I’ve met people randomly, found out they had a tumblr and then became mutuals with them, though.

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Yah there’s plenty.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? The last time I did it, they got me high first, and then shot me down after so like... I mean I usually don’t imma be real here.But I can and have done it.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? only if we’re kissing or obviously joking.

106: Do you flirt a lot? Does the Pope Shit in the Woods? (yes. That’s a yes)

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? I’ve kissed 9 people, and I hadn’t kissed anyone in 2012 so... yes.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? I don’t know. Any cute person who wanted to I guess. I am not desperately wishing to kiss people who I cannot kiss right now so...

112: Does someone like you currently? I dunno. Do they?

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I haven’t really done too many flings. So idk.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I’m sad all the time, regardless. But fr it really depends on the person.

#Anonymous

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katzirra · 7 years

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2017 may be the year I grab by the dick and force to be a good year by sheer force of will, but I’m also fucking screaming because it’s the year I’m officially hitting the base of all my emotional and mental trauma and having to push through it and IT IS NOT FUCKING FUN FOR ANYONE. I mean 2016 was the start of it but 2017 is the BRUNT PAIN of it for me.

Most people wouldn’t know or notice because my exterior output but mm. I’m not showing or talking about MAJORITY.

It’s like by nature I am actually REALLY fucking timid and passive and compliant, I just have a very extroverted exterior in relation to once I’ve been provoked or tapped?? I fake energy and excitement and all that to not appear timid and such? I don’t like being asked what I want because I DON’T KNOW?? I’m so... low key. I am a LAZY FUCKING CAT. I am not named Kat for NOTHING. REALLY.

That’s... I don’t want people to do things for my sake? I like companionship. I like people to be happy. I like to feel helpful and needed. I like to do what I can. I’ve spent my life servicing people and being there for people that I don’t know what that question MEANS? I don’t know what I want to do half my days I have FREE TIME?? I am constantly like h-hey who is up to hang out?? And not asking people... -rubs face- I’m trying SO fucking hard to get BETTER about EVERYTHING. ALL. AT. ONCE. ust for MY sake!!

I’m exhausted with being this way... I want to be happy and okay and have less drops and less feeling like I’m awful and more thriving because I know how fucking gOOD of a person I actually am?? I try SO HARD and I work SO HARD and I push myself and I offer to do SO much... I encourage and uplift and I really like positive energy and stuff while still being realistic and... I like all these things about myself. It’s the fact I have bad sides that I reign in and manage that I will get swarmed and drowned by.

I don’t understand that question. Anytime my girlfriend asks me what I want to do when she gets home I’m just like... I don’t know, I have a compliant mood, what is YOUR mood in the mood for?? BECAUSE EVEN WHEN I’M NOT OKAY I WILL SUCK IT UP AND ACT NORMAL FOR OTHERS?? It’s just how I AM?? People can’t FIX those moods for me really and I...-rubs face- I don’t know.

What do I want. I want to be happy and feel like I deserve to be happy? I know at my highest highs I am a good person, I do everything I can for people, I love to do kind deeds for no pay off, I love hearing compliments, I love hearing things people appreciate about me, I am awkward as fuck about it but I love hearing my values. I like to draw for people. I like to write for myself. I like to doodle little things for myself. I like to feel good in my own skin. I like to feel pretty. I like to feel like I mean something. I like being told I love you. I like feeling secure. I like feeling like things are under control and going to be okay.

I want to feel safe in my own skin. I want to know things are going to be okay. I want to know I’m worth my bad days. I want to stop being scared I’ll be abandoned for the next pretty face or better artist friend that waltzes by. I’m so USE to shit, man.

What do I want...

I like conversation. I like existing in a space with someone. I like webcamming and staring at people doing their thing, or catching eyes and just smiling because it makes me happy. I like feeling that thousand mile gap is smaller. I like watching shows and making fun of it or having a good time with it. I like watching movies and making STUPID fucking jokes or referencing garbage ships and amusements because it’s my CHEESE since highschool. I like listening to music together while we do our own respective things because it’s spending time together being productive, and not taking away from eachotyher but... having companionship so it doesnt feel like an awkward silence...? I don’t know... mm.

I love learning about things that people who matter to me like, and I love when people tell me they think I’ll like something or I’d enjoy something. I love the warm feeling in hearing “I thought you’d like it” because it means you took my interests into consideration.

I will CRY at so many stupid things, I yell at myself at how much of an overly sentimental shithead I am because WHEN PEOPLE SEND ME DUMB LINKS ON TUMBLR I LAUGH. MY TAGGED FOR ME TAG IS SO VARIED AND HILARIOUS AND AESTHETIC THOUGH... IT’S ME. IT’S PRECIOUS. My eyes WATER SO EASILY and I just... I don’t know -rubs face- Mm.

The nice shit people send me notes about my personal posts about thank you it helped me. Thank you and good luck. Thank you for showing that side of yourself because it helps. LIKE... I’m o SORRY people know the struggles I deal with too, because I know it SUCKS and I know I’m CONDITIONED in how I respond... fuck. So I know a lot of people STRUGGLE HARDER and it hurts my heart but I’m glad to know me succeeding or seeing me fight gives them a little fight to keep going sometimes...? Mm.. To inspire and ignite the fight to go on. Blah blah blah.

I like feeling like even if I’m a fucked up shithead because I’m fucked for brains emotionally DAMAGED, I am working so hard to UNDO ALL THAT AND IT’S REALLY FUCKING HARD FOR ME. I don’t TALK About half my emotional damage, it just kinda.... EXISTS and I react shitty and timid and fucking MM. I REACT TO THINGS A CERTAIN WAY because that damage exists and I have to OVER WRITE IT.

I have the possibility to overwrite A LOT with my girlfriend visiting and I’m SCARED as fuck to meet her face to face actually!! I have self image issues. I have confidence issues. I am really.... -wiggles hand- odd about things. I don’t want to be too forward, or too timid. I don’t want to this or that - like THERE’S A DOZEN THINGS IN MY HEAD even though actively I’m like; It’s going to be fine. Like brain is running around burning filing cabinets, but reality is like leans back in chair with sunglasses and finger guns, I am so not stressed. I’m excited more than anything.

You know how far I’ve thought ahead? I’m going to get there a half hour early or more, park my fresh bitch new car, remember where I parked, take my 3DS, kill some Pokemon and wait. When she lands? I’m gonna SMOOCH the fuck out of her and greet her with the BIGGEST smile. We’re gonna go to baggage claim and I’m gonna hold her little hand and carry her luggage and we’re gonna get food or something. Everything else is what it is??

Sometime that week we’re gonna go to Crown Center to Crayola Cafe and the crayola store and the fudge shoppe~ I’m gonna give her soooooooo many obnoxious smooches through the week, so long as I have the okay to do so, because whoo boy do I love giving smooches.

We’re gonna go to Zona Rosa where I work~ We’re gonna go on a date to a restaurant sporadically that week and or on our seven month anniversary.

I’m gonna be a WEEPY SAD KAT when she goes home.

THAT’S..... THAT’S IT. I’m not thinking about all the details and shit. I’m not focused on it. My brain is though. My brain is background sifting through past experiences and being like BUT BUT BUT and I’m like shut tHE FUCK UP I CAN’T WORRY ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AN IT’S ALL BODY LANGUAGE??

All I can think is I can potentially wipe out all the fucking shit with Alice, Kenna and Cas with this visit just being.... normal!! She ACTUALLY loves me and I’m not a means to an end!! There’s no fucking ULTERIOR MOTIVE. She’s coming here because we wanna be big dumb gays together and we LIKE eachother - hoooooooooooly shit.

That is LITERALLY all it’s going to take to literally SCRUB OUT A HUGE STAIN IN MY EMOTIONS. It’s going to take just her legitimately landing here and showing me ANY positive emotion/action??

I’d probably light up like a christmas tree with a fucking blush to boot being told I love you randomly and that’d be the fucking ICING on the damn cake.

I am so fucking EASY to rewire because all the struggle to deal with is ME untangling the wires!! My bars are so fucking low that it’s like once I sift through all this shit all I have left is just mm triggers and especially bad memories to deal with, and that’s fights for another day? Even those I’m... passive to? I just kinda feel awkward and uncomfortable in my stomach anymore... -rubs face-

I hate being asked what I want.

I want what I always say I want. Anything you want to do or feel up to doing. I’ll figure out the details if you give me a parameter. I’m okay with the BASIC and BASE existing around someone, most people AREN’T and need some kind of stimulation. I like throwing on stupid music or whatever sometimes...

Asking what I want when I tell you I want to do something with you, depends on if you want to do it. If you’re not up to it - I’m not really up for it then. I don’t know.

I’m lazy ambitious. If there’s no mutual or group gain from me doing a thing, I don’t really want to bother??

#kat life #i lost focus andm y coffee is cold #theres an ice storm outside #I have work tomorrow #me@god why this

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hellotvv · 7 years

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Tumblr

You know, it’s kinda crazy to think about... But one of the sites that I use the least nowadays is genuinely one of the sites that had the biggest impact in my life. I use instagram a lot nowadays, since it’s platform allowed me to meet and connect with new people. Maybe one day, it’ll even surpass tumblr’s impact on my life. Idk just random late night thoughts, but damn I never really took the time to appreciate this website LOL.

I guess how I got into tumblr should be a starting point. My first gf basically Kristy was very into tumblr. I was not dating her at the time, just best friends. I had a childhood friend named Cynthia that actively used tumblr and had a pretty high following count. Honestly only nowadays do I think that I finally surpassed her in follower count LOL. She had like 15k-ish, back when I first started using this website in junior year. So Cynthia highly recommended that I start using tumblr. I initially used tumblr as a way of kinda bonding with her and later my future 1st gf (having stuff in common helps lolol). At first, I just posted selfies and looked up dumb stuff that I like, so HIMYM/pizza/food/funny stuff was all I posted in the beginning. I never really found the appeal to it tbh at first. Like I guess I post stuff I like, so I can show ppl my blog and they’ll know more about me. But uhh idk? I guess what kinda made me get more into it, is Cynthia had a high followers count and she legit wouldn’t tell me her blog, unless I had 200+ followers. I was like WTF, how do I even get 200 followers!? So I tried to grow in followers by idk reblogging some cool stuff I saw on a very popular blog. The blog is gone nowadays, but it was basically vertical pics idk. It had landscape, which is basically what my blog is today. But it was like home stuff idk tumblr-esque vertical pics of home, roses, animals, landscapes, and stuff. I just reblogged stuff like that and uh did f4f until I hit like 1k LOL, then I started to join tumblr networks since Cynthia told me that tumblr networks are lit to make friends/grow. Tumblr networks did help me grow, but honestly it was orionfalls that made me get to like 20k followers today. Honestly I still queue up posts whenever I’m extremely bored once a month, so that my tumblr is still active. It’s crazy how uh strong my habits can be? I legit have always had posts queued up from 3rd year of HS to 3rd year of college and I only had a couple days, where I legit had 0 posts on kawaiitheo. The thing is, I never really took advantage of my high follower count. Like idk, if I posted something that is not a vertical landscape, it gets like 3-6 notes. I’ve noticed personal accounts with far far less followers than me have way better interaction... My landscape posts still get a decent amount of notes to this day. But it’s surprising how bad my interactions are ahhh. Like idk, I kinda always wanted a really high followers count with followers that wanted to be friends/get to know me/ask questions/etc... But I guess I should have tried to get popular in uh not landscapes LOL. But srsly, I have uploads that hit 100k+ notes... Also I legitly have 20k followers. I legit never did those promo4promos bs or anything after like 1k followers. All my followers found my blog and legitimately followed based on my content. I admit that orionfalls by queuing up my posts, I gain like 30ish folloewrs each time. But you’d have to go to my blog, see I have similar content to orionfalls, enjoy my content, and follow right? So I do have good notes on my landscape posts, but damn are ppl disinterested in me as a person :( Maybe I should have done more idk quotes reblogs/random text posts to make myself more than just a landscape posting robot LOL. Oh well... maybe if I’m really bored one day, I’ll try that.

Anyways, I’m getting super far off topic. Uhh, so Kristy had a tumblr, I made a personal tumblr since she didn’t really care for my landscape posts LOL. She did end up having a landscape blog and ended up following me again tho. She had a popular league of legends tumblr and tumblr was a cool activity/hobby that we both had. We’d share each other posts from tumblr and I got her into reddit, which she uses to this day. I think she stopped using tumblr tho. But tumblr was a cool hobby I had with her. I made my first every uh diary/journal like this, because of Kristy actually. She had kristyhere, which was her secret journal back then. She told me before we started dating when she had a crush on me and I was her best friend, that she had a private journal of thoughts that she liked to write on. She sometimes for whatever reason shared it with best friends that really knew her and who she didn’t mind knowing about her thoughts/feelings/secrets I guess. I was like woah o.o and read that blog religiously and apparently I was the first person to actually continuously check up on the private tumblr (pw protected, so can’t follow have to manually check). But yeah, fast forward started dating. I decided to make my own private secret blog and it somehow became my way of communicating with her, similar to what I later did with Stefanie actually... Unfortunately, I deleted the blog I had with Kristy after we broke up, so a lot of our idk history and my thoughts back then are gone. I do regret it a bit, so I don’t delete my blogs to this day. Since I figured it’ll be fun to look back many years from now to see my thoughts back then. But uhh, yeah used tumblr as a medium to communicate with my first gf, and it helped us idk bond and express feelings in a unique way. Since in these journals, you can have a conversation where you’re basically uninterrupted. You legit could type pages of your thoughts and the reader/SO just has to take all the thoughts in at once without being able to idk interrupt. It has it’s pros and cons definitely. But it was a way for her to idk complain about me haha and ofc randomly confess love for me. I guess the coolest thing about them nowadays is, I could always re-read her old blog posts about me and see how uh she fell for me, some really big highlight moments between us, and ofc uh dark times. I see my past dumb dumb dumb first relationship mistakes and idk silliness back then. But I also do remember sometimes she super misunderstood me based on her blog post, then after talking to her, she realizes oh haha my b. I guess I have a problem keeping this post consistent in topic. But yeah, tumblr had a huge impact on my life, since it was a way to I guess bond with my best friend, which later helped turn her into my gf. Also it was a cool hobby that we got to share together and a medium that we both used to communicate with each other occasionally.

Later on, it surprisingly led to me meeting basically the love of my life. I know I recently wrote a lot about idk Kristy and orionfalls (who I befriended through mutual interest in League, he has like 300k folloewrs crazy). Like I casually was browsing instagram and saw those kawaii battles, because linda chen? or whatever on ig was posting them. I saw Stefanie and thought oh wow what a cute girl LOL. I clicked on her instagram and then she had a tumblr~ I was still an active user of tumblr despite not being with Kristy anymore for like months at that time. I saw from her about she had a ridiculous amount in common with me and she lived in SoCal like wowow~ I didn’t think anything would come from it, but I just wanted to send her a compliment through her ask. Surprisingly she sent very wordy cute responses and we had back in forth conversations, before we transition over to kik. Then I think we had skype call together once, so I could hear her voice for the first time. Lol it’s crazy to think that I onced was kinda excited just to hear what she sounds like on Skype, and to think I was later in a position where I was sharing the same bed with her in her college dorm... Damn life is crazy. Then I found out her fb and slowly just started to message her from there. Only really talking to her later at night, since she had guard practice and no phone for a while LOL. Anyways, I had a crush on her, since she just typed really really cute and was just fun to talk to + was pretty. Idk I just really liked her personality :O and it was so nice and sweet, it’s like bro how can anyone hate this girl? Eventually I think it wasn’t until I started college that I started to talk to her again. December we had our first date and it was crazy! Eventually somehow began a real life relationship.. It became a relationship that kind of changed me, taught me more about relationships, made me really experience life (holy never drove in rain to LA before for a 1st date, never had that many sleepovers in general, never drove hours to LA, pulling all nighters for a girl, Valentine’s Day, driving on a random Thursday just to visit her since she was lonely, and etc etc). Like I guess in the process of idk trying to have a successful relationship with her, damn did I really experience life that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. Like idk I could write a bunch of what I learned like carrying conversations, having to plan the day even when I visit her in LA/her city, started to actively look for cool things to do like escape rooms or new places to go to, and idk improve as a person more for her + learn more about myself/relationships. But yeah, I’d say ig showed me Setefanie, but tumblr is obv where the relationship kinda all started. It brought to me a relationship + friendship that lasted from my senior year of HS all the way to before my 3rd year of college began. Crazy! From her junior year to 2nd year of college~ That’s some key years in a person’s life yo! I never really appreciated tumblr that much now that I think about it. But damn, it connected me with someone who undoubtedly had a huge impact on my life. So I guess I gotta appreciate this site more sometimes, even though I don’t really use it as much as in the past... It even has an archive of kinda my thoughts and feelings for years now from these journals/blogs, and on my personal blog of stuff I like, it sort of shows a shift on how I am at certain points of times and maybe slightly my interests idk. Also I similarly used tumblr personal blogs/journals as a way of communicate with Stefanie during the relationship too, so tumblr also get extra points for that. I guess I’m being really repetitive, but man do I take this site for granted in some ways. Like I don’t really use it that much, since idk not too popular and kinda boring nowadays, and it doesn’t really hold too close of a place in my heart. But it honestly should considering without it, oh man my life would be pretty different haha.

SO yeah, I guess kinda just random thoughts about tumblr. Who knows when the day will come that I truly quit this site. But now that I reflected a bit, it’ll have a small small place in my heart. I still try to post on my personal account and reblog random stuff that I like every day, since idk habit. I don’t queue that much on kawaiitheo, but legit the queue count is 200+ so I don’t really have to queue for like 2 months prob lol. I even post on my fashion blog every couple days at least like 1 post... As for this blog and my personal secret blog, I kinda slowly am trying to let this blog die out. But sometimes I just come up with posts that just fits this a lot more. So idk soon? one day? Who knows.. Random late night reflections yo.. Damn have this site oddly had a huge impact in my life.

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