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malakhai-ozera · 3 years

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Discord Text Thread || Khoman ♥

Discord thread featuring: Khai and Roman @romanbeckett

When: December 24th (day & night)

Mentions: Landon Davies @davieslandon

Description: Roman texts Khai to forgive him after his voicemail. They start texting again later in the day and Khai is beyond fucked up and Roman once again expresses his concerns for him.

Trigger Warnings: HARD drug use, drug mentions, light sexting and dirty talk.(sorry this one is kinda looooong)

Roman. babe. You’re forgiven. Shit happens. I just worry...which is one of my issues. I worry constantly about everything. Always afraid something will happen to you.

Khai. I know, and I’ve been real careless. I didn’t mean to be a shit I was just... being stupid and fucked up I hope you know I really don’t have a problem with you staying with Landon. Idek what my deal was

Roman. are you sure it doesn’t bother you?

Khai. I’m sure baby. I just want you two to have fun

Roman. I’ll still see you there tomorrow right?

Khai. of course you will. Fancy pjs and all lol

Roman. oh my god I can’t wait lol

Khai. me either. It’s gonna be an amazing day for sure

Roman. I’ll be off work soon and I’ll bring us dinner

Khai. I look forward to it! I’m starving plus I really wanna kiss you

Roman. I reallllly wanna kiss you too. Maybe we can sneak in a quickie

Khai. maybe huh?

Roman. okay definitely, because I want lol

Khai.

hahaha well I’m always down baby. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you.

- Later that same day -

Roman. I miss you already

Khai. Miss you too

Roman. dinner and messing around was fun though. Best Christmas gift ever.

Khai. it was fun indeed! I couldn’t agree more

Roman. are you okay?

Khai. yeah I’m okay why?

Roman. idk just checking. I feel guilty now that I’m not there

Khai. don’t feel guilty. I have my drugs and hot chocolate to keep me warm haha

Roman. ooo what drugs lolll

Khai. Just the usual. I also have my tequila so I’m set lol

Roman. damn. I do wish I was there

Khai. I always wish you were here. But it’s okay. We will make out all day tomorrow

Roman. yesss. Can we cook a late night breakfast for dinner together and watch Christmas movies

Khai. absolutely! We can do whatever you want baby

Roman. I'm having wiiiine

Khai. mmm what kind?

Roman. it's a good ass Pinot

Khai. oooo im jelly I’m half way through my tequila advent calendar haha I got behind

Roman. Lmao omg babe!!! How much have you has?? lol

Khai. like 6 so farv ? Lol

Roman. FARV 😂

Khai. oops haha

Roman. I am laughing. I love you lol if I was there, I’d be in your lap right now.

Khai. I love you mooooore yeah you would

Roman. thighs on either side of you, straddling you with my forehead against yours, running my fingers through your hair...

Khai. damn baby... don’t make me come there and crash your party

Roman. SHSUSJEJEJEJENEJDJJE why is my boyfriend so HOT

Khai. because you were a good boy this year? haha

Roman. well we both know THAT isn’t true lol

Khai. hahahaha well then idk. But my boyfriend is pretty fucking sexy too though and lord knows I’ve been baaaaad

Roman. we got lucky now if we could just keep our damn apartment

Khai. I know... that would be nice wouldn’t it? can’t have it all though I guess lol

Roman. I still haven’t found a place and I’m stressed

Khai. yeah, idk where I’m going either. Maybe we can go look together after Christmas

Roman. yeah, let’s do that. Bleh. Anyway, don’t wanna bring down the mood!! How ya feelin?

Khai. I’m feeling goodz how you feeling?

Roman. goodz too I feel all warm and buzzy

Khai. hahaha dammit I’m glad baby. I want you to have fun just not to mush fun haha

Roman. I won’t have too much fun. Not without youuuu

Khai. good. Cause J like the sound o g that

Roman. babe you’re wasted aren’t you

Khai. yes I am ll I misssh you

Roman. omg mish. That’s so cute omg. I wanna hear you say it

Khai. nooo hahaha

Roman. mish mish mishhhh

Khai. you’re so mean lol but I love youuu

Roman. noooo I just think it’s adorable lol I love your typos. They make my life better.

Khai. Mhm you mage my life begetter. I should prolly stip drinking now hahaha

Roman. You probably should babe

Khai. that tot out of hand fasty lol oops

Roman. fasty omg you’re SO cute

Khai. lmao wow I gives up

Roman. I’m just imagining you saying all of this outloud, and it’s like making my night

Khai. hahaha I’m glad. I’m imagning you laughing and it’s making my nifht too

Roman. my squawking laugh god

Khai. nooooo it’s the bstes laugh wver and beast smile too

Roman. I would argue that YOU have the best smile my love.

Khai. Nope nope

Roman. UM *picture of Khai’s smile*

Khai. I look liek a weirro

Roman. WHAT you’re crazy lol

Khai. I’m crazy anout youuuuuu I wanna snugs you

Roman. me too. I love snuggling with you every night and it’s so weird when we don’t like !!! I’m so used to going to bed with you.

Khai. it is weird. Indint like it but Im gonna sleept in y it bed

Roman. sleep in my bed any time you want love. You’ll like the new book I have

Khai. ooooo I wish you erre here

Roman. I know. I do too. I miss those eyes. I also miss your scruff. That sounds so dumb, but I love the way it feelssss

Khai. I love yyou I’m gonna scrufff you up when I se you

Roman. scruff up the inside of my thighs PLEASE AND THANKS

Khai. you know j will

Roman. god I love when you give me beard burn

Khai. I thinks that the hottest thing yku ever said to me I want you sinebws

Roman. what can I say? I just love your head between my legs

Khai. I love it too baby. I luv makings you deel good

Roman. ugh I’m starting to get buzzed now lol

Khai. hahaha dinally this whol room is so pinky spiking lol yup nvm haha

Roman. it’s so what?? Hahaha spinning? Lol

Khai. yessum Jm good

Roman. bleh I worry about you.

Khai. I’m oka I promisee I hust miss you

Roman. I miss you too. So much baby. Keep talking to me so I don’t have to miss you even more.

Khai. what ya wanna talks about? Tell me ykyr favorite chrismas present

Roman. you won’t believe me if I tell you lol

Khai. yesss I whll

Roman. everything you got me. You know me so well. I’m obsessed with all of it. Ugh. The jacket, the shoes?! The freaking clock. You really did so good.

Khai. really? I’m so hapy you love it. I just wanted you to gave the best. You lok so good in those shows too

Roman. you know exactly what I like and feel good in.

Khai. cause I lover you

Roman. I love you too. How are you feeling?

Khai. sleepyyy but good gaga

Roman. baby I’m worried about you.

Khai. why? I’m fdine im jus laying in bed

Roman. i don’t like that you’re doing heroin

Khai. romsn it’s ojay

Roman. but you’re not even making sense

Khai. I ehould jus got to bed

Roman. maybe but bleh idk I’m worried and I should be there

Khai. no no, eont worry. I wsnt you to have fun.

Roman. I know but ugh. I love you.

Khai. I lowe you too idknt wanna hpset you

Roman. will you promise me you’ll try to stop?

Khai. fan we talked about tbis latr?

Roman. yeah of course

Khai. I jus imn so tucked up byt I wanba talk

Roman. I know

Khai. I love yky so mhch

Roman. I love you too.

Khai. I relly sm sorry. Ilm do better. Pleas have fhn tonight okay

Roman. I’m worried to death about you

Khai. I orimse Jm ok. I just nee to skep it off

Roman. okay

Khai. Smile is chrismaaaas

Roman. lol okay, I smiled

Khai. good boyyy

Roman. lol hate you!!

Khai. I knoooow but you lve me

Roman. I definitely love you

Khai. you’re my everything

Roman. Khaiiiii. You’re making me smile so much it fucking hurts lol

Khai. I mean itttt you’re all I ever need

Roman. god I think my heart is gonna explode lol you constantly wanna kill me

Khai. nooo baby. I just want you tk know how mych I love you and I am feelig better so thahs good well jot better but less high lol

Roman. lol!! Well. Bleh. Scared me there, not gonna lie.

Khai. I’m sorry baby I know I newd to stop it’s jus hard

Roman. i know.

Khai.

We can talk about this after the holiday tho. I don’t wanna ruin it for anyone

Roman. you’re not ruining anything for me. I promise.

Khai. I hope not cause I’d never forgive myself

Roman. babe. Don’t be silly. Everything’s okay *heart emoji*

Khai. you’re the best do you know that?

Roman. I’m not. But I’m glad you think so

Khai. I know so.

#chats:roman #chats:discord #ft.roman #ft.landon #tw:hard drugs #tw:drug mention #tw:nsfw-ish #tw:light sexting #{Roman Beckett ;; my peanut butter chocolate cake with Kool-Aid}#//this whole thread dlknfl;sknv;xnvd #text.

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cnc-hoebayb · 5 years

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The boys as supportive hype men bfs

For when you’re lookin extra fine and they just wanna hype the shit outchu

Zabdiel

-“dimelooo mamiii”

-literally that ^ but with different inflections on dif syllables everytime depending on mood/situation lol

-not a very big social media man, but will post a quick story of you like “🥴❤️” dressed in something reeeeaal nice then delete it later (bc he want u for his eyes only duH!)

-but in public tho !!

-wow

-that’s his game, he’d be huggin all up on you like no ones watching

-Defintely would get caught by the paparazzi for some “provocative touching/staring” with each other

-Buys you everything

-flowers in that little shop on the corner? Done. Ice cream on the street that looks way too good? Chocolate vanilla swirl it is.

-Would probably go all out and buy you a new fancy piece of jewelry too

-its his own lil ritual to get u a new pair of earrings that match with the particular outfits he loves to see you in uwu

-he honestly seems like he’d want to hype you up all day but then spend the rest of the night with you in private

-hype you up in his own personal way ayooo

-details? I think a lil bit

-whisper dirty praises in your ear about how good you look

-goes in between rough and tender touches over his favorite parts of your body

-dead eye contact the whole time so it’s super intimate

-k that’s all u get u thirsty hoes

Erick

-does that thing to random strangers like “that’s my gf” and points at u

-for literally anything

-like when you’re ordering food for you both at a fast food place and he’s watching you lookin snackish tell them you’d like two number 5’s

-he leans over to the old lady next to him like “that girl- mi novia 😉”

-he’s also very vocal

-just likes you or him (or both) to be the center of attention

-“SHES WALKING IN AND SHES SO HOT GUYS WATCH UR FUCKING SELVES”

-kinda embarrassing but at the same time so sweet and way flattering so u don’t front bout it

-doesn’t really show you off on social media, but more in public or to his family

-Just wants to show his favorite ppl his fav person and how amazing you are

-compliments you all day

-really bad pick up lines mostly

-but they’re so bad that they’re actually really cute and funny

-pretends that youre a stranger at a store and hits on you like you’ve never met before

-“Erick please not here,” you’d beg while in line at the busy concession stand of the movie theater

-“im jus asking if u as sweet as those cookie dough bites u got right there mami mmhmmm”

Joel

-literally the cutest of them all

-not super extra, but very lovey and sweet

-you’d walk in the room all dolled up and he’d be super star struck like “oh my god dude you’re so beautiful”

-for literally any outfit too tho

-You can walk in with his sweatpants and necklace on and he’d lose it just as hard

-stares at you all day

-buys you flowers just for the heck of it

-sweet gentle touches and kisses all day too

-when he talks about you in public it’s all super down to earth and him saying how gorgeous you are doing anything

-takes you out to show you off

-somewhere where he knows a lot of press and people in general will be

-makes it super obvious you’re there together

-“don’t worry HONEY, I’ll grab the door for you BABE” and looks other homies dead in the eyes for dominance purposes

-he really would take you anywhere to show you off tbh. The dog park, museum, grocery store, you name it

-he fills his camera roll with candid pics of you through the day

-when you guys get really rowdy at the end of the night bc you’re tired, he records you the whole time dancing n singing and being a crackhead

-but its wholesome content of you guys being happy in love and having so much fun :,)

-he posts it all and everyone is like “couple goals wowo” and it makes your heart melt bc you’re with someone who makes you confident and happy and he’s everything

Richard

-literally not one second where his hand would be off of you

-ESPECIALLY in public

-hand in your back pocket, on your waist, in your hand

-also the type of guy that would be super extra and do things like hold the door for you dramatically, carry you over potholes or puddles in the street like “no te preocupes amor, i gotchu”

-a master at subtly tho

-and subtle teasing

-would mention how fine you look at the beggining of the day with a low whisper in your ear and a hot neck kiss

-then totally drop it for tension purposes

-would ignore u in person for a bit or maybe he just doesn’t see you much that day

-then would post a fire pic of you like “sheeesh🥵”

-comments under all your recent pics suddenly with thirsty shit

-all the fans are freaking out like “GET UR MAN”

-but he’s still avoiding you personally bc he knows it gets you all riled up

-so you watch him post and hype you all day until he gets home finally and wants to touch you and love you

-and you’re like “NO! No touching bc u can’t play these games Camacho”

-He smiles at you and puts on his nasally play voice while swooping in to lift you off your feet, tickling your sides and kissing you all over

-“mira que sexy ohmygaaad”

-ok but also

-he’d take his time with you when it got down to business, letting you know everything going through his mind when he kisses you, every time he removes another piece of clothing, telling you how perfect you are

-slow passionate intense nights that feel like they could last forever

Christopher

-constant screaming

-“oye mamiiiii”

-his million stories on insta are all of you with dif filters, emojis, and captions

-he’s singing or yelling in the background every one, but honestly no one can tell at this point

-besos every other second

-you’re just *taking a bite of pizza* and Chris would drop everything like “fucK pls kiss me now”

-a lot of seductive glances from a distance

-intimidates everybody in the room tbh

-will be that guy talking to anyone being like “doesn’t my baby look ultra fine today- well i mean she always fine, but today it just hits different”

-probably very sweet like Joel but in his own sappy Chris way

-will sing to you every love song that comes on in the car or while you’re standing around

-dances with you in public just to spin you around, kiss you, and tell you how good you look

-you’re always afraid to look like that one annoying pda couple but the way y’all make it look is actually rly sweet and sincere

-also does that thing and records you being a crackhead at night, but he’s actin just as wild so all the videos are so hard to follow

-they’re all of you guys SCREAMING and CACKLING SOO HARD and no one can form out anything anyone is saying bc you’re both just being idiots

-he records you dancing like a dummy in the dark corner of your room and he’s just there like “AYY AY DALE MAMI AY”

-for some reason i just see him at the end of the night wanting a long, deep makeout sesh more than anything

-bc sometimes kissing can be just as intimate and passionate when you’re with the right person, and Chris is exactly that guy

-he’d be kinda vocal and mumble every time your lips disconnect abt how much he loves you and how crazy you make him by being so god damn beautiful all the time

#need me a zabdi or a chris ngl #someone who can handle me bc im a lot #and i oop #esp during crackhead hours #tag which boy u need the most rn lol #cnco #cnco headcanon #zabdiel de jesus #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #richard camacho #christopher velez

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bobowhooo · 5 years

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Sugarboys 3

Genre: Comedy/Fluff/Smutty/The hoes baekon and yoda back at it again

Summary: The boys become reps for the “loey corp” and baek falls in love at first sight??

Third shots the charm *wink*

“A foursome?”

“A foursome.”

Chanyeol laughed at my joke while keeping his eyes on the road. I gripped the seatbelt stretched across my sexy ass chest and pushed my head back into the headrest. The weather is nice and I just so happen to get a bonus for my efforts last night. Nothing can ruin my mood today.

“But baekhyun, are we really going to have a foursome? Because as much as I love you, I don’t think I want to see your dick, dude.”

“Obviously not, you fucktard. They just want us to go have lunch with them in the office. Can you handle that? And what do you mean you don’t think!?” I yelled at him after processing his words.

“I'm not completely sure if I want to or not.” Chanyeol said in a nonchalant tone.

“Chanyeol. I think you need to go ahead and figure that out, my guy.”

“Don’t say it like that, it’s not like that.”

“Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything, man. I mean, I am a dangerously handsome person so I can understand the attraction.”

“I promise, if you don’t shut up, I will kill us both.” Chanyeol spoke with a giggle invading his words, gripping the steering wheel harder with a smile on his face.

“That’s a bold statement. How do you know I won’t just rock your body with big nasty hooks before you can even try to kill me? huhh?” I said with my index finger poking his right arm.

The man started to swat my hand away as I laughed and continued annoying the shit out of him. The car swerved a bit when I poked into his neck and cars behind us honked with frustration. Chanyeol grabbed control of the steering wheel with his left hand and pushed my face away from him with his other. “Ugh! Gross! This is your jerking off hand!” I yelled into his huge palm after remembering the scarring time I walked in on him while he was “in the zone” that night. I pushed his hand away from me roughly and let my disgust take over my features.

“Give it a lick!” Chanyeol laughed out as he pushed his hand in my face again. I grabbed and bent it backward, making him wince and jerk it back to the steering wheel.

“I don’t care how many times you wash your hands, that hand will always be dirty.” I said while rolling the window down so I can fix my hair in the rearview mirror.

“Oh! We’re here! Finally.” Chanyeol yelled, surprised by the big and modern building.

“You sure this is the place?” I said. I eyed it up and down with suspicion. I guess it would make sense for a rich lonely woman to work in a place like this, right? I pushed my way out of chanyeol’s car and put my hands on my hips, taking in the fresh air of the losers wasting their lives working in a place like this. I bet I make their whole paycheck in a day and all I have to do is be hot. Which is never hard for me. I smirked and sucked in air. My eyes wandered the streets hoping to catch some kind of attention.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm coming with your lunch. I just almost got in an accident. Some people were driving recklessl- ahh no, I'm not complaining. N-no im not making excuses, i jus- nevermind. Yes. I'm on my way.”

I watched a random girl rush out of her car trying to balance bags of food and cups of coffee while holding her phone to her ear using her shoulder. Her brown hair complimented her healthy dewy looking skin, and her hips filled out her grey bodycon mini skirt perfectly, cascading down into her smooth legs and her feet adorned in black heels. Her torso covered in a blazer matching her skirt and the dress shirt underneath is silk in a pretty cream white color. It took me a second to realize I was holding my breath and I grabbed my chest. She’s stunning for fuck sake. I gulped before I felt like the world was pulling me towards her. Today just got so much better.

“Nope.” Chanyeol grabbed my shoulder. Here we go again.

“Not now, chanyeol.” I said swatting his hand away, feeling completely hypnotized.

“Baekhyun, you always do this, please just-” I interrupted him with my hand on his face directing his eyes to the masterpiece standing just a few feet away. “Holy shit. She’s hot.” Chanyeol spoke under his breath.

We both made our way over to her with our footsteps in sync. She huffed in frustration as she struggled to get everything she needed into her hands and when she threw her head back her phone fell to the ground. If this isn’t fate giving me a smooth entrance into her life I don’t what the fuck it is. I ran over to her and picked the phone up, checking to see if it was okay while also checking out her wallpaper for any boy or kids secretly. I flipped it around inspecting her case and then looked up at her. Finally, our eyes meet. “Your phone looks fine. Good thing you have this case. It’s pretty protective.” I said with a charming smile. I made sure to graze her hand when I gave her phone back. I hope it wasn’t just me that felt that spark when we touched. I gulped as a new and weird feeling shot me in the heart when she smiled back. “Thank you so much. I'm not usually this much of a mess, I promise.” Her eyes squinted while her small laugh filled my ears. Who the hell is this sent from heaven angel!?

“I’ll take your word for it. Let me help you.”

“Thank you.” She said sweetly, picking up some of the bags herself.

“I’ll help too!” Chanyeol barged through. He grabbed the bags from my hand in a hurry and smiled brightly. He looks like a complete idiot.

She looked at him with wide eyes of confusion and then let out a forced laugh. “This is my big dumb friend, chanyeol. Despite his size, he wouldn't hurt a fly. so don’t worry about him.” I spoke with slight annoyance.

“Hi.” He said softly, trying to charm her with his cute soft boy facade. My face scrunched slightly at him before turning back to the girl. “I'm baekhyun. Byun baekhyun.” Shit. I didn’t mean to say my name like that. I don’t want to come off as an asshole to her but that probably made me look like one. It’s just a really hard habit to kick. She laughed and held out her hand, “Well, you can call me serri. You guys are pretty funny.”

“Thanks. So where are we going with these?” I asked, holding out the bags im referring to.

“Oh shit! I'm really late! Please follow me!” She yelled in a panic with a worried expression. She ran (which was really a speed walk thanks to her heels) toward the building me and chanyeol had intentions on entering after helping this girl. Maybe she’s going into the wrong building. “H-hey are you sure you’re in the right building?” I asked.

“Yes, I am.” She laughed. She took it as a complete joke. I looked at chanyeol nervously and he looked at me with wide eyes. I bit my lip as we walked past the desk on the first floor and took an elevator to the 27th floor of this 30-floor building. I have a feeling everything is going to go downhill from here.

“Serri!” Some random guy ran towards her with a loving smile and I raised an eyebrow. Who is this cotton candy looking, kid? “Let me get those for you.” Me and him met eyes and he checked me out with suspicion. “Who are they?” He asked quietly, taking the bags from her.

“Oh! I met them outside of the building.” She said, still smiling. I handed her the bags in my hand carefully while making eye contact and smiling. I grazed her hand again and bit my lip. She looked up at me looking a bit nervous when my expression turned from friendly to touch me one more time and I might bust a nut. Nah, she actually doesn’t have to touch me, If she keeps looking up at me with those innocent eyes I might jus-

“Ehem!” The cotton candy boy fakely cleared his throat and serri snapped out of the trance I put her in but I kept my eyes on her. “And you are?” He asked in a slightly rude tone. “Byun baekhyun. Nice to meet you.” I said and held out my hand while still looking at serri. She smiled before a tiny giggle made it’s way out as she looked back at me. “I'm luhan!” The guy almost yelled as he slid in between me and her. “Nice to meet you too.”

“And, I'm chanyeol.” The big guy said as he handed the bags in his hand to luhan with an intimidating expression. He must be getting the same rude vibe I'm getting from this guy. Chanyeol threw his arm over my shoulder and I crossed mines.

“Well, what the hell were you guys doing outside of this building? Loitering? Or just looking for women to help.” He said and put air quotes around the word help.

“I’ll help your mom, asshole.” Chanyeol whispered under his breath.

“What?” Luhan asked.

“We work here!” I said interrupting them two.

“Really!? I’ve never seen you guys around.” Serri said, looking adorable and confused.

Chanyeol looked at me with disappointment.

“That’s because they don’t.” Luhan said.

“We do. Well, we’re more like future partners of this company. We actually came here today for a meeting with the ceo Hopefully all goes well and we’ll start doing some real business with you all soon.”

“Oh wow. That’s awesome! So you’re, like, going to be here a lot then?” Serri asked looking into my eyes. Luhan gave me dirty looks after seeing the way she looks at me and I smirked a bit.

“Well, yes. We’re going to be here for meetings as reps for our company. It’s called loey corp, you might have heard of it.” I said in a nonchalant tone. Chanyeol smacked the back of my head and I looked at him with a death stare.

“No, i never heard of it actually. But I never would have guessed that, seeing as you two are dressed like two casual pop idols or something.” Luhan said.

“Ahhh! That! Well, you know, it’s casual day at the office. so it couldn’t be helped!” I yelled before forcing a fake laugh and hitting chanyeol to make him join in. He dramatically screamed before stomping around and fake laughing to death. I looked at him in disgust before turning back to luhan and serri. “Well, we should get going.” I said with a smile.

“Oh! Let me take you there!” Serri yelled excitedly.

“Y-you really don’t have to do thaaat.” I said with worry in my heart.

“I insist. Plus im already going there to give the ceo her lunch. That’s kind of my job. I only came here to give luhan his lunch” Serri pushed. A small smile was on my face as I watched her. How can I say no to that damn face? There’s just no way.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Lead the way!” I said with enthusiasm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And this is the main office. Aka the big house, aka the ceo office.” Serri said, ending her cute little tour. “Good luck with your meeting.” She went to grab the door handle before I took a hold of her wrist.

“Chanyeol you go ahead inside.” I spoke while staring at serri. Chanyeol looked between us before making a sound of frustration and grabbing the bags.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” She looked up at me in confusion. The truth is I just wanted a few moments alone with her. Just to stare at her face. But now I have to think of something to say. “Well, I just wanted to say thank you for showing us around. It was sweet of you. I think I owe you a coffee now at least.” I said, giving her a charming smile.

“Hmm, sounds to me like you just want to take me out for coffee. Am I wrong?”

“I don’t know, Are you?” I teased.

“I hope not.” Serri bit her plump bottom lip, probably feeling like she was actually wrong about what she said. Despite that though, she still looked at me confidently. Those two feelings danced around her pretty face driving me to the sweetest kind of crazy. “You’re not.” I whispered.

“Excuse me!” I jumped and turned around to find a pissed off ms.yes. “Just why the hell are you so late, and why did you have someone else deliver the lunch I ordered you to get!?”

“I'm so sorry, i-”

“There is no excuse. I have had it with your constant fuck ups. I had no idea taking on an intern would be so annoying!”

I looked at serri as she kept her head held low. For some reason that sparked something in my stomach making me step in front of her. “It’s my fault. I was distracting her and told chanyeol to go in ahead with your lunch.”

“No, it’s alright baekhyun you don’t have to cover for her. She’s just a stupid 20 year old. Don’t try to save her. Go sort papers with the other secretaries. I can’t stand looking at you anymore.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Serri spoke meekly before walking away with her head still low. I looked back at ms.yes and she smiled. I can see through everything she just did and it makes me want to hit a woman for the first time in my life. I guess every now and then I have to remember she’s not just some old rich lady. There’s a venomous snake behind her fake personality. I guess this is the only time I cared enough to see it for how it is. Now that she’s involved. “Shall we eat now?” Ms.yes clapped her hands together with the same smile from before.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you.” I said. Her face dropped to one of fake confusion before a sigh slipped through her lips. “Was it obvious?” She asked with her eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, it was. For a moment you felt less than so you established dominance and superiority by yelling at her. Tell me, do you feel better now? Do you feel like you’re back on top?”

“So what? You never cared before if I was a little feisty. Why does it matter right now?” Ms.yes looked at me trying to find the reason behind my words and my expression. “What is it? It’s not like she can do anything for you so why care about her. I don’t recall you ever being this way. Not for anyone other than chanyeol at least.” I looked away from her. It’s not like she’s wrong. Our eyes locked again and I took a deep breath, my chest feeling heavier than before. “Ms.yes, I can understand why that’s all you think I care about. If someone can pay me, if someone can help me get somewhere. But I still don’t want to see someone innocent get chastised for my own urges. None of it was her fault. You owe her an apology.”

She scoffed and ran a hand through her perfect bob. “My apologies only go to you. I’m sorry for not being clear that you are just a young boy I fuck for fun. You have no say in what I should do or not. Now, now, baekhyun. Don’t get uppity just because you’re getting a little more money than you’re used to these days. Remember this, your job is to sit and be pretty. You’re my arm candy. Not my guilty conscious. Please act accordingly.”

This goddamn bitch. “Well, this arm candy has lost his appetite. I’ll take a rain check on lunch. I think im going to grab my chanyeol and go for the day. It was nice meeting up like this. We should totally do it again sometime.” I said with a small forced smile. Going off on her isn’t on my agenda today. Plus, doing that would make me seem ten times less attractive. I could lose her as a client. Which is not what I want. Yah boi lives a pretty expensive lifestyle, I'm not willing to change that. I reached behind her closing most of the space between us to make her heart race for me one more time before I go. “Chanyeol, let’s-” I cut myself off after I pushed open the door to the office and found chanyeol basically dry humping the client ms.yes has over.

“On second thought, you can keep him.” I said before slamming the door.

“Why would you agree to another lunch date!? If I was you I would have told her to fuck all the way off a cliff!” Chanyeol yelled as he slammed the door of his car. I did the same but less rough while laughing. “Dude, I'm serious! How could she talk to you like that? You’re the supplier, she’s the one in demand. It’s not fair for her to treat you like you need her more!” the big man moved about dramatically to emphasize his words.

“Yeah, yeah. But I chose not to care. Why lose my biggest client over something small that she already apologized for. Even if I can replace her quickly.” I said, stretching my arms and taking in the fresh air. “Besides, I have other reasons for wanting to come back and having some lunch.” Thoughts of seeing serri again filled my mind. I admit I have a bit of a crush already, but I won’t get ahead of myself, because I could say the same for a few other girls that didn’t let me fuck them upon introduction. Which is not a large number of women. But the weird thing about serri is as much as I want to get in her pants I want to get in her head, see what she’s thinking, get to know her. You know, the cheesy stuff.

Me and chanyeol entered the building and passed the front desk security without a hassle. We heard people whisper about how handsome we were every time someone passed us and I smirked. Going with a suit today was such a good idea. Not only because I have to keep my lie going with serri, but because I just look so damn good. Someone arrest me. I heard a sweet voice call out for me to hold the elevator when chanyeol and I stepped on. Chanyeol put his hand out in front of the doors and I looked out to see who it is. My eyes found a rushing serri running towards us. “Hurry!” I said loudly, beaming at her cutely. I can’t help but smile if she's going to look that adorable when she runs. Serri ran into the elevator before relief spread across her face. “Oh! Heyyy, guysss! I didn't even realize it was you. Nice suits. Looks like it’s all business today, huh?”

“It always is. Late for lunch again?” Chanyeol asked after letting the elevator doors close.

“Not this time, but I do have to get these papers up to the other secretaries asap, or else they’ll rip me a new one. It’s not my fault they’re all late on their paperwork, but, hey, it’s what interns do.” She said while nodding.

“Well, we’ll be happy to help you, if you need it.” I said, still smiling.

“Oh no, I learned my lesson. But thank you for the offer.”

My smile dropped and I looked away. What does that mean? Is she going to watch herself around me now? All because of yesterday? “Well, what if it wasn’t just an offer. What if I insisted?” I asked in all seriousness. I won’t let what happened yesterday come between us. Serri looked up at me and pursed her lips, trying to find words to say. Before she could though, the elevator bell sounded off and she snapped her head to the door. “I-i have to get off here. Luhan has some papers for me.” She said before trying to walk off. I stepped in front of her and she bumped into me, papers first. The work in her arms folded at the ends while they pushed up against me and I smirked.

“You seriously don’t think im going to leave you alone right?”

“I-”

“Chanyeol, grab the papers, I’ll have my hands full.” I slid my arm over serri’s shoulders and gave her a playful smile. “I think I need another tour of the place.”

We walked into the 27th floor like that and I caught that guy luhan giving us the evil eye from afar. There’s no way this guy is her boyfriend but he really could fool me if I didn’t know any better. “It’s you two again.” He said in a sassy tone while eyeing my arm that’s around serri’s shoulders. “Thanks for the very warm greeting.” I voiced quietly. Chanyeol dumped the papers in luhan’s smaller arms and he got dragged down a bit by the sudden weight. “Yah! I could have a paper cut now!” Luhan almost yelled at chanyeol. I stifled a laugh and so did serri before chanyeol gave luhan a pat on the head. “I can kiss it better if you want.” Chanyeol teased. Luhan rudely eyed him up and down then walked off as if he’s just been disrespected in the worst way. Which is understandable.

“Baekhyu, we should go” Chanyeol said with a fading amused smile. I nodded and turned to serri. “When are you going to give me your number so I won’t have to continue interfering with your work. Don’t get me wrong though, I could definitely do this all day.” She giggled at my words and put her index finger on her bottom lip in fake contemplation. “Well, I guess I do want that coffee you owe me. But I don’t know if I want you to stop interfering. You annoying me at work is making it more bearable.” She said with a teasing smile.

“Im annoying, huh? Girl, you haven’t seen shit yet.”

“Oh yeah, he can be much worse.” Chanyeol interrupted quickly.

Serri laughed and nodded her head. “Fine, I’ll give you my number if that means I get to be annoyed more.”

“Of course it does. I’ll even annoy you with the details of a cute little coffee shop we can meet up at.”

She laughed again and smacked my chest, letting it sit there. “I'm looking forward to it already.” I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. This would be the moment we kiss. When I give a girl this look she never resists. Serri’s cheeks flushed a bit and she moved her stare to the hand im holding to my chest. I stepped closer and licked my lips. I’ve been wanting to do this since I first laid eyes on her mouth.

“What are you doing?” She asked in actual confusion. The same emotion filled me when I snapped out of it. Shit, this is so embarrassing. I looked around with my face still close to hers and started flicking imaginary dirt off her blazer. “Ahh ahah! so dirty. I was just cleaning off your blazer. I saw some stuff there....” I spoke nervously while backing away. “Ohhh. Thanks, I guess!” She said, obviously forcing that cute laugh out. “I thought for a second you were trying to kiss me.” She scratched her head with smiling eyes.

“Nooo, we just met. I would never.” I said. I'm such a liar. A good looking one though. “Well, I have a meeting. I’ll catch you at the coffee place later?” I asked casually to see if I didn’t just scare her into not liking me.

“It’s a date!” She spoke excitedly while she walked the other way, beaming at me with flushed cheeks. I watched her walk away and grabbed my chest in relief that it’s over. “Real smooth, my guy.” Chanyeol said, patting my shoulder. “You really outdid yourself on that one.” I punched him in the arm and turned around to the elevator. If I don’t get off this floor right now, I’ll scream.

“Baekhyun!” I heard a stern voice call for me before I could take another step and my shoulders slumped. Who the fuck. I heard heels click closer to me before I turned around once more to lay my eyes on an aggravated ms.yes and some workers following her, struggling to keep up with her pace. “Ahh, you’re here?” I formed a question out of nervousness and giggled.

“What are you doing down here?” Her lips were tight when she asked.

“Someone’s big mad.” Chanyeol whispered under his breath.

“I was just, you know, looking around. You got a nice building around here!” I spoke loudly before some fake laughing bubbled up in my chest. She just stared at me with upset eyes, making me halt my actions. She sighed and nodded after eyeing me up and down. Her mature hand waved up and backward as a sign to the people behind her to scatter. “I had to finish some work on this floor but I'm done now. Come, let’s get some food in that body.” She said softly.

“Did you get enough to eat?” Ms.yes asked with her hand rubbing my thigh.

“Yes. thank you for it all. It was delicious.” I slid her hand off my thigh and smiled. I’ve decided to punish her for her behavior yesterday by cutting off any skinship. Then once she in that craving dick state she gets in, I’ll make her beg. It’s an easy set up since she’s so predictable. Predictable, boring, and horny. It’s sad how she chases after thrills but is still boring as shit. But maybe it’s because I have this newfound dislike for her. Probably both.

She looked at me with a frown and then grabbed her cup of green tea. I bet it's bitter like her dark soul. “Well, I have to get back to my office now. It was nice to eat lunch with you guys. Especially my yeolie.” The lady that’s one of chanyeol’s regulars tickled under his chin lovingly and he giggled like a school girl. I swallowed down my throw up before scoffing. “It was nice eating with you too, noona!” Chanyeol spoke in a cute way, making me stifle my laughter. I think I could actually die from watching this any longer. Ms.yes, on the other hand, looked at them as if it was the best couple she ever laid her eyes on. Which is to be expected from her.

The lady got up and chanyeol followed her like a puppy as he grabbed her hand. He picked up her bag while she waved at ms.yes, both of them walking out wearing smiles as if they’re in love. He really is something else around that old hag. I guess that’s apart of the game though. I sighed when I leaned into the modern couch placed in the middle of the office, sitting right next to the coffee table, that’s now all dirty with the remains of the food we ate. I wonder who cleans that up....probably the janitor. “Baekhyun, you’re dismissing my advances.” Ms.yes broke the silence with a confused tone. I looked at her and pursed my lips. “Yeah, i am.” I spoke nonchalantly because that’s how I was feeling.

“Baekhyun. I said sorry for the way I acted already yesterday. What more do I have to do? huh? Do you want another car? Do you want to go on a trip?” She asked desperately. Her eyes are hungry as her body creeps closer to me. I almost smirked but caught myself before it happened. This will always be my favorite emotion any of my clients show me. This desperation, this desire to do anything for me. The woman of the upper echelon melting like ice in my hands. It feels better than sex, sometimes. “Baekhyun, answer me. What do I have to do?” I finally let a smirk slip before turning to face her and loosening my tie.

“I guess another car will do.” I said with a pout.

“Consider it done. Now, come here.” She said, grabbing my tie to pull me closer. If this was anyone else I would have gotten a boner by now. Let’s hope I can get it up today because for some reason she’s looking extra unattractive. I let her kiss me and unbutton my shirt. Her hands spread around my chest when she finally exposed it from the dress shirt it was hiding under. If I don’t start putting in some passion right now she’ll get upset. So, here we go.

“Knock, knock! It’s time for me to clean up your lunc-”

I paused my movements when a sweet voice barged in. “Serri!” I turned around in surprise.

“I'm sorry!” The door shut after she yelled her apology. Shit. Shit. Shit. I pulled away from ms.yes in a rush. I tried hard to button my shirt back up before I went after serri but ms.yes gripped my arm, her polished in black nails dug into my wrist before I turned to look her way. “Where the hell do you think you’re going.” Her voice low and scary. “You think I didn’t see you two on the 27th floor? Making googly eyes at each other? Don’t play this game, baekhyun. You want your car, don’t you?” Her grip tightening with every word.

For a second I wanted to stay. For a second my selfish side kicked in. Who is she? Why should I care? But my heart can’t take it. I don’t know why I feel like I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t go after her. I can’t leave her alone. I ripped my wrist from ms.yes in a hurry, rushing to the door.

“Wait! D-don’t leave.” She yelled. “I’ll make her life as my intern a living hell.”

I bit my lip. “Darling, since when did you become so weak?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Serri! Serri!” I ran towards her as she opened her car door. “Serri, please! Wait!” The girl ignored me and slammed her driver side door, starting her car without any hesitation. I wasn’t thinking when I jumped in front of the vehicle. I stretched my arms out to completely block her. “Serri, It’s not what it looks like! It's complicated, and I can’t just explain it right away like this. But please, don’t run away from me.”

“Move, byun baekhyun!”

“Serri, listen! I'm a piece of shit, I know! I don’t give a fuck about anyone other than myself, and chanyeol. All I do is chase money and pleasure, and I have such a big ego that pointing these things out to you makes me want to punch a wall! But this is me trying my best to show you how far I will go. I will do anything, anything, just to get to know you better! Serri, just give me a chance.”

She turned off her car before getting out. Her steps, quick, as she walked over to me. She got close to me and on instinct, I began to back away. Her face getting closer to mine with a blank expression. “One chance. Just one.” Serri said with reluctance. “Only because I'm interested in what might happen next with you.” A sigh of relief rushed through my lips. I don’t know what this feeling is, I don’t know why I can’t let her walk out of my life.....but I know that if she did, I would regret it for a long time.

“Thank you, serri. I won’t take this chance for granted. Be prepared to be swept off your feet, girl!” I said, finally smiling.

“We’ll see about that.” Her tone was serious but her face was teasing as she looked at me.

“I'm serious! I’ll be the prince charming of your dreams.” I bent my legs to be the same size as her, looking into her eyes with a grin.

“I don’t know what's happening, but keep going.” Chanyeol whispered out of nowhere. I darted my eyes to him and dropped my smile before I heard serri’s small nervous laughter in my left ear. “Fuck off.” I whispered through tight lips at chanyeol. He smirked and threw his arm around my shoulders. “I have to admit, you two would make a great couple. I mean, he looks like he’s already in love.”

Serri raised her eyebrows and nodded her head as she took note of chanyeol’s words. “Love at first sight maybe?” She asked me teasingly.

“I think I’ll plead the fifth on that one.”

#potent savages short #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fic #baekhyun fanfiction #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo fluff #sugarboys

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starrysamu · 3 years

Note

omg i go to this shop on saturdays to study for about a month so far?? so it's like 4 times in a month right and yet one of the staff there actually recognise me and my friend SFNSJFS sorry maam jus tryna pass my module LOL (1/2)

+ also always happy to contribute any osamu content >:-) dorito man rights 👊🏻👊🏻 i’ll be waiting 4 that osamu barista au then :^) and pls your 3 points AJNFSHDFSB “girl what the hell…… this shit is expensive and dreadfully bad for your body if you keep asking for more than one shot...... you shouldn’t even be alive at this point what the fuck is going u alright????” dont mind if i come up with random hcs now idk sometimes idea hits and im like OHOHOHO (2/2)

+ OH YES LAST ONE i mostly use tumblr on mobile so i rarely check out desktop themes but i saw yours while sending those asks and OHHH SEXY THEME!!!!! osamu's back /chef kiss/

HHHH WHAT A MOOD LIKE PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME I’M JUST HERE FOR THE CAFFEINE KICK

and omfg PLEASEEE yes please send them my way i love getting lil headcanons doesn’t even matter who but mostly bc i can’t think for myself anymore i love reading what everyone thinks of their faves ):

and EEE THANK U!! there was smth glitching w it not long ago but i think .. it fixed itself ... maybe. i need to mess around w it some more though i wanna change some of the colors hhhhhhh idk WE’LL SEE AHAH

#bap-kingdom #remy cooks

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carnageacorn · 4 years

Text

QUIZ QUOZ

Hello! its been A WHILE since we’ve done this. relationships come and go but quiz time is eternal. instead of doing quizzes like an ask meme i just answer all the questions because i want to. its under the read more have fun fam

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

i would love to be taller which i think is just a regular transmasc mood

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

right now i am fucking OBSESSED with getting a retired greyhound. in the distanter (see: living somewhere i can have cats) future i would also like a hairless cat and at least 1 rat.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

GRUNGE SLUT

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

pkmn yellow

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

1. my ex (95% of thoughts)

2. everything im putting off

3. hannibal

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

warning: unfortunately cannot be even slightly someone else

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

oh so since this was an ask meme it would be that someone would put something in that slot to ask. since i am answering it i get to talk about whatever i want which is going to be: my breakup, the only thing i want to talk about.

what do i think about my breakup:

it was bad but inevitable and if i am very, very lucky i will be able to move on from it. no comment on the theoretical idea of finding someone new.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is a question i have to do RESEARCH FOR? lmaoooooooo

9: Are you ticklish?

yeah and in the fiction wherein u, reader of this, are ever in a place 2 do that to me, i will hurt u with my very powerful fists

10: Are you allergic to anything?

bananas ):

11: What’s your sexuality?

im bi

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

ALL DICHOTOMIES ARE FALSE DICHOTOMIES. I LIKE EM BOTH. DOGS.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

(AN note: do u think the bits of stuff i just put in my pipe were actually bits of weed or just dirt? lol)

merperson

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

lindsay ellis who ive had a massive crush on since i was 18

16: How tall are you?

5′7″ at last official measurement but T and being intersex did some weird stuff to my height so who KNOWS

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

this is very relevant to me right now: a trans masc bitch named after a harry potter character. maybe griffin. maybe blake. i dont know. hil.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

somewhere in the 200-210 range thanks babe

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

no BUT! my opinion on Stuff Like This is its Faith Based: that is to say i believe that god has ordained a path for me in this world so who the fuc am I to say you didnt see a ghost. u do u boo.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

the ocean is less scary but space is cooler.

21: Are you religious?

yeah im not gonna say im the ONLY jew who believes in god but its close huh

22: Pet peeves?

when ppl mind when u re-tell stories to them and then re-tell stories to u

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

dinural if ur nocturnal u get real sad (source: have been)

24: Favorite constellation?

OHHHHHH MY GOD WHAT A QUESTION. since this is MY SPACE im going to talk about a BUNCH of constellations:

ORION: very cool because shes such a big bitch and its the only nice thing to see during the winter months

cygnus: when i got into astrology there was this time of night we’d go out and look at the stars in like late evening in september and cygnus was at the apex of the sky turning it into quad sections and i always love her for that

7 sisters: i learned about these girls at camp in 6th grade and always smile when i see them

lil dipper: ive only ever actually found her twice and for that she is a sexy macguffin

casseopia: i saw her in the sky when i was 18-19 and had just started smoking and every night was like “she looks like a constellation but i dont know anything about her” anyway shes casseopia and i love her

big dipper: always there. maybe my best friend?

25: Favorite star?

sirius for dumb reasons

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i dont have an opinion on ball jointed dolls

27: Any phobias or fears?

CW CSA TRIGGERS (things that might be triggering for someone whos a csa victim)

some of the weirder ones: falling asleep, sleeping near a door, eating in front of people

28: Do you think global warming is real?

jesus christ this question

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

ive been STARTING to vibe on this bitch recently! been meaning to research judaism/reincarnation crossover beliefs

30: Favorite movie?

i dont know how dare u ask me that. recent movies ive seen and loved: moonlight, pans labyrinth

31: Do you get scared easily?

yeah im scared rn bitch

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

me personally or have been in my house? me personally: 7 in house: 14

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

im asking me and i say my blogs a fucking 10

34: What is a color that calms you?

sof pink

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

my current THING is to move to new york

36: Where were you born?

37: What is your eye color?

brown

38: Introvert or extrovert?

exrovert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

uhhhhhh im going to say yeah

40: Hugs or kisses?

make out with me

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

idk like caley?

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

HAHA my ex bitch

43: Any piercings you want?

someday im gonna get som weird ear ones but otw im fine w just my septum

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

im kinda meh on piercings but i lov tattoos

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

i quit for 3 years but then i broke up with my fiance and suRPRiSE i started smoking again

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i dont want to talk about my ex which is the closest i come to having a crush. wait JK i love talking about my ex:

they were controlling and manipulative and sweet and soft and good and imperfect and broken and beautiful and i will always love them

okay gross dude why did you do that

47: What is a sound you really hate?

oh my GOD this quiz is so long. anyway the noise that means someone has contacted me online

48: A sound you really love?

SONGZ

49: Can you do a backflip?

what the fuck do you think

50: Can you do the splits?

no ):

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

ohhhhh of course i dont know. im obsessed with florence pugh’s face right now does that count.

52: Favorite movie?

didn’t we do this already? i think we did this already

53: How are you feeling right now?

drunk and trepeditious

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

oh exactly the color it is rn, my natural dark brown

55: When did you feel happiest?

at my ex fiance’s cousins wedding when we were waltzing.

56: Something that calms you down?

telling myself to CALM DOWN

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

i got bpd and bipolar 2 and depression and anxiety and ptsd and im THRIVING

58: What does your URL mean?

i like lions a lot and one time i had a side shave

59: What three words describe you the most?

determined, faithful, stupid

60: Do you believe in evolution?

this quiz is wack

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

if they post too much stuff i dont like?

62: What makes you follow a blog?

they post stuff i like? plus potential for friend maybe

63: Favorite kind of person:

30something fandom girls

64: Favorite animal(s):

lions

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

no! i wont! you cant make me!

66: Favorite emoticon:

67: Favorite meme:

SKELETON WAR

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

enfp

69: What is your star sign?

taurus cap cap and ashamed about it

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

i dont have a dog but my last dog couldnt he was very dumb

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

black boots plus canvas gray joggers plus tank top plus weird hoodie

72: Post a selfie or two?

no!

73: Do you have platform shoes?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i dont have a sense of smell

75: Can you do a front flip?

wtf kind of person is this quiz FOR

76: Do you like birds?

yeah birds are neat

77: Do you like to swim?

I LOVE to swim

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

to watch or do? i think ice skating wins for both but i swim an order of magnitude more

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

mosquitos

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

something something healing trauma device something

81: Piercings you have?

i still have partially closed earring holes, plus my septum

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

playing stupid phone games

83: Favorite person to talk to:

my sister prob

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

i knew it would be big but didnt understand how to use it

85: How many followers do you have?

i dont know and u cant make me check!

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

no id die

87: Do your socks always match?

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

idk and im not going to try

89: What are your birthstones?

whys this plural!!! emerald!

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

LION

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

oh my god this is a complicated question. oleander

92: A store you hate?

i hate me some walmarts, a place i regularly go

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

2 many (3+????? 5+?)

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

read minds

95: Do you like to wear camo?

96: Winter or summer?

summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

after about ten seconds im like why am i doing this and i stop

98: Least favorite person?

awww this isnt a fun question

99: Someone you look up to:

prayer for when i would have said jkr. carrie fischer

100: A store you love?

i just like the fred meyers that feel like u could get anything u wanted there

101: Favorite type of shoes

black boots

102: Where do you live?

im quarantining in MN but usually portland or

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no but i used to be vegetarian

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

bismuth

105: Do you drink milk?

yeah

106: Do you like bugs?

yeah

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

if people are LOOKING at me

109: Can you draw:

yeah

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

i mean when i was growing up i got asked a lot by strangers if i wanted to have a relationship with my dad which was pretty invasive of them

111: A question you hate being asked?

i am annoyed about being asked if i can still taste bc i dont have a sense of smell but EVERYONE ASKS IT so ive chilled a lil

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

probably

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

yeah

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

sunny

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

haha lol! lets go fictional instead of breakup sad and say will graham!

116: Favorite cloud type:

thos big puffy boys

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i dont think i could do better than god on this one im down with that deep deep blue

118: Do you have freckles?

some

119: Favorite thing about a person:

about which person??? about peopole???? my favorite thing about people is their desire to do good

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits bitch

121: Something you want to do right now:

talk to someone In The Know about the stuff about my novel im conflicted about

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

the sky sorry

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sweet

124: Bright or dim lights?

bright

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

The Takes

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

The Takes

128: What do you think about the least?

this is a bizzaro question and uve gotta know that. idk MATH?

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

my favorite epitaph ive ever read is “I rise and face the east” so i guess that

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

my ex [ AUTHORS NOTE: i am rereading this quiz and i thought it said “who would you want to punch YOU in the face right now. i would love for my ex to punch me in the face. however it said: who do YOU want to punch in the face. i do not want to do violence to my ex so i am going to change my answer to: a moose. just fuck me up.]

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that im so honest

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

very no

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

no, thank u god

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

lobed

137: Do you believe in karma?

uhhhhh im gonna say i dont have a sufficient knowledge of the like Theory of karma to have any takes on it.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

i feel like im a solid 6-7

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

hil is the big one that i still stan

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

ohhhh yeah i had gobs

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yes

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

i would say on the WHOLE i am a good influence

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

i like getting things bitch!

144: What makes you angry

not being believed

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

just the one. i know a little: greek spanish german hebrew

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

i like em all but my heart gets the most fucked about boys

147: Are you androgynous?

TRY AS I MIGHT TO BE MASC i usually fall out in the androgynous space yeah

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my Muscles

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i think i am very funny

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

my ex, uhhhhhh griffin mcelroy, lindsay ellis

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

i mean i wouldnt because modern medicine is something i kind of need to be physically okay but idk israel back when the 12 tribes were vibin? abraham on sinai?

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

yeah i love me some buzzfeed

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

im single. i met my ex at a nanowrimo event

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

im really bad at platonic boundaries so i dont do this

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

yeah

156: What embarrasses you?

oh pretty much anything

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

when cars go over bumps

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

oh this one is a bummer!!!! i dont want to answer it

159: How many people are you following?

WHO KNOWS

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

u KNO im not about to do RESEARCH for a TUMBLY QUOZ

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

JESUS like 900 its untenable

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

im still not going to do research but my likes stopped being a useful function to search through on tumblr like 5 years ago

163: Last time you cried and why:

right now my cry is broken. the last time i proper cried was like 3 or 4 months ago

164: Do you have long or short hair?

its like chin length

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

idk bottom of my ribcage?

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i think this is saying: why do you have the feelings you do about religion. i like religion because all paths are a path to god and its nice to be explicit about it.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

uhhhhhh. a little.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

no.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

jesus no

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

i did my best!!

#quiz time #quoz teem

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