#not that OFMD is a special interest for me. but its a show i felt ashamed for liking for some reason???

[stag-bi]

i keep trying to follow more ppl on here bc a few yrs ago i followed like. 230 blogs, and now its down to 120 somehow, and my dash moves SO SLOW. but when i do follow someone, even after careful deliberation, 5 minutes later i see them reblog some of the worst takes ive ever seen and im back to square one. i swear for every 3 ppl i follow, i unfollow 4

especially when the blogs are centered around bisexuality cause they seemingly cannot for the life of them stop posting absolute braindead bi vs pan discourse

#yesterday i followed someone and just now they put a post on my dash #saying 'white queers stop celebrating renewal of ofmd when AMBER HEARD is literally being shat on in court' #'YALL LITERALLY DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT WHITE MEN KISSING :eyeroll: :eyeroll: :eyeroll:' #like......... SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABT HGFHGHG #i cant take it anymore. and i actually LOVE well constructed discourse and discussion #its just the way its conducted on tumblr is just. Abysmal. Abhorrent #i no longer want any part in discourse that uses guilt tripping and shaming ones interests as ammunition #i literally have to be told by other ppl that its ok for me to enjoy self indulgent stuff #bc of how this shit has made me hate myself and the fact that i have special interests as an autistic person #not that OFMD is a special interest for me. but its a show i felt ashamed for liking for some reason??? #nadia keeps having to call me out for not letting myself enjoy stuff #and i love her for it soooo much #having to unlearn shame and self hatred in regards to my interests is precisely my biggest task in unlearning ableism #so when that internalized ableism and self hatred for my interests is weaponised against me #part of my journey to self acceptance is throwing that shit out the minute i hear it #interests can be criticised! and i personally do critique my interests EXTENSIVELY #esp in relation to my being a white nordic european etc #but not to the point of 'having this interest/enjoy this thing is shameful of you and something to hate abt urself' #when its like. a largely unproblematic tv show abt gay pirates #i refuse to be guilt tripped and i dont do performative activism in response to being guilt tripped

[lesamis]

Not on the list, but could I ask you your top 3 fix of the year?

oh absolutely, this is a wonderful question! thank you for giving me occasion to relive my fav fic experiences this year :')

separating salt from water by morian OFMD, ed/stede, 6k words, rated m

something was just in the water around the time of the ofmd finale and this was my favourite product of that. the POV in this is special to me because i don't think enough is made of ed pining anymore; we know he's in love, so the felt experience, the intensity and affective force of the longing he feels are sometimes glossed over in fic. he's in love; it doesn't need saying. but what i enjoyed so much about this fic is that it doesn't take that fact for granted, and it does tell us exactly how desperate and urgent ed's affection really is. pining levels to take your heart clean out of your chest. 10/10.

an allowance of pleasure by softestpunk Sandman, dream/hob, 17k words, rated e

if you've spent the entirety of season one of the sandman wanting morpheus to eat just like, one biscuit, perhaps a sandwich, and to maybe also have a nap and touch various soft surfaces, boy do i have a fic for you. i think there's always a delight to reading about characters unused to comfort being gradually introduced to it, but dream is an especially interesting candidate for this because his problem was never access to comfort - he has access to anything. it's about prioritisation and a sense of deserving, about wondering if the price for kindness is worth paying. i loved this fic's warmth a lot.

always been a storm by oopshidaisy OFMD, ed/stede/izzy, 90k words (and counting!), rated e, WIP

this fic has been like a friendly companion to me since april. in the realm of sequel fics for s1 of ofmd, it's my favourite one of the lot. i love it. i love how patiently it builds towards something that feels believable and kind, i love its humour and cleverness and its closeness to the show's tone, i love how it always picks up the exact threads you hope it will. there are no throwaway lines in this, which is such an incredible feat for a long multichapter work. it all matters and it all pays off. highly recommended for your longfic needs; this fic could raise me from the dead.

#happy end of year to you anon! thank you this was so fun #this blog doesn't have much of an ofmd audience so i haven't done rec posts here but #i did v much check the ao3 tag every day for four straight months. i did do that. and i did come out of that with Feelings #asks #anon #fic rec