#oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

all my big moments this year I’ve spent alone

my birthday, my tournament, and now my 1 year clean

it’s hard not be upset about it

#happy year to me guys #I did it #I’m so alone right now #how am I supposed to be proud of myself when nobody else is #oph.pain #oph.stupidity #oph.thoughts #oph.posts

[p0ssywhippedcream]

when i start liking him again because we played thumb wars and he inched closer towards me during it

#oph.posts #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

guys i think my problem was i was really hungry

i am so good now it’s crazy

#oph.posts #oph.thoughts #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

the other day i said ethereal like urethral very loudly

it was a great day to be alive

#oph.stupidity #oph.posts #oph.thoughts

[p0ssywhippedcream]

quinni from heartbreak high is literally me fr ong

#oph.stupidity #oph.posts

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I think I’m getting bad again. I’m fucked hahahaha

#vent tag #tw vent #oph.thoughts #oph.stupidity #oph.pain

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I took a disposable Starbucks cup and put frozen strawberries in it, then added strawberry lemonade truly seltzer, white Zinfandel wine, a shot of vodka (truly started making flavored vodka too!) and grenadine. It LOOKS just like the strawberry açaí lemonade refreshers I get at the drive thru, but it’s boozy and sweet and I don’t get judged by my family for having a drink on a Friday night (even if I’m 21 🙄). Perfectly inconspicuous, and tastes like summer. It feels like that tiktok audio of “nobody’s gonna know”. Just thought I’d share bc I just came up with it and I love it

🐝

Lovebug you’re literally so smart I need to try that. Also I’ve never had a strawberry açaí lemonade because I live under multiple rocks in my autism cave so I will have to try that too.

Summer tastes like orange to me, not orange as a fruit but orange as a color. Like happy but not joyful, colorful but not neon, fulfilled but missing something for some reason. And flavored vapes, but that’s just how it be.

Back in my youngest years, id mix beer/wine with caprisuns and sometimes take it so school in water bottles lol

#🐝 anon #oph.thoughts #oph.anons #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

me getting over the fact that my bf doesn’t love me anymore after having a sobbing, screaming, hitting myself and pleading any god to save me panic attack makes me wonder how much worse itd be if i were on my period rn

I hope we’ll never know

#tw vent #tw panic attack #oph.thoughts #oph.pain #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

Me: *sitting in class, trying to focus early in the morning*

My brain: It’s my time. Take a graphically detailed visual of L masturbating furiously.

#sometimes i think my brain is against my survival #oph.stupidity #oph.thoughts

[p0ssywhippedcream]

i think my boyfriend’s finally starting to realize i’m too much to handle and now i just have to wait for him to break up with me.

#oph.thoughts #oph.stupidity #oph.bf #oph.pain

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I LOVE the last L ask as a fellow crazy person (it’s like the epitome of that meme “never let them know your next move”)

And I just realized a common medication I take to keep me from Completely Losing It TM is strictly illegal in Japan soooo I’d be super screwed lmao

ya know i kind of forgot to take my meds for like two weeks last fall and then just didn’t take them ever again

i just roll wit my crazy and pray i don’t black out again

#🤷‍♀️shit be how it be #oph.thoughts #oph.anons #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

If I ever needed to be under surveillance for the Kira investigation, especially if I was wrongly accused of being a suspect, I’d just fuck with L the whole time knowing the cameras were on. Make him very suspicious that there’s something wrong with me (there is) but hey, at least I’ve never killed anyone before. You wanna lock me up? Fine, but you get to witness my downward spiral into insanity.

“They’ve listened to crazy frog song 26 times now, are they like, okay?”

“Is that…a whole ass bottle of WINE in a bowl of cereal…?”

“There’s a perfectly good bed there why are they sleeping on the floor”

“What the FUCK are they building now it’s 3am”

Jokes on him, it’s not an act I’m actually pretty unstable with or without cameras watching me. I’m mentally ill and like to mess with people ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i’d probably just go back to my hospital habits if i were locked up again.

1 minute and 36 second showers watchin the handle the entire time waitin for my time to be up. stealin and stuffin snacks inside my dirty laundry pile under my bed so that i don’t get yelled at for bein hungry at night. checkin the weight and balance of every piece of furniture, shaking it intensely for a few seconds. hidin everythin in that little pocket in womens underwear and shovin new stuffs in my bra.

i’d probably ask permission for everythin too because i don’t want to get in trouble. honestly they’d get nothing out of it because i’d be actin like i’m held at gunpoint, measuring my fucking toothpaste n shit.

i talk to myself a lot too and i’m always doing a full room inspection everytime i’m in a new place, checkin behind counters and curtains and findin out the space between different windows.

so in theory, i’d probably just look like a crazy person all the time havin panic attacks left and right because for once, someone actually is watchin me and what if i do somethin wrong and they kill me??!?!? i can’t live like this you’ve got to let me out please i can’t do this again!!!

aside from that i’d stick my stinky unwashed feet in L’s face while he’s workin to bother him.

#oph.thoughts #oph.anons #oph.stupidity #oph.is legitimently a crazy person #oph.has issues a lil #i typed that and it autocorrected to a lot i feel seen

[p0ssywhippedcream]

honestly tbh you should leave him he's kind like, mistreating you ._.

like not even I would do the shit that he does to my beloved, especially w/ the tumblr thing, like I found their tumblr and left it (oh my God respecting privacy 😳)

n

i always imagined myself leaving if i was ever in a relationship that hurt me constantly but now i know exactly how hard it is to, i realize why my mom put up with those guys and i realize why i keep putting up with people who hurt me. because i still remember times when they weren’t hurting me and i think it’s going to change. i’m not saying he’s toxic but he just takes jokes too far sometimes and he doesn’t know how to compliment or communicate. it is his first relationship. i just wish he listened to me more.

#oph.thoughts #n anon #oph.pain #oph.stupidity #i’m totally being an idiot rn #i can see that clearly #but still #it can get better #oph.bf.rants #oph.bf

[p0ssywhippedcream]

i dunno why but i always thought the shawn the sheep theme went

“god save the priests, it’s shawn the sheep.”

i hope it’s not that

#oph.thoughts #oph.philosophy🤔 #oph.stupidity

[p0ssywhippedcream]

Me did it lovelies, we made it to 200 creamers. we have to have to party now.

I’ll bring the floats, you bring the dvds and nostalgia and we can snack on this pizza 🍕. Plus!

Any requests I get I will write if they follow my blog rules, tis only valid for 24 hours tho.

This doesn’t mean I’m not working on others but the ones I get within the next 24 will be prioritized cause I’m cunt and this is my blog so I’ll do what I want 🤷‍♀️

#get ready for smut & fluff & angst galore #every body gets a “’only valid for 24 hours instant request’ ticket 🤭 #hop on the ask train #go crazy with it babes 🫶 #oph.anons #oph.thoughts #oph.stupidity #oph.demands.attention #oph.philosophy🤔 #oph.silliness #love yalls 3000 💕💕💕💕 #esp my anons #love you N and you 🐝 and you BB love y’all so muchhhhh

[p0ssywhippedcream]

ok final update for tonight.

1- he didn’t block me for the reasons i thought he did, he blocked me because i was apologizing too much. Which inadvertently gave me a panic attack but that was an accident, he’s now unblocked me.

2- we talked about it more and he’s apologized slightly but i still don’t feel like understands why my writing is a point of vulnerability i don’t want to share with him yet. Either way, he says he’ll stay off my tumblr but i’m probably gon change my username anyway.

3- we’re going to talk more tomorrow and i hope it goes well because i know he’s a good person and he means well and he’s the best bf i’ve ever had but sometimes he’s just really stupid. I don’t want to break up with him, I don’t think he’s toxic and I don’t think he meant to embarrass me. He thought we were joking around and apparently he only saw my name and pinned post but stopped before seeing anything else. He doesn’t really understand much about my writing but he does feel bad for making me consider deleting it because he knows tumblr is my favorite hobby.

4- i believe he assumed we were joking when talking about him not going on my tumblr at all but i will verify tomorrow. I did two tarot readings and they both said what we have is good but i need to make sure my happiness comes before his so i’m going to try to convey that to him.

5- last thing, he’s not a bad person, just really dumb sometimes and hurts me on accident. i’m going to try to work through this with him and i think you know what’ll happen if that doesn’t work out. Either way, thank you all for the support and advice, I love you guys more than I love my writing itself. 💕

#oph.thoughts #oph.anons #n anon #thank you for everything my dear #you’ve been a wonderful help #💕 #oph.bf.rants #oph.bf #oph.stupidity