#oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅ ⚅— @pureposer —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Still with this. It hurt, being referred to this way. He didn't feel good around Hazuki a lot of the time anymore. He couldn't make amends with him, and that made him feel sick in the pit of his stomach. He'd gotten so worked up, too worked up. He'd ruined everything and tried so hard to impose his love upon this person. A casualty of his former self. It tore him up inside.

But he knew that displaying that feeling, internally our out, would do him no good. He saved his mourning for the moments when he was alone and closed off from others. For moments when he couldn't be seen by his Composer or city or anyone else. Making sure he was warded so not a soul could take note of his pain, and he tucked it deep in the lowest cavity of his chest. And instead he smiled, and he tucked his hand in his pocket, and he hunched himself a bit to look as careless as possible.

"Of course not, Composer," Hanekoma replied in a professional tone. "You can walk away at any point that you get bored of me. I simply want to re-establish a connection with you so that our districts might work better alongside each other in the future. My own Composer aside, I feel as if I'm involved with maintenance enough that I should be on better terms with you. Otherwise, should something go astray, I won't be able to communicate with you properly enough to fix the issue. You have my guarantee that I will refrain from inserting my own opinions about things into our conversations going forward."

It felt so cold, but this was the best that he could hope for. Anything. Anything was better than the emptiness he felt concerning Hazuki. He was going to take responsibility. He was going to keep up with this Composer. He was going to protect this city. He didn't have to have a close relationship to do that much at least.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #violent imagery tw

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Starter for @pureposer​ —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

It felt like he had made a lot of progress with Hazuki since their last meeting, but he couldn’t just hang back and allow Haz to do all the work here. He knew he had to go and seek him out on his own, make Hazuki spend more time with him. He wanted them to grow closer, to become the family Hanekoma had been so afraid of just a little bit ago. Struggling to push everyone away and then struggling to bring them back in was an exhausting situation, and after things had gone so poorly with Joshua he was even more tired. But that wasn’t an excuse at the end of the day and he knew that. It didn’t matter how emotionally drained he was. If he wanted to have a relationship with someone he had to be the one to reach his hand out.

So he had invited Hazuki out to eat and had made his way to Dogenzaka to wait for him. He knew that Hazuki wouldn’t deny him. He knew he’d see him in time, and he didn’t even keep track of how long it took. Whether he was early or late, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he showed up. So when he saw that familiar face framed by that yellow hair he pulled a lazy smile and waved him over.

“Hey, Chickadee,” he purred, and he reached out his hand to Hazuki to offer him a hug, if he’d take it. “Nothing important today. I just wanted to spend some time with ya. I missed ya, so I thought I’d ask to take ya out.”

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #linger‚ for better ⤙closed⤚⚄

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Starter for @pureposer​ —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma stood on the street and gazed over his surroundings. It wasn’t too often that he left Shibuya, but he thought he’d come into Shinjuku to find Hazuki today. Hazuki was always making stops in Shibuya, but he likely wasn’t going learn much by only looking at other cities. He needed to take a look at his own every once in a while. Next would only be a matter of finding him. But while Hanekoma was sure he could go around and eventually hunt Hazuki down, he knew that surely the Composer had already noticed his presence. He either wouldn’t recognize him and come to see what kind of entity was invading his city, or he would recognize the music and rush to the side of someone he knew (and hopefully trusted to some extent).

Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t wander a bit, and so Hanekoma made his way down the street, letting his eyes drift over the scenery around him and focus on no particular element at all. Rebuilding a city from the ground up was a difficult task, but Hanekoma had to give it to the Shinjuku team for a job well done. He would have never expected that so much work could be accomplished in such little time. That must have been what came from having a team of reapers that were well and truly attached to their city. Now if only he could get Hazuki to feel the same way...

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #linger‚ for better ⤙closed⤚⚄

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — @pureposer asked: — ⚅

🔔*

Misc. Actions Meme

🔔  - for my muse to wake yours from a nightmare .

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma's body didn't move at all when he slept. It completely shut down as if a corpse, so normally it would be very hard to tell he was dreaming at all. But terrible. Awful. Traumatizing it still was. So much so that his body awoke and he made awful sounds as it melded between being awake and being asleep.

A terrible thing for anyone to witness, and yet Hanekoma, having already lost much sleep over this very nightmare, was splayed across the counter like this as Hazuki entered. A short break turned into a nap turned into this wretched sight.

And upon touching Hanekoma's shoulder and waking him, the angel bolted upright with a deep inhale and fell backwards from the stool into the floor. All a very terrifying experience for Hanekoma, as he grappled with the floor and threw his arms up to shield himself from the claws, the eyes of gold. And though the presence beside him certainly wasn't Ancestor's, the idea of angels above him right now was nothing short of a waking nightmare.

"Wh-who-- what-- what the fuck...!?" He gasped, shaking, trying to right himself but only succeeding in propping himself up on his knees.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #mentioned: catncore #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #distressed decaf

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — Continued from here. — ⚅

@pureposer​

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

The figure below grinned and shook his head, “Not a balloon. It does look stuck, though... Is one of its hands tangled in the branches? Why not let it go before ya attempt to hurt it?”

He was standing with a scrafty at his side, and it was glaring up at Hazuki with an expression that clearly read its skepticism for the individual. Hanekoma seemed to have a good handle on it though, just dropping his hand down on its head to calm it. He thumbed over the crest idly while he watched Hazuki from where he was standing.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #he's got an opinion and posted suggestion ⤙pokemon verse⤚⚄

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — @pureposer asked: — ⚅

⚅ — “  where do you get your hope?  what keeps you going during all this?  ” — ⚅

Deeper Starters

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma had to draw in a deep breath at this question. He took a moment to regulate it, really feel the swell and fall of his lungs and ground himself. Because when it came to hope, his own was dwindling quickly. He was losing his most beloved Composer, breaking the path that he had always been meant to walk to ruin everything. And he would be alone...

He didn't like to think about it. Couldn't think about it.

"My hope... My hope lies in the future," he said softly. "To know that if I live to my fullest in the moment, the future will be assured. No matter what happens, there will always be those around to protect and care for my city. That those I care most about will find their way and grow and create the most wonderful world."

It wasn't entirely untrue. Maybe he would be losing Joshua, but it would be to Joshua's (and maybe Neku's as well) benefit. He had to believe that it would be okay in the end.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ —Starter for @pureposer — ⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma was going about his usual day when he saw Hazuki walking along the street. He was honestly surprised to see the neighboring Composer in his neck of the woods again, since he figured Joshua would always go to his city after everything that had happened.

But still, he waved as they neared each other and adjusted the case strap on his shoulder, "Well, look who it is. Fancy meeting you here, Haz. You come to see Josh?"

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #//oops #//i thought I posted this #//sorry for the delay #linger‚ for better ⤙closed⤚⚄

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅

⚅— @pureposer​ —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

“Nothing about this was necessary, boss. If you’ve got a problem with Phones just stay away from ‘im. You don’t gotta interact with him. He still has a lot to do to make full use of his reincarnation, and I have no intention of allowing you to draw that to an end early, capisce? Don’t let me catch you messin’ around with him again. Don’t know why J hasn’t come snatched your ass up yet. Or are ya cruisin’ for a bruisin’ on purpose? You seem pretty pleased with yourself, but I am not amused. You have no right to interfere with my RG, Haz. Hands to yourself.”

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #mentioned: limitlesspossibilities #mentioned: kingsmedley #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— @pureposer​ —⚅ ⚅— Hazuki had Found a Very Cool Rock - Black, some Edges Rough Despite one Edge being Quite Smooth. The Size being Enough to fill his Hand. And he Decided to go and Find Hanekoma just to give it to him. Of Course he would, anything to get a bit of Recognition. Oh but when he did get to him? Words would be too Easy to Explain why he made an Appearance - No, instead of Saying Something like Hey! I Found this and want to give it to you! He just. Held it out. Quietly. Not a Word to say. —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma blinked down at the rock, a little confused at the offer at first. But Hazuki’s actions translated to him well enough. It wasn’t strange for children to rush in to their parents with such things, showing off their treasures like they had found gold. What didn’t translate was the fact that this was a gift, and so Hanekoma came to the conclusion that this was just show and tell.

“Hey, neat rock!” he said. “Where’d ya find that, Chickadee?”

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

@pureposer

“Holy shit, Chickadee, cease and desist. I know you’re an angel and all, but doesn’t that shit still hurt? Take it easy on yourself.”

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #read by someone taken as a good one ⤙dash⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅ ⚅— @pureposer —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma's smile faded instantly at his words and he furrowed his brow, "You... You tortured and murdered my daughter, Haz. Brutally. Why would you think I'd be okay with you after that? Especially after you'd already told me you wouldn't do this shit anymore. Especially after I begged you not to hurt anyone else. And... especially after you did already tell me you didn't want to be close to me. I was gonna step back because you requested it. You don't wanna get to know me. You don't want me to know anything about you. You put that boundary down and I followed your lead. So we are... only acquaintances, right? But you... you made it very damn difficult to get along even as acquaintances after you decided to damage Hope's soul. Hurting her wings... The logistics aren't the same, but it's the same concept. You're really hurting a very deep and instrinsic part'a her, and you had no right. She never did anything to you but be there for you. I... I know you apologized. So that must mean there is some remorse there. I accept that she's happy with your apology and since it's not my autonomy it isn't my place to hold grudges. But how the hell did you think we'd still be getting along after you did that to someone I love so much?"

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #mentioned: hopeful hugz #torture tw #implied violence tw #violence tw #ask to tag #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— @pureposer​ asked: —⚅ ⚅— “ you were different. you cared. “ —⚅

A Collection of Writings Starters

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

The statement was met with a soft, somewhat sheepish grin. It didn’t seem like anything particularly special, to just care about someone, but to know that all of his effort wasn’t lost on Hazuki made a warmth blossom in Hanekoma’s bosom. He was different, loving, deeply affectionate. If only Hazuki knew how hard Hanekoma had to pull back on his own reigns any time the two of them got together. If only he knew how much more Hanekoma cared than he even really showed.

But he wanted to be playful and cheeky anyway because he was sure the conversation would be too boring otherwise, “Well, there’s a helluva lot more where that came from, Chickadee. Maybe one’a these days you’ll let me teach ya how nice a hug can be. Though maybe you’d be more comfortable gettin’ that sorta lesson from J, eh?”

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — @pureposer​ asked: — ⚅ ⚅ — “ reality is cursed. ”  — ⚅

Choose or Die Starters

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma chuckled from where he was sitting and nodded, “Yeah, it can be. Well... I know why I think that, but what about you? Did someone freak ya out or something?”

Though Hanekoma honestly couldn’t think how it could possibly be anything but the other way around. Haz still wasn’t used to the world, and his behavior could be unsettling at times. Hanekoma didn’t take him as one to be bothered by much, just curious of different behaviors... Unless he was talking about some other kind of cursed. As in, literally cursed. And that was an interesting thought in of itself.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — @pureposer​ asked: — ⚅

⚅ — “I’m so tired I can’t do anything, but I’m not tired enough to sleep…” — ⚅

Exhaustion Starters

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

“Well, there’s two ways to handle that issue,” Hanekoma remarked, busying himself with buffing the countertop. “The first would be to wear ya out an’ make ya tired enough to sleep. The other would be to give ya something that’ll keep ya awake longer and maybe help ya perk up a bit.”

He didn’t have much of any idea for wearing Hazuki out. Maybe sparring, but he couldn’t be sure that such an act would be taken lightly enough that Hazuki would refrain from going overboard. And there was little guarantee that the Higher Plane would assume something was happening here that wasn’t, like a legitimate quarrel. But for the other suggestion he had coffee as a ready answer, and he was confident in his ability to be able to wake Hazuki back up. He wondered if Hazuki was someone that required performative sleep like he did, where he body would trick him into thinking he needed rest from mental, emotional, and physical strain that wasn’t actually there anymore. Or perhaps he was tired in some other way that only angels understood. Hanekoma was learning every day how little like them he actually was.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #you still lack in experience ⤙answer⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Continued from here. —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

“Well, I think I should apologize to ya,” Hanekoma replied, and he reached up to place his hand over the spot Hazuki’s had just been. “I hurt you. I got... emotional and worked up, and I hurt you. And I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have put ya through that. I shouldn’t have... put ya through anything that I have. I guess the extent of the damage I’ve caused you, it doesn’t stop at that incident, does it? I hurt ya a lot, didn’t I? And I... I wanna make it up to ya. Whatever you need me to do, you just give me the word. Because I know just my saying sorry doesn’t really do shit. Sorry isn’t going to make ya feel better. I did too much for that to be the case. I wanna do what I can, then. I wanna help you. I care about you, Haz. I know it doesn’t seem like it. I know I’ve done a piss poor job of showin’ it. But I care about you. I... I love ya, kid. I wanna do better from here on out.”

That was hard to say, like trying to choke down a rock. But he did it. And he hoped that the gesture was at least recognized. He supposed he couldn’t expect Hazuki to just accept all of that. Not after what he’d done. But he had to try. He had to make it up to him. And maybe... He wanted to try getting closer to him, too. To make himself a part of Hazuki’s life. He didn’t want to pull away from people anymore.

He was the friendliest iteration of himself that he’d ever met. Now it was time to put that quality to good use.

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸

[strawberry-barista]

⚅ — Continued from here. — ⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

Hanekoma glared down at the knife, and he reached out to take it. No hesitation whatsoever. It might have seemed as if he was going to take Hazuki up on his offer. He opened the knife and ran his thumb over the blade, let the glint cast a sinister light over his eyes.

"You think you hurt me?" He muttered as he studied the blade, a familiar weight in his hand. "Then, yeah. Let me show you just exactly what you did."

And then he looked up at Hazuki, made direct eye contact, and turned the blade on himself, and thrusted it hard into his own chest. He was surprised at how well he remembered how to handle it, how easily the knife slid between his ribs and struck him deep. Blood burst forth, but he didn't move his eyes away from Hazuki. He barely even felt it.

"Does that paint... A better fucking picture!?" He had to choke through blood in his throat. "Why the hell would you do this!? Why... couldn't you just leave it alone!? How the hell am I supposed to take care of -cugh- Joshua if you take the most important person to him away from me!? What am I supposed to do about that, Hazuki!? What is the law? Tell me now, what l-clgaw is there that says you can't-- can't leave him with us!?"

Hanekoma broke into a coughing fit as blood pushed up, and and he finally had to break himself away from Hazuki to cover his mouth and focus on expelling the blood, try to breathe even though he didn't really need to.

"Fuck...!"

#busy dizzy and lazy ⤙ic⤚⚄ #go over it or game over now? ⤙reply⤚⚄ #is this a place to shine? ⤙post neo⤚⚄ #mentioned: kingsmedley #mentioned: limitlesspossibilities #angst tw #blood tw #violence tw #cutting tw #stabbing tw #ask to tag #oh much like a stranger to yourself — pureposer ⊸ #distressed decaf