#nudibranch you know my soul

[cthulhusstepmom]

Price is so right for chucking soaps freezer meal those things are crimes against humanity also love that gaz is an accessory to the crime 😂

BUT IMMA BE HONEST REPTILE GUY SOAP IS OCCUPYING A NOT INSIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MY BRAIN!! Do you think hes a snake guy? A lizard guy? Turtle dude maybe? Dude is 1000% in love w crocs and gators tho. Probably what sparked his love of all things scaly when he was younger. What do you wanna bet he was one of the kids chasing frogs and looking for tadpoles throughout childhood? Probably stumbled over a common lizard basking in the sun while glomping thru a park or something and spent the afternoon falling more and more in love.

Consumed any and every morsel of age appropriate reptile info, eventually became a dinosaur kid etc. but also carried that love of them into adulthood. Imma bet he always wanted one as a pet, but bc he enlisted so young he never got the chance. Maybe he gets inspired by the communal tank to start looking into it 👀👀

Anyways i love ur fish lore so much ❤️❤️❤️

You are(as always) right on my wavelength!!

In my head Soap's dad is a reptile person and his mom is an animal person so he definitely gets it from somewhere. When he was young, Soap's parents kept all the herps locked up, both for his safety and the reptiles' God knows Soap was an exuberant and curious kiddo. It's only after they find him in the backyard flat out on his stomach at 4 years old, hand outstretched and a wild little lizard sitting in his palm that they realize just how empathetic he is. After that he gets to play with the reptiles more, always supervised of course. But he grows up surrounded by scaly critters, the equivalent of his childhood dog is a black and white Argentine tegu named Buddy who's turning 23 this year. He spends his days running around and getting into everything, carefully bringing back his catches to take pictures of before running them back to put exactly where he found them.

One day he comes home from primary school with a bloody nose and a black eye, discipline slip clutched in his hand. At recess some of his classmates had been throwing rocks at a little frog that had wandered into the playground and, when Soap had told them to stop, threw a book and ended up killing the little amphibian and little Soap beat the shit out of them with limited success(it was four against one you gotta give the little man credit). Soap's parents show up to the meeting with the headmaster and the parents of the other students with Primrose: a 17 1/2 foot reticulated python. After that meeting they go to the zoo and little Soap declares that one day he's going to have a crocodile that he can feed bullies to.

Having enlisted at such a young a young age Soap doesn't have many animals to his name, just two. A 14 year old ball python he rescued named Martha and a 3 year old bearded dragon named Bowser, both left in the capable care of his parents.

While he doesn't have the facilities to have a reptile on base and, despite popular belief, he does have impulse control....sometimes, he somehow ends up with quite the collection. The thing about soldiers, especially stupid ass new recruits, is that they make a lot of bad decisions (I mean they are soldiers so their track record is already in the negative). And Soap can't bear to see any animal suffer from improper care so he ends up operating a rescue out of his quarters. He's taken in everything from corn snakes to baby asian water monitors and on one very memorable occasion a surprisingly chill sidewinder.

He keeps it all very top secret, the only one he trusts is Laswell she takes care of feeding everybody when he's gone. It's not that he doesn't trust his team but it wouldn't be the first time he'd had a usually rational CO go ballistic. One time when he'd first enlisted and he was missing home, he'd found a little garden snake and was playing with it when his lieutenant at the time had seen, ordered him to attention and shot the poor snake in the head laughing as he did. He's learned the hard way that machismo doesn't mix well with his hobby.

Right now he's lined up a home for a little leopard gecko and a bearded dragon both with pretty bad mbd. A little more difficult to find a place for is the lavender false water cobra he's named Hugo and the 7 foot albino labyrinth burmese python he's calling Wee Man.

With the fish tank he's starting to get comfortable with the idea of bringing the team in on his escapades. But then Ghost shares his trauma with him and it terrifies him. He cannot let Ghost see his snakes, not because he's worried his Lt will hurt them, but because they'll hurt Ghost.

#nudibranch you know my soul #theres two types of toxic masculinity when it comes to reptiles #1: weird lack of respect for the sanctity of life #2: “to show my mastery over nature i shall now keep this black mamba in a ten gallon tank” #and of course im going to add angst to the silly little animal story thats what I'm here for #its now cannon that not only do Laswell and her wife havw monster fish they also breed cornsnakes and have a leachianus gecko #ill still be doing fish person gaz but theres so much reptile person soap runnig arohnd my head rn #cod mw2 #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #fish person gaz #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #kate laswell #john price

[bubbelpop2]

Hello, everyone. Today we are going to talk about nudibranchs. Nudibranchs evolved from very ancient snails. Which evolved from kinda worm-like creatures. When the snails evolved, they sort of... twisted their organs to save space inside of their snail shells. The nudibranch decided that it didn't like this, untwisted its organs, and sort of un-snailed itself. Nudibranchs can come in many shapes and colors. This is what just one kind of nudibranch looks like:

Seeing as the ancient forms of these beauties are one of the first well-known ancestors to the modern circus clown, each nudibranch naturally looks like a toddler that had some semblance of color theory, given clay, tried to make a love child between a slug and a moth, but specifically only using the bits of the moth that look like pipe cleaners. Lets take a look at the ancestors of a couple modern clown and clown-like species you may know.

Despite it’s appearance, no, this is not a bunny. This, my friends, is also a nudibranch. This is the direct living ancestor to the modern Playboy Bunny, which we all know, through their excessive use of powder and matte-based face decoration, despite their atypical clown behavior, and strange body shape, is classified as being at the very least, a distant cousin of the modern clown.

This is the closest living ancestor to the modern Children’s Party Clown, which in case you don’t remember, regularly needs to be scheduled for the removal of it’s benign dippin dots tumors, which go wonderful in fruit salads.

This is pennywise’s great, great, great, great grandfather. He’s less for eating kids, and more for eating sea bunnies. Despite the seemingly innocent exterior, these fancy worms in particular are cold-blooded killers, and thirst for the despair of every unfortunate soul that they come across.

This fancy mustachio’d fellow is the cousin of the modern mime. Nobody ever knows what he’s thinking. 

This is a perfectly ordinary cow. Here he is munching some grass. I thought it’d be a nice break to all of the science talk. Look at him.

This is the moldy bread nudibranch. He gets bullied a lot for looking like moldy bread. His mom says that he has a beautiful teal color, and a lovely accent of peach. He looks like moldy bread.

And here we see the Pikachu nudibranch. Capable of killing 15 fully-grown men with a single touch. Instead, they usually volunteer to power small, under-ground civilizations that usually rely on the much less efficient power source the electric eel.

This is just a picture of SCP-1867.

This is the direct ancestor to every modern clown in the world, who is still sexually active, and continues to make many new children, that will go on to have their own children, and eventually, evolve into more species variants of the modern clown.

#shut up bubbz #decided i'd make a nice nonsense post for once #nudibranchs #science #scp #nudibranchs: fuck this! (un-snails itself)

[twixtandshout]

(")Tagged(") by @ishallwalkoveryourcoldcorpses

Favorite color: Spring green through cyan. Which is more of a range than a single color, but any more specific than that and you start getting into the sorites paradox, so.

Last song you listened to: Pluto (Sleeping at Last)

Favorite song: Oh, too many. I think right now I have to say Watching You (Dance With the Dead), though.

Favorite musician: Probably Imogen Heap

Last movie you watched: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I think Big Hero 6?? (I just managed to avoid watching Ratatoing, apparently, but I don't think that counts as a movie, anyway.)

Last tv show you watched: Epithet Erased! If web shows don't count, I think that'd be Gatchaman: Crowds, and if anime doesn't count either, probably The Good Place. I... don't watch many things.

Favorite OC: I've got a couple! Jesse the changeling fae warlock, Teddie the Aasimar ancestral barbarian, and... shoot, that paladin whose name I keep forgetting. Those guys are my favorite little DnD family and I love them to bits. I'm almost glad I can't think of anything to do with them, so they can stay nice and content drinking sweet warm things together in the porchlight stasis of my mind instead of dealing with angst and trauma, lol. There's also Luci, current and former anime menace, who seems to have recovered from his recent bout of amnesia and poor decisions well enough to enter his soul as collateral in a demon deal rather than propose to his boyfriend in literally any other way. Still love my magically adoptable moped and celestial nudibranch ghost girls, too. I think Alioth takes the lead as my favorite OC though. I can't help but love this bastard answering machine-turned-roadrunner.

Sweet, spicy, or savory?: Spice can go murder other people's tongues, thanks. As for the other two, it really depends? I can't go through as many Pixie Stix in one sitting as I used to anymore, but I would definitely drink another shotglass of maple syrup. Still, savory makes for a better, more filling entree.

Sparkling water, tea, or coffee?: None, really. :p Sparkling water is an abomination and doesn't deserve such a pretty name. The other two smell nice, at least, but I wouldn't say I'd drink either of them. Tea wins out on the technicality of there existing, like, three kinds I'll put in my mouth and being the only drink I'd particularly like to like.

Not gonna tag people cause it's late and that's effort, but if I know you irl, you're reading this, and you haven't answered already, you can consider yourself tagged.

#answerin' stuff

[linddzz]

Highlights of the conference:

-The networking app has an entire thread for people to show off their animal tattoos, further proving my idea of "Newt Geiszler is the best marine biologist representation"

-Aquarists are all introverted weird fish people and the organizers know how to fix this for networking: Big name tags with your location/job, and so. much. alcohol.

-No you dont understand every night has involved endless free supplies of local craftbrew beer and wines.

-One lady who is a damn lead supervisor at her facility meandered up to me to tell me she liked my bowtie, then she formally stuck her hand out and went "hi Im -name- Im an aquarist" I got to see her freeze, hand still out, eyes widening in horror at realizing we're all fucking aquarists. You could see her deep soul shaking wish to be consumed by the ocean that she so loved in that moment. I responded with "oh my god IM AN AQUARIST TOO!!!!" We are all so awkward.

-Had a very alcohol-influenced in depth discussion with a lady from Monterey about nudibranch penis fencing and the two of us basically kidnapped this poor random bypasser to teach her about all the ways fish change their sex. I dont know if the woman was legit interested or was too scared to try and escape these two petite fish weirdos who were very passionate about Weird Freaky Ocean Sex

-Had another beer influenced conversation with one of the industries lead coral scientists on the long term effects of being raised Catholic and what being taken to confession at age 8 fucking does to a kid. "Thats why we're all so damn anxious"

-I used to volunteer at the National Aquarium in Baltimore (long time blog followers may remember). The damn curator recognized me and came up to ask how Ive been (he was my main reference that got me this job) and it was the weirdest damn moment because I kept remembering how much I SHAMELESSLY SUCKED UP TO HIM for them good reference points and here he was with crooked sunglasses absolutely HAMMERED.

-My boss is notorious. He does have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor and has declared himself "the coral god" of the industry but I had no idea the breadth of what I can only call a Fond Infamy he holds in the industry. I just say where I work and people KNOW. Reactions range from a knowing grin of "how's that going for you" to "oh you work for -name-??? Yeah Ive heard of him he's a crazy man!"

Apparently my boss got banned from MACNA, the annual hobby-based aquarium conference. When I asked him he shouted "BECAUSE I TOLD A FUCKING JOKE" and would say no more. I can only get whispered bits of it. His banning is legendary. It is the thing of fables. All I know is his presentation was called "How to be an Aquarist" and was, and I quote: "12 solid minutes of crude, filthy humor presented at a family conference."

His status of legend was solidified when, in what one curator called "the ballsiest move Ive seen" the next year he came to RAW (this conference im at) and went "you may have heard MACNA banned me. They did. Here's why" and gave THE EXACT SAME PRESENTATION

-Remember the octopus button up I had in that selfie a few days ago? I wore it to a networking event (aka the conference bought out a brewery for the night and let us loose on endless beer). Two dudes also wore the same shirt. Of course we're all GPO keepers. You could find the octo keepers by all the octopus themed clothes and jewelry.

-A poor animal handler designer from Denmark fucking dying and slowly melting in the florida heat. Last seen rapidly fanning himself and going "oh yeah this is the latest in Dutch air conditioning"

-overheard "nonono shhh you're with friends you can say it. We all know, it's safe. Sea turtles are all fucKING ASSHOLES"

#work adventures #raw 2018 #alcohol #casual ableism mention