#not to be dramatic or cliche or whatever but. feels very ''on purpose'' ya know

[risingsunresistance]

been getting back into mother 3 after All That and every time i see the sunflower field im like. whoa. that's so neat. i am Not overthinking it !

#i am just making this post to ramble about the sunflower thing again kjfhdg #it's almost been a whole year. i was in the middle of replaying mother 3 last june #i was at the sunflower field scene and decided to stop playing for the night #and that is the same night ''so long nerds'' was uploaded #not to be dramatic or cliche or whatever but. feels very ''on purpose'' ya know #destiny or whatever #the game was a huuuuuuge turning point for me in coping with life and death which i was. Very Bad at before! #and im sure you can tell i still am *(@&*(&*%(&^* #i havent been able to touch the game since but im getting better at it. been watching some videos n stuff about it #i still havent picked it back up tho. idk if i can sit through that cutscene again #i already kinda associated techno with sunflowers bc of the whole rising sun stuff. the staff being a sunflower #but the fact that i was in the middle of that part of mother 3 made that association so much worse #now they're just like. the death object for me. remembrance flowers. idk actual flower meanings but that's what they are to me now #idk if anyone remembers this post but like a week or two after his death my aunt tried growing a sunflower #it was unrelated to me and that whole thing. just another coincidence #she passed this week. so the sunflowers are really back on my mind rn #that's why i turned off the inbox was bc i really didnt know what to do after that #her whole side of the family died this past year #i hate to vent or whatever but i feel like if i dont mention it i'll explode so i've buried this under many other tags #congrats if you read this far i just wanted to have that out there i guess bc i've talked about her a lot #the cats are fine if you remember them. orangey has a home and my uncle is watching thomas #grief #grief cw #i dont remember what ppl tag that as #chat #i'll probably delete this later but im also gonna reblog all the cats n stuff again bc i just want ppl to see them