#only now with assurance from an expert that they're always right and we're wrong and ungrateful. not helpful!! negative progress

[skrunksthatwunk]

been wringing my hands about the concept of family therapy. scary stuff. like maybe it could help and we sure as hell need SOMETHING to change but i think it would be like taking a potato peeler to the soles of my feet

#look it probably works for a lot of ppl but every time i think about it as a solution for my Definitely Needs It family it's like. god no #it probably only works when everyone's willing to change and actually listen to each other #if i did it with my folks im worries they'd quit if they were challenged or talk shit about the therapist/methods afterwards #like im so worried the therapist would take their side and we'd be stuck giving in to them #only now with assurance from an expert that they're always right and we're wrong and ungrateful. not helpful!! negative progress #and if we tried to switch therapists my parents would be like oh you just can't accept responsibility 🙄🙄 #you just wanted someone to tell you you didn't have to try or to coddle you or make us do what you want or whatever #aghhh it's so scary and it's not even on the table. no one wants this but i also think trying to mediate it myself would suck so fuckin bad #aughh. sorry i wanna write about it as like. a tags rant. here goes #my parents don't apologize for shit. ive legit seen it happen once. they justify and backpedal but they never acknowledge their bs #they treat the harm that comes from their methods with a sort of 'well what do you expect me to do about it?! (rhetorical)' vibe #like there is no way to improve. like the ability for parents to fail and be flawed means those things must be accepted uncritically #because they're trying and they have good intentions. but if they really wanted to help as they claim they would be willing to change #if you're trying to help someone and they tell you your actions didn't help or are hurting them you should change your methods so theyre #helped. but they operate on this assumption that their methods should always work and thud if they don't that we're too sensitive #'youre asking for too much' was kind of a major theme in my childhood is what im realizing #instead they justify and focus on intent or their kids' flaws (real or imagined). they want to change the reaction rather than the action #they dont want to help they just want the problem to go away. and quiet kids look like happy kids i guess #thing is i cant even cite that many manipulative things theyve said bc we all go quiet as soon as they use a disapproving tone #like they'll just be like 'skrunks >:/.' and that's it. i cant say anything. i know i wont be listened to and they fucking do it on purpose #theyre kinda shit at defending themselves but i can barely follow their lines of reasoning so it's so fucking hard to argue with them #it's also so unnurturing. why is us being unhappy or uncomfortable smth to blame on our failure n not smth you want to help with? wth #yk the thing about the Shut Down Tone is i recognize and resent it sometimes but it still makes me feel like im not giving them a fair shot #bc i dont even slightly challenge them much (& they dont have to say what they mean for us to cower) i feel like im misreading their tone #that im being too sensitive and thinking theyre being controlling for no reason. like im reading into it too hard and hating them when if i #pushed back they'd freely be good to me and change and be reasonable. but now it's becoming clearer that that's not the case bc they Do Not #and if i mention The Tone theyll just say im overreacting and that it's my fault for not sticking up for myself AGAIN!!!!!! #and it's so frustrating knowing what's going on and still having these doubts. i can't trust my gut or what i hear bc they might be right #they'll straight up lie or change their arguments or their story to get me to submit. am i being gaslit??? wtf #but i trust my (treated worse) brothers' accounts which helps. my parents brag about their parenting skills to us btw ✌️✌️

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 03 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.9K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (02)

Next part (04) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Like a Damn Train

You're walking back to where the guys are with your milkshake in hand, side by side with Monica. The day was calm, and this is a good way to end it. You're at this cute snack bar, all painted in pastel blue and pink colors, and some lights to match. It has two different spaces, but the inside is almost empty since it's a bit hot today, so people rather sit on the outside. But despite having enough empty tables for everyone, you're all leaning against the cars, chatting and laughing. You're a party of ten people, double the number of those who came with you, the others just stopped by.

You do feel a little cast aside since you don't really know the people or situations they're talking about. But Monica is kind enough to stand by your side, being sure to explain what's needed for you to engage in the conversation. Her cousin Jason is here too, as is her boyfriend, Christopher, who has always an arm around her shoulder.

“I'm telling you. That girl is trouble. She's a compulsive lier. I can't believe I dated her for almost a year.” Clark complains about his ex, who decided to use her spare time this summer to try and get back with him. “She called me once, in the middle of the night, crying, saying she crashed her car and was bleeding to death. I almost crashed mine trying to get to her as fast as possible and when I did, guess what? She was completely fine.”

“I always warned you about her,” Monica says, and the others nod.

“I should've listened.” Clark nods to himself. “From now on, I will listen to Monica.”

“Always listen to Monica.” She repeats in a meaningful tone, looking at you and raising an eyebrow.

“What?” You shrug your shoulders, sucking on your milkshake.

“Nothing." She dissimulates.

“It's about that Billy guy, isn't it?” Jason asks, gesturing his soda can at you.

“Yeah, you've been talking to him a lot lately.” David, one of those who stopped by and decided to join the party says. He's been giving you glances since he got here, but you're pretending not to notice. He'll get the hint soon enough and let it go.

“We're friends.” You simply say, leaning against Monica's car. David was at the pool today, you remember because you had to tell him not to dunk his friend. And that means he probably saw when you stopped by Billy's chair to ask him if he saw your whistle, which he had found on the floor near the girl's locker.

“Friends? With Hargrove?” David laughs. “Not possible. The guy only thinks about one thing. I doubt he even has a brain.”

“Well, he gave me a ride home when my car wouldn't start, so... He's not that much of a jerk if he bothered to help.” It's not your intention to defend Billy, but it feels wrong to let David say these things when Billy has been so nice to you. You know you have to keep an eye open just in case, but so far, it's being as he said it would be. Just two people who work together trying to get along.

“And why do you think he did that? I assure you it wasn't out of kindness.”

“She's the new girl in town. Maybe he thought she lived too far and offered help.” Christopher says, shrugging his shoulders. “You can't read minds, David, you don't know what inside people's heads.”

It's clear David isn't very welcome here. People don't seem very comfortable around him, and all his comments get some kind of snap. “Are you kidding me? It's Hargrove we're talking about here. He never talks to a girl unless he wants something. And we all know exactly what that is.”

“Since when you're the expert?”

“Since I know how guys think, Monica. Don't act like you got everyone figured out just because you're coursing Physiology.” He says, and his tone makes Christopher shoot him an angry stare.

“Mind your tone when you speak to my girlfriend, David.” He mutters, and David rolls his eyes. It's cute to see how he defends Monica, and it makes you smile. They're a freaking power couple, looking so good together.

“I'm just saying–”

“I know this sound.” Jason cuts him off, making everyone shut up to listen to... God knows what. “The car. There's only one car in Hawkins that makes this sound.”

“Billy's car.” Mon states and everyone looks at the street at the same time, and seconds after his Camaro speeds through, like a lightning bolt. “There he goes.”

“Was he looking over here?” Candace asks.

“At that speed, everything he sees is a blur.” Her sister Alice mutters.

You're not really paying attention, eyes glued to the now empty road, not sure why.

“I can't stand him. His presence alone makes me sick, the bastard.” David continues, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can do better, (Y/N), trust me.”

“You're envious of him.” Candace states and her sister follows with a laugh.

“Why in the hell would I be envious?”

“Because he's way hotter than you are.” The words come out of your mouth before you can think. “Basic psychology, isn't that right, Mon?” You elbow her, who giggles and nods.

“Couldn't agree more.” As she speaks, you hear the car again, as if it's coming back. The same noise they said belongs to Billy's car. But since you're not the expert here, it could belong to any other car, so you don't give much thought about it.

“No shit.” Jason mumbles.

“What a way to ruin the night,” David complains, rolling his eyes. His dirty, greasy hair sticks to his forehead, and he pushes it back.

“Unbelievable,” Monica says, looking at something behind you.

No, no. It can't be him... Right? You don't move, looking at your milkshake, completely ignoring how everyone seems to be staring at you.

“Hargrove.” David hisses, in a low voice.

You turn your head to see if this is really happening, and the moment you spot him, you look away. He was in a hurry to be somewhere, what is he doing here?

“Go talk to him,” Monica tells you.

“What makes you think he came here to talk to me?” You're quick to snap back, sucking what's left of your milkshake and putting the empty plastic cup on the hood of her car.

“Because he's coming this way and you're the only one here who speaks to him.” She speaks fast, wide eyes.

“Fine.” You raise your hands in surrender when she starts pushing you away from her car. “I'll go and say hi.” You give two steps backwards, shrugging your shoulders, and making sure everyone notices how casual it is. Then you turn on your heels, walking towards him, but slower, just in case he'll walk right past you. But he doesn't, he stops when you do, not quite keeping the distance he should. “Hi,” you mumble, suddenly very much aware of the eyes on your back.

“Hi.” Billy flashes his bright smile, the one that makes you think he's happy to see you. As if he hasn't seen you in a very long time. “Hanging out with your party, huh?”

“Yeah.” You gesture at where they're standing, trying to get a grip of yourself. C'mon, to hell with what they say. Or think. “I needed a night out. What about you?” You take a look at him, trying to be quick about it. He's wearing a black jacket and a dark red shirt underneath, which is unbuttoned. “Judging by the clothes and how fast you were going, you must be heading to a date. Or a party.”

“Second one.” He looks at something behind you. “Decided to stop and get some fries. Join me inside?”

“Mmm...” You're not sure if you should leave Mon and the others, so you take a look at them. And you see David's face, shamelessly staring as if it was his business. “Oh, we were just talking about you.” You raise your voice a little, and you both make the way to the small group of people. Monica has a funny look on her face. “Right, David?”

“Only bad things, I hope,” Billy says, eyes quickly scanning through the party. He knows he's not welcome, but he doesn't seem to care. Why would he? He just walked in like he owned the place. “I have a reputation I'd like to keep.”

The expression on David's face is priceless, and some people cover their mouths, hiding a laugh.

“Let's get those fries,” you say, pulling Billy by his jacket. “But only if you're paying.”

“Obviously.” He gives one last look, straight at David, before following you inside. Only half the tables are occupied, so you pick one on the back, next to the window. “I'll make the order.” He says as you take a sit. Through the corner of your eye, you see the crew moving more to their left, just where they can have a better view of your table. Looking at them, you wave, smiling. Monica won't stop talking about it tomorrow.

“So. What kind of wild party are you going to?” You ask when he comes back, seating across from you.

“Tommy's. Wanna come?”

“No. It's not my kind of party.” Monica told you about Tommy, that in some ways he's far worse than Billy. Guess you shouldn't judge this Tommy only by what you hear, but since you have nothing else to compare it too, you'll stick with what you've heard.

“It figured.” He shrugs his shoulders, penetrating eyes burning thought your skin.

“Let's eat quickly then. So you can go to your party.” You don't understand why he came all the way back here. Just to eat fries? He was going to a party and stopped for some fries? You'll have to ask Monica about it. Maybe there's a psychological explanation.

“I'm not going anymore.”

Okay. That's even weirder. “Why?”

Billy only smiles, and you're starting to notice it makes you feel funny. You don't like staring for too long, so you have to find something else to focus your attention on... But there's nothing so you just look down at your hands. “You know that David guy is into you, right?”

“What? Of course not.” You take a look through the window, catching some of them staring. Monica is one of them, obviously. “I mean, he was staring, but... I don't know. I'm the new girl after all, and in a small town like Hawkins I get that people are a little curious about the outsider.”

“That wasn't a curious look, believe me.”

“You can't really talk about it, right? You're the heartbreaker of Hawkins.”

Billy leans forward, and when the waitress comes with your fries, he doesn't even seem to notice. You don't get why he's staring for so long, like memorizing a map. “I will be straight forward with you, (Y/N).” He starts, his voice suddenly darker, as if the game was over and whatever he's about to say is a matter of life and death. “I like you.”

That makes you giggle, completely ruining the atmosphere. “Okay. You like a lot of girls, Billy. I thought you said just friends.” You're a little disappointed. Guess you were just a little bit excited about maybe, just maybe, befriending Billy, not sure why though.

“No. I don't have to like them to–”

“Let me stop you right there.” You burst out. “I don't need the details.”

“I never liked any of them. Why do you think I never met any girl more than twice?” What can you say to that? Shrugging your shoulders, you keep your eyes on the fries as you eat. You have no idea where this is going. “But you, you hit me like... bang.”

“Like bang?” Raising an eyebrow, you repeat and giggle again.

“Like a damn train.” He's not joking, he's dead serious. “Since the day you walked into the pool, I couldn't help but stare.”

“Billy, I–”

“I always hated when girls started talking about their lives, their friends, their families, but you... I want to know you. Your favorite color, your favorite hairstyle, your favorite ice cream flavor.” Drumming your fingers on the table, you give a quick glance at your friends, looking for Monica as if you could send her a message through your mind, asking for help. “And it's so freaking bizarre because I never thought it could happen to me. I thought about approaching you as I usually do, try to seduce you. It would be so much easier if that was everything I wanted, but it isn't.”

“Uhm...” Okay, you're completely lost here. More than you were on the first day at the pool. “Pink. I like to let my hair down. And chocolate.” You try to remember the order he spoke, despite feeling like this is the stupidest thing to say right now. But you don't know how to react. Nobody was straight to the point like this, all of them always had some kind of game. Pretending they don't care, acting like they're superior, acting like they're stupid... Everyone who ever tried something with you had a strategy. But this guy, town's bad boy, who leaves a long trail of broken hearts wherever he goes, he's just putting all the cards on the table. And you were caught off guard.

“I noticed the first two.” He gestures at you. You're wearing a pink shirt and your hair is down, flowing down your shoulders.

“You don't know me enough to like me, Billy.” You sigh, not sure what do say next.

“Only time will tell.” Billy smiles again, biting on a frie. “Just give me a chance.”

“What about the 'just friends' agreement? I was totally down for that.” Friendship is easier. So much less complicated... And it would give you a one hundred percent security that Billy wouldn't hurt you. Not that you'd ever allowed him to get close enough to do that... Right? Right. “Friendship always comes before any... Romantic relationship. It's just the natural flow of things.”

“If that's what you think, we'll start off as friends then.”

Damn it. The smile again. What the hell is wrong with you today? Monica is getting to your head with all her 'mission' thing. “Friends,” you repeat because it would be so mean if you just backed off now. He did help you when your car wouldn't start. And he's paying for the fries.

“(Y/N)!” Someone yells and you immediately look through the window. It's Jason. “Let's go, we're leaving!”

Already?

You mean... Great. You need to get home to think. “I have to go,” you say, standing up after grabbing a few more fries.

“I can take you home.” He offers.

“I'm not sure. Wouldn't it be a little mean to them?” Part of you wants to go home, leave Billy and this whole talking behind, get back into reality. Get a grip on yourself and think this through. But there's something else, a tiny piece that lit up when he offered you a ride.

“You already came with them. I don't see why you can't leave with someone else. I will let you ride shotgun.”

“You really think I'll go with you just because I'll ride shotgun? I can call shotgun with them, you know?” You giggle, eyes suddenly locked on his.

“With them, it's just a possibility. With me, it's a fact.” The guy is cocky, no doubt about that. “Would it change your mind if I say please?”

“Begging doesn't suit you, Hargrove.” You snap, smiling. “I'll let them know.”

He winks at you before you turn to leave. You change your mind a couple of times before you reach Monica and the others. But now you're sure. You want to go with Billy. You haven't finished the fries yet, anyway.

“Guys, you can go. Billy will give me a ride home.” You say as some of them get into Candace's car.

“Ok,” Mon smirks, giving you a look that means she'll want all the details later.

“What?” David speaks up, a humorless laugh leaving his lips. “Monica, I thought you said your friend was smart.”

“Are you calling me dumb?” You gasp, unable to believe your ears. Who the hell does he think he is? The guy doesn't even know you.

“If you're really considering letting him–” He gestures at the snack bar, straight at your table. “–take you home, yes, sweety, you're pretty dumb.”

“David shut the hell up.” Monica has a finger on his face.

“Who do you think you are to put of your nose in my business?” You raise your voice, stepping forward. You're not the one to be insulted and keep quiet. “This is my damn life and I do whatever I want. You're not even a friend of mine so back the hell off.”

“I'm trying to put some sense into your empty brain and you're turning it on me?” He looks around as if searching for support. But half the group is by Candace's car, and those who are closer don't seem to back him up.

“The hell is going on?” Billy yells startle you a little and you turn your head to see him coming from the snack bar.

“Isn't it obvious that nobody here wants you around?” David barks at him, making an abrupt gesture towards Billy.

He stops by your side, towering over you.

“David here just called (Y/N) dumb,” Christopher says in a provoking tone. “Right, David? Do you have anything else to say or did the last sentences drained out your intelligence? The tiny little bit you have of it.”

“You called her what?” Billy steps forward, slightly hiding you with his shoulder. He's angry suddenly, raising his voice.

“Drop the gentleman act, Billy. Everyone knows what you want.” David comes forward too, throwing his empty can on the floor. “But if she wants to go from the new girl in town to another of Hargrove's sluts, that's all her choice.”

You're about to speak up when Billy moves, closing the distance between him and David, pulling him by the collar of his shirt and punching his jaw hard. You heart skips a beat and your stomach burns. David falls to the ground, a hand coming to his chin. Everyone gasps, hands covering their mouths. You see when Billy is about to move again, so you grab his arm.

“I told you. If you didn't quit being an asshole someone would put you in your place.” Jason says as he speeds away in his car, giving Billy a thumbs up.

But you barely notice the commotion, trying to understand what just happened.

“Call her that again and I'll make sure to break your nose the next time.” Billy barks, looking down at David, who awkwardly crawls backwards before standing up and walking away.

“C'mon.” You start pulling Billy, noticing how the muscles on his arm are tense, even through the jacket. “Let's go.” You move to stand before him, seeing the anger in his eyes as he watches David stumble to his car. Why is he so pissed? “Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.” You say, pushing Billy's chest, sighing in relief when he finally gives up and starts walking back into the snack bar.

Your heart is beating so fast you can feel it pounding against your chest. Billy gestures for you to walk in front of him as he gives one last glance at David's car as he speeds away. Running a hand through your hair, you notice how people are staring as you sit back on the table.

“That was unnecessary.” You burst out, still feeling hot from all the sudden commotion. You have your eyes set on Billy as he sits across from you, anger still clear on his expression.

Nobody ever did that for you. And you have dated before. Only two guys and for a short period of time, but still... You're surprised he'd go through all that trouble because of you, a girl he barely knows. “But thank you.” He's still so mad, like he's caged inside his rage. He keeps staring through the window as if waiting for David to return. “Billy?” You call him, standing up and moving to seat beside him, touching his shoulder. It seems to drag him out of his thoughts, and he looks at you, the anger vanishing, turning into something else. Something you can't name. “Thank you.”

“David is an asshole.” He simply says.

“He is.” Your eyes fall on your arm, still on his shoulder, so you move it away. “Nobody ever stood up for me like that. It's not that I can't deal with an idiot like him, but... It was nice.”

“Whenever you need, princess.”

The name and the smile make your stomach burn again, and you look down just in case you're blushing. As much you appreciate what he just did, you can't let any kind of feelings build up. “So...” You pull the plate with the fries closer, taking one and biting it. “You gonna be my bodyguard now? Beating up whoever calls me bad names?”

“I will if you want me to.”

You know he's smiling even though you're not looking. Biting your lip, you clear your throat. “I think that's ok. But I doubt David will cross my way again.”

“He better not.”

The rest of the night goes by calmy. When you're done with the fries, he gets you another milkshake even though you tell him you already had one. You stand by his car until the milkshake is over, and that's when you finally head home.

His car is do damn fast. Way too fast. You're looking at the road ahead, wondering how the hell he can drive at such a speed. “Billy, would you slow down a bit?” You ask, happy when he complies.

It's a little past eleven when he stops by your place, and you take a deep breath before opening the door. “Bye. See you tomorrow.” Smiling you step out of the car, walking around it. But you stop when you see he's getting out too.

“What? I'm gonna walk you to the door.” He shrugs his shoulders, and you look down as you both slowly walk to the front door. Once you get there, you awkwardly turn around, looking at him, noticing how the dim light from the porch lights up his face... He's cute. More than cute. He's... Very handsome.

Alright, stop staring now.

“Thanks again for the ride home... And for defending my honor, Billy Hargrove.” You mutter, your voice is strangely low.

“Anytime you need.”

“Yeah...” Clearing your throat, you gesture at the door behind you. “Gotta go.”

“Sure.” Billy looks down at you, and he suddenly moves closer. But before you can push him away, or even process what he's doing, you feel his lips on the apple of your cheek. It's almost unreal how his lips are soft. Billy doesn't come out as soft... He's rough, the bad guy. But this... This is confusing. You're sure you're blushing this time, frozen, as he pulls away. “Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night,” you mumble, turning the door handle. But it doesn't open, so you try again. “Shit... Oh, it's locked.” You search on your pockets for the key, excited to get in and get the hell away from Billy. This is unfair. He knows the effect he has on girls. You struggle with the key, sighing in relief when the door finally opens.

“Did I just make you nervous?” He asks as you step inside.

“Good night, Billy,” you repeat, giving him a half-smile before closing the door.

Today's events are getting to your head. What Billy did was... Badass. Hot even. You're a girl, how are you supposed to feel after a guy punches someone to defend you? It's only natural, right? Right. Shit, you really need to talk to Monica.

Running a hand through your hair, you turn around, ready to take a shower and get some sleep. But your aunt's image by the stairs scare you, and you hit the door with your back.

She has a smile on her face, bright and wide. “Hello, honey. Who was that guy?”

#billy stranger things #imagine billy hargrove #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x y/n #imagine stranger things #stranger things imagine